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Smallville Transcripts

"Idol"

Clark: I wish we had more time.

Lois: [ Sighs ]

[ Keyboard clacks ]

Clark: Ohh. Earth to Lois. It's like you've been on another planet for the last 15 minutes.

Lois: [ Scoffs ] Easy, Armstrong. This space case is buried in research. I've got like two weeks' worth of work to catch up on.

Clark: It was sort of a last-minute vacation, wasn't it?

Lois: Yeah, well, I've got a pretty tightly wound bolt reflex.

Clark: Is this about what happened? Are you turning red?

Lois: Believe it or not, my eject-seat malfunction... wasn't totally about you.

Clark: We should talk about it.

Lois: When I want to talk about it, I'll send up a smoke signal.

Man: Excuse me? Can you help me? I need a signature. I got a delivery out back, and nobody's in yet.

Lois: Ho-ho-ho, Merry Christmas to me.

Clark: Want me to help you with this?

Lois: No. Did I ever tell you that before Christmas, I used to unwrap all my presents and then re-wrap them while my parents were still sleeping?

Clark: You know, Lois, that doesn't surprise me at all. ,

Men: [ Muffled grunting ]

Lois: [ Gasps ] Just what I've always wanted.

Clark: Is that...

Lois: I don't think it's powdered sugar, Smallville. Lois Lane, Daily Planet. Care to comment on at illegal activities you've been up to that got you trussed up like a turkey?

Man: [ Groans ]

Other Man: I'm a cop! We're all undercover cops! Our sting went south.

Clark: Someone must have thought you were the real dealers.

Lois: Who could be responsible for such a superscrew-up?

Man: Whoa!

Woman: There's something on the building.

[ Tires screeching ]

[ Indistinct talking ]

Lois: Now, that's what I call a scoop.

Clark: There's no way the botched save is the work of The Blur. It's not his M.O.

Lois: I'll admit sugar-coating isn't exactly his style, but the 20-story calling card was unmistakable. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm beginning to lose faith in our resident hero.

Editor: You're breaking my heart, Lane. I need a feature on The Blur's questionable tactics by the end of the day.

Clark: You don't really think this is big news, do you?

Editor: Turns out Adrian Pope, the organized crime boss, is still on the street because of The Blur's blunder. The D.A.'s out for blood.

Lois: When is the D.A. not out for blood? He's just trying to cover up his dirty connections. Listen, I am not your Blur girl on this one.

Editor: Just run with it.

Clark: Listen, just see this as an opportunity to investigate both sides of the story.

Lois: Well, that would require a certain supersomeone to actually find five minutes to give me a call.

Clark: What's with the disguise?

Lois: All my flannel's at the dry cleaner's. Go figure.

Clark: Lois --

Lois: Ah. Leave it alone, Inspector Gadget. I have a top-secret interview I'm doing for an exposé on the hush-hush. So don't follow me.

Lois: Could you lose the notebook? I'd prefer that all our meetings remain off-the-record.

Dr. Evans: Whatever makes you feel more comfortable, Lois.

Lois: [ Sighs, clears throat ]

Dr. Evans: Why don't you start by describing these dreams you've been having?

Lois: Okay, well, they're as real as you and me right now. More real, actually. And despite some flashes of some serious NC-17 violence, really, the situation involves clothes... coming off -- you know, naked. Skin, skin on skin, just -- [ Clears throat ] Lots of skin.

Dr. Evans: So, it's a sex dream? With the co-worker you mentioned before? Clark Kent?

Lois: What is this, "Nightline"? All right, yes, I'm doing the virtual "Kama Sutra" with Clark Kent. My desk is soft-core central.

Dr. Evans: Listen, Lois. You came to me to explore the deeper meaning within these vivid dreams that you've been having. And all of this doesn't have to be taken literally. A lack of clothing in a dream can signify the desire to uncover what's actually hidden.

Lois: You know, sometimes I do feel that Clark is hiding something. [ Sighs ] It sounds crazy, but the closer I get to him, the more... I feel like he's going to disappear.

