Y&R Transcript Friday 12/14/07

Y&R Transcript Friday 12/14/07 -- Canada; Monday 12/17/07 -- U.S.A.

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Jack: Good morning. Any morning you're here and I get to see you is a good morning.

Sharon: Noah wants to go and get a tree since you didn't find one yesterday.

Jack: Well, we can all do that after work.

Sharon: Uh, no, I'm not going.

Jack: You wanna go with Noah yourself?

Sharon: He doesn't want me to go. He wants to show you his special chopping skills, and he doesn't want his mother there taking pictures of him.

Jack: I can get all the Christmas decorations down from the attic. Unless you wanna use the ones that you brought over.

Sharon: Whatever.

Noah: Hey, Mom, Jack!

Jack: Hey, Champ, what's up?

Noah: I was checking out the resort online in France. And you--you said we could go. I mean, that's what you said last night. And guess what? They have snowboarding! How cool is that?

Sharon: That is cool.

Noah: Oh, man, I hate that look. We're not going, are we?

Jack: The snowboarding does sound awesome.

Sharon: But it's just... maybe not a good idea with everything that's going on right now.

Noah: Because I don't have a spleen?

Sharon: No, Honey, that's not what we're talking about.

Noah: Well, good. 'Cause it only hurts when I have to clean my room.

Jack: No, the everything your mom is talking about is me.

Noah: The stuff about the senate.

Jack: Yeah, I still got a lot of things to sort out and I can't really think about a trip just yet. Your mom and I will work on it, but we can't make any promises, okay?

Noah: Okay. I'm gonna go take Fisher for a walk. Stupid grown-up problems. They always mess everything up.

Michael: When was the last time I saw you? It must've been, uh, what, "Comeuppance day."

Phyllis: Is that a new holiday, Michael?

Michael: Oh, it is around my house, because it's the day Senator--oh, excuse me, ex-Senator Abbott was served a great pile of vengeance.

Phyllis: I know you're enjoying yourself.

Michael: Yes!

Phyllis: I know you are, but he's my friend.

Michael: And I'm your best friend. And you can't deny me a little old fashioned gloating.

Phyllis: Uh, did you get all your shopping done?

Michael: Uh, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, there is one elusive item I still haven't found. It's a--it's a Jack-in-the-box. One that actually pops up and says, "I'm guilty."

Phyllis: All right.

Michael: Hey, hey, hey, okay, okay, I'll keep the joking to a minimum.

Phyllis: You should actually keep it to yourself, 'cause it's not funny.

Michael: Fine, fine, fine. You know what he put my family through. It's about time he got what he deserves.

Phyllis: Listen, nobody deserves to have their dirty laundry thrown in front of the ethics committee.

Michael: Well, he shouldn't have left such a trail of unmentionables. And I'm talking about his deeds, not his undergarments.

Phyllis: There is something Jack did to, uh, lead you to find out about that letter?

Michael: Oh, no, no, no, no. That came courtesy of a little elf named Jana.

Jana: I was thinking about making some wooden blocks for your nephew.

Kevin: I wouldn't start any big projects. You're not gonna be in here very much longer.

Jana: The trial is a couple months away.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, and the weeks are gonna fly right by.

Jana: That's what scares me.

Kevin: Why?

Jana: Because it's time to face reality. There's going to be a real verdict, not a fantasy one where I'm innocent and we ride off into the sunset on our matching hogs. I could be facing life in prison.

Kevin: Look, the free Jana web site is getting tons of hits every day. You've got a lot of supporters.

Jana: You're just as nervous as I am. Admit it.

Kevin: I am not.

Jana: You pace when you're nervous.

Kevin: You wanna make a deal? We can talk about possible future outcomes, as long as we keep a positive attitude, okay?

Aiden: I'm Aiden Pine. I've been assigned to your case.

Kevin: Uh, dude, no offense, but, um... how long have you been practicing law?

Aiden: Uh, officially, I got my bar results back about a month ago, but I've been out of law school for six months.

Kevin: You haven't even been a lawyer for a month?

Jana: So I'm assuming you haven't tried any murder cases in the last few weeks, have you?

Aiden: This'll be my first.

Kevin: Great.

