Martha: How can you be as fast as lightning and as slow as molasses all
at the same time?
Clark: Sometimes, Mom, I'm even a mystery to myself.
Jonathan: Wait a minute, didn't I just fix your alarm clock recently?
Clark: Yeah, but I crushed it this morning hitting the snooze alarm.
Guess I'm not much of a morning person.
Jonathan: Must have got that from your mother.
Jonathan: Ow! You know, she could be late to her own wedding. In fact,
she was late to her own wedding.
Martha: Not all of us were trained by roosters.
Clark: I was up late studying for an exam. Greek tragedy.
Jonathan: Oh, well speaking of Greek tragedy, I've got to get your
mother to work. Want a ride?
Clark: No. I'll probably just slow you guys down.
Martha: Thank you, baby.
Rachel: Hmm.
Chloe: So Hera freaks out because Zeus has been two-timing her, with a
mere mortal no less. So she sends a bunch of snakes to kill Hercules,
who is the illegitimate babe in the cradle.
Chloe: It's just family dysfunction of Dionysian proportion.
Pete: Sounds like these people oughta be on Ricki Lake.
Chloe: While I don't condone her behavior, Zeus did break his wedding
vows.
Clark: Doesn't give her the right to go "Fatal Attraction" on him.
Chloe: Hey, Clark, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Rachel: Hello, Clark.
Clark: Do we know each other?
Rachel: No. Well, yes Clark, I'm your mother.
Martha: It's obviously a mistake. She's not your mother.
Clark: That's what I told her. She said I probably just need time to get
used to the idea. She gave me her cell phone number...told me to call
her if I wanted to talk again.
Jonathan: Ah, Clark, I don't want you to have anything to do with this
woman.
Clark: She's going to be hard to avoid. She said she just bought a
house...in Smallville.
Jonathan and Martha stop in their tracks, taken aback by this news.
Clark: She also said that the agency that handled the adoption was
Metropolis United Charities. Now that's the same place Chloe told me
about.
Clark: I thought the only adoption they handled was mine.
Jonathan: So did I.
Clark: Dad, tell me what happened back then.
Martha: That's not important right now.
Jonathan: Your mother's right. What we need to do is to get this woman
to back off.
Martha and Jonathan start toward the house, while Clark remains in
place.
Jonathan: We don't want her making people curious about where you came
from.
Rachel: Mrs. Kent, I know what you're thinking. This woman gave her baby
up. What right does she have to show up after all these years?
Martha: Well, the thought did occur to me.
Jonathan: Look...Mrs. Dunleavy, I'm sure you mean well, and I know
you've gone though a tremendous amount of trouble finding Clark, but
he's not your child.
Rachel: Oh, I've done the research. My Lucas was the only baby turned
over to Metropolis United Charities, and Clark was the only child that
they ever placed.
Jonathan: We are Clark's legal parents. We raised him.
Rachel: Believe me, I'm not trying to take Clark away from you. I just
want a chance to get to know him.
Rachel: Giving up Lucas was the worst thing I've ever done. I didn't do
it because I wanted to, I did it because I had to.
Jonathan: I sincerely hope...that you find Lucas...someday.
Jonathan: But I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you not to bother my
family, or Clark ever again.
Rachel: No.
Chloe: Sure Clark, you can use my computer. Knock yourself out.
Clark: You've been getting emails from Rachel Dunleavy.
Chloe: You've been reading my emails?
Clark: You promised me you'd stop digging into my adoption.
Chloe: Wh...all I did was post a few notices on adoption websites, to
see if I could get some hits. This Dunleavy woman responded.
Clark: Oh, so you said "Why don't you check out my buddy Clark? He may
be your son!"
Chloe: You have to believe me...I didn't tell her anything about you,
Clark.
Clark: So it's just a coincidence she shows up in Smallville claiming to
be my mom?
Chloe: She's here?
Chloe: Clark, what makes you so sure that she's not the real thing?
Clark: I am not giving you an exclusive on my life!
Chloe: You're not even curious that she might be your biological mom?
