Y&R Transcript Monday 04/29/19

Y&R Transcript Monday 04/29/19


Episode #11602 ~ "The Young and the Restless" airs a special tribute to Kristoff St. John.

Provided By Suzanne


Marla: Kristoff st. John was exactly that -- a saint.

Christel: He was just so good.

Doug: He was the most gracious, kind, loving individual.

Rowell: Kristoff gave us unconditional love and joy.

Jess: Millions and millions of people could see that joy in him.

Peter: Quite a legacy.

Melody: He just had such a love of life.

Amelia: He was a gentleman.

Beth: This perfect description of all he was made of. Not one hand out, but both.

Christian: That was him, and you had to take that full force of his truth.

Tracey: To be in his presence, you felt him.

Jason: He'd just look at you, and you're just like, "oh, man, I feel safe."

Peter: Everyone felt that they were the only one in the room when they were with him.

Kate: He was always right there for you.

Amelia: Because he gave so fully of himself, it made you feel like you could give, as well.

Shemar: Kristoff st. John was the man. He was the man.

Joshua: Giant goofball.

Case: When he was allowed, he really was.

Eric: Always a good word, always a joke, always a laugh.

Melody: He didn't just engage you. He would delight you.

Mishael: He just always makes you feel comfortable, no matter who you are.

Daniel: He was like the glue that held everything together.

Rowell: To work with him was effortless.

Eileen: He loved acting, and the he loved the work. He showed everybody that every day.

Christel: He's such a giving actor and just so loving and open. You can feel his heart as you're with him.

Lauralee: He was a genius child actor, as well.

Bryton: What he created as a black actor and his legacy in daytime, we'd call him the "denzel of daytime."

I believe he is the most talented, the most committed, the most unselfish iconic black actor of daytime television.

And the emmy goes to...

Kristoff st. John, "the young and the restless."

[ Cheers and applause ]



Thank you. I don't know what this -- this is incredible. Uh, I'd like to thank bill and lee bell for giving me the chance to play neil winters. Thank you.


The cast that I work with every day, a very beautiful, talented cast. It's a family. The crew, a marvelous crew. My dad, christopher st. John. My mom. And god, for without whom, nothing is important, and with whom, everything is possible. I love you. Thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Kristoff: All right, people. This is why y'all showed up. You want to know about this?

Kristoff: I was hired in 1991, and, uh, bill bell had a role for me. I remember my first day on the stage.

Drucilla: Hey, man, would you watch where you're going?

Neil: Me? Why don't you watch where you're going, young lady?

Drucilla: I was watching, but you was just a blur coming around that corner. Now, what's your hurry?

Neil: I have a meeting to go to.

Drucilla: Oh, really? Well, I used to have a whole day's worth of mail that was very organized until you came racing around the corner.

Neil: Huh.

Drucilla: Well, are you gonna help me pick it up, or are you gonna stand there with your mouth hanging open?

Neil: Who are you?

Drucilla: I'm drucilla barber. I work here.

Neil: I've never seen you here before.

Drucilla: Well, I'm not surprised. You don't look where you're going. You don't look, period!

Neil: [ Sighs ] All right, I'll help, but I only got a couple of minutes, come on.

Drucilla: Oh, lucky me.

Rowell: I remember... I remember when I first met kristoff. Bill hired him and just told me, "vicky, I found your love interest."

Neil: Well, that looks like it's it.

[ Sighs ] Maybe we'll run into each other again sometime.

Drucilla: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, what's your name?

Neil: Neil. Neil winters.

Drucilla: Okay, 8:00, sharp, mr. Neil winters. Thank you.

Rowell: He was just beautiful. Kristoff had that kind of joy and smile from his childhood. It never left him.

Neil: Now, look at you, okay? Now, look at how much your life has changed in the last year, malcolm. You got a career on the fast track, right? You got money in the bank. Next step is, what? Finding yourself a woman, right? And then before you know it -- pow! You're gonna have a family.

Malcolm: Hey, whoa, whoa. Slow down, partner.

Neil: No, I mean it, man. I lucked out, you know, now -- now it's your turn.

