AMC Transcript Monday 1/26/04

All My Children Transcript Monday 1/26/04

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Tad: Now isn't a very good time.

Krystal: But since you're here, I mean, could you close that door? That draft's giving me a little bit of a chill.

Liza: We wouldn't want that.

Tad: Aren't you supposed to be on the other side of the door?

Liza: Ooh, don't mind me. I'll wait.

Babe: Kitty got your tongue?

Paul: Are you saying that that baby's mine?

Babe: You and I got married --

Paul: And separated.

Babe: Right before I married J.R.

Paul: Does not mean we made a baby. It was one night.

Babe: That's all it takes, sweetie. And according to my calculations, you're a finalist in this baby's "Who's the Daddy" contest.

Greenlee: Too small for a cradle, too big for booties. What did Kendall buy? I've simply got to find out. Yeah, in Philadelphia. I need the number for Miss Philly�s Baby Shop.

[Gallery reacts]

Erica: No, Jack --

Kendall: Livia, you can't let Jack do this.

Livia: It's a little bit too late to stop him.

Justin: Damn you, Jack.

Alan: Objection.

[Judge pounds gavel]

Judge: Order in this court! Will you please read back Mr. Montgomery's last statement?

Stenographer: "It definitely wasn't that night. I didn't go near my safe or use my gun. I used a .38 I took from the police evidence room instead."

Judge: You are as familiar with the law as I am, so you know you just incriminated yourself. Would you like to obtain counsel at this time?

Jack: No, your honor.

Erica: Jack!

Jack: I'd like to continue the questioning so that I can tell the truth. The whole truth.

Alan: Your Honor, I move to have the witness' response stricken from the record. It's nonresponsive and irrelevant to the case.

Livia: That's ridiculous.

Alan: Mr. Montgomery obviously has a private agenda.

Livia: Just because you don't like his answer?

Alan: He derailed the questioning to sabotage these proceedings.

Judge: All right, counselors, approach the bench.

Reggie: It's all right. J's just putting the moves on, ok?

Erica: But what if it backfires, Reggie? I mean, Jack just admitted to the world that he's a suspect, and Livia seems to be encouraging him.

Bianca: Well, that's because it's -- she knows that it's all part of his plan. I mean, the more people who look guilty, the better Kendall�s chances of getting off.

Erica: Oh, yes, he will save Kendall, but he will put himself away. That is not the answer.

Alan: Everyone knows Mr. Montgomery has a personal interest in this case -- too personal. You can't let him manipulate your court.

Judge: I will handle my courtroom as I see fit, Mr. Singer. You may return to your seats. Ladies and gentlemen, Special Prosecutor Singer has made a motion to strike this witness' testimony. I'll take the matter under advisement and rule in the morning. Court is in recess until 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.

[Judge bangs gavel]

Bailiff: All rise.

Alan: This isn't over.

Livia: That was quite a high-wire act.

Jack: I thought it went very well.

Livia: You always did like working without a net.

Jack: If it pays off. Let's just hope Judge Lampert there allows this testimony.

Livia: Well, we've still got some options, so I�ll give you a call and let you know how we proceed.

Jack: I'll be perched by the phone.

Erica: Jack, why did you do that? My God, you all but admitted -- look, I know that you want to help Kendall, I know you want to protect all of us, but, Jack, this is not the way. Please don't do this. Please don't incriminate yourself any further.

Jack: Let's not talk about this here.

Ryan: Hell of a testimony, Jack.

Kendall: Yeah, you really blew some minds -- and some gaskets. You're not going to confess to Michael�s murder, are you?

Krystal: You sure you want to watch, Liza?

Liza: You know, I think I'm just going to catch up on my male reading, figure out the male mind here till you're finished.

Tad: By all means, consider us finished.

Krystal: For now.

Liza: Oh, look, it's a compatibility test. I just love these things. Tad, would you like to do this with me?

Tad: No, thanks. I haven't studied up.

Krystal: Oh, I'm a whiz at these things. What's the first question?

Liza: Are you looking for a serious relationship?

Krystal: Oh, now, serious is a real passion killer. That would be a definite no.

Liza: What about you, Tad? Are you looking for a serious --

Tad: I heard the question. I'm not going to play, all right?

Krystal: Oh, come on, Tad. Now just because we might score as high on the court as we do off doesn't mean I�m going to march you down the aisle. You seen my shoe, Babe?

Tad: Oh. Here.

