Y&R Transcript Friday 12/23/11
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Episode # 9806 ~ Nikki's Special Christmas Episode
Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Emma
Nikki: (Sighs) (Groans) Oh, my God. (Sighs) (Slurring speech) Wait, Victoria... I've gotta get there. I've gotta get there. Maybe it's not too late. (Sighs) Okay. Victoria? Billy? Hello? Her bouquet. It's over. I missed it all. I missed it all! (Sighs) (Sobs) What is wrong with me? (Sniffles) (Sobs) God help me. (Sobbing) Oh, God, help me, please. (Sobbing) (Sniffles) (Sobbing) Oh, I-I-I'm sorry, I thought I was alone. (Sniffles)
Woman: Take it. Please.
Nikki: (Sobs) Thank you. (Sniffles) Oh. (Exhales shakily) Uh, do you work here?
Woman: I-I help look after things.
Nikki: (Sniffles) There was a wedding here e-earlier. When--when did everybody leave from that?
Woman: Oh, I just arrived myself.
Nikki: (Sighs) (Clears throat) well, I should go.
Woman: Oh, I wish you wouldn’t. I came to talk to you. There are a lot of people worried about you. I was just talking with Colonel Austin and John Abbott, and they both agreed something needed to be done.
Nikki: Douglas and John? That's not funny.
Woman: It's not meant to be.
Nikki: Who are you?
Woman: I'm your guardian angel.
Nikki: Guardian angel? Oh, man, I must be rip-roaring drunk to be imagining this.
Angel: This is real. You should have more faith.
Nikki: You seem... like a really nice person or spirit or what-- whatever you are, but, um, you ought to just fly away and--and take care of the George Baileys of the world, 'cause I'm a lost cause.
Angel: Ohh. Nobody is a lost cause.
Nikki: Thank you for that, but I really do need to be going.
Angel: (Sighs) You were always so strong, even as a little girl. You've forgotten that.
Nikki: What do you know about my childhood?
Angel: I know you didn't have it easy growing up. Your mother was killed in a car wreck when you were little. Your father was abusive.
Nick Reed: You're my little girl, and you'll always be good enough for me, see, just like I know that I'll always be good enough for you, won't I, Nikki? See?
(Table hits wall)
Nick Reed: Because you love me.
Nikki: Yeah, well, I don't talk about that. I don't even think about that. I haven't in years.
Angel: I understand it's painful, Nikki, but its part of who you are.
Nikki: How do you know my name?
Angel: I've known everything about you since the day you were born.
Nikki: You are right about my childhood. I... I made every wrong choice a kid could make.
Angel: No, you were just trying to find your way.
Nikki: My big sister didn't have any trouble. Casey's a doctor. While she was busy... (Sighs) Getting an education and helping people, what was I doing?
Casey: How many times, Nikki, have I... believed in you? How many times have I given you credit? Had faith in you? (Voice breaking) And how many times have you let me down? I think it's too many times for me to count. I'm not gonna anymore. Unh-unh. No more, Nikk. I've had it. I tell you what, you want to throw your life away? You go right ahead, because I'm through. I'm not gonna try anymore with you. I don't give a damn about you anymore.
Nikki: I felt very cheap tonight, Cash. Cheap, and... (sniffles) I felt like a tramp. I fe--I felt like--like a--
Cash: Stop it! Stop it right now. You're a lady, Nikki. You're a lady. You're not a cheap tramp. You're a beautiful, sensitive lady.
Nikki: Mm-hmm. Yeah, right. That's why I'm dancing at the Bayou, stripping, because I'm such a lady.
Angel: That's where you started. Look at all you have, all you've become.
Nikki: (Chuckles) What I've become. (Laughs) (Voice breaking) I'm what I always was... nothing. Nothing. (Sobbing)
Angel: Every soul, every life has meaning, Nikki.
Nikki: This-- this is all so pointless. I'm a terrible person. What kind of mother misses her own daughter's wedding? Victoria won't want to speak to me again.
Angel: Let's find out. Take my hand. Please. Everything you'll see are moments that could happen tonight, because all the thoughts and feelings are true.
Billy: (Making tickle noises)
Victoria: Can I just tell you how much it meant to have you in my wedding? You made it so special and really good. Come here.
Nikki: Didn't even miss having me at the wedding. I don't blame her.
Nikki: She probably thought that I would show up drunk and create a scene.
Billy: (Grunting) All right, my little ragamuffin, it's now time for you to go upstairs and go to bed.
Billy: But if you're very good and very quiet, you might be able to hear the pitter-patter of little reindeer hoofs on the roof.
Billy: Are you ready? Ready?