Victor: J.T.? Come in.

J.T.: Thank you. How's Victoria?

Victor: As well as can be expected under the circumstances. Have you seen the baby?

J.T.: Yeah, I just came from the hospital. He's stable.

Victor: Uh-huh. Is he still on the lung machine?

J.T.: Yeah, unfortunately, but, uh... anyway, I brought some-- some pictures of him by for Victoria.

Victor: Why don't you go on up and try to talk to her.

J.T.: Thank you.

Victor: Before you go, J.T., um, kindly come back to me. I wanna talk to you about the baby.

Brad: Hey, little man. We're not gonna have to wait too much longer for confirmation of what I already know. You're my son.

Phyllis: That's fine.

Michael: Thank you.

Phyllis: Look at me. How do you know that letter is for real?

Michael: Because it's the one thing in this whole mess that makes any sense.

Phyllis: That's your argument? I thought you said you had undeniable proof.

Michael: All right, here are the facts-- John loved Gloria, he married her twice--twice. If that is not proof of a man's devotion, I don't know what is. And there was only one person surprised when that new will was read out after John's death and that was Jack. He just sat there smirking. And you know why? Because he knew what it said.

Phyllis: If--

Michael: Objection!

Phyllis: If--

Michael: Objection! Brilliant lawyer has not said, "I rest my case."

Phyllis: Whoa, whoa, whoa, overruled. Overruled.

Michael: There is not one time in that whole will--

Phyllis: Don't be so dramatic! We're having breakfast here.

Michael: There's not one time in that whole will that they ever mention Gloria's name. Not once. Now come on, come on, if you were writing a will and your husband has done something so horrible that you have decided to cut him out of it, wouldn't you at least make the effort to let the world know why he deserved that kind of treatment?

Phyllis: I don't know. I guess. I guess I would. I don't know.

Michael: You know what convinced me?

Phyllis: Well, you're gonna tell me. Yeah, you are.

Michael: Seeing Jack in that hearing room. He was just so consumed with rage, trying to assassinate Gloria's personality and her-- you know what? He just sat there, but he didn't deny doing it. And you know why? He didn't wanna complicate his problems by lying under oath. So he just kept quiet.

Phyllis: Okay, okay, you made your point. I get it.

Michael: See, even you believe it.

Phyllis: I did not say that.

Michael: But you asked him about the letter, didn't you?

Phyllis: What? Well, I'm not discussing my personal private conversations with you. And by the way, that would be hearsay.

Michael: Oh, God. I have got to stop teaching you legal terms. Now listen to me, quid pro quo. I answered your questions, you answer mine.

Phyllis: Quid pro no.

Michael: Come on. I can read you like a cheap dime store pulp novel. You asked him right out, didn't you? You asked him about the letter. Ha.

Phyllis: Would you please drop it?

Michael: Oh, yeah, fine. He is an amoral, thieving, lying--

Phyllis: I can use some of those adjectives to describe you to some people.

Michael: He is a smart, amoral, thieving liar. Let me see, did--did it go kinda like this-- you asked and he just tap danced around the answer like some amateur in one of those reality shows, right? And I'm guessing that he had an 11 out of a score of 1 to 10 for not telling you the answer. Ah! Oh, I'm taking that as a yes! Oh, he deserves every vile thing that's about to happen to him.

Jack: I finally found my work gloves. I gotta clean out that closet.

Sharon: Too many skeletons in there?

Jack: Look, I did a lot of things I'm not terribly proud of, but all of that was before we were married.

Sharon: That doesn't make it okay.

Jack: I'm not saying that. What I am saying is you have made a difference in my life. You've made me a better person.

Sharon: If the last few months have been an example of you being a better person, then I don't know that I want the credit for that.

Jack: What can I do to make this up to you?

Sharon: I don't know. But I know that staying here is just a constant reminder of everything that has happened.

Jack: Then maybe we should take this vacation, you know, get away from all the negativity, focus on our family. That's what's important, right?

Sharon: You know what, Jack? You have been an amazing stepfather to Noah. There's not question about that. And it's a lot of the reason why I stayed. But I just cannot keep getting blindsided like this.

Jack: Nothing else is going to happen.

