Y&R Transcript Thursday 5/28/15
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Episode # 10676 ~ Nikki's world is shaken.
Provided By Suzanne
Angel: Hello, Nikki.
Nikki: [Shudders] All this light. Where am I?
Angel: It can happen sometimes. It can be a little confusing. You want to take a guess?
Well, I am either dreaming or...it's the D.T.'S or I'm dreaming about the D.T.'S.
Angel: What's the last thing you remember?
Nikki: My children. They brought me home to play peacekeeper at a family dinner. We were there to discuss my husband's recent business merger. [Nikki thinking]
Victor: I'm glad you came, sweetheart.
Nikki: You said it was just gonna be the four of us.
Victor: This is a matter that concerns everyone.
Nikki: Oh, I know what this is. And I won't have any part of it.
Victor: You're gonna have to listen to what everyone has to say.
Nikki: Victor, I have heard it a thousand times. The Newmans have to close ranks with the Abbotts to thwart their impending threat, and I am supposed to play the loyal matriarch, ready for battle, and then I guess I'm supposed to support you while you convince summer and Noah to join the company... helped by your new, apparently loyal, lieutenant here. What about you, Nicholas? Don't tell me the prodigal son has decided to return to the fold. You ready to toe the line again, too, huh?
Nick: We're all together on this, Mom.
Nikki: Yeah, well, I'm not doing it. I don't have it in me for a fight like this, so I won't be staying very long. Dylan.
Dylan: I came as soon as I got the call.
Nikki: But you don't have anything to do with the company. What exactly is going on here?
Angel: You're remembering something. What is it?
Nikki: It's personal. I don't want to talk about it.
Angel: The more personal it is, the more important it is we talk about it.
Nikki: Oh, really? Why is that?
Angel: [Breathes deeply]
Nikki: But I'm remembering. It's like a...a dream... a bad dream, and I'm stuck there where everything just seems real, but things are a little bit off... where nothing makes any sense... until it makes too much sense. [Thinking] This has nothing to do with the company. I know what this is. I helped plan the same kind of ambush for Katherine.
Victoria: Mom, we just want you to see what we're seeing.
Nikki: Oh, you're liars. Really, Victor? An intervention? You think that's the answer? Hold me up to our grandchildren as the problem.
Victor: Sweetheart, no one here says that you're the problem. But everyone agrees that there is a problem.
Nikki: I can't believe that you two went along with this. You are so sneaky!
Neil: Nikki, I know this is overwhelming, but we all love you here, and we all think you need some help.
Nikki: Well, this is not help. This is a witch hunt, and I'll have nothing to do with it.
Nick: Mom, you need to stay.
Nikki: I know what I need more than any of you do. Oh, you, too, huh? Well, have a good time.
Jack: Hey, hey. You can't leave yet.
Jack: I just got here.
Victor: What the hell is he doing here?
Neil: Victor, he knows exactly what she's dealing with, and plus, he's a very close friend.
Nikki: I'm not staying! Jack!
Summer: Grandma, please stay, okay? We all love you.
Noah: Grandma, we just want to talk to you and let you know how it feels to see you going through this. Do you think you could give us that much?
Nikki: It was oppressive. I was coming out of my skin. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I felt trapped. [Breathes heavily] You haven't told me yet where I am.
Angel: You're home.
Nikki: Home? [Chuckles] Oh. I'm...home?
Nikki: [Amusingly] O-kay. And, uh, who might you be?
Angel: You can call me angel.
Nikki: [Chuckling] Angel. [Laughing] [Laughing] [Chuckles] Oh. Ohh. I'm sorry.
Angel: No reason to be.
Nikki: It's just, you know, all the light and everything, and this is home, and your name is angel. [Chuckles] That's just a little bit much, don't you think?
Angel: It depends. You haven't finished telling me how you got here. Want to continue?
Nikki: I just wanted it to be over. But at that point, I didn't think that I had a choice. I had to stay. Besides, it was a chance for me to show them that I didn't need their so-called help. I can handle things by myself.
[Nikki thinking] I hope I'm there when you make a mistake or two, and I can rub your noses in it.
Dylan: Nikki, nobody's here to remind you of your mistakes. We're here because we love you. I hope you know that.
Victor: I don't care if Neil invited you. I want you out of here.
Jack: Calm down and think this through. Jack Abbott would be here for his good friend and ex-wife in her hour of need. How suspicious would it be if I wasn't here? Or if I left right now?