Billy: Put someone to bed. There we go. (Humming)
Victoria: Good night! Sweet dreams. Merry Christmas. I'll see you in the morning, okay?
Victoria: "To Mom. Merry Christmas. Love always, Victoria."
Nikki: (Whispering) I have let her down so much. Oh, what she must think of me.
[Victoria and Nikki remembering]
Nikki: Ooh. Ooh, boy, do you smell good after that bath. I'll bet you're a tired little pumpkin, huh? You get in and I'll tuck you in.
Victoria: Can I sleep with my giraffe?
Nikki: Well, I don't see why not.
Victoria: I love him.
Nikki: Well, of course you do. He's a very, very special giraffe. Does he have a name yet? Well, my goodness, what are we gonna do? We can't call him "Mr. Giraffe" all the time. What are you gonna name him?
Nikki: Victor? You want to name him after your daddy? How come?
Victoria: Because he's tall.
Nikki: All right, then, Victor the giraffe it is.
Nikki: I think about those times when she was a little girl so much. I didn't know she remembered that, too.
Billy: Now that little one is out like a light. (Laughs) Did you see those Ugg shoes? She is cute, and she's so ready for Santa. (Kissing Victoria's head) What's wrong?
Victoria: (Sighs) I'm just thinking about my mom.
Billy: Yeah, I know. I know you missed her at the wedding.
Victoria: I mean, obviously, my dad's not gonna be there, but... my mom? I mean, for her not to show up... I'm so afraid for her, Billy.
Angel: Don't ever think your kids don't want you around.
Nikki: It's my daughter's wedding night, and she's upset because of me. (Sobs)
Victoria: Whenever I've gone through anything difficult in my life, my mother has been the one person there with their arms around me, holding me and trying to make me feel safe again, and she's at such a-- such a dark place right now. Billy, I just wish I could help her find her way out. (Breathing heavily) Dear Lord... Dear Lord, I need your help right now. My mother is so lost and so alone. Please, Lord, please help her find her way back again.
Angel: Never underestimate your value in the eyes of your children. You're everything to them.
Nikki: I always wanted them to feel loved. But for each thing I did right, I did something horribly wrong. I've been selfish. (Sniffles) None of my relationships have lasted. My career... (Laughs) I have no career. I'm an alcoholic.
Angel: You're human.
Nikki: You must-- you must be an angel to be so kind to me. I wish I could go back and set a better example for my children. Maybe they wouldn't have had so much turmoil in their lives.
Angel: It seems to me that both of your kids turned out well. Nicholas has had his share of problems, but he knows what counts in the long run, doesn't he?
Nick: I thought you should come over tonight. Okay, I'll see you soon. (Sighs) Okay, where were we? "But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight..."
Faith: "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."
Nick: Nice! That. You know, my mommy used to read this to me when I was little. It just wouldn't be Christmas without it.
Nikki: Nicholas is one of the most devoted parents I know.
Angel: That didn't happen by accident, Nikki.
Nikki: I used to love reading to him. My little guy, and in the blink of an eye, he's a young man.
Nick: Look at you. I honestly can't believe it. Look how big you're getting. You're like this now, and pretty soon, you're gonna want to leave the house like your big brother Noah. But you know what? No matter where you go or what you do with your life, this will always be home, okay?
Nikki: Nicholas, I'll never be over your father. We have two children together. That's a bond that you can't dismiss-- at least, I can’t.
Nick: Mom, I know you're gonna make it through this.
Nikki: You think so, huh?
Nick: You're tough. You always have been tough. Anyway, I'm here now, and maybe I can help. No, I know I can help, Mom.
Nikki: It has been pretty lonely around here for me lately.
Nikki: Suddenly, I'm very, very glad to have my son back home.
Nikki: I shouldn't have ever have sent them to boarding school. I should have kept my children close.
Angel: They needed their mother just as much when they were teenagers. They still do. That never ends.
Nick: That's right.
Sharon: Hi, Faith! Merry Christmas. Mommy missed you so much.
Nikki: It was good of Nicholas to ask her.
Nick: I thought it'd be nice if Faith had both of us here to tuck her in tonight. Plus, you know, we gotta get the fixin's ready for Santa and all his reindeer, so--
Sharon: (Laughs) Well, I can help with that.
Nick: Let's do it. Tell you what, why don't you finish this drawing, coloring for Santa, all right?
Faith: Okay. Okay.
Nick: Good job. Here, want to carry that?
Sharon: Sure. What made you change your mind about inviting me?
Nick: It hit me how sad I would have been if I wasn't near my mom during Christmas, no matter how little I was, and I don't want to do that to Faith.
Sharon: Well, I'm glad you didn’t.
Nick: This is the right thing for our daughter.
Sharon: You sound like your mother.