Sharon: But how many times have you said that in the past, and then, whoops! Another lie! Again and again and again!

Jack: Sharon, listen to me--

Sharon: Don't you think-- don't you think that I-- that I wanna go back to the fun times? To the scavenger hunts and the late night dips in the pool? Don't you think I wanna go back to that? But I can't. That has been replaced by press conferences and news articles and lies.

Jack: This trip could be a whole new beginning for us.

Sharon: I don't think so. Because I don't trust you, Jack. And I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to again.

Aiden: Well, Ms. Hawkins--

Kevin: It's Hawkes.

Aiden: Right. Um, I-I think that's all I need from you today.

Jana: You think?

Kevin: You haven't even finished going over the case.

Aiden: This was a meet and greet. We've got time to go over everything later. I'll make another appointment. Soon.

Jana: He doesn't even know my name! God, I'm bloody screwed, Kevin!

Kevin: He's overworked?

Jana: I've got Doogie Howser as my lawyer! That's it, isn't it? I'm gonna spend the rest of my life in this prison. No, actually, they'll probably send me to another prison where I'll work on a chain gang.

Kevin: All right, first of all, Doogie Howser was a doctor. And second, I don't think they have chain gangs anymore.

Jana: Did you see how long that meeting lasted? I could've baked a cake with a file inside in that time! You know, that would probably be a better plan than that public defender.

Kevin: Listen, listen, you're not getting convicted, okay? I will hire you a new lawyer if I have to. I've spent too many nights away from you. I'm gonna make sure you get out of here. I will.

Jana: Okay.

J.T.: I left the photo album by her bed. So the first she sees when she wakes up will be a picture of her son.

Victor: J.T., please sit down.

J.T.: Thank you.

Victor: All right.

J.T.: That mattress up there is pretty comfortable.

Victor: Yeah?

J.T.: I almost fell asleep when I was sitting next to her.

Victor: Yep.

J.T.: We don't have anything fancy like that at the loft, but, uh, she never seemed to complain.

Victor: Yeah. I tell you, I wake up every morning agonizing over my daughter's health.

J.T.: I really hate seeing her like this. It, uh... it never gets any easier.

Victor: No. It's so tough seeing her unresponsive when she has so much to look forward to.

J.T.: Even in this condition, I-I'd like to see her as much as possible.

Victor: You don't need an invitation, all right, J.T.? It was evident from the beginning that my daughter had an enormous affection for you.

J.T.: I appreciate that.

Victor: Yep. I hope soon they will come back with the paternity test results and it'll turn out that you are my grandson's father.

J.T.: Well, if that were the case, you would've heard me from across town. Believe me.

Victor: Yeah. I just hope it won't be Brad Carlton. That would be disastrous.

J.T.: I take it you don't think Brad Carlton would be a good father.

Victor: No. He's not good enough.

J.T.: Yeah, he's definitely the kind of guy who looks out for himself.

Victor: You bet.

J.T.: And we've both seen what he's capable of.

Victor: Well, let me put it this way, J.T. I'll be very, very upset and depressed if it turns out that Brad Carlton is my grandson's father. I don't trust the man and I don't like him. Never have.

Brad: Hey.

Sharon: Hey.

Brad: Photo shoot?

Sharon: Mnh-mnh.

Brad: Meeting?

Sharon: No, not today.

Brad: So you're just hanging out in the break room, hoping I'd show up?

Sharon: Ha ha ha.

Brad: Well, a guy can hope, can't he?

Sharon: Actually, I, um, I just dropped Noah off at one of his friend's houses, and... I got in the car and sat in the driveway for awhile. I didn't know what to do or where I wanted to go, so I just closed my eyes and I ended up here.

Brad: You drove all the way here with your eyes closed?

Sharon: Well, you know, it was one of those trance-like driving experiences, you know? Like, how did I get here?

Brad: Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't suppose you were avoiding a certain address on Glenwood, were you?

Sharon: Um, that's the one.

Brad: The news reporters still camped out on your doorstep?

Sharon: Well, no, they've-- they've moved on, but, um, give my husband a minute and he'll get into some more trouble.

Brad: Well, you know, if he does, you should consider hiring a valet service. Make a little cash.

