Y&R Transcript Monday 6/4/07

Y&R Transcript Monday 6/4/07 -- Canada; Tuesday 6/5/07 -- USA

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Provided By Eric
Proofread By Emma

J.T.: So what did the doctor say?

[Victoria remembering]

Dr. Okamura: Good news. You're not sick. You're pregnant.

Victoria: There's nothing wrong with me. The doctor says I'm, um, I'm perfectly healthy and I'm normal.

J.T.: Normal?

Victoria: Yeah.

J.T.: Yeah, well, that's debatable, but, uh... healthy? That's good news. No more worrying, all right?

Brad: So let's have dinner tonight and celebrate. Toast my divorce.

Sharon: Is that really something to celebrate?

Brad: Sure. You know, we tried to make it work and it just wasn't meant to be.

Sharon: Well, I envy you for being so certain.

Brad: Sharon, it's wrong to stay in a marriage just because you're not willing to admit that you made a mistake.

Sharon: What did you have in mind for dinner tonight?

Brad: You deserve to be with a person that will be in your thoughts at the end.

Sharon: I never should've told you that.

Brad: But you did. You deserve to be with a person who isn't married to his campaign.

Sharon: Okay, the campaign is temporary and you know it.

Brad: And who didn't have his ex-wife sleep over.

Jack: You know, I'm not saying you're banned from the premises.

Phyllis: You should consult your wife before saying that.

Jack: Hey, Sharon is very sympathetic. She knows you're going through a rough stretch here.

Phyllis: Oh, okay. Good, I'm reassured.

Jack: You gonna be okay at home?

Phyllis: I'm fine. And for the record, you didn't need to tell me that I needed to get my butt out of here.

Jack: Please don't make me the bad guy.

Phyllis: I'm not. I wasn't planning on staying here. I knew this was only temporary. Listen, you know, Summer-- she--she needs her--her room with all her stuffed animals around. And I need a work space. I-I can't work here. I know that.

Jack: You have my number, okay?

Phyllis: What if Sharon answers?

Jack: My cell number.

Phyllis: Yeah. See, the thing is, is, um... it doesn't really matter where I sleep. The nightmare still keeps on coming back, so... anyway, I just-- I-I need to get home. I know that.

David: I have in my hand the latest poll numbers which say that you're six points ahead, Ms. Soon-to-be Senator. That is more than the margin of error.

Nikki: Oh, my God. My God, I could win!

David: No, you will win.

Nikki: Well, it's all thanks to you. I could never have done it without you. Oh, my Lord, I wish Victor were here to see how far a former exotic dancer could go.

Karen: The public thinks you're plenty polished.

David: I think it's about time you start practicing your acceptance speech.

Karen: I agree.

David: Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you Wisconsin's newest state senator-- Ms. Nicole Newman.

Nikki: Oh, my! Okay, uh, well, thank you. Thank you very much. I'd like to thank the voters for this opportunity and for my husband's total lack of support. Proving him wrong was the extra motivation that I needed and I thank him so very much for that. There's also another special person that I am indebted to. Her arrest ruined the chances of my opponent winning and for that, I must thank Phyllis Newman.

Jack: You can call anytime you have a brilliant idea for my campaign, which seems to be all the time.

Phyllis: You know my brilliant ideas don't come that frequently, you just want me to call to make sure I'm not going nuts.

Jack: Does that make me a bad person? (Cell phone ringing)

Jack: Oh, sorry.

Phyllis: Oh, go ahead, answer, I'm fine.

Jack: No, no, no.

Phyllis: No, no, no.

Jack: Hello?

Ben: Hey. The latest numbers are in. We're freefalling, Jack. We gotta do something fast.

Jack: Well, recommend something fast.

Ben: Well, I don't think I have to spell it out for you.

Jack: Time to go negative?

Ben: I prefer to call it creative.

Amber: You could send me a thousand roses if you want. I am not leaving my husband.

Garrett: Does your hubby know that "Extreme Catwalk" wasn't your first foray in reality video?

Amber: You're low.

Garrett: You didn't tell him about the web site you had in L.A.?

Amber: Are you really that dumb? Threats won't persuade me to throw myself into your arms, idiot.

Garrett: Look, if this guy's as good as you say he is, it shouldn't bother him. I know all of your secrets. And they just make me love you more.

Amber: (Whispers) get out of here.

