Y&R Transcript Thursday 6/11/09 -- Canada; Friday 6/12/09 -- U.S.A.
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Billy: Oh, what, that's funny? (Chuckles) What, am I here to amuse you? (Laughs) Hey, Chloe. C-come look at this. She's laughing.
Chloe: Yeah, that's what babies do, Bill. So... what do you think? You like?
Billy: Well, I think it's adorable. (Laughs) Oop. How long has she been giggling?
Chloe: Uh, I don't know, last week sometime.
Billy: Well, did you get it on tape?
Chloe: No. I got to witness it live. Sure hope you don't miss her first word, too.
Billy: I don't plan on it.
Chloe: Yeah. Well, I guess that depends on if you're sleeping with somebody else's wife that day, right?
Mac: Sure, Cane, I can close up. No problem. Yeah, just give me 20 minutes, okay?
Mary Jane: I wish I was someone completely different, that's all-- impetuous, impulsive, completely selfish.
Mac: Why not?
Mary Jane: Well, everyone at Jabot is thrilled to work with you, Mr. Vanderwood. And my services are available to you around the clock, day or night, okay? Thank you, and have a wonderful evening.
Mr. Vanderwood: Thank you.
Mary Jane: Yeah.
Jeff: Mary Jane, Jeffrey Bardwell. We met the other night.
Mary Jane: Oh, right. Nice to see you again.
Jeff: Yeah. I-I'm sorry to bother you with this so late, but I understand you're in the P.R. biz, which is perfect, because I've been looking for someone to run my own public relations.
Mary Jane: Mm. And what is it that you do?
Jeff: Uh, little bit of this, little bit of that.
Mary Jane: Mr. Bardwell...
Mary Jane: With all due respect, I don't dabble in "A little of this" or "A little of that." I cater to a more upscale clientele. And frankly, I'm not sure you're an appropriate fit for the services I offer. Have a nice evening.
Mary Jane: Hmm?
Gloria: So what'd you find out?
Jeff: I'm not sure yet. Let's, um, set up camp over here.
Jeff: Uh, scotch neat and the lady will have--
Gloria: Uh, uh, uh, uh. Why don't you make that two ice waters, and, um, could we have a little bread to go with that, please?
Gloria: Honey, we can't afford to keep stalking that woman.
Jeff: Yeah, well, if I'm right about that woman, it won't be long before we can afford just about anything we want.
Jack: What are you doing?
Sharon: Well, this is for batch number one.
Jack: This is war.
Sharon: This is batch number two.
Jack: This--this is war.
Sharon: No! W-wait, Jack. Donít. We need some of it for the movie. It's long.
Jack: Wait, wait, wait. You--you got some stuck here.
Jack: Right here. Got it.
Sharon: Hey, um, your office said that you were working late.
Jack: And--and--I-- we finished earlier than we planned.
Sharon: Oh, okay. Well, uh, you know what? I can leave. I can pick up my things tomorrow.
Jack: You--you don't have to avoid me.
Sharon: Jack, I can't keep making the same mistakes, falling into the same patterns, especially after everything that you've done.
Jack: I would do it all again if you asked me... in a heartbeat. Sharon, if you don't want to leave--
Sharon: You can't keep putting your life...
Jack: If you're not--
Sharon: On hold for me. This is it. This is good-bye, Jack.
Michael: I wish I could do more for Kevin.
Phyllis: Look good like that.
Michael: His therapy's going well, but Jana says he's still having nightmares.
Michael: Yeah, well, you know, he and Daniel have taken up figure skating, and that's helping.
Phyllis: Yeah. I haven't spoken to Daniel. I'm sure it's okay.
Michael: All right, stop it! Stop it. I didn't come here for you to dress me.
Phyllis: Weird, that's weird.
Michael: Are we gonna talk about this, or what?
Phyllis: I don't want to talk about this.
Phyllis: (Whispers) I don't want to talk about it. (Normal voice) A constant knot in my stomach every day, every night. I'm always crying. I don't want to cry about this anymore. I can't give up on this, Michael. It's like I can't let this go. I can't give up on it. I-I-- I have to do whatever it takes to save my marriage. I still have that going on.
Michael: All right, I'll tell you what-- date night can wait. Lauren and I can reschedule.
