OLTL Update Friday 12/6/02


One Life to Live Update Friday 12/6/02

By Brandon
Pictures by Juanita

Wasn't it a miracle? Didn't it feel like... oh, I don't know, manna from heaven? A perfectly paced, solidly directed, blisteringly well-written episode of "One Life to Live" unfolded for us on Friday, and if you missed it, take this moment to slap yourself on both wrists. (Because who in hell knows how long it'll be before we get another one....)

The action picked up in Asa's office, where he had Roxanne eating out of the palm of his hand as he described to her his own private island, St. Blaze's, which was where he wanted to take her. Roxy was a tad suspicious at first, thinking he wanted to take her there and kill her or just leave her there forever. "You are priceless," Asa said to her. "Are you calling me cheap?!" Roxy shot back, before it dawned on her that Asa might be hitting on her. Even though the old coot is clearly smitten with her in spite of himself -- it's written all over his face -- he assured her it was nothing like that, because he's married already -- "to a broad you can't stand!" Roxy accurately pointed out -- and she's spoken for as well -- "though you could've done a lot better than that no good no account Max Holden," Asa perceived.

So anyway he finally got her to agree to go so they could have another good time, when who should show up but... Bo. Again. He's forever ruining these kids' adventures, isn't he? Bo revealed to Asa and Roxanne that Mitch Laurence isn't quite as dead as everyone thought he was, and the police need to question Roxanne. "Whatever it is I didn't do it!" Roxy yelled at Bo, who assured her they just need some information about Dr. Balsom's death. "Guess that ruins our trip," Roxy said to Asa as she followed Bo out the door.

But Asa shouldn't feel so bad, because Max and Renee struck out even harder with their plot to oust Rae. Renee went along with Max's plan and staged a scene at the palace -- a crying jag about losing Asa again and about how she wanted them to get married again, followed by a faked drunken stupor -- thinking that Rae would decide to just graciously step aside and out of Asa's life. Well, Renee certainly got Rae's attention, and Max tried to help it along by "confessing" that Renee's been on a downward spiral ever since news broke of Asa and Rae's marriage. So Rae did the best thing she knew to do: she gave Renee some self-help books and told her to get the hell over it. Well, more or less.

Meanwhile, that annoying horsefly Rex got caught by Bo eavesdropping on Viki at Llanfair -- I forgot to tell you yesterday that Viki and Rex kind of got into it over Jessica -- and Viki told him in no uncertain terms one more time that there's nothing she wouldn't do to protect her daughters, and that what Jessica does is none of his damn business, and that Jessica is safe with Seth. Then Bo told him to leave Llanfair and not to come back. Ever. But Bo -- Llanview's top cop, mind you -- didn't wait to see that Rex actually left the premises. And of course he didn't! Don't you know that nosy fool's about to get everybody in a heap o' trouble?!

Speaking of annoying horseflies and nosy fools, we come to the Jen portions of the program. I need to tell you -- you know, full disclosure and all that -- that I have NEVER been able to stand this character or this actress, not in the almost-two years she's been on this show. Jen as a viable character, and Jen and Cris as a viable couple have been washes from the get-go. Anybody agree with that? But let me tell you something funny: this episode right here, Friday December 6th, 2002, was the first one in which Jen has actually held my attention, and engaged my interest. She walked into the loft today and overheard Antonio and Cristian discussing Natalie's surprise marriage, and her face lit up like a gaudy Christmas wonderland. You could literally smell her excitement as she discovered that her romantic rival might be down for the count. She got on the phone immediately and tracked down the address of "Michael Lazarus" and decided to pay the newlyweds a visit.

The newlyweds, of course, were still arguing over whether or not they would be husband and wife in the biblical sense. Nat said no, Mitch said yes. Nat said, "Over my dead body." Mitch said, "How 'bout over Cristian's dead body?" This gave Natalie pause, and before they could push it any further, Jen showed up, eager to meet her new rival-in-law. Natalie opened the door and tried to get Jen to go away, but she pushed her way inside the house because she was quaking in her boots to meet "Michael," who conveniently disappeared from view. "So does this mean you're over Cristian?" Jen asked Natalie. "Of course it does, why else would you have gotten married to another man so fast?" she then answered. Natalie tried again to get rid of her, and when it failed a second time, Natalie decided to just get rid of herself, and she grabbed her jacket and ran out the back door. Jen tried to follow her out, then decided against it, and turned around... to see Mitch staring right at her.

"You're not what I..." Jen stammered when she realized who she was looking at. "Expected?" Mitch offered. "You're so much older," Jen said, getting a twinkle in her eye. Didn't you totally see this coming? Mitch looked at Jen and told her that they could conceivably be of great help to each other, and Jen of course agreed.

(Seriously, I'm into this, these two had this weird pulsing chemistry that was instantly evident.)

Cristian, meanwhile, showed up at Llanfair to talk to Viki about Natalie's marriage, specifically why she has decided to stay in it. "What?!" Viki asked in horror. "You saw Natalie and Michael together?"

"Yes," Cris responded, "less than an hour ago." Viki was immediately in near hysterics, and Cris demanded to know what was going on. Viki tried to stonewall him for a bit, but Cris told her he loves her daughter very much and needs to know the truth. Viki finally relented and told him that Natalie's husband's name isn't really Michael Lazarus. It's Mitch Laurence. And Mitch Laurence hates Viki immensely and has returned to Llanview to hurt her and her family.

Cris actually has a complete thought for the first time in, like, months, and realized that Natalie is staying married to protect Viki. Then Viki said, "Or you." And it hit them both simultaneously: Natalie is trapped in her marriage to a madman because she wants to protect the man she really loves.

Now, the big problem here is that Rex has heard all of this, because remember, he didn't really leave when Bo kicked him out. This is unfortunate, because Jessica called him. Jessica was sick and tired of getting the run around from Viki and Seth and she knew that they were both keeping her in the dark about something, so she called Rex to see if he knew anything about what was going on. And Rex revealed to her that Natalie has gotten married. "To some guy named Mitch," he added, as Jess stood on the other end of the line, flabbergasted.

Don't miss Monday guys, maybe we'll luck out and get two good episodes in a row! See you all next week!

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