First aired October 27th, 2004

Provided by Suzanne

Clark:  31! 42!

[ Moo ]

Clark:  Hut! And the Crows take the state championship! Ha ha ha ha!

Jason:  Well, I knew you were talented, but I didn't know you could see in the future.

Clark:  I was just practicing.

Jason:  That's good. It's good to visualize game-winning plays, especially when the coach from Metropolis University is coming to the game on Friday night to check out the new star quarterback.

Clark:  Are you kiddin' me?

Jason:  I don't kid about football.

[ Piercing noise ]

Clark:  That's great. I'm --

Jason:  You okay?

[Clark groans]

Jonathan:  Coach, I'll take care of him. Thanks for stopping by.  That's great news. Clark! Clark, what's the matter, son?

Clark:  I hear a ringing.

Jonathan:  Can you tell me where it's coming from?

[ Piercing noise continues ]

Clark:  Uh.  I have to go.

Jonathan:  Clark!

Lionel:  Ahem. 

Lex:  You don't look well, Dad. Forget to take your vitamins?

Lionel:  I know how deeply angry you are, Lex. You let them put me in this godforsaken place because of that anger. But it's too late to change anything now.

Lex:  So I've heard. A month left before your liver gives up on you for good. What, you didn't think I'd trek all the way out here without having a chat with your doctor?

Lionel:  I wanted to see you, Lex, to say goodbye. Face to face. I have done many things in my life that I have come to regret. But there is one thing I'll never forgive myself... I never... said... I love you.  Please.

[ Piercing noise continues ]

Clark:  Lex, no!

Lex:  Clark.

Lionel (Clark):  Wha-- wha-- what are you doing?  What are you doing? Wai-- let me go. Let go of me! Lex! Lex! Let go of me!

Lex:  What the hell are you doing here?

Clark (Lionel):  Your father...he wanted to see me.

Lex:  Did he ask you to tackle me to the floor while you're at it?

Clark:  He had something sharp, Lex -- a knife.

Lex:  Let him go.

Clark:  Let's get outta here, Lex. Now.

Lex:  Clark, you don't seem like your usual self. You barely said a word the entire ride home.

Clark (Lionel):  Sorry. Being in that prison... I guess it upset me.

Lex:  Yeah, well, it isn't exactly the happiest place on earth.

Clark:  No, it isn't, Lex. Do you ever feel guilty? Sending your father to prison, I mean.

Lex:  Why would I? The man murdered his parents. [Scoffs] I did society a favor. 

Lex:  Clark, since when did you become president of my father's fan club?

Clark: You're right, of course.  He's only your father. Why should you feel anything?

Jonathan:  Hey, Clark.

Clark (Lionel): Dad.

Jonathan:  Yeah, come on over here, son. I'm glad you're back. Your mother and I were really getting  worried about you. Are you feeling all right?

Clark: I feel fine.

Jonathan:  Well, that's a relief. You know, it's never a good sign when people around here start hearing strange noises. Look, since you're here, why don't you give me a hand? Lift it on up.

Clark: Lift... lift what?

Jonathan:  The tractor. It's been giving me trouble all week. I need to check out the rear end. Come on. Lift it up.

Clark: Huh. How would I do that?

Jonathan:  You're very funny, Clark, but I don't have all day. Lift up the tractor, please. Come on. Let's go.  That's really nice, but I'm not 5'4". Lift it up over your head. I need to get under the back. All right, that oughta do it.

Clark: Of course... yeah. It all makes sense now.

Jonathan:  What's that?

Clark: Oh. It's just... boy, is it dirty under here.

Jonathan:  Are you sure you're all right?

Clark: Never felt better in my life.

Edgar:  Oh... you must be Lex.

Lionel (Clark):  Lex? No, I'm not Lex. I'm Clark Kent.

Edgar:  Oh, Houston, we have a problem. That stone was meant for Lex. No...

Lionel:  Where did Lionel get this?

Edgar:  Uh... um...I-I don't know.

Lionel:  Please, you have to tell me.

