Y&R Transcript Friday 6/1/07

Y&R Transcript Friday 6/1/07 -- Canada; Monday 6/4/07 -- U.S.A.

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Provided By Eric & Amanda
Proofread By Emma

Noah: I can't find my homework anywhere.

Phyllis: Oh.

Jack: Kitchen table.

Noah: Ah, thanks.

Jack: So? How'd you sleep?

Phyllis: Sleep? What's sleep?

Jack: I take it you didn't sleep so well.

Summer: (Fusses)

Jack: I got it. I got you. I got you. Hello. Hello. Good morning, Beautiful.

Phyllis: Oh, yeah, between the baby and my nightmares, sleep is a distant memory. But it looks like you slept well, judging from your appearance.

Jack: Well, I'm just happy having the house full. It hasn't been full since Dad died and it's--it's nice to have family around.

Phyllis: If you consider a woman who's not your wife, and a baby who's not your daughter, family, thank you very much. Although, the crowd will thin out considerably when I'm carted off to jail.

Brad: Could you pass the butter, please?

(Cell phone ringing)

Victoria: Now's not really a good time.

J.T.: Just tell me how Brad took the news. Are you still going through with the divorce?

Victoria: Um. Ahem. I'll call you later, all right? Bye.

Brad: It's a little early for your boyfriend to be calling, don't you think?

Victoria: It's really none of your business.

Brad: Hope he has a lot of room at his place.

Victoria: Why?

Brad: Because I want you moved out of here by this afternoon.

Gloria: And I think I'll have a mimosa with that special, because you're only on your honeymoon once, right? Right, Honey?

Will: Mmm. I'll have a cup of coffee, please.

Gloria: Now, William, I was thinking that we could have a really nice reception at the Colonnade room. Now I'll start working on the guest list, and as far as the decorations are concerned...

[William remembering how Gloria did the disappearing act like Evan with the test tubes]

Gloria: Everything you need to know is right there?

Gloria: A nice, light summery dish, like, um... crab stuffed prawns for the entree. What do you think?

Will: Um, sounds good to me.

Devon: Here is your favorite cereal.

Lily: I'm not hungry.

Devon: Come on, Lily, you have to eat sooner or later.

Lily: Devon, I can't eat. I feel sick.

(Cell phone ringing)

Lily: Who is it?

Devon: Who do you think it is? It's your husband.

Lily: Just let it ring.

Devon: Lily, we know that he's a jerk, okay? But will you please answer it already? 'Cause he's been driving me insane. He's calling nonstop.

Lily: There. Problem solved.

Daniel: Please call me back. We need to talk about this, okay? Look, I swear to you I don't know who that was in the picture on my phone. I just wanna put all this behind us. I love you, okay? Call me back. I just wish she would pick up her phone and let me explain.

Kevin: Better get used to my couch, Buddy. You're gonna be there a while.

Daniel: Thanks. (Cell phone ringing)

Daniel: Lily?

Phyllis: It's me. Sorry to disappoint you.

Daniel: Mom, hey.

Phyllis: I guess you haven't made up yet.

Daniel: She won't take my calls. She won't talk to me. She wants nothing to do with me. I've tried everything.

Phyllis: You got time for a cup of coffee, before your first class?

Daniel: Well, I got some time now. I'm at Crimson Lights.

Phyllis: Great. I'll see you soon.

Noah: I cannot find my other shoe.

Jack: Um, have you looked under your bed?

Noah: Yeah, I did. I bet Summer stole it.

Phyllis: Oh, she's tricky like that.

Noah: Yeah, I know. You have to watch her or she takes everything and hides it.

Jack: I'm telling you, my wallet was missing last night.

Phyllis: Oh, wait a second! Wait a second! Ta da! Ta da!

Noah: Oh, awesome! Thanks!

Phyllis: Sure.

Jack: Sharon. I didn't expect to see you so soon.

Sharon: Surprise.

Jack: There you are. So? How was your trip?

