Y&R Transcript Wednesday 8/8/07

Y&R Transcript Wednesday 8/8/07 -- Canada; Thursday 8/9/07 -- U.S.A.


Provided By Eric
Proofread By Emma

Michael: Relax, relax.

Lauren: Gloria. Gloria, here's some water, Sweetie.

Michael: You fainted. All right, everyone just go stare at someone else and give us some privacy, please. Thank you!

Kay: I'll call an ambulance.

Gloria: No, no, no.

Kay: Are you sure?

Michael: Are you dizzy? Light headed?

Gloria: Oh, no, no.

Michael: Can you--

Gloria: Michael, I'm fine.

Michael: All right, well, can you stand up? Come on, let's try. Give it a try.

Gloria: I think so. I think so.

Michael: There you go. There you go. Whoa! Whoa! I know you look like him, but...

Lauren: You can't be.

Gloria: My husband.

Man: I'm--I'm his brother, Jeff. I'm sorry I frightened you.

Gloria: What brother?

Michael: Well, um, unless this is a horrible experiment gone wrong, it's the twin kind.

Jeff: He, uh... he never mentioned me?

Gloria: I had no idea.

Jeff: Yeah.

Jill: Oh, my mother would not be happy to see us like this.

Ji Min: Well, let's make her apoplectic.

Jill: I didn't say give her a heart attack. Besides which, she wouldn't even know how to download the attachment.

Ji Min: You don't really wanna talk about your mother now, do you?

Jill: You know, she's, uh... cutting me out of her will.

Ji Min: You care?

Jill: It's just irritating. Does that count?

Ji Min: Well... why don't we irritate her a little bit more? You see, she likes to control you with money, right?

Jill: Mm-hmm.

Ji Min: Well, what would drive a person more insane than if you were to amass your own fortune?

Jill: I have money.

Ji Min: Not the kind I'm talking about.

Jill: What, are we gonna rob a bank?

Ji Min: No. But we are gonna start our own company.

Amber: What's the most romantic movie ever made?

Daniel: We're playing categories?

Amber: No, I told you before. It's "Love Story," by that somebody or other Segal guy. He wrote the novel it's based on, too. You think he's still alive?

Daniel: I wouldn't have a clue.

Amber: If he is, I'm gonna kill him.

Daniel: Well, I guess the good news is that with Plum's death, we might already be facing one murder charge, so... what's adding one more to the list, right? I mean, what the hell are you talking about?

Amber: I'm talking about.. that somebody-or-other Segal guy-- he's the one who made me believe that it was possible to fall in love with somebody and just be happy with them forever. And if I had never believed that, I would've never gone to Cane. I would've never thrown myself at him and begged. I mean, I physically got on my knees and I begged him.

Daniel: I'm sorry?

Amber: It just hurts so much.

Woman: What can I get you?

Cane: Hmm? Um... a coldie, please.

Woman: Excuse me?

Cane: I'm sorry, a beer. A beer, please.

Woman: Anyone else joining you?

Cane: Depends. What time do you get off work?

Woman: I'm married.

Cane: My condolences.

Gloria: Why didn't I know about you?

Jeff: Well, you'd have to ask William. Oh, guess that's not an option, huh?

Lauren: How did you find out about the funeral?

Jeff: I didnít.

Kay: Well, then how... I'm--I'm--Michael, I am very confused.

Jeff: Understandable.

Michael: Care to explain?

Jeff: Well, let's see, where to begin? Um, it was a dark and stormy night.

Kay: This is not at all amusing, whoever you are. You scared Williamís widow half to death.

Jeff: William's widow. Oh, that sounds so odd. He's really dead?

Michael: Yes, we've established that. He's dead.

Jeff: Okay, sorry. Short version of a very long story is... I work for a multinational scouting potential acquisitions. I was in Bolivia. I got an e-mail from a cousin telling me that William had had a stroke. I took a llama to the bus, the bus to the train, the train to the plane--

Lauren: Okay, so you were in the middle of nowhere, we get it.

