Y&R Transcript Monday 8/20/07

Y&R Transcript Monday 8/20/07 -- Canada; Tuesday 8/21/07 -- USA

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Colleen: I cannot believe you tanked Adrian's job in Paris.

Brad: The idea was you wouldn't find out.

Colleen: Oh, because you know what's best for me?

Brad: Yeah, I think I do, yes.

Colleen: You lied to me, Dad.

Brad: It was a lie of omission.

Colleen: It's the same thing. It doesn't matter what I want, does it?

Brad: Of course it matters.

Colleen: You have no right to control my life or Adrian's life.

Brad: All right, listen. Listen. Someday, and I hope that's a long way off, you'll have children of your own, and when you do--

Colleen: No, I won't. I'm too afraid they'll turn out like you.

Adrian: How long has Brad been hiding his identity?

Jana: I don't know how many years exactly. Imagine your girlfriend having to live with that secret.

Adrian: Well, she is quite good at not telling. Now, Jana, are you absolutely sure Brad and Colleen Carlton are fictitious names?

Jana: Of course I'm sure. (Sighs) You know, Colleen is such a wonderful girl. I hope my Kate grows up to be just like her when she gets older.

Adrian: I'm sorry. Your--your whom?

Jana: My daughter Kate. Her daddy calls her "Kit-Kat." Oh, both of our children just favor Kevin. I just love that.

Kevin: One minute, she's lucid. The next minute she's not, and sometimes it seems like she is, but she starts talking about our nonexistent family.

Gloria: So she's worse?

Kevin: Yeah, she's worse. Mom, she has a brain tumor.

Gloria: You know, Honey, even if this surgery works, there are no guarantees that--

Kevin: I know that. I know that. She could be fine. She could be weird. She could be on life support. She could be... look, I've heard it all, okay?

Gloria: She could do life without parole for murder. You need to be focusing on your own arrest, Kevin.

Kevin: I didn't come here for a lecture. Are you gonna help me?

Gloria: I think I am. I'm paying for the surgery.

Kevin: No, no, not that. She, um, she gave me medical Power of Attorney, and I know you went through that with John.

Gloria: What are you asking me, Kevin?

Kevin: If, um, if something bad happens, I need to know what to do.

Sharon: Mmm.

Jack: Here, switch.

Sharon: You know, we're gonna have to do some serious workout penance for this.

Jack: Oh, well.

Jack: Sharon Abbott, you found the golden ticket. Come on down!

Sharon: What? What golden ticket? What is this?

Jack: My gosh, what does it say?

Sharon: "Clue-- there once was a fellow named Jack"... 

Jack: Me?

Sharon: "Who asked Sharon to stay on this track"...

Jack: Eh.

Sharon: "Find something that's red on the couch or the bed, and her evening won't look quite so black."

Jack: Okay, I studied economics. I missed the Ogden Nash class.

Sharon: You wrote a limerick, and you put it on the inside of an ice cream container?

Jack: I just wanted to get you out of this, "I'm a bad mother, I'm a bad wife" funk. I thought something perfectly silly and frivolous would help.

Sharon: Aw. Okay, "Find something red on the couch or the bed."

Jack: Mm-hmm.

Sharon: Well, mm. Oh! Hey, I found it.

Jack: Wow.

Sharon: (Giggles) All right.

Sharon: "Change your venue to change your luck"?

Jack: Which means you're not gonna read another one of my award-winning clues here.

Phyllis: (Moans)

Nick: What's wrong?

Phyllis: Um, this thing. It's digging into my flesh like a medieval torture device.

Nick: Let me see it.

Summer: (Cooing)

Nick: I know what you need.

Phyllis: What?

Nick: Socks.

Phyllis: Yeah, socks.

Nick: Yeah. And sleeping beauty agrees with me, don't you?

Summer: (Crying)

Phyllis: Something's wrong.

Nick: What?

Phyllis: That--that is not her "I'm wet" or "I'm tired" or "I'm bored" cry.

