Y&R Transcript Friday 4/20/07 -- Canada; Monday 4/23/07 -- U.S.A.
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Proofread By Emma
Sharon: You wanna elope?
Jack: Yeah, why not? We could make this romantic. Besides, I think we could use some good news for a change.
Jack: Yeah, I have my moments.
Sharon: You're just doing this to make me feel better.
Jack: If I eloped with every woman I wanted to distract, uh, I'd be a many times over.
Sharon: Wow, um... thought getting a justice of the peace and just doing it.
Jack: If you'd like a big wedding instead, we can talk about that.
Sharon: Uh, no, no, no. No, I've done the don't need it.
Jack: Then why the hesitation?
Sharon: Because I'm just thinking about your political career. I think that we should wait until after the election.
Jack: So, if I don't do so polls, you won't be tied to a loser?
Sharon: No. Because being the man who caused someone else's death won't win you any votes.
Brad: Hey. There you are. I thought you were gonna be home earlier so we could try out that new bubble bath together.
Brad: Rough afternoon?
Victoria: You could say that.
Brad: Well, how about we go have, uh, a nice dinner together? What are you craving?
Victoria: The truth.
Brad: About what?
Victoria: You... and Sharon.
Brad: Honey, you're-- you're obviously stressed out. I'm gonna go draw you a bath so you can relax a little bit.
Victoria: Is that what you did for Sharon?
Victoria: Sorry, let me rephrase that. At the Ashford Baron in New York City, did you-- did you draw Sharon a bubble bath, too? Before or after you made love?
Brad: Who told you that?
Victoria: Just answer the question.
Brad: Victoria, this is crazy.
Victoria: Stop! Stop it! Because if I hear one more lie out of your mouth, I don't think I can take it!
Brad: All right, uh... Sharon and I did run into each other at the hotel.
Victoria: And yet, all these months, you just... you just kept it from me. How come?
Brad: I didn't want you to make a big deal out of nothing. It was completely innocent.
Victoria: Really? Well, you see, there's a room service waiter who--who tells a different story.
Brad: Room service waiter?
Victoria: Yeah, he served you and Sharon breakfast in her hotel suite and you were both in your bathrobes.
Brad: Well, he's got to have us mixed up with somebody else.
Victoria: Well, maybe I should fly this guy to Genoa City and have him identify the two of you in person, just to be sure.
Brad: Don't waste your money.
Victoria: So you admit it? You spent the night with Sharon?
Victoria: Finally. An honest answer. How refreshing.
Noah: Can I watch TV?
Nick: TV? I thought you had homework.
Phyllis: Yeah, you told me you had to study for a test on Native American Indians.
Noah: Well, I can do it later.
Nick: Or you could do it right now and I could help you with it.
Phyllis: Yeah, I'd do as he says.
(Cell phone ringing)
Nick: Hello? Hey. Just patch it up. We'll fix it tomorrow. All right, I'll be down in a minute. I gotta go down to the stables and check with Warren on a busted fence thing.
Nick: But when I get back, we'll go over that test material, okay?
Phyllis: All right, go ahead and go. I'll help him.
Nick: I won't be long.
Phyllis: All right. All righty. So let's get started. I'll help you out until your dad gets home. And, um, I just want you to know that I am a whiz with American history.
Phyllis: Ooh. Sweetie, oh, you know what? I'm gonna have to change her. Um, go ahead and get started. I'll be right back.
Noah: You're not my mom. I don't have to do what you say.
Jack: Not tonight, David. I am at Sharon's. I'm sorry, it's gonna have to wait, good-bye.
Sharon: I'm guessing David has no idea of your plans to elope?
Jack: My personal life is none of David's business.
Sharon: Oh, I think he'd disagree with that.
Jack: Well, that's his problem.
Sharon: Well, as campaign manager, you can't really blame the guy. He's just looking out for your best interests.
Jack: You are in my best interest.