Krystal: Oh, thank you.

Tad: Here you go. Why are you here? What do you think you're doing?

Liza: I want Krystal to leave.

Krystal: Well, aren't you the clever one? Turns out I've got someplace to go. Could you zip me up, Babe?

Tad: Oh, yeah. Good idea. All done.

Krystal: Oh, now, you, too, big boy. Oh, now that we're decent, could I have a word with you outside, please?

Tad: Sure. You want in on this, too?

Liza: Oh, no, no, I got four more questions to go.

Tad: Ooh, that's cold. I don't know what to say. I am so sorry about this.

Krystal: Yeah, well, first Simone, then Liza. You really ought to lock your door.

Tad: You have no idea.

Krystal: A guy as popular as you, you ought to have a secret knock. Oh, honey, don't look like somebody just kicked your puppy. We'll hook up again real soon, I promise.

Tad: I'm going to hold you to that promise.

Krystal: I'll keep it -- as long as you stop muckraking on my Babe.

Paul: How pregnant are you?

Babe: Why should I even tell you anything when you won't even do one teeny, tiny favor for me?

Paul: What you want isn't that easy.

Babe: All I want is for you to help me pass this paternity test with flying colors. Get it? Flying?

Paul: You want me to break the law.

Babe: Oh, stop being so dramatic. All I want you to do is get in that whirligig of yours and fly up to Canada and pick up the results.

Paul: And make sure that they prove that J.R.�s the father. Do you have any idea what you're asking me?

Babe: Of course I do. But I didn't even have a choice. My whole life is at stake here. I mean it. If you don't do this favor for me, I could lose J.R. forever, and he's the only man that I�ve ever loved.

Paul: Maybe you should have thought about that before you got yourself into this mess.

Babe: Don't preach at me. Just help me. You and me -- we made some mistakes. But we're good people, Paulie. We deserve to be happy. And we can be with just a little bit of teamwork.

Paul: One night of "teamwork" is what got me here.

Babe: So you're going to hold a grudge forever? I really hate playing hardball. I do, especially since you're such a sweet guy and all. But if I have to -- will everyone just hit the floor when I announce that we're still married and I'm carrying your baby?

Paul: You wouldn't.

Babe: Bye-bye, Aunt Betsy�s inheritance. Bye-bye, J.R. we'll be left with nada. A sad picture, really.

Paul: Damn it, Babe --

Babe: It doesn't even have to happen. I am so sorry that I�m being so snarky, but you're being so darn difficult. Paul, if you would just relax and do things my way, we could both get what we want.

Babe: Both of us have a shot at the lives we've always dreamed of. How can you pass that up? You're more stubborn than I remember.

Paul: Because you don't even know me.

Babe: Don't turn off your cell.

Adam: Babe is some piece of work.

Paul: Mr. Chandler.

Adam: Pretty as they come and as infuriating as she is entertaining. I was on my way to a board meeting, but if you have the time, I'd love to chat.

Paul: No, I've got a chopper to catch. Sorry.

Adam: How's Dorian?

Paul: She's good, I guess.

Adam: You don't look so good. Something bothering you?

Paul: It's just the job. It catches up with you after a while.

Adam: Yeah, so does trouble, particularly of the female persuasion. She worked you over pretty good, didn't she?

Paul: I'll tell my Aunt Dorian you were asking about her.

Adam: I know that you and Babe have a past.

Paul: It was just a toga party.

Adam: Well, Babe�s life is just one great, big toga party, and you were a party favor. I don't blame you for refusing to acknowledge that you were involved.

Paul: It really was just one night, ok?

Adam: Well, that's all it takes with a woman like Babe. She's 100% irresistible trouble. All smiles and curves. What's to think about? By the time the synapses kick in, it's the morning after.

Paul: What's between me and Babe is personal.

Adam: Yes. You're putting up a hell of a fight. I'm impressed.

Paul: Like I said, it's personal.

Adam: Yes, and I respect that. And it's personal for me, too, Paul. That woman is married to my son. Now, I don't know what she wants from you, but what she wants from J.R. are his name and his inheritance, and she'll do anything she can to get it.

Paul: That's none of my business.

Adam: You seem like a decent young man, one who's willing to do the right thing.

Paul: Meaning help you?

Adam: J.R. is blind to Babe�s ways. I can't get through to him, his brother can't get through to him, but I think maybe you can get through to him. I think if you tell him the Babe you know, show him the real Babe, I would be very grateful.

