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Smallville Transcripts

"Pilot"

Provided by Suzanne

Lex:  I can't.

Lionel:  Luthors are not afraid. We don't have that luxury. We're leaders. You have a destiny, Lex. You're never going to get anywhere with your eyes closed.

Lana:  Abracadabra.

Jonathan:  Afternoon, Nell.

Nell:  Jonathan. Martha. What a surprise. What brings the reclusive Kents to town?

Martha:  Tulips. Red ones, if you have them.

Nell:  What about a tiger orchid?

Jonathan:  No thanks. Martha has her heart set on tulips.

Nell:  Yes, well, they are a very uncomplicated flower.

Martha:  That is a beautiful dress, Lana. Are you a princess?

Lana:  I'm a fairy princess.

Jonathan:  Hey, where are her parents?

Nell:  Oh, they're at the homecoming game with everyone else. I'm being the good aunt.

Martha:  Lana:  Do you want to make a wish?

Martha:  I would love to make a wish.

Lana:  Okay, abracadabra.

Jonathan:  I know what you wished for.

Martha:  I see a little face. It's all I ever wanted.

[ People cheering, horns honking ]

Jonathan:  Hey, looks like Smallville won again.

[ Starts engine ]

[ Cheering ]

[ Caws ]

Lionel:  Lex? Son? Now, where do I sign?

Farmer:  Right here, Mr. Luthor.

Voice: Help me.

Lex:  Huh?

Voice:  Help me, please.

[ Coughs ]

[ Gasping ]

Voice from above:  Hey...kid.

Lex:  Uhh!

Man:  Help me. Help me, please.

Lex:  Aah!

[ Murmuring ]

Nell:  What on god's earth?

Woman:  Hi, Lana.

Lana:  Mommy! Daddy!

[ Screaming ] Run! Run!

[ Screaming ]

Martha:  [ Crying ] What's happening, Jonathan?

[ Crash ]

Lionel:  Lex! Lex! Where are you? Lex? Lex?

[ Whimpering ]

[ Footsteps ]

Jonathan:  Martha? Kids just don't fall out of the sky, Martha.

Martha:  Then where did he come from?

Jonathan:  I don't know, but he must have parents.

Martha:  Well, if he does, they're definitely not from Kansas.

Jonathan:  Sweetheart, we can't keep him. What are we going to tell people -- we found him out in a field?

Martha:  We didn't find him. He found us.

Martha: Clark Kent, you're gonna be late for the bus!

Clark:  Coming, mom!

Martha: Unh-unh.

Clark:  It tastes better out of the bottle. 

Martha: Where'd you learn your manners?

Clark:  On a farm.

Jonathan:  Well, afternoon, sleepyhead.

Martha: Oh, don't forget -- I have class tonight, so you two are on your own, and don't order pizza. There's plenty of food in the fridge.

Jonathan:  Hey, what you got there, son?

Clark:  Permission slip. It's for the football team. Couple of spots opened up. They're having tryouts this afternoon. Come on, dad. You played football in high school.

Jonathan:  That was different, son.

Clark:  Why?

Jonathan:  You know why.

Clark:  I figure I'll run at half speed, and I won't hit anybody.

Jonathan:  Lot of things can happen in the heat of the game, son.

Clark:  Most new guys hardly even play. Chances are I'll ride the bench half the season. Dad, I can be careful.

Jonathan:  I know that you can be careful, but what if there's an accident? Look, uh... Clark, I know this has got to be really hard for you, but you got to just hang in there like we promised.

Clark:  I'm sick of hanging in there. All I want to do is go through high school without being a total loser.

[ Engine rumbling ]

Chloe:  I can't believe you bet against your best friend.

Pete:  Statistical fact. If Clark moved any slower, he'd be extinct.

[ Thump ]

Chloe:  Did you hear that?

Pete:  So, anyone ask you to the dance?

Chloe:  Not yet.

Pete:  If nothing pans out with you know who, maybe --

Chloe:  Pete, do you take a break from the soap opera in your head? I told you a hundred times, I'm not interested in Clark.

Pete:  Your vehement denial has been duly noted. Whew!  Hey, maybe you and I could go together. I mean, not as a date-date thing. More of a friend-friend thing.