Dr. Evans: Could this have something to do with your three weeks of blocked memory? Maybe you're trying to protect yourself, Lois. Didn't you say that the last time you opened up to someone -- your mysterious caller -- he vanished?

Ringtone: I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night

Lois: Speak of the devil. The Halley's Comet of phone dating himself. [ Chuckles ] Sayonara, superstud.

[ Beeps, song stops ]

Dr. Evans: You still have strong feelings for this mystery man.

Lois: Please. Remember 8-Tracks and rotary phones? That's him -- ancient history.  And the fact that you haven't gotten that news flash means I'm probably wasting my time with all this head-shrink mumbo-jumbo stuff.

Dr. Evans: Lois, you have projected so much onto this mystery caller. Maybe you should focus on the man that's right in front of you.

Clark: I can't believe she's not picking up.

Chloe: You freeze the girl out, she's gonna give you a cold shoulder, hero or not.

Clark: After what happened with Corben, I stopped calling her as The Blur for her own protection.

Chloe: Sorry. This is a really bad time for your P.R. queen to go M.I.A.

Clark: She's the only one who can tell the world the truth. Lois has to know The Blur is not responsible for the failed drug bust or the crime boss getting away.

Chloe: You know, Clark, you need to get to work on some serious spin-doctor magic, because whoever's posing as The Blur is genius at marketing and self-promotion.

[ Beeps ]

Chloe: He's co-opted your brand.

Clark: I'm not a brand. The Blur has a blog.

Chloe: And apparently, you Twitter and you're on Facebook, where you have 10,000 friends, by the way. You've come quite a long way since being scarecrowed in high school.

Clark: Why would somebody go through so much trouble to discredit me?

Chloe: Now, here's the hitch. I think he's actually trying to help you. I discovered five messy, but successful, saves obviously not done by you.

Clark: Whether this person means well or not, they need to be stopped... before someone gets hurt.

Man: Pull over by the power station. Nice and easy. These ladies and I have a date with destiny.

[ Clunk ]

Jayna: [ Roars ]

Adrian: Gun it!

[ Tires screeching ]

Man: Go!

[ Brakes squealing ]

Jayna: [ Snarls ] We did it.

Zan: Did you see that guy's face?

Jayna: Pretty slick, Z.

Zan: Way to go aggro, J.

Jayna: Once the police see this, they'll be off our backs for your genius cops-in-a-box idea.

Zan: Hey, they were undercover.

Jayna: Think we should tie him up?

Zan: He's out cold. Let's just get some shots to upload.

Jayna: Okay.

[ Shutter clicks ]

Jayna: What are you doing? You're in the shot. This is our evidence.

Zan: Got to give props to the man.

[ Spray can rattles ]

Jayna: Come on, Zan. Let's fly.

[ Rumbling ]

Both: Whoa!

Lois: Two hours to get here with the monorail down. Chalk another one up to the Blundering Blur.  He may have stopped a diamond heist, but his blackout belly flop has crippled Metropolis. And the scavengers have already started circling. District attorney Ray Sacks, my pet research project.

Clark: Since when is a veteran D.A. newsworthy?

Lois: Since his Christmas-card roster reads like a Soprano's hit list. I call him "Sacks-ophone" 'cause he loves to blow his own horn!

Ray: Susan, I'm not here because I'm running for mayor. I'm here because I think it's a travesty that this city has been brought to its knees by The Blur.

Clark: Lois, I can't help but think there's more to this story than people are seeing.

Lois: I think it's pretty obvious. Either The Blur is hitting a quarterlife crisis, or his ego has gotten really supersized.

Clark: And you're sure he didn't try to call you and explain himself?

Lois: He called. I didn't pick up. Since when did you become The Blur's big defender?

Clark: He just doesn't deserve the silent treatment just because he's been out there saving people.

Lois: Of course you would say that, Clark.  You're a guy. The Blur can't expect me to be his beck-and-call girl after weeks of no contact. I spy with my little eye a potential witness.

