All My Children Transcript Thursday 1/15/04

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

TV Announcer: A 9-year-old metro girl has a new lease on life thanks to surgery at the hospital for sick children. Tracy Hooper was given the liver of --

Babe: Mama, are you sure Tad's going to be ok?

Krystal: I'm dead sure, honey. He'll come to soon enough. And don't you fret, Mama's got a plan. Hmm. Finally the TV news is good for something other than just cutting in on my favorite programs.

[Turns TV off]

Babe: Wait, I don't get it. Why am I excited again? Yeah, Kendall Hart's pregnant and she needs a paternity test, too. So what? What, misery loves company? We're supposed to form a club or something?

Krystal: Honey, thanks to Kendall, we can prove right now that J.R. baked that bun in your oven. Honey, if we don't do that, then Adam is going to snatch that sweet baby before the doctor can grab him by the heels. He's going to end-run us with his own DNA test.

[Mary prepares the perfect martini and serves it to Adam]

Adam: Ah. You finally mastered it.

Mary: Good. And as my reward, tell me the latest on Babe and J.R. Now, I know the atmosphere has been strained but not enough to get rid of Baby Mae and Krystal Yokum. So tell me what I can do to make them more miserable.

[Door slams]

Adam: Something wrong?

Mary: It's not your brother again?

J.R.: How could it be? I don't even have a brother. Any news on the Cambias murder case?

Mary: The trial is starting tomorrow, isn't it?

Adam: That's not our problem.

J.R.: No? If Kendall walks, are you sure that you're not the next suspect on the list?

[Doorbell rings]

Erica: Reggie. What's up?

Reggie: "Wassup." "Wass--"

Erica: I'll work on it.

Reggie: Ok.

Erica: Yeah.

Reggie: I'm looking for Jack. Is he around?

Erica: Well, why don't you sit down and I'll get you a soda, and we can talk about whatever you want to.

Reggie: Bossy lately, huh, Ms. Kane?

Erica: Yeah, well, if you were really looking for Jackson, you would have called before you came over.

Reggie: Damn. You're good.

Erica: Yeah, well, I'm Erica Kane. So, what's on your mind?

Reggie: Actually, it's Bianca. I mean, every time I think about what Cambias did to her, it just makes me sick.

Erica: Yeah, I know exactly how you feel.

Reggie: And nobody should go down for icing that pervert. So the thing is, how do you make sure whoever did it gets off?

Bianca: How could you think that I'd keep Michael's baby?

Jack: Well, Bianca, I must be honest with you. The evidence is all circumstantial, but, you know, your mother is quite certain that you're keeping something from her. You do seem to be very, very guarded all the time, and I believe I walked in on you and David Hayward talking about something pretty secret. Add to that the fact that while most people would expect you and Kendall to have drifted apart, instead you seem to have formed some kind of an alliance, and now Kendall has come up with this noninvasive DNA test in which all she has to do is hand a doctor a vial of blood, and they can screen for Michael's cells.

Bianca: She didn't just hand her blood to any doctor off the street.

Jack: No, I'm sure that doctor was very carefully selected, wasn't she?

Bianca: There were witnesses.

Jack: Yes -- you, David Hayward. There is one other piece of rather damning circumstantial evidence, honey. You've put on some weight, and given the trauma that you've been through with your history of eating disorder, that is exactly the opposite of what anyone would expect to happen. Please tell me. Be honest with me. You didn't terminate your pregnancy, did you? You're still carrying Michael's child.

Kendall: Bianca!

Greenlee: Romance, low lighting, a lower whisper, a crackling fire, smoldering look. The look. Well?

Ryan: Too passive for me.

Greenlee: It's supposed to be the female take on seduction. What am I missing?

Ryan: Action.

Greenlee: Touch.

Ryan: Taste.

Greenlee: Caress.

Ryan: Kiss.

Greenlee: Hold.

Ryan: Ignite.

Greenlee: Consume.

Ryan: Succumb.

Adam: The police have a lengthy list of more viable suspects. They won't be knocking on my door anytime soon.