Summer: (Cries)

Phyllis: Hey, baby girl.

Nick: Come, little one. Oh. Hey. You're right. She's burning up.

Phyllis: Oh, 99.8.

Nick: Hey, Logan, it's Nick. Uh, yeah, hi. Uh, Summer woke up with a little bit of a fever, and I was wondering if you could come by and take a look at her. We can't get a hold of her regular pediatrician.

Summer: (Cries)

Phyllis: I know, Sweetie. I know.

Nick: Cool. Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Phyllis: I know. I know, Sweetie. Maybe if I-I nurse, that'll help her sleep. I don't know. Oh, and the doctor can't do that, can she? Dr. Logan can't do that, and maybe after tomorrow, I won't be able to do it either. I know.

Nick: Well, maybe you won't have to go to jail.

Phyllis: Or maybe I will.

Gloria: I felt so helpless when John was in a coma, and I hated having to let him go, but I did, even though I still believe in miracles.

Kevin: Well, he signed a DNR, right? Jana hasn't.

Gloria: And that might not matter.

Kevin: Meaning what?

Gloria: Well, you said yourself. Sometimes she's lucid, sometimes she's nuts. Doctors might not trust that.

Kevin: That sucks.

Gloria: That's right. So if Jana comes out of this worse than before, you might not be thinking clearly.

Kevin: Yeah, I know that.

Gloria: No. Knowing it and living it are two very different things, Sweetie. You have to do what Jana wants you to do. Now you say you know when she's thinking right?

Kevin: Yeah, of course I do.

Gloria: Good, good. Then when she is, you ask her what she wants, because it's her life, and it's her choice.

Adrian: I'm trying to ascertain... well, I suspect that Colleen's father Brad-- whatever his name is-- trafficked in stolen art. In fact, I'm guessing that's why he changed his name. If in fact, he changed it at all.

Jana: I told you he did.

Adrian: Yes, Jana, but the truth could be essential to my book.

Jana: Absolutely. Of course, it would have been so hard for you to write in prison. No one would trust a felon.

Adrian: Excuse me?

Jana: Professor, I tried to frame you for murder.

Adrian: Yes...

Jana: (Groans)

Adrian: I'm--I'm not sure what that has to--

Jana: God, it was such a horrid thing to do, but I was bonkers back then, you know, because of the tumor.

Adrian: All right, Jana, my book will have several first-person accounts, and I would like yours to be one of them.

Jana: You'll make me famous.

Adrian: If the information you provide could be vetted.

Jana: Here's something you don't know. There was a listening device planted in the Carltons' living room.

Adrian: Who planted it?

Jana: Me.

Adrian: Jana, I... I have no way of knowing... (Sighs) You also just told me that you and Kevin have children.

Jana: Yeah, and a lovely house in Yorkshire. And we also have this beautiful, huge Newfoundland. His name is Landseer.

Adrian: Landseer...

Jana: Mm-hmm.

Adrian: After the British artist?

Jana: He painted dogs, you know.

Adrian: Well, thank you, Jana, for your time, uh, and good luck with the surgery.

Jana: You know, you're a peculiar researcher.

Adrian: And what makes you say that?

Jana: You never asked me what Brad's name is.

Adrian: (Chuckles) You know something? You're right. I didn't. Why don't you tell me? 

Jana: Kaplan with a "K." George Kaplan.

Brad: I was wrong.

Colleen: Until next time I do something you don't like?

Brad: Colleen, listen. You have to--

Colleen: You know, the irony is killing me. Here's Phyllis Newman about to go to jail because she pressured you, and here's my boyfriend, who didn't get his dream job because you pressured his new employer.

Brad: That's not the same.

Colleen: Its close enough, Dad. You know what Phyllis did to you? Call it--I don't know. Karma. Divine payback. I call it exactly what you deserve.

Brad: I can apologize to Adrian.

Colleen: Don't bother.

Brad: I saw him earlier. He told me that he'd just gotten back from Europe.

Colleen: Yeah, he's been writing his book about stolen art.