Sharon: You know, it would be easy for you to say, "I told you so."

Brad: I'm just sorry you're going through this. How's Noah handling it?

Sharon: Well, we just, um, we told him the basics. You know, we didn't feel the need to go completely into it. Although, he picks up on a lot, which makes things worse.

Brad: Yeah, he's a smart kid.

Sharon: You know, I think... maybe I put too much faith in Jack. I-I was looking for someone with a big "S" on their chest, you know, for captain stability, and... you know, I think that guy only exists in my imagination.

Brad: So what do you think you're going to do?

Sharon: Well, whatever decision I make, it has to be about Noah. Because he's what matters most in all of this.

Jack: Cup of coffee.

(Sighs)

Michael: (Coughs)

Phyllis: What? I'm going to go say hello to my friend, unless that's fraternizing with the enemy.

Michael: It's more like a lapse of judgment, but many people have accused me of the same thing for being friends with you.

Phyllis: Oh, you're so funny.

Michael: I am very funny, funny, funny.

Phyllis: Just cream and sugar? Nothing stronger?

Jack: Well, I was gonna charter a booze cruise for one, but I figured the lake could be frozen over. This is my warmer alternative.

Phyllis: Home life stressing you out?

Jack: I think I've gone beyond stress. My body literally aches from worry.

Phyllis: That bad?

Jack: I suppose it could be worse. My wife slept in my house last night. She was there when I woke up this morning.

Phyllis: Good. That's a good start. Good.

Jack: Feels a bit more like a finish than a start.

Phyllis: Well, I mean, has she--has she filled out her change of address form?

Jack: Not yet.

Phyllis: No?

Jack: And she hasn't talked to Noah about alternative living ideas.

Phyllis: Well, unless she's packing up her commemorative plate collection, it's all good. You're good.

Jack: Oh, believe me, I'm holding onto any hope. As long as it means I can save my marriage.

Brad: All right, well, tell him I'll get back to him first thing in the morning. All right, thanks. So I went to the hospital.

Sharon: Oh, how's the baby?

Brad: He's, uh, he's doing just fine. But you know, every time I look at him, it's hard for me to get used to seeing my son like that.

Sharon: You did the paternity test?

Brad: We did.

Sharon: And you're the father?!

Brad: Not officially.

Sharon: Oh. You still don't know?

Brad: Sharon, he's my son. I'm telling you, he's my son. I mean, every time I-I look at him and I talk to him, I feel this connection. I've never wanted anything so badly in my life. That little guy is just perfect.

Sharon: Well, I'm glad that Victor finally agreed to do the paternity test.

Brad: Well, after days of badgering. I don't know if you're aware of it, but, uh, that guy's a little bit of a control freak.

Sharon: Yeah, I think I heard that somewhere.

Brad: Well, I experienced it first hand over the years. And you know what? It still surprises me-- how low he'll go.

Sharon: He's very protective when it comes to his family.

Brad: Well, so am I. And when the paternity test comes back and I am given guardianship, Victor's going to wish that he had shown me a little more respect.

Sharon: Well, you can't just cut him out of his grandson's life completely.

Brad: Why can't I? He shut me out. He made me stand around while the baby was in danger. I had no say with regard to treatment. I think it's appropriate that Victor finds out what that feels like. I'm not gonna let him anywhere near my son.

Sharon: You're gonna start a war with him. And he's gonna use every resource he has to take you down.

Victor: Well, the nurse says Victoria's vitals are normal.

J.T.: That's great.

Victor: I think she can sense when you're around. I think you bring her comfort.

J.T.: Well, I love your daughter very much. In fact, I was hoping to rush her off at the courthouse when the dust settles.

Victor: Well, I have a feeling that won't take too long. It'll make her very happy because she wants a family with you, I know that.

J.T.: One thing that's gonna ruin that is Brad Carlton. If it turns out that he's the father, he's gonna wanna be around all the time.

Victor: Don't you worry about that now. I'll see--I'll see to it that he won't get too close to my grandson. I promise you that.

J.T.: Well, hopefully, it doesn't come to that, but I appreciate that.

Victor: Are you going to the hospital?

J.T.: I am.

Victor: Mind if I catch a ride with you?