Cane: Hey, Love.

Amber: (Normal voice) hi, Baby.

Cane: Who's this bloke?

Amber: Oh, we just--

Garrett: I'm Garrett-- Amber's cousin.

Cane: Oh, hey, I'm Cane Ashby, uh, Amber's worse half.

Garrett: The whole family was just shocked to hear that Amber got married.

Cane: You didn't tell me your cousin was coming to visit.

Amber: I-I didn't know.

Cane: Are you staying long?

Amber: No, no, he's not staying.

Garrett: I have to stick around, catch up with my Cuz.

Cane: Maybe he and I can hang out. He can tell me all the family secrets.

Nikki: I'd like to build my lead to double digits.

David: I like the attitude.

Karen: We could hammer Jack's connection to his ex-wife.

Nikki: She broke the law for him. It's almost like she wants me to win.

David: But on the other hand, going negative-- you could turn out looking like the bad guy. Why risk that when you're already ahead?

Karen: No, this is a relevant and current event, and it doesn't have to come from our campaign.

David: My philosophy-- when the opposition is imploding, take the high road. It makes Jack look even sleazier.

Nikki: As much as I'd love to trash him, let's hold off for now. Let Jack dig his own grave.

Ben: Jack, we have to alter Nikki's image.

Jack: We already tried that. I took quite a hit for it.

Ben: That won't happen with a phone campaign that won't be traced back to us.

Jack: Explain.

Ben: All right, a recorded message gets called to the voters by computer. The caller sounds serious and friendly, and, uh... the facts are not so nice.

Jack: The facts?

Ben: That's right. We include the facts in the mix. Let the voters decide what is fact and what is not. Fact--Mrs. Newman's wardrobe is unconventional.

Jack: And from the way she dresses, it could be assumed she's against dress codes in high schools.

Ben: That's what I'm talking about.

Jack: Fact-- Nikki used to earn her living as a stripper.

Ben: I'm thinking she supports pole-dancing classes for middle school students.

Noah: Hey, Jack? I need help with my homework.

Jack: I'll be right there, Buddy.

Noah: Okay, Jack.

Jack: Make this happen.

Kevin: Dude, lay off the energy drinks.

Daniel: Coming from the guy who sells 'em for a living?

Kevin: What's got you wired?

Daniel: Lily-- she's being ridiculous.

Kevin: New complaint or an old one?

Daniel: No, she won't talk to me until I go see a therapist. She, uh, thinks I'm a pervert.

Kevin: Well, she certainly knows the real you.

Daniel: Come on, Kevin, everyone looks at porn every once in a while.

Kevin: Well, I think you've looked at more than your fair share, no?

Daniel: I don't think so. And besides, looking at it and watching it-- that's not a perversion.

Kevin: Hey, hey, I didn't say it was. But if you wanna get back together, why don't you just go? You know, it's not gonna hurt anything except your pride, and even if you--

Daniel: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. So I'm too proud if I don't like being called a pervert?

Kevin: And your pride becomes irrelevant when you're talking to a good therapist.

Daniel: What are you, like a lobbyist for some kind of group therapy thing?

Kevin: Whatever. Therapy helped get me through some stuff.

Daniel: Well, I'm not you.

Kevin: Well, I'm tired of hearing about your complaining, so why don't you just suck it up and go?

Daniel: Because I don't have a problem!

Kevin: Oh, right, and that's why you're crashing here?

Daniel: I'm crashing here because Lily's being ridiculous.

Kevin: Oh, okay, okay, so Lily's the one with the problem?

Daniel: She's the one who's freaking out. Maybe she should be the one to go and talk to someone.

Kevin: Yeah, maybe. But, you know, you have nothing to lose. Someone objective who will offer up some really good insight. Besides, if you stick here too much longer, I'm gonna start charging you rent.

(Door closes)

Brad: What are you doing here? I'm gonna pick Abby up from the airport soon.

Victoria: Yeah, I know. Um, I forgot my jewelry.

Brad: Oh, all right. I called an attorney.

Victoria: Already, huh? Yeah, okay, well, um... yeah, I guess we have to do that.

Brad: Yeah, I want it to be as quick and painless as possible. She said we can split everything we earned during the marriage 50/50 and be done with it.

Victoria: Just like that?

Brad: Unless you wanna contest anything.

Victoria: No, no, I just... I... I, um... I thought there'd be more to it, that's all.