Sharon: It was good. It's, um, it's a little early to start the work day, isn't it? Um, I mean, I want Jack to win the election, too, but...

Jack: In fact, Phyllis--

Phyllis: Actually--

Noah: Wait, Mom. What did the digital clock say to his mother?

Sharon: Um, I don't know, what did it say?

Noah: Look, Ma, no hands!

Sharon: Oh, very good!

Noah: Phyllis taught me last night.

Phyllis: Yeah.

Sharon: Thanks, Phyllis, that's hysterical.

Noah: I wasn't sure if I could remember it, 'cause she told me right at bedtime.

Sharon: Oh, well, no worries, because you know what? You told it perfectly.

Jack: In truth, Phyllis and Summer couldn't stay at home, so...

Phyllis: It was a very difficult night for me.

Jack: And the guest room was empty.

Sharon: That sounds like a fun sleepover.

Noah: It was.

Victoria: Okay, then, all right, um... I'll be back for the rest of my things later this afternoon.

Brad: No need. I'll ship them.

Victoria: What is the big hurry?

Brad: I see no reason to prolong things.

Victoria: Okay, but still, I mean... I mean, everything is happening so fast.

Brad: Well, it needs to. Abby's moving back in for a while.

Victoria: Oh, I see. So you don't want me to be here when that happens.

Brad: It's bad enough she's having to endure a second divorce. I don't want her witnessing your moving out.

Victoria: Yeah, I understand.

Lauren: Okay.

Amber: Is Lily here yet?

Lauren: No.

Amber: I hope she's not mad I'm covering Melissa's shift.

Lauren: Amber, I will send you home right now if the two of you can't work together.

Amber: I-I need the money.

Lauren: You're sure you can do this?

Amber: Yes, yes, I will just stay out of her way.

Lauren: Okay. As long as the two of you can work it out.

Amber: Yeah, she hates me, but I'll make it work.

Lauren: Well, hey, at least the thing was taken off the internet.

Amber: After the entire world saw it. You know, I can't go anywhere without somebody judging me or staring me down. I can't even defend myself.

Lauren: Well, this is America. You are guilty until proven innocent. Especially when the internet is involved.

Amber: Yeah. I just hope none of the customers say anything to me about it.

Lauren: Well, if they do, you come to me and I will take care of it, all right?

Amber: Thank you.

Lauren: Absolutely.

Man: Amber. I thought I'd find you here.

Amber: Uh, um, Lauren, this is...

Man: Garrett-- Amber's cousin.

Lauren: Oh. Your cousin, huh?

Kevin: And how are the newlyweds?

Will: Very well, thank you. (Cell phone ringing)

Will: Oh, God, I'm sorry. I gotta take this.

Gloria: Okay. Kevin, sit down. Join us.

Kevin: For you.

Gloria: Well, thank you, Honey, but that wasn't necessary.

Kevin: Well, you know...

Gloria: You didn't have to do that. Let's see what it is. Surprise, surprise! Oh, thank you.

Kevin: Got it?

Gloria: Ooh! Lord, you did a good job packing this.

Kevin: Thank you. The lady at the store did a good job.

Gloria: Oh, my, my, my... that's lovely.

Kevin: Oh, your time is a-tickin'. Don't get caught.

Gloria: That's not funny.

Kevin: Well, it's the best I could do on short notice.

Will: Ah, I'm sorry, that was the office. I've gotta go in.

Gloria: William, we're on our honeymoon.

Will: I know. It won't take long. I'll be back before you know it.

Gloria: Okay. Hurry back.

Will: I will. Bye.

Kevin: Well, you know, technically, this gift is more for William.

Gloria: Oh, yeah? How's that?

Kevin: Well, because I already gave you a wedding gift-- the D.N.A. kit, remember?

Gloria: Mm-hmm. The timeliest gift I ever received.

Will: Uh-huh. Yeah, I should be there in a few minutes. That's right. I wanna examine all the D.N.A. samples.