Phyllis: Oh, no, no, no.
Michael: Lauren can be here in 15 minutes with a bottle of wine, or four.
Phyllis: Or four.
Michael: We can rent videos. I hear Slasher films can be very therapeutic.
Phyllis: Oh, I'm sure.
Michael: (Imitating Slasher film)
Phyllis: I'll take a rain check.
Michael: Are you sure?
Phyllis: Yeah. Hey, you keep your marriage intact. One of us should be happy. If it's not me, it should beó
Chloe: What, no witty comeback?
Billy: I have driven you and Delia away, and right now, Sharon's moving out of Jack's, so how witty could I possibly be?
Chloe: Sharon left Jack?
Billy: (Sighs) Yeah. I really don't know the details. All I know is that Sharon's moving back to the club, and Jack won't even look me in the eye.
Chloe: I know how you feel. It wasn't long ago I was laying in a hospital bed with the Chancellor/Abbott/Winters clan treating me the same way.
Billy: Yeah. They forgave you, though.
Chloe: Yeah, eventually. Then again, I didn't sleep with my sister-in-law the night before my wedding. You think it's tense now? Wait till Sharon has that baby.
Billy: Mac. (Clears throat) Have, uh, you been here all night?
Mac: I didn't realize anyone else was here. Um, what's wrong with Sharon? Is the baby okay?
Chloe: Billy, do you want to break the news, or should I?
Jack: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Give me that. You shouldn't be carrying heavy things.
Sharon: Oh. Still looking out for me, huh?
Jack: I always will. Of course, Nick may have a thing or two to say about that now.
Sharon: Hey, um, you know what I was thinking about before? I was just thinking about the night I moved back in here.
Jack: We were still finding popcorn here days later.
Sharon: And that movie we almost watched...
Jack: So bad.
Sharon: It was so bad, it was just bad.
Jack: It was Hollywood schlock, which I normally like.
Sharon: I-I kind of liked it.
Jack: Please stay.
Jack: I know this sounds selfish. I know this... sounds insensitive. I know I'm supposed to be the bigger guy here. All I see is you walking out that door and my life becoming much emptier. Sharon, I've offered you time and love and distance and a home and no strings attached. Can Nick say that?
Sharon: Jack, uh, Nick is my life. I mean, I-I can't really remember what life was like before him, and... I am gonna miss you.
Michael: You have got a lot of nerve showing up here.
Phyllis: Michael, oh. Oh. Come on, Michael. Please donít. Please don't do that.
Michael: No, no. You--the audacity! How could you even show your face around here after what you've been--?
Nick: Michael, this is none of your business.
Michael: Oh, really? None of my business? You were--
Phyllis: Okay, listen, listen, listen, listen. I-I-I'm okay. Thank you.
Michael: I love you.
Phyllis: I love you.
Nick: How's "Supergirl"?
Phyllis: She's fine. It took her a while to get to sleep. She was waiting for you to come home.
Nick: What did you tell her?
Phyllis: (Sighs) What do I tell her? That Daddy loves his other family more than us?
Nick: Please don't-- don't do this to me.
Phyllis: Okay. Uh, the sitter will be here tomorrow. I'll tell her that you're coming by.
Nick: Okay. Thank you.
Phyllis: You're welcome. What do you want?
Nick: I was thinking that you should be the one to file for divorce. This is my fault. I'm the one who left. I'm sure Michael will be happy to take the case, and just so you know, I'm not gonna fight you on anything. You can have whatever you want in the settlement.
Phyllis: Oh, my God. Years... years... we were together. Years we invested in our lives, our marriage, the magazine, and you come here and, what, 48 hours, you decide to throw words like "Divorce" and "Settlement" in my face?
Nick: I just want to be fair.
Phyllis: (Sighs) I think it's a little too late for that. You know, you don't get to wipe the slate clean. If you want a divorce, you file the papers.
Nick: You may think this is easy for me, but it's not. It's awful. I see how much pain you're in, and I just want to take you in my arms and tell you how sorry I am and that you're not alone.
Phyllis: And why is that? Do I seem weak to you, Nick? 'Cause I know how much weak women really turn you on.