Brad: You all right? You look, uh... I don't know, not well.

Victoria: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just absolutely glowing at the thought of my marriage ending. I'll contact my lawyer, too, and I'll have him start the paperwork and finish it. The sooner, the better. You're absolutely right.

Brad: Tell them I won't fight you on anything.

Ben: I need your phone bank today.

Jack: The members of the constitutional convention remembered the abuses of the British government.

Noah: Like letting soldiers go into your house for no reason.

Jack: Like preferring one religion over another or taxation without representation.

Noah: Anything else?

Jack: Well, you tell me. You read the book, right?

Noah: Um... Americans didn't wanna be ruled by a king.

Jack: Excellent. They did not. They still don't. Because? Would you want a king to be in charge of your life?

Noah: No way.

Jack: Why not? A little hint-- you reasons are probably gonna be the same reasons as the American rebels.

Noah: If you win the election, pass a law that makes homework illegal in Wisconsin.

Jack: I will make it my highest legislative priority.

Sharon: Well, I might have to lobby against that.

Jack: Hey!

Noah: Hey, Mom.

Sharon: Because my son knows that that's what makes him the well-rounded individual he is.

Noah: Yeah, right.

Jack: Sorry, Bud, I'm not gonna do anything that upsets your mom.

Noah: Okay, I'm gonna go finish this upstairs.

Jack: Yeah.

Sharon: Hey, give me a hug first.

Ben: Hey, Sharon.

Sharon: Hi.

Jack: Well, Phyllis is gone.

Sharon: Her decision?

Jack: She understood when I explained.

Sharon: You explained?

Jack: That she couldn't stay.

Sharon: How upset was she?

Jack: I'm actually more concerned how upset you were earlier.

Sharon: Well, now that my house is Phyllis-free, it feels like ancient history. You know, Noah's really lucky to have a homework buddy like you.

Jack: Oh, lucky? I love doing it. I wish I was still a student. Hey, are you really okay?

Sharon: Yeah.

Jack: I am sincerely sorry Phyllis was here when you got home. She was quite a mess.

Sharon: Um... like I said, um... it's ancient history. Give a me sec. I have to make a call.

Jack: Yeah, sure.

Sharon: Okay.

Ben: That's exactly what we want it to say. Perfect. Done. The phone bank's ours. We just need to decide what we wanna say.

[Sharon calls Brad]

Sharon: Hi, Brad?

Brad: Hey.

Sharon: Listen, I can't have dinner with you tonight. I have plans with Noah and Jack. Sorry.

(Door slams)

Nick: I've been waiting for you.

Phyllis: I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming.

Nick: How's our little peanut doing? She's getting so big.

Phyllis: You're not here.

Nick: Then where am I?

Phyllis: You're not here. You're in Lake Michigan is where you are.

Nick: That was boring. I was bored. Fish are lousy conversationalists.

Phyllis: You're not real.

Nick: You're still talking to me.

Phyllis: No, I'm not. I'm not talking to you. I can't hear you. I'm not talking to you.

Nick: Phyllis...

Phyllis: No, la la la la. I can't hear you. I can't hear you.

Nick: Phyllis...

Phyllis: La la la la la la. I know I wanted you here! But not like this! I mean, I still want you, I just... I don't--I-I can't be in this home if you're here like this.

Nick: Phyllis...

Phyllis: Oh, my God. Talking to ghosts. I'm talking to ghosts. How sane is that?

Nick: Phyllis...

Phyllis: Mommy is okay. Shh. Shh, Sweetie, Mommy's okay. Mommy's okay.

Nikki: My daughter-in-law's crime will be big news without our help, believe me.

David: Great, we'll talk later.

Karen: All right.

David: The mailer's going out to every registered voter in the district.

Victoria: Hi. Uh, I've got the preliminary construction estimates.

David: Great.

Nikki: Okay.

Karen: We'll go get some coffee. Um, do you guys want anything?

Nikki: No, I'm fine, thank you.

Victoria: No, thank you.

Nikki: Well, they're within the range we expected.

Victoria: Mm-hmm. Just so you know, uh, I think that everything is starting to go your way. Brad wants to split everything 50/50. So that means no bad publicity for your campaign.

Nikki: Well, after everything he put you through, that's the least he can do. It would be different if you owned property together or there were children involved.

