Port Charles
My One and Only True Love
by Niki

I do not know how to say good-bye. I do not want to, but I guess its
time for me to do just that, if its possible. I love each and every
one of you. I have cried with you, been mad at some, went through bad,
good, and even scary times with you. I have experienced all of it with
you from tears of sadness to tears of joy.

This time there will be no train ride that stops this nightmare, no going
back. The train stops here and everyone will go their separate ways. I
will still be stuck here exactly where I have always been. In the same
exact place that you saved me from. The only difference this time is
there will be nothing that can or will save me. Full of pain and hatred
for the person who caused this to happen and eventually the hatred will
win out.

They have taken everything away from me, all of you, my sanity, my
happiness, my reason to live. There is one thing that they can never take
from me and that is the love I have for you. I feel there is nothing left
to fight for but there has to be some justice to be had. So I will fight
until the day I die for the one thing that has made me happier than
anything. You are my one true love and that will not change or ever go
away. It will not ease with time either.

You will be in my heart forever, never to be forgotten. My love and
devotion will remain the same for all of eternity.

On Being Told to Get Over It  (PC’s cancellation)

You do not know me.

Obviously you don’t know me at all. Stupid questions are being asked.
You ask stupid questions, you will get a stupid answer. Some things are
better left alone and unsaid. Some people are better left alone. If you
don’t know what’s wrong with me by now then you never really knew me
at all. Can’t you take a hint? Get a clue and go away, just leave me
alone. Don’t ask me if I’m okay, what’s wrong, or other stupid
questions that pertain to that. I am not okay and never will be and you
know that and know why so why do you keep asking me these questions?
Its annoying. Do not tell me to snap out of it, get over it or get a
grip. If it was that easy then all the shrinks would have a cure, now
wouldn’t they. So YOU snap out of it! YOU get over it! YOU get a
g*ddamn grip and leave me the f*ck alone.

How Can I Go On?

How do you go on when you have been ripped in half? A part of you is
gone. You don’t know who are you anymore because you are not whole.
You’re not complete.

You sit here and catch yourself staring off at nothing, thinking nothing.
You wonder what you’re doing. How did the unthinkable happen?

How do you function when your battery goes dead and cannot be re-charged
or replaced? Like a car with no motor, therefore it will not run.

Do you wait listlessly for death to descend upon you? Wishing you could
go to sleep and never wake up?

People say you are never given anything you can't handle or that nothing
happens to you that you can't handle. Well I say that is bullsh*t.

Take your words and go tell them to someone else. I don’t want to hear
your psychobabble. When did you get your degree in psychology?

Keep fooling yourselves with that sh*t and those excuses. You don’t
know me and I don’t want to know you. You think you know, but you
don’t know sh*t.

Just shut up! Don’t talk to me! Go console someone else with your lies
that you believe in.

Page updated 8/21/14

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