Clark: Why are you so obsessed about my mother? Do I ask you questions
about yours?
Chloe: No, I guess not.
Clark: Yeah, that's because she hasn't shown her face here in years! If
you want to find somebody's mother, find your own!
Chloe: I know where she is Clark! The difference is, she's not
interested in me. Since you'll probably never speak to me again, there's
something you might want to know. Metropolis United Charities was
founded by Lionel Luthor.
Lex: I admit, I'm even more intrigued now than when I got your note. But
I'm still not sure what any of this has to do with me.
Rachel: Well, I understand that you and Clark are good friends. Mr. Kent
has forbidden me to speak to him. I thought you might be willing to talk
to Clark, ask him to give me a chance.
Lex: Ms. Dunleavy, Jonathan Kent doesn't exactly see me as the ideal
role model for his son. I wouldn't want to get Clark in trouble by
encouraging him to defy his father.
Rachel: Even if it meant giving him a chance to know his real mother?
Lex: I'm sorry, but it's just not appropriate for me to get involved.
Rachel: I wasn't going to bring this up unless I had to, but I once
worked as a nurse for your mother.
Lex: You knew my mother?
Rachel: And your father. He and I became...very close. He got me
pregnant, and made me give the child up for adoption.
Lex: You're claiming that Clark....that Clark and I...
Rachel: He's your brother, Lex.
Lana: Chloe! Hey, I've been looking for you everywhere...
Lana: What's wrong?
Chloe: Clark and I just had a massive blow-out.
Lana: About what?
Chloe: His secrets... privacy...my pathological inability to curb my
curiosity. How are you?
Lana: Hey, we can talk about it later.
Chloe: No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dump on you.
Lana: If you can't dump on your friends...
Chloe: Exactly. So, what did you want to talk about?
Lana: His name's Henry Small.
Chloe: As in the Smallville Smalls?
Lana: Very own first family.
Chloe: Well, who's the hottie hanging all over him?
Lana: My mom.
Chloe: Oh, I'm--I'm sorry, Lana...
Lana: It's Okay. You didn't know. I think he may be my biological
father.
Chloe: Wow. You OK?
Lana: I think so. I want to find out everything there is to know about
him...and I thought...maybe you could help.
Lana: But if you don't feel comfortable, it's...
Chloe: Actually, I'm flattered. It's nice that someone trusts me enough
with their big family secret.
Lana: Then you'll do it?
Chloe: You know, I could tell you where he went to college, I can tell
you how many outstanding parking tickets he has...I can even pull up his
dental records and let you know if he flosses regularly. But, if you
really want to know who he is, I would suggest using the high tech
research device called...the doorbell.
Martha: Clark?
Jonathan: Grab a sack, son.
Clark: I just found out that Lionel Luthor was the one who founded
Metropolis United Charities. Why was he involved in my adoption?
Clark: Would somebody tell me what is going on?
Martha: Jonathan. He needs to know.
Jonathan: Alright. It was the day of the meteor shower....when I
realized that nothing was going to be normal around here again.
-
Martha: What's happening, Jonathan?
Jonathan: Martha?
Jonathan: Teddy!
Martha: Jonathan, watch out!
Lionel: Stop! Please! Help!
Jonathan: Are you alright?
Lionel: My son...
Jonathan: What about him? Is he hurt?
Lionel: He--he--I--I can't...
Jonathan: Mister, Mister calm down! Where is your son?
Lionel: He--he's in there.
Jonathan: Give me a hand.
Lionel: Wh-what happened to him? His...hair is...
Lionel: Can't we go any faster?
Jonathan: We're doing the best that we can.
Lionel: What are you carrying back there? It's slowing us down.
Jonathan: Hey...how's your--how's your son?
Lionel: He's in shock, but he'll survive. You saved him, acting so
quickly.
Jonathan: I'm glad I could help out.
Lionel: I'm sorry. I don't even know your name.
Jonathan: Jonathan Kent.
Lionel: Nice to meet you, Mr. Kent. If there is ever anything I can do
for you. Please. Call me. I mean that, Mr. Kent.
