Passions Update Thursday 4/17/03
Pictures by Juanita
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The episode opens with everything black and white. Theresa, a moment earlier, was in Sheridan=B9s cottage. She walks through a door after smelling
Tabitha's potpourri. It induces a walking nightmare of sorts. Theresa is dressed in rages and is in a small, dilapidated room. She hears Little Ethan crying and goes to tend to him but he is gone. She frantically searches for him. A ominous voice laughs at her plight. Theresa is aware that something odd has just happened.
Suddenly the TV turns on and in color. It is an episode of Boozebournes a parody of The Osbournes. We watch a man who appears to be Julian dressed in black with long dark hair and dark glasses. He mutters in a British accent wondering around somewhere that looks like the kitchen of the Osbournes. Julian complains about the trash and falls in and calls out Karen, Karen. Great set - Lots of blips to not allow us to hear the foul language.
Next we find ourselves at the dock with Charlie bludgeoning two Blondie Dolls with a brick. Hank comes over, after speaking with a blonde friend of his has told him about a creepy customer. She continues to whack away at them stating that blondes must die. Charlie is clearly repelled by him. She feels that the world does not need another man with a badge. (He is attending the police academy) we flash back to where she was with Beth and their plan to kill Sheridan.
Beth and her not-so-loving mother speak just out of earshot of Louise and Precious. Beth threatens her with the state institution after Mother states that she will not allow her to kill Sheridan and her baby. Beth tell her mother that Charlie hates her almost as much as she does because she reminds her of her own mother and would be more than willing to kill if she doesn't. Behind Beth is an armoire that is open filled with banana peals from Precious. Luis walks to where they are with Precious' arms wrapped him. Luis tries to talk reason to the orangutan about her attractions to him while Beth and Mommy Dearest bicker on.
Sheridan's cottage again. She enters her room and reassures herself that the clowns in the dream could not really hurt her. Antonio awakes and they speak about Tabby's gift. Sheridan then tells in graphic detail of her bizarre dream of two evil clowns breaking into the cottage. Lights bounce off of a disco ball and then there was calliope music and then the clowns start attacking her with syringes. Sheridan takes confront in Antonio's arms. She shuts her eyes and the two evil clowns reappear from under the bed. Insert scary calipee music.
Back at the dock, Charlie regales him with a tale of how the dolls are like video games to her and that it relieves tension. He warns that if she causes a real blond to die she could wind up in jail. He wants her to get some counseling for her anger and demonstrates some really concern for her welfare. She flashes her rage back at him and says "You would love to see another women go to jail. Don't deny it. Men want women in prison so they can control them. Men attack women." He reassures that he wants her to not go there. She backs off and agrees that she needs counseling. He gives her his number so that he can be reached if she needs him. Charlie rips it when he is gone and refers to his blond hair and states that she will be better after Sheridan is dead and smiles.
Mrs. Wallace and Beth enters the room where Precious is holding Luis' hand and he is fending her off. Mrs. Wallace tell him again about the plot. Beth gets Precious to take her mother in another room. She goes over to Luis and asks him if can see how much worse she is getting. She speaks about the hospital and medication. It is a veiled threat to her mother winding up a vegetable through the help of chemicals.
Back in Theresa nightmare, she again attempts to look for her baby and to stop watching that ridiculous program. Everything is still black and white and she can escape the room. She is pushed into a chair and the voice tells her that if she wants to find her son to watch. Full parody credits begin to roll of the Boozebournes: Karen (Rebecca), Shelly (Gwen sticking out her tongue) Mac (wearing a gasmask over his face so we do not know who it is) lastly Boozy (Julian). "Wacky that's how it goes, the members of this family all have webbed toes," sings the theme of the show. When last we saw Boozy he was in the trash. We see Mac enter still wearing the mask and caring a gun. Instead of helping he takes pictures. Bleep Bleeping beep.
Sheridan and Antonio again still in bed speaking still of the dream and how it may have been caused by little Ethan's toy clown that was also on the couch. We pan over to an open window; enter the two evil clowns with calipee music. Sheridan is shocked to see them in her room.
Back to Theresa's dream, she is confused about what watching the TV show has to do with her son. Boozy stomps the trash and swears more. Karen (Rebecca) finally shows up and tell him that the pet physics lost her connection when he called her. He claims that the trash is trying to kill him. Boozy falls again this time into dog bowl. Shelly (Gwen) comes in ranting about who has pinched her scotch and how she can not write a hit song sober. Mac and Shelly fight -- Bleep bleep bleep. Shelly tells him to shut up Little Ethan in a mocking tone. They all turn shocked that she has dared to call him that name. Music plays loudly. Karen tell her that no one is ever to call Mac that. Theresa is puzzled by this even more than before.
The evil clowns gas Sheridan from a horn and she is carried out the window to the forest.