Sharon: Did you do all your homework?

Noah: Yep.

Sharon: Did you do the math?

Noah: Yeah.

Sharon: Even the hard ones?

Noah: Yeah, Mom. Phyllis helped.

Sharon: Oh, well, I hope that you thanked her.

Phyllis: Oh, he did. He's very, very smart, by the way.

Sharon: Yeah, I know.

Phyllis: Hey, uh, Noah, we should go. We're gonna be late.

Jack: Are you still all right with taking him?

Phyllis: Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's what Stepmom's are for. Let's go.

Sharon: Okay, well, I'll pick you up this afternoon.

Noah: Okay, bye, Mom.

Sharon: Bye.

Phyllis: Bye-bye.

Jack: Bye.

Phyllis: Thanks again. There we go.

Noah: Bye, Jack.

Jack: See ya, Buddy.

Sharon: Well, I'm sure there's a--there's an interesting explanation as to why your ex-wife spent the night.

Jack: You bet.

Sharon: And I'm sure it starts with why you didn't mention that to me when you called to say good night.

Jack: Hey, I wasn't trying to hide anything.

Sharon: Oh, okay, well, isn't not telling me on the phone hiding it?

Jack: Would you have slept last night if before I hung up I said to you, "Sharon, good night. I love you. Oh, and by the way, Phyllis is having nightmares about the husband she lost and can't sleep in the house."

Sharon: Yes, I would have if she'd checked into a hotel.

Jack: It was an emergency. She was out there going crazy. She had only Summer to talk to. She just needed a friend around to calm down. Look, I know how you feel about her. And I respect that, I do. It's just, I couldn't turn my back on her and the baby. I realize I handled this bad in not telling you first.

Sharon: Okay. Well, um... thank God there were no reporters in the front yard.

Jack: I'm not sure where you're going with that.

Sharon: Jack, not wanting her in my house isn't just a personal thing. Well, it is personal, insofar as she is not my favorite person in the world and for good reason. But, hey, you know, she's--she's your friend. I can understand that and I can understand wanting to help a friend. But let me just ask you this, do you have any idea how this might look to the reporters and the bloggers-- having your ex-wife spend the night in your home, while your current wife is away? Your ex-wife, who is facing an indictment for extortion. Can you spell bad P.R.?

Jack: It was a one-time thing. It is over. It's not gonna be public.

Sharon: Everything is public with candidates for office-- that's why they call them public figures.

Jack: I couldn't think of anything else to do at the time. Look, it's done. It's over. It won't happen again. Honey, this is your home. I want you to know you have veto power over guests. Okay?

Sharon: Okay. Thank you.

Daniel: How are you doing?

Phyllis: Oh... I am hanging on so tight, my knuckles are turning white.

Daniel: I know the feeling.

Phyllis: Yeah. Listen, um... is, uh, anything of what Lily said on that video true?

Daniel: Mom, Amber is just a friend of mine.

Phyllis: That's not what I asked you.

Daniel: Okay, I don't know, it could've been Amber. I don't know if it is or not.

Phyllis: Okay, um... listen, Jack said that, uh, you looked at, uh, a porn site from work. Jack said that you did that.

Daniel: Yeah, Mom, it wasn't me, okay? Okay, I left myself logged on to a computer and some guy probably came along and went looking at all these porn sites up while I wasn't there.

Phyllis: Okay. That--that's--that's... all right.

Daniel: Listen, um, Mom... I'm not gonna lie to you, okay? I look at porn sites occasionally. It's not--it's not a big deal. Hey, it's not a big deal to me, okay?

Phyllis: Uh-huh.

Daniel: I mean, I could take it or leave it, but Lily--she hates it, so... I've stopped. But... I'm not cheating on her. I never have cheated on her. What good does that do me? She won't even talk to me. And when she does talk to me, she's not gonna believe me.

Amber: Morning. Or not.

Lily: Hi, Lauren. Um, I'm sorry I'm running late today. I'll make it up by staying later, okay?