Clark: Dad, you were a hero. I don't know why you thought you had to
keep that a secret from me.
Jonathan: Ethan, is there, uh, something we can do for ya?
Ethan: Well, I'm sure you know there's a woman in town claiming to be
Clark's mother.
Ethan: But she's petitioned Judge Ross to order a DNA test.
Clark: But, that's crazy! She's not my mother!
Ethan: If that's true, then this test will prove it, son. Well, I can
have somebody come out and take the sample, get it to Metropolis
Genetics Lab, and, uh, they can run the test in the morning, and we can
get this thing over with quick. I'm sure you folks have nothing to be
afraid of.
Henry Small:...not to mention, it's an eyesore! You're dumping there!
What do you mean, that's it? I don't care what Lowell Country Water and
Power says, they are illegally dumping and I'm not going to sit here....
Hello? Hello?
Lana: Uh, Mr. Small?
Henry: What!
Henry: Oh... ha-ha. I'm sorry. Um...I'm not taking on any more law
students right now...
Lana: No, no...I'm not a law student.
Henry: Wait, I know you.
Lana: You do?
Henry: Yeah, you run the, uh, coffee place in town.
Lana: Uh, yeah, yeah, The Talon. I don't think I've seen you there.
Henry: And you never will. I boycott it.
Lana: Uh, do you have a thing against coffee?
Henry: No, I've got a thing against Luthors.
Lana: Lex Luthor's just a silent partner.
Henry: That's what the Vichys said about the Nazis. Look what happened
to France. I didn't catch your name.
Lana: Lana Lang. You knew my mother.
Henry: Where did you get this?
Lana: I found it. Did you love her?
Henry: What do you want me to say. It's ancient history. It doesn't
matter.
Mrs. Small: Henry? Can you stop saving the world for one minute and come
give me a hand, please?
Henry: Oh, okay honey. I'll be right there. Look, Lana....
Lana: I think you might be my father.
Mrs. Small: Honey, are you coming?
Henry: Yeah, I-I'll be one second. Look, Lana...you've made a mistake...
Lana: But I...
Henry: I...have a family now. Please, don't bother me again.
Nurse: There. Now that didn't hurt a bit, did it?
Ethan: I'll let you know.
Clark: Dad...
Jonathan: You had to do it Clark. If we'd have refused, they'd have
dragged us into court.
Martha: What happens when they start looking at Clark's DNA under a
microscope?
Clark: If I even have DNA.
Jonathan: That's why we have to make sure that nobody gets a chance to
analyze that sample.
Clark: This is it. There.
Pete: Man, this "Mission Impossible" stuff is great. But other than my
scintillating conversational skills, I still don't understand why you
brought me along.
Clark: I need your spit.
Clark: You can relax. We switched the sample. No one saw us.
Jonathan: Clark, I-I'm sorry to put you through all this.
Clark: It's not your fault, Dad. I guess it just comes with the
territory.
Jonathan: Yeah...uh, I'm gonna go work on the combine.
Clark: Everything's okay. Why does Dad still seem upset?
Martha: This has been tough on him. He always said making a deal with
the devil was going to come back to haunt us.
Clark: Then why did he do it. Come on Mom. Why'd you need Lionel
Luthor's help in the first place?
Martha: You have no idea the kind of pressure we were under... We
suddenly had this new little person in our home, and we didn't know what
to do with you. We were completely overwhelmed.
Martha: Thank goodness your mother was a pack rat.
Jonathan: Sweetheart, he's not ours to keep.
Martha: I just keep feeling there's a reason he's here. He's exactly
what I wished for in the flower shop.
Jonathan: Hey. Since when did Martha Kent believe in magic wands.
Martha: Since the moment I laid eyes on this little boy.
Jonathan: Get him upstairs. Hurry, go on. Uh, just a--just a second.
Ethan: Evening, Jonathan.
Jonathan: Ethan.
Ethan: I saw what was left of your truck out on Route 17. I wanted to
stop by and make sure you're alright.