Clark:  Hi, guys.

Chloe:  Wha-- uh, didn't you just -- weren't you --

Clark:  I took a shortcut.

Chloe:  Through what, a black hole?

Pete:  Clark... you have to excuse our intrepid reporter. Seems as though her weird-ar is on DefCon 5. She thought someone was attacking the bus.

Chloe:  Just because everyone else chooses to ignore the strange things that happen in this leafy little hamlet doesn't mean that they don't happen.

Pete:  Now, you know we'd love to join you and Scooby inside the mystery machine for another zany adventure, but we got to hand in these permission slips before homeroom.

Clark:  Actually, Pete, I'm having second thoughts. I don't think signing up for the team is such a great idea.

Pete:  Clark, listen, this is the only way.

Chloe:  Wait, wait, wait, wait. You two are trying out for the football team? What is this, some sort of teen suicide pact? Ha ha ha. Ahh.

Pete:  We're trying to avoid becoming this year's scarecrow.

Chloe:  What are you talking about and why are we whispering?

Pete:  It's a homecoming tradition. Every year before the big game, the football players select a freshman, take him out to Reilly field, strip him down to his boxers, then paint an "s" on his chest.

Clark:  And then string him up like a scarecrow.

Chloe:  Jeez, that sounds like years of therapy waiting to happen.

Pete:  Why do you think we're trying out for the team? Figure they won't choose one of their own. 

Clark:  I'll see you guys in class.

Chloe:  Bye.

Pete:  Give him 10 seconds.

Chloe:  Five.

Pete:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 --

Boy:  Nice, man.

Pete:  Statistical fact. Clark Kent can't get within 5 feet of Lana Lang without turning into a total freak show.

Lana:  Nietzsche. Didn't realize you had a dark side, Clark.

Clark:  Doesn't everybody?

Lana:  Well, I guess so.   So, what are you, man or superman?

Clark:  I haven't figured it out yet.

Whitney:  Lana, there you are.  Hey, Clark. I was wondering if you could do me a humongous favor. Could you check over my English paper? I didn't finish it till 2:00 A.M., So I'm not too sure about the ending.

Lana:  I bet it's great.

Whitney:  Dude, are you feeling all right? You look like you're about to -- to hurl.

Clark:  I'm fine.

Whitney:  You forgot one, Clark.

[ Bell rings ]

Jeremy: Sit in the back with me.  It's payback time.

Lex:  Thanks, Dad.

[ Whistle blows ] Ready! Down! Set! Hike!

Boy: Whitney! Whitney, I'm open! Victory. Red and gold, no doubt. We're here to win one out.

[ Cheering ]

[ Whistle blows ]

Hut! Hut!

[ Marching band playing ]

[ Cheering ]

[ Whistles blows ]

Lana: I knew you could do it, Clark.

[ Chanting ] Clark! Clark! Clark! Clark! Clark!

Pete:  Clark.  How do I look?

Clark:  Like a tackle dummy. Good luck.

[ Cellular phone rings ]

[ Tires screeching ]

Clark:  Come on, don't die on me.

[ Coughs ]

Lex:  I could have sworn I hit you.

Clark:  If you did, I'd be -- I'd be dead.

Jonathan:  Clark! Son, are you all right?

Clark:  Yeah, I'm okay.

Jonathan:  Who's the maniac that was driving that car?

Lex:  That would be me. Lex Luthor.

Jonathan:  I'm Jonathan Kent. This is my son.

Lex:  Thanks for saving my life.

I'm sure you would have done the same thing.

Lex:  You have quite an extraordinary boy there, Mr. Kent. If there's any way I could repay you --

Jonathan:  Drive slower.

Whitney:  Hey.

Lana:  Whitney, my aunt will be back any minute.

Whitney:  Oh, come on. We're living life on the edge.

Lana:  Yeah, well, if Nell finds us out here, your life won't be worth living.

Whitney:  Where is she, anyway -- bridge club?

Lana:  Lex Luthor's.

Whitney:  I didn't know your aunt was in with the Luthors.

Lana:  She sold them a ton of land.

Whitney:  They own the metropolis sharks. She could put in a good word for me.

Lana:  If you want someone to put in a good word, ask Clark. He saved Lex's life today.