[Doorbell rings]

J.R.: Well, well, well. Maybe that's the cops now.

Mary: Or not.

Winifred: Come in.

Opal: Thank you.

Winifred: Want me to take your coat?

Opal: All righty.

Mary: The Macbeth sisters -- double, double, toil, and trouble.

Opal: Well, you're sure looking spiffy tonight, Winnie.

Adam: Well, this is a very pleasant surprise.

Opal: Yeah.

Adam: To what do we owe the honor?

Opal: No, that's to "who."

Mary: To "whom." It's -- never mind. What happened to you, Opal? Too much arm-wrestling?

Opal: An encounter between my new roadster and the thingy, but it's all Palmer's fault.

Mary: Don't tell me he was trying to run you out of town.

Opal: Have you already forgotten what happened last time you ran your mouth off around me, missy? You know, this thing could be lethal.

Marian: Where's Babe? She has invited us to dinner.

Adam: She has?

Marian: Mm-hmm.

Adam: Did she think to mention it to the cook?

Liza: We're not too demanding.

Opal: No, we can scare up something.

Mary: Eye of newt, toe of frog, pork rinds --

Opal: Have you ever thought of trying to do something useful, missy? You know, like learn to carve ice sculpture. Anything to just earn your own way for a change?

Adam: Did Babe mention this to you?

J.R.: No. I don't even know if she's home.

Opal: Well, no matter if she's home or not, I can keep us occupied till she gets back. I brought my tarot. Anybody for a reading? Come on, sit over here next to me.

[Doorbell rings]

Mary: Can you tell us who's at the door, Opal?

Adam: With Babe doing the inviting, I'd guess the Seventh Fleet.

Winifred: My goodness, Mr. Cortlandt. What happened to you?

Palmer: That inept Harridan ran us into a wall.

Opal: Well, you got me so rattled with all your back-seat driving. Here, let me help you.

Palmer: Stand back, stand back. You are a menace no matter what vehicle you're operating.

Opal: You know, I'm going to roll you straight into kingdom come if you don't stop snarking. What are you doing here anyway? You weren't invited. I'm sure Babe didn't have you on the guest list.

Palmer: No, she didn't. I dropped by hoping to catch Krystal.

Mary: "Catch"? My, my.

Opal: Are you after Babe's mama?

Krystal: So we just have to head Adam off before he orders his own DNA test.

Babe: Well, what if he does? This still could be J.R.'s baby.

Krystal: What are the chances of that?

Babe: It's not a sure thing.

Krystal: Honey, come on, now don't be so glum. Who is sitting here next to the daughter she loves more than anything in the whole world?

Babe: You are.

Krystal: And what's our deep and personal truth?

Babe: That we deserve the best and together we can always get it.

Krystal: Honey, listen, we are just taking the lead set by that judge and Kendall. We're going to take the initiative. We're going to get that blood test that proves that J.R. is the daddy, and nobody's going to stick my grandbaby with any needles.

Babe: You don't care whose baby it is, do you, Mama?

Krystal: It's your baby and it's my baby and whatever nice young man you cared for enough to love. Come here.

Babe: Oh, Mama.

Krystal: Which, according to that certificate, will just so happen to be J.R.

Babe: And I think I got just the man to help us.

Krystal: Of course you do. And when all of this is taken care of, we are going to express our thanks to Kendall by taking her out to a fancy all-she-can-eat surf-and-turf dinner.

Kendall: What the hell are you doing? Bianca's not pregnant. How sick are you? She would never even think about keeping Michael's child.

Bianca: Kendall, it's ok.

Kendall: No, Bianca, don't.

Bianca: You're right. I am having Michael's baby, and I'm keeping it.

Greenlee: More.

Ryan: You don't need more. That sounded pretty good.

Greenlee: You really think it'll move product?

Ryan: Oh, I think it would move granite, but I'm not your market.

Greenlee: Well, ultimately, you're the target -- men like you. So, tell me what's sensuous to you.

Ryan: It's -- it's -- it's getting late. It's -- it's definitely late.

Greenlee: Ok. I can take a hint.

Ryan: Yeah. What the hell are you doing?