[ Monkey chatters in ringtone ]

[ Metal creaks ]

[ Metal crashes ]

Zan: I totally tanked this one.

Jayna: Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not the one who lost her phone.

Zan: Are you sure you don't have it?

Jayna: I must have dropped it back at the power plant.

Zan: [ Sighs ] I know I sort of pulled you into this, but maybe we're just not hero material.

[ Monkey chatters in ringtone ]

[ Beeps ]

Zan: It's you, J.

Jayna: What?! This can't be good.

Zan: What if someone's already on to us? What do we do?

Jayna: Time to motor.

Both: Powers, activate.

Zan: Whoa, what the...

Jayna: Where are we? How did we even get here?

Zan: It had to have been The Blur.

Jayna: No, come on, Z., There's no way.

Zan: Think about it. Who else could have stopped us? This is The Blur's lair.

Jayna: He doesn't have a lair.

Zan: I'm telling you, this tech is definitely off the grid. Oh, wait until I tweet everybody about this.

[ Beeping ]

Chloe: That's not gonna happen. Welcome to Watchtower. And if you chat one word about what you see and hear, I will vaporize your Twitter accounts, Facebook pages. Every trace of your virtual existence will be obliterated.

Jayna: Holy hacking. You can do that? Our tweets are totally sealed.

Zan: Code of silence all the way.

Jayna: So, who are you?

Zan: It's The Blur's sidekick.

Jayna: We don't know that.

Chloe: Not exactly. I'm doing pro bono for The Blur and keeping an eye on you two.

Jayna: Wait, you're not gonna hand us over to the cops, are you?

Zan: We just wanted to help fuel The Blur's legend.

Chloe: Okay, about the helping. Right idea, wrong execution. Look, I've been where you guys are. I get it. You're just a couple of mega fans who really want to make a difference, but you are single-handedly destroying what The Blur stands for.

Jayna: We know we made some mistakes.

Zan: How can we make up for what we've done?

Chloe: You just wait for the right moment. You'll know.

Jayna: So, The Blur trusts you, right?  I mean, how do you always know the right thing to do?

Chloe: You don't. And neither does he. But you stick around a hero long enough and you get your share at saving him... sometimes even from himself.

Lois: Oh, man! I don't know how old-school journalists broke a story without breaking somebody's neck.

[ Whirring, compputers dinging ]

Lois: I will never take you for granted again, I swear.

Ringtone: I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night

[ Beeps ]

Lois: I suppose you were the one who gave us that little reboot.

Clark: [ Distorted ] In a way, the city going dark was my fault. The least I could do is put things right.

Lois: You know, just because you threw a few switches doesn't make up for all your bonehead moves lately.

Clark: Lois... I wasn't the one behind the saves.

Lois: The Blur has an imposter nipping at heels? How did you let that happen?

Clark: It's not that simple. They were just misguided fans. I'm not turning them over to the D.A.

Lois: Without proof, nobody's gonna buy the misguided-fans angle.  You're risking a lot to protect some feckless meteor freaks.

Clark: Maybe. But doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?

Lois: Oh, you want to go there? Let me tell you about second chances, buddy. There's a way you treat a woman. It's called respect.

Chloe: So, how did you guys end up on the street?

Jayna: Oh, for a long time now, we've only had each other.

Zan: Nobody really bought us as transfer students from Sweden.

Chloe: Whoa, whoa, whoa. That taps into cellphone frequencies. Just don't touch anything, okay?

Zan: Sorry.

Lois: So just because you're some fancy hero...

Clark: Lois, I tried.

Lois: There is no try, Skywalker. You have superpowers. Why don't you pick up a phone?

Clark: Lois... you're just gonna have to do something you've had trouble with lately.

[ Crackling ]

Clark: [ Normal voice ] You're gonna have to trust me.

[ Dial tone ]

Lois: Smallville.

 [ Birds chirping ]

News: Last night was a whirlwind of happy endings as Metropolis' Blur worked overtime to bring the city out of the darkness and into the light.

Clark: Lois. I didn't realize you were filling in for the paper boy.