Angel: That's your influence, Nikki-- exactly the kind of thing you did for your kids again and again.
Nick: I've been thinking about her a lot. I just wish I could make her understand that no matter what she's done or how screwed-up she feels, that I'm here for her, just like she's been there for me a million times.
[Nick and Nikki remembering]
Nick: Mom, you've been so great through all this. I don't know how I would have held together without you.
Nikki: I just wish I could do more.
Nick: It's out of our hands.
Nikki: Listen. They perform miracles with premature babies-- miracles.
Nick: I know. That's what I'm praying for.
Nikki: You keep on praying, because miracles do happen.
Angel: You've always been the glue, Nikki, the one who's kept this family together. What greater gift can a parent give? Some of the best parts of both of your children came from you.
Nick: (Sighs) All right. Hey, Beautiful. It's about bedtime. I'll tell you what, how about we... do a Christmas prayer together? Sound good?
Nick: Okay. (Pats couch cushion)
Sharon: What a wonderful idea.
Nick: All right, ready? Dear heavenly father, I humbly ask you for joy, peace on earth for everyone, on this special evening. My dad's going through a pretty rough time right now, and I know you're gonna look out for him and bring him back to us very, very soon. And please, wherever my mother is tonight, don't let her ever forget that she is not alone.
Nick: Amen. (Kisses Faith)
Angel: Your children aren't the only ones praying for you tonight.
Murphy: There's still no word from Nikki.
Kay: None? She's--she's probably spending her holidays in a bar with strangers, instead of with her family. My God, she must have known that she could have come to me.
Nikki: It's true. I could always go to Katherine for anything. She's helped me more than I can say.
Angel: You've helped her, too, but you don't give yourself credit for that, do you?
Kay: She's been like a rock for me. Oh, she has seen me through some of the-- the worst times of my life.
[Kay and Nikki remembering]
Kay: Oh, God, I wish I didn't have to go to that damn funeral tomorrow.
Nikki: Would you like me to go with you?
Kay: Oh, yes, I'd like that very much.
Kay: I dread that... horrible long ride alone to say your final good-bye.
Nikki: You will not be alone.
Kay: But I am alone, Nikki. Yeah, well, I-I am alone.
Kay: I-I cannot remember ever, ever feeling so alone, and I say to myself, "What--what do I do now? Where do I go?" (Sobbing) What do I do, Nikki?
Nikki: Oh, Katherine.
Kay: (Sobbing) Oh, God, Nikki, help--help me.
Angel: I wish you could see yourself through her eyes, because that woman is a fighter.
Murphy: You're coming up?
Kay: No, no, no... (Stammers) In a minute.
Murphy: Okay. (Exhales slowly)
Kay: We have a situation here... and you and I are going to have to do something about it. I am going to help Nikki. I-I'll never ever really give up on her. That's where I need a favor from you, Lord. Please don't let Nikki ever, ever give up on herself.
Angel: Don't you see that you've brought so much love to the lives of your family and friends? That you're not nothing?
Nikki: (Sighs) Yes, and it's been very moving, but it doesn't erase everything that I've done. There's one person who's not... home on Christmas Eve, and it's because of me.
Angel: Victor. It's time for you to see him.
Victor: (Slides tray on floor)
Nikki: I hate that I've done this to him.
Angel: Pleading guilty was Victor's idea.
Nikki: He has so much commitment, and what does he get in return? He gets to spend Christmas Eve in a cell, thinking about how much he resents me.
[Nikki and Victor remembering]
Nikki: Put--put your arms around me first.
Victor: This is not gonna prove anything, you know.
Nikki: Just put your arms around me.
Victor: Now remember, this was your idea.
Nikki: You dirty stinker!
Victor: I beg your pardon?
Nikki: You can kiss like that, and you've been holding out on me.
Nikki: He's remembering everything that we lost.
Angel: No, Nikki. He's remembering how much he loves you. Through good times and bad, you and Victor have been the one constant in each other's lives. When he gave up on himself after Sabrina died, you're the one who fought hardest for him. You put your pride aside to help pull him back. Do I need to remind you what you did for him?
Nikki: He's not just grieving. He's broken. His soul is broken.
Ashley: Look, I know what it's like to feel that kind of unbearable pain, where you don't think you can take any more. You just want to close your eyes and go to sleep and never wake up. Nikki, you know that I've gone through my own dark times in my life, but I survived. Here I am. Victor will survive, too.
Nikki: I don't think he's gonna make it this time. (Inhales shakily) Go to him. Help him. You may be the only person who can save him.
Nikki: (Sighs) There was no other way.
Angel: But only you would have realized that, and don't think Victor doesn't know it. He's well aware of what you sacrificed for him. He can always count on you to stick by him.