Victoria: Yeah, yeah, a baby would definitely complicate things.

Cane: I'm trying to picture you dressed as a giant turkey.

Amber: Please don't.

Garrett: Amber lived for the annual Furnace Creek Thanksgiving pageant. She walked around gobbling the whole month of November.

Cane: Really? Did she ever win?

Garrett: She came close once. She never could outdo the competition.

Cane: Oh, imagine that, eh? A whole community full of better gobblers? This is gonna be my first thanksgiving in a mansion, I might add. Maybe you should put on some of those outfits and, uh, show me some of the moves.

Kevin: Hey, Guys.

Cane: Garrett, Kev. Kev, Garrett. This is, uh, Amber's cousin.

Kevin: Hey, good to meet you.

Cane: Um, Kevin owns the place.

Kevin: Yeah. What are you drinking? On the house.

Garrett: Double espresso.

Kevin: You got it.

Cane: I'm gonna get a refill. Nice to meet you.

Amber: Okay, Baby.

Garrett: So how many rooms are in your husband's mansion? I still need a place to stay.

Amber: Try the Y.

Garrett: Oh, your husband seems like a generous guy. Maybe I'll just go ask him.

Amber: No, don't.

Garrett: Maybe he can set me up with a room right across the hall from you. Still sleep naked?

Victoria: Tomorrow I meet with that consultant from Dinovelli.

Neil: He doesn't take criticism well. Tread softly, Vick.

Victoria: Yeah, all right, thanks for the warning. I'll be Madame diplomat. You know, I wish we could still rely on Nick's opinion.

Neil: Yeah. Amen to that.

Victoria: I could really use his advice right now.

Neil: Vicki, my advice might not be as good, but... at least it's free.

Victoria: It's not a business thing, Neil. You know what? If anyone would understand, you would. (Sighs) I'm, um, I'm divorcing Brad.

Neil: Oh. Well, would it be insensitive if I said congratulations?

Victoria: Neil...

Neil: Okay, all right, I withdraw my congratulations.

Victoria: And I'm pregnant.

Neil: Maybe this is where I'm supposed to say congratulations.

Victoria: You know, I wasn't sure after the miscarriage that I was gonna get a second chance at this.

Neil: Is Brad happy about it?

Victoria: Oh, he doesn't know. He doesn't know. You know and I know and that's the way I want it.

Neil: Yeah, well, this is a secret that tells itself after a while.

Victoria: Yeah, I know. I just--I'm not--

J.T.: Hey. Am I interrupting?

Neil: Um, no, come on in.

J.T.: All right, well, here's the background on the Lang-Joseph subcontractors. It's all good.

Nikki: Don't forget I was married to Jack, so I know all his shortcomings.

Karen: So to speak.

Nikki: I'd like to list them all under his picture in the paper, but it would cost too much in ad space.

David: And I think we've seen enough of his face already, don't you?

Nikki: Yeah, no kidding. I'd rather see anybody else's face. David, I would love to see your face in a campaign poster.

David: Thank you, I think.

Nikki: I just wanna scrawl underneath his picture "Serial womanizer-- take a number."

David: Jack Abbott-- serving the people of his state, literally.

Nikki: Servicing the people.

Karen: Have any embarrassing videos of him to post online?

Nikki: I wish.

David: Thank you. Sore subject. I will forever owe you an apology for releasing that footage of you.

Nikki: Yeah, what was that?

David: I couldn't resist.

Nikki: Well, I'm not embarrassed. In fact, I'd like to see anybody make moves like that. You couldn't do it.

David: Are you kidding? I'd pull every muscle in my body.

Nikki: You just forgot to put the disclaimer-- do not try this at home.

David: Well, all joking aside, I am sorry for that.

Nikki: Hey... it got you to come work for me, so as far as I'm concerned, I came out ahead.

Ben: Okay, Nikki is unfit for office because...

Jack: Because you can't marry your way out of a budget deficit.

Sharon: Or what about that wardrobe, right? I mean, is she running for office or is she trying out for the Pussycat Dolls?

Jack: Wait, was that her on that reality show?

Sharon: Do you watch that?

Jack: Well, I was kind of browsing through the channels--

Sharon: Oh, sure.

Ben: Okay, seriously, her six point lead suggests that the voters care more about the extortion charges against Phyllis.

Sharon: Well, of course they do.

