One Life to Live Update Friday 1/3/03
By Brandon
Pictures by Juanita
Hey guys, sorry this recap is so late, but that pulse-pounding Fiesta Bowl kept me up way way waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay past my bedtime last night. And speaking of pulse-pounding, how miraculous was yesterday? A brilliant script (more or less), no fewer than six really great one-liners that actually made sense (and seamlessly fit right inside the action), and riveting, intense, magnificent performances from Roscoe Born and especially Erin Torpey highlighted Friday's episode of "One Life to Live."
But first, quickly, the lowlights:
Roxy and Max turned up back in Llanview following their adventures in Philadelphia with Roxy's mother-from-hell. And Roxy continued to have a nine-mile-wide grin on her face that Max had actually -- finally -- stood up to defend her. And as she was hugging him and kissing him, who should walk into view but Asa? No mention of how he got into Max's house or anything, but there he was, glaring at the lovebirds, obviously not pleased. "Hey Ace," Roxy said, realizing exactly why he was there after she remembered ditching him on New Year's Eve. Asa told her that he had been waiting for her to come around so that he could give her... "that financial advice" she had requested. Roxy tried to explain that she had gone to see her witch of a mother and couldn't get away. After Max got a phone call, Asa pulled Roxy to the side and told her he didn't believe her story and she insisted it was true. Asa then laid out an ultimatum: Roxy has one week to decide if she wants to be with Max or with him. You expect me to make a major life decision in one week? Roxy asked incredulously. Yep, the big man replied. Roxy told him she needed some time alone to think and left the house.
When Max returned to find just Asa, Asa then made fun of HIM for "that ridiculous story" about Roxy's mother, and Max also told him it was true: Roxy's mother lives in south Philly and is a horrifying creature. Max then asked where Roxy was. (Asa: "She needed some time alone to think." Max: "To drink?" Asa: "To THINK.") Asa then reminded Max of their original plan to finagle divorces for each other, and questioned Max's fidelity to that plan, because he senses that Max -- who is still holding on to Rae's signed divorce agreement -- is developing feelings for Roxy. Max assured him the plan was still on, nothing has changed. Asa then told Max not to jerk Roxy around, and Max wondered if Asa wasn't developing feelings for the woman as well.
Of course he is, you dope! I called that one, like, weeks ago.
Sam and Blair were well on their way to having sex in the penthouse, but then Sam saw that hideously atrocious purple outfit that Blair was wearing and called for a timeout. (No, seriously, the real reason was that Sam didn't want it to happen there, at the penthouse, in Todd's bed. And to that, I can only say... "Smart thinking.") Blair then admitted to Sam that Todd is always on her mind as well, but that it's just memories, that she has lived there with Todd for too long not to feel something. She then insisted once more that she loves Sam and wants to be with him.
Meanwhile, Lindsay was still in bed, clutching Troy's left-behind necktie and daydreaming, when RJ showed up and announced that he had the final papers for her, that he was selling the gallery back to her. (To which I said, "Whoa!" RJ owns the gallery? When did that happen? How did I miss that?) Anyway, he quickly surmised that a man had been there, in bed with her. He congratulated her for returning to the land of the living and casually mentioned that it would no doubt make Nora and "Doc Twin" -- hands down the funniest quip of the episode -- very happy to know she's got a new project. Lindsay danced around that one for a time and then dared RJ to believe that her new man WAS "Doc Twin." RJ didn't believe it at first, insisting that Troy is deeply in love with Nora. "I know that," she told him. "And did you know that they're engaged now, too?" So then RJ began to wonder exactly how Lindsay had managed to coax Troy into sleeping with her -- "What do you have on him?" he asked suspiciously. She told him she had nothing, that Troy had simply come over to tell her of his engagement and one thing just led to another, easy as pie. (Which isn't quite accurate, but whatever....) RJ then commented that she and Troy have the most demented relationship ever, and brought up that time when she tied him to the wheel. Lindsay said that it was almost as demented as Troy and Nora's relationship -- "Imagine getting engaged and betrayed on the same day," she said innocently. She then told RJ that she knew that he and Nora are good friends (which also isn't quite accurate, but....) and that "would understand completely" if he felt it necessary to tell Nora what happened. RJ caught on immediately -- because he more or less is the smartest man in this town, not that that's saying a whole lot -- and told Lindsay that he would not be doing her dirty work; if she wanted Nora to know about this, she'd have to tell her herself.
Fair enough, Lindsay thought, and then concocted a new plan, which involved placing Troy's necktie into a cute little box and gorgeously gift-wrapping it.
