One Life to Live Best Lines Thursday 8/21/08

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Provided By Michelle

Tina: [Scoffs] Look, Jessica, I know you're upset right now, but all I was going to do is let David Vickers sniff around that basement. What's wrong with that?

Tess: [As Jessica] What's wrong? He pees on things. He -- he has fleas. Listen, just keep him on a leash, keep him off the counter, and keep him out of my way.

Tina: But you used to love dogs. I mean, you were always bothering your parents to get you a dog.

Tess: Ok, that's not a dog. That's a rodent. And if you want to let him down in the basement, that's fine. Let a big rat bite him, then he won't come back.

Tina: Don't ever talk to my dog that way. What has gotten into you?

Tess: Nobody invited you here, Tina, let alone your little David Vickers' namesake. Listen, Lois is on vacation, and I'm not going to be cleaning up after you, ok? And I'm sure as hell not going to be cleaning up that one's --

Tina: Hey, hey. Nobody ever asked you to.

Tess: Look, you came here to get a free ride off my mother, and she's not here. So why don't you just go and sleep on your daughter's couch, if Sarah even wants you.

Tina: This is my home, too, and Natalie and Jared told me to make myself at home.

Tess: Of course they did. Of course, they did. You suck up to them every chance you get, and Natalie hasn't figured out that you're going to hop into bed with her little boy toy quicker than she can say uncle.

Tina: You know, Viki's heart would be broken if she knew that you were talking to her sister like this.

Tess: Please, it's not even her heart, lady.

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