Sharon: Listen, um... those photos of me and Dru-- they're--they're all over the internet and the tabloids--
Jack: The tabloids will turn away from them and onto the next story like that. I am not going to let the press force us into doing anything we don't wanna do. If you would feel better, we can keep it a secret till after the election.
Sharon: Well, I'm not gonna change my mind, if that's what you're worried about.
Jack: No, that's not it at all. Ever since my dad died and Ashley and Abby moved out, I've been sort of rootless. I'm the kind of guy that likes to have family around all the time. And the only thing that has made the last few months bearable is you.
Sharon: Well, I... I love you for saying that and--and I'm flattered, but I know how much being senator means to you.
Jack: I can have both. I can. You and Noah make me happy. You bring stability to my life.
Sharon: You don't have to explain, Jack.
Jack: I just don't want you to feel forced into doing anything before you wanna do it.
Sharon: After the way you were with my son earlier, you think I'd let a guy like you get away?
Jack: Is that a yes?
Sharon: Of course. I'll marry you anytime, anywhere.
Phyllis: I was not aware that the Native Americans wore superhero costumes.
Noah: Well, I'm doing research.
Phyllis: By reading a Cosmic Man comic book?
Noah: He was 1/4th Navajo.
Phyllis: Really? Who told you that?
Noah: I read it someplace.
Phyllis: You did? Oh, that's cool, but I have a feeling it's not gonna be on the test.
Noah: I hate tests.
Phyllis: Me, too. Shh. Me, too. How about I quiz you? It'll be fun. What chapter are you studying?
Noah: Chapter six-- the Cherokees.
Phyllis: The Cherokees, all right. Let's see, six... here we go. That's it. Yeah. Okay, who forced the Cherokees out of their native land?
Noah: The federal government.
Phyllis: Good job. Where did they go?
Phyllis: Okay. Oh, gosh. Summer needs me again. All right, do you wanna help?
Noah: Nah, I think I'll read my comic book until you get back.
Phyllis: Oh, well, um, I think you're, um--
Phyllis: Yeah, all right. Go ahead. Go ahead. I'll hurry back.
Jack: What about this weekend? We can take off for the Caribbean, spend a couple days honeymooning at the N.V.P. spa--wait. No, Saturday I have a meeting with a major campaign contributor. We could go later that day?
Sharon: Um... well, Noah has a really big soccer game on Sunday. And, you know, since I missed the last one...
Jack: Okay, no problem. We can't do it on the weekend. How about next week?
Sharon: You have me scheduled for that big photo shoot on Monday and that could go to Tuesday.
Jack: Oh, and I have the teleconference on Wednesday with all the party bigwigs in Madison. I've already postponed that twice.
Sharon: Well, Thursday I have this parent/teacher conference with Noah's school to explain what's been going on with him.
Jack: And Friday all the quarterlies come out.
Sharon: Well, maybe we should just get married tonight.
Jack: Wait a minute. You're a genius!
Sharon: I was kidding!
Jack: No, I'm not kidding. We could do this. Let's be spontaneous! What do you say?
Brad: I know you must have questions.
Victoria: Which I'm sure you'd rather not answer right now.
Brad: No, no, please, ask me anything you want.
Victoria: Are you in love with her? Is she in love with you?
Brad: We love each other as friends.
Victoria: Oh, very friendly friends. When did it start?
Brad: It didn't start. It was that one night.
Victoria: So the whole time you were dating me and... you were engaged to me, you were thinking about Sharon?
Brad: No! No, you're the woman I'm in love with.
Victoria: In love? In love? What's the difference?
Brad: Victoria, I wish I could go back and undo what I did. I hate that I hurt you.
Victoria: You know what I think, Brad? I think that what you hate is that you got caught.
Nick: This doesn't look like homework to me.
Noah: Phyllis said it was okay.
Phyllis: I was upstairs changing Summer.
Nick: All right, well, I'm gonna hang onto this for you. Get upstairs and do your homework.
