OLTL Update Tuesday 3/18/03

One Life to Live Update Tuesday 3/18/03

By Brandon
Pictures by Juanita

proofread by Theresa

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You know, I'm still not totally sure how I feel about this strange Sam's murder thing that's unfolding on "One Life to Live" -- doesn't it seem like a waste of a pretty good character and a terrific actor? -- But I watch with bated breath anyway, if only to admire the ripple effect that it is creating across the entire canvas. It's going to end up sending about five or six different storylines spinning in new directions -- at least, that's how I see it -- so it can't be all bad, right?

But more on that later. First... who'd like to volunteer to explain to me where exactly Natalie's mind has been lately? Why is she acting like such an insufferable twit all of a sudden? Nora tried to talk her out of it, Cris tried to talk her out of it, Jessica tried to talk her out of it... cripes, even Viki tried to talk her out of it, but she has been insisting on pressing forth with this ridiculous story that she and Mitch really did consummate their marriage after all, thus necessitating a divorce instead of an annulment, thus allowing for a rather sizeable settlement in her favor. So, what did Natalie -- once upon a time, a fairly sharp girl, mind you -- do today? She walked into court and made a gigantic fool of herself; no less, with Judge Fitzwater presiding over the case! No one has ever ever pulled anything over on her in the ten years that she's been on this show! (I swear, and I'm not kidding, Fitzwater is my favorite recurring character in all of daytime, and Novella Nelson's brilliantly left-of-center line readings always cheer me up no matter how bad this show gets.) Anyway, Jessica and Cris tried again to dissuade Natalie from going through with her plan while they were waiting for the hearing to begin, and Natalie told them all to get over it -- she was sticking to her story no matter what, and she insisted that it was true, and all this ridiculous stuff. I would have paid closer attention during these scenes but that girl has so been getting on my nerves lately that it's all I can do to sit still during her segments.

Just before the proceedings got underway, Jen showed up and ran into Cris, and asked if he had seen her father that she had been trying all night to get in touch with him. Cris got a strange look on his face, and then realized that she hadn't heard the news yet. He told her to go find her mother immediately that she needed to talk to her.

So anyway, then the hearing began with Judge Fitzwater extending her condolences to Natalie for losing her attorney in such a grisly manner, and Natalie assured the judge that she wanted to continue the hearing regardless of the tragedy. The judge agreed, and called Natalie to the stand, and Viki and Mitch showed up just in time to watch Natalie begin her testimony, which turned real disastrous real quick. Evangeline -- that's Mitch's shark of a lawyer, you'll recall -- started asking her about the wedding night, and the "blessed event" and if they were naked and who undressed whom and all kinds of other suggestive things. Natalie was visibly uncomfortable as she struggled through the questions, and then Evangeline threw her a curve ball: she asked Natalie to describe a tattoo on Mitch's body. Natalie squirmed in the witness box. Evangeline asked what the problem was -- it should be an easy task for someone who had been intimate with him, after all. Natalie squirmed more. Evangeline then told Natalie she'd make it easy for her -- she asked her to testify as to which side of Mitch's body the tattoo appears. "Take a guess," Evangeline prodded. "You've got a fifty percent chance of being right." Natalie pondered for a second and then said, "Left." Evangeline smiled like a sated cat and then revealed to the judge and the court that there isn't a tattoo anywhere on Mitch's body.

(Memo to Natalie: BUSTED!)

Fitzwater then told Natalie that she was prepared to offer her an annulment immediately, and Natalie reluctantly agreed. Then Fitzwater proceeded to ream her out big time for wasting her time and taxpayer money and perjuring herself under oath. Viki tried to step up to defend her daughter -- as did Roxy, who showed up prepared to testify that Natalie told her all about sleeping with Mitch -- and the judge promptly told her to take her seat and hush. She then said that since she's aware of the pending criminal charges against Mitch, she'd only hold Natalie to paying the court costs.

Mitch was gloating when that was all done, and he told Natalie and Viki afterward that he was feeling so generous that he'd go ahead and pay the court costs for her. "With the money you stole from my family?" Natalie asked, and Mitch gave her a long-winded, frighteningly well-enunciated answer that more or less boiled down to "yes."

Before going to court, Mitch was over at the gallery, dealing with Lindsay, who continued to be wracked with guilt over shooting Sam. Mitch tried to calm her down, assuring her again that all the evidence points to Todd Manning and that there's no way anybody can connect her to the crime as long as she plays it cool. (Like that's ever gonna happen; girlfriend is about as subtle as a supertanker, agreed?) Lindsay was crying and screaming about how it was supposed to be Troy, and asked him how she was supposed to explain to her children that she has murdered their father. Mitch again told her that Todd is the culprit, that the evidence is airtight, and that she needs to cool off and see reason. Of course, Jen showed up around this time, and flipped to see Mitch there yet again. He excused himself quickly, and then Jen demanded to know what was going on. Lindsay broke down again and told her that Sam had been shot, that he was dead. Jen exploded into tears and Lindsay tried her best to comfort her. Jen couldn't quite get her mind around the fact that her father was dead, and asked what kind of person would murder Sam, who was always smiling and was always a nice guy. Lindsay hid her face in shame, and finally agreed to take Jen to the morgue when she insisted on seeing Sam's body.

Bo was at the police station when Lindsay and Jen arrived, and tried to talk them into waiting until Sam was transferred to the funeral parlor, but Jen demanded to see her father, and Bo relented. Lindsay hesitated before walking with them down into the morgue, and stood there looking like she was going to vomit forever as Jen said her goodbyes to Sam. Bo was struck by Lindsay's reactions, and later brought them up to Nora, telling her that Lindsay took it harder than Jen did. Nora told him that was understandable, considering that Lindsay has loved Sam for a hundred years and that he was the father of her children. Bo didn't seem completely convinced.

Bo and Nora later discussed what seemed to be a slam-dunk case against Todd, punctuated with a typed "confession letter" that Hank had confiscated from Todd's office in which Todd admitted his guilt. Nora -- Nora! My Nora is back! Immediately she spoke up and said she didn't buy any of it, that it made too much sense, that it's too pat -- the ring, the bloody gloves, the gun, the phone message, it all fits together too well for Nora's taste. Bo told her that he didn't believe it either, and they both started to wonder if Todd was covering for somebody, or if somebody was framing him.

And it seems as if they're leaning toward the former, especially after the forensics report came in for the gun, and it was revealed that only one set of prints was on the weapon. Blair's.

Of course, Blair's already got the gist of the story figured out -- that Mitch is the killer and that he's framing Todd. Troy tried to get her to go to the police with her suspicions, but she refused, saying that Mitch has threatened her children and she can't risk it. She later cornered Mitch at the courthouse and called him a sick freak, saying that he won't get away with his latest plot and that she's not afraid of him.

Also, Rae granted Asa her divorce, and that led to the beginnings of a truce with Renee. And Roxy hit Asa up with a proposition for a partnership in order to get her beauty salon idea off the ground, and Asa told her to buzz off.

And I think that's all that happened today, kids. See you all later in the week!

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