Jonathan: Oh, yeah, we're, uh, a little banged up, but we're fine. Look,
I-I'm sure there are folks who need your attention a lot more than...
Ethan: Who's the little fella?
Martha: He got away from me. He's a strong little guy.
Jonathan: That's um...
Martha: Clark. I thought my family name would make a good first name.
Deputy, I would like you to be the first one in Smallville to meet our
son. Adopted, of course. Uh, we just brought him back from Metropolis
this morning.
Ethan: Well, I didn't know you folks were planning to adopt.
Jonathan: Oh, Ethan, you know us. We like to keep to ourselves, but it's
been in the works for quite a while.
Ethan: Well, congratulations. It's nice to see something good happen in
the middle of all this tragedy.
Martha: He was right. You were the one good thing that happened that
day.
Clark: So you just made it up, spur of the moment.
Martha: I couldn't say we found you in a cornfield. Once the words came
out, I-I knew we'd have to back them up eventually, so we called Lionel
Luthor, cashed in that favor. He arranged everything.
Clark: If everything worked out, why'd you keep it a secret?
Lex: Hey. I hope I'm not interrupting anything important.
Martha: Uh, not at all, Lex.
Lex: Ever wish you had a big brother to help you with your jump shot?
Clark: I think I've managed to become a pretty decent player on my own.
Lex: Rachel Dunleavy came to see me.
Lex: She says you and I have a few chromosomes in common. My father's
chromosomes to be exact.
Clark: You mean...
Lex: Personally, I think I got all the looks in the family.
Clark: Look, I don't know what happened between her and your father, but
she's not my mother.
Lex: Trust me, I'm as skeptical about her as you are. For all I know,
this is some elaborate scheme to win a paternity suit against my father.
Clark: Did you ask him about it?
Lex: I didn't want to make any accusations until I had more facts. It's
not hard to imagine. In the annals of extramarital exploits, my father
probably has his own chapter.
Clark: It doesn't bother you? I mean, I know how close you were to your
mother.
Lex: To the extent that it caused my mother pain? Sure, it bothers me.
But, unfortunately, not every marriage is quite as Rockwellian as
Jonathan and Martha Kent's.
Lex: Anyway, I told Ms. Dunleavy that in the 21st century, people
shouldn't be making claims like hers without the DNA evidence to back
them up. So, what do you think Clark? Is there a chance we could be
brothers?
Clark: As cool as that would be Lex, we're not.
Lionel: Rachel. When the guard called and told me you were down at the
gate, I didn't believe him. I thought we had an agreement.
Rachel: I just got the results from the DNA test. I don't know how, but
you did something to alter them.
Lionel: Did what? What are you talking about?
Rachel: Clark Kent is our son and you know that!
Lionel: You haven't changed, Rachel. You are still completely
irrational.
Rachel: No. The only irrational thing that I ever did was to let you rip
my child from my arms.
Lionel: You were well compensated and well taken care of.
Rachel: What, you think money made up for seven years in a psychiatric
ward?
Lionel: You needed help.
Rachel: No, what I needed was a home and a family. After you were
through with me, that was never going to happen. Not with Lucas, not
with anybody.
Lionel: Oh, why didn't you continue your treatment?
Rachel: I didn't need any treatment! You just wanted me out of the way.
Lionel: Classic denial.
Rachel: Oh, this isn't over Lionel. I'm going to expose you.
Lionel: Expose me--to whom? My wife is dead. You know that.
Lionel: Are you still as beautiful, Rachel?
Lionel: Oh, you were lovely. You have to move on. Forget the past. If
you need help, I'd be happy to call Dr. Fryberg. I'm sure he'd be more
than willing to make room for you at the clinic.
Lex: Ms. Dunleavy? Is everything alright? Whoa, whoa, whoa...ahh!
Rachel: There.
Lana: Wow, that is quite a catch.
Clark: Took all my strength to pull that one in. My dad even had to help
me land it.
Lana: You're lucky you've got such a great father. I heard you and Chloe
had a big fight. Don't worry. She didn't give me any details. I assume
that this is shrouded in the usual Kent cloak of secrecy.
