Y&R Transcript Tuesday 2/6/18

Y&R Transcript Tuesday 2/6/18

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Episode #11335 ~ Billy encourages Jack and Ashley to make amends; Noah drowns his sorrows; Tessa defends Mariah.

Provided By Suzanne

Previously on "the young and the restless"...

Jack: You've finally done it -- run straight to the enemy. Turn in your security pass and your company computer. You're no longer welcome at jabot.

Noah: I'm glad that this happened now rather than years down the line. So if you still want tessa, she's yours.

J.T.: I got to give her credit. Whoever she is, she's good.

Here you are, miss west. All in cash.

Chelsea: I'm not happy that we lost money to some crook, but at least it's over. Take the write-off and move on.

Sharon: Nick opened up a wall or a duct or something and found a bunch of hidden cash. It's close to a quarter of a million bucks. Talk about good timing.

[ Door opens ]

Billy: What's going on, csi? Who got whacked?

Phyllis: Fenmore's credibility and their bank account.

Billy: So you created an evidence board for a fake website?

Phyllis: Billy, it's fraud, okay? A copycat website is selling chelsea 2.0 designs.

Billy: Okay, shouldn't have joked.

Phyllis: Someone has to track down this alexandra west. It looks like that someone's gonna be me, unless you have a better idea.

Billy: Definitely shouldn't have joked.

Phyllis: Last night I found a clue that might be our missing part of the puzzle.

Billy: Okay, and what is it?

Phyllis: This, my friend, is our most likely suspect.

[ Computer keys clacking ]

Chelsea: Hey, handsome. Perfect timing. I was just finishing up some work.

Nick: Check out the snazzy laptop. Is that new?

Chelsea: Hardly. I just usually keep this one at the office.

Nick: All right, well, fire it back up. We're putting in some new fixtures at rainbow gardens, and mom's handling most of the details, but I would love to get your opinion on it, so...

Chelsea: This one's almost out of battery, so why don't you get your tablet?

Nick: All right.

Devon: Hey, tessa.

Tessa: Hi.

Devon: [ Sighs ] Are you still working on that project from earlier?

Tessa: Uh, yes. I am just about done. I was able to create a spreadsheet on some of those music labels.

Devon: Thank you. But for right now, I want you to focus on how we're going to absorb gc buzz into the hamilton-winters family. I have a few ideas, but I want to get some more in the mix. So hilary's on her way over here, as well as mariah. Is that gonna be a problem?

Mariah: How could it be? You basically gave us no choice but to make nice.

Devon: So we're all on the same page.

Hilary: I am late again because I was dealing with the valet. Why was I dealing with the valet? Oh, because I don't have a parking spot. Why don't I have a parking spot? Oh, I don't know! You! You tell me!

Jack: Are you working in here?

Ashley: Evidently I am.

Jack: I suppose I can work in the den.

Ashley: Sounds like a pretty good idea to me.

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Hilary: It amazes me that there has still be no progress on setting up an office for me to use here.

Devon: And what is that? Number 34 or 35 on your list of demands?

Hilary: It's not just a demand, devon. It's a logical requirement.

Devon: You know you have an office at gc buzz, right?

Hilary: And that's fine when I am working on my show. But when I am concentrating on the bigger picture, I need to be here. I told you that I wanted a seat at the table, a true partnership.

Devon: Well, you know, when a whale eats krill, it's not a partnership. It's dinner. I bought your company.

Hilary: You saw that I was halfway to a media empire, and you wanted in.

Mariah: Oh, is that what happened? Good to know.

Hilary: Okay, can I just remind all of you that I'm gonna need maternity leave down the road? So right now is the best time for me to get fully invested in what you and I are trying to create here.

Devon: How about this? You can hot-desk it right there for the time being, and in the future we'll revisit the office issue. How about that?

Hilary: I guess that will have to do.

Devon: Good.

Mariah: Thank god! Thought my ears were gonna start bleeding.

Tessa: [ Chuckles ]

Mariah: Did I say that out loud?

Devon: Listen, guys, for now can we forget about offices and parking spaces and focus on how we're going to use gc buzz most effectively?

Hilary: Well, I don't like the word "use," but I do have some ideas. All right, I just sent you a file. Read it, and then we can discuss. Hot tea, herbal. Thank you.

Devon: Well, this discussion isn't just between you and me, 'cause I want to hear what you have to think. I want to hear what you have to think.