Lois: [ Chuckles ] [ Clears throat ] You look pretty chipper. Busy night? My story about The Blur made it above the fold. I think he'd be pretty happy that I included his side of the story.

Clark: So, you finally heard from him.

Lois: Yeah. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about my carbon footprint lately, and I figured, you know, we could start carpooling. I thought, you know, the ride would give us a chance to get past the whole kiss-and-run of it all, and...get to know each other better.

Clark: Better? You tell me the color of your underwear every day. What else is there to know?

Lois: I hope you didn't misunderstand all my Blur-bashing I did yesterday. Deep down, I never doubted him.

Clark: I'm sure he'd be happy to learn that your faith in The Blur never wavered.

Lois: Of course, he never explained why he didn't call me back.

Clark: Lois, what's going on?

Lois: Okay, look. I woke up this morning... and I saw things clearly for the first time.

News: In breaking news, Metropolis' D.A. has called out The Blur.

Ray: No one has the right to take the law into their own hands. Not you, not me, not even The Blur.  Now, because of the damage he has caused this city, I am asking The Blur to come out of the shadows, to stop this vigilante behavior and agree to work hand-in-hand with our law enforcement. Now, I will be holding a press conference later this afternoon. At that time, will ask The Blur to show himself and to take responsibility for his actions.

Clark: Big news day. I'll have to take a rain check on the carpooling.

Lois: Okay.

Lois: Dr. Evans... I'm going to save you a lot of time and money, okay? It's all your parents' fault.

Marjorie: [ Sobbing ]

Dr. Evan: Marjorie?

Lois: Oh, she had to take off. Family issues. Look, I know you think you're pretty good at this head-shrinking stuff. But thanks to you, my head is about to explode, and I don't know what to do. I focused on the man in my dreams, and now I found out that my mystery caller and Clark are the same person.

Dr. Evans: The same?

Lois: Unbelievable. Up until today, he couldn't lie his way out of a speeding ticket. And -- and now he can hold down an alter ego?

Dr. Evans: Lois, take a step back. What do you think is more likely -- that your mysterious caller and Clark are the same man, or that you're trying to make them one person in order to create your dream man?

Lois: Okay, they're not that different. My mystery caller is brave and selfless, and so is Clark... in his own way. I can't believe how difficult this must have been for him to carry his secret all the time. I just want to tell him that it doesn't matter to me. But... maybe coming clean isn't the best idea, either. Right now, Clark has this really big decision to make. And more than anything, I just want to help, but I'm not sure how. Wait. I know what I have to do. Thanks, doc. You're a gem. There's got to be something to this therapy stuff.

Chloe: Clark, hey. Don't worry -- the twittering twosome have sung their last song as we speak, they're in Watchtower, taking down The Blur's blog.

Clark: You seen today's news?

Chloe: Don't tell me you're taking that blowhard seriously, Clark. You know he's just gunning for the mayor's office. You are, aren't you? Clark, why? The last time you had a coming-out party, it was a disaster. What changed?

Clark: I've changed. I'm wearing my father's shield now. And I've worked hard to give people a symbol of hope, something that they can believe in, that will inspire them. I am the shield.

Chloe: I know you want to honor your father, Clark. But if you sacrifice yourself, there is no shield.

Clark: I won't just do nothing while the D.A. drags down my father's crest and everything that it stands for.

Chloe: That's exactly what you have to do. I'm sorry. Look, this guy's gonna call you a menace and a coward, and probably a threat to the city. And you have to let people believe his lies. Your father lives on through you... not your shield.

[ Indistinct talking ]

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, District Attorney Sacks.

Ray: Good afternoon. Thank you all for joining me. If you're out there, Blur...come. Come join me at this very podium, and take your place as a role model in this great city of ours. A true hero would not hide. He would show himself and take responsibility for mistakes he's made.

Lois: Out of my way! Excuse me! Move it or lose it.

[ Indistinct talking ]

Ray: It's all right. It's all right. Let her up.