Malcolm: You really got it all, don't you, big man?

Neil: Do I really have it all? Let me see here. I got a great job, a beautiful wife, a brand-new baby girl, not to mention one terrific brother.

Malcolm: You really mean that?

Neil: Oh, man, malcolm... the best day besides my little girl being born was the day that you and I connected again.

Malcolm: You know, I feel the same way, man.

Neil: You know, malcolm, I've said it to you before... but I owe you, man, big time.

Malcolm: For what?

Neil: For what? For getting me through last night when they needed my permission to sign the emergency c-section. I mean, you know, I was a basket case. You were there for me. You held me together when my whole world was falling apart, man.

Malcolm: Hey. Hey. You'd have done the same thing for me.

Neil: Well, I hope someday that I can repay you, man.

Shemar: I get a call to audition for a soap opera called "the young and the restless." I come in on april 6, 1994, and I come in with a baseball hat on backwards, sunglasses, and i look like I'm trying to be mad cool, but I was so scared.

Kristoff: I was walking down the hallway of the "the young and the restless" offices.

Shemar: There was five dudes, and then me. Kristoff comes upstairs. Now, this is the man.

Kristoff: The only face that I keyed in on was shemar'S.

Shemar: And he comes on with these blue-tinted sunglasses.

Kristoff: And when I passed by, I stopped, I looked at him, and I put down my shades like this.

Shemar: Just like, "what's up, son? What's up, boy? What's up?" And I'm just like, "uh, hey." You know, I'm like, "damn, that's him, that's him."

Kristoff: And went, "oh, boy, here comes trouble."

Shemar: So we audition. We all go in. Kristoff looks at me. It's my turn, I'm last. He goes, "keep the shades because I know you're nervous, but I got you."

Kristoff: I did show shemar the ropes in the beginning.

Shemar: Because, man, when i give you this look at some point in the scene, take the shades off and just ride with me, and we'll get it done." I have no idea if I was any good, honestly. So I find out -- so, I go to a payphone, I find out I get the job, and on april 12, 1994, it was my first day of work. But what I found out about two weeks into it, is bill bell, he looked at kristoff and said, "who do you like?" And kristoff said, "I want the scared kid with the baseball hat on and the sunglasses to play my brother. He's got a long way to go, but I know he can do it." With this one little

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gas? Bloating? Discomfort?

Lily: Dad, it's my life. All right? It's not your fault.

Neil: Lily, that's -- that's not how I see it. I mean, I -- I wasn't there for you. There was many years that i missed out on, and, unfortunately, I can't make up for that.

Lily: Yeah, and I'm not asking you to.

Neil: Maybe not. Sometimes, I think of you as my little girl.

Lily: Yeah, but I'm not that little girl. You know, I'm old enough now to make my own choices. That's why I have to trust me because I'm not stupid.

Kristoff: The character of lily changed midstream, and christel khalil was brought on to the show.

Christel: The first time i met him was during my screen test to play lily.

Kristoff: I'll never forget watching christel come on the stage.

Christel: He was just so loving and open, and he just kind of was like, "hey! You're gonna do great! This is gonna be so good!" And I was like, "oh, okay!"

Kristoff: Beautiful girl, beautiful smile, wonderful actress. "I'd love to work with her."

Christel: Acting with him wasn't acting. It was the easiest thing I ever had to do. I've never seen an actor who, as soon as he starts speaking, he's just present and he's there.

Neil: And I am always here for you. You know that.

Lily: I know. And speaking of which...

Neil: Mm-hmm.

Lily: You know how I said that I wanted to keep things casual since it's our second time getting married and, um, i wanted to walk myself down the aisle...

Neil: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, whatever -- whatever you want.

Lily: Well, good, because, um... I want you by my side.

Neil: You see that? You see that, right? Because that is what we have. That's the daughter-father connection because -- no, no! Seriously. Whoa, whoa.

Lily: You're such a dork.

Neil: Hold on, I'm not a dork. I was thinking in my head, right when you said that, right when you said it, I was like, "let me walk her down the aisle..."

Lily: Oh, my gosh. Okay, well, clearly, you think-very loud sometimes.

