OLTL Update Tuesday 1/14/03

One Life to Live Update Tuesday 1/14/03

By Brandon
Pictures by Juanita

proofread by Theresa

Yes indeed, another Tuesday, and another pointless episode of "One Life to Live." This one centered around the drama and intrigue at Keri's not-so-surprise birthday party at Capricorn (which means we got another full hour centered around the "drama" and "intrigue" of the worst storyline in the history of television).

Don't worry, kids, we'll cover it quickly so as to minimize the pain and misery.

Antonio went to Keri's house for reasons that still aren't clear. I was thinking he went there to pick her up for the party, but then she asked first thing why he wasn't at the party already, so there went that theory. Was he going to tell her the truth finally? Nah, you know better than that! So they talked about Cristian for a bit.  Then he told her he loved her and she said something about this being the best birthday ever (!) because it's her first one with her mother and father and Antonio all together. "Isn't it amazing how everyone's just getting along all of a sudden?" Keri remarked.

Yeah, amazing. EXACTLY the word I was looking for.

Meanwhile, at the party, Hank told Liz that Antonio had DNA tests run on the baby and that he more than likely knows the truth by now. Liz was terrified and anxious at the thought of Antonio telling Keri.  Hank told her to prepare herself for just that because Antonio isn't the kind of man to just walk away from his responsibilities, and he's not the kind of man who can live with this kind of lie for the rest of his life. Hank then reminded Liz that he warned her months ago that the truth was bound to come out sooner or later. Liz tried to tell herself that maybe the tests would be inconclusive or something.  Hank told her to get a grip: the secret is out, and Antonio is almost certainly going to tell Keri before someone else does. He then urged Liz to come clean herself if she wants to salvage any part of her relationship with her daughter.

Antonio and Keri showed up for the party then, and while everyone was hugging Keri and wishing her happy birthday (or, in Carlotta's case, "feliz cumpleanos" -- my recaps are bilingual, baby, don't think they aren't!), Antonio and Liz were just glaring at each other with complete contempt.

He finally got a chance to pull Liz over into a corner so that they could be alone for a second, whereupon he revealed to her that he knows the truth -- he knows the baby is his, and he can prove it. She then admitted to him that she knew the truth all along, and is still considering leaving town when the baby is born. Antonio told her more or less she could abandon that plan, that he wasn't going to walk away from his child and that he wasn't going to let her keep him from his flesh and blood. Liz told him then that she isn't the horrible person he believes her to be.  When she found out she was pregnant, she was just very excited at the thought of having another child. She reminded him that at that time, she didn't even know Antonio's name or who he was or where he lived. Antonio then reminded her that when she did find out all that information, she continued this revolting charade nonetheless, and that he's ready to end it. She begged him not to tell Keri the truth.

Keri, meanwhile, told Carlotta something about taking Cristian some food and cake so that he wouldn't feel left out. (And, see, if you ask me, Cris is the lucky one because he doesn't have to be in this room with these people. But what do I know?)

Also at the party, Troy managed to pin down RJ, and immediately told him that he knows of RJ's involvement in Lindsay's jailbreak. RJ played it off at first and then Troy told him what Allison Perkins had revealed to him earlier. RJ had himself a nice chuckle at the idea of Troy taking the word of a crazy woman. Troy told him that she seemed pretty lucid to him during their conversation. RJ realized that Troy was serious; especially when Troy suggested that RJ should turn state's witness and testify to Lindsay's culpability in the jailbreak scheme. RJ flatly refused to get involved, even after Troy suggested that he could wrangle himself some kind of deal. RJ asked why Troy is so desperate to get rid of Lindsay. Troy tried to play the Nora card, saying if he cared about Nora, he'd help Troy get Lindsay out of their lives. RJ still didn't bite but was getting visibly angrier.