Greenlee: Getting ready to spend the night.

Erica: What happens to the killer is up to the judge and jury.

Reggie: Well, you know, sometimes the system ignores stuff like how Cambias got what he deserved.

Erica: Well, I'm sure that if Kendall is convicted, her attorneys will just do everything they possibly can.

Reggie: Kendall and me were close to becoming brother and sister. That means a lot to me.

Erica: But, Reggie, you can't feel responsible.

Reggie: Erica, my mother broke up my family for good, all right? You guys are all I have left.

Erica: Are you in touch with your sisters?

Reggie: Their foster parents, you know, think me being adopted by Jackson and all is like permanent house arrest.

Erica: Well, that's ridiculous. I mean, you're a fine young man.

Reggie: Erica, I'm a screwup with a rap sheet. I know myself, all right? I've done plenty that you don't know about.

Erica: Well, you have no idea about all the mistakes I made, either. I mean, I'd match my rap sheet with yours any day.

Reggie: Oh, so you did time, too?

Erica: Just thank God that I didn't stay in prison long.

Reggie: Well, Kendall's looking at life unless they cut her a break. Then, you know, she might get out on 30 years or so.

Erica: Oh, I don't want Kendall to spend one single night in prison for killing that animal.

Reggie: Kendall didn't murder him!

Bianca: I thought that it was the only way to go. I would cut myself off from everyone until I could come back with the baby, pretending that I had adopted it. You're disappointed.

Jack: I'm disappointed that you didn't feel you could come to me sooner with this. I love you, Bianca, and I would back any decision you made. Come here.

Bianca: I hated lying to everyone.

Jack: I know.

Bianca: But I had to. There was too much riding on it this time.

Jack: And you weren't alone, were you?

Kendall: Yeah, well, I helped Bianca, but it wasn't totally for unselfish reasons.

Bianca: Kendall made incredible sacrifices for me. I know that I couldn't have survived this without her.

Jack: Well, then I owe you my thanks.

Bianca: You're probably wondering how the two of us got together on this.

Jack: No, no, no, no, please, I don't want to hear anything. Not another word about Kendall, ok? Not another word.

Kendall: No, I thought you understood.

Jack: You just -- Kendall, shut up! You say the wrong word, I'm going to have to put you away for murder.

Krystal: So we'll just get some medico to draw your blood.

Babe: I'll just get Paul Cramer to help.

[Knock on door]

Krystal: See, I told you he'd be ok.

Tad: How dare you hit me! Come on, Krystal, this isn't funny. It's dark in here. Open the damn door.

Krystal: You're damn right it's not funny! I thought you were a man with a conscience. Shame on you!

Tad: Hey, how do you know I'm not bleeding --

Krystal: Oh --

Tad: That I don't need some kind of ambulance?

Krystal: Oh, come on, now. That dinky vase didn't bust your tough hide. I checked. And your time-out isn't over yet. You're going to have to stay in there a good long time.

Tad: Krystal? Hello?

[Thump]

Tad: Ah -- son of a -- beautiful, sexy, and psychotic. I can really pick them.

Krystal: One day he'll thank me for teaching him a valuable lesson.

Babe: You really like him, don't you?

Krystal: Well, what's not to like? But just because a fella's good looks set parts of us to humming does not mean we --

Krystal and Babe: Check our brains at the door.

Babe: Yeah. Forgot that one with Jamie, huh?

Krystal: Well, everybody makes mistakes. But you and me -- we learn from them. So you think that Paul Cramer is going to fool with the paternity test results?

Babe: Well, I don't know. He wasn't into cooperating before, but I'm pretty sure I can turn him around.

Krystal: That's the spirit. The man has not been born that can resist my baby doll.

[Knock on door]

Krystal: Oh. Shh, shh, shh, shh. What took you so long?

Mary: Oh! Oh, my God! Adam! Adam!

Krystal: I'm sorry. I thought you were somebody else. I'm so sorry.

Mary: They're downstairs.

Babe: Who?

Mary: The people you invited over for dinner.

Babe: Oh, God, I forgot. My dinner party.

