Y&R Transcript Friday 9/14/07

Y&R Transcript Friday 9/14/07 -- Canada; Monday 9/17/07 -- U.S.A.

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Provided By Eric
Proofread By Emma

Colleen: Hey! How are the balloons coming?

Adrian: I'm running out of steam.

Colleen: You? Never.

Adrian: You're right, I could go all night.

Colleen: I meant, you have a lot of hot air.

Adrian: Ha ha.

Colleen: Do you want me to help you?

Adrian: No, I'm--I'm perfectly capable, thank you.

Colleen: Okay, Baby, what you have to do is you have to get your mouth just right so none of the air leaks out.

Adrian: Um, can you show me again?

Colleen: No. No. Balloons, okay? You have a lot left.

Adrian: It's a good thing I like being bossed around.

Colleen: Oh, um, and this is a divorce present from both of us, okay?

Adrian: What is it, so I can pretend like I helped pick it out?

Colleen: It's an ex-husband voodoo doll.

Adrian: Oh, trés approprié.

Colleen: And... make sure you write in Lily's book.

Adrian: Like what?

Colleen: Um, something you like about her, something to cheer her up.

Adrian: And who's cheering me up?

Colleen: You are so selfish.

Adrian: Well, you know what? We could just get my selfishness out of the way. We could go home for a little while.

Devon: Hey, Guys!

Colleen: Hey!

Devon: Where would you like me to put this, Colleen?

Colleen: Oh, that's awesome! Yeah, just over there.

Devon: Over there?

Colleen: Yeah.

Devon: Hey, uh, Roxanne, this is Colleen and Adrian.

Colleen: Hi.

Roxanne: Hi.

Colleen: Hi, nice to meet you.

Roxanne: Nice to meet you, too.

Adrian: Adrian.

Roxanne: Hi. Um, can I help with anything?

Colleen: Uh, sure. Um, the party favors over there?

Roxanne: All right.

Colleen: Thank you.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Colleen: She's cute.

Devon: And smart, too. She's majoring in Political Science. Dean's list.

Adrian: So, uh, will I see you at the after party?

Colleen: If you're lucky.

Adrian: Oh, I am.

Jill: The door was jammed and I was banging on it, but nobody could hear me.

Woman: How did you know Ms. Abbott was locked in there?

Amber: Uh, I-I didn't-- I guess I, um, just happened to be at the right place at the right time.

Woman: You're lucky she heard you.

Jill: Yeah, I am. I'm very lucky.

Woman: Weren't you on "Extreme Catwalk"?

Amber: Yeah.

Woman: She's your mother-in-law.

Jill: (Coughs) I'm her ex-mother-in-law.

Woman: That's a story!

Amber: No! No, no, no! Come on!

Woman: Excuse me.

Amber: Come on, please don't write about that. I can't wait for the day that no one recognizes me for that stupid "Catwalk" video.

Jill: Amber, I don't think that day will ever come. I know I'll never forget it. Look... I wanna say... thank you.

Amber: You're welcome.

Jill: You could've left me in there.

Amber: Wow. You got a pretty low opinion of me, huh? Um... maybe you could tell Cane that I'm not a complete low-life.

Neil: Well, I, uh... read your proposal on marine farming, and I got one question for you. Victoria? Hi, remember me? Yeah, um, I'm saying yes to your aquaculture proposal.

Victoria: Oh! Uh, fantastic. That's great. We do it right. No more polluting nearby waters and no more habitat destruction.

Neil: Exactly. I like where you're going with that. I'm excited. Would you be my point person?

Victoria: Yeah, Neil, for as long as I can.

(Knock on door)

Neil: I understand that. And also, I'd like to bring Devon in on this.

Victoria: Sure. Yeah. (Knock on door)

Karen: Hey, Neil-- excuse me. You know what? I'll--I'll come back later.

Victoria: No, no, that's okay. Actually, we were just finishing up.

Neil: Yeah.

Victoria: Is there anything else?

Neil: No, no, no.

Victoria: We're good?

Neil: Have a good day.

Victoria: All right. You, too. Bye.

Karen: All right, so when are you available to meet with Feingold?

Neil: Feingold?

Karen: Yeah.