Hilary: Are you serious?

Devon: I'm very serious. Which is why I've arranged for an offsite meeting tonight. It'll be a nice team-building exercise. So grab your coats and let's go.

Hilary: [ Sighs ]

Jack: No, I appreciate your perspective, but pull up the latest profit sharing figures. Get that file out.

Ashley: Exactly.

Jack: See what I mean. Look there.

Ashley: Jack. Do you mind?

Jack: I could say the same thing. This is an important phone call.

Ashley: Take it in the den. Please.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Jack: Mrs. Martinez has left for the day. Maybe you could answer that.

Ashley: I'll have to call you back.

Jack: I'll get back to you, all right?

Traci: Jack? Ashley? I left my key upstairs! Somebody! Hey, can you let me in?! Oh!

Jack: Hey, hey.

Traci: Thank goodness. Thank you for letting me in out of the cold. Oh, my gosh. It's cold outside. You are not going to believe who I ran into. Um, do you remember raymond? Um, I can't remember his last name. Let's see. Uh, he's the one with the red hair, you know? Um, uh, his father had the deli that was over by school.

[ Sighs ] Anyway, uh, raymond now has his own chain of sandwich shops, and I was thinking that you would both be tickled to hear it because you insisted that we always go to his father's place.

Ashley: Honey, that was jack.

Jack: No, that was you.

Traci: Okay. This is ridiculous. Um, egg salad, tuna, roast beef on rye. But the two of you are going to deny any of it ever happened just so you can get another dig in at each other.

Ashley: Well, for some people, apparently history is irrelevant.

Jack: Some feel the same way about loyalty.

Traci: Guys, just drop it. Just for two minutes. Can't you drop it?

Jack: No, apparently we can'T. You know, I do have a remedy. Ashley could always move out.

Ashley: Of course, because I'm not abbott blood, so obviously I couldn't live in the abbott home.

Jack: For years you lived outside of this house.

Ashley: For years I trusted you. Things change.

Traci: [ Sighs ] Can we please just stop it? Ah.

[ Sighs ] All right.

Phyllis: Sharon told me that supposedly chelsea was shocked -- shocked about the cash. She and nick decided that it must have been adam who stashed the money away for an emergency fund.

Billy: We talking like stacks of fives and tens here or...

Phyllis: How much do you want to bet it's the exact same amount that the chelsea 2.0 fake site raked in?

Billy: Okay, respectfully, phyllis, if I may --

Phyllis: Please don't tell me I'm wrong.

Billy: I'm not gonna say wrong. You just seem a little eager. I mean, you're accusing chelsea of major fraud here.

Phyllis: Wouldn't be the first time she went full-on criminal.

Billy: Okay, fine. But why now?

Phyllis: You know what? I don't know. Maybe with hilary broadcasting her con artist past, maybe she decided she needed her own emergency fund.

Billy: Chelsea's reformed. I mean, she's dating nick. How straight-laced and boring can it get?

Phyllis: Okay, are you forgetting the fact that she manipulated old women? She was willing to let you rot in a prison cell in myanmar? No, she is not an angel.

Billy: I didn't say she was an angel.

Phyllis: I got a vibe off of her yesterday.

Billy: You got a vibe?

Phyllis: She -- she was resistant to going to the police. She didn't think it was good. She thought it was gonna hurt her brand. She was afraid it was gonna invite copycats.

Billy: Doesn't that seem logical enough for you?

Phyllis: Maybe. But something about it didn't sit right with me.

Billy: Okay.

Phyllis: Then when I heard about the money in the wall... bingo.

[ Cellphone chimes ]

Billy: I got to take off for a second.

Phyllis: That's fine. I'll stay here. I'm gonna connect the dots and follow the breadcrumbs, but i think I know exactly where they're gonna lead me.

Mariah: Are you sure that you want to do this here?

Devon: Well, when I made the reservation, I confirmed that noah wasn't working.

Mariah: That was a smart move.

Devon: I know.

Mariah: And a good guy.

Devon: All right. So you guys know that I wanted to do some team building.

Tessa: Yeah, I was scared you meant one of those exercises where you fall and the other person catches you.

Mariah: Yeah, but then they check their phone instead and you hit your head and you die.

Tessa: [ Laughs ]

Mariah: Sorry. Go on.

Devon: It's okay. Uh, I want you guys to know that this here is a safe space. There is no such thing as a bad idea.