Krystal: Well, hey, I'm in the mood for a party. Let's go. Come on. Let's go. Hey, Mary, don't hang back. We can use you for the piñata.

Marian: Isn't Tad Krystal's catch of the day?

Liza: Tad might be interested in Krystal, but he's not serious about her.

Adam: I'm going to invite Babe's guests out of my house.

J.R.: This is my wife's home, too, unless you want us to move out.

Adam: I simply want some peace and quiet, J.R.

J.R.: It's a big house. Find a place you won't be bothered.

Adam: Hey --

Palmer: Will you stop trying to drive your son away?

Adam: I don't need any parenting advice from you. I don't need any advice about anything from you. Only you would be dense enough to fall for Krystal Carey.

Palmer: Well, she's a lovely woman.

Adam: She's a gold-digging predator.

Palmer: Speaking of which, what happened to Mary?

Opal: Oh! Tad!

Liza: Tad?

Marian: Well, you certainly know how to make an entrance.

Adam: Why the hell can't you stay out of my walls?

Tad: Krystal --

Opal: Krystal? Krystal? What did she --

Tad: Krystal locked me in there. Ow.

Adam: There's your competition, Palmer. Have fun.

Krystal: Well, shoot. Y'all started the party without us.

J.R.: Hi.

Krystal: Hey.

Opal: Tad, here, what is --

Tad: Mom, stop! It's fine.

Krystal: Y'all have anything post-Lawrence Welk or Guy Lombardo here?

Babe: Y'all, I am so sorry. Tonight just totally slipped my mind.

Liza: Well, why don't we postpone?

Babe: No, no, really, you guys can get to know my mom while I'm cooking.

Opal: The only thing I want to know is why she locked my boy in the tunnel.

Krystal: To teach him a lesson. He was giving Babe a hard time.

J.R.: What did you do to Babe?

Tad: Nothing, nothing. I was trying to talk with her. And Jamie didn't send me, so please don't make it any worse than it is.

Mary: Oh, Winifred, could you please ask Lucretia to whip up some nibbles without resorting to cheese in a can?

Winifred: Yes, ma'am.

Babe: Chips and dip. I don't care what kind.

Winifred: Miss, she'll shoot me.

Babe: It's a craving. What can I say? One of pregnancy's perks.

Tad: So -- smacked by your daughter, mugged by you, locked inside a wall. What do you do for an encore?

Krystal: Well, look on the bright side. I could have stripped you buck-naked. That would've sure made some great entrance, wouldn't it, girls?

Opal: Looky here -- the man hanging upside down from a tree. That's your future, you wizened old bantam rooster.

Liza: Do you think you might be able to disconnect your eyes for two seconds?

Tad: I'm not staring at her.

Liza: Oh, please. What's going on with the two of you?

Tad: Nothing's going on between the two of us, other than the fact that she got ahold of Babe's secret. So now I need to get ahold of it, too.

Liza: You know, Simone and Brooke told me you were trying to get some secret out of her.

Tad: And you don't believe it, right?

Liza: You know what, I think it's like Babe says -- "it's a 'loada-crocka.'"

Tad: You know something? Just because she's attractive and free-spirited doesn't mean every guy in the planet's attracted to her.

Marian: Well, could he be more obvious?

Palmer: You are a delight.

Krystal: Well, finally, a man who appreciates what I have to offer.

Marian: She's even more brazen than I was at her age, and that's going some.

Liza: Tad's such an idiot.

Marian: Liza, stop pretending you don't care. You could take her. Together, we could decimate her.

Palmer: The girl says, "Honey, my intentions are strictly dishonorable."

Krystal: Oh --

Tad: It's almost funny. Excuse us, would you?

Krystal: You hold that thought, ok?

Palmer: Mmm, yes.

Tad: Come here.

Krystal: Hey. How's your lump?

Tad: Never mind my lump. I'll live.

Krystal: Well, I didn't try to kill you.

Tad: Just be forewarned, ok? Payback is a bitch.

Krystal: Well, don't expect me to pump you for your game plan. I like to be surprised.