Neil: Um, that's later this week.

Karen: That's no good. It's a Jewish holiday. Yom Kippur.

Neil: Ah. Right.

Karen: Yeah.

Neil: Um, let me see what I can do to shuffle my schedule.

Karen: All right. Um, and are we still on for tonight?

Neil: Tonight?

Karen: Mm-hmm.

Neil: Oh, um, tonight. A little change of plans. My daughter's friend is throwing Lily a divorce party at Indigo and I gotta be there for moral support.

Karen: Of course you do. We'll just--you know what? We'll do it a different night.

Neil: Yeah, cool, um, but maybe you'd like to join me?

Karen: You know, actually, I went to a friend's divorce party once. She rented a stripper pole, talked trash about her ex, burned him in effigy, and then played pin-the-tail-on-the-jackass. One guess who the jackass was.

Neil: Who?

Karen: Oh!

Neil: Oh, the--yeah, yeah, of course, the guy, the guy, right, right, right. Well, no, this one is gonna be a little bit different. Um, no one is gonna be burned in effigy because, you know, it's against the fire codes.

Karen: Yeah, go figure.

Neil: So... can I take that as a yes? 'Cause lemme tell you, you're gonna be saving me from a night of hanging out with a bunch of 20-year-olds.

Karen: All right.

Victoria: I need something more substantial than a salad. You wanna meet me for dinner?

J.T.: Well, I'm not hungry, but I'd love to stare at you all night.

Victoria: You're crazy.

J.T.: I call it something else.

Victoria: Why don't you meet me at the club in a half an hour?

J.T.: Quick stop by the loft first?

Victoria: Wow, one-track mind.

J.T.: Hey, hey, you were talking about dinner, I'm talking about a little appetizer.

Victoria: Right. The kind that burns calories.

J.T.: Oh, well, if you insist, I guess we can do that, too.

Victoria: I'll see you at the club.

Paul: So, is, um, Victoria still living at your place?

J.T.: Yeah, she spends most nights there.

Paul: I thought she would've moved on by now.

J.T.: Oh, I see your, uh, your faith in me is purely professional.

Paul: Well, she was your rebound fling, right? It's not that...

J.T.: Well, and I was hers.

Paul: And she's gonna need extra room for the baby.

J.T.: All right, I'll give up my side of the bed and sleep on the floor. Will that make you happy?

Paul: And she comes from money.

J.T.: And I don't. What's your point?

Paul: That is my point, you don't.

J.T.: Well, you know what? Sometimes opposites attract.

Paul: How much does it cost to, uh, tune up your car?

J.T.: I do the work myself, so it's just parts and, uh, the labor's free.

Paul: Do you have any idea how much, say, uh... a routine maintenance is on Victoria's car?

J.T.: Probably a lot.

Paul: She's used to spending money in ways you and I can only imagine.

J.T.: All right, she's slumming it when she's out with me. I get it.

Paul: Don't get defensive. I don't think there's any connection between wealth and personal worth, I'm just saying... maybe you oughta slow things down a little bit? Be careful. Be realistic.

J.T.: I appreciate the advice, Dad. Now will you show me how to ride a bike and bait a fish hook?

J.T.: When was the last time I sat down and told you anything about my personal life? Yeah, I don't remember, either. But before I do, promise me you're not working for Victor.

Paul: Is that what you think?

J.T.: Is that a no?

Paul: J.T., it's a big no.

J.T.: All right. Good, I don't have to take the dartboard down when you stop by.

Paul: The one with Victor on it?

J.T.: Bulls eye.

Paul: I get the picture.

J.T.: All right, fine, what do I need to be careful of that I'm not already being careful of?

Paul: J.T., what if the baby isn't yours? I mean, all I have heard you say is, "I will love it as if it were my own." That's not half of what you'll face.

J.T.: I'll deal with it.

Paul: Okay, let me put it another way. What if there was someone else that had the same problem, same situation, and you heard them say they'll deal with it. Wouldn't there be a part of you looking at them thinking that... they might be just a little naive?

J.T.: Yeah, maybe. Maybe, but I might also call that person... hopeful. Maybe confident.