[ Laughs ]

Neil: Oh, yeah? And how about right now?

Christel: Any time I had a scene with kristoff, it didn't feel like I was acting with neil winters, it felt like I was just talking to my dad.

Kristoff: In fact, the name lily is so close to my lola. And is that by chance? Nah. They're both beautiful girls, and christel, I consider her family, one of my daughters.

Neil: And so it begins.

Lily: Hey, dad.

Neil: Hey there, lily. Devon.

Kristoff: When bryton first came on the show, I was thrilled because I had watched "family matters" like nobody's business.

Bryton: Being on that show made me comfortable with being on a set and being in this environment, but I didn't know what it meant to get better and grow as an actor until I got here.

Kristoff: I realized, "I'm working with little richie. Little richie is going to be my son.

Bryton: I knew -- when I got here, I knew what kristoff represented, I knew he could do it all effortlessly.

Neil: I am deeply, deeply sorry for having deceived you.

Devon: Which time?

Neil: I meant it. I meant it when I said that i had a change of heart.

Devon: Because your back was up against the wall. Are you afraid of what I'm gonna do now that I know? Because you sure as hell should be.

Bryton: He just made me feel very safe, like I was his peer, not like I was someone half his age, you know, who wasn't quite there yet. He always made me feel like i was there and wanted me to be there with him.

Devon: [ Chuckles ] I can hear.

Lily: Wait, I mean, how is it? Is it clearer than before?

Devon: Yeah. Oh, my god.

Lily: Oh, my god! Oh, my gosh!

Devon: [ Laughs ]

Neil: Yeah. Yeah.

Devon: [ Laughs ]

Bryton: He made the energy of every day on set about raising us up and about making us feel like he was proud. And he knew that if we could feel that way and have that confidence, it made the entirety of the show, you know, the best it could be.

Peter: Neil winters was a great friend of the abbott family. Kristoff st. John was so much more than that, for all of us. I worked with him for 27 years, got to know him pretty well.

Neil: Um, mr. Abbott? Here's the monthly status report& on key customers, sir.

Jack: Thanks. Oh, uh, wait. You're, uh -- you're neil. Neil winters. You did the product focus groups report for me.

Neil: Yes. Yes, sir, that's me.

Jack: You did a hell of a job. Keep up the good work.

Neil: Yes, sir. I certainly will. Thank you, mr. Abbott.

Peter: I had to do some of my most difficult scenes -- jack goes off the cabin and is gonna take some pills, and just before he does, he calls his sponsor. Kristoff showed up, and just took over.

Neil: I hear you, brother. I do. But know this -- you're still jack abbott. Does jack know how many lives he's touched, how many lives he's saved? Well, let me tell you something, I thank jack abbott because, see, that's who you really are. And nothing that you learn about yourself can change that. So don't play yourself, jack, and don't tell me that everything that you believe in has been destroyed and is gone. Because that's not how it is, and it never will be.

Peter: It seems to be a recurring theme, how everyone felt that they were the only one in the room when they were with him.

Mishael: When you look at him, something happens to you as an actor. You forget that you're acting. You forget about the cameras. And you just see this... incredibly giving, honest, open person.

Jess: When he got hired, i thought he was gorgeous, and i thought that he was a keeper here. I thought he'd do really well here.

Jill: I am not rattled, believe me. I haven't felt this good in a long, long time. Now, if you'll excuse me...

Neil: You have a date tonight, don't you? I thought so. So, come on, jill. Who's the new man in your life?

Jill: Oh, you wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Neil: Try me.

Jill: No, forget it. Just forget we had the whole conversation.

Neil: Uh-huh. It's that hot, huh?

Jill: [ Sighs ] It's incendiary.

Neil: Ooh.

Jack: Wish me luck.

Neil: I don't think she's gonna need it.

Jess: He was very, very there and present and so realistic.

Jill: [ Laughs ] Look at him! Father of the bride, just sitting here, eating cake.

[ Laughter ]

Neil: Evidently, I'm being asked to say something, and i don't really have much to say.