Edgar:  It came from this... Mayan rain god statue. Eh...one of his teams found it in an underwater ruin off the coast of Honduras.

Lionel:  How did he know to search there?

Edgar:  Oh, he's scouring the globe, yeah.  These ancient symbols -- they've shown up in, uh, Egypt, Central America, even a, uh, sacred Indian cave right here in Kansas.

Lionel:  These symbols -- they look like they mean something.

Edgar:  Well, you'd better believe it. The, uh, the mark on your stone right there -- that, uh, that means "water." That's the element of, you know, transformation. You know. 

Lionel:  How do you know that?

Edgar:  Oh, you know, I've always kinda had a thing for pattern recognition, you know, codes and ciphers... that sort of thing.  Uh, that one means "fire." And the other one up there -- that's "air." Uh, you take the three and you put 'em together... Mayan legend says it leads you to a trove of knowledge beyond your wildest dreams. Oh, I didn't believe any of this myself, until 58 minutes and 14 seconds ago when a myth about body jumping suddenly became, uh, real. Ha ha ha ha.  Aah! Well, here you are, and it's hard to argue with it now. Stranger things have happened.

Lionel:  What did you do to end up in here?

Edgar:  If you ask the D.A., I embezzled $14 million from the Princeton University pension fund.

Lionel:  Did you do it?

Edgar:  I'm a mathematician, you know. I'm looking for hidden patterns in the Dead Sea scrolls. No, money really doesn't mean a lot to me.  You know what happened?  I was framed.

Lionel:  And you just happened to end up in this prison in Lionel Luthor's cell?

Edgar:  Yeah. That was pretty lucky, huh? All I have to do is get my hands on a couple of these symbols, and, um, he set me up with his lawyers. They're still trying to get me outta here. I just hope he lasts long enough...

Lionel:  What do you mean?

Edgar:  He's dying. Yeah. Yeah, he's dying. Mathematically speaking, it's happening.

Lionel:  If he's dying, then... that means... I'm gonna die.

Clark (Lionel):  Oui, oui, mademoiselle.  Parlez-vous anglais?

Woman: How may I help you, sir?

Clark:  This... this is Lionel Luthor. Code number 434690. I'd like to liquidate my account -- my entire account. And purchase... bearer bonds.

Woman: Mother's maiden name, Mr. Luthor?

Clark:  Meehan.

Woman: And what is your... Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Luthor, the seems to be a problem with your voice verification.

Clark:  What?

Martha: Clark!

Clark:  Martha.

Martha: I know you're practically a grown man, Clark, but please call me "Mom," no matter how old you are.

Clark:  Sure. Sure.

Martha: Dinner's ready, but the way you're dressed, are you going out?

Clark:  Um... no, no. I just wanted a change. I'm bored with plaid.

Martha: Well, I'll see you inside. Clark... what are you doing?

Clark:  I... I just... wanted to tell you how beautiful you look today... Mom.

Martha: Something is not right. I can see it in your eyes. Is it because of that ringing you heard?

Clark:  I don't know. I need a hug.

Martha: Aw... [ Gasps ]  Clark!

[ Cow moos ]

Martha: What's gotten into you?

Clark:  I-I don't know.

Martha: Well, jump down there and put it out.

Clark:  Put it out? How?

Martha: With your hands.

Clark:  Hey, Mom.

Martha: Hey, hey, go upstairs and clean up.

Jonathan:  Hey, Clark, look who came to check up on you.

Jason:  Hey. How are you feeling? It's good to see you up and around.

Clark:  I feel fine.

Jason:  You sure? 'Cause you're looking at me like you have absolutely no idea who I am.

Clark:  No, I know who you are.  You're my... coach.

Jason:  All right, well, I guess I'll see you at practice tomorrow.

Clark:  You know, uh, I'm not gonna be able to make it.

Jason:  It's pretty important... considering you could clinch a scholarship on Friday.

Clark:  Coach, I just, um, I need to rethink my priorities. I have no interest in football whatsoever.