Paul: Okay. Imagine being connected to Brad Carlton on a permanent basis. Being in love is like a mental illness. It's like an obsession, dementia.

J.T.: Well, that explains your behavior every time you're around Maggie.

Paul: You know how bad it was when you were living with Brad's daughter. Trust me, it'll be even worse if you're living with his baby.

J.T.: I might be the father.

Paul: You might not be.

J.T.: Victoria is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Paul: So was Colleen.

J.T.: That's cold.

Paul: It's also true.

J.T.: All right, Paul, fine, what do you want me to say? That--that I'm--that I'm not 100% sure of everything I do in life?

Paul: Including hooking up with Victoria?

J.T.: All right, fine, I am not 100% sure of anything, including my relationship with Victoria, however perfect it may seem to me.

Paul: That's all I want. I'm just saying... be realistic.

J.T.: All right, fine. Fine, but don't ever compare Colleen and Victoria. Victoria and me-- we're on the same level. You know, we--we joke with each other, we're relaxed around each other. Colleen was never like that. She was always Ms. Serious.

Colleen: Baby, please don't. My stomach hurts. No more. No more!

Lily: Okay, okay, fun police. Break it up. Break it up.

Colleen: Hi!

Lily: Hi.

Colleen: You look amazing!

Lily: Thank you. Oh, my gosh! I... I'm gonna kill Devon for that.

Colleen: Oh, come on, you're so cute!

Adrian: She still is.

Lily: Okay, I'm officially embarrassed. Where's Devon, because he's dead. I'm gonna kill him.

Colleen: Guess what?

Lily: What?

Colleen: Devon--

Lily: Mm-hmm.

Colleen: Brought a date.

Adrian: Roxanne was her name.

Colleen: Yeah. And she's hot.

Adrian: Totally.

Lily: Wow! Go him! Where'd they meet?

Colleen: I don't know.

Lily: Well, let's see if she can pass the Lily test.

Colleen: What is it?

Lily: Um... I thought--I thought I saw someone.

Colleen: Who?

Lily: Never mind. Hey, let's go. This party's gonna rock!

Jill: So there I was, taking a nice relaxing steam, trying to get my mind off Ji Min. And all of a sudden, I was trapped and everybody else had gone.

Cane: And don't tell, some really good fairy with big arms came to your rescue?

Jill: No, actually, it was Amber.

Cane: You're kidding?

Jill: I'm not, it was Amber.

Cane: No! No, that sounds shonky. She probably locked you in there and started the fire so she could be a hero.

Jill: Well, I wouldn't put that past her.

Cane: Why didn't you call me about this earlier?

Jill: Ah, Baby, I didn't wanna worry you. I'm fine.

Cane: Mum, you're not fine. You just lost your fiancé.

Jill: I wish I could go two minutes without thinking about Ji Min, seeing his body on the floor...

Cane: All right, that's it. I'm not going out tonight, I'm gonna keep you company.

Jill: Yes, you are. No, you're going to the party. That'll be a lot more fun.

Cane: More fun than hanging out with my mum? Nah, I don't think so.

Jill: Oh, please!

Cane: Of all the people to save you, I can't believe it was Amber.

Jill: Should I get her a thank you gift? What do you get for the girl who tricked your son into a marriage?

Cane: Don't bother. Trust me. She'll find a way to exploit this to get what she wants.

Amber: There's gotta be a way I can use this to win Cane back.

Daniel: Mm-hmm. And after that, maybe do something about global warming?

Amber: What do you think he would do if I showed up at Clear Springs, hm?

Kevin: Take out a restraining order? Chase you with a metal bat? I don't know.

Amber: I read this book about how to get your man back.

Daniel: Yeah, you know, if that was in the clearance section, there was probably a good reason for it.

Kevin: I could tell you what not to do. Do not show up outside her apartment with a pair of binoculars.

Amber: Wow! Well, thank you, captain obvious.

Daniel: Or wait-- or don't call her or him 50 times a day.

Kevin: Uh, this is my third phone call of the day, since you seem to be counting. Hi, this is Kevin Fisher calling for Jana Hawkes. Okay, thank you.

Daniel: Dude, she doesn't wanna talk to you.

Kevin: She just can't come to the phone right now.