Jeff: William and I... it's been rocky for a very long time. I thought... it might be a good time to try and fix it.

Gloria: Well, it's a little late for that, huh?

Jill: Wow. Beauty and brains.

Ji Min: I was about to say the same thing about you.

Jill: The only thing is, knowing Katherine, I'm sure she has a non-compete clause in our contracts.

Ji Min: Well, funny enough that you should mention that. When I was last at Jabot, I checked.

Jill: And?

Ji Min: None in yours. You know, I don't think she ever thought you would leave.

Jill: What about yours?

Ji Min: I've been working without one since she acquired the company.

Jill: So that's not an issue? What about financing?

Ji Min: Well, since I've been in the country this time, I've been getting calls daily from Korean hedge funds.

Jill: I had no idea.

Ji Min: You don't speak Korean.

Jill: Not yet.

Ji Min: You know, I've even thought of a name.

Jill: What does it mean?

Ji Min: "Forever."

Colleen: Planet hopping?

Lily: Yes. Some place where guys don't exist.

Colleen: Well, procreation may be a challenge. And sooner or later, you're gonna miss the wild thing.

Lily: Oh... I feel old.

Colleen: You are old. You know, when you hit 20, I'm wheeling you into the Happy Acres Senior Center, and I'm running in the other direction.

Lily: No, I'm serious. I feel... I feel pathetic. I feel pathetic and old. I'm 19 and I have already been married and I'm about to be divorced.

Colleen: Well, you know there is a cure for what ails you.

Lily: Do not say another guy.

Colleen: I would never say that. I would say... lots of other guys.

Lily: No. I have zero interest--

Colleen: Just listen to me. Listen to me, listen to me. Okay, what we do is we dress to thrill, we go to Indigo, we flirt shamelessly with anything that zips at the crotch. Mm-hmm. And then, when they ask for our phone numbers, we give them phony ones.

Lily: Um, no, thatís... that's stupid.

Colleen: Exactly! Right, how can you possibly feel old after doing something that juvenile?

Daniel: You know what we need to do, is we need to get over the both of them.

Amber: I can't just switch on and off love, Daniel.

Daniel: Whatever happened to that sweet Ambrosia girl? Now that chick-- that chick was sassy.

Amber: I am wounded! And I'm a felon.

Daniel: Mmm. Allegedly. Allegedly a felon. Hey, look, would it help if I told you how bad I've screwed up my life? Okay, good, I'm glad. Not only am I your co-felon, I have somehow managed to kill my marriage, tank my job. I went on a porn site at work that caused some kind of major security breach. I mean, they couldn't kick my butt outta there fast enough. I mean, hey... hey... look at me, huh? I'm still smiling.

Amber: That's just 'cause you're insane.

Daniel: Maybe. Maybe a little. So... gather ye rosebuds while ye may, because tomorrow we may be locked up in some place where the sun don't shine. Come on, let's get outta here. Let's go do something. Let's go party. Let's show 'em that they can't keep us down. I mean, screw 'em if they can't take a joke.

Amber: Okay. And just where did you wanna go, Mr. Happy?

Daniel: Indigo.

Amber: A little too close to home, don't you think?

Daniel: All the better for our insignificant others and the rest of the world to see what a great time we can have. So are you in? Huh, you in?

[Amber remembering]

Cane: I got a hot date at Indigo. I'm gonna go and get my keys and, uh, when I get back, I want you gone.

Amber: No. I can't go. No, I need to look fantastic.

Amber: I got it!

Amber: Good enough! I'm ready! Let's go.

Jeff: Our parents hated each other. Thermo-nuclear-war level hate.

Kay: And they were divorced?

Gloria: I always wondered why William never wanted to talk about them.

Jeff: It's more like they exploded. The only reason NATO didn't intervene is that they were 3,000 miles apart. When William and I were 5, Mom got William, Dad got me.

