Thanks to efanguide.com for the transcripts
Quote of the Episode 1.1 Truth Be Told
MAN:
Who are you working for? I'll not ask you again.
SYDNEY: Okay. Get a pen.
(He sits down and does so, taking out a pad of paper.)
SYDNEY: Write this down. E-M-E-T-I-B. You got that?
MAN: Yes.
SYDNEY: Okay. Now reverse it.
(He does. BITE ME. She laughs, he puts the pad away.)
Quote of the Episode 1.2 So It Begins
(In his office, Vaughn twirls a half dollar coin between
his fingers, looking worried and impatient. Agent Weiss walks in. Vaughn
sighs.)
WEISS: Any word from her yet?
VAUGHN: No. I don't expect to hear anything 'til she gets back.
(Beat.)
WEISS: Your girlfriend's name is Alice, right?
VAUGHN: Would you shut up?
WEISS: I'm just checking to see--
VAUGHN: (good-naturedly) Get out of my office!
Quote of the Episode 1.3 Parity
WILL: So, it's two thousand words or less on gene
sequencing in virus-resistant cabbages, all right? And I'm realizing slowly
that I might not have a real handle on the situation.
Quote of the Episode 1.4 A
Broken Heart
VAUGHN: (To Sydney) Okay, listen to me. There's
something you need to know. When you first walked into my office with that
stupid Bozo hair, I thought you were crazy. I thought you might actually be a
crazy person. But I watched you, and I read your statement, and I've seen...
I've seen how you think, I've seen how you work, I've
seen how you are in this job. In this job, you see darkness. You see the worst
in people and though the jobs are different and the missions change, and the
enemies have a thousand names, the one crucial thing, the one real
responsibility you have is to not let your rage, and your resentment, and your
disgust, darken you. When you're at your absolute lowest, at your most
depressed, just remember that you can always... you know. You got my number.
Quote of the Episode 1.5 Doppelganger
WILL: Okay, now, here's my question. Who eats this crap?
I mean, it's like Marzipan, but it's worse. If it's
a question between this or, like, dirt, I would be all over the dirt.
FRANCIE: Would you shut up about the candy corn?
Quote of the Episode 1.6 Reckoning
SYDNEY: Raid my closet!
FRANCIE: Thanks, but, I got boobs.
Quote of the Episode 1.7 Color Blind
(At Thanksgiving)
SYDNEY: What's burning?
FRANCIE: It's just a little oven fire.
SYDNEY: Francie, I just moved in here!
FRANCIE: I fricasseed the turkey.
Quote of the Episode 1.8 Time will Tell
(During a test run of a lie detector test)
VAUGHN: Are you romantically interested in anyone?
(Sydney gives him a look.)
VAUGHN: Could be a question.
SYDNEY: No, I'm not.
(Fifty-six.)
VAUGHN: Interesting.
SYDNEY: Wait, ask me that again.
VAUGHN: No, I don't have to. We have our answer right here. That's very good.
Moving on.
SYDNEY: Hey.
Quote of the Episode 1.9 Mea Culpa
(After a suspected hit on Sydney)
WEISS: Oy. I just lost thirty
pounds. Okay, I'm not kidding.
Quote of the Episode 1.10 Spirit
(While Will is talking to Sydney in her room)
FRANCIE: (off screen) WILL!
WILL: (shouts back) Okay! Iron Chef in there needs me.
Quote of the Episode 1.11 The
Confession
(Telling Vaughn about a bad guy from a mission)
SYDNEY: He licked my face.
VAUGHN: I understand.
SYDNEY: You don't really. He licked my face.
Quote of the Episode 1.12
The Box, Part One
(Vaughn and Weiss Talk)
VAUGHN: It's a weird thing. You know, when you're
learning how your father died. I... it's always been this intellectual idea I
had, knowing he died, just not having any details.
WEISS: You really want some space, or are you and I going to go get drunk?
'Cause there's this bar, you won't even remember it tomorrow.
Quote of the Episode 1.13
The Box, Part Two
(After capturing Sydney, forces her to drink champagne.)
COLE: It was good to see you in the office again,
Pigtails. I know you didn't want to kiss me, but when I was taking a hit off
that bottle before? I backwashed in it. I mean,
like, really big-time. See ya!
Quote of the Episode 1.14 The
Coup
SYDNEY: Don't start defending your thing with Jenny.
She's not in your league and you know it.
WILL: Who's in my league? What league? Show me a league and I'll buy a ticket,
I'll go to the meetings and I will try and find those people. Where are they?
Quote of the Episode 1.15
Page 47
MARSHALL: Yes. Um, actually, I'm sure we have all seen
the classic movie "My Fair Lady." You remember... (in
cockney accent) Professah
'enry 'iggins,
educatin' Eliza Dolittle.
"You talk propah!" Of course, my favorite Rex
Harrison film is "Dr. Dolittle," which always kind
of threw me because Eliza Dolittle, Dr.
Dolittle. Dolittle,
Dolittle. Was that on purpose, conspiracy�
Quote of the Episode 1.16 The
Prophecy
(Francie�s getting ready to
go to a Laker�s game with Will)
FRANCIE: Did you know his parents named him after steak?
Kobe. They saw it on a Japanese menu.
SYDNEY: No, I didn't know that.
FRANCIE: He's the perfect guy for someone like me. Plays ball, and is named
after food.
Quote of the Episode 1.17 Q &A
(Jack interrogates Haladki)
JACK: Just so we're clear: you report this
conversation, you'll never wear a hat again.
HALADKI: I got it! No worries! I got it!
Quote of the Episode 1.18
Masquerade
(Marshall bursts in the briefing room, his face covered
in welts.)
MARSHALL: Hi. Sorry I'm late. And sorry that I have hives.
I'm developing a dermal pigment capsule and, you know... not quite right. It
reacted... you know, just never mind. And,
y'know, it'll be gone in a couple hours so...
excuse me.
(He sits down sheepishly.)
Quote of the Episdoe 1.19
Snowman
MARSHALL: (To Sloane) Listen, I know I've been somewhat
impressed with myself in the past, but this time I am, like, freaking out
about it.
Quote of the Episode 1.20 The
Solution
(Will and Fracie investigate
a rat sighting in her apartment)
WILL: Okay, I'm going to go to the hardware store. I'll
go get some traps.
FRANCIE: No, no, no. We need a professional. We need a hit man. If there's
one, there are a thousand. Rats breed hourly.
Quote of the Episode 1.21
Rendezvous
(Will walks up to a mirror and talks to it. We pull back
to reveal that he's in the CIA safehouse in LA. A
few CIA agents sit behind the mirror, watching Will.)
WILL: Hey, guys. Is there a food situation? Is there any chance I can get
something to eat? Like a burger or something? I'm easy. (shrugs)
Quote of the Episode 1.22
Almost Thirty Years
SYDNEY: Hi. How did you find me?
VAUGHN: You told me a couple of months ago that when you
feel the need to disappear, you go to the observatory. But the observatory was
closed. And then I remembered you said the pier calms you down. But you
weren't there. And you weren't at the bluffs and the palisades, either.
SYDNEY: You didn't really go to all those places.
VAUGHN: Yeah, I did. And then I remembered you liked the train station, too.
Normal people going to their normal jobs.
SYDNEY: I can't believe you remember that.