Paul: I can't help you.

Adam: My children mean the world to me. If you could help me, I'm prepared to be very generous.

[Pager beeps]

Paul: I've got to go.

Adam: Um -- my card with all of the numbers. Take your time, think it over. Give me a call.

Greenlee: Well, you've got to check it again. It could be under Hart or Cambias or -- or Hart-Cambias. What do you mean, you don't have time? You've got a hell of a way of running a business --

[Dial tone]

Greenlee: Hello? Miss Philly? Freak. All right, Kendall, one clue. That's all I need to prove to Ryan and everyone else you're delivering nothing but a big, fat lie. Full strength. Hmm. Thought mommies-to-be stuck to decaf. Got to be something -- hmm. Uh-huh.

Greenlee: Still good. Since when do mommies-to-be have Happy Hour? Hmm. I'm close. I know it.

Greenlee: What's this? "Dear Ryan --"

Kendall�s voice: "I've been wrong about so many things, but you most of all. You've done everything to help me, and I've only pushed you away. I never should have doubted you. I should have trusted what we have. I love you, Ryan."

Kendall: Jack, you have to take care of yourself. You can't get on that stand tomorrow and say that you shot Michael.

Erica: No, Jack won't because he didn�t.

Bianca: Uncle Jack, Mom's right. You can't lie.

Jack: That's enough, everybody. Look, not only is the prosecution within hearing distance, we have a hoard of reporters just outside that door. This is not the time or the place for this conversation, ok?

Reggie: Well, look, J, we have to know.

Jack: All you have to do is just trust me, ok? And don't question what I do and don't worry, please.

Erica: Well, you put yourself in the line of fire.

Jack: Actually, what I did was the old bait and switch. Come on, folks, no long faces. We actually are winning this round.

Kendall: Yeah, well, it doesn't feel like it. You could be charged with Michael�s murder.

Ryan: All right, what do you say I take you home.

Kendall: No, I don't want to go yet.

Jack: Go on, Kendall. I'll see you tomorrow.

Kendall: No, Jackson, please, I don't want you to do this.

Jack: It's all right, I promise you.

Ryan: Come on.

Jack: And as for you two, if you would be so kind as to take my lady love back to my place.

Erica: No, I'm not leaving you.

Jack: Yes, you are going to leave me. Listen, I just have to take care of some things. I'll be there, ok? I'll be home.

Erica: Soon?

Jack: Yeah. I'll be right behind you. After all, we have something to celebrate tonight, don't we?

Reggie: Wait, did I hear celebrating? Ok, Kendall�s in the hot seat, and you basically closed the door to your own jail cell. What is there to celebrate?

Jack: Well, I guess you'll just have to wait to find out. Now, go on, get out of here, all of you, please?

Erica: You won't be long?

Jack: No. I'll be there soon.

Bianca: All right, Mom, come on.

Reggie: I'll catch up with you guys later.

Erica: All right.

Bianca: Ok.

Justin: Damn it. Just when I think we got Jack exactly where we want him, throws us a curveball.

Alan: Just wait.

Jack: Reggie, look, I'm just going over to my office to pick up some papers. You can come if you'd like.

Reggie: No, I don't want to go. We have more important things we have to do, like go down to the police station.

Jack: And why would we be going down to the police station?

Reggie: Because, Dad, I got to turn myself in.

Tad: I certainly hope that you are proud of yourself.

Liza: Well, I think it's a good thing I showed up when I did.

Tad: Let me tell you something -- that's a great dress. If this is the part where you're going to start to slam on Krystal, forget about it. I don't want to hear it.

Liza: All I'm saying --

Tad: Zip it.

Liza: I think you already did, Mister.

Tad: Look, I'm not kidding, all right? I'm dead serious. I'm sick and tired of you trying to warn me off of every single woman that I so much as look at.

Liza: I don't think I have to. Krystal and Simone come with their own little warning labels.

Tad: I mean it, Liza! I don't need a mother. I've already got two.

Liza: You think I want to be your mother? I don't want to be your mother.

Tad: Well, sweetheart, you know something? If the apron string fits, then just strap it on.

Liza: Listen, I didn't show up to be your mother. I certainly don't want to wipe your nose.

Tad: Well, you took my candy away.

Liza: Because --

Tad: Because, as my friend, you think you know best, isn't that right?

Liza: Oh, and you've got me all figured out.