Noah: All right, already.
Nick: Did you know what he was doing?
Phyllis: Yes, he was studying Native American Indians.
Nick: And reading Cosmic Man at the same time?
Phyllis: Yeah, well, he said Cosmic Man was 1/4th Navajo.
Nick: You believed him?
Phyllis: No, I didn't believe him, but I thought it was a pretty funny explanation.
Nick: Well, it's not funny. He's manipulating you. You gotta learn to control him.
Phyllis: Really? Okay, thanks for telling me. You know, I was distracted. Summer was crying and he was asking questions. I mean, what else could I do?
Brad: Can I get you an aspirin?
Victoria: No. It might not be good for the baby.
Brad: I wish I could do something for you.
Victoria: There is something you could do.
Brad: Name it.
Victoria: You tell me everything that happened that night--you tell me.
Brad: Victoria, how is that going to help?
Victoria: You said that you would tell me anything, so...
Brad: What do you wanna know?
Victoria: Why don't you just tell me who made the first move?
Brad: It doesn't matter how it started.
Victoria: Well, it does to me.
Brad: It was a mutual thing.
Victoria: So you kissed. And then you...
Brad: Okay, come on, what do you want? A play by play?
Brad: No. No, I'm not gonna play this game.
Victoria: Why? Because a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell? Or is it because you're trying to protect Sharon's privacy?
Brad: There's no point in getting into details. It's only going to upset you more.
Victoria: Not possible! Did you tell her how we make love? What I like?
Brad: No, of course not!
Victoria: Well, then what difference does it make?! Just tell me! You know what? Never mind. Forget it. I'm done.
Brad: Please, please, I'm not.
Victoria: Just tell it to your girlfriend!
Nick: All right, look, I know you're trying to be the best stepmother you can be, but we have to be consistent with him, all right? It's homework first, then play.
Phyllis: I'm consistent.
Nick: Yeah, I know. I know. That's one of the million things that I love about you.
Phyllis: Listen, come on... is it really a big deal? I mean, he's reading a comic book. He's just being a kid.
Nick: I know and I love Cosmic Man. I haven't even read this one yet, but... he just has to learn that he can't come to one of us for something and then go to the other to get the ruling reversed. Cassie used to do that.
Phyllis: Okay, I got it-- consistency. No Cosmic Man.
Phyllis: What is this?
Nick: She's, uh...
Nick: She's special.
Phyllis: She's talking.
Nick: Yeah. I haven't even read this one.
(Knock on door)
Nick: Hey, Sharon, come on in.
Sharon: Hey, thanks. Um, listen, I know that tonight is your night to have Noah, but I was just wondering, um, if I could bring him home with me tonight.
Nick: Uh, I guess. What's up?
Sharon: Um... Jack and I are getting married.
Nick: Huh. Where's this taking place?
Sharon: In my living room. Jack has a justice of the peace. It's a friend of his. He's gonna do the ceremony.
Nick: Um... what's the rush?
Sharon: Just... we both have very busy schedules and Jack has his campaign trail.
Nick: Okay. Is there anything we can do to help?
Sharon: Um, yes, there is. Please keep this to yourselves. We don't want it to go out to the public until after the election.
Nick: We can do that.
Noah: Mom! I thought I heard you down here.
Sharon: Hey, Honey! Um, I need you to come home with me.
Noah: Why? Is someone hurt?
Sharon: No, Sweetie, everyone's fine.
Noah: Then why do you want me to come over?
Sharon: Um, it's a surprise.
Sharon: Um, thank you. Thanks very much.
Noah: For what?
Sharon: Um... come home with me and you'll find out. Okay. Um, thanks.
Nick: Good luck.
Brad: Is the cold cloth helping?
Victoria: Not really.
Victoria: You know what I've been sitting here thinking?