Clark: Chloe promised not to look into my adoption, then she did. Now
I've got a woman in town claiming to be my mother.
Lana: Is there any chance?
Clark: No. Not in a million years.
Lana: So she just showed up out of the blue?
Clark: Yeah, she ambushed me at school. "Hi Clark, I'm your mother." I
mean, who does that?
Lana: Do you remember that guy in the photo with my mom? I kind of found
out who he was. His name's Henry Small. I went to his house.
Clark: How'd it go?
Lana: Well, uh, he hates the Talon, hates the Luthors, compared me to
the Nazis, and told me to never come back again.
Clark: That good, huh?
Clark: I'm sorry.
Lana: It's okay. I have done pretty well without a father this long. I
don't know why I thought I needed one now.
Clark: I do. Lana, we're different. We don't get to see our biological
parents every day, and see a little piece of who we are, who we may
become. If I had a chance to get to know my birth parents, I wouldn't
give up just because the first meeting didn't go the way I hoped.
Rachel: No, no, no, no, no.
Lex: Where am I?
Rachel: You're at my house. I bought it with the money that your father
gave me. I knew I'd need it one day, so I never spent it. I'm fixing it
up so that Clark would feel at home here.
Lex: I know how hard it must be.
Rachel: Oh, no, no. You don't. All those lost years.... Martha Kent
getting to bake the birthday cakes. Martha Kent getting to dry his
tears...
Lex: So that gives you the right to kidnap me?
Rachel: Well, believe me I didn't want to do this, but your father gave
me no choice.
Lex: Look, if my father's lying and Clark really is my brother, I want
to know just as much as you do. But how does holding me prisoner help
you?
Rachel: Because, Lex, either your father tells the truth, or he's going
to know the pain of losing his son.
Martha: What's wrong?
Lionel: Rachel Dunleavy. She's kidnapped Lex.
Martha: Oh my God.
Lionel: If I don't call a press conference announcing that Clark's
adoption was a sham and that he's my illegitimate son, she's...she's
going to kill Lex.
Clark: Chloe, I'm so glad I found you.
Chloe: Okay, there's a sentence I never thought I'd hear again.
Clark: We both did and said things that we regret. I know I did.
Chloe: Look, you have to believe that I would burn my press pass if I
thought it would come between us.
Clark: No you wouldn't. It's too much of who you are... And right now, I
need it.
Chloe: If Rachel Dunleavy did buy a house in Smallville, she'll be
listed with the county clerk. It's just going to take a minute to get a
hit.
Clark: Chloe, what I said about your mother...I was way out of line.
Chloe: It's cool. We all have family secrets I guess. She left when I
was five, so... I came downstairs and... There was my dad, trying to
make waffles. He never even really explained why she left. It was weird.
Clark: I'm sorry.
Chloe: It's just hard thinking you weren't good enough for someone to
love.
Clark: Don't ever think that.
Chloe: Oh. Uh, there is no record of Rachel Dunleavy.
Clark: Um...try the name Lucas Luthor.
Chloe: Okay. You're going to have to explain that one to me later. Oh.
Bingo. There's his address.
Lionel: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen for coming on such short notice.
I, um, I have an important announcement to make that concerns my family.
My son, Lex Luthor, has been kidnapped. I want to say to his
abductor.... I will never give in to your demands.
At his father's words, Lex gets a look of incredulous disbelief on his
face, and immediately begins struggling furiously against his bonds.
Rachel: No. Wha...no! NO! NO!
Lionel: If you harm him in any way, I will not rest until you are hunted
down and locked away. This time, forever.
Rachel: No! No! No! No!
Lionel: It has always been the policy in my company and my family never
to negotiate with kidnappers, terrorists...
Lex: Where are you going? No!
Rachel: Your father just killed you, Lex.
Rachel: Who are you?
Clark: That's what I've been trying to tell you. I'm not your son.
Rachel: No. Oh no...
Lana: If you guys need anything else, give me a shout.
Customer: Thanks.
Henry: Cute place. Very colorful.