Daniel: She had a brain tumor. Her legs--they still work.

Amber: Face it.

Kevin: No, you face it. Cane is not gonna wake up one day and decide that he likes you.

Daniel: Okay, okay, that's a little harsh.

Amber: No, no, no, no, that's cool. That's cool. He's entitled to his opinion. I just know he's wrong.

Kevin: Oh, fine, you keep telling yourself that. I'll let you know how many girls he picks up tonight at Indigo.

Amber: He's going to Indigo tonight?

Daniel: What's going on over there?

Kevin: Uh, nothing-- nothing really. Colleen just invited me to this, uh, party.

Amber: I love parties!

Daniel: Yeah, me, too. I like parties.

Kevin: You're not gonna wanna come to this party.

Daniel: Why not?

Kevin: It's a, uh... well, you know, it's a-- it's a divorce party for Lily.

Daniel: Oh. Clearly you're not going.

Daniel: You're celebrating my divorce? Gee, thanks, Buddy.

Kevin: It was supposed to be a housewarming party for Colleen. I committed to going, then she changed it. I couldn't say no.

Amber: Oh, sure you could. Repeat after me, no.

Kevin: She's my friend.

Daniel: What the heck are we?

Kevin: Hi, this is Kevin Fisher calling again for Jana Hawkes. Yeah, I can hold.

Daniel: You know, my friends are gonna be at that party talking trash about me.

Kevin: It's not gonna be that kind of party.

Daniel: Oh, you wanna make a bet? I bet her dad will buy her some kind of, like, congratulations for breaking up that loser car or something.

Amber: Hey, uh, we could crash the party.

Daniel: Uh, no. That's a really bad idea.

Kevin: Hey, Jana! Jana, hi! Uh, hi. I've been trying to get in touch with you the last couple days.

Jana: I know.

Kevin: How are you feeling?

Jana: Okay.

Kevin: Good. Hey, did I do something to tick you off? Because if I did, I--

Jana: No, it isn't you. It's me. Look, you need to stop phoning me.

Kevin: I'm not gonna stop calling you.

Jana: Please. Kevin, if you love me, you'll do as I ask.

Kevin: Jana? She doesn't wanna talk to me.

Daniel: Kev, look, the three of us suck at relationships. Okay, we're like those "Don't try this at home" examples.

Amber: You know... we could throw our own party.

Daniel: What, like a congratulations that I got divorced party? Yippee!

Kevin: You know, in Morocco, when a woman gets divorced, her friends throw her a divorce party.

Amber: Nice.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, and all of the eligible bachelors show up and they bring gifts, like jewelry or camels.

Amber: Hmm. I'm open to all kinds of jewelry. You can have my camel.

Daniel: Oh, thank you, I feel so loved.

Kevin: So anyway, the party goes on for days and days, and at the end she decides which bachelor she wants to marry.

Daniel: Yeah, only that's not gonna happen here, right? Because Lily's so happy, she'll probably find a guy within the first hour.

Amber: I doubt it. She's probably completely miserable and just lonely without you. I mean, come on-- seriously, her best friend had to throw her a party to cheer her up.

Daniel: Think so?

Amber: Absolutely.

Lily: Whoo! Oh, wait, hold on! I'll be right back. (Giggles)

Devon: Lily! That's... cold!

Lily: Hey, you are lucky I don't have any baby pictures of you, okay?

Devon: Baby pict-- you have plenty of embarrassing pictures of me!

Lily: Actually, that's true. I have one from when we went to the ballet and he fell asleep.

Roxanne: Oh, I'd like to see that.

Lily: Yes.

Devon: Uh, Roxanne, this is Lily. Lily, Roxanne.

Lily: Hi, nice to meet you.

Roxanne: Nice to meet you, too.

Lily: I didn't know you were... dating.

Devon: Yeah, well, uh, it must've slipped my mind. I forgot to tell you.

Lily: Yeah, 'cause you were too busy railing on me about Daniel.

Devon: You know, getting rid of that guy is the best thing you've ever done.

Lily: Oh.

Roxanne: I wonder how he really feels.

Lily: Oh, okay, okay, I like her. I like her. Now why are you with him?

Devon: That's exactly why I didn't wanna bring you tonight.