Nick: (Sighs) We have a choice here, all right? We can be stubborn and vindictive, or we can do what's right for our kids-- for Noah and Summer and--
Phyllis: No, no, no. No--no "And." Don't you dare mention Sharon's kid in the same breath as Noah and Summer. For God sake, the local butcher could be that kid's father, okay? I'm not filing squat, by the way, so you can have another shotgun marriage. And you say you're in pain and you feel bad? You should. I'm glad.
(Cell phone rings)
Phyllis: Oh, I wonder who that could be.
Phyllis: (Whispering) Get out of here. Just go.
Phyllis: Hey, baby girl. Look at you. Hey. No, daddy wasn't here. That was just the TV, just the TV. Come here.
Mac: This is clearly between the two of you, so I'm gonna go.
Chloe: Fine, I'll tell her.
Chloe: Sharon and Jack split up.
Mac: Oh, really?
Billy: Yeah. Um, it's been crazy at the house, so I just, uh...
Chloe: Yeah, so I thought I'd bring Delia over and let them spend some time together, 'cause it's important for her to know that no matter what's going on with us, he's still her daddy. You off to the bar? Yeah?
Mac: Just to close up. I'll see you guys later.
Billy: Uh, see you.
Chloe: Give Cane our love. Mm.
Billy: Well, that was evil.
Chloe: (Sighs) Chill out, all right? I wasn't gonna tell her about you and Sharon.
Billy: Hey. Thank you.
Chloe: You know, if you want to stay, I mean, I talk. I mean, I still think you're a jackass, but I can stay up if you want.
Billy: No, that's okay.
Billy: Um, I'll call you tomorrow? Thanks for letting me see the baby.
Chloe: Hey, you know, this is the new Chloe, version 2.0. No more tricks up my sleeve.
Chloe: Like hell I donít.
Sharon: Okay, I'll see you in a minute. I love you, too.
Jack: Nick's on his way here?
Sharon: Um, yeah. He--he's just pulling the car up out front. Um, I'll--I'll wait for him outside.
Jack: No, no, no, no. Don't be ridiculous.
Sharon: Jack, I--
(Car pulling up outside)
Jack: Think your ride's here.
Sharon: Hey. Come on in. How did it go with Phyllis?
Nick: Hey. Don't ask.
Sharon: Nick, what are we doing? A few days ago, this felt right, but now, I don't know.
Nick: Look, I know this isn't the way we envisioned this, but that doesn't mean it's not right. People's feelings are gonna get hurt. That's inevitable. Just don't forget how much I love you and our baby. And it's not gonna be like this for long. We'll take a paternity test. We'll prove this baby's mine. If, for some reason, it's not, then we'll call a lawyer. Look, we're gonna get through this, all right? We'll get through it together.
Sharon: Jack, please.
Jack: I'm not gonna make a scene here. Don't worry. That doesn't serve either of us, does it, Nick?
Sharon: Um, okay. Well, we should go. We should go.
Nick: The car's open. I'll be out in a second.
Nick: Look, Jack--
Jack: You don't have anything to say that I want to hear right now. Nicholas...
Jack: Take care of her.
Jack: I need to see you.
Phyllis: That's good, right?
Summer: (Giggles) Yes, it is.
Phyllis: Yeah. Good. At least I do that well, 'cause I don't do a good Dumbledore, do I?
Phyllis: Daddy does it better, doesn't he?
Phyllis: Mm-hmm. I know. I know. All right. Hey, listen, I want to tell you something. Come here. Ooh! Come here. So you know last week when you got this owie? Remember that?
Phyllis: Yeah? Well, remember how I kissed it...
Phyllis: And it was better?
Phyllis: Yeah. Well... mommy and daddy... kind of-- we kind of have an owie, you know?
Phyllis: Well, it's sort of like that owie, you know?
Phyllis: And, um, but I can't kiss it and make it feel better. And, um, so, uh, Daddy is gonna live somewhere else, okay? But it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine because he's gonna see you all the time and take you for ice cream.
Summer: Okay. Okay.
Phyllis: And buy you toys.
Summer: Mm-hmm. Okay.
Phyllis: And he loves you so much.
Phyllis: Your daddy loves you a lot.
Phyllis: So you want to keep on coloring?