Troy finally said that RJ's brother -- the town district attorney, remember? -- might be interested in this story, and that's when RJ hit his breaking point. He told Troy one more time that he needs to drop his pursuit of Lindsay because he has far too much to lose. Troy told him that he has everything to gain by getting rid of Lindsay, and RJ said, "Umm, not quite, Doc Twin." RJ then told him that if he doesn't let it go, hed tell Nora that Troy has been sleeping with Lindsay.

Checkmate, buddy!

Speaking of Nora, she was at the gallery for the duration of the episode. She walked in and found Lindsay, wearing lingerie and lighting candles and setting a romantic mood. Lindsay tried to goad her rival into a conversation about "her new man" and Nora was supremely uninterested -- she was there looking for Sam and Jen. Nora then told Lindsay about the story in the Sun about Jen's supposed involvement with Mitch Laurence.  She told Lindsay that Mitch is an extremely dangerous man and that Jen could be in danger if she's indeed affiliated with him.

"Do you think Jen is so obsessed with Cristian that she'd get mixed up with Mitch?" Lindsay asked. "Well, she is your daughter," Nora replied. So that set Lindsay off and she refused to listen to Nora's repeated warnings that Jen is in serious trouble, saying that Nora isn't seeing Sam anymore and no longer needs to be concerned about Jen's problems. Nora left in a huff, but then came back and started up a whole new conversation with Lindsay.

"It just eats you up that I'm happy, doesn't it?" Nora asked. Lindsay promised Nora that she couldn't care less.  Nora negated that one, so Lindsay made light of all the men that have been attached to Nora, suggesting that Nora should take a timeout and fix whatever it is that is keeping her from having a long term relationship with one man. (Sub textual irony?! On this show?! Pshaw!) Nora told Lindsay that she's very happy with Troy and that he is not going to hurt her. "Are you sure about that?" Lindsay asked ominously.

At Max's house, Roxy managed to beat Mitch to the stairs and she told him that she wasn't going to let him search the house, assuring him again that Jessica wasn't there. He didn't believe her, and told her that he loves his daughter very much. "Bull," she said. Then she asked Mitch why she's still alive -- since he killed Walter and killed the nurses, why did she make the cut? He told her that she served his purposes back then, that he placed his daughter in the home of millionaires, and placed the millionaires' daughter in the home of a "drunken slob" so that everybody could have the life they deserved. Roxy told Mitch that she still had a chance to be a good mother, and that she was starting now, with this. She then physically attacked him to keep him away from the stairs.

Natalie and Jessica heard them fighting and started plotting a way to get out of the house. Jessica was saying that she needed to get to the airport, and Natalie promised that she'd make sure that Jess got safely away from Mitch and out of town. She came up with a plan to go down and distract Mitch so that Jess could slip away, and Jess thanked her for her help. The sisters said their goodbyes to each other, and Natalie headed downstairs to confront Mitch.

But Max beat her to it. He walked in on Mitch manhandling Roxy and grabbed him from behind and held him in a chokehold. Natalie came down and verbally berated him for a while, telling him that Jessica wants nothing to do with him and has left town and his plans are unraveling and who all knows what else. I had totally lost interest by this point, but I'll tell you that Jessica successfully made her getaway.

At Llanfair, Al showed up to talk to Viki and tell her that Jessica is safe. He wouldn't tell her where Jess was, though, just that she needs some space right now. Then they had this whole conversation about how Jess is good and smart and sweet and kind and loving and lovely and zzzzzzzzzzz.... Oops, sorry. So then Viki asked Al to please tell Jessica before she left town how much Viki loves her, and Al finally broke down and gave Jessica's ticket to Viki. He told her that he was supposed to meet Jess at the airport to give her the ticket, but that he thinks she needs to see Viki one more time. Viki thanked him and raced off to the airport, where mother and daughter indeed came face to face as the stewardess announced that Jess' flight was preparing to board.

Erin Torpey's last day is tomorrow, guys! See you all on Thursday!

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