OLTL Update Friday 2/28/03

One Life to Live Update Friday 2/28/03

By Brandon
Pictures by Juanita

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A question: why do I always get stuck recapping these bizarre episodes of "One Life to Live" that are full of pointless scenes and ignorant dialogue? Seriously! Friday's installment was no different, as I continue to look forward to the day when this show makes its full return to glory.

Like I said last week, it bothers me something fierce that there's really just one major storyline on this show right now -- this convoluted Victor/Mitch mess -- and if you're not on board with it, you're up a creek. Remember how one of the great things about Michael Malone's first tenure as head writer of this show was that there were always interesting things happening in every corner of Llanview, so that even if you didn't care for the headlining plot, you still had plenty to latch onto. Take the fall of 1994 for instance: if you didn't give a crap about Todd and Rebecca -- my hand is raised, friends -- then you could focus on Dorian and Joey, or Asa and Alex, or Nora and Bo, or Dylan and Marty. What are you going to latch onto right this second if you're not wild about watching monotone-y Mitch? Joey and Flash's escapades? The more-forced-than-ever Cris/Natalie relationship? Pshaw! Al's burgeoning drug addiction? Rub a lamp!

Those threads seem like the best place to kick off this recap, because as much airtime as they received on Friday's episode, someone in charge must think we actually dig them. Evidently, Rex is, like, connected, boys and girls! All of a sudden, he's the middleman to Angel Square drug pushers. When did this happen? How did this happen? Even if he does seem genetically predisposed to this sort of activity -- Roxanne, the lush of all time, contributing half of his DNA and all -- I totally don't buy this. But anyway, Al decided to take Rex up on his earlier offer to help him procure some "study aids." Seems Al continues to be stressed over grades and tests and the fact that he's flunking most all of it. Rex giddily informed Al that he's pulling a 3.2 GPA -- as if that boy could even spell GPA correctly! Pshaw! -- and something about how he gets people to copy notes for him or he copies from people. I don't know, it was something like that, I was trying hard not to listen because he is such an annoying horsefly.

Anyway, Rex got a call from his dealer friend, who turned out to be the same dude who took Flash to the Palace hotel and got her drunk. And so Rex and Al went to that warehouse to meet him and get Al hooked up. The dealer told Al he could get anything for the right price, and Al said he was a little short on cash at the moment. The dealer said -- pun intended? You decide -- "no deal," and started to leave. Rex tried to convince him that he was good for it, but the dealer dude wouldn't budge.

Luckily for Al, Max showed up at this point. He had been to the diner, where Rex and Al were, and learned from Marcie (who is now the waitress from hell, in addition to her ongoing title of best friend from hell) where Al was headed. Max tried again to get his son to open up about his problems, and Al again insisted that he has everything under control, but that he needs some money for books. Max almost balked but finally gave in and handed Al a fifty dollar bill. Al thanked him and assured him that he was turning things around, and Max left. Al immediately caught up with the freaky dealer dude and handed him the fifty, and the freaky dealer dude gave Al, like, two pills and told him they would keep him up for days. Two pills cost fifty bucks? Are you kidding me with this?!

At any rate, Al took one of the pills, which evidently tasted pretty bitter because he had quite a sour expression on his face as he digested it.

(Can anyone out there not see where this story is headed? If you need a point of reference, look no further than this show, fall of 1995, and Rachel Gannon, who was stressed out in law school and turned to Javier to score her some "study aids" as well. Don't you know they hate it when we remember these things?)

Meanwhile, Joey and Flash had more scenes together, as she realized he was watching her sing. I don't really remember what else happened with these two -- that freaky dealer dude tried to come onto her again, I think, and Joey told him to get bent. Oh, I remember, Flash turned up later at Llanfair to see Joey, who again asked her to let him try to help her. She finally admitted that she was looking for someone, and it's someone Joey knows. It's someone in Joey's family. It's CJ Roberts, Tina's son. An interesting wrinkle, yes?

Cristian and Natalie settled in rather uncomfortably at Carlotta's apartment, much to Carlotta's continued chagrin. You'll recall from yesterday that Natalie had immediately and accurately zeroed in on the fact that this living arrangement had a snowball's chance in hell of succeeding harmoniously, but Cris continued to insist that all would be fine. It got worse when Carlotta announced that she and Natalie would be sharing a bathroom -- Carlotta made some snippy comments about how much makeup Natalie wears and about how high-maintenance her toiletries are in order to drive home just precisely how unhappy she was with this entire idea. And Natalie picked up the signals loud and clear, but Cris -- truly one of the lugheads of all time -- continued to naively insist that they could make this work.

Anyway, Carlotta went back to the diner, and Cris and Natalie took that as their cue to -- I kid you not, I swear to Jesus -- take a shower together! No, I'm not kidding, we actually had to sit through that! The pretense was that they wanted to try to wash the bleach out of Natalie's hair so she could be a redhead again. Which I guess worked because the red hair was back when they stepped out of the shower. But they had the dumb luck to leave the bathroom in disarray -- wet towels on the floor, water everywhere, you know the drill -- and of course Carlotta came back to the apartment (because she forgot the payroll ledger, natch!) and saw the mess and hit the roof.

After she left the second time, Natalie told Cristian that this wasn't going to work and that they needed to leave immediately. Then Natalie went down to the diner and told Carlotta the same thing. And Viki walked in right behind her and -- having been tipped off by Jessica that Natalie had moved out of Llanfair -- told her that she needed to return home.

Before all this happened, Viki was at the hospital dealing with Mitch and her father, who was taken into the operating room to be prepped for his imminent surgery with the incoming artificial heart. Troy brought Viki a consent form to sign to allow for the surgery, since Victor was incapable of signing it himself. Viki and Mitch had been in the hallway sparring about Victor and about Mitch's newfound interest when Troy brought the paper and told her that she needed to make a decision within the hour. Mitch took the opportunity to try to convince her not to sign the form, telling her she had another chance to kill Victor and get away with it. And you could tell she was listening closely and debating it too, when Todd showed up at the hospital and announced to Viki that Victor has changed his will, and has left everything the family owns to Mitch. Viki was furious to learn this and angrily signed the form, announcing to Troy that she wanted her father to live. Mitch told her not to count her chickens just yet, saying that at Victor's age and in his condition, he'll be lucky to survive the procedure.

Which is pretty much what Troy told Todd later when Todd asked what the old man's chances were. Troy told him not to be overly optimistic because it didn't look good.

Later, inside the hospital room where Victor had been staying, Todd happened across the brochure that Victor had been scribbling on, and he could make out the words "I, Victor Lord." Troy told Todd that Victor had been asking for a pen and paper earlier and rambling about "wanting to make things right," and Todd realized that Victor was trying to change his will once more before he went into cardiac arrest.

And the plot thickens.... See you all next week!

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