Jason:  Whoa, Clark, hey. You realize that every player on that roster would kill to be in your position? I mean, you get a free ride to a college of your choice. You just want to quit the team?

Clark:  Precisely.

Lionel (Clark):  Edgar, I've got to make a call.  How do I do that?

Edgar:  Once a week, you get a turn. Unless you know how to work the system, which, of course, I do.

Lionel:  Edgar, please, I need you to help me.

Edgar:  What's in it for me?

Lionel:  I can get you out of here.

Edgar:  Come on, if the real Lionel Luthor can't do it, what are you going to do?  I mean, you have no money... you have no power.

Lionel:  I have a lot more power than you think.

Convict: Time to play Who Wants to Beat a Billionaire!

[Other convicts make comments]

Convict: You got my five large?

Lionel:  What? What are you talking about?

Convict:  That senile act isn't gonna work, Trump. Payment's past due.

Lionel:  Things have changed.  I don't have any money. You have to --

Convict:  Don't play me, Trump. I'm doing three life terms for murder. What's one more?  You got till tomorrow.

Clark (Lionel):  Lex... he changed the password.

Chloe:  What? Was flannel too five minutes ago?  Whoa. Who pulled a Paul Bunyan on the desk?

Clark:  It was that way when I got here.

Chloe: Weird.

Clark:  You know, Chloe, I'm concerned about your well-being.

Chloe:  Oh, yeah? Why is that?

Clark:  If Lionel Luthor managed somehow to get out of prison, what do you suppose he'd do, about you, I mean?

Chloe:  Why? Has the Lionel Luthor alert suddenly been elevated to orange? Do you know something I don't?

Clark:  No. But it always pays to be cautious.

Chloe:  Well, I'm not exactly shaking in my sneakers. I mean, he won't be eligible for parole until he's, like, 112, so...

Clark:  You never know. He could get out sooner than you think.

Chloe:  Yeah, well, I think maybe our quarterback has been sacked one too many times.

Clark:  Maybe. I do feel as though I'm looking through a different pair of eyes. I certainly see you in a whole new light.

Chloe:  What exactly is that supposed to mean?

Clark:  I have to confess that I... I find you absolutely fascinating. It's that twinkle in your eye... your wonderfully sexy smile... and your skin is so...

Chloe:  Clark, what are you doing?

Clark:  What I've wanted to do for a very... very long time. Don't you wish. Miss Sullivan.

Lana: I did some research on the Countess Theroux. It turns out that we have a lot more in common than I thought.

Jason:  Don't tell me the Countess ran a coffee shop.

Lana: No, she's from this village in France -- Castelnois de Montmiral. Same village that my mom's ancestors came from.

Jason:  Really? What do you think it all means?

Lana: I don't know. It's all really strange. She was buried as a martyr, but, um... she was burned as a witch.

Jason:  Hey... we will figure this out, I promise.

Clark (Lionel):  Ladies. 

Jason:  You are my main concern, Lana. We'll get through this Countess thing together.

Clark:  Oh, please, don't stop on my account.

Lana: Clark, it's --

Jason:  Lana.

Clark:  Oh, you don't have to explain yourself to me...Lana. You're young, vital. You have...needs. Right, coach?

Lionel (Clark):  You're never gonna get away with this.

Clark:  Oh, but I am. With my mind and your body... the sky's the limit...Clark.

Lionel:  I don't know what you're talking about.

Clark:  You know it's becoming clear to me why you're so secretive. You understand that true power is better left concealed.

Lionel:  No matter how hard you try, you'll never be me. My parents, my friends... they'll see right through you.

Clark:  I'm not so sure. They haven't so far, have they? I need you to do something for me. Say the name "Meehan" and these numbers.

Lionel:  Why?

Clark:  Because if you don't... your good friend Lex will very shortly be dead -- an unfortunate accident.

Lionel:  But he's your son. Your only child.

Clark:  And I'm his only father, but that didn't stop him from putting me in prison and robbing me of everything I had. Now speak the words into the recorder, or you will be directly responsible for your friend's death.

Woman: Your account number, please.

Lionel's voice: 434690.