Brad: Let met guess. You're his researcher.

Colleen: Yeah. I'm good at it.

Brad: I urge you to think this through, Honey.

Colleen: It's a huge story, Dad-- enough to not talk about you. I mean, it was in the newspaper, right? If Adrian doesn't write this book, someone else will.

Brad: If he finds out who I really am--

Colleen: I thought you said it wasn't dangerous anymore, Dad. I mean, isn't it safe to admit--

Brad: That's my decision.

Colleen: That's exactly what I said when I wanted to be with Adrian, and what'd you do, huh? You completely cut me off, wouldn't even pay for school.

Brad: That was a mistake.

Colleen: Yeah, it was a mistake. And if that leaves you needing someone else's life to wreck, then wreck hers. Leave me alone. 

Jack: Okay, beautiful. You're gonna read it now.

Sharon: Okay. "Clue-- Noah loves to read this author's books to Summer. He gave this to a cat in one book, to a boy in another." Um, Noah used to read, um, "Goodnight Moon" to Summer, and now it's Dr. Seuss all the time.

Jack: Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! And?

Sharon: Um, okay. Let's see. "He gave this to a cat in one book, to a boy in another." Uh, "The Cat in the Hat"!

Jack: Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Sharon: And, um, Bartholomew what's-his-name. "The 500 Hats of Bartholomew"... (gasps) It's a hat. Excuse me, Sir, um, may I see your hat? (Gasps) Oh, my gosh! I've got it. I rock.

Jack: You do rock.

Sharon: (Giggles)

Jack: (Chuckles) now don't think this full-frontal exposure is going to let you open this anytime sooner than I tell you.

(Cell phone rings)

Jack: Oh, hold on. Oh, Madison.

Sharon: Okay.

Jack: I'll be right back. Senator Abbott.

Brad: Well, looks like you're having fun.

Sharon: Yeah, um, Jack set up this, uh, this fun little treasure hunt for me.

Brad: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I heard. Well, I'm glad you're happy. Have you told your, uh, present husband that you were kissing your former husband? 

Sharon: No, that was a mistake.

Jack: Well, sorry about that.

Sharon: So, um, am I going to actually see this treasure soon?

Jack: You know what they say-- you can't always get what you want.

Nick: I could spot you for a while.

Phyllis: No, it's okay. It's all right. Just close your eyes, Baby. Just close your eyes, Summer. Mama's here. (Whispering) That's right. You should close your eyes.

Nick: Phyllis, you're exhausted.

Phyllis: No, I'm not. I'm fine. Fine.

Phyllis: Nick, there's, um, some formula in the fridge. Could you heat that up?

Nick: You sure?

Phyllis: Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure. Um... until tomorrow, um, she still has me until tomorrow.

Summer: (Cries)

Phyllis: (Whispers) I know. Oh.

Nick: You know I will bring her to see you as often as they'll let me.

Phyllis: Yeah, I know. Listen, I-I-I know you think that you know your daughter, but there are a lot of things you don't know. I know, Baby. Um, like, uh... (Clears throat) She's gonna have to start going on formula, and, um, I sing her to sleep every night. And she's gonna wonder why I left.

Nick: I know I'll never be able to replace you, but I promise you, I will be a good daddy.

Summer: (Cries)

Jana: A CD player.

Kevin: Mm-hmm.

Jana: That is so sweet, but you know I have an mp3 player already. Been listening to The Killers with a great sense of irony.

Kevin: There's an audio book in there I thought you'd enjoy-- "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance."

Jana: Yeah, I've heard of it.

Kevin: Yeah, it's a trip in more ways than one. It's about this dad and his son, and they drive cross-country by motorcycle.

Jana: God, I'd love that.

Kevin: That is so us when you get better. The writer-- he had a lot on his mind. He'd gone mad, actually.

Jana: Did he have a brain tumor?

Kevin: No, but, um, he got sane again, wrote the book and sold, like, a zillion copies.

Jana: A happy ending-- oh, how boring... except in real life.