Lauren: That's terrible.

Jeff: Yeah, it is. William stayed here. I never stayed anywhere for longer than a year. I was always the new kid. I learned how to say "Good-bye" in ten different languages.

Gloria: Oh. What about school?

Jeff: Dad was a teacher.

Kay: So you're saying that, uh... you and your brother have never spoken since you were children?

Jeff: Well, no. Once we grew up, we did, occasionally. E-mails, birthday cards. It's hard talking to somebody you don't know anymore. Anyway, that's how I learned that he married you.

Gloria: You could've sent a note.

Jeff: We weren't that kind of brothers.

Gloria: Michael, promise me that'll never happen to you and Kevin.

Michael: Too late.

Jeff: He did say this, Gloria, that he met a woman who made life worth living again.

Karen: Okay, so you run Newman Enterprises during the day. You own and manage this club at night. You raise two children. I got one question for you.

Neil: Mmm?

Karen: What do you do with all that free time?

Neil: Free time? What free time?

Karen: Exactly.

Neil: No, you know what it is? I like being busy. It keeps me from spending way too much time up here in my head.

Karen: Ah. I know what you mean.

Neil: And now it looks like I'm gonna have to add kickboxing to that list.

Karen: Oh, yes, you are, just so you can defend yourself, right?

Neil: Girl, watch it. I'm way too competitive to let you get away with that.

Karen: Bring it on.

Neil: All right.

Woman: Excuse me, Mr. Winters?

Neil: Yes, what is it, Angie?

Angie: The bartender went home sick. I called the day guy, but he wasn't home.

Neil: Really? Um, what about Miguel? Is there anyone in the kitchen who can handle it?

Angie: I asked. They're already short-handed.

Neil: Okay, hold on. Excuse me, I'll be right back.

Colleen: Hey!

Cane: Ladies.

Lily: Is Amber with you?

Cane: No, no, no, this is a designated Amber-free zone, so why don't you join me?

Lily: Uh, that's okay. We're just gonna--

Colleen: What she meant to say is, we would love to.

Lily: Um, no, I didnít.

Colleen: Think of him as medicinal.

Cane: I haven't been called that before. What's the ailment?

Colleen: Daniel.

Cane: Oh, in that case, you should definitely join me. Please, sit. Come on.

Lily: Okay.

Gloria: Separated at age 5. That's sad. Do you remember anything from when you and William were together?

Jeff: I do. Why not sit down and have a drink and I'll tell you.

Gloria: Okay.

Kay: Doesn't this strike you as just a bit odd?

Michael: The long-lost identical twin that no one's ever heard of? No. No.

Lauren: Don't tell me you're doubting this. I mean, look at him.

Kay: I don't doubt the relationship. I still think that... excuse me for a moment.

Kay: So where'd you run off to?

Jill: I was having insane sex with my boyfriend.

Kay: Oh, please, you know...

Jill: (Chuckles)

Kay: Don't be funny. This is a wake. Just try and give me a straight answer. What is so amusing?

Jill: Nothing, nothing. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna run home and pack a few things. Oh, excuse me, my former home, because I don't live there anymore. Who is that with Gloria?

Kay: Oh, that's William. He rose from the dead. He's going to take you away from Ji Min.

Jill: That is not funny!

Kay: Well, just wishful dreaming. It's his brother.

Jill: Since when does William have a brother?

Kay: Didn't he tell you?

Jill: Not a word.

Kay: Well, apparently he didn't tell anyone else either.

Jill: Gloria must've been floored.

Kay: Literally. She passed out.

Jill: He's the spitting image of William and Gloria didn't have a clue?

Kay: Well, if Ji Min were 1/3 triplets back in Korea, you wouldn't know a thing about that.

Jill: Save it.

Kay: A mother is always gonna be a mother to her child even when that child is an adult. Especially when you make your irrational decisions, Jill.