Hilary: Oh, yes, there is. I hear them all day long.

Devon: Well, not tonight. The objective here is to figure out how we can best utilize the built-in synergy that we have going on at hamilton-winters. Now, I think that lp streaming can obviously start supplying acts to gc buzz and "the hilary hour," and I think power communications can help boost both of those markets just like pieces to a puzzle. Um, and I have a memo from neil that I'll read to you guys a little bit later, but right now I want to hear what you guys think and how you see us making the best of this partnership.

Mariah: Well, I've actually had this idea for a while. Why don't we franchise? They pay us or, rather, you a licensing fee, and they provide their own local talent and stories.

Hilary: We are gonna trust random people in podunk towns with gc buzz?

[ Chuckles ] No. I have worked way too hard building up this brand to see it tainted. Besides, I am the draw. My face, my name, my personality.

Mariah: Yeah. It's all you up there, all by yourself, nobody else.

Hilary: This is not about ego, mariah. This is about identity. The show is called "the hilary hour," not "randos on parade." Now, what I think makes more sense is if we continue with our uplifting, empowering stories but then we also add a regular feature or we can do a spinoff about my pregnancy, the birth, all of my baby's milestones.

Devon: Well, I hear you, and I appreciate your enthusiasm, but we can't build a show around something that hasn't happened yet.

Hilary: Of course we can! Okay, I am well on my way to motherhood. I am young, I am healthy, I have the best medical care possible. In fact, I could be pregnant right now. Just water for me, please. Thank you.

Nick: All right, after I run these upstairs to the kids, they're gonna be good to go for the night. Any thoughts on dinner?

Chelsea: I'll check the fridge, but we might need to resort to takeout.

Nick: Love it. Any new info on the fraud case?

Chelsea: Not since yesterday. I assume whoever was behind the whole thing felt the heat and just bolted. I'm sure he's onto his next target already.

Nick: Well, I'm glad your company is safe, and I really wish we could nail alexandra west, you know, to keep from doing this to somebody else.

Chelsea: If I never have to hear that name again, it'll be too soon. Oh! I meant to tell you, christian's new thing is putting his pants on backwards after he uses the potty.

Nick: Yes! My son is a maverick.

Chelsea: [ Laughs ] He is.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Phyllis: Hey.

Chelsea: Phyllis.

Phyllis: Sorry I didn't call first. Can I come in?

Chelsea: Uh, yeah. What's up?

Phyllis: I just can't get that fake website out of my brain.

Chelsea: Oh. Yeah, I appreciate your concern, but, you know, J.T. Did everything he could.

Phyllis: Well, it's not his company that's being targeted. But you and I, we take it personally. I know as part of fenmore's, i am not about to give up, and i know for certain you're not gonna give up.

Chelsea: Well, actually, I-i respect J.T.'S opinion.

Phyllis: Really? Wow. Wow. I mean, I thought you'd be fired up and ready for blood. I know you didn't want to go to the cops.

Chelsea: What's done is done, phyllis. And ravi, I mean, he's all over this. He's gonna make sure that this never happens again.

Phyllis: I know, but the person is still out there, whoever did this. You know, they're gloating that they ripped us off. They're spending money that's not theirs. And I just...you know, close. I'm really close, chelsea, to figuring out who did this to us. And I think if you and I just put our heads together, we'll figure out the answers, right here, right now. So can we just -- let's sit down, okay? Let's just figure this out.

Chelsea: You know, the thing is, um, the boys have eaten yet. The kids are gonna be down soon, so I really don't want to discuss this in front of them. Let's go out.

Phyllis: All right, then.

Chelsea: Yeah.

Nick: You were right. His pants were on -- hey, phyllis. You guys going somewhere?

Chelsea: Yeah, I'll be back really soon. It's just some business stuff, okay?

Nick: Okay.

Chelsea: Ready? See you soon.

Nick: Bye.

[ Door closes ]

Jack: Hey, what brings you by?

Ashley: Hey! I thought I heard your voice.

Billy: Yeah, just passing through. But I forgot my helmet and flak jacket, so hold the fire, okay?

[ Laptop rings ]

Traci: Well, that's weird. It's a video call. Looks like it's abby's number.

Jack: It's the middle of the night in france.

Ashley: Okay, something has to be wrong.

Traci: [ Sighs ]

Dina: Who are you?

Traci: Hi! It's me.

Dina: Well, I wanted to see jackie and ashley, so do your job, dear, please, and put them on.