Lily: Oh, hey!

Devon: I'm joking. Hey, look who's here.

Lily: Oh, um, is-- is he dating Karen?

Devon: No, no, they, uh, they just work together.

Lily: Oh, God! He thinks he can dance!

Devon: Yeah, I can see that. I can definitely see that. I need to go over there and help him before he hurts himself.

Lily: Yeah.

Devon: I do. Are you gonna be okay? I'll be just a second.

Roxanne: Oh, go ahead.

Devon: Okay.

Lily: Dad?

Neil: Oh, hey, Baby, how you doing? What's up? What's up?

Devon: Hey!

Neil: What?

Devon: What are you doing? You trying to dance? You trying to dance?

Neil: See, I know you came over here because you want-- you want me to give you a lesson, right?

Devon: No, no, no.

Lily: Uh, no, thank you.

Devon: I'm actually, um, I'm meeting up with Michael Jackson later to learn those moves you're trying to do right now.

Neil: Michael Jackson?

Devon: Yeah.

Neil: Yeah, I did teach him everything he knows.

Devon: You taught him?

Neil: You know, you see how hard my kids are being on me? They don't know how smooth I am.

Karen: Very smooth.

Devon: You think he's smooth? Lemme show you smooth.

Lily: Okay.

Devon: All you have to do is something like this. You just gotta, you know--don't have to do anything complicated.

Neil: Like that? Wait, wait, wait, hold on, what about something like this? You like that?

Devon: She doesn't like that. She don't want you to do that.

Lily: Stop! Stop!

Neil: How about the water sprinkler? Something like that?

J.T.: There's been a number of on-site thefts at Clear Springs.

Paul: We'll have to provide extra security.

J.T.: Cane wants to catch 'em. The plan is for me to go undercover on the construction site.

Paul: That's not gonna work.

J.T.: Why not?

Paul: Half of Cane's crew is from Genoa City. You'll be made the first day.

J.T.: I have an idea. But I'm gonna need your help. Can you swing by Indigo tonight?

Lily: Um, can I get some more cranberry juice, please? Thanks.

[Lily remembering]

Daniel: Lily? Just 'cause I put my name on that piece of paper, it doesn't mean that I don't love you.

Colleen: Why aren't you dancing? There's a lot of hot guys there. Go flirt! Are you drinking?

Lily: Uh, no, it's just cranberry juice. Do you want some?

Colleen: No. You need to meet some new people, okay?

Lily: Ugh. How about I put a little umbrella in my drink to make me look more sophisticated.

Victoria: You know, the oceans are being overfished. And we can grow massive amounts of protein without damaging the ecosystem if we're careful.

J.T.: And you're gonna take this one single-handedly?

Victoria: Uh-huh! Walk softly and carry a lipstick. (Giggles)

J.T.: You did not just say that.

Victoria: I did. So, um, what are you working on?

J.T.: You. Me. Loft.

Victoria: Besides that.

J.T.: Uh, I actually got a new client.

Victoria: Oh, really? That's great. Something interesting?

J.T.: You never know. Sometimes the most boring jobs end up being the most intriguing.

Paul: Pact tonight-- we don't talk about work.

Maggie: We make that pact and break it every time we go out.

Paul: Tonight it's gonna be different, 'cause we're gonna have something riding on it.

Maggie: What?

Paul: The loser gives the winner a massage.

Maggie: Who's the winner, who's the loser? No, no, no, we'd have to up the stakes considerably.

Paul: That's a good point. All right, you have something in mind?

Maggie: Do you still have your father's old police uniform?

Paul: I do. I don't that I can find it, but I do.

Maggie: How about... if I win, you do my bidding for the day?

Paul: Okay, fine, what about if I win?

Maggie: That won't happen.

Paul: So, let's say I do, if I win, then you can by my... you know, uh, servant for 24 hours. How's that? Good?

Maggie: Yeah.

Paul: I like that.

Maggie: Yeah? I hope you like it as much when, uh, you're fixing my broken toilet.

Heather: Thank God! A friendly face.

Maggie: Oh, hi.

Paul: Why, look, its Heather from work! Oops! So how are things at the office?