Lois: Zip it, counselor. I'm Lois Lane from the Daily Planet, and I'm here to tell you that I know The Blur.

[ Indistinct talking ]

Lois: The D.A. says that a true hero would come forward. Well, The Blur can't. It's because he knows that the best way for him to protect you and me is to steer clear of all this political hoopla and remain the one thing that you and I need most -- a light in the darkness, a symbol for us to believe in when all other hope is lost. I've looked into The Blur's heart, and I can tell you that his intentions are good. Let The Blur be the hero he needs to be.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Ray: When you said you had looked into The Blur's heart, I had no idea how close a relationship you had.

Lois: Not that it's any of your business.

Ray: Oh, the safety of this city is always my business, young lady. Now, tell me the true identity of The Blur, and I'll overlook your annoying antics.

Lois: You talk a good game, counselor. But you don't believe a word of it. All your shady back-room deals with organized crime have just come home to roost. I've picked out a nice little font for my exposé. "Shady Sacks Sucks the City Dry."

Ray: Well, well, well. I actually had another headline in mind. And you're standing right on top of it. "The Blur Murders Lois Lane." Has a nice ring, doesn't it?

Lois: Nobody will ever believe you.

Ray: Honey, when The Blur decided not to come forward, he put the ball back in my court. I can make him whoever I want him to be. It just takes a little doubt.

Lois: You don't give people enough credit. Why would The Blur suddenly turn into a murderer?

Ray: [ Laughs ] Because you just announced in front of millions of people that you're the only person who knows his true identity.

Lois: Ugh! Ugh! You're the one who's hiding in the shadows, not The Blur, you coward!

Ray: Unfortunately, that's not a story you're gonna get to write.

Lois: Ugh! No!

Ray: All right, let's get out of here.

[ Indistinct talking ]

[ Siren wails ]

Man: Grab your camera! Hurry!

[ Wailing continues ]

Lois: Help! Somebody!

Clark: Lois.

[ Air whooshes ]

Clark: Lois?

Lois: [ Whimpering ]

Clark: Hold on, I'm coming.

Lois: Clark!

Clark: Lois?

Lois: Clark!

Clark: Grab my hand.

Lois: I can't!

Clark: All right, hold on. [ Grunts ] Ugh!

[ Camera shutters clicking ]

Clark: come on, stretch. You can reach!

Lois: It's too far! Oh!

Clark: Lois!

Zan: Hey, J. So, what's going on?

Jayna: The Blur's in even deeper, and it's all our fault.

Zan: Well, then what are we waiting for?

Jayna: We can't just ditch Chloe. We promised her we'd lay low till this all blows over.

Zan: She said sometimes you need to save a hero, even from himself.  Dad always used to say we're stronger when we stick together.

Both: Powers, activate.

Clark: Lois, hold on.

Lois: Let me go.

Clark: That's insane, Lois.

Lois: You can't reveal yourself to the cameras. You mean too much to the city... to the world. Clark... I know that you've been living two lives and having to lie to me about it every day.

Clark: Lois, you're not making any sense. It's gonna be okay. Just hold on.

Lois: I've always known, deep down, that you were a hero.

Clark: Lois!

Ray: All right, let's go.

Jayna: [ Snarling ] [ Barking ]

Clark: Lois? You're alive.

Lois: Thank you.

Clark: I'm flattered, Lois. I wish I could have been the one to rescue you, but I'm not that fast. I took the elevator.

[ Telephone ringing ]

Lois: Even after all this, you still can't tell me.

[ Ringing continues ]

Lois: Just stay here.

Chloe: [ Distorted ] Next time you take on the D.A. of Metropolis, remember to watch your step.

Lois: But that was just --

Chloe: [ Distorted ] Hope I made up for not calling. --

Clark: Lois, who was that?

Lois: The Blur.

Jayna: Yeah, the D.A. is TKO!

Zan: The Blur is back on top.

Jayna: This makes up for everything.

Clark: I have you to thank for that.

Jayna: Oh my God.

Clark: I put my shield out there to inspire people to step up and be their own heroes. And you did.