Devon: I got to tell you, everything I've been hearing from you guys so far has been fantastic, which just proves that hamilton-winters made the right decision in acquiring

gc buzz.

Hilary: Of course it was the right decision. Okay, so now let's talk about my ideas for your music label.

Devon: Sure.

Hilary: I'm thinking all of your acts on one bill, one tour, and we market it as an lp event, just like the soul shows from the '60s.

Mariah: Wait, is that even practical?

Hilary: If you want something, you can make it happen. Just like me and this pregnancy.

Tessa: Oh, the one that has maybe happened but we don't know? Sorry. I'm just trying to keep up.

Hilary: I'm sorry. This must be painful for you since you're no longer one of devon's artists, so if you would like to excuse yourself --

Devon: Hilary, hilary.

Hilary: Anyway, I got the idea from motown. They did the exact same thing. The bigger acts were the draw, and the newer artists, they got exposure. And the label became more famous than some of the acts themselves. It's all about branding. And since I know something about that, obviously I would be the best person to guide this project, maybe even host it.

Mariah: Even though you have zero experience in music.

Devon: This is good, though.

Tessa: It is?

Devon: Yeah, I'm getting an idea of where hilary sees herself within the company. What about you guys? Where do you guys see yourselves in the next few years?

Tessa: Me? I mean, it's no secret that i want to, uh, keep playing music. I'm grateful for the job. You know that. But I want to continue finding my voice as a songwriter. Without that, I'm -- I'm lost.

Devon: What about you?

Mariah: I'm good where I am.

Hilary: Meaning you have no goals.

Mariah: I have an entertaining, sometimes annoying job that I enjoy. I get semi-flattering e-mails, i meet new people every day, and i get to make jokes on tv. Who wouldn't be content?

Hilary: Someone with goals.

Tessa: Or maybe that's why mariah is so good at her job. She's actually having fun. It's not about ego or fame or ambition. That's why the audience loves her -- because she's them, not some polished tv personality. Mariah makes everyone like her without even trying, and it's easy to see why.

Noah: I'll bet it is.

Ashley: Isn't it kind of late there?

Dina: What? It's only dinnertime.

Ashley: In genoa city.

Dina: Well, there you have it. I thought it would be a good time to get together for a bite, but both of you are so busy now.

Jack: We're, uh, running late at work.

Dina: Well, I should be very irked, but I'm too busy being proud, so we'll do it next time. And I won't take no for an answer.

Jack: We will be there. Won't we, ash?

Ashley: Of course.

Jack: And traci.

Dina: Uh, who's traci, dear? I-is she a friend of yours?

Traci: [ Voice breaking ] Traci. Your daughter, mother.

Dina: N-n-no, no. I only have one daughter. Ashley. It's very hard to see you. You're so far apart.

Ashley: Is that better?

Dina: Perfect.

[ Chuckles ] John would be so proud of you working side by side, honoring his legacy together in harmony.

Chelsea: Thanks for coming here. I don't need the kids hearing about a thief stealing from me.

Phyllis: And from lauren and from everyone else. You know, I don't think I could be like J.T. I just can't let it go. It's personal. So, uh, I went over everything to see if we missed anything.

Chelsea: Sounds like you found something.

Phyllis: Yeah. You see, the site wasn't dealing with knockoffs. It was selling legit chelsea 2.0 items. You know, complete with "exclusively for fenmore's" labels. We knew from the beginning that stock was going missing from the supply chain, which means it was from someone on the inside, probably someone close to you.

Chelsea: Or someone from fenmore'S.

Phyllis: Well, odds are those items were being stolen in transit from the warehouse to fenmore'S. And the shipping schedule was on your end, not ours. So it has to be a chelsea 2.0 person.

Chelsea: I hadn't thought of it that way.

Phyllis: Yeah, that's what I'm here for.

Chelsea: The thing is, I have so many employees, which just brings us back to square one.

Phyllis: Yeah, it would, but, uh, you know, I have a way to narrow that down.

"The young and the restless"

will continue.

Mariah: Don't mind me.

Noah: Don't you have a party you need to get back to?

Mariah: It's not a party. It's team building. It's very "rah rah." Pretty inspired by hilary's devotion to herself.

Noah: Looked cozy. You, your ex, his ex, my ex.

Mariah: Devon actually called to make sure that you had the night off.

Noah: So you could all meet in secret.