Tad: To a T. All right, fine. I'll tell you what. Your life consists of memorizing the "TV Guide," all right? You wash your hair on days that end with a Y, you avoid fat, eat plenty of fiber --

Liza: You know that's not true.

Tad: And you have completely forgotten how to have fun! And now you're determined to make me every bit as boring and pathetic as you are.

Liza: Pathetic?

Tad: Pathetic! Forget it, Liza. I like it in the land of the living. I like having sex, all right? I'm not interested.

Liza: So you think you know everything there is to know about me?

Tad: Backwards and forwards.

Liza: You know, I think you've been living on the planet Tad for a little bit too long because how could you possibly know what I want?

Tad: "Planet Tad"?

Liza: Yeah.

Tad: All right, Liza, I'll bite. What exactly is it that you want?

Liza: I want you.

Reggie: Look, the night of the Cambias hearing, I went, I bought a gun, I went to his condo, and I shot him.

Jack: No, you did not. You did not. You were with Bianca all night.

Reggie: Oh, yeah, I was with her for a while, but then I started to realize it wasn't good enough just to sit around and wait just in case she needed protection. I had to go to the problem and deal with it for good.

Jack: And you're coming up with this confession now? I don't buy it, Reggie.

Reggie: The only reason why I kept quiet is because I figured they couldn't nail Kendall or anybody else. Jack, face it, I did it. Take me in to the cops, please.

Jack: Reggie, you are not capable of committing cold-blooded murder.

Reggie: Oh, I'm not? I pulled the gun on Luis. I was going to shoot him, but somebody came in --

Jack: You never would've pulled that trigger.

Reggie: Oh, so you're calling me a coward?

Jack: No, because you have a heart, Reggie, and you have a soul.

Reggie: Look at my rap sheet. All baby steps leading up to murder. It was bound to happen. That's what the cops are going to say.

Jack: Shh. Listen to me. Look, I know what you're trying to do here. You're trying to protect me, and I love you for that, but you cannot do this, Reggie.

Reggie: And I'm not going to let you go to prison for something you didn't do.

Jack: Your lying is not going to help anybody.

Reggie: Oh, my lying? Oh, so you want me to come clean? Well, you come correct. I want you to admit to me, tell me you did not kill Michael Cambias.

Jack: Listen to me, Reggie. Right now is a very critical time for a lot of people, people that you and I care a great deal about. One wrong move, one misstep, and it could blow up in our faces. You understand what I'm saying? Yes? That's why I need to know that I can count on you.

Reggie: You know you can.

Jack: Good. Then, please, just follow my lead. Let me do what I have to do and leave the questions at the door.

Reggie: But, J, what if something goes wrong?

Jack: Just -- most of all what I need is I need for you to believe in me, no matter how crazy it gets. Can you do that?

Reggie: I don't like it. But for you, I�ll do it.

Bianca: Mom, you've got to relax. I'm sure that Uncle Jack has a stash of your favorite chai tea somewhere here. I'll find --

Erica: I don't want any tea. I just want Jack to take back what he said on the witness stand.

Bianca: Mom, I hate it as much as you do, but I�m sure that Uncle Jack had his reasons for doing what he did.

Erica: But what if he was wrong, ok? What if he went too far? I mean, your Uncle Jack -- he could lose everything. Everything. And it's all a lie. I should know. Uncle Jack didn't do anything wrong. He didn't shoot Michael. He was nowhere near the condo that night when --

Bianca: When what? What, Mom, what?

Erica: Maybe I will have some --

Bianca: No, no, no, no, no, no, you know something, don't you? If you weren't with David the night that Michael disappeared, then where were you?

Greenlee: Great. Nothing but a bottle of cheap wine and a stupid love letter. What a waste.

Kendall: I hate this door.

Ryan: Oh, this is the easy part.

Kendall: Thank God this day is over.

Ryan: What do you mean? You're one step closer to being acquitted, thanks to Erica and Jack.

Kendall: Yeah, Ryan, not like this. I don't want Jack playing kamikaze for me.

Ryan: Hey, hey, he's got to know what he's doing, you know? He's not going to crash and burn.

Ryan: Yeah, well, if Singer has his way, we'll all go down in flames.

Ryan: No, not going to happen. Not going to happen. Erica, Jack, even David -- they're coming through for you. You got way too many people on your side for there to be anything but a happy ending.

Kendall: Yeah, well, I know one person who'd like to see me fry.