Woman: May I please have your mother's maiden name?

Lionel's voice: Meehan.

Woman: Voice verification complete. Account balance is $2.59.

Clark (Lionel):  No. No, no, there was 57 million U.S.dollars in that account.

Woman:  A withdrawal for that amount was made two months ago.

Clark:  The day I was convicted. Lex. Of course.

Lana:  Clark?

Clark:  This one.

Lana:  About last night... um, I'm sorry that you found out about me and Jason the way that you did.

Clark:  You'll get over it.

Lana:  Um... w-we didn't just meet. He was in Paris over the summer, and we sort of...spent a lot of time together.

Clark:  How romantic. A lovers' meeting, the first kiss shared on the banks of the River Seine.

Lana:  He moved to Smallville to be with me, Clark. It's kinda serious.

Clark:  Well, I'm not surprised. A man would travel around the world to... pluck your succulent fruit.

Lana:  Don't talk to me like that.

Clark:  [ Chuckling ] I can't help it. Sorry.

Lana:  Clark, I need you to promise me something.

Clark:  Whatever you want.

Lana:  Don't tell anyone about me and Jason.

Clark:  I don't understand why you're so interested in this high-school football coach.  Think a minute.  Do you have any idea what I have to offer you?

Lana:  Yeah, yeah, I think I do. Lies and secrecy... and a whole lot of confusion. You're the one that broke up with me, remember?

Clark:  Oh, that was a mistake.  I was... I was too young to know what I was doing. I'm older now, more mature.

Lana:  Well, I'm not so sure.

Clark:  Oh, Lana, I'm very different.  Let me show you.

Lana:  Who the hell do you think you are?

Clark:  Clark Kent... of course.

Guard:  Step in, please.5 minutes.

Lionel (Clark):  I'm glad you came.

Martha:  I'm only here because you told me it involved the safety of my son.

Lionel:  I know this is hard to believe, but, I swear, it's the truth. It's me, Mom. It's Clark.

Martha:  You're sick, Lionel.  You need help.

Lionel:  Mom, you have to believe me.

Martha:  I'm leaving.

Lionel:  Mom, Mom, no, Mom, remember -- remember when I was 6,and I was playing tag with Dad, and all of a sudden I started running faster than I'd ever run before, and I was in the middle of Palmer Woods, completely lost. And you and Dad had to call Sheriff Ethan. And when you saw me, you started crying. And I thought something was wrong with me, and you said, no, there wasn't. And then you held me in your arms, and you told me I was just special, I'm your special boy.

Martha:  Oh, Clark, how?

Lionel:  The ringing I heard --it came from a stone. It was in Lionel's hand. And it had a Kryptonian symbol on it, and it was glowing, and I thought he was gonna hurt Lex, so I got in between them, and the next thing I know, I was...Lionel. I was in Lionel's body.

Martha:  And he knows about your powers. No.

Lionel:  Mom, be careful. Lionel could be anywhere.

Clark (Lionel):  Crunching numbers? Or spinning daydreams?

Lex:  I don't remember you being a scotch drinker.

Clark:  It's very difficult to resist a 29-year-old highland.  [ Chuckles ] I had a feeling you'd pillage your father's collection of single malts.

Lex:  Now, how do you know it's from my dad?

Clark:  Isn't it all your dad's? This castle...Luthorcorp... the cars, the jets...everything. The very cufflinks in your sleeves.

Lex:  Clark... I know you well enough to realize this isn't you talking.

Clark:  You're absolutely right.  I'm not myself. I'm under stress. Lex, I need to get my hands on $57 million.

Lex:  That's an interesting dollar amount.

Clark:  It's not your money.  You stole it. Now I want it back. Now get on the phone. Tell the bank to wire the money, or I'll snap your larynx like a twig. All right?

Lex:  Go ahead. Kill me.

Clark:  All I wanted was the best for you, and you destroyed me.

Lex:  Dad?

Clark:  [ Coughs ]

Martha:  Lex.

[ Super speed sound ]

[ Telephone ringing ]

Jonathan:  Hello.