Mariah: No. Nobody wanted to make you uncomfortable. Not devon, not me.

Noah: And tessa?

Mariah: Please don't do this to yourself. Please.

Noah: It's good to know that I'm someone to avoid now.

Tessa: No, noah, that's not it at all.

Billy: I hate seeing what's happening to dina...and you. I don't have the words, traci. There's nothing I can say to try and make it better or less horrible.

Traci: [ Chuckles, sniffles ]

Billy: Is there anything i can do for you at all?

Traci: No, honey.

[ Sniffles ]

Jack: Hey. The call is done.

Ashley: I texted abby. She knows that dina's awake. Are you okay?

Traci: Mother has some good days and some bad days. So do we all.

Ashley: She adores you.

Traci: Oh.

Ashley: She adores you, traci.

Jack: She would hate the idea that she forgot one of her children.

Traci: Well, she doesn't forget ashley. And she doesn't forget you. I know that sometimes she calls you john, and that's just because she thinks that you're still a little boy. But somehow I'm the only one who has been completely erased from her memory.

[ Sniffles ]

[ Sighs ]

Ashley: Honey, who can explain this disease and what it's doing to her mind?

Jack: You know how much you mean to all of us.

Billy: That's the truth.

Jack: You are the heart and soul of this family.

Traci: Don't you talk to me about family! Either one of you! Not when you treat ours like it's disposable! We got our mother back just in time for this, to watch every day while her memory is stolen from her bit by bit. She's losing parts of herself. She's losing parts of us! And is that enough to stop you two, to have you focus on what we have left? Daddy is gone. My sweet colleen is gone.

[ Sobbing ] And you're all I have left! And you don't give a damn!

[ Sighs ] So you just skip the lovely conversation, the reassuring words, and go back to bickering like a couple of children!

[ Sobs ]

Phyllis: Private security consultations. They have huge corporate clients. Excellent credibility.

Chelsea: Now, what can these people do that hasn't already been done?

Phyllis: Well, they conduct lie-detector tests, and they have an entire team -- a former fbi agent, actually.

Chelsea: Hold on. Are you saying I would need to tell my staff they have to take a lie-detector test? These employees are like my family.

Phyllis: Look, chelsea. I know it hurts, the fact that someone would lie to your face and try to take advantage of your trust, but someone is guilty.

Chelsea: Yeah, but what about all the people that are innocent? This would be so insulting to them.

Phyllis: I thought about that, and the solution -- you go first.

Chelsea: Me? You want me to take a lie-detector test?

Phyllis: To prove how important this is that you are on their side and that you just want to get to the bottom of things and that you want them to understand that you would never ask anything of them that you wouldn't ask of yourself. You just -- you answer a few questions and you lead by example.

Chelsea: Please. [ Scoffs ] They would see right through that. I mean, who robs their own company? Meanwhile, I would be humiliating all of my employees. I would be sending them the message that I don't trust them and that they can't trust me. No. No, I mean, it would be different if I knew for certain it was an inside job, and I am not going to alienate my entire crew just because you have a hunch. I really appreciate all of the research you've been doing. I do, but I think we just need to take the hit, learn from this, and move on.

Noah: Just go back to your little double date, all right?

Tessa: Mariah's my friend. That's all it's ever been.

Noah: You were never really serious about us, were you? All that drama. Man, you could cry on cue. Anytime I wanted to pull back or walk away, you'd just cry and promise that we could work things out, but that whole time, you had a backup plan.

Tessa: What happened with mariah was one singular moment, then it was over. You were the one I wanted.

Noah: [ Scoffs ]

Tessa: The one I still want. I mean, if we could just find --

Noah: Did you just --

[ Scoffs ] Are you still trying... wow. Wow.

[ Chuckles ] You are incredible. You know that? You use my grandmother, me, my sister. You steal my grandmother's gun. You know, I know what it is. You're obsessed with us, right? That's it. All this low key, you know, "I'm this poor, naive singer girl with a secret sister and a secret life." Go around, you just take from everyone you meet, but i couldn't see that. I wouldn't listen. So, you know...

[ Scoffs ]

Tessa: That's now how it was.

Noah: Really?! It's not?! Name one thing I've said that isn't true. One. You are a user. Own it. Embrace it, 'cause everyone here knows it now. It's who you are. And as for you and me, we are done. Walk away. Can I get another, please?

Tessa: No. Noah, don't -- don't do this, okay? You want to drink, get a cab and a six-pack and go home. You have a rep to protect here.