J.T.: No, not at all.

Victor: I'd like to see my grandson as well.

J.T.: Sure.

Victor: All right. Let me leave a message for Nikki. I'm going to the hospital to see our grandson, so, um, if you want to see Victoria, this would be a good time.

Jack: And you'll get back to me? Thanks. That was the handwriting expert. The black widow is not gonna be able to throw that fake letter in my face much longer.

Phyllis: Oh. Let's talk about something a little less depressing.

Jack: Like?

Phyllis: Like... bows, candles, party hats.

Jack: You lost me.

Phyllis: Uh... special birthday?

Jack: It's not your birthday.

Phyllis: Um... an ice storm, stuck in an elevator, breech delivery--

Jack: Oh, wait a--

Phyllis: Yeah.

Jack: It's Summer's birthday. She's one year old.

Phyllis: Yes! Yes! Look! Look! There's that smile! Finally!

Jack: Oh, your daughter has a way of bringing that out.

Phyllis: Good, 'cause you needed it.

Jack: I am just so glad you will be there to be part of her big day.

Phyllis: Me, too. I can never repay you for helping me bring my daughter into the world. Ever. I mean, you were there for me, and you kept on telling me that everything would be okay. I can always count on you.

Jack: Ditto. Whenever I'm in trouble, I always know you have my back.

Phyllis: After what I'm about to tell you, you--you may change your mind.

Jack: I doubt that.

Phyllis: Um... Gloria got that letter because she found out about your father's cell mate from Jana. Jana found out about your father's cell mate from me. I'm responsible for that letter coming out.

Jack: (Sighs) you are not responsible.

Phyllis: Do you remember the chaplain?

Jack: The one that knew Dad?

Phyllis: Right. You were visiting and he came by to say hello. I noticed a small reaction on your face. So I started asking him some questions. And I found out he was your father's chaplain, so I wanted to know about John's last few weeks. And, uh, he said that he was the one who delivered the handwritten will, and all the pieces started coming together.

Jack: So how did Jana find out about this?

Phyllis: She must've overheard me. I mean, she started asking questions, and I downplayed it, and I thought she lost interest, but she was obviously digging around for Kevin who told his mother everything. I never meant for this to get out of hand.

Jack: Why didn't you tell me about this before?

Phyllis: Because I didn't wanna know you did anything wrong. I still don't. That letter--it--it-- maybe it's not authentic, right?

Jack: Dad married a liar. You can understand why any man would not want that woman in his family. If there's anything to feel guilty about, it's the fact that I didn't talk Dad out of marrying that witch in the first place.

Phyllis: I feel horrible. I know how important family is to you.

Jack: This is not your fault. You are not to blame for someone else's actions.

Michael: Well, the Hollenbeck deposition is gonna take about an hour, so just put it on my desk and I'll review it afterwards. No, thank you. Good-bye. Yeah. Isn't there a cosmetics company missing an employee?

Kevin: This is more important. I was just with Jana meeting her public defender. Michael, the guy is a complete joke. The ink isn't dry on his diploma yet and he's never tried a murder case. I wouldn't hire this guy to defend me against a parking ticket.

Michael: You don't have any choice. Public defenders come at all levels of experience. It's basically the luck of the draw.

Kevin: You have to defend her.

Michael: We talked about this.

Kevin: Yeah, and we'll talk about it some more until you help me. I love her. Doesn't that matter?

Michael: You know what matters to me? Your safety. And I am not confident that Jana won't try to hurt you again after she's freed.

Kevin: I will get her out one way or another.

Michael: Please tell me you're still not thinking about the, uh, "I'm gonna break her out of the joint" plan.

Kevin: You would think a prison's computer system would be hacker proof. Do you wanna know how long it took me to get the blueprints? I have the guard schedule, the food drop off, the garbage pickup. You name it, I have it. Please don't make me use it.

Brad: All right, I'm gonna head back over to the hospital to see the baby.

Sharon: Okay. Well, you tell the baby that I think he has one of the best dads around.

Brad: Let's hope so.

Sharon: Thanks for being my friend.

Brad: Anytime. Now listen, I don't want you, uh, driving around the city in a trance with your eyes closed, all right?