Lana: Mr. Small.
Henry: Call me Henry.
Lana: Umm, can I... Can I get you a coffee? Of course, you wouldn't want
a coffee.
Henry: Regular coffee would be great. I got your letter. And yes, you
did ambush me... But from the way you describe yourself, it might just
be a habit you got from me.
Lana: So you are my father?
Henry: I don't know. But I'm willing to find out.
Martha: Rachel's been admitted to a private psychiatric clinic. Even if
she tries to explain what you did, nobody will believe her.
Clark: I really feel sorry for her.
Jonathan: I can't even imagine what it must've been like having to give
up that baby.
Martha: I'm just glad our own family is still in one piece.
Jonathan: Not even Lionel Luthor could tear us apart.
Clark: But Lionel helped us. Dad, why do you hate him so much?
Jonathan: The morning he came by with the adoption papers, I... thought
I'd never lay eyes on him again.
Lionel: Mr. Kent.
Jonathan: Mr. Luthor.
Lionel: Well, you can call me Lionel. Please.
Jonathan: Lionel.
Lionel: I think you'll find everything in order.
Jonathan: Oh, thank you. And thank you for bringing it out here
yourself. You really didn't have to do that.
Lionel: We're taking Lex back to Metropolis today.
Jonathan: Hey, that's fantastic. I'm glad your son is going to be all
right.
Lionel: Thank you, thank you.
Lionel: There is one thing I'd like you to do for me.
Jonathan: Yeah?
Lionel: I'm sure you've heard that the, uh, Ross brothers are having
second thoughts about selling me their factory. They don't want to sell
to an outsider. They're friends of yours, aren't they?
Jonathan: Yeah, yeah, they are.
Lionel: Talk to them, convince them that, uh I only have Smallville's
best interests at heart. I think it would make a difference.
Jonathan: Um, I-I really don't think that's... Really any of my
business, Mr. Luthor.
Lionel: I understand. I'd be careful with that certificate if I were
you. I wouldn't want the Department of Family Welfare to find out young
Clark's adoption is a sham.
Jonathan: W-wait, are you threatening me?
Lionel: Of course not. I'm just asking for a small favor.
Clark: So you did it. You convinced the Rosses to sell.
Jonathan: I helped the Luthors get a foothold in this community. The
smokestacks, the toxic dumping, all the people who were cheated,
including Pete's family. None of that would've happened if it weren't
for me.
Clark: Dad, you couldn't have known.
Jonathan: Nah, I should have known, Clark. I knew exactly what kind of
man Lionel Luthor was
Clark: Why didn't you tell me?
Jonathan: Because I knew that you would do exactly what you're doing
right now, which is blame yourself.
Clark: You were trying to protect me. It is my fault.
Jonathan: No. You never believe that. This was my decision. This is my
fault. Mine alone.
Lionel: Lex? That you?
Lex: Still alive and kicking, Dad. No thanks to you.
Lionel: You're a survivor, son. I knew she wasn't going to kill you.
Lex: Not for lack of trying.
Lionel: I couldn't give in to her. You must know that.
Lex: Like you did all those years ago?
Lionel: I, uh, loved your mother very deeply, Lex, but I was not a
perfect husband. I strayed. If you've never been tempted Lex, I'm sure
one day you will be.
Lex: We're not talking about me, Dad. We're talking about Rachel
Dunleavy. Did she bear your illegitimate son or not?
Lionel: I never knew she was pregnant. Then she reappeared one day with
a child she claimed was mine, demanding that I leave your mother and
marry her.
Lex: So you bribed her to give the child up for adoption.
Lionel: She was imbalanced. She threatened me. Your mother was too sick
to burden her with a scandal.
Lex: Your altruism is inspiring, Dad.
Lionel: I did what I thought best for everyone. I had the child placed
with a suitable family.
Lex: Not the Kents?
Lionel: The Kents? Don't be ridiculous.
Lex: Then where is he?
Lionel: He, um, died before his first birthday.
Lionel: Forgive me, Lex, I'm very tired. It's been a long day.
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