Heather: I haven't been out of the office before 8:00 p.m. since the day I started the job, so no talk about work tonight.

Maggie: Okay.

Paul: Well, see that? It's popular.

Heather: Have you guys, uh, have you seen Cane?

Paul: Uh, no. No. Um, you have a date?

Heather: Um, he, uh, he invited me to stop by, but, um... I don't know anyone here.

Maggie: Well, we'll introduce you to some people.

Heather: Male and eligible would be nice.

Maggie: Okay, come on, we'll start at the bar.

Karen: There's some serious chemistry going on in here.

Neil: Yes, there is.

Karen: Refill?

Neil: With a twist?

Karen: Yes, please.

Colleen: Kevin! Kevin!

Kevin: Hey.

Colleen: I'm so glad you could come.

Kevin: Well, I almost changed my mind. I'm not really in a party mood.

Colleen: Your roommates giving you a hard time?

Kevin: No, Jana won't even talk to me.

Colleen: But I thought she said you could visit her.

Kevin: She changed her mind because she's scared.

Colleen: Of what?

Kevin: Of what might happen if her tumor grows back.

Colleen: Okay, so she would rather worry than live her life?

Kevin: Kinda like me, feeling really, really guilty about being here tonight, so fun is not an option.

Colleen: Well, it is if you're hanging out with me.

Kevin: This is a divorce party for the ex-wife of my very good friend/roommate.

Colleen: Roommates. Cane's here.

Kevin: Oh, that's just great. Amber's gonna flip. You know, you may as well tattoo "Traitor" across my forehead.

Amber: Benedict Arnold.

Daniel: Snake.

Amber: Back-stabber.

Daniel: Double-crosser.

Amber: Judas.

Daniel: Turncoat.

Amber: I'm starting to feel better.

Daniel: I'm not. What are you doing?

Amber: Calling Kevin.

Daniel: No, no, no, don't! Don't call Kevin!

Amber: Hey, Kevin? Kevin? It's Amber. Hey, listen, um, is Cane at the party? Ugh! I knew it! Ugh! Oh, I'm such a screw-up!

Daniel: See, now all you're gonna do is obsess about that stupid party all night.

Amber: I had the best marriage of my life and I just ruined it.

Daniel: You know, you can only take half the blame for that. I mean, it is Cane's fault that he didn't give you another chance.

Amber: Oh, why? Why would he, huh? I mean, I'm a just complete disaster.

Daniel: Yeah, but you're a funny, hot and intelligent disaster.

Amber: Oh, no one thinks I'm smart.

Daniel: I do. And my opinion's all that matters.

Amber: Really?

Daniel: Yeah, and I wasn't finished. I mean, you're also trusting and--and optimistic.

Amber: Yeah, right. Not anymore.

Daniel: Look, don't give up just because Crocodile Dundee doesn't see it.

Amber: You know, you're one to talk. You're all that.

Daniel: Yeah, and a bag of cow chips.

Amber: No, you are kind and loyal and generous.

Daniel: And let's not forget housebroken.

Amber: Is Kevin the one that always leaves the seat up?

Daniel: Lily did train me.

Amber: She's an idiot! She's never gonna find anyone better than you!

Cane: So... I think we are the hottest divorcees in the place.

Lily: Well, I think we're the only divorcees in the place.

Cane: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Lily: Yes. To moving on.

Cane: Moving on.

Lily: Yes, you did!

Cane: No, I'm not. Trust me.

Heather: Cane? Hi.

Cane: Hey, I'm glad you could come.

Heather: Well, thanks for inviting me.

Cane: Have you met, uh, Lily Romalotti?

Lily: Winters.

Heather: Yes.

Kevin: I mean, you heard her yourself. Jana says we can't be together because I live in the real world and she lives in there.

Colleen: Well, it doesn't sound like she's changing her mind anytime soon.

Kevin: It's just... it's so damn frustrating.

Colleen: Kevin, why don't you move on?

Kevin: How am I supposed to do that? No, no, no way. I can't. It's... it's just not logical after everything we've been through.

Colleen: Well, love and logic are mutually exclusive. I mean, how else would I have ended up with Adrian?

Kay: Why didn't you tell me you were in that fire?

Jill: It wasn't that big a deal.