Jill: Katherine--

Kay: It's just--

Jill: Katherine. You're taking me out of your will. And actually, that's a good thing. And I'm moving out of the mansion. That's even better. Because maybe now when we see each other, we won't be encumbered by all these complications. With work, too.

Kay: What?

Jill: My fiancť? The triplet? We're forming our own company.

Kay: I beg your pardon?

Jill: To compete with Jabot.

(Cell phone ringing)

Colleen: One second.

Lily: Okay.

Daniel: Well, you look like a million bucks tonight.

Amber: Make that $700,000.

Amber: God, when I said I wanted to be famous, I didn't want it to be for my mug shot.

Daniel: Yeah, well, fame is fame. So use it or lose it, baby.

Amber: Use it. (Gasps) no!

Daniel: What? What's wrong?

Amber: My husband told me he had a date tonight.

Daniel: Are they here?

Amber: Yeah, he didn't tell me who it was with. Now I know why. Because it's your wife.

Karen: Any luck?

Neil: Yeah, I got a sub lined up for the bartender, but he can't get here right away, so I gotta wait.

Karen: Mmm.

Angie: One Manhattan, no cherry and a vodka martini, light on the vermouth.

Neil: I knew you were gonna do that to me. Um, okay, for the martini--

Karen: You know what?

Neil: What?

Karen: This might be your lucky night.

Neil: What are you talking about?

Karen: Out of my way. Okay, here we go. Manhattan-- a Manhattan is all about blending the flavors, right?

Neil: Really?

Karen: Yes.

Neil: Okay.

Karen: There we go.

Neil: Good so far.

Karen: And then we have a vodka martini. Three shots of vodka.

Neil: Mm-hmm.

Karen: Light on the vermouth, as requested. Shaky. That's the fun part. And... with olives, we are just about done and... voila!

Neil: Wow. So you work at Newman.

Karen: Oh, excuse me.

Neil: You kick box by day, you bartend by night. Uh, let me ask you a question.

Karen: Yes.

Neil: Where do you find the free time?

Gloria: Jeffrey, would you like to say a few words about your brother?

Jeff: No.

Gloria: Come on, I know you don't mean that. Please?

Jeff: Okay. Uh, the truth is, I don't know what to say. The last time I saw Will was, uh, about five years ago at a distant cousin's birthday party in Eau Claire. And what I recall of that is... we had nothing to say to each other. He had his life, I had mine. I thought he was afraid to live. He thought I was afraid to grow up. But... if I could, uh... go back to that birthday party, I'd say to my brother... I remember when we were still together and Mom and Dad were fighting that time and, um... he hit her. At least that's what it sounded like, um, from inside the closet. And you told me to stay right there and not to move until you said so. I remember, um... I remember you learned to tie your shoes before I did. You'd always tie mine real fast so that, uh... Dad would think that, um... I already knew how and he wouldn't yell at me. If I could go back, I'd say to you... let's, uh, go somewhere and talk. Just talk. That'd be good. But, um... I didn't do that. So, um... there's not much I can say about my brother, because I never took the time to get to know him. And, um... I'll regret that for the rest of my life.

Lauren: Look at your mother.

Ji Min: Mrs. Chancellor.

Kay: I'll come right to the point. This is not a social visit.

Ji Min: No? Well, I'll forego the room service.

Kay: My daughter tells me that, uh, you have plans to start a new business.

Ji Min: Did she?

Kay: It is a mistake.

Ji Min: Well, I understand why you would feel that way, considering you're losing your top two executives. The ones who brought the Jabot balance sheet from blood red to jet black.

Kay: No, thank you, I don't drink. I'm very familiar with the balance sheets.

Ji Min: Yes, of course you are. But what's worse is, that we'll be your competitors. So if anyone's made a mistake, Katherine, it would seem to be you.

Kay: You are enjoying this.

Ji Min: Moderately.