Victor: You watch what you say, all right?
Nick: I'm really glad it's you running this and not some stranger. It probably makes it a little less threatening.
Neil: Well, that was the hope when I discussed things with the counselor -- you know, make it a little easier. And she's still here.
Nick: Yeah. Resenting every minute of it.
Neil: We have to tell her how we feel, and what she does with that is out of our control.
Neil: All right, come on. Uh, all right, everybody. We're all gathered here. Why don't we get started? Nikki, if you look around, you're gonna see all these wonderful faces -- people who love you... who are very concerned about you. And so I think everyone in this room has something they want to say to you.
Nikki: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know -- I know how this works, Neil. But I-I would like to say something before this charade continues any further. Okay, yes, I have had a drink or two recently, okay? Privately for exactly this overreaction. I cannot believe how you are blowing that out of proportion. 'Cause I have a lot going on in my life right now! My kids are struggling with relationship issues. And summer and Noah, my God, they're struggling with an unspeakable loss. And I have more tensions in my life. That's no secret, God knows. But I don't think that I need to justify having a respite from it all. It's just to take the edge off. Because in case you haven't noticed it, I have a lot of edge in my life these days. I can stop whenever I want to. I don't have a problem.
Neil: Um, Nikki... okay, look. I understand what you're saying because I have said those same things to myself. I've lied to myself. And, see, you know what? You saw right through those lies, and you were determined to help me, and because I didn't want that help, I had to look at Paul and Christine in the eyes and tell them it was me. I killed that baby. And you see, I'm gonna have to live with that for the rest of my life, and why? All because I wouldn't admit that I had a problem. And what I'm hearing from you is that you don't have a problem, and that scares the hell out of me. I mean, look. Last night in that bar. What was happening? You were in there with some strange man.
Neil: Then I find out that you'd gone back to your hotel room because you invited that guy.
Nikki: What the hell are you talking about, Neil?
Victor: Is that true?
Nikki: I cannot believe that you would bring that up.
Neil: No one's blaming you. Okay? It's the alcohol. We're all blaming the alcohol.
Nikki: Look. This is not -- nothing happened. It's not the way he's making it sound. He's only doing that to justify this.
Neil: I'm sorry that you feel that way, and what's worse is that you don't even remember last night, what happened, because you were in the middle of a blackout.
Nikki: That...is not true.
Neil: All right. If you don't go to treatment right now, I'm not gonna bail you out anymore. You hear me? And when you are somewhere drinking, and you're in trouble, and I'm there... I'm gonna walk away.
Nikki: Oh. Okay. That's fine. In fact, why don't I just save you all the trouble.
Nikki: I'll walk away myself.
Victor: Please stay. Stay. You got to understand that everyone here loves you in spite of everything. You owe them a chance to be heard.
Nikki: Victor. He's the one who's always telling me, "you don't owe anything to anybody." But he's the one to convince me that I owe something to these jackals sitting in my own living room.
Angel: So you stayed and listened.
Nikki: Yeah, I stayed. I-it's all jumbled up right now, but I still feel it.
Angel: Feel what?
Nikki: All of them staring at me. [Breathes heavily] All of them in my face. [Thinking]
Noah: Grandma, whenever there's a crisis, and there's always a crisis in this family, you're the one who gets us through it, and, believe me, I realize how unfair that is, the burden that's put on you.
Summer: You protected me, put yourself in danger for me all when I was willing to believe someone like Ian ward. And it took so much courage, and so will getting treatment, but you have that courage, grandma.
Nick: I remember when you told me you had M.S., And I was so scared because I didn't think you were strong enough to get through it. But of course you were.
Noah: I need your strength, I need your honesty...
Nick: I got to be honest. I'm really scared again.
Noah: ...And that sense of humor that you have that says you've seen it all, that you understand.
Summer: Every day that you don't get help around you.
Dylan: We lost over 30 years.
Nick: Alcohol abuse can be a serious problem. Your central nervous system, your other organs. When you have a neurological disorder like this, when your body's already compromised...
Dylan: I figured I was a grown man, so there wasn't much that we had to offer each other.
Nick: I know I don't have to tell you that alcohol was involved. I already lost a daughter, Mom.
Dylan: You know, I understand that you wanted to give me a better life, and I've told you o over...
Noah: Your unconditional love...