[ Laughter ] No, I'm kidding. Really. You said your vows, and now it's my turn. Um, lily... I love you so much, first of all, okay? But I want to thank god for your smile because you light up my life, and I'm sure you light up everyone else's lives here. I want thank god for your love and joy, as you make me feel ever-so-special. And I want to thank god for you. Yeah, you, this guy, right here. For proving that you are gonna keep my daughter safe and you're gonna keep her loved.

Cane: Yes, I will.

Neil: And, dru, I know you are extremely proud of the two of them, as I am. Cheers.

Cane: Cheers. Thank you.

Jill: Well done.

Neil: And I had nothing to say.

Jill: I know, that's what you said.

Daniel: I remember one of my first scenes with kristoff, where I had to tell him that i loved lily.

Neil: Are you in love with her?

Cane: Yes, sir, I think I am.

Daniel: We had this scene. He's berating me about the age thing, and he just, like, gave me this scene, and I'm just, like, watching him talk to me, and I was like, "wow." It's the first time I really understood the depth he had as an actor.

Neil: Let me tell something about my daughter, if you don't already know. She's very strong-willed and independent, which I'm sure you find very attractive. But she's also young and vulnerable. See, the word "love," it's a very powerful word, right?

Cane: Yeah.

Neil: Don't use it lightly with my daughter because it can be devastating.

Daniel: And then, all of a sudden, it just made sense. I realized, "wow, this is an icon." I'm in the presence of greatness. I really was.

Neil, the way you turned out... I'm proud of you, son. I'm so proud of you.

Neil: [ Sobbing ]

[ Sighs ] Mom... -keep it down there. I have a system.

Hilary: [ Laughs ] Thank you... for being kind and loving and sexy... and for making terrible picks at march madness.

Mishael: It was one of our vow scenes that I had to do. In the middle of a the scene, i could tell it just wasn't going the way that we rehearsed it. He knew I could do better. And he dropped a line. And I saw it in his eyes that he dropped that line for me.

[ Laughter ] Because he was like, "you can do better than this," like, "you got this." And I just -- I just felt so seen and so appreciated and just -- he didn't have to do that.

Rowell: He didn'T.

Mishael: And the fact that he just, you know, threw himself on the sword just for me, and he was just like, "no, no. We need to do it again. Yeah, let's do that again." And he made it look like it was for him, but I saw it in his eyes it was for me. And then we did it again, and it was amazing, and it was the best scene ever.

Hilary: I love you. And us. I am so lucky and so grateful.

Neil: I'm the lucky one.

Eileen: One of the biggest blessings of being on this show was the last six months when i got to work with him. And it was a surprise. We didn't really know we were gonna be thrown together.

Ashley: What?

Neil: I think this dinner has officially become a celebration. And that, my dear, calls for this celebration.

Ashley: [ Laughs ] Okay. What are we celebrating?

Neil: Being stress-free.

Ashley: Oh!

Neil: At least for tonight.

Ashley: Oh!

[ Both laugh ]

Neil: I love that.

Ashley: What, my dancing, right?

Neil: Your laugh.

Ashley: Oh. You know what, I haven't really felt much like laughing lately. But I'm realizing that things are just so... effortless with you.

Neil: Like this?

Eileen: I just really cherish those scenes because working with him was like breathing because he was such a giving soul and a lovely man, and no matter what was going on in his personal life, he always made a point of asking you how you were and what was going on with you, and that you mattered.

Before we begin the formal ceremony, permit me, if you will, a few personal comments.

Rowell: Kristoff was always trying to get people on the show...

[ Laughter ] And he just wanted to share, right? So his dad was our minister.

Bryton: That's his dad? Wow.

Christel: Oh!

Rowell: This is his dad, christopher st. John.

Since neil and drucilla have consented together in the bond of matrimony and have pledged themselves each to the other, in the presence of these witnesses, I now declare that they are husband and wife. Those whom god has joined together, let no man put asunder. Amen.

Neil: Amen.

Neil, you may kiss your bride.

Neil: Kiss my bride.

[ Laughter, applause ]

Rowell: To work with him was effortless.

Neil: Everything okay?