Kay: Hmm. Well, you know, um... um, changes are made rapidly in business affairs.

Ji Min: Yes, I do know that.

Kay: And you are in over your head.

Ji Min: Am I?

Kay: I can help. And in doing so, I will help my daughter avoid an grievous error in her judgment.

Ji Min: You know, I'm not sure what you're getting at, Katherine.

Kay: You agree to leave Genoa City and never see my daughter again, I'm prepared to write you a check. Now. You just name your price.

Ji Min: $1 million.

Kay: Done.

Ji Min: Come on, Katherine, you can do better than that.

Kay: Well, I'm prepared to double that.

Ji Min: Yes, of course you are. But how do I know that you don't have a recorder in your pocket recording my voice as I take this bald-faced bribe?

Kay: Well, that's just one of the chances you have to take.

Ji Min: And how do you know I don't have one?

Kay: Well, how do you know the sky isn't falling, Chicken Little? The answer is, you donít. All right, Ji Min, how about $2 million? Will that diminish your love for my daughter?

Ji Min: How about $5 million? No, then you would think that I would just take the money and marry Jill anyway. I'll tell you what, what say we split it down the middle? $2.5 million?

Kay: $2.5 million.

Ji Min: Impressive.

Kay: But of course, there are certain conditions, uh, just to insure that you don't, um, fall short of your end of the bargain.

Ji Min: There always are.

Kay: One-- you are through at Jabot.

Ji Min: That's my pleasure.

Kay: Two-- you will leave Genoa City within three weeks, and you will never see my daughter again. And then, you might--

Ji Min: You know, you drive a hard bargain, Katherine. But charming to the last. It's been fun. I suppose I won't see you at work?

Gloria: What you said about William was very moving, Jeffrey.

Jeff: Was it? I thought it was a crock. If I wanted to bond with my brother again, why didn't I just do it?

Gloria: Because you're not perfect? William wasn't perfect. We were complete opposites, you know?

Jeff: I know he loved you very much.

Gloria: Did he tell you that?

Jeff: Mmm. In an e-mail. I remember it made an impression on me because, um, usually our e-mails were the, uh, obligatory "How you doing? Just fine. Merry Christmas," whatever. But in this e-mail, he said that, um, after his first wife's death, he never thought he'd find that kind of happiness again, but he had. That was you, Gloria.

Gloria: Thank you for telling me that. You know, I'd hate to pester you, but if you remember anything else about William, especially when you were children, I'd love to hear it.

Jeff: (Chuckles) I'll tell you everything I can remember.

Gloria: Good.

Karen: All right! Whoa!

Neil: So you got another drink in you?

Karen: In me?

Angie: Table six wants a purple hooter? I told 'em I never heard of it.

Karen: I got it.

Neil: You got it? A purple hooter? You can handle that?

Karen: 1/2 ounce of vodka, raspberry liqueur, cranberry, splash of soda, and a touch of lime.

Neil: Touch of lime? What?

Karen: Yeah.

Neil: That's not the way you make it.

Karen: That's the way I make it.

Neil: Ooh, okay, I'll tell you what. I'll make one, you make one, we'll let the customer decide.

Karen: You're on.

Colleen: I'll see you later.

Lily: Okay, bye.

Colleen: Bye. Bye.

Cane: Bye.

Daniel: He's playing her.

Amber: Or maybe he was playing me and he's really into her. I mean, Lily--sheís... she's elegant and a college student. She's everything I'm not.

Lily: Amber is... hot. Voluptuous. Sheís... everything I'm not.

Cane: She's trash.

Lily: Well, you married her, so what does that say about you?

Cane: Not much. And you married him.

Lily: Right. Oh, I'm just-- I'm so... frustrated. You know, it's like, you marry someone because you get them and--and they get you in a way that nobody else does. But only then, everything just... turns out to be a lie. And everything that you fell in love with is just a stupid illusion that you made up, because you needed to believe it.