Lauren: Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Um, but are you gonna be okay working with Amber?

Lily: No, but I'll be fine.

Lauren: I just don't want any incidents, okay?

Lily: I can be professional.

Lauren: Good, thank you.

Amber: I am so not in the mood for you to be here.

Garrett: Too bad. I'm not leaving.

Amber: Whatever. Look, why'd you tell my boss that you were my cousin?

Garrett: Because I had to.

Amber: Okay, if you're here for money--

Garrett: I'm not.

Amber: Good. Because I don't have any. I barely make ends meet.

Garrett: I can lend you some.

Amber: No, no, just tell me why you're here.

Garrett: For you. I want you back.

Victoria: Hi, uh, yes, I need a room. Um, Victoria Newman. For one night. Oh, great, okay, thank you. Hi.

J.T.: Hey.

Victoria: What's that?

J.T.: Well, that is my excuse to come see you.

Victoria: Well, you don't need an excuse.

J.T.: Well, I didn't wanna feed the office gossip mill. You know how it is.

Victoria: Oh, yeah, that. Good point.

J.T.: So, uh, you never told me. How'd Brad take the news?

Victoria: Um, pretty well, you know. Yeah, he, um, he threw me out.

J.T.: Wow. Well, I, uh, can't say I'm sorry to hear that. So, my place tonight?

Victoria: Actually, I'm booked elsewhere.

J.T.: What? Who is he? I'll kill him.

Victoria: It's the receptionist at the club. It's pretty serious stuff.

J.T.: Well, listen, if that falls through... you know where to find me and I mean that.

Victoria: Thank you.

Nikki: Ahem. Excuse me. I wanted to give you these figures.

Victoria: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

J.T.: Well, I was, uh, just on my way out. Good to see you again, Mrs. Newman.

Nikki: Mm-hmm.

Victoria: I can feel you staring at me.

Nikki: I didn't say anything.

Victoria: You thought it.

Nikki: You don't know what I'm thinking.

Victoria: I happen to be fluent in mom looks. So to answer your unspoken questions, yes, I'm divorcing Brad. Yes, I'm moving out. Yes. J.T. and I are friends who share an occasional hug. And, no, I don't wanna talk about it.

Nikki: Well... you know what? This is probably best for you.

Victoria: Really? Is that what you had in mind when you forced Brad to go to the D.A.?

Nikki: Oh, Honey, that was business.

Victoria: And how it affects my personal life-- is that business?

Nikki: Look, I understand that you might be upset about that, but you have to use a little discretion in the office.

Victoria: Mom, we were hugging.

Nikki: And you are still married. And I have a campaign going.

Victoria: Oh, of course, I'm sorry for upsetting you. Clearly, you're the one that is going through a lot right now.

Nikki: I'm just saying that you have to be more careful.

Victoria: Everything always comes back to you, doesn't it?

Gloria: And I think that just about covers the guest list.

Kevin: Mom, aren't these kinds of parties supposed to be planned before the wedding?

Gloria: You heard William. He didn't wanna wait.

Kevin: Yeah, he was probably worried he'd change his mind.

Gloria: Kevin...

Kevin: Well, congratulations, Ms. Moneybags. I should learn not to doubt you.

Gloria: Yes, you should.

Kevin: You set your sights on a rich man and you snagged him.

Gloria: Oh, stop it. This stopped being about money a long time ago. I love William Bardwell.

Kevin: Oh, I thought you were in love with Benjamin, as in, Franklin.

Gloria: He hasn't given me access to his accounts yet.

Kevin: Well, if he's smart, he never will.

Gloria: That reminds me, I do need a little, itty, bitty loan.

Kevin: Leave it to my mother to marry a billionaire and still hit up her son for cash. Why don't you just ask your husband?

Gloria: Because he won't wanna pay for this.

Kevin: Do I wanna know what this is for?

Gloria: Nope.

Kevin: How much do you need?

Gloria: A few hundred should do it.