Kevin: So with the surgery... it's gonna be pretty scary.

Kevin: You know, there's a chance that you could die.

Jana: Well, I'd like to look at it as, um, "She's made a full recovery, and, um, she's now going cross-country on a Harley with her boyfriend" ending.

Kevin: There's also a chance that you could be in a coma... or awake, but unable to think. So I need you to tell me what you'd like for me to do.

Jana: Well, that's a tough one, isn't it?

Kevin: Yeah. Remember that guy whose wife was awake and breathing on her own, but she was basically, um, a food group?

Jana: He wanted to let her die.

Kevin: Yeah. Her parents wanted to keep her alive. So what, was he evil? Or was he just respecting her wishes, like he said he was? That story is what got me thinking about this whole "What's good and what's bad" thing. That's what the book is about.

Jana: Morality is so relative. Some of the things I've done... (Exhales deeply) It's like... it's like being taken over by demons.

Kevin: You were. Look, morality means nothing to me right now. I just... care about what's important to you.

Jana: You know, when it does happen... those demons... I'm not in here... yet every time, I've come back.

Kevin: I don't think that's the same.

Jana: Yeah, but you never know, do you? I mean... people have been through these things, and doctors have always said it's hopeless.

Kevin: But, Jana, in--if there is no higher brain function on an E.E.G.--

Jana: You know, there was this fireman. I read about him. He was in a coma for ten years, and then one day, he woke up, and he talked to his family for 14 hours. These things happen.

Kevin: Yeah, I read about that, too. You know he died afterwards?

Jana: Yeah, but at least he had those 14 hours.

Jana: If... if something does... go wrong during the surgery, and I come out alive... but not I'm not-- I'm not in here... remember I told you this.

Jana: (Whispers) I will come back to you.

Sharon: Okay. "Clue... when he talks he says whatever you want him to say." Hmm. What does that mean?

Jack: I wish I could help you.

Sharon: "Says whatever I want him to say"-- like a parrot?

Jack: I don't see any birds in here.

Sharon: Um... (Gasps) Or... on the computer. If I were writing a novel, it's what one of my characters would say, so it's on the computer.

Jack: Very, very clever, but wrong.

Sharon: Hmm. I'm such a dummy.

Jack: A what?

Sharon: (Giggles) Let me see. (Gasps) Oh, very carefully hidden in the sleeve! I got it! Yay me!

Jack: Yay! Don't start congratulating yourself yet. We're just getting warmed up. Don't open that.

Sharon: Okay.

Jack: Come on, come on.

Logan: Well, you guys have done everything right, you know, including suctioning her nose. If her fever spikes, call my cell, but I'm sure she'll be fine.

Phyllis: Yeah, I'm sure she will.

Nick: Thank you for doing this, Logan.

Logan: No problem. (Whispers) Good night. (Door closes)

Phyllis: Can you hand me the blankie? Thank you. She loves this-- the cow.

Nick: I know.

Phyllis: You know, uh, she doesn't-- she doesn't like to nurse in, um, the morning. It makes her...

Nick: Because it makes her cranky.

Phyllis: Cranky, yeah. She loves music. She loves music, and her favorite song is the "A-B-C song."

Nick: The "A-B-C song," I know, but it's her waking-up song.

Phyllis: Yeah. Um, also if she has a tummy ache, I-I put the vacuum on. It relaxes her.

Nick: And her going-to-sleep song is the, uh, the one about the old bike.

Phyllis: Yeah. Summer, Summer give me your answer do sleep, Summer Mama's in love with you always and forever... oh. I will leave you never.

Phyllis: And you look so sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two can you sing that to her? 

Phyllis: She's zonked out.

Nick: Yeah, we may need to patent that go-to-sleep song. Or maybe she's just humoring you.

Phyllis: She's pretending to sleep?

Nick: Maybe she doesn't want you to know how bad your voice really is.

Phyllis: Oh, really? Really?

Nick: Yeah. I really hope she gets my voice and not yours.