Martha: I've been trying to reach you. Where have you been?

Jonathan:  Hi, sweetheart.  I was at the mechanic's. The tractor --I'm afraid it's shot.

Martha: Jonathan, listen to me.  You've got to go to the closet and get a meteor rock.

Jonathan:  What are you talking about, Martha?

Martha: Lionel is in Clark's body.

Clark (Lionel):  I thought I was invulnerable now, but I was wrong.

Martha: Jonathan!

Clark:  Tell me, what weakens me?  What is it?

Jonathan:  I have no idea what you're talking about.

Clark:  Tell me what it is, Jonathan.

[ Telephone rings ]

Clark:  No, no, Martha can't help you now. Tell me what it is.

Martha's voice: Hi, you've reached the Kents'.  Leave a message.

Edgar:  Does this thing work? Hello, I'm calling for someone named Clark. Uh, Houston, we have a problem. I've done some more reading, and, uh, it's not good. So I hope you're getting this because you should come see me A.S.A.P.

[ Dial tone ]

Edgar:  Is that really you in there, Lionel?

Clark (Lionel):  No, it's the Easter Bunny.  What did you find? What did the rest of the code say?

Edgar:  It turns out the, uh, transference is, um, eventually going to come to an end. You will revert back to your original bodies eventually.

Clark:  When?

Edgar:  I suppose it could happen at any time. Yeah, I thought you'd want to know that.

Clark:  There must be some way to make it permanent.

Edgar:  Well, none that I see, uh... save murder. Theoretically speaking, if you were to, you know, kill the other you, then there would be no you for you to revert back to, so... you know, I suppose you could be Clark Kent for the rest of your life --his life. Your life. Well, the difference is nil at that point.

Clark:  The artifact --where is it?

Edgar:  Uh, yeah, the guards took it from me. Yeah, they thought it was a weapon.

Convict:  Ha! Time's up, Trump.  Got something for me?

Lionel (Clark):  I'm -- Yeah, I'm still working on it. Just give me a few more days.

Convict  Do you think this is some kind of game? There's no overtime here.  But there is sudden death.

[Convicts make sounds]

Guard: This is a lockdown. I repeat, this is a lockdown. Return to your cells immediately.

Prisoners: No!  No!  No! [ Chanting ]No! No! No! No!

[ Alarm blaring]

Edgar:  Oh...that's never good. Listen, your lawyers, um, they haven't been call-- so, uh, should I call you?

Lionel (Clark):  What happened to concealing your powers?

Clark (Lionel):  I'm sorry, only one Clark allowed.

Lionel (Clark):  What are you gonna do, go to high school and stack hay for the rest of your life?

Clark (Lionel):  A farm boy?  I don't think so. I have big plans for this Clark Kent.

Clark:  What else did Lionel do?

Jonathan:  Well, for starters, you quit the football team.

Clark:  I better call Coach Teague.

Martha:  He's not the only one. Lana and Chloe came by to see you, and they both looked pretty upset.

Clark:  Before I do any of that, I gotta get that artifact.

Jonathan:  Clark, I don't want you going anywhere near that prison, son.

Clark:  If I don't find it, Lionel could.

Martha:  You can't risk having the same thing happen to you all over again.

Clark:  Look, this isn't the first time I heard the ringing sound. When I was Kal-El, I heard the same sound, and it led me to an artifact with a Kryptonian symbol on it in Lex's jet.

Jonathan:  Where is the artifact now, Clark?

Clark:  I put it in a chamber in the cave wall. There's a slot for two more, and Lionel's artifact matches one of them. I don't know where the other one is.

Martha:  Why didn't you tell us about this earlier?

Clark:  With everything we've been through with Jor-El, I just wanted to close that chapter in my life. I guess it doesn't matter what I want. Look, these artifacts -- I think they're somehow meant for me.

Jonathan:  And I think Lionel Luthor would disagree with that, don't you?

Martha:  And now that he knows about your powers, he's more dangerous than ever.

Clark:  Not for long.

Jonathan:  Clark, what are you talking about?