Phyllis: Yeah. Let's not go to sleep yet.
Noah: I'll meet you back here in a few, okay?
Eden: All right.
Eden: You got it.
Lauren: Oh, hey, Noah.
Lauren: Bye, Noah. He was in a hurry. Is everything all right?
Eden: Yeah. He has to meet his mom at the club, which is weird, because she's supposed to be living at Jackís.
Lauren: Hmm. Did Sharon say what she wanted to talk to Noah about?
Eden: No. It sounded serious. Shocker. She's more of a drama queen than I am. And it's not just his klepto mom now. His dad and his stepparents are just as bad.
Lauren: Listen, Noah has had to deal with a lot of upheaval lately.
Eden: I just hope whatever his mom wants doesn't screw anything else up. I mean, especially now that she and Jack are having a baby.
Mary Jane: It took you long enough. Mm.
Mac: (Sighs) (Whispering) Oh, jeez.
Billy: Okay. Okay.
Billy: You're gonna hurt yourself.
Mac: Hi, Billy.
Billy: Look, I-I-I just want to call a time-out.
Billy: My house is a war zone. Ashley has pretty much cut herself off from the rest of the world, and who knows where I stand with Chloe? I--just--just one night, I want to put all relationship talk on the side and you and I, we can talk about something-- the weather, anything, anything.
Mac: That sounds like the best idea I've heard all night. So what can I get you?
Billy: A soda will be fine.
Mac: That's a change of pace. That's something the "Old Billy" would order.
Billy: Well, call me the old Billy. Or I'm--I'm the new Billy. I-I don'tó
Mac: Whoever you are, one soda coming right up.
Chloe: Hmm. Boring. Boring. Boring. Boring. Oh, yeah. Way to spice it up. Huh. What? Aha.
Chloe: That's right. Prom queen. Really? What is this? Ooh, "Memories." That's what I'm talking about. Come on. Something. "September 17, 2000. I worked at a soup kitchen this morning." Blah, blah, blah, blah. Seventh... "September 27, 2000. Met Billy at Crimson Lights tonight." (Clicks tongue) Now we're getting somewhere.
Jeff: We have cause to celebrate.
Jeff: Guess who's tongue I just saw down Mary Jane Bensonís throat?
Jeff: Hint-- it rhymes with "Black rabbit."
Gloria: (Laughs) Well, my goodness. How many men is that woman sleeping with?
Jeff: Well, I think the better question is, how much is she charging?
Gloria: Oh, stop it. You don't mean that for a minute.
Jeff: No, no, no, no. Earlier, when I asked her about hiring her, she said she only caters to a high-class clientele, and I heard her telling a client that she was available 24/7.
Jeff: Mary Jane Benson is nothing more than a high-class hooker.
Mary Jane: Why don't you spend the night?
Jack: I canít. I-I-I got some business I have to deal with.
Mary Jane: Uh, at this hour? Uh, is there a midnight board meeting I don't know about?
Jack: (Sighs) Something like that.
Mary Jane: (Breathing heavily) Suit yourself.
Jack: Look, uh, I'll see you back at the office?
Mary Jane: Don't work too hard.
Mary Jane: (Sighs)
Mary Jane: (Sighs) (Southern accent) Hi, this is Cathy from "Restless Style." We have a photo shoot scheduled in your garden tomorrow morning. We're very sorry, but we're gonna go another way creatively, and we're gonna have to cancel. Thank you so much for understanding. Bye-bye. (Chuckles) (Clears throat) Hi, this is Cathy from the Mountainview Inn. Your magazine scheduled a, uh, photo shoot tomorrow, but unfortunately, somebody double-booked the garden, and we're not gonna be able to accommodate you. Uh, we apologize for this inconvenience. So sorry. Bye-bye. (Laughs)
(Knock on door)
Sharon: Hi, Sweetheart.
Noah: Hey, Mom. Why aren't you at Jack's?
Nick: Hey, bud.
Noah: Whoa. What's going on?
Sharon: Your dad and I have decided to try a reconciliation.
Noah: Since when? I mean, what about Jack and the baby?
Nick: We're gonna raise it together.
Noah: But you're not even the father.
Sharon: Uh, well, uh, we don't know that for sure.
