The Bold & The Beautiful Update Wednesday 12/27/06
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In his session with Taylor, Nick is beyond disappointed. He is devastated as he remembers his mother taking money from Captain Kramer and all of the other men. But, he never questioned her about it. They used to bring him presents too and then joke about their whores. And she was one of them!
Stephanie taunts Jackie about her convenient headaches. Is this when she is going to get weepy and blame her for everything all over again? Or is she worried that Taylor is going to figure things out, what is wrong with both her and Nick? Or is she worried that Nick will find out what everyone else already knows, that she is just a slut? Jackie goes in for a slap, but Stephanie catches her hand in time.
Nick wonders if he could have been remembering this wrong? People do remember things that never were. Taylor explains that could happen if a therapist or someone gave a prior suggestion. He shakes his head. He doesnt believe she planted a false suggestion. It did happen, but why he is just remembering it now? She explains that he adored his mother so he didnt want to shame her. He wanted to find a way to make things okay for her. He sighs he remembers pretending that he didnt see. She tells him that is actually the most loving thing he could have done. He states he used to practice being quiet .and staying still just waiting and waiting until hed heard that they had left. Until she was paid. Taylor asks if his mother couldnt find work? He barks that she had choices. Everyone has choices. He doesnt know what his were, but he knew right from wrong. She understands his frustration. And maybe that is why right and wrong is such a high priority in his life. Maybe this is why he holds himself and others to such high standards. And he doesnt give them a second chance. Again he barks that he just wants decent, honest human beings in his life. Is that wrong? She replies no. He extols that is why he left when he did, the first chance he got sixteen going on eighteen. On the first ship that would have him. She asks if that was Captain Kramers? He goes and pulls out a sheathed sword that Kramer gave him. Hed told him he could be a pirate now. And Nick had vowed if he ever saw him again, hed give it back to him right between the ribs.
Taylor tells him he shouldnt blame himself for leaving. Nick states that his mother was drinking too much at night. He couldnt get her to stop; couldnt even get her attention. Taylor asks what did she say when he left? He remarks very little, just why did he have to be one of them? A sailor. And he just wanted the quickest route to get the furtherest away. She wonders if on some level he thought if he became like these sea captains that his mother loved that she would love him and be with him more? He says no, he didnt want to be like them. He wanted to be the one to GIVE the orders to THEM. She exclaims that he lost control as a child so power became very important to him. He says power is important to everyone and she is a liar if she doesnt believe it.
She asks when he had shore leave, did he visit her? He says he sent money. Holidays and vacation? He said he didnt go back, and she didnt ask. They had an understanding ..an understanding he didnt get until today. He tells her of being a boy and collecting bottles for two cents on the return. So he used to go through vacant lots and parks and trash cans. His mother even saw him do it a few times and she kept reminding him they had their pride! But then she stopped saying that. She tells him she is so sorry he is feeling the pain that he is. It isnt fair. He lashes that its not fair, but he doesnt know what to do with it. He doesnt know and he never has. She tells him nothing new has happened. Its the past and its just that the past. He cant rewrite it, but now that hes aware of it, he can use it to change himself so it wont affect his future. He divulges then he should thank her because hes got to believe its better to know .to know who you are. She asks what has he learned about himself? Does he think he responds to humiliation? Maybe hes a little overly protective of the women in his life because he couldnt do that for his mother? Shes just hoping this is helping him see himself in a new light. He gulps, all I know is that its nice to know that you care about me.
Taylor goes back to her office and starts transcribing on her recorder her session with Nick. Hes ambivalent about therapy and she is afraid this might be their last session. Its nearing dusk and Nick sits dejected on the deck listening to the waves. Jackie walks up and remarks that Taylor was there an awfully long time, not just 55 minutes. She changes the subject by saying she doesnt think Clarke has an original thought in his head, can Nick talk to him? She realizes Nick is not acting like himself and this worries her. This therapy is what the Forresters want. They WANT him to fail. He mutters something about failing making him look the other way. He asks does she remember the days when work was hard to find? She replies yes, those character building days, everyone has them. He reminds her of the bottle collecting days why was that beneath them? People do worse to make ends meet. She says she guesses it was her upbringing. She remarks what hed heard before, if nothing else, you had your PRIDE. He asks did they?
Jackie remarks has it come to this? Taylor thinks she has warped him for life for not letting him go out and pick up dirty, tossed out old bottles. She doesnt think he turned out so badly. He says he doesnt think so either, but why was it wrong? She remarks that she loved him so much. He was her little man. He wanted to help, but what was the difference in $2 or $3 a week going to make? It wasnt his responsibility to support them, it was hers. Slowly he brings it up. Did she sell the pearls? The ones Captain Kramer gave her. She hedges, but finally admits yes she did. She took them to a pawn broker. She tells him she wore them until he quit asking about them, so what was so terrible in that? He replies, I guess I just wish I could have given you more to pawn. Terribly uncomfortable, she starts to go back to work. Nick demands to know more about Captain Kramer. She reveals that he was his friend, not hers. He demands more. She says she remembers that he was good to Nick. He asks was he good to HER? She admits he was kind. He definitely tried to help them. He asks about Captain May? She says she appreciated anyone that showed an interest in Nick ..because he was starved ..he didnt have a grown man to look up to, he was starved for that. He walks toward her confronting her. He says he was and he wasnt. He actually liked these men and then he couldnt stand the sight of them. She laughs that she can understand that. He must have been so bored with their dull talk and conversations. Conversation isnt why they were there. Was it, Mother?
She hangs her head and tells him this is really unfair what he is doing to her. He tells her that she was his whole world. And suddenly he didnt care about bottle caps and he left and she never asked why. She declares she didnt want to stand in his way. He shouts that she knows what he is asking. She states she doesnt hear a question. He says, why did I leave? She remarks that he was ready, he was ambitious. He snarls that she couldnt tell him as a boy, she couldnt tell him then Dont make me accuse you now. I WANT you to say it. I want you to say what you want to say because it has to be better than the word I am holding back. She fights back the tears.
Taylor continues to dictate into her recorder telling of Nicks revelation that his mother was accepting money from Kramer and these other men for sex. Stephanie walks into the open office and stops long enough to overhear. She is shocked, oh my God, Jacqueline Payne was a whore?
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