Drucilla: Yeah, she said our daughter's fast asleep.

Neil: Yeah, fast asleep, probably dreaming of boys.

Drucilla: Well, what else, honey? She's a teenager. So, listen...

Neil: Mm.

Drucilla: Did you really enjoy dancing with me tonight?

Neil: Oh, dru, honey, do you really have to ask me? I learn new moves every time I'm out with you.

Drucilla: I know that's right. So, how come we don't do it anymore? You know, we used to go dancing all the time, remember? Remember, we used to be out there like --

Neil: Baby, baby. I got an idea.

Drucilla: What? What?

Neil: Why don't we do some more dancing right now? I'll go warm up the stereo, put on your favorite cd. Come on.

Drucilla: Oh, wait, wait, wait. You know what, you know what, we haven't had this apartment to ourselves in weeks.

Neil: Mm.

Drucilla: I was thinking we could be a little more creative.

Neil: Okay. All right. I like where you're headed with this. What do you have in mind?

Drucilla: Well, I thought that we would go to bed early tonight, right?

Neil: Yeah...

Drucilla: And I would give you one of my special coconut oil rub-downs.

Neil: Oh, I'm loving that.

Drucilla: You know we need to rest after that one. [ Laughs ]

Neil: I'm loving that. Yeah, let's keep the coconut oil hot...

Drucilla: Yeah.

Neil: In the meantime, why don't we play some fun and games?

Drucilla: Fun and -- wait. What are you talking about, fun and games?

Neil: Come on. Good things come to those who wait. How about a little two-handed poker?

Rowell: I don't imagine in my lifetime I will ever have a scene partner like him, and certainly not for 14 years.

Neil: No, you're not doing this for me, are you?

Drucilla: I know that. I was doing it to loosen nathan up for myself. But there's no reason why the four of us can't walk away from this happy campers.

Neil: Okay, fine. Right. All right, why don't you just walk away, out of the office, right now? Come on, let's go. I got work to do. Come on, let's go.

Drucilla: You know what...

Neil: Go on.

Drucilla: You're gonna make olivia one lucky lady, I'm telling you right now. And, you know what, honey, you are so fine. She is just gonna --

Neil: Get out of here, you! Go on! Crazy girl.

"The young and the restless"

will continue.

Kristoff: The masquerade ball was one of the coolest things that I've ever been a part of as an actor.

Please welcome dionysus, the greek god of wine, who will surely try to work his magic on the beautiful diana tonight.

[ Applause ]

Kristoff: It was one of the rare occasions that everyone was onstage. I will never forget it. There will never be another memory like that.

Case: And when we would shoot group scenes, if kristoff was gonna be in the scene...

Camryn: Oh, no...

Case: We were laughing and horsing around in the scene.

Joshua: Purposely kept us apart.

Case: Yeah.

Nick: I'd pay money to get jack on the dance floor.

Jack: Hey, I got rhythm.

Neil: Wait a minute. Now, you should turn that music on because jack and I are gonna bust a move!

Nick: Ooh!

Joshua: My favorite was when we played basketball. What a lot of people don't know is if you look at our knees, we have knee braces. We had both come off major knee surgery.

Nick: What you doing out here? Is it seniors day?

Neil: Must be seniors day. You're here.

Joshua: Kristoff's like, "dude, should we do this?" I'm like, "I think we got to do it man. We'll just try and take it easy." And it looked like two really old, slow guys trying to play basketball against each other. And we laughed about it so much.

Nick: Oh, no!

Neil: Oh! What is that? Um, son, that is game!

Nick: Whatever. Whatever.

Joshua: I was so much better than him.

[ Laughter ]

Christel: I remember a scene when it was me, greg rikaart, and michael graziadei, and it was when me and daniel, the character, were together. And so he's, like, upset with daniel and kevin. Me, daniel, and kevin are in, like, this break room, and kristoff comes up...

Kevin: Do we know what we're gonna tell her dad?

Christel: We were talking about it, and he goes, "whose dad?"

Neil: Tell whose dad what?

Christel: Lily's dad?

[ Laughter ]

Neil: What's going on, y'all?