Phyllis: Hey. Oh, you got started without me? Well, what brilliant decisions did you make in my absence? Thank you. Thanks.

Ben: Yeah, sure.

Phyllis: So, um, oh, thank you. Can we base anything on the fact of Victor's very long absence?

Ben: Add that to the fact he doesn't support his wife's campaign. Can we suggest that there is, uh, trouble with the marriage?

Sharon: You know what? I'm not comfortable targeting someone else's marriage.

Jack: Then that is strictly off limits.

Phyllis: All right!

Jack: Thank you very much. We will not have another meeting about this campaign in this house. We will from here on meet elsewhere, okay?

Sharon: Thank you. You have prevented a homicide.

Ben: I don't wanna give up on this stripper angle. There's gotta be a way to bring it back into the public consciousness.

Phyllis: Hmm. Right. Strippers... strippers... strippers... Vegas...

Jack: Vegas--gambling.

Ben: Vegas... prostitution.

Phyllis: Legal prostitution.

Ben: Legalized prostitution.

Jack: Ooh, I think I like this.

Phyllis: Oh, yeah, ex-stripper-- legalized prostitution.

Ben: I'll bet your, uh, your opponent has never taken a public stance against legalized prostitution.

Jack: And if she's never opposed it...

Sharon: Well, then maybe she's in favor of it.

Ben: Ex-stripper...

Phyllis: Favors legalizing prostitution.

Jack: In Wisconsin? Amazing. Go with it, Ben.

Ben: Phyllis?

Phyllis: Yes?

Ben: Share your gift for hitting below the belt.

Sharon: Oh, she's an expert.

Ben: Help me with the copy?

Phyllis: Absolutely!

Sharon: Oh, well, wouldn't you guys be more comfortable working at campaign headquarters?

Ben: It'll only take two minutes.

Jack: Two minutes. Two minutes and your home is all yours forever and ever.

Sharon: I'll believe it when I see it.

Cane: Although rugby's better than what you call football--

(Cell phone ringing)

Amber: Excuse me.

Kevin: Is it the no helmets thing? Because, you know, some of us have brains we'd like to protect.

Daniel: I didn't want cane to see us together.

Amber: Ah, much appreciated.

Daniel: So what's with the urgent text?

Amber: I need you to help me find a place for Plum to stay.

Daniel: Plum? As in, related to apple?

Amber: The guy I used to date in L.A.

Daniel: What's he doing here?

Amber: Well, he saw my shining moment on the "Catwalk" web site and decided he wants me back. He's telling everyone he's my cousin Garrett.

Daniel: That's lame. He knows you're married, right?

Amber: Unfortunately, yes, but he knows stuff about me that I don't want my husband knowing, so...

Daniel: What do you mean? Is he threatening you?

Amber: He's hinting at it.

Daniel: Are you kidding me? Where is the guy? I'll put my foot in--

Amber: Oh, no, no, no, no. Thank you, Honey, but he is not worth it. So for now, I'm just stuck pretending he's my cousin and I need your help to get rid of him.

J.T.: So, uh, any questions about the contents?

Victoria: I, uh, I'll go over the transportation issues after I clear my calendar.

Neil: Transportation issues? What kind of transportation issues does this company have?

Victoria: The part on high speed, high performance--

J.T.: Data delivery that they, uh, upgraded their systems, but, uh... it's not a problem for 'em now.

Neil: Uh-huh. What about overages in this lake county development?

Victoria: Uh, I missed those.

Neil: Yeah? It's page four.

Victoria: Page four.

J.T.: That actually had nothing to do with Lang-Joseph international. It was a legal dispute that shut down construction for six months.

Victoria: Thank you for-- thank you for those, J.T.

J.T.: You're welcome. Take care.

Victoria: All right, see ya.

Neil: Now, was that just good rapport or do you two have a thing or am I not supposed to notice anything?

Victoria: Yeah, J.T. and I do seem to have a rapport.

Neil: I have rapport with quite a few business colleagues, but they don't put that kind of smile on my face.

Victoria: Yeah, we've been spending some time together.

Neil: Oh, okay.

Victoria: He makes me laugh.

Neil: Yeah, does he?

Victoria: Yeah.

Neil: Laughter keeps a person sane.

Victoria: And I am gonna need a sense of humor over the next nine months.

Neil: Well, I am always available for stand-up. You just give me some advance notice I'll go online and pull down some jokes.