Dylan: ...That I forgive you.
Noah: Help me get through losing the woman that I was gonna marry.
Dylan: But I'm not sure I could forgive you for leaving me now... [Breathes deeply] ...not when you have the choice to stay.
Summer: I want you in my life for a long, long time, Grandma, please.
Victoria: I don't want to lose you.
Nick: I don't want to lose you.
Nikki: They didn't want to lose me. They preferred to judge me, to look down on me.
Angel: You sure that was the intention?
Nikki: Why should I?
Angel: You tell me. Why should you care?
Victoria: I love you, Mom. You've been there for me through my whole life. And I now I want to be there for you. I want you to get help. I promise to be there for you through the whole thing. I will visit I'll support you. And treatment works. If you're not gonna do it for you, do it for us. Do it for Johnny. Do it for Katherine. You almost dropped her. Mom, she was nearly 2 months old, and you couldn't even hold on to your own granddaughter, and if it didn't shake you out of it, then I don't know what's going to.
Nikki: I am so, so sorry about what happened with the baby. I just was so tired that day, and I remember telling everybody I didn't think I should hold the baby.
Victoria: You were drunk. That's how it makes you feel.
Victoria: I'm worried about you. We're all worried. I believed you when you said it was the MS. I believed you. And you lied. You lied about it. You were drinking. Don't you realize you could have hurt her? Don't you see what you're doing, Mom?
Nikki: All right, this is absolute madness. [Voice breaking] Do you really think I'm so would risk my grandchild like that? Why are you judging me like this?
Victoria: No one here is judging you.
Nikki: [Crying] Yes, you are.
Victoria: You faced this before. You're gonna face it again. It's more serious this time, mom, okay? And we're all really worried about you. We're worried about you. And if you get into trouble again, I'm afraid that I won't be able to help you, and I won't, mom. I won't help you. Because of my children. I'm looking out for my own children.
Nikki: There's not gonna be any trouble.
Victoria: [Sighs] I mean it, Mom. Get help. Get help. I will never allow you around children again.
Nikki: [Thinking] Well, I'm very disappointed that you would threaten me that way.
Neil: No one here is trying to threaten you, Nikki.
Nikki: You're a strong woman, Victoria. You can think things through. You're a very bright girl. You can make your own judgments. I love my grandchildren more than anything on this earth. And someday you're gonna look back and you're gonna realize what a mistake this was, that it was wrong. Well... who's next? Let's go. Brought me to a public flogging, let's move this thing along. Who's next?
Jack: Well, I guess it's my turn to talk, then. And in keeping with the spirit of this occasion... I think I need to be completely honest.
Nikki: Honest? Somebody's gonna pick that moment to be honest? [Scoffs] Neil, who's been sober for about 10 minutes, he's gonna dictate to me how to live? And everybody else there, too, who supposedly love me. They're all reading out of the same playbook. "Alcoholism is a disease. It's chronic, it's progressive, it's fatal," and on and on and on. God. I mean, it's like -- it's like they were putting me in my grave. But I'm very much alive.
Jack: We all know that addiction can lead to death. But it's not just the addict whose life ends. When you love an addict, every day a little bit of you dies watching them go further and further out on that ledge. The addict doesn't think about that. The addict doesn't care. They care about one thing -- the next fix, the next pill, the next...drink... the next nail in their own coffin. I know it's a disease. And I know personally this monster that you're battling, but at some point, if you care about someone... you choose them. You choose life. If you don't...
Neil: Jack, Jack, Jack. This isn't about blame and judgment, right? Just tell her -- tell her how you feel.
Jack: What I feel is profound sadness. That it's a terrible waste of a beautiful life... when the drug of choice... wins out over the person you love. [Breathes deeply]
Nikki: It was like they were describing somebody that I've never met.
Angel: And they all were like that? They all spoke and seemed to misunderstand who you really are?
Nikki: Exactly. They all took their shot, piled on. Well... not everyone.
Neil: What about you, Victor? I think it's important for you to say something.
Victor: I a as everyone else. I'm very worried about drinking is going to affect Nicholas pointed out. Sweetheart, this is affecting our entire family. My God. "Family"?
Nikki: That has mantra word. Always at the ready -- family, family, family.
Victor: You bet.
Nikki: In reality, it is just a way to justify whatever the hell you want.
Neil: Nikki, Nikki. Let's not get argumentative.