Kristoff: I said, "you don't want to mess with this black man." And greg looked at me and he said, "that's not in the script."

[ Laughs ] I said, "it is now, greg."

[ Laughter ]

Melody: That's great.

Eric: Kristoff... he was a ray of sunlight. When he came in, he just lightened up the stage, didn't he?

Kristoff: Neil entered into victor's life many, many years ago. I love that period of the show because it just -- it gave me the opportunity to, um, work with eric and find out who he really was. And I still don't really know, but a little bit. You know, I got a little bit.

Victor: I want you to know that I've entrusted you with this because you have proven to be loyal to me. I know I can trust you.

Eric: Neil was one of the few people that victor really trusted. That applies to real life, as well. He was one of the very few people I trusted.

Victor: I'm determined to be back in a week.

Nikki: A week? Oh, victor.

Neil: Hey, it's obvious. This man right here, he's trying to show off.

Victor: Oh, you see right through me, neil.

Kristoff: Eric braeden is always present when he's working. He wants the scene to work. Maybe more for him. Eric, I love you, man. You know I can say that about you, man. Come on. We boys, aren't we?

[ Laughter ]

Eric: [ Laughs ]

Joshua: Giant goofball.

Case: He really was.

Christel: All I can think of are just his silly stories. That's all I can think of.

Kristoff: My I.V. Is empty! Doc! Nurse! Come on!

[ Growls, burps ]

[ Laughter ]

Shemar: He was goofy because he wanted to make everybody laugh, make everybody happy.

Kristoff: Queen to king, and check mate! That's not it. You want me to what? You're dead!

[ Laughs ]

Daniel: [ Laughs ]

Kristoff: And now moses is here. Moses! Mos-- moses!

Comin' to carry me

[ Voice cracking ] Home

home can't even sing.

Drucilla: Get your stupid doll out of here!

Neil: Hey, don't forget your lunch!

Drucilla: Yeah, you jerk!

Neil: Bye!

Kristoff: [ Laughs ] How did you do that?

[ Laughter ] Oh, that's one sick picture. How did they do that? Hey, we're working here!

Malcolm: [ Laughs ]

Kristoff: Now, I know you ain't keeping that.

[ Laughter ]

Rowell: Most mankind isn't all mankind, and kristoff, i think we can agree, was not most people.

Melody: He just had such a love of life.

Neil: Thank you.

Melody: Whenever we would go to a party or an event, the first thing I wanted to know when I walked in the door was "where's kristoff?" Because I knew wherever he was, that's where the fun was being had.

Eric: That's right.

Melody: And I wanted to be encompassed in that. And he never disappointed.

Bryton: He had the strength to make the choice every day he came to work here to be joyful.

Rowell: That's right.

Bryton: And to find a levity in the world and in his own life when he was here.

Neil: Let me tell you something, young man. I have made my share of mistakes. So who am I to judge? Look at everything I got. I got you, I got lily, moses, grandkids. I couldn't ask for a better father's day.

Neil: Sharon, every marriage goes through their share of problems. What doesn't break you apart makes you stronger.

Sharon: Did you read that in a book somewhere?

Neil: Possibly.

Sharon: [ Chuckles ] I knew it.

Neil: No marriage is perfect. Look at dru and me. You know, a lot of people said that we didn't fit well together. Like hell. We fit like a glove. And, yeah, we may have fought a lot. But we never went to bed mad at each other. The point is, we loved each other very much. And I miss her every day.

Sharon: I can see why she loved you so much. Thank you.

Neil: Oh, sure.

Case: Every time I saw him, he was happy, and he was horsing around and having a great time.

Neil: Wait. Listen to me. If you ever need to talk or hear from a friend that you're not losing it, I want you to call me, okay? You've had a few rough months. You're not alone. There are people who care.

Victoria: Thank you. That's nice to hear. I'm in better shape because of you.

Amelia: I got to give him a great big hug the last time i saw him. That's just kristoff. He just has a way about him that takes all of your -- and then it goes away, and then you just give him a hug, and I'm so glad that that was the last time, and I had a chance to hug him.

