Y&R Transcript Thursday 3/29/07

Y&R Transcript Thursday 3/29/07 -- Canada; Friday 3/30/07 -- U.S.A.

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Provided By Glynis
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Lily: Don't tell me you're interested in joining the objectivist society.

J.T.: The what?

Lily: Yeah, that's what I thought.

J.T.: Hey, what--what's with the death stare all of a sudden?

Lily: J.T., what are you doing here? Are you checking on Korbel's schedule?

J.T.: Is it up there? Where? I'd love to see it.

Lily: I mean, why look at a posting when you can just follow him around?

J.T.: Hey, I'm taking a forensics science workshop. A guest lecturer's putting it on.

Lily: And why the sudden interest?

J.T.: Well, I'm just upgrading my PI skills. My lab's on Wednesday morning. You gonna be around? We'll get a cup of coffee.

Lily: Well, that's good. That's good, 'cause, you know, if you were just here just to follow Colleen and Adrian around, then that would be harassment.

J.T.: Oh, no. No, no. Korbel is the one who slept with his student. That's his area of expertise, not mine.

Lily: You know the dean dropped the investigation into their relationship?

J.T.: Yeah, I heard that. I heard that.

Lily: And not that it's any of your business, but, uh, they are through.

J.T.: Thanks for the heads-up.

Lily: No, I'm serious, J.T. Colleen and Adrian are over.

J.T.: Well, that's good. Guess I shouldn't waste my time trying to prove otherwise.

Colleen: Good morning, Professor.

Korbel: Yes. Yes, it is. Um, are you alone?

Colleen: Well, my Uncle Jack is hard at work, and I believe that we should get down to business as soon as possible.

Korbel: Oh, really? You know, I was thinking the same thing.

Colleen: Hmm. Great minds think alike.

Colleen: (Clears throat)

Colleen: Um, I'm-- I'm studying the deteriorating morals of modern society, and this is field research.

Sharon: So you're... taking the hands-on approach?

Colleen: I guess you could say that, yes. (Laughs)

Sharon: Oh. (Chuckles)

Korbel: I guess it'd be futile to pretend this isn't exactly what it appears to be.

Sharon: Um, trust me, if I could rewind, I would've come downstairs wearing a full-length parka and combat boots. And, Colleen, you'd be, um, reading the bible. And you would be...

Korbel: Not here.

Sharon: Yeah. So, um, if you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna go back upstairs and, um, put some clothes on.

Colleen: (Sighs) I had no idea that she was here.

Korbel: Ah. Apparently, Sharon thought the same of you.

Colleen: Oh, well, so much for keeping our relationship a secret.

Korbel: Okay, let's just go to the coffeehouse and regroup.

Colleen: No. I wanna stay here and talk to her in private. Maybe I can make her understand.

Korbel: Yeah, I don't think she's gonna buy the whole research theory now.

Colleen: Then I'll tell her the truth, why she has to keep quiet. Uh, well, let's just hope that I'm as persuasive in person as I am in my essays.

Korbel: Well, if that's the case, then we have nothing to worry about, do we? Good luck.

Colleen: Oh, thanks. I'm gonna need it.

Daniel: Come on in.

Amber: (Singsongy voice) today is your lucky day.

Daniel: The Packers signed Ladainian Tomlinson?

Amber: "La" who?

Daniel: Running back... the Chargers... set the all-time single season touchdown record. You know, football?

Amber: (Normal voice) right, right. Guess again.

Daniel: I won the lottery.

Amber: (Gasps) close enough! I am granting you V.I.P. access to Strangersbynight.

Daniel: Oh, really? Well, I'm already a member.

Amber: Yes, but this is a special, exclusive section, a board where swingers meet.

Daniel: Uh, yeah. I'm not really into meeting people. That's just too weird.

Amber: No, not in person! Online only. I'd never do that.

Daniel: Then what's the point?

Amber: Just--it's taking it to another level. You know, a place where you can talk about your fantasies.

Daniel: (Snaps fingers) I have Lily for that.

Amber: Yes, but every husband has some thoughts he can't share with his wife, and this is just a safe place to explore them.

Daniel: (Chuckles) Trust me, I'm doing plenty with a regular membership.