Nikki: Now just because you'll be home doesn't mean you can jump right back to work. The last thing we need is to have your blood pressure skyrocketing.
Victor: (Chuckles) You're always looking out for me, aren't you?
Nikki: Um... I-I should...
Nikki: Have you stand, but if you don't feel well--
Victor: No, I don't want to stand right now. See, I want you to talk to me. You know that you went away and--and went to build a new life for yourself, and then you put it all on hold for me.
Nikki: Victor, that doesn't matter.
Victor: Yeah, but it matters to me.
Nikki: Where else would I have been?
Angel: Exactly. Whatever you need to do for each other, you do. Whatever sacrifices you need to make, you make. It has been your past. It will be your future.
[Victor and Nikki remembering]
Victor: (Sighs) (Sighs) Don't you realize what this is all about? You know, sometimes, when we're in each other's arms, I really feel as if our souls are intertwined, and... you and I have become one.
Nikki: I do, too.
Victor: My beauty.
Nikki: Ohh, Victor.
Nikki: Why can't we stay like this forever?
Victor: Dear Lord, I don't talk to you often enough. I don't turn to you often enough, I know that. (Sighs) But Nikki needs your help. She needs it to survive. She needs to move on, not only for herself, but for her whole family. Please show her that she has the strength and the will to do this on her own.
Nikki: I want to go, please. (Sniffles) Thank you. I couldn't handle watching Victor suffer because of me.
Angel: Then don't let it happen. Believe in yourself, the way we're all praying you will. Why would I have come tonight if yours wasn't a life worth living? You called yourself "Nothing," but you're everything, everything to the people who love you.
Angel: Please tell me you've heard me.
Nikki: I have. I-I have, and I want to believe. I... I just have to ask you-- wh-why did you come to me, and why did you come now, knowing what I've done? I mean, why do you feel that I'm worthy of forgiveness after taking another woman's life?
Angel: Nicole, you're not a murderer.
Nikki: But I have all these dreams, all these memories--
Angel: Put those aside. They aren't the whole story. If only you would have looked into your heart, you would have known what I know, that your conscience is clear.
Nikki: Well, then who killed Diane?
Angel: I can't tell you, but your husband knows the truth.
Angel: It's gonna be all right, I promise you. I can't say any more. I have to go now.
Nikki: Oh, no, don't go.
Angel: But I'm so glad we had this time together.
Nikki: Please, you--you-- you have to stay. I-I have so many questions for you. I don't even know your name.
Angel: You can call me Mom. (Wind whooshing)
Nikki: Mom? (Shrieking) Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? (Sobs) Where are you? (Sobbing) Oh, how could I have not known? (Sobbing) Mom, I need you! I need you. (Sobbing) Oh, God.
Victoria: Mom? (Gasps) Mom! Oh, my gosh, hi!
Kay: Oh, God.
Nikki: Oh, Victoria!
Victoria: You're here.
Nikki: Oh, my God!
Nikki: I-I-I-I made it?
Victoria: Yes, in plenty of time.
Victoria: You think I'm gonna walk down the aisle without you?
Nick: I was wondering if you were gonna show, Mom.
Kay: Oh, Nikki.
Kay: Oh, Darling, I'm so delighted you could be here.
Nikki: I am so happy to see all of you. You have no idea.
Victoria: So happy to see you.
Nikki: Oh, Baby.
Nikki: (Sniffles) I know that your father would love to be here to share in this.
Victoria: Mom, I doubt that Dad would be as happy about me marrying Billy as you are.
Nikki: Listen, he is thinking about you right now. Don't you worry about him, and--and don't worry about me anymore, okay? 'Cause it's gonna be all right, I promise you. I promise.
Nikki: (Sniffles) Ohh.
Victoria: Mom, I love you, and now that you're here...
Nikki: I love you. Listen--
Victoria: We can start…
Nikki: Yes, just--
Nikki: Just give me a minute to--to, uh--
Victoria: Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, no problem. Okay, we'll just--
Nikki: I love you all.
Victoria: Love you.
Nikki: Thank you. (Sniffles)
Kay: Oh, God, Nikki. Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, my baby.
Nikki: I'll see you in there. I love you.
Kay: I love you, too.
Nikki: (Laughs) Oh, my... (Sighs) Oh, my God. (Sighs) (Coughs) (Sniffles) (Sighs) (Sniffles) (Cries) (Chuckles) (Laughs)
Next on "The Young and the Restless"...
Nikki: Now we still need something blue. (Gasps) Oh.
Victoria: (Gasps) Do you think it's an omen?
Chloe: You didn't say anything to him about me having second thoughts or anything, did you?
Daniel: No, no.
Angelo: Where the hell are you?
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