Ryan: Kendall, will you stick with happy thoughts, please?

Kendall: Yeah, Ryan, how can I when I know that little twit is determined to screw me over.

Ryan: Oh -- let it go, Kendall. Just let it go. Please let it --

Kendall: Fine, I'll try, but just be ready with bail money because when my trial is over, I'm going to be facing new murder charges once I'm finished with Greenlee.

Ryan: Kendall, will you please let it go? Greenlee is harmless.

Kendall: Since when? She and her posse totally ganged up on me at the courthouse.

Ryan: "Her posse" used to be your friends.

Kendall: Yeah, well, that was before Mia and Simone became Greenlee�s stooges. I swear, Ryan, they were ready to strip-search me.

Ryan: Try and feel the baby?

Kendall: Yeah. No, Greenlee won't stop. She's on a witch hunt.

Greenlee: Bitch hunt's more like it.

Kendall: She's got two modes -- she's attack and destroy. How can I feel safe knowing that she's gunning for me?

Ryan: Well, you're safe here. It's just you and me.

Kendall: Yeah, like I don't have enough going on? The last thing I need is to be in Greenlee�s sights.

Ryan: You're not in Greenlee�s sights. I told you, I had a sit-down with her, all right? She promised me -- she swore that she would play nice from now on.

Kendall: Oh. Ok, so she batted her big, brown eyes and you believed her?

Ryan: You've got to understand where she's coming from, all right, Kendall?

Kendall: Yeah, yeah, that's easy -- hell.

Ryan: She's not in a good place.

Kendall: What, and I am? Ryan, I'm on trial for my life here.

Ryan: Listen -- listen to me. She's messed up, all right? She's messed up over Pablo. Jackson's consumed with your trial, and her mother -- and her mother is like --

Kendall: Oh, wait a minute.

Ryan: She's useless.

Kendall: Hold on, ok, so now I have to deal with Greenlee�s attention issues?

Ryan: It's not about her getting attention. All right, maybe it is a little bit. But the point is that she just needs something to hold on to.

Kendall: Or someone.

Ryan: I'm talking about Fusion, her company. She thinks it's the only thing that she's got left, and she'll do anything to try and get it back.

Kendall: Yeah, she's psycho.

Ryan: She's passionate, Kendall! She's passionate about everything that she does!

Kendall: Oh, did she try to share some of that passion with you?

Ryan: Come on, Kendall. You would fight just as hard for Fusion.

Kendall: Yeah, I would fight, but I wouldn't be as clumsy and juvenile and sloppy and stupid --

Ryan: All right, ok. Ok, I get it, I get it. The point is that she just simply needs something to believe in.

Kendall: Fine. Great. Then let her go back to Pablo. The grand feud is over. Let love reign. If we're lucky, he'll take her back to Argentina and make lots of bambinos.

Ryan: Oh, forget about it. It's not going to happen, all right? The bombs and the bullets might be over, but, you know, he's still dangerous, and she's already been ripped up enough, and I'm not going to let that happen again.

Kendall: Greenlee deserves whatever she gets. Don't you understand that? You want to feel sorry for her, fine. Waste your time, go ahead. But can we just please -- I don't want to talk about her anymore. Please?

Ryan: Hey, you're the one who brought her up. All right, ok. All right, what do you want to talk about? You want to talk about sports?

Kendall: No, I don't want to talk about sports.

Ryan: Golf? You want --

Kendall: Yeah, golf.

Ryan: What do you want to talk about?

Kendall: I want to talk about this.

Ryan: Oh. What's this?

Kendall: This.

Krystal: I ordered some food. You want some?

Babe: No, I'm not hungry. Tell me what you were saying. What happened with Tad?

Krystal: I could barely get a word in edgewise. First that dizzy Simone came in, and then Liza. And those are the ones that use the front door. No telling how many women come in through the window and out through the woodwork. I just -- I just wish he would shake them loose.

Babe: What, now that he's met you?

Krystal: Oh -- mmm -- oh, oh, oh, oh, brain freeze.

Babe: From Tad or the shake?

Krystal: Oh -- oh, honey, you know I don't let a man give me a headache.

Waiter: Here you go.

Krystal: Ooh, thank you.

Babe: Ahem. You got it bad for Tad, don't you?

Krystal: Oh, please. Hardly, baby doll.

Babe: Mama, whenever you order supersize, that means you're frustrated in love.