Phyllis: I really hope she gets my video-playing skills, not yours.

Nick: You know, that really hurts. You, uh, you want me to put her in her crib?

Phyllis: No, I think that might wake her up.

Nick: This is so this thing on your ankle doesn't kill you.

(Cell phone ringing)

Logan: Dr. Armstrong.

Brad: Hey, it's Brad.

Logan: Well, hello.

Brad: So how are you spending your evening?

Logan: Mm-mm-mm. What do you have in mind?

Colleen: So what'd you guys talk about?

Adrian: How she hopes, uh, her daughter in England grows up to be just like you.

Colleen: Huh.

Adrian: A-and your father-- that Brad Carlton isn't his real name or something.

Colleen: Really? And what did she say his name was?

Adrian: Kaplan. George Kaplan. Of course, that could be another delusion.

Colleen: No, it's the truth.

Brad: So last time we spoke, you mentioned that you were applying for a position at Memorial.

Logan: Yeah. It didn't work out.

Brad: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, but you know, there are certainly other hospitals in the area. I know some board members. I'd be happy to make a few calls for you.

Logan: That's kind of you, but, um, I already took another job.

Brad: Really?

Logan: Yeah.

Brad: Congratulations. Uh, Bartender, excuse me. Could we have two more, please?

Logan: Actually, you might not want to celebrate.

Brad: What do you mean?

Logan: I'll be practicing medicine in Malawi.

Brad: Malawi?

Logan: Yeah. It's a program called Doctors without Borders.

Brad: Wow. Wow. Bad news for Brad, uh... good news for humanity.

Logan: "And everything that all you people, rich and poor, value so highly and so dearly, hasn't the least influence over me." 

Brad: Shakespeare?

Logan: Chekhov, "The Cherry Orchard."

Brad: I'll miss you... and your elevator claustrophobia. Come back sometime.

Logan: Maybe I will.

Phyllis: Don't forget, um, don't forget to take pictures.

Nick: Maybe you can take your own. There's a chance you won't have to go.

Phyllis: You say that now.

Nick: You know, you've been holding her that way for, like, an hour. I can--I can take her.

Phyllis: No.

Phyllis: Take a lot of video, okay? And always have a camera around, because you never know when the big moment's gonna come. Like the moment that she crawls... or she starts walking. Make sure you have a camera at all times. Okay?

Nick: Okay.

Phyllis: Ah.

Nick: What?

Phyllis: I have a cramp.

Nick: Where?

Phyllis: From my shoulder-- shoulder, shooting down my arm...

Nick: This one?

Phyllis: Under Summer, yeah.

Nick: Right here?

Phyllis: Uh-huh. Thank you.

Nick: You've gotta breathe and relax.

Phyllis: Okay.

Nick: There you go. That feel better?

Phyllis: Yeah. That's good. I'm good.

Nick: You sure?

Phyllis: Uh-huh.

(Breathes deeply)  

Phyllis: Look at me-- unwashed, unbrushed... barf all over me. I'm a mess.

Nick: No, you're not. You're beautiful.

Adrian: Colleen Kaplan?

Colleen: Hey, I still have that alliteration in my name. I grew up Colleen Carlton. I'm going to keep that.

Adrian: I knew something was wrong. Months ago, I meet your grandmother, and then I uncover a death certificate for Brad Carlton's mother.

Colleen: Okay, she's a hero. Adrian, don't mess with that.

Adrian: Of course-- of course not. Kaplan, wow. Her family died in the camps. She survived.

Colleen: By cataloguing stolen art for the S.S. and after the war, she worked to get the stolen art back to its legal owners. I mean, do you know how amazing she is?

Adrian: Yes, I do, but why the name change?

Colleen: Because some people wanted the same art, and if they didn't get it, they would settle for revenge.

Adrian: Revenge, as in...

Colleen: Well, use your imagination. Look, a different identity for her and my dad is what kept them alive.

Adrian: To face death for your identity during the war, and then... and to face it again here... in America...