Kay: Compared to what? Ji Min's death?

Jill: (Coughs) thank you so much for reminding me.

Kay: Have you seen a doctor?

Jill: I don't need a doctor.

Kay: Well, I think you should.

Jill: Mother, really, it was not that bad. There wasn't that much smoke.

Kay: (Sighs) Amber, of all the people... coming to your rescue. What are the odds?

Amber: Did you hear that reporter? Hm? I'm a hero.

Daniel: Jill owes you big time.

Amber: Yeah, I just wish she would tell Cane that.

Daniel: Well, I'm pretty sure he's gonna find out. I mean, hello, she's his mom.

Amber: You know what would be really nice? If he could see people treating my like a hero.

Daniel: Yeah, you know what? Why don't you just stop that thought right there, because we are not going to Indigo.

Amber: Daniel...

Daniel: No, look, you are a good friend of mine and I would do just about anything for you--

Amber: Fine, then do this for me!

Daniel: I'm not crashing my ex-wife's divorce party! Okay, I'm not a masochist!

Amber: Okay, fine, you don't wanna go? Don't go.

Daniel: You're not a masochist either. You're just not thinking clearly. Look, you go there, they're gonna slaughter you or they're gonna throw you out.

Amber: Okay, you just wanna sit around and--and just pretend our exes aren't celebrating?

Daniel: Sounds pretty good to me.

Amber: Okay. Well, I don't get to be a hero every day, so you know what? I'm gonna use it. You wanna stay, stay. But me, I need a wardrobe change.

Daniel: Amber, no, no, no, this is a bad idea! Look, come on, we can stay in, we can order Chinese food, we can watch "Sex and the City"! This is a bad idea.

Colleen: What is it?

Lily: Oh, my gosh, it's a "How to get over him" magic spell kit from Devon!

Roxanne: Subtle.

Colleen: Pass it around.

Lily: All right, all right.

Colleen: Next one.

Lily: Okay. Let's see here... oh, thank you, Karen! This is awesome.

Karen: You're welcome.

Colleen: What is it?

Lily: Its kickboxing classes.

Colleen: Oh!

Devon: That will come in handy for if Daniel doesn't stop bothering you.

Lily: Oh, really? It might work on you, too, Devon.

Devon: Ouch.

Neil: Karen, that was really nice, but you didn't have to do that.

Karen: Hey, breaking up is tough, I remember. And believe me, a little butt kicking right about now, might do a girl some good.

Lily: Okay... (Giggles)

Roxanne: To keep your sheets warm in the winter.

Lily: Oh! I love it! I do! I will definitely use it. But I might have to hide it from Devon, actually.

Devon: Oh, come on now. I'm way too hot to need a water bottle.

Lily: Oh, okay!

Colleen: Can everyone make sure that you write in Lily's book, please?

Lily: Aw.

Cane: Thank you.

J.T.: Are you sure you're up for this?

Victoria: Yeah, it'll be fun.

J.T.: You're gonna have to be convincing.

Victoria: Okay, well, I was the cowardly lion in the third grade.

J.T.: Oh, really? I'd like to see pictures.

Victoria: I bet you would.

J.T.: Showtime. Hey, Maggie, how you doing?

Maggie: Oh, hey, Guys. How you doing?

Victoria: Hi. We're great.

Maggie: Yeah?

Victoria: Yeah.

Paul: What are you doing here?

J.T.: What does it look like?

Paul: What does it look like? You're supposed to be on a stakeout.

J.T.: Oh, yeah, yeah, that was a waste of time. The guy turned in for the night.

Paul: You're supposed to be there all night even if the guy doesn't move an inch.

J.T.: Whoa.

Paul: What's the matter with you?

J.T.: I got better things to do, Paul, all right? I've been staking this guy out for weeks. For what?

Paul: It's your job.

J.T.: Well, get somebody else to take a night every once in a while.

Paul: Excuse me?

Victoria: Um, J.T., um, let's just go. Let's go home.

J.T.: No, we came here to have a good time.

Paul: You knew what you were signing up for when you took this job in the first place!

Maggie: Okay, Guys, you know what? Let's just calm down.

J.T.: You think you own me 24/7? Is that it?