Noah: It's my night off, and I'm not listening to you.

Devon: Well, maybe you'll listen to me.

Ashley: I know that mother's alzheimer's is agony for all of us. And I'm sure that what's going on with jack and me is just adding to your burden, and I'm very sorry about that. I'm sure you feel like you have no place you can turn.

Traci: [ Sniffles ] Fix it. You and jack go into a room and you lock the door, and don't you dare come out until you have worked this through. I mean it, ashley.

Ashley: Traci, I wish --

Traci: Don't you tell me this is too hard. Watching our mother disappear --

that is hard. You have fallen out with jack before. This is just another one of those times. You make this right.

Ashley: [ Voice breaking ] Traci, it's not just another one of those times, sweetie. If I could fix it, I would. It's too fresh and it's just too deep.

Traci: [ Sobbing ] Are you telling me that you're not gonna forgive each other? Is that what you're saying?

Ashley: I know this sounds really rude, but could you please do me a favor? Could you please keep an eye on jackie?

Traci: What? You want me to spy on him?

Ashley: No. I want you to protect him.

[ Voice breaking ] I mean, just because he hurt me so deeply doesn't mean I don't care about him. He's always had me there as a sounding board. I don't want him to feel like he's all alone. And maybe the two of you can... turn to each other right now.

Billy: You writing your apology to traci in your head right now?

Jack: It's too late now. Ashley got to her first.

Billy: So this is just a contest for you, jack? You don't actually care about your siblings? That's cynical.

Jack: Oh, believe me, ashley is in there spinning her story, blaming me for everything.

Billy: How do you know that?

Jack: 'Cause I'd have done exactly the same thing if I'd have gotten to traci first.

Billy: Jack, you're an ass. That's just straight up. That's just a sure thing. You always got to get your hits in, right? Trust me, I know, because I'm on the receiving end of them all the time, but I'm used to it. You pull this garbage on traci and ashley, it's her fault? Come on, jack. Grow up. Mr. Big tough master of the universe, you're acting like a punk. Stop pretending that the world is against you, jack. Your sisters, both of them, are hurting right now just as much as you are.

Jack: Damn it, billy. I hate it when you're right.

Nick: Hey, you're back. Kids are fed. Just so you know, connor does not like mashed potatoes anymore, so there's that. Did you finish up with phyllis?

Chelsea: Yeah, she had a couple of ideas, but nothing really clicked. So now it's just you, me, and the kiddos.

[ Doorbell rings ] Oh. Oh, did you order us takeout?

Nick: Um, no.

Chelsea: Oh.

Nick: I mean, it's like dj vu.

Phyllis: Hi.

Nick: Hi.

Phyllis: I know. I'm sorry. I was actually on my way home, and my brain just kept buzzing. I just feel like maybe we didn't dig deep enough.

Chelsea: Um, I think we did.

Phyllis: Maybe I missed something, you know, and I'm willing to admit that I made a mistake. I mean, so if you have any ideas...

Nick: What are we talking about here?

Chelsea: Is that christian?

Nick: What?

Chelsea: Listen for a second. You hear that?

Nick: No, I don't hear anything, but I'll go check.

Chelsea: Look, phyllis, i really appreciate that you're so protective of my brand, but it's getting late. Nick and I, we haven't even eaten yet, so...

Phyllis: I-I know, but both of our companies got ripped off. I just think it's a little bit more important than pizza.

Chelsea: Well, I'm sorry that I'm not getting as worked up over this as you are. It's just that I have two little boys upstairs who really need my attention.

Phyllis: That's fine. You know, look after them. And why don't you let me run with the lie-detector plan? Especially since I had an idea. You tell the staff that fenmore's is demanding the test. You had nothing to do with it. I'll be the bad cop, and you play the good cop by volunteering to go first. I mean, you can't argue with that, can you?

Chelsea: It just feels like we're going in circles a little bit, you know?

Phyllis: But, see, I don't understand why you're not invested in catching this thieving bitch.

Chelsea: Excuse me?

Phyllis: You don't seem to be as angry about this as I am.

Chelsea: If there's something you want to say, why don't you just come out and say it?

Phyllis: Fine. Are you protecting someone?

Chelsea: What?! That's ridiculous.

Phyllis: Well, you said that your employees are like family. Do you feel that your family -- is there someone there that's responsible for this?

