The Bold & The Beautiful Update Wednesday 12/6/06
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Eric takes Anns hand and tells her that her nap can wait. She is going to hear what her daughter has come here to say whether she wants to or not. After a pause, Stephanie tells her mother that Eric is right. She needs to hear what she has come all this way to say. Ann warns that they wouldnt have talked to John that way. He thought Stephanie was marrying beneath herself, blah, blah, blah. Eric tells her that shes not listening. Ann tells Eric that she stood up for him. He tells her he doesnt give a rats ass. Pamela asks if theyd like some privacy and go into the sun room. Ann states she doesnt believe she has to listen to such language in her own home. Eric tells her she certainly tolerated plenty in her own home before. Ann wonders what Pamela is blithering about? Pammie reminds her that Stephanie wants to have a heart-to-heart with her. Ann blabs, what heart? Whose heart? If you want to go, go. Ive gone thirty years without so much as a word from you. Stephanie says she is asking her now to listen to her. Ann wonders why everything has to be so dramatic with her? As Ann turns to leave again, Stephanie says no she is not going ..and shes not asking.
Taylor has all the kids assembled and tells them their mother has asked her to explain some things to them. Some of the things are going to be a little bit difficult to hear and hard to understand at first. But, then itll make sense of a lot of things. First, their Grandma Ann is not dead. They all have a shocked, bewildered look on their faces. Thorne says they didnt go to the funeral, but Felicia remembers her mother describing it in detail. Ridge asks why would she want them to think their grandmother dead? Taylor explains that there is always a little truth in every lie. And the fact is that their mother needed to cut her mother out of her life. Felicia still finds it ridiculous as she knows her mother adored her mother .she was the perfect wife, the perfect mother. She held her up as an example, ad nauseam. Taylor points out that was part of her coping mechanism. Some of the things she carried from her childhood into her adult life was too painful so she needed to recreate a false idealized childhood in order to survive emotionally. And then even that was damaged because she asked for help and never got it. Your mother was abused as a child ..by her father. Thats a lot to take in as they look at one another.
Ann walks away to the window. Stephanie tells her that conversation they couldnt have thirty years ago, she thought wasnt necessary she was wrong. Ann spits that she seemed to do well enough without her for thirty years. Stephanie says, no, Mother, not so well. I have this bottomless pit of RAGE that I cant control. And that it has tainted all her relationships, her marriage, and its even cost her husband his whole lifes work. Ann points her finger and says she always warned her about her temper. Stephanie asks if she also warned daddy about his? Ann changes subjects to Pammie. Take her, for instance. Shes always been beautiful and now she is stunning .the sweetest temperament in the world. She tells her for the life of her she doesnt know how Stephanie attracted a husband .more or less .and yet Pammie is still there with her. Pamela says she thinks she better go turn off that electric blanket. Ann tells her no, all you young people can talk the night away, she is going to bed. Stephanie tells her no she isnt. Ann says she is sorry Stephanie is so unhappy, but she did the best she could with her. Stephanie faces her and laments that she seems to think she is trying to take something from her, and shes not. That she remembered everything her mother remembered. the travel, the horses, the parties ..how beautiful her mother was ..how impeccably dressed she was and how graciously and gorgeously she entertained. All the movers and shakers in Chicago wanted to be here to listen to her father, to drink his brandy. I remember the excitement and the privilege of being a Douglas. I remember that. Ann extols well if she is going to take a stroll down memory lane then nothing was ever good enough for little Stevie. Stephanie asks why did they want her to be a boy? Ann replies it was just a nickname. Stephanie says no, it wasnt JUST what he called her. Ann says she was morbidly sensitive, thats what she was. Stephanie pleads why did her mother let him hurt her that way? Always when he drank, which seemed to be almost every night. Ann answers, a man is a man. I mean, if you had acted more like a lady."
Stephanie rails that her father used his hand, his belt, a sharp razor strap, a wooden spoon. And my God, her mother bathed her. She put her in her pajamas every night. She saw the bruises. She put lotion on the welts, yet she did nothing. She begs - Why? She was only a child. Why didnt you stand up for me when I couldnt stand up for myself? Anns face and heart are hardened.
Taylor tells them that Grandpa abused their mother. He was a very powerful man. He had a very quick temper and very high expectations of his first child, who he wanted to carry on his name. He also had a drinking problem. Ridge says he doesnt remember that. Taylor is not trying to excuse him, but he beat her. He did that a lot, even over report cards when she would bring one home or give her some task to do and she didnt do it perfectly. She was constantly put in no-win situations. And Taylor hopes this will help them understand why Stephanie has always been so overly protective of them, trying to give them the protection that she never had.