Cane: Why are you beating yourself up for something he did?

Lily: I know, I was, wasn't I?

Cane: Look into my eyes.

Lily: Why?

Cane: Because if you look into my eyes the way I'm looking at yours, Daniel will eat his heart out.

Lily: (Giggles) I feel ridiculous.

Cane: You're too pretty to be ridiculous.

Daniel: I take back what I said. She's playing him.

Jill: I'm happy to report that I did not run into Katherine while I was at the house. Did you get any work done?

Ji Min: No. But it doesn't really matter, since your mother fired me.

Jill: What?

Ji Min: It doesn't matter. I was quitting anyway. We're forming our own company.

Jill: So you're not upset?

Ji Min: No, not about that. But wait till you hear the reason why she came by to see me. She offered me a bribe to leave the country and to forget about you forever.

Jill: What did she offer you? A million bucks? $2 million?

Ji Min: Try $5 million.

Jill: Oh, Darling, you should've held out for $10 million. Isn't she just a walking clichť? Bribing the boyfriend? Buying off the boyfriend?

Ji Min: Well, actually, I tore the check up and gave it back to her. I'm sorry if this upsets you.

Jill: It's all right. It's all right. At least she was willing to pay top dollar to screw me over.

Ji Min: Listen, I know how hard it must be.

Jill: Actually, you donít. You cannot possibly imagine what it feels like to be her daughter. Having her try to control every aspect of your life.

Ji Min: Actually, I might have some idea.

Jill: How could you?

Ji Min: You know, when I was a kid, I won second place in an essay writing contest. And you know what my father said?

Jill: What?

Ji Min: He said, it doesn't count unless it's first. So he made me take an extra course to improve.

Jill: Oh, that's just horrible.

Ji Min: Well, not really. But he did enjoy belittling me. And there's no winning with a parent like that.

Jill: Maybe not. Maybe not. But my parent is not gonna get away with it. She's gonna find out exactly what I think of her little bribe.

Lauren: So how long are you planning on staying in town?

Jeff: Well, I'm not sure. Um, I expected to come here and see William. Um, with the stroke and everything, I tied up a lot of loose ends before I left so I could spend time with him. Um... plus, I'm overdue for a very long vacation.

Michael: Well, we're happy to have you.

Gloria: And we hope that you'll stay around for a while.

Jeff: Well, how could I say no to such a lovely woman?

Man: This one tastes like, um, what I've had before.

Karen: Good or bad?

Man: Good. Very.

Neil: I mixed it. I mixed it. I mixed that.

Man: But...

Neil: There's a but?

Karen: Please. Feel free to elaborate.

Man: This one tastes better. How, uh, how did you make this and add the extra zing to it?

Karen: The zing? The zing?

Neil: Yeah, how'd you add the extra zing?

Karen: That's my little secret, but you know what? Chicks rule.

Neil: Oh, show off. That ain't pretty. That's nothing nice. You know that? There wasn't no zing. Be honest.

Daniel: Love stinks.

Amber: I'm working on a plan to get even.

Daniel: You can't get even with someone unless they care, Amber. And from the looks of it, Cane doesn't care and neither does Lily.

Lily: What's this?

Daniel: My keys to the apartment. I am leaving for good. And I won't contest the divorce. I just wanna say that I'm sorry for everything. I know that I put you through a lot. And I know that's not much consolation, but I just had to say it.

Lily: Thank you.

Daniel: So I-I guess we'll just... set up a time that I can come over and get the rest of my things?

Lily: Okay.

Daniel: If--if you don't wanna talk to me and deal with me directly, I understand. Just tell Kevin, he'll make sure that I get the message.

Lily: Fine.

Daniel: If you ever need anything... anything at all, you know where to find me.

Colleen: So I feel terrible. How about you?

Lily: Worse. (Sighs) it's just so sad. I thought that Daniel was... the love of my life.

Colleen: I know.