Noah: You're joking, right?
Nick: Look, I know this comes as a shock.
Sharon: And you're probably, mm, confused.
Noah: No, not really. You cheated on Jack. Dad cheated on Phyllis. Nobody can make up their minds who they want to be with.
Sharon: Well, it's not that simple, Noah. I--
Noah: You two are unreal. Is life that boring for you, you have to keep doing this-- hopping from house to house, one bed to the next?
Nick: Whoa, whoa. You watch your mouth, son.
Sharon: Nick, please. Let's--
Noah: Fine. I'm out of here.
Nick: No, no, no. No. Noah, don't go anywhere.
Sharon: Hey, nobody is leaving this room until we talk about this as a family.
Sharon: Okay. We haven't been the best role models for the past few months.
Sharon: We--we know that. But this is truly what we want, and it's permanent this time. We fully intend on earning your trust back.
Nick: But you're gonna have to meet us halfway.
Noah: (Scoffs) Man, I remember when I was a kid, I wanted you two back together so badly. That's all I ever wanted.
Sharon: But... you don't want to believe it. I know. I-I couldn't believe it myself, but this is real.
Noah: So I guess that means you're getting married again?
Noah: That's what I thought. Look, do what you want. Just don't expect me to throw you any high fives. I'm going to Grandpa's.
Sharon: Wait, Noah. Noah, hold on a minute. Ió
Nick: (Sighs) I know I shouldn't have lost my temper like that, but he's a kid. He cannot speak to us that way.
Sharon: (Sighs) Okay, well, what did we expect? I mean, we knew what our decision was gonna do to Jack and Phyllis, but now Michael's not talking to you, and Noah's upset with us. I--how many more people are gonna be upset with us, and how much more of this can we take?
Chloe: "Christmas Eve, 2001. B. and I at Jack and Phyllis' wedding. So romantic."
Billy's voice: Can't you see our wedding? The biggest party imaginable, then taking off around the world on a 6-month-long honeymoon?
Mac's voice: And then what? We globe-trot the rest of our lives?
Billy's voice: I thought we could settle down here in Genoa City.
Mac's voice: (Laughs) Let me guess-- in your dad's pool house?
Billy's voice: I would never make my wife live in a pool house. We'll buy our own place. Picket fence, 2.5 kids.
Mac's voice: (Laughs) You really want all that?
Billy's voice: I didn't think I did... until I met you.
Mac: (Speaks indistinctly)
Billy: Ooh. You are just bound and determined to get that right, aren't you?
Mac: Well, now it's personal.
Billy: Oh, you're right. I've always heard that working in refugee camps is nothing compared to entertaining bar townies.
Mac: Well, who says I can't do both?
Billy: Fair enough. I've just never seen anybody be so serious at having fun.
Mac: Well, I've been a little too serious the past few years, and maybe I want to have fun or be impulsive.
Billy: Well, you said "Yes" to Raul when he asked you to marry him. That was impulsive, right? Uh, I'm sorry. Rewind. I-I-I-I didn't say that.
Mac: Do you remember that karaoke CD we made at the carnival in high school?
Billy: (Laughs) "A smile like this."
Mac: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. So I was listening to that a while back, and I couldn't get over myself. 17 years old and completely petrified to sing too loud or off-key. And I've been thinking about it a lot, and I realized all I want to do is sing as loud and obnoxious and off-key as possible.
Billy: Okay. Come here.
Billy: I'm gonna teach you how to do that bar trick. (Clears throat) Okay.
Billy: Remember, be a little loud, off-key, impulsive.
Mac: You're right. Um, this is a stupid bartender's trick, and I should-- I should be closing up anyway.
Mac: What about you? What would you do differently if you could go back?
Billy: Honestly, I'd hold on to my dreams. No, I'd--I'd-- see, back then, I knew exactly what I wanted out of life. I knew who I wanted to be, but I didn't hold on to that. I guess, uh, it's just too easy to let go when the thing you dream the most is ripped from you, so why try again, right? Anyway, on that promise-breaking note, I, um, I'd better go. Good night. ("A smile like this" playing)
Billy: (Laughs) Whoa. All right, you--you saw me. I didn't go near that jukebox, I swear.