Troy, meantime, was at his loft getting stared down by a worried Nora, who had been looking for him. Things were awkward between them for a beat or two but then Troy recovered the moment and listened as Nora told him about her day and about seeing Bo and Viki. She then told him she just assumed he had been with Emily, and Troy finally broke down and admitted that he had actually been with Lindsay. Nora thought then that he and Lindsay had probably just run into each other, and so he was forced to admit that no, she was at her gallery and he had gone there to see her specifically. Nora was now getting really worried, and then Troy explained that he had gone there to tell Lindsay about their engagement himself, adding that he thought Lindsay might digest the news a little easier if she heard it from him directly. Nora told her fiancée that Lindsay is unstable and deranged and can't be trusted. "I know that," Troy said, then said that he thought he might be able to defuse some of her anger if he did it in person. (So to speak.) "So what did she do?" Nora asked before tossing off the second-funniest quip of the episode. "Lay down and let you roll all over her?" (Ummm....) Troy then got a super-guilty look of remorse on his face and didn't really answer the question, but instead insisted that Lindsay took it well and that she would no longer be threatening them, their happiness, or their lives. Are you serious? Nora asked. Troy insisted again that he was absolutely sure that Lindsay was out of their lives for good, and that they needed to go out and celebrate it. Nora was hesitant but finally believed what he was saying was true, kissed him passionately, and then went to get ready for a night on the town. And Troy leapt into the shower to get the Lindsay stench off of him.
Then, later, as they were headed out the door to celebrate, there stood Lindsay getting ready to knock. And guess what she had in her hands? A cute little box, gorgeously gift-wrapped.
At Llanfair, Viki managed to stop Todd from heading out to "kill Mitch," and she quickly deduced that his immediate rage toward Mitch had very little to do with Viki but with Todd himself, and that he still feels guilty for raping Marty Saybrooke ten years ago. Then they launched into this whole discussion -- beautifully written and performed, by the way -- about how completely and mercilessly Todd's actions in the past have affected his life forever, how he'll never feel whole again and never let himself love anyone again, and how he'll never forgive himself, ever. She told him that it was time he forgave himself -- that God already had, that she herself already had, that Marty already had. Todd told Viki that it wasn't possible, that he never would be able to let himself off that hook. Viki then told him that in a way, she understands where he's coming from, since she'll never forgive herself for letting Mitch take Jessica.
Now it was Todd's turn to console Viki, and he stepped up marvelously, saying their two situations were completely and fundamentally different -- that, for one, Viki was "zonked out" in the hospital, and also this: Todd DID something to somebody else, but something HAPPENED to Viki, and it wasn't the same. Viki still said she can't forgive herself, and that Jessica is hurt beyond belief by the entire situation and may never forgive her. She then assured her brother that she hates what Todd did, but doesn't hate Todd; and added that she HATES Mitch, that Todd ISN'T Mitch, and that Todd needs to stay completely away from Mitch, because he has his own kids to think about and because Bo and the police are handling the situation just fine. "Bo?! Bo couldn't catch a cold!" Todd objected in the episode's third-funniest quip. Viki told him that Mitch is supremely confident, and that he's going to slip up sooner or later and that's when they'll nab him. Todd didn't place much faith in that plan but promised Viki that he'd stay away from Mitch.
Jessica, however, decided not to stay away from the man, and showed up on his doorstep, much to Mitch's delight. He happily invited her in, and she told him essentially to wipe the smile off his face because this wasn't a cordial visit. Jessica's words, more or less: I hate you, you're scum, I want nothing to do with you, you're a vile excuse for a human, and I hate you. Mitch tried in vain to plead his case, saying that he loves her more than life and that everything he has done has been for her. "You're not going to blame your obscene life on me!" Jessica raged at him, then told him how disgusted she was by all of it: how he raped Viki, how she was conceived out of hatred. "How could you do that to me?" she asked desperately. He told her again he loved her and that she had a good life because of him. "You weren't even looking for a daughter, you just wanted to hurt my mother!" she screamed. He told her that wasn't true at all, then told her -- in the episode's creepiest, best moment -- how much it pleased him to see her like this, her eyes full of rage and fire, her voice full of determination. "You really are a chip off the old block," he said with a calm smugness. He then told her that she has the same color eyes as his mother had, and that when he closes his eyes, Jessica and his mother have the exact same voice.
Jessica was thoroughly disgusted by this point and tried to leave, but Mitch wouldn't let her. He pulled down a scrapbook to show her, and Jessica was horrified to realize that Mitch has been keeping tabs on her for her entire life. The book was full of articles and pictures and clippings that document Jessica's entire existence, and as he was trying to show it to her, she knocked it out of his hand and screamed that she doesn't want to see it and that she doesn't want anything to do with him -- that from now on, her parents no longer exist. You don't mean that, Mitch told her, and she assured him that she did mean it. And when she tried to leave yet again, Mitch physically blocked the door and grabbed her, pulling her into the middle of the room. Jessica began fighting his grip on her and screaming, and that's when... you guessed it, Todd kicked the door in and exploded into the room. (You didn't think he was actually going to stay away, did you?) "Get your hands off of her!" he yelled at Mitch, who turned around to face the only man in Llanview more psychotic than he is.
Nice weekend, everybody, see you all next week.