Victoria: I've been thinking about what I was doing the night that you were in New York. I was at the office talking to my parents. I don't remember what we were talking about, but I remember thinking, "Wow, they really love each other." And they have that kind of love that's really hard to find. It made me miss you so much. So much, that I went home and I--I put in our wedding DVD.
Victoria: That part, you know, when we were dancing at the ranch?
Brad: Yeah, I was, uh, twirling you around. I almost dropped you.
Victoria: Yeah, that was really smooth. I got sick from all the spinning.
Brad: That's what we get for trying to show off, right?
Victoria: We were pitiful. I laughed so hard I cried. You know, it's ironic, isn't it? I... if I had known what was going on then and what you were up to, I guess I really would've had a good reason to cry.
Brad: Vicki, don't.
Victoria: You know, when you got back from New York and you told me how much you missed me and... you told me how much I meant to you. That was just-- that was just your guilt talking, right? I mean, you didn't really mean it.
Brad: No, I meant every word.
Victoria: You betrayed our wedding vows, Brad. I can't believe a word you say.
Noah: Where is it?
Sharon: Where's what?
Noah: Well, the surprise.
Sharon: Okay... um, come here. What would you say if I told you that Jack and I were getting married?
Noah: You already told me that.
Sharon: No, I mean... tonight--now.
Sharon: Right here. Right here in the living room. Isn't that cool?
Noah: You guys having a baby?
Sharon: No, I... oh, um, no, we're not rushing into anything like that.
Sharon: Well, we wanted to make sure that-- that you were okay with this-- that you're okay with us getting married tonight.
Noah: It's cool, Mom. Jack's an awesome guy.
Phyllis: Wow. That's kind of sudden, isn't it?
Nick: Yeah. Sharon said something about Jack being busy with the election.
Phyllis: Oh, right. Wow, marrying Sharon could be a P.R. nightmare because of those photos.
Nick: It's not our problem.
Phyllis: Do you think the press is gonna try to get to Noah?
Nick: They'll be sorry if they try. We'll keep an eye on him. Our co-parenting is going to become more important than ever.
Phyllis: Oh, you and Sharon are doing a great job already.
Nick: I was talking about yours and mine.
Sharon: I cannot decide what to wear. You wanna help me?
Sharon: Help me decide which dress.
Noah: I don't know. The one you like.
Sharon: Well, there goes the idea of making you my personal shopper.
Noah: Well, you always look pretty, Mom. Wear your pink sweatpants.
Sharon: Oh, you did buy those for me. Hmm... but don't you think maybe I should dress up a little bit more? I don't know, I kinda like this blue one.
Noah: Oh! Oh, I forgot to feed Stinky!
Sharon: Oh, well, you better feed Stinky. He'll jump out of the cage looking for food.
Jack: Sorry it took so long. So? You have a chance to talk to Noah? What's the verdict?
Sharon: Life, without the possibility of parole.
Jack: Then he's okay with our getting married?
Sharon: I think he even called you awesome.
Jack: Well, that's certainly the way I feel about him.
Noah: Hey, Jack.
Jack: Hey, Buddy, your mother tells me I have the Noah Newman seal of approval for tonight.
Noah: Now we can work on our model cars a lot more.
Jack: You bet we can. But I have, uh, a little favor to ask you.
Noah: Only if it doesn't involve chores.
Jack: Uh, no, I hope you won't think of it as a chore. Will you be my best man?
Noah: Do I have to wear a suit?
Sharon: Um, nope. But maybe just put on a clean shirt?
Noah: Okay, I'll do it.
Jack: Thank you, Buddy.
Noah: But now you owe me a favor.
Jack: Okay, okay, what's your price?
Noah: Will you take me to the next Cubs game in Chicago?
Jack: Well, since I happen to have box seats already, I think that could be arranged.
Noah: Oh, cool! I can't wait to see Mark Prior. I wanna be a pitcher just like him someday.
Jack: You know what? I happen to know a couple guys at the stadium. Maybe I can arrange for an autograph after the game.
Noah: Oh, cool!