Kevin: Well, I'm about $200 short.

Gloria: I'll take a check.

Kevin: Tell me what it's for.

Gloria: Evan.

Kevin: You were right, I didn't wanna know.

Gloria: Kevin, please.

Kevin: Sorry, Mom, Bank of Kevin is closed.

Gloria: Honey, I will pay you back.

Kevin: Mom, when are you gonna learn? Guys like this-- they're all the same. They will always come back for more. Do you remember how this worked out last time?

Gloria: This is different. It is for services rendered.

Kevin: Right. Oh, good, well, I'm glad you got it all figured out, because here he comes.

Evan: Glo!

Gloria: Hi.

Evan: Hey, nice to see you again. Kevin.

Kevin: Hi.

Evan: Excuse me a moment.

Lauren: Uh, Amber? We could really use you on the floor now.

Amber: Sure, sure. Sorry, Cuz, duty calls. I guess you better hit it.

Garrett: Uh, let's hook up later. I saw this coffee shop on Hyde Park--

Amber: Mmm, okay, whatever.

Garrett: I'll call you.

Amber: I'll make sure to keep my phone off.

Amber: Oh, can I help you?

Woman: Uh, I was just looking for a dress for an office party.

Amber: Oh, well, we just got a whole new line of cocktail dresses--

Woman: Excuse me, aren't you that girl from the internet? That "Extreme Catwalk?" That was sick.

Amber: That wasn't me.

Lauren: You know, you know, I think I can help you here. You're about a size 2, right?

Woman: Yeah, I was looking for something sexy.

Lauren: Great. Well, sexy is right here.

Amber: Okay, I know you hate me.

Lily: No, really?

Amber: For no reason.

Lily: Yeah, that's what you think.

Amber: Look, I-I never sent any kind of--

Lily: Don't start with that again, okay?

Lauren: You know what? You guys are talking about work, right?

Amber: I was just telling Lily how hot she would look in the new jeans.

Lauren: Mm-hmm.

Lily: You know, Lauren, it's too bad we don't carry muzzles.

Lauren: You know what we do carry? We carry necklaces. In fact, we carry lots of them and they're all in boxes in the back. And one of you is gonna unpack them. Which one?

Lily: I'll go.

Lauren: Great. Okay.

Lily: You know something funny, Amber, is that every problem I've had with my husband all leads back to one source-- you.

Phyllis: Oh, hey, listen, I am so sorry if I created trouble between you and Sharon. I was so wrapped up in my own problems, I didn't know what that would look like in front of her.

Jack: When I explained why you spent the night, she understood.

Phyllis: Oh, wow. That's great. She's definitely more understanding than I would've been. It's very, very admirable.

Jack: Yes, it was. And, yes, she is.

Nikki: Yes, in fact, I'll be detailing my proposals for the health care program when I meet with the aurora P.T.A. next week. Well, yes, I hope you can come, too. All right, you can pick up a copy at the campaign office. Bye-bye.

Victoria: So I'm just wondering if, um, if you have any other issues with my personal life? Because I wouldn't wanna step on your campaign any more than I already have.

Nikki: What are you talking about? We are Newmans. There is a lot of interest in our family.

Victoria: Uh-huh. Yeah, thanks to your campaign.

Nikki: No, no, not because of my campaign. This has been going on since before you were born. But speaking of my campaign, you used to be my greatest supporter. What happened?

Victoria: I was. I was, until you sent my husband-- I'm sorry, he's not my husband-- my soon-to-be-ex-husband to court.

Nikki: That's-- that's a completely different situation. Why are you making things so difficult?

Victoria: Mom, I-- ow!

Nikki: What? What's wrong?

Victoria: Ow!

Nikki: What's wrong?

Victoria: I'm--I'm okay.

Nikki: Honey, sit down. Sit down.

Victoria: No, I'm okay, Mom.

Nikki: Victoria, just sit. Here's some water. Here.

Victoria: I'm fine.

Nikki: Take a sip of water.  