Victoria: Thanks, Neil. Listen, I didn't, um... tell you about my pregnancy just to unburden myself. I'd really like to cut back on my workload.

Neil: Really? You know what's really strange? I was just wishing that I had a little bit more work to do around here.

Victoria: Okay. So basically, you'd be in charge of, uh, anything that my father doesn't personally oversee.

Neil: Great, starting when?

Victoria: An hour ago.

Ben: Okay, you arrive home from work, you see your new neighbors moved in next door.

Phyllis: Their names are Misti and Cheyenne.

Ben: Love it! Yes!

Phyllis: And they work at home as hookers, but not the kind that are gonna sell you a rug.

Ben: No, they bring down your property value.

Phyllis: They expose your kids to their lifestyle!

Ben: What if prostitution were legal in Wisconsin? I'd vote for it.

Phyllis: Hey, shh!

Ben: Just to help out the tax base, you know? Sorry, sorry, okay. All right, Mrs. Newman, state senate candidate, lived stripper's lifestyle. What if she's elected?

Phyllis: What if? Mandatory for women to wear boas! Your husbands will be waiting outside the house of, well...

Ben: Let's just say, it's not your basic house of representatives, huh?

Phyllis: Exactly! Exactly!

Ben: Are we subtle or what?

Phyllis: Perfect! Ahh! Ow!

[Phyllis falls]

Jack: Phyllis?!

Phyllis: Oh, my gosh!

Jack: What hurts?

Phyllis: I don't... ow!

Jack: What hurts?

Phyllis: My--my back. My back.

Ben: All right, can you move?

Phyllis: Uh, yeah.

Jack: No, don't try.

Ben: All right, I'll call 911.

Jack: No, no, call Dr. Fabillar.

Phyllis: No, don't call anybody. No, no, no. Let's see if I can move. Ow! Gosh, no! It hurts.

Sharon: Okay, well, just lie still.

Phyllis: Oh, I am, I am.

Jack: Can you move your toes?

Phyllis: Let me see. Yeah.

Jack: That's good.

Phyllis: Okay.

Sharon: You know, I'm gonna take the baby upstairs. Noah will watch her.

Phyllis: Okay, thank you. Oh, my gosh. Thank you, Ben.

Ben: Sure.

Phyllis: Ow!

Nikki: So at the Milwaukee Chamber of Commerce on Thursday...

Karen: Emphasize your support of enterprise zones.

David: Absolutely. And the fact that you're an entrepreneur.

Nikki: I gotta get some water. Anybody want any?

David: Um, I'll get it for you.

Nikki: No, it's okay. I'll get it.

Karen: Stop flirting with the candidate.

David: (Chuckles) so giving advice is what you call flirting?

Karen: You could not be more obvious.

David: I don't flirt with married women.

Karen: You did more than flirt with the press secretary in Columbus, and she was married.

David: She was divorced.

Karen: Yeah, thanks to you. Come on, David, you know that campaign romances don't do any good for anybody.

David: I agree. And you know when I learned that? In Columbus. Nikki and I have a professional and a pers--

Nikki: Okay! Here you go.

David: Thanks.

Victoria: So you're authorized to sign off on all the expenditures I've been approving. Basically, the more responsibilities you take over, the happier I will be.

Neil: Got it. Thanks, Vick.

Victoria: Uh-huh.

Neil: Brad.

Brad: Boss. Take over your responsibilities?

Victoria: Uh-huh, yeah. I'm cutting back on my workload and Neil will be running the company from now on.

Brad: Will he? Doing that to get back at me?

Victoria: Just doing what's best for me and the company.

Brad: And you really think you're being objective right now?

Victoria: Neil is capable of taking over.

Brad: Neil has been on the board for a few months. Your father wanted you and Neil to run the company together.

Victoria: And Neil is taking the lead.

Brad: You're making a mistake.

Victoria: I thought you weren't gonna fight me on anything.

Brad: In our personal lives. This isn't about the divorce. This is business and its bad business.

Victoria: Well, I've made my decision, so deal with it.

Neil: Hey, how you doing? Brad? Kindly ask your secretary to copy me on all your requisitions and quarterly expenses. Uh, in fact, on all your correspondence from now on.

Brad: Would you like to sneak a peek at my income tax return, too? And do I have to ask your permission to use the corporate seats at Buck's games?