Nikki: Oh, come on. Everybody in this room has experienced it firsthand.
Victor: You're talking about everything but the real problem.
Nikki: Oh, my God. Don't you get it?! That is the reason why I started drinking again. [Sighs] You knew what Ian ward had done to me and the hell that I was in, but where were you? When I needed you the most, you were not there. You were off trying to find some new way to control your son's life and hurt Jack at the same time. Double whammy! My God! You drove me to drink.
Victor: We are here because of your drinking. You've got to take responsibility. You're out of control.
Nikki: Oh, you want to see out of control? I'll show !!
Neil: Nikki, Nikki!
Nikki: Let go of me!
Neil: Nikki! Relax.
Victor: Sit down and relax. We're here to help you.
Nikki: I am sitting.
Neil: Nikki, Victor. Hold on, okay? Victor, why don't you tell Nikki how her drinking is affecting you?
Victor: There's nothing else I have to say. Nikki knows damn well what she's doing to the rest of the family, what she's doing to us.
Nikki: It appears my husband doesn't have anything more to add.
Nikki: [Sighing] So, is this thing over?
Neil: No. Nikki, no. Wait a minute. It's not over. Okay, Victor, why don't you -- why don't you say what you --
Nikki: I, m my fill of this. And I would like to say how absolutely astounded I am that none of my supposed nearest and dearest know me at all. I did what you asked. I sat here. I listened to you. I listened to you turn me into something that I'm not. And now that's over. That portion of the entertainment is over. I say let's turn this Nikki-bashing into a real bash. Drinks all around.
Nikki: I'm sure Victor replenished the liquor.
Neil: No, you don't have to do th Nikki, please stop.
Nikki: And look. It is as well. Thank you, darling.
Victor: Will you please stop
Nikki: That is so thoughtful of you.
Victor: I don't give a damn always. Please stop this.
Victor: You want your grandchildren to see you like this -- is that it?
Nikki: You're absolutely right. Kids... never do this. Shame on...me. Shame, shame, shame. [Gasping]
Noah: Grandma, are you okay?
Nikki: [Gasping continues]
Victor: Sweetheart. Sweet pea?
Neil: Somebody call 911.
Nikki: I tried to speak, and I couldn't. It was like I couldn't breathe. [Breathing heavily] It -- it felt like I...
Angel: Like what?
Nikki: Like I was dying. I didn't, did I?
Angel: What do you remember next?
Nikki: I don't know. It -- it's all hazy after that. But if I had collapsed, they would have taken me to the hospital, right?
Dylan: [Voice breaking] We all tried. You know, there's nothing more we could do. It's nobody's fault.
Victoria: It's her fault. She had a chance to get help, and she turned it down.
Noah: It's like what Jack said. You know, this thing -- it affects all of us, everybody that loves her.
Nick: It was the disease.
Victoria: You can't say that. You cannot say that. She chose a bottle of vodka. It was her choice.
Summer: [Voice breaking] You can't say that. You don't mean that.
Victoria: You and Noah had all those good years with her. My kids will never know the wonderful, magical, beautiful person that she was. They'll only know this grandmother that drank herself to death. That's all they'll ever know.
Dylan: I know I should be glad for the time we had together, but right now...
Nick: Faith adores her. She deserved more time with her. I got a kid on the way. She's never gonna get to know who her grandmother was.
Nikki: Hey, guys. I-I know I must have given you a terrible scare, but I just fainted. I'm here. I'm here.
Nikki: Nicholas? Victoria, honey?
Dylan: I just feel cheated. And angry. I know it's wrong. I know I should be blaming the disease.
Nikki: I-I said some things that I regret, and I am so sorry. To everybody, I-I just was so stressed. It had been a long day, and I felt under attack.
Summer: [Voice breaking] It all happened so suddenly. One minute we were talking to her, telling her how much we cared about her...
Nikki: Hey, hey. I'm -- I'm right here. Stop it. Stop acting like I'm not here, you guys. What are you doing?
Victor: I think we should all go home now, okay?
Nikki: Victor... I-I-I -- we have to find a solution...
Victor: There's no point putting this off anymore.
Nikki: ...And we will. We always do.
Victor: We all need to know what we have to do now.
Nikki: Why are you doing this?
Victor: Let's go home.