Krystal: I am nowhere close to in love with Tad Martin. Hey, Guapo, that cheeseburger coming?

Tad: Liza, come on. Be serious. We tried that. I mean, what about our, you know, what-the-hell, no-holds-barred trip to Tahiti? We both slammed on the brakes pretty fast.

Liza: Well, hello. I wasn't ready, and now I am.

Tad: Well, nothing's changed on Planet Tad. I'm not ready to make any promises or guarantees.

Liza: Look at where playing it safe has gotten me. It's gotten me nowhere. I want more. I want a lot more.

Tad: Right now? Is that why you chased Krystal out of here?

Liza: Look, you know what? If she can't stand the heat --

Tad: You're serious. Liza, come on. I don't know what to say.

Liza: You and I -- we -- we do this thing, you know. We walk away, we pretend like it's not there, we try to ignore it. But you and I -- we always end up right here.

Tad: Well, when we do, I mean, alarms go off, you know? Sirens, bells, lights, whistles, the whole thing.

Liza: Yeah, but you like it like that. You like the edge, and so do I, and that's why I know you're not going to say no.

Tad: What has gotten into you?

Liza: You know what? Honestly, I am tired of waiting for you to try to figure it out, so what do you say?

Tad: I say that I don't want to hurt you.

Liza: Oh, come on. Because you're playing the field? I've seen the competition. The designer Girl Scout and the southern-fried cheese? I can deal.

Tad: Have you been drinking?

Liza: I have been sidelined long enough, and you know what? I've told myself to forget about you. I've told myself, "find somebody more suitable, more mature." And I don't want somebody suitable. I want you.

Tad: Was that a shot? That was a shot.

Liza: Listen, you want me to take on Simone? You want me to take on Krystal? I'll do that if that's what you want me to do.

Tad: How do you feel about mud wrestling?

Liza: I think I might like to keep it clean with you.

Bianca: Mom, you're not going to get out of it that easily. Just tell me. Where were you the night Michael Cambias disappeared? Just level with me.

Erica: After the rape hearing, after Michael Cambias was released, I -- I had a posttraumatic stress episode.

Bianca: Mom, why didn't you say something about this?

Erica: I didn't understand it myself. I guess that the horror of everything just -- just triggered some feelings, some memories of my own rape.

Bianca: What happened?

Erica: I wish I knew. But it's just all a fog. I lost time that night. I don't remember everything that I did. Bianca, what is it? Bianca, answer me. What's wrong?

Bianca: I was just thinking about that night. Do you remember, at Michael�s condo, I told you that I had this feeling that I knew something, something that might help Kendall?

Erica: Oh, honey, I wish you wouldn't torment yourself.

Bianca: Well, Mom, as hard as I have tried to remember, it's just been buried so deep that I just couldn't get to it. But just now --

Erica: What happened? What did you remember?

Bianca: Mom, I�m afraid that --

Erica: What, honey? What is it?

Bianca: I just want this whole thing to be over.

Erica: Yes, honey, we all do, and it will be soon.

Jack: Hi, ladies.

Erica: Hi.

Jack: Did we miss anything?

Erica: That's just what I wanted to know from you.

Jack: What?

Erica: Did we miss anything? Did anything happen at the courthouse after we left?

Jack: Oh, no, sweetheart. The court won't reconvene until tomorrow morning, so why don't we concentrate on the important things in life, like our celebration.

Reggie: Ok, celebrating what? Tell us.

Jack: You know, before I do that, we need something to party with. So why don't you guys run across the street to the deli there and get some munchies and something fizzy to drink.

Reggie: Oh, no -- yeah, no problem. Might as well live large, you know?

Jack: Yeah, my feeling exactly. Oh, come here, you.

Erica: Jack --

Jack: I've wanted to do that all day. You know what else I wanted to do? What? What?

Erica: I won't let you sacrifice yourself for me.

Babe: So you really think that that's a good idea?

Krystal: Mixing all this spicy food? Probably not.

Babe: Getting hung up on Jamie�s dad. You know, Tad is totally hot and all, but he wants to shred me.

Krystal: Honey, don't you worry about that, all right? Rule number one -- I never mix business with pleasure. I got my eye set on that prize no matter how much pleasure Tad packs. Trust me -- trust me, all right -- Tad�s going to have his hands so full with me, he's not going to be able to dig into your business.

Babe: You can be pretty distracting.

Krystal: Well, I hope you've been doing some distracting of your own. Did you talk to Paul?