Mac: I guess the universe is trying to tell me something.
Billy: What, that this is your chance?
Mac: My chance to do what?
Billy: I don't know, sing?
Billy's voice: It's you, Mac. It's always been you. It's always gonna be you. I know what everybody says-- you never end up with the person you're with in high school. But watching you at Jack's wedding tonight, I can't imagine I'll ever be happier with anybody else than I am with I'm with you.
Chloe: Coming, baby.
Chloe: Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Eden: So your parents are living at a hotel now? This is a whole new level of crazy.
Noah: Which is why I'm getting as far away from them as possible.
Eden: You're already staying at Victorís. How much further away can you get?
Noah: (Sighs) Look, I've made up my mind. I'm filing for emancipation.
Noah: Look, you know Adamís lawyer friend Rafe? He'll do this for me. I'll--I'll sell my car and use the money to get my own place. Hey, think about it. You know, we won't have to deal with my parents or tiptoeing around Ashley. We'll be able to hang out whenever we want, and--and Abby won't give you grief. All I have to do is sign a piece of paper. Then we can have a normal life.
Nick: Hey, look at this one out by the lake.
Sharon: (Gasps) Ooh.
Nick: That would be pretty sweet.
Sharon: Wow. You're not wasting any time, are you?
Nick: I don't want to wait any longer.
Nick: What is it?
Sharon: This. I, um, I never put this up at Jack's house because it just didn't seem right.
Nick: (Sighs) That'll be the first thing we hang in our new home.
Nick: What's wrong?
Sharon: Give me your hand, quick.
Nick: (Laughs) Hey.
Nick: I think he or she approves of the new house.
Sharon: (Giggles) I think she does. Mm.
Nick: We're gonna have our lives back together again. I promise.
Nick: Hey, there she is.
Phyllis: Okay, you can put it on one more time.
Phyllis: Oh, my goodness! Darling, I love your hairdo! It's gorgeous. Who cut it? Who cut it, Summer?
(Knock on door)
Phyllis: Oh, my gosh. No one? Hang on, baby girl. Hey.
Mary Jane: Hi. I am so sorry. Uh, oh, Summer's still up.
Phyllis: Yeah. Yeah. It was a-a rough day. What--what--what's going on?
Mary Jane: You know, I just got a call from Mountainview, and they canceled the photo shoot for tomorrow.
Mary Jane: Uh, they booked a wedding. And then I called them back, and they insisted we were the ones who canceled.
Phyllis: Oh, no, no, no, no. Somebody got their wires crossed.
Mary Jane: But I told them that, and they wouldn't listen to me.
Phyllis: Oh, my gosh. Are you kidding me?
Mary Jane: No.
Phyllis: I have to go to the office and fix this. I-I can't bring Summer there this late. I-I'm not calling Nick. There's no way I'm calling Nick.
Mary Jane: Uh, you know, I-I could watch her. Oh, you know what? That's--that's too strange. I would never let my daughter be with some--a stranger anyway, so no.
Phyllis: No, no, no. I just--
Mary Jane: No, we can do this tomorrow or--
Phyllis: Uh, uh, you know what? You're not a stranger. You're a friend. Come in here. Come in. Come on. I'll take care of this, all right?
Mary Jane: You all right?
Phyllis: I gotta go. Hey, Sweetie, I'm going to the office really quick...
Phyllis: But I'm gonna leave you with my friend Mary Jane. I love you. I love you. I love you. (Making kissing sounds) All right. Thank you so much. You're a doll. Thank you.
Mary Jane: Oh, no. No problem. No problem.
Mary Jane: Are you playing dress-up, Summer?
Mary Jane: Yeah? Isn't it fun to pretend that you're someone else?
Mary Jane: Yep. Would you like to pretend that we're different people together?
(Knock on door)
Mary Jane: Yeah! Oh, I think maybe your mommy forgot something. I'll be right back. (Gasps)
Jack: Mary Jane, what are you doing here?
Next on "The Young and the Restless"...
Raul: Mac, you in there?
Mac: It's Raul.
Jack: This isn't my first romantic disaster. Maybe my biggest was when I drove a perfectly innocent woman to attempted murder.
Mary Jane: What about Jack and me? What will happen after all this is done?
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