Tad: Oh, whether or not you pump me, you won't be disappointed.

Krystal: No, I didn't expect I would be.

Babe: Nobody'd miss us if we ducked upstairs for a minute. Please?

J.R.: Come on.

Ryan: I didn't ask you to spend the night.

Greenlee: You said I could stay.

Ryan: Yeah, for a few hours. I'm really not in the mood for a roommate.

Greenlee: Well, neither am I, but I know what I'll do if I leave here. I'm going to go try and find Pablo. Would that be smart? No.

Ryan: Well, then, you know, don't do it.

Greenlee: I won't be able to resist. Save me from myself.

Ryan: You aren't kidding.

Greenlee: I tried to distract myself with work, but the ad campaign's too sexy. It just made me more restless. Please, you have to help me, Ryan. Just for tonight.

Ryan: Ok. I will keep you company.

Greenlee: Thank you.

Ryan: I will save you from yourself, but not here.

Simone: So Greenlee is really after Ryan for real? It's not, like, you know, this Fusion/Kendall backlash?

Mia: Not anymore, uh-uh. She wants him big-time.

Simone: Wait, wait, wait, you know what? How come I didn't get, like, my invitation for the New Year's bash at the lodge?

Mia: Oh, I'm sorry. Your bullet-riddled invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.

Simone: No, I know about that. But I'm just saying that if Tad and I were up there and not at the Valley Inn, I would have been overrun with this Krystal angst.

Mia: You know, you're hopeless. You do know that, don't you?

Simone: Well, and did he ever prove me wrong.

Mia: Well, so a good time was had by all. I tell you what, next year I'll find out early where the massacre is going on so we can all share in the fun.

Simone: It was terrifying and awful. And poor Edmund --

Mia: Yeah. Tell me about it. So far, 2004 has turned out to be pretty unforgettable. And tomorrow is Kendall's trial.

Simone: Which reminds me -- if anyone asks, I was with you that night that Michael was killed. You know what? We should get those cheese fries.

Mia: You weren't at my place.

Simone: Shh -- just keep it down.

Mia: Why should I tell anybody that you were at my place?

Simone: I'm just saying -- they probably won't even ask, but I mentioned that I was with you that night, all night, so back me up.

Mia: I'm your alibi? You needed an alibi for the night that Michael was murdered?

Simone: Me? An alibi? Please. You're blowing this so out of proportion.

Erica: Reggie, how do you know that Kendall didn't kill Michael Cambias?

Reggie: Um -- well, you know, it just doesn't make sense. You know, I'm picking up a lot of stuff hanging out with Jackson about this whole legal investigation thing. Somebody has to be hanging back and just letting Kendall take the fall.

Erica: Well, I really hope that they slip up really soon, you know, for Kendall's sake.

Reggie: Yeah, or maybe they'll just confess.

Erica: Hey, did you put your bike in the garage? Because they lock it up at night. I'm going to have to buzz you through.

Reggie: No relax. I got till 3:00. Well, you know, they don't lock it up till 3:00 a.m.

Erica: How do you know that? Why would you know that?

Jack: If you two tell me that you're about to dupe a judge and a jury, I have to report that. Ah, now you have to see why I don't want to hear anything about Kendall that might be misconstrued as incriminating later.

Kendall: Ok, all right, I'm sorry I freaked out. If you want me to go, I'll leave.

Jack: No, no, no, no, no. Look, the three of us are standing around here, we're talking about Bianca's baby, you're Bianca's sister. You're welcome, ok?

Bianca: Well, where do we start?

Jack: Well, like it or not, we start by telling Erica.

Kendall: Oh. No, she's going to go ballistic when she finds out.

Bianca: Yeah, she will, but I do have to tell her, and soon.

Kendall: No, no. No, Bianca, no, you can't do that. That's crazy. You're going to leave soon, remember?

Bianca: No, I'm not. I changed my plans.

Kendall: Well, no. No, you can't do that. You have to leave Pine Valley fast so that people don't find out, so that your baby can have a shot at a normal life.

Bianca: I'm not going to leave you to stand trial alone.