Rowell: Just like when he hugged me, and I'm sure it was true for all of us, that he really hugged us.

Jess: He would open his arms and hug you. That hug was true. But like you were so special to him. Not like, "oh, there's jess. Hi, jess." It was like you were super-special to him and did mean something to him.

Melody: You mentioned his hugs, and, of course, those hugs are famous. I mean, he just -- he instilled all the joy and wonderment of life in those hugs, and you came away with so much more than just a hug.

Jason: He gave you a hug, and he was instant, and he had an amazing ability just to drop in with you and be so present.

Marla: I met him -- oh, gosh, it was the late '70s, '80s -- on "generations." And then, when I came back here, he was in my first scene back here.

Dina: Bonjour, gentlemen.

Devon: It's our pleasure, madame mergeron. I'm devon hamilton. It's ery nice to meet you.

Marla: What was most memorable -- he ad-libbed and reached over and took my hand and kissed it. And I just melted. He was such a kind, generous, loving man. And that's how I like to remember him.

Shemar: He's touched so many lives, not just mine. Yours, yours, and so many others, and we all know that. And the only thing I've ever known as a brother and felt unconditional love as a brother was kristoff st. John.

Neil: I might have a long road to travel. I admit it, I'm scared. To you. It's not denial. It's optimism. That I got you. And I can beat this with you and a whole lot of other people that I'm walking on this road with, so I thank you. And I love you, man.

Malcolm: You're my brother, man. You're all I got.

Doug: I found something that I sent him years ago. These are not my words, but it reminded me of who he is, truly. And it says... "the truly creative mind in any field is no more than this -- a human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them, a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, and a lover is a god, and failure is death.

Neil: Katherine, I'm sorry. I got here as quickly as i could.

Katherine: Sit down, neil. We've been approved!

Neil: You're kidding. Fantastic! You know what? Now -- now's the time to celebrate.

Katherine: Full steam ahead, neil. Full steam ahead! Yes!

Neil: [ Laughs ]

Katherine: Oh, yes, yes, yes!

Neil: Congratulations.

Kristoff: It feels like a real accomplishment. I've been a part of something that will somehow be in a time capsule up there, and I'm part of that. Yeah. I'm one of the brothers on "the young and the restless." I'm one of the sons. I'm one of the family members. I was there.

Shemar: He carried me. He embraced me. He was always my mentor. I always looked up to him. And the stronger I got, the prouder he got. He always gave me confidence that I could do it, I could do it. And when I went out there and tried to fly, he was so proud of me. He was so proud of me. But he carried me. So this was my way. Whenever I saw him, I was like, "no, no, you done carried me enough, I'm gonna carry you." And now he's gone, but I'm gonna keep on carrying him, and I'm gonna keep on trying to make him proud. That's my brother. That's my brother.

Eileen: I'm gonna miss him.

Marla: Oh, we all are.

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Joshua: I just hope he knows how much I loved him, how much we all did. He was part of us. We do so much around here. We work so long. We are invested in each other's lives because we spend all this time together, and...

Amelia: I just feel like that was a gift because I got to see him with everybody.

Daniel: His heart was just so giving. He would turn up at my house on my kids' birthdays and just be at the door with bags of presents. He couldn't give enough.

Eric: He was a man's man. You just instinctively trusted him.

Peter: That was really kristoff's greatest gift. He reminded us all to be grateful.

Jess: We were lucky to have him. When you get a special person like this -- he was able to share himself with the world.

Christel: I'm so grateful for him. He helped change my life.

Bryton: I miss him every day.

Lauralee: I look at this picture, and I see two of my favorite guys in this photo, and I just have to hope that they are up there together. Huge respect for each other. Huge love.

Doug: Huge love.

Lauralee: And I'll think of him always.

Rowell: He was an anchor for us as actors.

Bryton: Yeah.

Rowell: And without kristoff, we would not have, I think, had the legacy that was built.

Lily: It's okay. Come on. Thank you, mom and dad.

Devon: Yeah.

Kristoff: Thank you for sharing in this adventure, this mighty ship that has sailed for so long. I love you.

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