Chelsea: The person who did this is not somebody that works for me.

Phyllis: You don't know that.

Chelsea: Yes, I do.

Phyllis: Okay. That's fine. If you think your whole staff is innocent, why are you getting so worked up? Why you so defensive?

Chelsea: I'm getting defensive because you're acting like you know what you're talking about, and clearly you don't have a clue.

Phyllis: Then why don't you lay it out for me, chelsea? Because this is what I know. Whoever stole that merchandise and set up that fake site works at chelsea 2.0. And if it's not one of your employees, then that only leaves one other person.

Devon: Dude, the whole damn restaurant can hear your conversation, man. There's no reason to do this here, or anywhere for that matter, right?

Noah: Look, all those people over there, right, they work for you. I don't, so save your orders, all right?

Devon: I'm not ordering you. I'm being your friend, man. You've had too much to drink.

Noah: Or not enough. See, it's all about perspective, right? Why are you even defending her, huh? I mean, she, uh, she made out with your girlfriend, then she handed you a stolen song, and then you, what, you hire her? What? You know what? I know what this dinner's really about, right? First you're with hilary, then you're with mariah. Is tessa next?

Devon: Noah, no.

Noah: Is that what it is? You can tell me.

Devon: I'm gonna call you a cab.

Noah: Back off.

Devon: Hey.

Mariah: Why don't we just -- why don't we sit down for a second?

Noah: All of you just leave me alone, all right?

Jack: I hear myself talking sometimes, I can't believe it. A knee-jerk self-righteousness. I know you have mentioned it before, but it isn't like i wasn't aware of it, the ego, the pride, the absolute certainty that I'm right even when deep down I know I'm not.

Billy: If you expect me to argue that, it's not gonna happen.

Jack: I don't expect you to pat me on the back and make me feel better, but I didn't start this.

Billy: Jack, you --

Jack: Let me finish. I didn't start this, but I made it a whole hell of a lot worse. I should never have enforced that blood abbott amendment. Hell, I should have never had it written up in the first place without telling you and traci and ashley about it. And what has it gotten me? A deeply wounded and hurt family, and the worst thing is... there's no getting past it.

Billy: Wow. From a monster ego to a pity party in two seconds flat. Of course there's a way past it, jack. You change the rule.

Chelsea: Did you really come to my home to accuse me of stealing from my own company?

Phyllis: Why don't you prove me wrong? Why don't you take the lie-detector test?

Nick: What is the deal?

Phyllis: You want me to explain it to him?

Chelsea: That you're out of your mind? Sure thing.

Nick: Is one of you gonna tell me what's going on?

Chelsea: Phyllis here is accusing me of stealing from my own business. Apparently I am a criminal mastermind.

Nick: Is this a joke?

Phyllis: I simply suggested that everyone take a lie-detector test.

Chelsea: Starting with me, because I'm the perp.

Phyllis: "You want me to go first? Sign me up. Let's go."

Nick: How did we get to a lie-detector test?

Chelsea: Not we. Her. Phyllis' feverish little mind.

Phyllis: Because chelsea doesn't seem to give half a damn when it comes to whoever set up this fake site. I keep trying to get answers, and I'm met with roadblocks and a lot of attitude.

Chelsea: J.T. Let it go, but you -- you apparently know more than the professional? Okay. Sure.

Phyllis: Because I know something that he does not. Sharon told me about the money you found in the bathroom wall. Now, that's awfully funny to me. All that money hanging out at the same time fenmore's gets ripped off?

Chelsea: That money was adam'S. It took nick and me, what, 10 seconds to figure that out. It was money adam was saving as an emergency fund.

Phyllis: Then why didn't he use it when he tried to skip town with you and connor? Did he forget about it? Did he not bother to tell you to grab a few grand? Did he just completely forget that that money was there waiting?

Chelsea: [ Chuckles ] You got me, phyllis. You're right. It's perfect. I am a thief and a liar. Is this -- is this really why you came into my home while i have two little boys up there waiting for bath time? Come on! Make a citizen's arrest! I'm sure you got handcuffs in that purse, along with your sheriff's badge!

Nick: Okay, phyllis, chelsea's right. The boys do not need to hear this, and this isn't solving anything. It's time for you to go.

Phyllis: I'm sorry that i asked questions that make both of you uncomfortable. I will show myself out.

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

Chelsea: [ Sighs ] Can't believe I called phyllis a friend. Turns out I didn't know her at all.

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