The Bold and The Beautiful Update Tuesday 9/30/03

The Bold and The Beautiful Update Tuesday 9/30/03

by Space Bug

So, we dive right back into the depths of exotic South America on that island that nobody has heard of, only to see our lovely babbling Brooke doing what friends?  Yes, babbling to the mysterious Anna about how she has lost her husband and brother-in law in two days time.  “Oh woe is me” she cries.  “I left him alone for two seconds and now he’s gone!  I knew we should have kept having sex!”  While at the same time on the island that no has heard of Shelia and Ridge, along with Nick and the thugs are catching up on old times, chewing the fat, shooting the “poop”, you get my drift, right?  And Nick pretty much serves as interpreter for Ridge, explaining to him what our lovely little psycho-path is saying ‘cause Ridge was having problems figuring it out himself.  Oh, and Ridge finally remembered that not too long ago, he had a wife named Taylor!  And we also meet Sugar, Shelia’s new partner in crime.  (Come on; are we really that desperate for names?  We’re naming people after food now?  God, and I thought that Shelia’s last comrade Ziggy’s name was bad).

Back in LA, and in the Land of Oz, good old Oscar (who reminds me of a blonde and somewhat smarter version of Joey on friends) is pleading with Macy and Deacon to take the gig.  It’s obvious that the song bird is all for getting a chance to whistle her happy little tune, but her moronic husband/manager isn’t so sure.  He, Deacon of course is all concerned about the money.  Please, tell me, since when has Macy ever been poor?  I some how recall her doing early 90’s covers in coffee shops and bars for free (or peanuts, what ever).  It’s pretty obvious that Macy really doesn’t care about the moo-la.  As the happy couple chats about the gig and how perfect it would be that Macy will be able to be home with big bad Deacon and the kid, you can’t help but notice Deacon continuously looking down Mace’s shirt that screams: “I have boobs and am not afraid to use them!” when he’s not looking at her eyes that are out lined with what looks like a black sharpie.  (Now, let me just say, I love black eye liner and I use it myself every day, and I’m sue that since my completion is very fair that I probably shouldn’t use black and that I’m committing major “black eye liner” faux pas.  But nothing my friends, compares to how thick Macy’s eyes are lined today.  And it’s not even October yet!)

Back on the island that no one knows exists, Brooke is still babbling to the local Anna girl.  She tells her that these people are dangerous, and Brooke’s reply is that they can catch these bad people and throw them in jail!  (Yeah right Brooke, the only thing that you’re going to catch is malaria from the mosquitoes that I’m sure are frantically buzzing around your hole filled head.)  She keeps repeating that “This is my husband”, emphaisizing that statement over and over again like she still can’t believe that she and Ridge are actually married.  Trust me kid, I can’t believe it either.  But Anna, unlike anyone else on this show keeps her mouth shut and doesn’t speak a word about the Marone boys’ wear-abouts.

Over on the other side of the island that no one’s heard about, over in Shelia’s lovely little wear-house decorated by Martha Stewart’s fear-of-prison inspired “grunge” motif, Nick also questions the fact that Shelia’s buddy’s real name is Sugar.  (See, great minds do think a like).  Sugar tells Sheila to can it, that she’s saying too much, but in typical Shelia fashion, she has to play martyr, tell everybody in ear-shot her plan, and then wonder why it never works out.  Nick speaks a little Spanish to a random thug, and he seems to be offended.  Why I wonder?  It’s not like Nick to say a smart assed comment.  Shelia gives her classic: “If everyone shuts up, then no one will get hurt” line, and then goes on to tell Ridge why she’s doing this.  (I could think of a few very good reasons why it would be a wonderful idea to kill Ridge Forrester, but I wouldn’t want to steal Miss Carter’s thunder, now would I?)  How ever, I will give Shelia kudos:  She finally pointed out the obvious to a one “Mr. Newly Wed” that: sure things may have been a little rough, but he’s obviously gotten over Taylor kicking the bucket cause he’s already married and it hasn’t even been a year!  Thank you Shelia!  And Nick is all curled up next to the fire, (ok, tied up) fascinated at the story hour.  (And made a keen statement that Brooke is a very poor judge of character if she was friends with Shelia way back when...DUH!  SHE PICKED RIDGE OVER YOU BUDDY!  NEED I SAY MORE?  Oh, and Ridge threatens to make Shelia regret that she ever left her cell if she hurts, I’d be afraid.  Look what he did when she hurt Taylor...NOTHING!

Back in Oz, as Macy waltzes around on the stage, Deacon still has concerns about Ozzie’s old Vegas connections.  He promises that nothing will happen, and Deacon finally gives the green-light as Macy smiles on.  (In the back round we see a creepy guy with a scar covering his face starring at them).

Ridge tells Shelia that he’ll hunt her down and make her life a living hell.  (Yeah, like Shelia’s life is a walk in the clouds to begin with.)  She tells Nick that he’s as stubborn and as ignorant as his father.  Nick slyly states that he’s not too sure about that yet cause he’s only been a Marone for a couple of months.  Sugar again tries to talk sense into Shelia, but what use is an umbrella in a typhoon, right?  Shelia decides that they might have to kill the brothers Marone after all.

After Anna leaves, we end with Brooke walking mindlessly around the bar (well, how else would she be walking around anywhere, really)?  On the table, she spies a napkin left by Anna with the words:  “Her name is Shelia”, written on it.  “Oh no, it can’t be!” she pants.  Oh yes it can be baby!  *And then that really cool new suspense music that we have now kicks in.

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