Kendall: I'm not going to be alone, ok? Look, I'm going to have Jack. I'll have tons of people.

Bianca: Kendall, save your breath. You're not going to change my mind.

Jack: So, let's go tell Erica right now.

Bianca: You heard how Mom feels about Michael Cambias' baby.

Kendall: What, Erica gave you an earful? Well, that must have been pleasant.

Jack: Well, Erica's upset because she sees Kendall's pregnancy as a -- a betrayal of you, Bianca. But your pregnancy -- that's something totally different.

Bianca: She'll see it as 10 times worse.

Jack: Listen to me -- Kendall willingly conceived a child. You --

Bianca: Exactly. I'm replaying Mom's life.

Kendall: When Erica finds out Bianca's having another me, she's going to have a complete and total meltdown.

Erica: You were never out that late when you and Jack stayed here. I mean, the night Michael Cambias was murdered, you slept here to guard Bianca to keep her company. Reggie, did you sneak out?

Reggie: I knew I couldn't keep it a secret forever.

Erica: Reggie, no. You didn't.

Reggie: Truth is I'm not always where Jackson thinks I am. Curfew-breaking is, you know, pretty high on my rap sheet. One night I snuck out to go chill with Joni.

Erica: The night that Michael Cambias was murdered?

Reggie: No. Erica, no. Please, my biggest crime was making out with Joni when everyone thought I was sleeping.

Erica: You're sure about that?

Reggie: Yeah. Could I lie to you?

Erica: Definitely.

Mia: You spent part of that night with Carlos, didn't you?

Simone: Yes. So will you help me out?

Mia: And then you went home.

Simone: Yes, exactly. Ok? Look, it's no big deal, all right? Nobody's going to come snooping around anyways, and I am starved. Brian -- yo, dude! The chili fries, right? What, are you growing the potatoes? Hey, look who's here. Hey, guys. How's it going? Look at you, the two of you.

Ryan: Hi, you two. What's going on?

Simone: Oh, why don't you tell us. What a new year.

Maria Chambers: Mrs. Cambias, Judge Lambert has overturned the court order for amniocentesis because of the risk it posed to you and your unborn child, but she did agree to another kind of paternity test. Can you tell us about that?

Kendall: Sure. This new test requires only a blood sample from me. The test will detect cells from my baby in my blood that will match my late husband's DNA and prove once and for all that I am carrying his child.

Jack: Look, Erica has to be told.

Bianca: And I will tell her. But not tonight.

Jack: Putting it off is only going to make matters worse.

Bianca: You know what? Mom may not show it, but she's incredibly worried about Kendall's trial. We've all got more than enough to deal with right now. I'm going to wait until after this is over and you're acquitted.

Kendall: From your lips --

Jack: The longer you wait, the bigger the betrayal is going to seem to Erica, you know that.

Kendall: What betrayal?

Jack: From Erica's point of view --

Kendall: Oh, right. Everything's a betrayal or a slight. You know, Bianca has enough stress. Can we back off of her just a little bit?

Jack: Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't want to make this any harder for anybody than it already is. You know that. All I'm saying is that Erica and I seem to be back on track, and I truly believe she can handle this.

Kendall: Oh, and you're afraid if Bianca waits it'll ruin your love life?

Bianca: Kendall, that's not it. I know that this means you're going to have to keep secrets from Mom. But please, Uncle Jack -- please do this my way.

Simone: Wow, I cannot believe that Kendall is going to be hot for that DNA test.

Greenlee: She's bluffing. Her pregnancy's a fake.

Ryan: She seemed pretty confident.

Greenlee: There's not going to be any test. Kendall will back out. Ryan, call Alexander Cambias' attorney. Make sure they don't turn a penny over to Kendall until the results are in.

Simone: Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa -- Ryan is not going to serve up Fusion on a silver platter.

Greenlee: Unless it's served with Chandler Enterprises and Enchantment.

Simone: Ryan, you didn't -- you sold us out?

Ryan: I'm not going to discuss Kendall, business, or the Cambias estate.

Simone: Fusion is our life!

Ryan: Well, that's kind of sad, isn't it?