Whitney:  You're kidding. Sometimes people can surprise you.

Lana:  I think it's kind of cool.

Whitney:  Coach said a scout from Kansas state is coming to the game on Saturday.

Lana:  That's great.

Whitney:  Yeah. I don't want be a "remember him." Smallville's got enough of those guys.

Lana:  I want you to wear this to the game on Saturday.

Whitney:  I can't take this.

Lana:  You can give it back after you win.

Whitney:  Is it really made from a piece of the meteor that, you know --

Lana:  So much bad luck came out of it. There can only be good luck left.

[ Rock music plays ]

[ Engine turns over ]

Frank:  Jeez, kid. You scared the crap out of me.  Don't I know you? You look like that scarecrow kid.   Where the hell you been?  Hey, freakazoid, wake up. Ahh!  That was 12 years ago, man. It was just a game.  What do you want?

Jeremy:  To play.

[ Screaming ]

Clark:  Hey, Mom. Whose truck?

Martha:  Yours. It's a gift from Lex Luthor.

Clark:  "Dear Clark, drive safely. Always in your debt, the maniac in the Porsche." I don't believe it. Where are the keys?

Martha:  Your father has them.

Jonathan:  [ Turns off chipper ] I know how much you want it, son, but you can't keep it.

Clark:  Why not? I saved the guy's life.

Jonathan:  So you think you deserve a prize?

Clark:  That's not what I meant.  Look, how about you drive the new one and I'll drive the old one? Everybody wins.

Jonathan:  This is not about winning, Clark.

Clark:  It's not like the Luthors can't afford it. 

Jonathan:  [ Sighs ] Do you want to know why that is? Do you remember Mr. Bell? We used to go fishing on his property. How about Mr. Guy? He used to send us pumpkins every Halloween. Well, Lionel Luthor promised to cut them in on a deal. He sent them flashy gifts. Once they'd sold their property, he went back on his word. He had them evicted, son.

Clark:  So you're judging Lex on what his father did?

Jonathan:  No, Clark, I'm not. I just want to make sure that you know where the money came from that bought that truck.  [ Sighs ] Clark, I know you're upset, son, but it's normal.

Clark:  Normal? [ Turns on chipper ] How about this? Is this normal?

Jonathan:  Clark!

[ Gears grinding ]

Clark:  I didn't dive in after Lex's car. It hit me at 60 miles an hour. Does that sound normal to you? I'd give anything to be normal.

Jonathan:  It's time, son.

Clark:  Time for what?

Jonathan:  The truth. I want you to take a look at something. I think it's from your parents, your -- your real parents.

Clark:  What does it say?

Jonathan:  I tried to decipher it for years, but it's not written in any language known to man.

Clark:  What do you mean?

Jonathan:  Your real parents weren't exactly from around...here.

Clark:  Where are they from? What are you trying to tell me, Dad -- that I'm from another planet? And I suppose you stashed my spaceship in the attic.

Jonathan:  Actually, it's in the storm cellar. This is how you came into our world, son. It was the day of the meteor shower.

Clark:  Wait. This is a joke, right? Why didn't you tell me about this before?

Jonathan:  We wanted to protect you.

Clark:  Protect me from what? You should have told me!

Jonathan:  Clark. Clark!

[ Twig snaps ]

Lana:  Who's there?

Clark:  It's me. Clark.

Lana:  Clark Kent? What are you doing creeping around the woods?

Clark:  You'd never believe me if I told you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

Lana:  Clark, wait. I just wasn't expecting to see anyone out here.  Are you okay?

Clark:  I'm hanging out in a graveyard. Does that strike you as "okay" behavior?

Lana:  Hey. I'm here, too.

Clark:  Good point.  What's your story?

Lana:  Can you keep a secret?

Clark:  I'm the Fort Knox of secrets.

Lana:  I... came out here to talk with my parents. You must think I'm pretty weird. You know, conversing with dead people.

Clark:  No, I-I don't think you're weird, Lana. Do you remember them?

Lana:  They died when I was 3.

Clark:  I'm sorry.

Lana:  It's not your fault, Clark. Come on. I'll introduce you. Mom, Dad -- this is Clark Kent. Say hi.