Amber: Oh, come on. This is my way of saying good-bye to the site. You know, ever since I started seeing Cane, I just stopped e-mailing guys.

Daniel: So what, are you trying to live vicariously through me?

Amber: It's a way of saying thank you. You helped me land Cane by using the rules, and now I am showing you the rules of playing online.

Daniel: Well, I have liked what you've shown me so far.

Amber: All you have to do is prove you exist.

Daniel: Ah, see, we haven't got that far in my philosophy class yet.

Amber: (Laughs) Very funny. All you have to do is upload your photo on the web site, and you are done.

Daniel: I don't want to post my picture. You know that.

Amber: Oh, come on. No one is gonna see it.

Daniel: Are you sure?

Amber: Yes, I am positive. But it's just for the company records. You have to take a picture with me so they can prove-- here, hold this-- so they can prove you know me. (Camera beeps)

Daniel: Okay, but if this goes public, I'm sending Cane that picture of you in the garter belt.

Amber: (Giggles) Don't bother. He has the real thing. Okay. Ready? Look up.

Daniel: Yeah, okay.

Amber: Mm.

(Knock on door)

Cane: You Americans work fast.

Jill: Oh, I have no choice. The TV show set me back a couple of days.

Cane: Oh, I meant the media. The word's already out that I'm a Chancellor.

Jill: What are you talking about?

[Cane shows Jill the video clip on the internet]

Jill: Did you see that man who just left here?

Ji Min: Sure. Cane from the nightclub, right?

Jill: Cane. Cane is my son. I'll explain it all to you at dinner.

Jill: Oh, my God, I can't believe these "Extreme Catwalk" people! They put it on the internet?!

Cane: No worries. I probably won't be here much longer anyway.

Jill: Why?

Cane: Well, my visa's expired, and marrying Amber doesn't give me citizenship right away, so I was hoping to keep a low profile. But now that 137,000 people and counting have seen this, there's not much chance of that.

Jill: Oh, I'm so sorry. Honey, I had no idea they were filming me.

Cane: I know you didn't. It's okay.

Jill: Well, does this mean that you...

Cane: I'll get deported? There's a good chance it'll happen, yeah.

Jack: So the press asked me 101 questions about Nikki running against me.

Phyllis: How'd it go?

Jack: Well, I hate to brag, but I think it couldn't have gone much better. I'm starting to get the hang of these press conferences.

Phyllis: Well, you're a natural.

Jack: Ah, I need to learn to be more concise. I'm late for this meeting. Hey, speaking of that, what's your morning like? Are you busy? 'Cause I'd love for you to be part of this.

Phyllis: I'm fine. I don't have a meeting for another couple hours, I think.

Jack: Oh, great.

Phyllis: Who's on the docket?

Jack: Here we go. Lauren!

Lauren: Hi.

Jack: Hey, I hope I haven't kept you waiting. Wow, look at you, how big you've gotten.

Lauren: Well, he's been hitting the gym. You know how it is. I thought I would bring him to his first business meeting, start him early.

Phyllis: Jack?

Jack: Uh, look, why don't we take this into the conference room?

Phyllis: Oh, I-I can't. I have a meeting.

Lauren: Oh. Uh, is there any way that you could reschedule? I would really love it if you would join us.

Jack: Yeah, I--I'd like that as well. I know your meeting isn't for another hour. I promise to get you out in time.

Phyllis: Yeah, yeah, let's make it quick then.

Sharon: You know, back when I was in college, coming downstairs wearing the same clothes as the night before was considered "The walk of shame." Is it still that way?

Colleen: Um, if you're sorry about what you did. But you guys are engaged. You're fine.

Sharon: Oh. No, okay. I'm in the clear. (Laughs)

Colleen: (Laughs) so, um... about earlier...

Sharon: Yeah, you know, I was just surprised to see you here with Adrian, because last I heard I thought that you two had broken up.

Colleen: Well, that's what we want people to believe. Because, I mean, he could lose his job at the university if they found out that we were dating.

Sharon: Right.

Colleen: I haven't even told Lily, so you're the only one that knows. And right now, I'm begging you to keep it that way.

Sharon: Colleen, take it from someone who has made her share of romantic mistakes. Dating your professor isn't a good idea.