Simone: Yes!

Greenlee: Let's get a table.

Ryan: Well, hold on, hold on, wait, you guys. Greenlee needs a favor, all right? I want you to keep her with you. Keep her away from Pablo, you understand?

Greenlee: Ryan, don't leave.

Ryan: No, no, no, it's all right. You're in good hands. I'll see you later.

Mia: Sorry about that.

Simone: Yeah, me, too.

Greenlee: It's not your fault. It's Kendall's. Oh, I'd like to wring that girl's scrawny little neck. I mean, how does she expect to pull this test off? What, did she get a chunk of Michael's frozen body and she's going to sprinkle it on her DNA sample? How does that bitch expect to pull this off?

Bianca: So, Uncle Jack, what are you going to do?

Jack: The secret is not mine to tell. It's yours.

Bianca: Oh. Thank you.

Jack: Hey, may I?

Bianca: Oh, yes.

Jack: So what do you think that is, a great-niece or a great-nephew, huh? Travis would be proud of you. Oh, he'd be worried, but he'd be proud.

Kendall: We're all proud of her.

Bianca: Are you trying to make me cry?

Jack: Listen, we all have a very big day tomorrow. Kendall, try to get some sleep.

Kendall: Yeah, I'll try.

Kendall: Ok, please, please tell me he can keep a secret this big from Erica.

Bianca: Oh, come on. The way that he was tiptoeing around asking you about your pregnancy? You know you can trust him.

Kendall: I do, I do. But I don't know, I mean, sometimes people slip up. How do I know that Jack doesn't talk in his sleep?

Bianca: We don't have to worry where Uncle Jack is concerned. Now if everything else would just fall into place --

Kendall: Oh, it has, it has. The DNA test has. That's why I'm here. The judge OK'd the blood test.

Bianca: That's great! They have to accept that you're carrying Michael's baby once they test my blood.

Kendall: Yeah, but I don't know, I still have this nagging feeling about Dr. Lossin.

Bianca: Oh, no, you don't have to. I had a long conversation with Dr. Lossin. She is totally on our side. There's no way that Ryan is using her to mess things up for you. You can trust him, Kendall. Ryan's a good guy.

J.R.: I'm not going to cave on the DNA test.

Babe: Did I ask you to?

J.R.: Why'd you bring me up here?

Babe: To get us back to where we were before.

J.R.: Before the lies? Before the lies, you never met Jamie. You slept with him. I'm the father of the baby. But it turns out you lied about how pregnant you were, so Jamie might actually be the father after all. So the DNA test will tell the truth.

Babe: Why would I still be here if this weren't your baby?

J.R.: Hmm -- because a mansion beats the hell out of a one-bedroom apartment? Limitless credit cards are better than shopping at yard sales?

Babe: For your information, I like yard sales. God. Bianca was right.

J.R.: Bianca? About me?

Babe: She said about how you and Bianca -- you guys have these uber-parents and how that can really mess you up.

J.R.: I can handle being Adam's son.

Babe: But you'll never know if somebody likes you for you or if they're after your parents or their money and stuff, and you're always wondering if you can measure up.

J.R.: So Bianca shrunk me for you? Well, if it makes you more comfortable to believe all that, good.

Babe: I just want you to know that I love you for you, not for this museum that your dad lives in or his pile of money. I would choose you over money anytime. I'm yours. I'm with you.

J.R.: I still want that paternity test.

Babe: And you'll get it. And you'll have the proof that this is our baby, yours and mine.

Opal: Well, the cards are nice and warm. Who wants to be next?

Liza: Well, I'm game.

Opal: Yeah, Krystal, why don't you come over here? I think these cards got your name on them.

Krystal: Well, why not? I like living dangerously.

Opal: Hmm.

Krystal: So, do I --

Opal: Just shuffle them a little, yeah.

Marian: Darling, Tad's over there standing all alone.

Liza: Yeah, Mary's circling like a shark.

Marian: I'll distract her. Go over and say hello to him.

Liza: Mother, this is not a school dance. I'm not a wallflower.