Clark:  Hi.

Lana:  Yeah, he is kind of shy. How should I know? Mom wants to know if you're upset about a girl.

Clark:  No.

Lana:  Dad wants to know if you're upset about a guy.

Clark:  No, no.

Lana:  [ Laughs ] He has a twisted sense of humor. Seriously, Clark... why are you out here?

Clark:  Lana, you ever feel like your life was supposed to be something different?

Lana:  Sometimes I dream I'm at school, waiting for Nell to pick me up, but she doesn't come, so my parents drive up. They're not dead. They're just really late. Then I get in their car and we drive back to my real life in metropolis. That's usually when I wake up. But for a minute, I'm totally happy, until I realize I'm still alone.

Clark:  What's that, Mrs. Lang? Yeah, I'll -- I'll tell her. Your mom wants you to know that you're never alone, that she's always looking over you, no matter what. What's that, Mr. Lang? Your dad thinks you're a shoo-in for homecoming queen.

Lana:  They really say all that?

Clark:  Oh, yeah. They're quite chatty once you get them started.

Lana:  Thanks for walking me home.

Clark:  Beats creeping around the woods.

Lana:  You realize this is the longest conversation we've ever had? We should do it again.

Clark:  Yeah, we should.  So are you going to the dance?

Lana:  Yeah, with Whitney.

Clark:  Right. Of course.

Lana:  How about you?

Clark:  Nah. Figured I'd sit it out.

Lana:  Well... if you change your mind, I might save you a dance. Good night, Clark.

Clark:  Hello? Hello?

Lex:  Clark? I didn't see you.

Clark:  I, uh, buzzed but no one answered.

Lex:  How'd you get through the gate?

Clark:  I kind of squeezed through the bars. If this is a bad time --

Lex:  oh, no, no, I think Heiki has sufficiently kicked my ass for the day.

Clark:  This is a great place.

Lex:  Yeah? If you're dead and in the market for something to haunt.

Clark:  Well, I meant it's roomy.

Lex:  It's the Luthor ancestral home, or so my father claims. He had it shipped over from Scotland, stone by stone.

Clark:  Yeah, the trucks rolled through town for weeks, but no one ever moved in.

Lex:  My father had no intention of living here. He's never even stepped through the front door.

Clark:  Then why he'd ship it over?

Lex:  Because he could. How's the new ride?

Clark:  That's why I'm here.

Lex:  What's the matter? You don't like it?

Clark:  No, it's not that. I can't keep it.

Lex:  Clark, you saved my life. I think it's the least I can do. Your father doesn't like me, does he? It's okay. I've been bald since I was 9. I'm used to people judging me before they get to know me.

Clark:  It's nothing personal. He's just not crazy about your dad.

Lex:  He figures the apple doesn't fall far from the tree? Understandable. What about you, Clark? Did you fall far from the tree?

Clark:  I better go. Thanks for the truck.

Lex:  Clark... do you believe a man can fly?

Clark:  Sure, in a plane.

Lex:  No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about soaring through the clouds with nothing but air beneath you.

Clark:  People can't fly, Lex.

Lex:  I did. After the accident, when my heart stopped. It was the most exhilarating two minutes of my life. I flew over Smallville, and for the first time, I didn't see a dead end. I saw a new beginning. Thanks to you, I have a second chance. We have a future, Clark... and I don't want anything to stand in the way of our friendship.

Excuse me, people.

Pete:  That's the third guy this week.

Chloe:  And they're all former jocks.

Pete:  Who's the weirdo?

Chloe:  I don't know. Let's check him out.  [ Siren wails ]

Chloe:  His name's Jeremy Creek. This is a picture of him 12 years ago. This is one I took four hours ago.

Clark:  That's impossible. He'd be, like, 26 today.  Must be a kid who looks like him.

Pete:  My money was on the evil-twin theory, till we checked his missing persons.

Chloe:  Jeremy disappeared from the state infirmary a few days ago, where he'd been in a coma for 12 years. They say he suffered from massive electrolyte imbalance.

Pete:  That's why he hasn't aged a day.

Clark:  So you're telling me he just woke up.

Chloe:  Well, no, there was a huge electrical storm, and the hospital's generator went down, and when it came back on, Jeremy was gone.