Clark:  Lionel Luthor is dying, Dad.

Doctor:  It couldn't be.

Lionel:  Doctor, please, just... tell me.

Doctor:  Mr. Luthor... your liver is entirely disease-free.

Lionel:  [ Laughing ] How can that be possible?

Doctor:  I have no idea. It's the closest thing to a miracle I've ever seen. Have you been taking any unregulated meds, supplements?

Lionel:  No. Not that I know of. You must understand, I have no recollection of the past few days, Doctor. I just know that something here -- something... inside of me has ch-changed... profoundly. I'm not... the same man.

Clark:  Chloe, listen, I'm not really sure what I did to you.

Chloe:  Another convenient case of amnesia, huh?

Clark:  No, but whatever it is, I'm really sorry.

Chloe:  Clark, you know what?  It's a really valiant effort, but you've used up your lifetime allotment of apologies. Look, I'm only saying this to you because I care about you, but I think you should go and look for help... some psychological help.

Clark:  Chloe, I totally appreciate you looking out for me, but I really don't think I need to talk to anyone.

Chloe:  Well, then how are you gonna explain all of this -- Clark Kent, Crackhead?

Clark:  Chloe, I don't do drugs.  Look, it wasn't me.

Chloe:  Yeah, but see, Clark, it was you. Now, a lot of people in this town have pulled a Jekyll and Hyde, but deep down, they're still the same person. Lana, he's all yours.

Lana:  Have you said anything to anyone?

Clark:  What?

Lana:  Don't play games with me, Clark.

Clark:  Seriously, Lana, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Lana:  This isn't about you and me, all right? This is about Jason losing his job.

Clark:  Why would Jason lose his job?

Lana:  Why do you think? If anyone had the slightest inkling that we were a couple, he'd be fired in a heartbeat.

Clark:  You and Jason?

Lana:  We're both adults, and we're not hurting anybody. But the school has its rules. He needs this job, Clark. Please, you know, after everything that you've put me through, can you at least keep this a secret? It seems to be the one thing that you're good at.

Clark:  Yeah.

Clark:  Lex!

Lex:  Stay where you are!

Clark:  Lex, it's me -- Clark. I need to talk to you.

Lex:  After I drove my Porsche into the river and you fished me out, I asked your dad if there was any way I could repay him. What did he say that we always joke about?

Clark:  Lex, what is this -- a pop quiz?

Lex:  Answer the question!

Clark:  He told you to drive slower.

Lex:  Welcome back.

Clark:  So you know what happened.

Lex:  Well, it was a bit of a giveaway when you asked for $57 million.

Clark:  Lex, my mom told me what I did. I'm sorry.

Lex:  Clark, if you didn't come between me and my father in that visiting room, it would've been me sitting behind bars. I should be thanking you.

Clark:  I didn't do anything you wouldn't have done for me.

Lex:  So how did my father do it?

Clark:  I-I don't know.

Lex:  And that strength you had -- it was incredible. Where did it come from?

Clark:  Uh, it must've been a side effect of the transference.

Lex:  Well, whatever happened, I'm just glad it wore off.

Clark:  Lex, I have a favor to ask.

Lex:  Name it.

Clark:  Well, it has to do with your father's cell mate.   He's actually the one that helped me through this whole ordeal.  He saved my life.  He swears he was framed.

Lex:  Clark, a lot of convicts swear they've been framed.

Clark:  But I believe him. And I promised him that... if I got out, I'd do everything in my power to help him.  And Lex, you're the only one that I know with the resources who might be able to help.

Lex:  Well, if I can manage to put a guilty man in prison, maybe I can get an innocent man out.

Edgar: {Stuttering] Uh...I wasn't told it was gonna be...

Bridgette:  Edgar. 

Edgar: Yeah.  Yes.

Bridgette:  Do you have what we asked you for?

Edgar: Oh.  Uh...

Bridgette:  Thank you.

Edgar: It's a nice car.

Main Picture from planete-smallville.com

Back to Smallville Transcripts Page

Back to the Main Smallville Page