Amber: Just tell me one thing. Are you really into Lily? You--you are, aren't you?

Cane: I don't have to tell you anything.

Amber: You know what? People make mistakes, Cane. I made a mistake. I don't know why you don't believe me when I tell you how sorry I am.

Cane: Because I don't care anymore.

Amber: You know what? I don't believe that.

Cane: You need to listen to me, okay? I'm not your husband. And I'm definitely not your friend. So if you're smart, you will stay away from me. Because you do not want me as your enemy. You got it?

Neil: Oh, good. The relief bartender just walked in. How you doing, man?

Karen: And here I thought you were gonna offer me the job.

Neil: (Chuckles)

Karen: You know what? I-I really like this place. It's got kind of a funky vibe going on. I like it. I like the decor.

Neil: Yeah?

Karen: You're thinking about her, huh?

Neil: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I, uh, I can't help it. I always think about her, man. And you know, here, at work, with my kids-- she's there, but she's not there, you know?

Karen: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Neil: No, no, no, no, no, don't be sorry. It's--it's not your fault.

Karen: I know it's not my fault. But you know, it's not your fault either. You don't think she'd want you to be having fun again?

Neil: You don't know my wife.

Karen: Neil, she loved you. I'm sure she would want you to be happy.

Jill: How could you?

Kay: He told you?

Jill: Oh, you're a sick woman.

Kay: No, I'm a smart woman. Smart enough to know when a certain man is trying to take advantage of my daughter.

Jill: Do you see me wearing a pinafore? I don't happen to be a 6-year-old child. Do you have any idea how insulting this is to me?

Kay: It must be the sex.

Jill: The sex is great, thanks for asking.

Kay: Well, then for heaven's sakes, just sleep with him. Don't marry him.

Jill: I love him! And he loves me!

Kay: Well, you know, we certainly can't chalk this up to raging hormones at this stage of the game, but oh, Jill, for heaven's sakes, if I let him make--

Jill: Let him?

Kay: The mistake you would be making--

Jill: Who the hell do you think you are?! You can't push and shove and manipulate. Stop trying to force your opinions down my throat!

Kay: Are you quite finished?

Jill: No. 'Cause I am about to shove back. Ji Min and I will be married. And Ji Min and I will start a company. And you wanna talk about push? I will find Phillipís mother.

Kay: I thought we laid that to rest.

Jill: It will never be laid to rest until all of the truth comes out.

Michael: So... have you decided where you're staying?

Jeff: Um, I thought I'd just get a room here at the club.

Gloria: No! Why don't you stay with us? We'd love to have you, wouldn't we?

Lauren: Yeah. Of course.

Michael: No, look, you'd probably be much more comfortable here. There's a great gym. There's a pool on the roof. The food's to die for.

Jeff: They want me to stay with them as much as they want a root canal.

Gloria: Oh!

Jeff: But it was a lovely gesture, thank you. Um, I hope we can see more of each other. I've enjoyed getting to know you.

Gloria: I feel exactly the same way, Jeffrey.

Jeff: Michael, Lauren, it's been a pleasure meeting you.

Michael: Likewise.

Lauren: Thank you.

Michael: I know meeting Jeffrey feels like having a piece of your husband back, but..

Lauren: Really, we know next to nothing about this man.

Michael: I just would like you to exercise a little caution here.

Gloria: A little caution, Michael? I don't trust him as far as I can throw him.

Michael: What?

Lauren: Really? Because you looked pretty--

Gloria: Kiss, kiss, kiss, hug, hug, boo-hoo, sob story, my ass. That bastard's in town for one reason and one reason only, and that's to get my money.

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Lily: I want you to hook me up.

Devon: You want me to hook you up?

Lily: Yes, I wanna date.

Jeff: I spent way too much time in third world jails.

Gloria: Jail?

Nick: Let's talk about the next photo shoot.

Sharon: You and I are not going out of town together.

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