Sharon: Noah, will you go upstairs and grab the camera for me?
Sharon: And put on a clean shirt.
Noah: You told me two seconds ago, Mom. Jeez!
Sharon: I feel like we're forgetting something.
Jack: No, no, no, I talked to the justice of the peace. He's on his way here. I brought the bouquet. I stopped by the jewelry store. I picked up a couple of rings.
Jack: So... you ready?
Sharon: I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
Jack: So what's the going rate for your thoughts these days?
Sharon: Um, for you, it's still a penny.
Jack: Yeah? I think I can afford that.
Sharon: I was thinking about what you said earlier-- how you felt rootless since your father died.
Jack: We may just have that in common, huh?
Sharon: You know, the second year anniversary of Cassie�s accident is coming up.
Jack: Well, I'd like to think she's gonna be here in spirit.
Sharon: Yeah. I wonder... how she would feel about it all, you know? Both of her parents remarried.
Jack: I think she would want for you to be happy.
Sharon: Yeah. You're right, she would. You came around at just the right time, Jack. I just thought I would never experience joy again when Cassie passed away.
Jack: You are a stronger woman than you give yourself credit for.
Sharon: I think that us getting married is a major step toward healing. (Knock on door)
Jack: That's the justice of the peace.
Sharon: It's time!
Jack: Hey, Jason, come on in, come on in. Thanks for doing this on such short notice.
Jason: Anything for an old college buddy. I brought my wife Ann as a witness.
Ann: How do you do? What a great looking couple!
Jack: Well, thank you. Hi, Ann, how do you do? Uh, this is Sharon, my fianc�e.
Ann: Nice to meet you.
Sharon: Thank you so much for coming.
Ann: We're glad to. We love weddings.
Jason: There's a little, uh, paperwork to fill out.
Sharon: Okay, um, I'm gonna go upstairs and get ready.
Jack: You take your time. We will take care of everything down here, okay?
Jason: You have the license?
Jack: I do, right here. Is that the one?
[John�s ghost appears]
John: Am I invited?
Phyllis: What is that? "Stepparents for Dummies"?
Nick: Um, no.
Nick: But it's a book I'd like you to take a look at.
Phyllis: The "Kama Sutra"?
Nick: Not a lot of reading with that book.
Phyllis: No. No. All right, I'm done guessing. What is it? "You're in my life, now get out right after you take me to Jenny's house."
Nick: It's got a lot of cool insights on the, uh, warped brain of a pre-teen.
Phyllis: Nick, he was reading a comic book. I mean, should I expect the cops at the front door when he accidentally sees a R-rated movie? I mean, I don't, you know--
Nick: No, no, come on, hey! You're so hot when you're sarcastic. No, look, you've read a thousand books on babies.
Nick: Just take a look at one that deals with kids about to hit puberty.
Phyllis: I have a grown son.
Nick: I know. Just think of it as a refresher course.
Phyllis: Okay, I'll do it for you, Professor.
Nick: Thank you.
Jack: Just help yourselves. Enjoy. Okay, what's this gonna be? Another lecture?
John: Jackie, I only asked if I was invited to the wedding.
Jack: Would it matter if I said no? You seem to be able to pop up at will.
John: Now, Son, I assure you, I am here with the best of intentions.
Jack: Then you approve?
John: Oh, I will say I was worried there for a while that you were dating Sharon for all the wrong reasons.
Jack: I felt the same way about you and Gloria.
John: Oh, now, that's a closed subject. You should know that by now.
Jack: Come on, get to the point. I don't want Jason and his wife walking out here thinking I'm talking to myself.
John: Son, I wanna give you my blessing. I think Sharon is just what you need in your life. And I believe you're going to be very happy together.
Jack: Oh. Thank you. Thanks, that means more to me than you know.
Jack: Hey, Buddy!
Noah: Hey, it's all set, Jack.
Jack: All righty. You got the pictures, right?