Babe: At the hospital.

Krystal: Well? Is he going to help you with that paternity test?

Babe: I'm working on it. I told him he might be my baby's daddy.

Krystal: You did what?

Babe: I had to, Mama. He was being a jerk, and everything I�d say he'd have an answer for it and it wasn't the one I wanted to hear, so I just lied.

Krystal: And you told him that he might be the daddy?

Babe: Mm-hmm.

Krystal: Well, I hope you shut your mouth after that.

Babe: Almost. I mentioned that I might tell the world about his offspring and that we're still married.

Krystal: You had to hit him with both barrels.

Babe: He was being a jerk. And, besides, if I ever do blab it all, Paul could lose $30 million.

Krystal: That flyboy is worth 30 million bucks?

Babe: But if he doesn't help me, he won't be worth a plug nickel.

Adam: Well, I thought I'd hear from you, but I didn't expect it to be this soon.

Paul: Well, my MedEvac flight to Llanview got postponed. If this is a problem --

Adam: No, no, no, no. Timing couldn't be better. My meeting just ended. I'm all yours.

Paul: Hmm.

Adam: It's a noble profession you've chosen -- helping others. Admirable. But admiration doesn't pay the bills, does it?

Paul: I get by.

Adam: Yes, well, if you choose to help me save J.R. from Babe, I'll see to it that you more than "get by" for the rest of your life. Do you doubt me?

Paul: This whole bribe thing doesn't sit well with me.

Adam: No, this -- don't think of it that way. It's not a bribe. It's a chance for you to secure your future. You're young. You want to get married, have children. You choose to help me, those children will all go to the school of their choice. If you choose -- if you make the right decision -- you will be financially secure for the rest of your life.

Paul: How much financial security are we talking about?

Antonio: Sorry to barge in.

Paul: I'm not sure I can do this.

Adam: Well, think about it. Think about all you can do with that many zeroes.

Paul: But why so much?

Adam: It's the least I can do for the man who's going to save my son from that gold-digging Goldilocks. I'll be in touch.

Babe: So it's a no-brainer, right? Paul whiffs, he gets nothing. He helps me, he gets his millions, and I get to keep the husband that I love.

Krystal: Pure genius, baby doll.

Babe: It's a lot easier than fighting off Tad�s harem.

Krystal: Oh, there's no fighting to that. All I got to do is get him to break a couple of bad habits -- one blonde and one brunette.

Liza: I have to go.

Tad: Now?

Liza: Yeah. But tonight when you're getting ready to go to bed, why don't you think about that kiss and think about what we said and what we could have because it could be good. It could be really good, Tad.

Jack: Come here, you. I love you.

Bianca: All right --

Reggie: Oh, God. Enough of the kissing, please. It's time to party.

Bianca: Yeah. Here, Uncle Jack. Would you do the honors?

Jack: Sure, sure. Grab some glasses up there, Reggie, will you? Watch out. Stand back. Stand back, stand back. You never know with these things. Get some glasses here.

Bianca: Oh.

Jack: For you, my dear.

Erica: Thank you.

Jack: And you.

Bianca: Thank you.

Jack: And you, Reggie. And I'll take mine. Thanks. So --

Bianca: All right, so what are we celebrating?

Jack: Only the greatest news in the world. That the lovely Erica Kane has said yes to being my wife again. So hear, hear, huh?

Bianca: That's fantastic.

Reggie: It is about time.

Jack: And this time we'll actually make it down the aisle, won't we, sweetheart?

Ryan: Well, that sure beats talking about sports. Ok. What's going on in there?

Kendall: It's not fair.

Ryan: I'm afraid to ask, but what's not fair?

Kendall: You. Just you've done so much for me. You've stood by me through the trial. You gave up the entire Cambias fortune. And, Ryan, when all of this is over, if I�m acquitted --

Ryan: And you will be.

Kendall: I'll get everything, once we prove I'm having Michael�s child, and you'll get nothing.

Ryan: I can live with that.

Kendall: Yeah, but why should you?

Ryan: I'll live on love.

Kendall: That's very romantic, but isn't winning a lot more fun?

Ryan: Yes.

Kendall: Yes. Well, I know a way we can both win.

Ryan: Does it involve breaking any laws?

Kendall: No. No, no, no. It would involve seeing a judge once the trial is over.

Ryan: Haven't you seen enough of little men and women in black robes already?

Kendall: Depends on the circumstances.