Sharon: Right. You don't have anything else to say about my situation?

Brad: Nope. Not a word. "Dear Brad" is gonna take a break for awhile. I'm not answering any letters.

Sharon: So it's time to make my own decision?

Brad: Without any outside influence. I will say this, and it's--it's an observation. It's not advice.

Sharon: Oh, okay, got it.

Brad: A parent's top priority is their child's happiness. Seeing the baby in that incubator reaffirmed that for me. I would sacrifice anything for my son. And I know you would do the same for Noah.

Sharon: Even if you were in not such an ideal situation?

Brad: It could be worse, Sharon. All right, you have to promise not to say anything to anyone, but I'm gonna say something nice about your husband.

Sharon: No way!

Brad: Yeah. Jack has his flaws, but he's been a good stepdad to Noah. Now whether or not that's incentive for you to try and make your marriage work out, that's your decision. But do what's best for you and for Noah, not for Jack.

Sharon: Thank you. That's the best "Not telling me what to do" talk I've ever had.

Brad: (Chuckles)

Jack: Hope I'm not interrupting anything.

Sharon: Um, Brad was just--

Jack: Yeah, groping my wife. I caught that.

Brad: Jack, you got the wrong idea. It was a friendly hug. Nothing else.

Jack: You need to keep your hands occupied, why don't you pick up a pair of hedge clippers. They used to keep you plenty busy.

Sharon: All right, that's enough from you, Jack! You know what? You just took that hug out of context. Brad was being my friend. You know, if you had walked in here just few minutes earlier, you might've been surprised by what you heard, because Brad was complimenting you, on how great you are as a stepdad to Noah. It's every other aspect of your life that's a disaster.

Victor: Well, if that little boy's yours, then the GTO might not be the best family car, you know?

J.T.: Well, when it's time for him to go home, we'll, uh, we'll take Victoria's man van. Don't tell her I called it that.

Victor: (Laughs) I tell you, nothing makes a man happier than a child. And when the child gets sick, it breaks your heart. I'd do anything to take his place.

J.T.: I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Victor: Yeah.

Doctor: Excuse me, Mr. Newman?

Victor: Yes, Doc?

Doctor: I would like to schedule a retinal test.

Victor: Something wrong with the eyes?

Doctor: Nothing that I know of. It's a simple test to identify retinopathy of prematurity. We'll be able to determine if there's any retinal scarring or detachment.

Victor: Aha. Well, if that's all right with you?

J.T.: Yeah, if we need to fix something, it's better to know now.

Victor: Then go ahead.

Doctor: Thanks for your consent.

Victor: Okay. Sure.

Michael: So... where's your buddy? Off trying to hornswoggle some unsuspecting woman?

Phyllis: Oh, don't! Don't! Don't!

Michael: Okay, okay, okay, all right, sorry. Serious. Do you have time to answer one question?

Phyllis: It depends on the subject matter, Michael.

Michael: Jana Hawkes.

Phyllis: What about her?

Michael: Well... my brother... asked me to defend her, and I said no. And Kevin didn't seem to quite appreciate that response. And when Kevin doesn't appreciate responses--

Phyllis: He does something crazy, right?

Michael: Exactly. And I don't wanna be responsible for freeing a woman who may or may not show her appreciation by trying to flambé my brother again.

Phyllis: Yeah. Of course. Right. What do you wanna know?

Michael: What do you think about her?

Phyllis: Just a general what do I think about her?

Michael: Mm-hmm.

Phyllis: Um... well, when she was my cell mate in prison, and wanted to be my new best friend, I thought that she was creepy.

Michael: See! I knew it! Creepy! That's a--

Phyllis: Yet--yet-- no, no, no. But... the more I got to know her, the more I felt that she changed.

Michael: Well, in what way?

Phyllis: Well, she was very protective of me in prison. She seemed genuine. And she seemed to really regret her actions.

Michael: Seemed to as in, acting, seemed to?

Phyllis: No. No. No. I don't think she was acting. I mean, she seemed remorseful to me. I mean, I can really read people. I don't think that she is innately evil. I don’t. I could be wrong, but... I honestly believe that that medical condition made her act that way.

Phyllis: Hey.