Marian: You keep up this denial, Liza, and that's exactly what you're going to become.

Opal: Well, you've got your basic death and destruction staring right up into your face. Now, I don't know, but if I was you -- and I thank the fates that I'm not -- I would head for the hills.

Palmer: Fortunetelling is a scam.

Opal: Well, you had better pray that he's right because according to these cards, you got nothing to look forward to in this house except misery and scorn.

Palmer: Krystal, Krystal, if you run into any disasters, you can call on me.

Tad: Oh, sure. He'll ride to the rescue on his trusty dinosaur, Rex.

Krystal: Hey. So where'd you two disappear to?

J.R.: Liza, could I borrow you for a minute? Some business stuff.

Liza: Oh, sure. Why not?

[Doorbell rings]

Krystal: I'll get that. You get the door.

Adam: What could make this evening even more unpleasant?

Krystal: Hey, hey -- what went on up there?

Babe: I've got to get this blood test fast before things get worse.

Winifred: Excuse me, Mr. Chandler, these officers are --

Adam: This is harassment. I have cooperated. Chief Frye knows everything that I know about the Cambias murder, and I'm not going to answer to any more damn questions!

Sean: That's fine with me, Mr. Chandler. We're here to make an arrest.

Opal: Cards never lie. You'll feel so confident underneath it all.

Reggie: Oh, man, I got to buy me a fondue pot. I bet you girls love this type of stuff.

Erica: Oh, this one certainly does. Oh, next time we'll have cheese fondue.

Reggie: I think I'll just stick to the chocolate.

Jack: Hey, Reggie, what's up?

Reggie: What's --

Erica: Wassup. How'd I do?

Reggie: Not bad. Man, look, jump in. The fondue's great.

Jack: Why don't you just stick around and join us.

Reggie: Well, you know, she's got the pot already and stuff, and I was just saving your place, so I'm going to leave.

Jack: Ok.

Erica: Bye, Reggie. Ride carefully.

Reggie: I will.

Erica: Hey, don't look so serious. Have a strawberry. Oh, Jack, my afternoon with Bianca today -- it was absolutely healing. I mean, we just -- we talked everything out, and, I mean, I actually helped her assemble a rocking chair. Can you believe that?

Jack: No, no, actually, I can't.

Erica: Oh, really, Jack, Bianca is in such a good place now. I mean, just -- we're closer than ever, you know, now that -- now that we've gotten everything out in the open.

Bianca: My grandmother called us a legacy -- my mom, Kendall, and me. Three generations of strong Kane women. God, I hope we're all strong enough.

Simone: Well, one thing's for sure -- Kendall cannot fake this fetal cell test.

Greenlee: If Kendall's pregnant with Michael's baby, I will cut the umbilical cord myself.

Simone: So Ryan's really through with her?

Greenlee: Yeah, absolutely. It's over. Excuse me, but who was in Ryan's bed at the ski lodge? Me, not Kendall. Forget it. This is so Junior High.

Simone: So you really -- you really like Ryan? You're really into him apart from, you know, the Fusion battle?

Greenlee: I care about Ryan, and I certainly care about keeping him out of Kendall's clutches.

Mia: Um -- isn't that sort of up to him?

Greenlee: When I prove she's lying about her pregnancy just to get the Cambias fortune, he'll drop her like a hot martini.

Kendall: I've been so wrong, Ryan. So let me make it right.

J.R.: I knew Kendall didn't off Cambias.

Mary: You can't possibly believe that Adam Chandler murdered that man.

Sean: Excuse me, we're not arresting anyone for murder.

Opal: Well, then what kind of a mess has Adam got himself into this time?

Sean: Actually, we're here for Adam Chandler Jr.

Babe: My husband didn't do anything.

Adam: What's the charge?

Sean: Assault.

Babe: You beat up Jamie?

David: No, he did not. If you're all wondering who the innocent victim is, that would be me.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

David: You want to keep your son out of the slammer, you'll negotiate and quickly.

Erica: You know something about my daughter, don't you?

Kendall: I will prove to you that I trust you.

Ryan: You'll have to pass my test first.

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