Nikki: Victor. Hey...guys. It's -- it's not too late. Everything is fine. I'm here. I-I'm right here. I-I get your point. Okay, I get it. I will do it. I'll do anything that you want, okay? Just stop ignoring me, all right? Don't -- don't go! I'm right here. Guys! I could not possibly remember that. That cannot be a memory. I mean, what is happening? If they took me to the hospital, which I'm sure they did, why wouldn't they talk to me? And it wasn't like they were ignoring me, but it's like I wasn't even there. And then the -- the body on the gurney. What's happening?
Angel: You have the answer. Keep searching. You'll find it.
Nikki: Well, the only thing that... that would make any sense...
Angel: Is there anything else you remember before arriving here?
Neil: Dearest Nikki... I know you must be in a better place. I'll miss you. I will never forget what you did for me. You saved my life. I'm just so sorry that I couldn't find a way to save yours.
Jack: I keep asking myself over and over if there was something I could have done, something I could have said to stop this from happening, but...it was out of my hands. It was out of all our hands. This has been the hardest thing to accept.
Neil: To accept the things I cannot change. God, dear God, grant me that serenity.
Jack: I will always have the memory of our time together. How much better, how much richer you made my life. I'll never forget you.
Victoria: I don't want to be mad anymore. I just don't know what to do with these feelings. I'm not ready to accept and move on. I don't know if I ever will be.
Dylan: She loved you. She loved all of us. That's what we have to focus on and remember.
Nick: You always said... that I was my father's son. You and I were more alike than we so stubborn, impulsive. So intent on proving to everyone that we didn't need anyone else. We could do everything on our own. You need help. You got to have the strength to admit it...accept it. So I guess it's time to say goodbye.
Victor: My boy. I was asked to say something that could have changed everything. It could have saved your mother's life. But I didn't. I couldn't find the words. And now it's too late. [Sighs]
Nikki: [Crying] I could see it so clearly. We were alone... just the two of us,
Angel: Was he able to hear
Nikki: No. But I didn't let that stop me from trying... watching this man who had become a part of me, of my heart...
Victor: It was just hubris. [Breathes deeply] Pure arrogance. I thought I could I thought I could fix you. My baby. No matter ho that I don't ha to do that, I went ahead anyway.
Nikki: This man who saw something in me when I was a hard-edged girl with nowhere...
Victor: And so I did what I always do...it's the way I want them to be.
Nikki: This man I'd raised children with and loved passionately...
Victor: But I failed. I didn't listen to you. I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear.
Nikki: This brave, powerful by me time and time again...
Victor: If I'd had to tell you how I felt about you... what you've always meant to me... and what you will always mean to me, my sweet darling Nikki... [Sighs] ...Then I wouldn't have lost ... no longer with me. [Shudders and sighs] I'm so damn lonely now. We fought and we argued... but we loved each other. I loved you. [Sighs]
Victor: It's too late for tears now. My baby, I'd convinced myself that all your drinking and moving out and all our fights and all that was just a passing phase, that you were, you know, going through rocky times. I thought our love would conquer all.
Nikki: You weren't wrong to think that, Victor. Think of all the things our love got us through. It's an insidious disease. It turned me into someone I didn't even recognize... someone I didn't want to be.
Victor: I'm gonna miss you so much. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you. You've been by my side through all -- through all the difficult times. We raised our children, grandchildren. I loved you so much.
Nikki: In the end... it had to come from me. [Voice breaking] I needed to take responsibility. I had to do it for myself.
Victor: Maybe you're listening to me now. Can you hear me?
Nikki: I didn't need Victor to say the words to know how much he loved me. We have a connection. Two people, one mind, one heart. But even sharing that, knowing what I stood to lose, I still couldn't quit drinking on my own. But in the end... it was my choice. Victor may have brought me here, but this is where I chose to be, angel. It's where I need to be.
Angel: I agree.
Nikki: So... seeing my grave and hearing my family... that wasn't the D.T.'S or a dream, was it?
Angel: After your intervention, I believe you had what we often call a moment of clarity. You had a vision that allowed you to admit that you needed help.
Nikki: [Voice breaking] Can you help me?
Angel: I think we can. Welcome, Nikki. Welcome home.
Next on "The Young and the Restless"...
Ashley: I'm trying so hard to support you with this dubious merger, but you're not making it easy, Jack, and I'm done.
Stitch: Ashley may have admitted that she had feelings for me.
Kelly: Do you really think it'll be that easy to get rid of me?
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