Jana: Hi! Phyllis! Hi!

Phyllis: Hey.

Jana: I didn't think you'd want to come back here.

Phyllis: Well, you know, you're right, but I'm here. I have some good news for you.

Jana: Oh, really?

Phyllis: Mm-hmm.

Jana: I could use some. You know what it's like being in here.

Phyllis: Yeah, yeah. Michael was asking about you. And I told him that I believed it was your medical condition that made you do, you know... what you did.

Jana: You did that for me? Thank you! God, I can't tell you how much I've tried to prove to Kevin's family that I've changed.

Phyllis: Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Um, the thing that keeps on bugging me... is, uh... you know, I've pulled some scams in the past, so I know what it's like. And I can't help but think that that's what this is. You acting all remorseful, all the while you have something else planned.

Jana: Phyllis, it's not that. It's--it's not that at all. You've seen me wake up in the middle of the night screaming. I'm--I'm haunted by my own actions.

Phyllis: Here, give me your hands. It's good to know. You see, my reputation is on the line. So as much as you love being my friend, you'd hate being my enemy. Just keep on telling me the truth, and we'll be the best of girlfriends, okay?

(Knock on door)

Kevin: Come-- hey. Is this a business or social visit?

Michael: Does it matter?

Kevin: Well, I prefer business, as in, you're accepting my girlfriend's case. But if it's a social visit, get out. I can't talk right now.

Michael: I'm gonna start billing you for every sarcastic remark you make.

Kevin: Does this mean that...

Michael: I'm gonna take Jana's case.

Kevin: You will? You have no idea how much this means to me! Michael--

Michael: Before you start planning the celebration, there's something you've got to understand.

Kevin: What?

Michael: I'm not making you any guarantees. Juries nowadays are weary of defendants who claim to not know what they were doing because they had checked into a room in crazy town.

Kevin: Michael, she wasn't crazy. It was the tumor!

Michael: And we'll save that for a t-shirt. And we'll get as many professionals as possible to state that claim, but I'm telling you, it will still be a challenge.

Kevin: Okay. I know you're gonna do your best.

Michael: All right. I'm gonna go get her file so I can start reviewing the case. You didn't really hack into the prison's system?

Kevin: Get her out. Please.

Kevin: Jana?

Jana: Um, Phyllis popped by for a visit. And she said that your brother was asking all kinds of questions about me. Do you think that he's going to try to help us?

Kevin: He's gonna do better than that. He's representing you!

Jana: Oh, my God! Kevin, are you joking? God, that--that's really the most amazing news. I can't believe it!

Kevin: Oh, believe it. Believe it. My brother's the best. We're finally gonna get to be together again. Yeah! I know!

Jack: Hey. I'm glad you're here. Look, about what happened at the office--

Sharon: No, I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna talk about it.

Jack: I walk in and I find you in Brad's arms. Brad, who has made no secret of the fact that he'd like to be with my wife. You can understand I would be upset.

Sharon: He is my friend. Do you know how sick and tired I am of having to say that every time his name comes up? You need to deal with that.

Jack: That's asking a lot.

Sharon: Yeah? Well, you know what? That's just like-- it's asking a lot that you want me to just get over the fact that you told all of these lies! You know what, Jack? This... is not working. I can't live like this. My stomach is knots all the time because I don't know what's coming next. You know that-- do you know the one constant thing in our relationship has been how often we've had to sit down with Noah and tell him about your lies! And I don't wanna live like that! So just cancel the trip.

Jack: Okay, let's just talk about this, please?

Sharon: No, I'm done. I'm done talking. I'm not gonna ruin Christmas for Noah, but as soon as the holidays are over, we're moving out.

Doctor: Well, this is a lucky encounter. I have the paternity test results. Would you like to follow me to my office?

Victor: No, you may read them here.

Doctor: Congratulations, Mr. Hellstrom. You have a son.

Victor: Well! My goodness! Congratulations.

J.T.: Thank you.

Victor: All right.

J.T.: Thank you.

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Jill: I hear you're taking my advice and entering the contest.

Kay: You told me that you loved him.

Amber: I could love Cane till the day I die.

Victor: The money you borrowed from me is due in its entirety.

Nikki: What?!

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