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One Life to Live Update Tuesday 2/25/03
By Brandon
Pictures by Juanita
proofread by Theresa
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I kid you not, this is attempt number four to upload my recap of Tuesday's episode of "One Life to Live." My computer -- a Dell Latitude CPx notebook whose keyboard is touchy as hell, beyond distracting, and would drive the most patient man batty -- is giving me fits and I'm this close to throwing it against my wall. (In fact, the first time I was sitting her typing this, I got so angry that I ended up slamming my palms down onto the keyboard several times and caused Windows to crash completely, which I of course know solved nothing but made me feel infinitely better.) Anyway, if anybody out there has also had the problems that I am currently having -- specifically, a space bar with a mind of its own -- and you know a way to fix it or make it at least a little better -- seriously, I'll take any kernel of wisdom -- please feel free to email me at "jokingwiththis@webtv.net" and rescue me.
In the meantime, let's get on with the recap one more time before I go insane. Today's episode was quite unremarkable and leaden-paced, wasn't it? Especially coming off of yesterday's slam-bang installment (and specifically those hilariously brilliant and spot-on scenes with Roger Howarth and the completely re-energized Hillary B. Smith that effectively and efficiently played on their characters' rich history. Today's show had nothing even remotely like that to recommend it, which makes me think that my computer knows what I'm typing and is deliberately trying to undermine it.
So that Flash girl was on the loose again today, completely annoying the hell out of SuperJoey (and, perhaps not coincidentally, us). Renee had walked into her room at the Palace -- room 702, you'll recall from yesterday -- and found the room in a shambles, as well as Flash passed out on the bed. When Joey arrived, he sprung immediately into action, getting Flash awake and into a cold shower. He then called room service -- which is now headed up by Rex (!) -- and ordered some black coffee and dry toast. Then Flash got out of the shower and Joey tried again to engage her in conversation, so he started talking about his family, and how he was married briefly a while ago -- and I'm such a bad fan because I totally forgot about this! -- to a woman (that would be Kelly, for all you other amnesiacs) who dumped him for his brother. Flash was riveted by the story, but when Joey tried to turn the tables and get her to open up a bit about her own family, she clammed up immediately and ran out of the room like a speeding bullet, leaving SuperJoey frustrated anew.
Sometime later, he ran into Renee and told her he'd take full responsibility for the damages to the room, and she told him she didn't have time to deal with any of that right now, because one of her hotel guests had just been robbed of some jewelry and a wallet full of cash. And who do you suppose we next saw bounding through the hotel lobby, happy as a lark, counting a handful of money?
I kid you not, we had to sit through all of that and more.
Meanwhile, down in the Palace Bar, Asa and Rae were having another argument as Rex and Roxy and, later, Renee looked on with great interest. I'm not really sure what they were arguing about exactly, because I kept zoning out, but it was something about a more balanced divorce settlement that Asa was offering, and Rae refused, and Asa was angry about it, and Rae was too, and then Asa started having chest pains and went to seek medical attention, and Renee took that as her cue to read Rae the riot act for the umpteenth time, about how Rae used to care about people and now all she cares about is money and status. Renee asked her if it was really worth all the trouble she has gone to, and Rae stomped off in an angry huff.
Later, Asa called Renee and admitted that he was faking the chest pains, and that with any luck he'd be able to guilt-trip Gretel "the hell out of his life." Renee was tres amused.
Yep, we had to sit through all of that as well.
Jessica went to the hospital to visit Cristian and Natalie, and they talked about Mitch and Victor and all that had transpired at the farmhouse. Cristian was stunned to hear about Victor's evil demand that Viki choose between her daughters, and after Jessica left, Cris asked Natalie why she hadn't mentioned it. Natalie explained that there was no point in talking about it, since everybody knew that if it had come down to it, Viki would have chosen Jessica. Cris tried to convince Natalie that Viki could never have made such a choice, but Natalie insisted that Jessica and Viki have an inalienable unbreakable bond that she herself will never have with Viki. She then said that she doesn't want to return to Llanfair when she gets released from the hospital, because it'll never be her home and she'll never completely fit in with her new family no matter how hard she tries, so Cris asked her to move in with him and let him take care of her. She hugged him and tearfully accepted his offer.
And we had to watch it.
Across the hall from Natalie's room was unfolding what should have been major spine-tingling drama: Todd was coming face to face with his birth father, Victor Lord, for the first time ever. How completely flat did these totally overwritten scenes fall? No use -- or apparent basic understanding -- of subtext, of nuance, which forced Roger Howarth to wing it and overplay all of his lines, which in turn undermined the inherent tension of the moments. It was painful to watch, and everybody involved here knows better. But anyway, Todd and Victor talked about Irene and about Victor's insistence that Todd be given away, and Victor was impressed with Todd and told him that he would have named him Victor Lord, Jr. if he had kept the boy. Then he started telling Todd that he has the heart of a Lord and that it's up to him to save the empire -- that he needs to save his legacy from Mitch Laurence.
Confused, Todd made a beeline for the jail to see Mitch and try to ascertain exactly what had led to Mitch and Victor being in cahoots to begin with. But a guard came in and threw Todd out before he could get any answers, and on his way out, Todd was yelling at Mitch that he'd be back.
Before all of this occurred, Mitch had a jail cell meeting with his new attorney, who informed him that she enjoyed nothing less than winning and that he needed to provide her with some serious ammunition with which to plead his case; otherwise, he'd be in the market for a different lawyer. Mitch responded that she needed to make a trip to the farmhouse at Jason's Landing, because there's a document there with Victor Lord's signature on it, and it could change everything. Especially for his "good friend" Viki Davidson.
Ah yes, Viki. She spent most of this episode in the hospital chapel, railing at God for bringing her father back into her life, and asking for strength and courage to deal with this twist of fate. She admitted to Jessica that she was afraid she might try to kill him again, because she still detests him and is still eaten up with anger for what he did to her all those years ago. Jessica tried to convince her that she's stronger now than she's ever been and that she can face this.
So at the end, Viki walked into her father's hospital room as he was sleeping, and took a seat next to his bed, and just silently watched him breathe.