Jack: Wait, whoa! What's wrong?
Sharon: Um, the wedding bouquet you bought me.
Noah: Oh, it's... its right here, Mom.
Sharon: Whoo! Well, the bride catches her own wedding bouquet. I wonder what that means.
Jack: Well, hopefully, it doesn't mean that you're gonna be getting married again anytime soon.
Sharon: Not a chance, Jack.
Jack: Jason, I think we're ready.
Jason: We are gathered here this evening to unite this man and this woman in holy matrimony.
Jason: Sharon and Jack, are you prepared to recite your vows?
Sharon: We are.
Jack: We are.
Jason: Jack, would you like to begin?
Noah: Here, I'll take that for you, Mom.
Jack: We've known each other for a long time. I've always felt a connection with you. But tonight, I can tell you a hundred reasons why I love you. I realized I was falling for you... back when you were struggling with a plant Noah brought home from school. You remember that? It was barely alive. And with love and nurture and care, you fought to save it. And you did. Your optimism, your absolute devotion to your son-- they showed me who you really were-- someone who changes lives. Someone who changes lives for the better. Someone who... makes the best of every day. Someone who has made the best of my every day for the past few months. I love you, Sharon. You are the woman I want to live with... now and forever.
Sharon: Thank you, Sweetie.
Sharon: Jack, there are so many things I love about you. Not that long ago, you sat by my bedside in the hospital. And I was bruised from head to toe, but you looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. Our love is strong. It's the real thing. And in that, you have given me this amazing gift-- the ability to trust... again. And I trust that this marriage will get us through anything... together. You've given me a reason to believe in love again. And I can't wait to be your wife, Jack. I love you.
Phyllis: Hey, I skimmed through your book. It was great.
Nick: You skimmed? What, did you get sidetracked by the "Kama Sutra"?
Phyllis: No, no, I was too busy reading the behavioral section of your book. It sounded more like my behavior instead of Noah's.
Nick: We all have an inner child.
Phyllis: Yeah, my inner child just likes to come out more often.
Nick: She sure does.
Phyllis: Listen... it can't be easy for Noah to see his parents split.
Nick: Noah's a tough little dude and I'm gonna make things easier for him.
Phyllis: Which is why I'm gonna read that book, cover to cover.
Nick: He's gonna grow up in a place with love and respect. It'll bring everyone closer.
Phyllis: I like closer.
Nick: Where's that book?
Phyllis: We don't need a book.
Nick: No, we don't.
Jason: Jack, do you take Sharon to be your wife? In sickness and in health till death do you part?
Jack: I do.
Jason: Sharon, do you take Jack to be your husband? In sickness and in health, till death do you part?
Sharon: I do.
Jason: Noah, do you have the rings?
Noah: Oh, yes. Uh, here you go, Jack. Mom.
Jason: Jack, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed.
Jack: With this ring, I thee wed.
Jason: Sharon, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed.
Sharon: With this ring, I thee wed.
Jason: As Jack and Sharon have consented and vowed in holy matrimony before God and this company, and thereto have pledged their troth, one to another, I pronounce that they are husband and wife. Jack, you may kiss your bride.
Jack: Thank God!
Jack: Hey, get over here.
Noah: Congratulations, Mom.
Sharon: Thanks, Honey.
Brad: The food's here.
Victoria: What part of "I'm not hungry" didn't you get?
Brad: Victoria, you have to keep your strength up, okay? You're eating for two.
Victoria: What is that supposed to mean?
Brad: That means, that no matter what happens between us, our baby has to be the priority.
Victoria: My priority. I will never look at this baby as anything but a blessing. But I am not having it with you.
Next on "The Young and the Restless"...
Victor: Does that mean you're dropping out of the race?
Nikki: No, I'm in this to win.
Victoria: My new husband spent the night with your wife.
Sharon: Jack and I got married.
Cane: Amber said you have a proposition for me.
Kay: As a matter of fact, yes, I do.
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