Gloria: I need that money.

Kevin: No.

Gloria: Fine. I only gave you life.

Kevin: Oh. Fine. Fine.

Gloria: And I will pay you back.

Kevin: Oh, yeah, I'm not gonna hold my breath.

Gloria: Thank you.

Kevin: Well, I have to go. It's time for work.

Gloria: No, no, no, don't leave me alone, please.

Kevin: Uh, I'm leaving you alone.

Evan: Well... I'm glad your son left. I've got some financing issues to discuss. Mainly you financing my boat.

Gloria: I gave you everything I have.

Evan: Ask your hubby for more.

Gloria: You don't get married one day and ask for bags of money the next. Marriage doesn't work like that, Evan.

Evan: And tell me, what would your prince William say if I told him you switched the D.N.A. sample?

Gloria: What are you talking about?

Evan: I watched you in the tent that day. You performed my trick pretty well. You're a fast learner, Gloria.

Gloria: I don't know what you think you saw. You're wrong.

Evan: Well, if I am, no harm done, but... maybe I could tell your husband about my theory, just to be sure.

Gloria: I don't think the D.A. would like somebody making threats to his wife.

Evan: I'm willing to take my chances. But to be fair, you do make a point.

Will: A point about what?

Evan: That... now that you and Gloria are married, I guess I don't have a chance anymore. And I wanted to be the first to congratulate you.

Phyllis: Hey, Lily, how's work?

Lily: Um, Lauren's at lunch.

Phyllis: Yeah, I know, I came to see you. Summer wanted to see you.

Lily: If you're here to talk about Daniel, then I don't--

Phyllis: Uh, listen, he's just-- he's not doing well over this.

Lily: Well, he should've thought about that before he let Amber send him that nasty picture.

Phyllis: Well, he said it wasn't her.

Lily: Listen, Phyllis, you're the last person I wanna talk to about this, okay?

Phyllis: Lily, he's your husband. Don't you wanna give him the benefit of the doubt?

Lily: Did he send you here?

Phyllis: No, he didn't. In fact, he'd kill me if he knew I was here.

Lily: You know what? You're probably right, so you should go, because I have to work.

Phyllis: Listen, listen, just let him explain.

Lily: Are you kidding me? Your son is a liar. But then again, having you as a mother isn't exactly a recommendation for his honestly.

Jack: Hey, Buddy, you got a minute?

Daniel: You're not here to fire me, are you? Because that would make this just the best day ever.

Jack: No, I'm actually here with a little friendly advice. You need to get your act together.

Daniel: I know. I'm trying.

Jack: Look, I know you've got a lot going on in your life right now. I also remember what it's like to be your age, but... your mom does not need to deal with anything else right now.

Daniel: It's just-- I don't know what to do. You know, I'm trying to make things right with Lily. I stopped looking at pictures. I canceled my membership to that stupid web site. I even offered to get rid of the internet altogether. What else should I do? All she has to do is ask.

Jack: Have you told her that?

Daniel: What?

Jack: That you are willing to do whatever it takes to make things better.

Daniel: No.

Jack: Maybe you should. But only if you mean it.

Sharon: Ah, Phyllis! Phyllis, Phyllis, Phyllis, you know, I can't remember the last time I went into a room and you weren't in it.

Phyllis: Um, last week, maybe?

Sharon: Seems a little longer than that.

Phyllis: Listen, um, Sharon, I was sort of having panic attacks.

Sharon: Yeah, Jack told me.

Phyllis: Yeah. And, um, I didn't wanna sleep alone at my place.

Sharon: Yeah, Jack told me.

Phyllis: So that's why he offered the guest room.

Sharon: Yeah, Jack-- he told me that. He told me everything. Um, Jack's a really good man. I know. He's--he's a good friend.

Phyllis: Yeah, he's a very good friend.

Sharon: Mm-hmm. He's your only friend, huh?

Phyllis: Um, my only friend?

Sharon: Well, it's just-- I don't know, it seems like it. It seems like he's your only friend.