Jayna: We believe in you, Master B.

Clark: Don't believe in me. Believe in the shield and what it represents. Most importantly, believe in yourselves.

Jan: But...we're not the hero. You are.

Clark: That depends on you. Metropolis doesn't need more Blur fans. It needs people who are willing to do exactly what you did today. But you do need to be more careful. Heroes don't get second chances, and people need you to make life-and-death decisions every day. There's no room for mistakes.

Zan: Ever?

Clark: Not when the world is watching.

[ Air whooshes ]

Dr. Evans: I am happy to see that you're alive, Lois. After what I saw on the nightly news... and I never would have guessed that your mysterious caller was none other than Metropolis' famous Blur.

Lois: I can't believe I was so stupid. I must have been crazy to look at Clark through Blur-colored glasses.

Dr. Evans: Lois, you are not crazy. That's the point of therapy -- to learn about yourself.

Lois: But just looking at the facts -- what's easier to believe? That there was some phone glitch, or that the farm guy who sits across from me every day is a superpowered hero?

Dr. Evans: It's perfectly natural, Lois, to project the heroics of the unattainable men you tend to fall for onto someone close to you.

Lois: But it would be so much easier if they were the same person. When I heard The Blur's voice again, something stirred inside of me. But my thoughts... I keep going back to Clark. That scared guy who stepped down onto that ledge to save me.

Chloe: Hey. Cheers -- for earning another stripe today.

Clark: Where'd you get that?

Chloe: The street vendor on the corner. It also comes in t-shirts and key chains. I had to be the first one on the block to get the superhero swag.

Clark: Next thing you know, your Wonder Twins will be a household name.

Chloe: Thanks to the fog and dog duo, Sacks is on his way to the slammer. You know, with some training, they may be able to give The Blur some much-needed backup in the halls of justice.

Clark: I guess I have more backup than I thought. How'd you pull off the whole Blur-impersonation thing?

Chloe: Just your typical sleight-of-the-ear stuff. Now you hear it, now you don't. [ Distorted ] Hello, Lois. Pay no attention to the blonde behind the curtain.  [ Normal voice ] Relax, Clark. I'm not exactly the great and powerful Oz. I just created a program where everything I type in here comes out Blur.

Clark: How'd you know when to make the call? And how'd you know what to say to convince Lois?

Chloe: I hacked into the security cameras on the rooftop, and I've been monitoring all cell communication in Metropolis.

Clark: You've been eavesdropping on my personal calls with Lois, haven't you? Chloe, there's keeping a bird's-eye view, and then there's playing Big Brother with people's private lives.

Chloe: Easy on the dress-down, Clark, okay? If I hadn't stepped in, Lois would still be beating down the "Clark is a superhero" door, and believe me, once the bloodhound Lois is at your door, you'd better find a better way to disguise your superhero scent.

Clark: Your eyes still closed?

Lois: This isn't what I had in mind when you said you wanted to meet in the copy room, but, hey, I'm open.

Clark: You said I had a secret. You're right.

Lois: I was dangling 100 stories above the pavement. I think I get a free pass on that one.  Let's see what you've got.

Clark: I'm a bit nearsighted. I've been trying not to wear them.

Lois: They're very... ...Clark Kent. I guess you're not the only one who's a little shortsighted. It's just sometimes I feel like I see a whole other side of you than anyone else. 

Clark: Lois?

Lois: It's okay. It's my hero complex to resolve. I take the nicest guy that I know, and I weigh him down with all this shining armor. And it's not fair. Nobody can be two different people.

Clark: I wish I could.  Is this your long-winded way of saying that you hate these?

Lois: Personally... I don't mind the bump in your geek factor. But, professionally, there are these newfangled things you can try. They're called contacts.

Clark: It means a lot that you thought I had it in me.

Lois: Don't worry, Smallville. I'll only call you four-eyes every once in a while.  [ Sighs ] But just so you're clear on one thing.

Clark: Lois?! Lois!

Main photo from http://cwtv.com

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