Pete:  Electricity must have charged him up like a Duracell.

Clark:  And now he's back in Smallville, putting former jocks into comas.  Why?

Pete:  Because 12 years ago today, they chose Jeremy creek as the scarecrow.

Clark:  "Comatose boy found in field 20 yards from meteor strike."

Chloe:  The exposure to the blast must have done something to his body.

Clark:  No, this can't be right.

Pete:  I think you ought to show him.

Clark:  Show me what?

It started out as a scrapbook and just kind of mutated.

Clark:  What is it?

Chloe:  I call it "the wall of weird." It's every strange, bizarre, and unexplained event that's happened in Smallville since the meteor shower. That's when it all began -- when the town went schizo. So what do you think?

Clark:  Why didn't you tell me about this?

Chloe:  Do you tell me everything that happens in your life? We all keep secrets, Clark.

Clark:  Lana?  My fault. It's all my fault.

[ Cheering ] Go crows!

Clark:  Chloe, just leave me alone.

Whitney:  Congratulations, Clark. You're this year's scarecrow.

Clark:  Don't mess with me right now.

Whitney:  Come on. Bring it on.  What's going on with you and Lana?

Clark:  Nothing.

Whitney:  Huh? Like her necklace? Huh? Good. 'Cause that's as close as you're ever going to get to her.

[ Rock music blaring ]

[ Breathing raggedly ]

Jeremy:  It never changes.

Clark:  Help me.

Jeremy:  Hurts, doesn't it?

Clark:  You -- you're -- you're Jeremy.

Jeremy:  I thought if I'd punish them, it would stop, but it never stops. 

Clark:  Wait. Where are you going?

Jeremy:  Homecoming dance. I never made it to mine.

Clark:  Get me down, please.

Jeremy:  You're safer here.

Clark:  Help me. Help me.

Lex:  Clark? Aw, jeez. Who did this to you?

Clark:  Doesn't matter. Oof!

Lex:  Clark, you need to see a doctor.

Clark:  I'll be okay.

Lex:  Well, at least let me give you a ride.

Maybe one thing

maybe something

maybe nothing

all I know is, friend

Clark:  Jeremy. You need to stop this.

Jeremy:  I don't know how you got here. You should have stayed away.

Clark:  I won't let you hurt my friends.

Jeremy:  Those people in there aren't your friends. The sprinklers will get them nice and wet. I'll handle the rest.

Clark:  They never did anything to you.

Jeremy:  I'm not doing this for me. I'm doing this for you, and for all the others like us. What happened to you was my fault. I can understand your pain.

Clark:  I'm not in pain.

Jeremy:  I have a gift and a purpose and a destiny.

Clark:  So do I. Give it up, Jeremy. [ Engine starts ] Are you okay?

Jeremy:  Who are you? Where am I?

Clark:  I'm Clark Kent, and you're in Smallville.

Jeremy:  I want to go home.

You taught me how to love

and what it's of

what it's of

you never said so much

but still you showed the way

and so I knew

from watching you

nobody else can ever know

the part of me...

[ Soft music playing ]

You calm the storms

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Students:  [ Laughter ] What is that?!  [ Laughing ] Trucks.

Whitney:  Who did this to my truck?

Students:  [ Laughter continues ] Oh. Yeah. The one on top. That's cool.

Jonathan: Your grandfather gave me that telescope when I was about your age. I came downstairs for breakfast one morning, and there it was. Are you okay?

Clark:  Can I answer that in about five years?  [ Chuckles ] Yeah. Dad... I'm glad you and Mom were the ones that found me.

Jonathan: We didn't find you, Clark. You found us.

Lana:  I didn't see you tonight, Clark.

You hold me in your hands I saved you that dance.

You still my heart

and you takemy breath away

would you take me in?

Take me deeper now

Lana:  Is everything okay, clark?

And how can I stand it's perfect.

And not be moved by it?

[ Horns honk pele cheering ]

Would you tell me

how could it be any better than this?

And how can I stand herewith you

and not be moved by you

Clark:  It's perfect. [ Horns honking, people cheering ] Thanks for the dance, Lana.

---

Main picture from Devoted to Smallville

Screen Caps from Smallville Dedication

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