Phyllis: No. He's not. I mean, I hope not.

Sharon: Oh. Well, that's good to know, because Jack and Noah and I are... we're sort of a-- a nuclear family, and there really isn't room for a second wife. I'm just speaking hypothetically.

Phyllis: Right, um, but you don't trust your husband?

Sharon: Ha! That's a good one! No, I-I trust Jack. So, um... did you find a place to stay tonight in case you have trouble sleeping again?

Phyllis: Oh, yeah, yeah, I thought I did.

Sharon: Good, because you know what? We--we can just call a sitter if you need one for Summer.

Phyllis: I'm making plans.

Sharon: Good. That is very good. Thank you. I'm glad to know that. Okay, so... let's get on with this business of the campaign, shall we?

Phyllis: That's right.

Brad: I need you to sign off on this proposal from Granville Global.

Victoria: Well, um, leave it on the table.

Brad: We need to make a decision about that engineering company, put in a bid.

Victoria: They want too much money.

Brad: Well, I think it could be a valuable asset. Their technology's cutting edge.

Victoria: Well, then get them to renegotiate a price and we'll discuss it.

Brad: We have to act quickly. Another company's gonna swoop in and take it.

Victoria: We'll deal with it. I'm not willing to pay what they're asking, all right?

Brad: You're gonna regret it.

Victoria: Fine, let me regret it.

Brad: You know, as long as we're going to be working together, we should try and be civil.

Victoria: Well, why don't you just try taking your own advice?

Brad: Fair enough.

Victoria: J.T.? Hi. Um, listen, um... I need you to take me to the hospital.

Gloria: How's everything at the office, Mr. Bardwell?

Will: Well, I'm free for the rest of the afternoon if you're still planning that party.

Gloria: Let me show you everything I've done so far.

Will: Give me a kiss.

Gloria: Oh, ow!

Will: Oh, what are you—[Will pulls a strand of Gloria’s hair] oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! You okay? Ooh, I'm sorry.

Gloria: It's okay.

Will: All right, okay. Well, tell me about your party.

Gloria: Our party, William.

Will: Right.

J.T.: So, uh... do you think the pain in your abdomen has something to do with your miscarriage?

Victoria: I don't know. It feels different this time.

J.T.: Well, if it were me, I would just blame Brad.

Victoria: Why?

J.T.: Well, that's a little theory I'm working on-- that, uh, everything to goes wrong in the world is somehow his fault.

Victoria: Wow.

J.T.: Yeah.

Victoria: That is some theory. World hunger?

J.T.: Oh, it's Brad's fault completely.

Victoria: Global warming?

J.T.: Brad's fault. Just blame Brad. It's like a motto.

Victoria: Yeah, that is some motto-- just blame Brad.

J.T.: Yeah.

Victoria: I like the sound of that.

Nikki: Oh, Brad... I just saw a hot blonde out by the elevator. Might be worth a try.

Brad: Funny. Obviously you've heard the news.

Nikki: Yes, indeed. We're finally rid of you. We'll be setting off fireworks later to celebrate.

Brad: I wouldn't light the fuse just yet. I think you've forgotten that I'm still on the Newman board of directors.

Kevin: So how did everything go with the sailor man?

Gloria: Swimmingly. I didn't even need your stupid money. Here.

Kevin: What, is he gone?

Gloria: Gone, good riddance and I couldn't be happier.

Will: Lois? Um, I need a favor. I'm sending over some hair samples to be analyzed. D.N.A., unofficial, off the record. Do not call me at work. Only on my cell. Okay. Thanks.

Garrett: I didn't think you'd come.

Amber: I forgot you were gonna be here. By the way, you owe me 300 bucks.

Garrett: I do?

Amber: Yeah, from when you ripped me off in L.A.

Garrett: I thought we were even. Here you go.

Amber: You carry this kind of cash around on you? Your music career must've taken off.

Garrett: I'm doing pretty well... with you as my muse.