Neil: Hey... I don't want you in this corporation, but as long as you're here, I'm gonna treat you professionally, and I expect the same from you.

Brad: Well, I look forward to that, Mr. Winters. It would be a vast improvement over Neil-as-usual.

Neil: Give me a reason to fire you, and I will.

Brad: How professional of you.

Man: Just tell me, does this hurt?

Phyllis: No. No, ow.

Man: What about this leg?

Phyllis: No, no, listen, uh, can we have some privacy, Guys?

Jack: Uh, yeah, I'll go check on the kids.

Ben: You know what? I'm parked out back. Hey, let me know how you do, okay?

Phyllis: Uh-huh.

Ben: All right. I feel sorry for her. She could've joined us by speakerphone.

Sharon: I thought... you asked her to join us here.

Ben: She came on her own. I did tell her to call. Sharon, I don't like her spending so much face time with Jack.

Sharon: Yeah, that makes two of us.

Kevin: Did you call a therapist yet?

Daniel: Not yet, but I'll make sure I get right on that. Hey, Kev, listen, uh, Amber-- she's kind of in a bind. She needs a place for her cousin to crash.

Kevin: Why doesn't she put him up? The Chancellor Mansion's the size of the white house.

Daniel: I don't think she likes him very much.

Kevin: I was just with them. They got on real well.

Daniel: Yeah, well, I think that's all an act. I don't think she wants him around cane's family.

Kevin: Oh, so I'm supposed to put up with someone that she can't stand?

Daniel: But he's a nice enough guy. I just think that it's something personal between the two of them.

Kevin: All right, I guess he can crash in the spare room.

Daniel: That-a boy! Thanks, Man, you're saving her butt.

Kevin: Yeah. Oh, good. She can send me a picture of it as a thank you.

Daniel: Ha ha ha ha ha.

Kevin: I'm kidding. Come on.

Amber: Hello?

Daniel: Hey, it's me. Listen, Kevin said that it's cool if your cousin crashes over here.

Kevin: Not forever.

Daniel: Uh, not forever, though.

Amber: You are my hero.

Man: Thank you.

Jack: Well, Noah is becoming quite the babysitter.

Phyllis: Oh, thanks, Noah.

Noah: Well, it's not really babysitting. I just like playing with her.

Jack: Well, she loves playing with her brother, too. He tired her out. She's fast asleep.

Phyllis: Oh.

Noah: How's your back?

Phyllis: I've been better.

Noah: Guess what?

Phyllis: What?

Noah: The puppy has a new name. It was Summer's idea.

Phyllis: Oh, what did she suggest?

Jack: So what is the verdict, Doctor?

Noah: Fisher.

Man: Well, we can't rule out a bruised disk or a vertebra, but it's unlikely.

Sharon: So what's the prognosis?

Phyllis: Oh, I like that-- Fisher.

Man: Well, because it's... anything from muscle spasm to a pinched nerve, she's gonna need a few days of bed rest. Now, Phyllis, the less you move, the quicker you're gonna heal.

Jack: Doctor, can you give her anything for the pain?

Phyllis: Oh, you know, Doctor, I'm breastfeeding. I don't wanna take drugs.

Man: Well, don't worry. I'll prescribe a nice mild muscle relaxant that'll be perfectly safe for you and the baby. Now in a couple of days, when you're feeling better, we'll do an MRI to make sure there's no skeletal or nerve damage.

Phyllis: All right, thank you. Listen, Jack? Do you think you could drive me home? I don't wanna drive.

Man: Well, I would not recommend getting in any car at all right now. And when you can drive home, you're gonna have to get someone to help you with that baby. I do not want you lifting her at all. Is there any way that she could stay here temporarily?

Noah: Mom, Phyllis can stay here, can't she?

Sharon: What? I'm sorry, I was distracted. Um... yeah, of course Phyllis can stay here.

Noah: Awesome!

Sharon: Well, you have to stay in your condition, right, Phyllis?

Phyllis: Well, listen, I'm gonna get better soon. I'll get out of here.

Noah: I'll get Fisher to come visit.

Phyllis: Thank you.

Sharon: Just get better.

Jack: As long as he didn't name the puppy after Gloria and her brood, I guess I'm fine with Fisher. Here's some water.

Phyllis: Thank you. You know, you should be working, not nursing me.