Ann fires at Stephanie that she bets she is seeing some kind of psychiatrist. Stephanie shakes her head and says she hasnt told her anything she doesnt already know. Ann asks what happened to her? Thirty years has at least brought them some wisdom and peace, but apparently not for Stephanie. She says her mother KNOWS what happened to her. What would it cost her to say it? Ann blithers on that now children run wild in the streets, holding up liquor stores, and girls getting pregnant in the sixth grade. Back then, parents disciplined their children when they deserved it. She points her finger, If .. IF your father ever struck you, you must have DESERVED it. Stephanie is speechless as Ann continues that if she wishes she had turned out better, just dont go blaming her father for her failures. He loved her. Pamela asks her if she remembers when she saw some spots of blood on the sheets and asked her about them? Her mother had told her shed understand when she was older .well, she knew what she meant. But, Stephanie was bleeding from her back. Ann whirls and asks why must she always humor her sister? Just have a little backbone for once. Stephanie is shocked that Pamela knew. Pamela tells her all those years that she had wanted to ask. When she wouldnt go into the pool or shed lock herself in the bathroom, but shed always say go away, she was fine. She didnt want to upset her more so she pretended to believe her.
Ann tells Pamela that she guesses she is going to say he beat her too. Pam says no, he didnt expect that much from her. As long as she dressed nice and got Bs in school. And after supper, the two of them would go into the music room and practice their duets on the piano and theyd hear Stephanie screaming from daddys study, and her mother would just play louder. Doesnt she remember? And if she heard it, then she knows her mother did too. The secret that she was not supposed to know about. No one ever explained anything to her. When youre only the shy little one, its like nothing you say or do makes any difference. Stephanie goes to Pammie and hugs her and tells her that it wasnt up to her to protect her. She glares at her mother and says it was up to her!
Taylor tells them that she knows this is very difficult to hear, but shes hoping it will help them know why their mother has always tried to control their lives. Because she never had control herself as a little girl. She will get better but she just needs to confront these issues. And she is talking to her mother right now. Ridge wonders what good that will do? Their grandfather is dead. Taylor knows, and she explains to Felicia who asks, that he physically abused her. They are talking about bruises and blows that ripped flesh away about a little girl who was so humiliated that she didnt want to go to gym class and change clothes. She didnt want people to see the marks on her body. She was actually trying to protect HIM because she didnt want people to know what he was doing. Ridge acknowledges that he never thought about the pain that might be behind his mothers behavior, and shes been carrying this around silently all these years. Taylor says until today!
Ann defends herself by asking Stephanie when her Ridge came home from the hospital, did anybody give her a handbook of what to do with him for the next thirty years? Their father worked hard to give them a gracious life. Stephanie confirms that she knows he did, and she loved him for it. Ann chastises her that she has a fine way of showing it. She has no doubt that Stephanie found it unpleasant when she misbehaved. But, this fantasy of torture can only be for Erics benefit. Stephanie asks then why does Pammie remember it too? Ann scoffs that is there anyone more suggestible? If Stevie came back from the barn and said shed seen a ghost, theres be no stopping Pammie from saying she had seen it too. And she asks Stephanie if she was suffering so, why hadnt she come to her?
Stephanie grits her teeth and bares her soul and says she did! And her mother had said shame on her, so she had believed she was bad and deserved it. Ann smirks, well, then its just as I said. Stephanie tells her no, she didnt deserve it. No child deserves that. Her mother lashes out while pointing a finger that Stephanies memory is playing tricks on her, not hers. And now she wants to do it to her, rob her of her memories, of the only man she ever loved .and still loves. And to make her think of her happy home as a place of poison and misery. But, I wont allow it. You hear me? I WONT allow it.
As she walks away, Stephanie tells her NO, she is not going to allow her to do this to her again. Shed turned her away as a child and drove her away as an adult and shes had to answer to her children for her failings so why shouldnt her mother have to answer to her?
Taylor tells the kids that their grandmother knew. Felicia cries that she wishes she had known. She laments all those years she battled her mom, her and her tough self standing up to her overbearing mother ..the rebellious child, yeah, right! When the truth was, she was just a brat. Always butting heads with her and pushing her further and further away. Why didnt she appreciate her? She was there for her, always. Now she gets it. She spent all those years making sure they were all self-assured and strong, so that it couldnt happen to them. Ridge offers they only saw what she wanted them to see, her in all her glory. They agree she was the best.
Stephanie asks Ann why is she lying? Was she afraid too? Ann tells her how dare she! Stephanie goes on, was her mother saving herself? If Stephanie wasnt the target, was she afraid for herself? Ann tells her that her father never so much as raised his voice to her. Pam offers that yes he did raise his voice, but her mother left the room. Stephanie concurs, yes thats right and Pamela adds that her mother took her with her. She faces her mother and says she left her. How could she do that when she was her daughter too? Ann declares and yes she loves them more than anything in the world. Stephanie wants to know what good will that do? She pleads with her all that meant was a pat on the head and a kiss on the cheek in the morning. She never got the things she needed from her. And no wonder she has smothered her children with this insane protection. The stuff that she never got from her mother because she never protected ME. My God, Mother, how could you hear me crying out for you? How could you leave me in there? How could she just leave her defenseless and scared and not come to her? She blubbers, how could she do that? You werent there when I needed you, Mother, you werent there!
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