Back at the Bozzebournes, they deal with her name-calling. Boozy makes sounds or is it groans. (I think it will turn out to really be Jack Osborne) Shelly tells everyone that she doesn't really care and that she must practice for concert and that she is on the cover of Kung Fu Fighting. Shelly does something akin to dance/kung fu to the song "Kung Fu fighting." Mac attacks her and Shelly complains in the Osborne way to mother. All of a sudden Boozy, Mac and Karen are on the sofa and again music plays- Rawhide - several dogs and few cats rush in.
Luis asks Beth if it necessary to put her mother is a state institution. She has no money. Hank drops by. He is a little taken aback by the monkey. Precious checks out Luis behind by lifting his jacket. Hank wants to know if there is something he needs to share.
Back at the dock Charlie douses the dolls with acid and tells all blond bitches to die.
Sheridan is put down so that the clowns can have a little drinky. She runs for it and cries for help. Calliope music plays but just when Sheridan thought she had lost then they grab her. They again smoke her and carry her away, this time into a building that we do not recognize.
Back with Theresa watching The Boozebournes. Animals everywhere. The animals have pee frenzy all over everywhere and everything. They play Wipe Out during the scene. The animals are chased out again running over Shelly. "Are you alright" Boozy asks. "Oh yeah I just loved to be trampled on," she answers. Mac helps her up and tells of course she does, because she a tramp. "Virgin!" Shelly spits back. Bleep bleep beep. They clean up the mess up uses Boozy polloties pants again. Boozy again falls into the dog food. Theresa, teary-eyed, wants to know why she has to watch the show. The doorbell rings and Theresa enters the Boozebournes house proclaims that she is going to take back her son. Boozy again makes intelligible sounds and Karen asks Shelly what her dad is saying. Don't ask me I have not understood him since the 5th grade. Mac pipes up with you haven't been sober since the 5th grade. Bleep you. Even Theresa bleeps at them. Theresa is puzzled with her language and her appearance on the show. They will not allow him to go with her. Mac tells her to leave him alone, she is not his bleeping mother any more. They chase her out.
Luis explains who and what Precious is and that she has taking a liking to him. Hank tells Luis that is putting it mildly, what Precious has in mind is Hot Monkey Love. Luis says that he is spoken for. He asks Hank after all he doesn't have anyone. He declines, saying that there is a big ape in her future but it is not him. Hank is informed about other nurses being let go and how precious was the best she could do and Mrs. Wallace's tales of death plots. Hank says that he has not gotten anywhere in finding information about who was trying to kill Sheridan and him at the cottage. (After all he is training to be a cop. I guess that Luis is too busy with apes and babies to work and don't forget Sam must also be too busy to look for suspects. Lets untrained civilians do our work for us) Hank tells of the freaky person he has just run into at the dock.
Back at the dock Charlie talks to herself and says that she is going to go and talk with Beth about their plan for Sheridan.
Of course neither Luis nor Hank see the connection. Mrs. Wallace prays to the angels to protect to her and forces Beth to threaten her with a knife, saying that everyone will think she did to herself.
Sheridan dreams a demented version of "Send In The Clowns" is played as they carry Sheridan into the building and into a pit that they toss her in.
Hank feels sorry for Beth. He says that a lot of people would have snapped along time ago. Luis says that she loves her mother than they know. Of course she in the kitchen with her mother with a knife at her throat. Her mother agrees to not say anything, after why should she when with all of things happening it will soon be found out. She points out the Charlie horse women (as Mrs. Wallace refers to her) she wants to keep you as a special friend and that she is in love with Luis that she will flip out. She might kill her and Luis. Beth says that it is not true because she is planning on not having then ever met.
Charlie pulls the head off of the doll while on her way to see Beth.
Theresa turns off the TV and again resumes her search for Little Ethan (Really, do you think that Theresa did legally name her baby Little Ethan)
The last scene is Sheridan at the bottom of the pit and the evil clowns throw bombs at her as she pleads for them not to hurt her.
Over all, I found this to be a very fun episode. Of courses that will only hold true for those of you that watch "Passions" for the same reasons as me .. I watch because it not just about who is sleeping with whom and what lie will surface. I think Passions is in its best element when it does the outrageous things such as spells that cause evil clowns to chase Sheridan and the bit with the Boozebournes was so much fun. Love Karen=B9s outfit. Very gothic black velvet over dress and under is a burgundy dress mirroring the cut of the black.=20
Surprisingly I thought they all looked better in their Boozebournes outfit. Watching Precious demonstrate her affection for Luis was fun. Hot monkey love!!!!!!!! Charlie killing off of Blondie Dolls clearly shows us that she is equally off of her rocker than Beth who she has a crush on. I wonder if their relationship does not turn into the way she wants, what will be the effects be?
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