Colleen: Well, it worked. They survived.

Adrian: This belongs in my book. This story has to be told. Picture it, okay? At the state of the union address when the president points up to the gallery and he says--

Colleen: She says.

Adrian: She says, "I would like to introduce you to a great American"-- that could be your grandmother up there, getting a standing ovation from a joint session of congress. She deserves this.

Colleen: Yes, but she doesn't want the publicity, Adrian. And it's obvious my dad doesn't, either.

Adrian: Okay, but the story has got to be told, if only to make sure it never happens again.

Colleen: And you want to do this. You want to tell it in your book.

Adrian: Look, only-- only if you say so, okay? This is--this is your legacy.

Colleen: You're right. It's not up to my father. It's up to me.

Kevin: (Softly) Jana.

Jana: Who's that? Who's that? You came! My God, how'd you get in here?

Kevin: I brought the night nurse some of Gina's lasagna. Works every time.

Jana: I'm in here, Kevin.

Kevin: I know.

Jana: Did you put the children to bed? (Sighs) Nanny always gives Nigel too many sweets. I've told her to stop, but she just doesn't listen to me.

Kevin: I'll tell her. 

Jack: To my wife-- lovely, amazing, beautiful.

Sharon: How about to us?

Jack: To us.

Sharon: Mmm. You know... we are home, and Noah isn't.

Jack: Yeah.

Sharon: I can think of... a better w for us to spend our time if you would just tell me what that surprise is.

Jack: Well, let's see-- a full-body massage, or another clue... it's a tough one. How about another clue?

Sharon: (Laughs) Oh... "From your favorite mystery board game."

Jack: What would that be?

Sharon: Hmm. I know what it is.

Jack: What?

Sharon: Mm... candlesticks?

Jack: Candlesticks.

Sharon: Oh! Surprise! (Laughs)

Sharon: What is this? (Gasps) two tickets to France.

Jack: To Paris, then Burgundy... a trip down the Nivernais... the whole works-- the honeymoon we never had.

Sharon: This is the most amazing thing.

Jack: Wait a minute. I think there's one more surprise. By golly, there is-- the best for last.

Sharon: It's another plane ticket.

Jack: That one's for Noah. He's had kind of a hard time of it lately. I thought maybe we could turn this honeymoon into a family affair.

Sharon: This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

Jack: I was kind of hoping you might say that.

Jack: There was talk of a full-body massage, um... why don't you bring the champagne bottle?

Sharon: I'm right behind you.

[Sharon remembering]

Jack: Did you lose an earring?

Sharon: I did?

Nick: Oh, uh, actually, I found your earring on the floor of the vault. Sorry.

Sharon: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I-I must have dropped it.

Nick: Yeah, I meant to give it back to you. I just forgot.

Sharon: Thanks. Yeah, I didn't even notice.

Nick: So, all by myself, I broke up our marriage.

Nick: (Sighs) I wish I could, uh... repair the damage... make it up to you. I wish we could go back in time. 

Nick: She is sleeping like a...

Phyllis: Like a baby.

Nick: I was gonna say more like a pro wrestler-- you know, that kick thing she does. How's the arm?

Phyllis: It's better. It's this arm now, but it's better.

Nick: We gotta keep you loose, you know, so you don't cramp up again.

Phyllis: (Sniffles) we used to do this all the time.

Phyllis: We'd open a bottle of wine, and then we'd dance. I wasn't usually wearing baby barf, but... (Laughs)

Nick: So what were you wearing?

Phyllis: Um, usually... nothing.

Nick: Me, too.

Phyllis: Do you remember?

Nick: I'm learning it again for the first time.

Phyllis: Um, tomorrow...

Nick: Mnh-mnh. That's then. This is now. 

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Michael: Kevin, I'm not a miracle worker.

Kevin: If you know anything, anything that can help, you've got to do it.

Kay: Have you honestly asked yourself why Jill isn't with you?

Nick: What's the story with you and David?

Nikki: (Sighs)

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