Jack: You don't have to play the martyr.

Sharon: You know what? I'm going to go out and get your prescription for you.

Phyllis: Oh, thank you, Sharon. You know, my pharmacy delivers.

Sharon: I'd like to run some other errands anyway.

Jack: Excuse me.

Jack: Hey. That was incredibly generous of you. I would never ask you to do that.

Sharon: Well, what can we do? She can't move, right?

Jack: If it weren't for the baby--

Sharon: You know what? Listen, no, you're preaching to the choir. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go out and get one of those greeting cards. You know, those one that say, "Get well soon"?

Jack: Yeah.

Sharon: Well, I'm gonna get one that says, "Get well really, really, really soon."

Nikki: Hobbies? I play the piano.

David: Really? I'd love a private concert someday.

Nikki: I'll perform at my victory party.

Karen: We are getting bombarded by phone calls from our supporters who apparently have been receiving pre-recorded messages implying that Nikki is supporting legalizing prostitution.

Nikki: What?!

Karen: They're connecting it to your exotic dancing.

Nikki: Oh, this is Jack!

David: Which means they're blanketing the district.

Nikki: It is definitely Jack!

Karen: It's allegedly sponsored by a PAC that I can find no record of.

David: That doesn't matter. We're never gonna prove it's from him.

Nikki: You know what? I have had it with him. Forget the high road. The high road is closed. Throw enough mud to wipe that sick smile off of his arrogant face.

Amber: Uh, this is my friend, Daniel. He can show you around.

Plum: A friend of my cousin's is a friend of mine.

Daniel: Family is family, right?

Kevin: The, uh, spare room is yours and there's extra blankets in the closet.

Plum: Thanks, man. You know, I really appreciate this.

Kevin: Sure.

Plum: Maybe next time I could stay at your digs.

Amber: I gotta go.

Plum: Right. Can't have the man of the house getting lonely.

Amber: Stay outta trouble.

Victoria: I cannot believe you got tickets to the NASCAR race in Michigan. What if Neil had seen these?

J.T.: Well, he'd probably wanna come with us-- noise, speed, beer. Is there a better way to celebrate your independence?

Victoria: I did, um, I did tell him about the divorce.

J.T.: What? Why'd you let me get caught making up all that stuff about high speed data transfer or whatever the hell that was?

Victoria: Because you look cute. You're cute when you're flustered.

J.T.: Okay. So we on?

Victoria: I have to pick up my stuff from Brad's before Abby gets here.

J.T.: Where you gonna stay?

Victoria: Um... my mom's.

J.T.: No. Move in with me.

Sharon: Well, this is early for you.

Brad: Ah. Yeah, lousy day at work. So you decided to meet me?

Sharon: Well, I couldn't stand another minute in the house with Phyllis. I had to get out of there.

Brad: I thought she left.

Sharon: She, um, injured her spine in our living room and she's there now.

Brad: Oh. And Jack asked her to stay.

Sharon: I did. I had to.

Brad: When did you become a masochist?

Sharon: Well, she's got a baby and she's practically paralyzed, I guess. Trust me, if she makes one move on Jack, it's over.

Brad: I say let her have him.

Sharon: Not gonna happen.

Brad: Well, you're either very confident or very foolish.

Sharon: Well, if I let her convalesce there, that makes me the bigger person.

Brad: You think Jack sees it that way?

Sharon: He better, because it's a performance for his sake. Jack is really good to my son and that means everything. Noah needs a good father.

Brad: What do you need, Sharon?

Sharon: I need Jack. We're meant to be together. End of story. I'm sorry.

Phyllis: Listen, you and Sharon are earning major--what do they call that-- karma points for this.

Jack: Well, that would be a first for me.

Phyllis: I'm sorry to have done this to you.

Jack: Hey, this was an accident. Can I get you a blanket?

Phyllis: Sure. Do you still have that one with the green stripes?

Jack: You have an amazing memory. I'll be right back.

Phyllis: Okay.

Jack: You're gonna owe me for this. When you're all better, you'll be ironing my socks.

[When Jack goes up the stairs Phyllis sits up and gets her water on the coffee table, takes a drink and lays back down on the couch]

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Victoria: I want you to resign from the Newman board of directors.

David: Well, I did make a video for an emergency like this.

Nikki: Fine, let's fight fire with fire.

Jack: They found some wreckage from the Newman jet.

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