Amber: I took those pictures down.

Garrett: I got 'em all right here.

Amber: What do you want?

Garrett: You.

Amber: Get over yourself. I'm married.

Garrett: I know. That's why I claimed to be your cousin, so your little boy wouldn't get suspicious.

Amber: You got it all figured out, don't you?

Garrett: Yep. I'm not leaving town without you.

(Knock on door)

Daniel: Lily, I just--

Lily: I'm not home.

Daniel: Lily, can you please just listen to me?

Lily: No!

Daniel: Lily, we can work this out.

Lily: I'm not interested!

Daniel: What do you want me to do? Just tell me! Just name it! I will do anything!

Lily: Actually, there is something that you can do. You can go see a therapist and get some help you pervert!

Jack: Wow, you and Sharon did some great work for me today. You're making me look like quite a candidate.

Phyllis: Great. I'm happy you're happy.

Jack: So, uh, how did you and Sharon get along? I mean...

Phyllis: We got along great. Great. No blood was shed.

Jack: Come on.

Phyllis: We're professionals.

Jack: Okay, great, good.

Phyllis: Yeah. Yeah, we're very mature. Listen, um...

Jack: Listen, I... no, go ahead. Go ahead.

Phyllis: Oh, no, you.

Jack: How to say this?

Phyllis: Clearly, quickly and honestly. Listen, I know what you're gonna say, and...

Jack: This is a big house.

Phyllis: I know, I know, I know, but not big enough for all of us. Don't worry about it. Listen, um... you helped me out when I was going through a really hard time and I thank you for that. Thank you.

Jack: I am always gonna wanna be there for you, but I made a commitment.

Phyllis: I know.

Jack: You and I have lots of history. Sharon and I have a marriage. I wanna be there in any way I can--

Phyllis: Listen, I-I--

Jack: What?

Phyllis: I understand. No sleepovers. I get it.

Jack: You okay?

Phyllis: Oh, Jack, come on. I'm completely okay. Okay is my middle name. Where--where is the diaper bag?

Sharon: I'll tell you. Okay, I'm... I'm as generous as the next person, but is my house really the only place that Phyllis can find to stay when she is in crisis? And--and I know that-- that she's a widow and--and she has a baby and she hates the Newman family, but am I a bad person for wanting her the hell out of my house?

Brad: No.

Sharon: Okay. Then what's with Jack letting her stay?

Brad: He should've taken her to a hotel.

Sharon: No, well, she didn't wanna be alone.

Brad: Doesn't she have any other friends?

Sharon: Yeah, that's what I said.

Brad: Well, I'm certainly not gonna sit here and defend Jack.

Sharon: Okay, well, I'm not asking you to. I'm his wife and that's my job, though I'm having a really hard time doing it right now.

Brad: You made a mistake marrying him.

Sharon: Okay, thank you, don't start with that.

Brad: Didn't you tell me that you weren't sure it was the right thing to do before you married him? I am not imagining that.

Sharon: But I was sure by the time I married him.

Brad: Listen... I'm willing to admit that I made a mistake marrying Victoria.

Sharon: Oh. Well, I'm sorry.

Brad: Well, don't be. You know, I feel, uh... strangely relieved. Things have been bad for so long.

Sharon: You know what, Brad? Look, if it's a bad match, I think you should just end it.

Brad: Well, if you have a mirror, I'll hold it up to you.

Sharon: Okay, stop it.

Brad: Listen, mine was a bad match, just like yours is. And if you admit that to yourself, I'm telling you, you're going to feel an incredible amount of relief. You said that when you thought you were dying...

Sharon: Don't... please...

Brad: The last person you thought of...

Sharon: Please...

Brad: Was me. I can't forget that.

Dr. Okamura: Good news. You're not sick. You're pregnant.

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Nikki: Thanks.

Karen: Stop flirting with the candidate.

J.T.: Move in with me.

Neil: Give me a reason to fire you.

Brad: How professional of you.

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