Paul: If that's what it takes to get the job done, then, yeah.

Maggie: Okay, you know what, Guys, seriously! We're here to have a good time.

J.T.: Yeah, that's right, we are here to have a good time. And you are interfering with that right now.

Paul: Okay, fine. There are plenty of other guys who would love to replace you.

J.T.: You will never find anybody that's been as loyal to you as I've been. I busted my butt for you and you know it!

Paul: That's what it takes.

J.T.: What, are you gonna fire me? Is that it? Is that what you're saying?

Paul: If you can't do the job, yeah, I'll fire you.

J.T.: I've been doing the job! Why don't you try doing the job every once in a while instead of me doing all the work and you taking all the credit.

Victoria: You didn't mean that.

Paul: Oh, really?

J.T.: I am tired of being his errand boy.

Cane: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is not the place for this. I would really appreciate it.

J.T.: I'm sick of this, Paul.

Cane: Knock it off, all right?

Paul: Fine, J.T., you are fired. Got it?

J.T.: Yeah, I got it.

Cane: What set him off?

Victoria: I don't know. I have no idea. I've never seen him like this before.

Paul: It's been coming for a long time.

Maggie: So much for not talking about work. I win.

Jana: You shouldn't be here.

Kevin: Jana... I'm not gonna abandon you. We love each other.

Jana: It's better to have loved and lost then to be with... a psycho.

Kevin: Jana, you're not a psycho.

Jana: I have loads of potential.

Kevin: Look, I... I get that you're worried that the tumor might come back.

Jana: That's only part of it.

Kevin: So what, you're worried you're gonna hurt me again?

Jana: I almost killed you.

Kevin: But this time we're gonna be more prepared, okay? If you start acting weird or-- well, weirder than normal-- not normal, normal, but, you know, Jana normal.

Jana: I won't let you waste your life on me. I'm going to be locked up, one way or another, for the rest of my life.

Kevin: No, no, not if I have anything to say about it.

Jana: Do you know how guilty and horrible I feel watching you hang on to a little thread of hope? We're not going to be together. You need to move on with your life.

Kevin: My life is here with you.

Jana: Five years from now or seven or ten or whatever it takes, you'll realize it's never going to change. You'll leave me anyway. Only you'll hate me then. And you'll have wasted all this time when you could've met somebody else and started a family.

Kevin: None of that is gonna happen. I could never hate you. Okay, we're... we're fate. Okay, we're kismet. We're... we're Bonnie and Clyde, okay? We're Mulder and Scully. Maddie and David. Uh, Starsky and Hutch!

Jana: Starsky and Hutch?

Kevin: Jana, I would rather have you tumor and all than not be together. You can't give up. I'm not gonna let you. Come here. Come here.

Kevin: No. No.

Jana: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just... I can't can't do this. I'm taking you off my visitors list.

Kevin: Jana, Jana, listen to me. No!

Jana: Good-bye.

Kevin: Jana! Why won't you listen to me?

Lily: Listen, I am not giving anybody my number tonight.

Colleen: Oh, yes, you are!

Lily: No, I'm not.

Devon: Hey, I've been looking for you.

Roxanne: Oh, you disappeared.

Devon: I know, I know. Uh, can I talk to you for a second?

Roxanne: Sure.

Devon: All right. Excuse us.

Lily: Have fun!

Devon: I love my job, but I do not like it tonight.

Roxanne: Why? What's up?

Devon: Something happened with one of our factories in Brazil and I have to deal with it.

Roxanne: Now?

Devon: Yeah, I have to deal with it tonight. I have to just make a cell phone call, but I could take you home if you want. You're more than welcome to come with me.

Roxanne: I love watching a guy in action.

Devon: Oh, yeah? Let's go.

Roxanne: All right.

Cane: Hey.

Lily: Hi.

Cane: I just wanna apologize. I, um... I didn't bring you a gift. I... I didn't know I was supposed to.

Lily: It's okay. I didn't get you one either. But, you know what? I'll, uh... I'll settle for a kiss.

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Colleen: What are you doing here? You know what? I don't even care what you're gonna say, leave.

Lily: Can we just... pretend that never happened?

Cane: What happened?

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