Colleen: So I've heard. (Chuckles) but, Sharon, he makes me happy. So I guess if... dating Adrian is a mistake, then it's the best one I've ever made.

Sharon: Well, you're an adult. No one can tell you what to do.

Colleen: You're the first one to realize that. (Laughs) wait, does that mean that you're not--

Sharon: No, I'm--I am not going to tell Jack about this. I'm going to respect your privacy.

Colleen: Thank you. Thank you so much.

Jack: Which is why I think Fenmore�s could be the anchor store to the entire Clear Springs shopping complex.

Phyllis: Yeah, I think a more upscale boutique would be a better idea.

Lauren: Well, you know, you're gonna need high-end shoes and accessories as well. In fact, I have this great Italian designer named Frederico. He's been looking to get into the American market.

Jack: Listen, the complex is gonna be big enough for a Fenmore�s and a number of boutiques. That way, we offer our customers as many choices as possible.

Lauren: So we can benefit from our couture neighbors. I like that a lot, Jack.

Jack: Excellent. Phyllis, I would like you and Lauren to start contacting all the major designers. Let's see if we can't turn Clear Springs into Wisconsin's answer to 5th Avenue.

Phyllis: Oh. Oh, wow. Um, I'd love to, except I am so busy. I'm gonna have to assign this to somebody else. Uh, pardon me, I-I have to run. My schedule...

Jack: Lauren, I-I am sorry. I thought Phyllis would be all over this.

Lauren: Oh, no. It's fine. I'm fully prepared to do this myself.

Daniel: This profile is really detailed. Hmm, body type. I guess I would say that I'm "Fit and Trim."

Amber: Oh, don't be so modest. You're definitely "Cut and Buff."

Daniel: Yeah?

Amber: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: Well, I guess lifting all those mail bins has finally paid off, huh?

Amber: (Laughs) oh, okay, wait. Next question, "Age."

Daniel: 23. I don't want people to know that I can't legally order a drink.

Amber: (Laughs) "Occupation."

Daniel: How about management trainee?

Amber: Ooh, perfect. You'll be an exec soon anyway.

Daniel: Okay, next question... (Sighs) "Turn-ons." Well, I can't say Lily.

Amber: Mmm, no way. You don't want to give away anything that might reveal your identity.

Daniel: Okay, what if I said I like women in lingerie and high heels?

Amber: Oh, you are a traditionalist.

Daniel: Mmm. (Laughs)

Amber: (Laughs)

Daniel: All right. And final question... "Describe your most intense erotic experience"?

Amber: Oh, my.

Daniel: Yikes. (Computer beeps)

Lily: Daniel. (Chuckles) you are gonna get a headache from staring at that computer screen all the time. Oh, did you guys hear about Cane?

Amber: What'd he do not involving me?

Lily: Nothing. I mean, just his mom. Here, check this out. (Computer beeps)

[Lily shows them the video clip]

Jill: Did you see that man who just left here?

Ji Min: Sure. Cane from the nightclub, right?

Jill: Cane. Cane is my son. I'll explain it all to you at dinner.

Amber: (Gasps) oh, that's right. He told me about that. That's from that "Extreme Catwalk" shoot, right?

Lily: Yeah. Did you know that he was Jill's son when you married him?

Amber: Mmm, no. No way. I mean, they're-- they're nothing alike. I wouldn't have never known in, like, a billion years.

Lily: So is he gonna get in a lot of trouble 'cause of the-- of all this publicity?

Amber: Well, why would he? It's just turning him into the celebrity he deserves to be.

Jill: Look, I am a citizen, and my son has a legitimate birth certificate. Now there's got to be a way around this. I don't care if he has an Australian passport. You figure it out.

Cane: Now I see why they made you the mean judge.

Jill: Thanks to you, Cane may have to leave the country.

Kay: No. No, Jill, thanks to you. I saw your video. (Chuckles) I was not the one idiotic enough to get caught on tape.

Cane: Well, now the D.N.A. tests are back, we have proof I'm a Chancellor. Can your attorney maybe figure this mess out?

Jill: I don't know. The way the government is scrutinizing immigrants these days, biology might not be enough.

Kay: Well, you should've thought of that before you opened your big mouth.

Jill: Oh, how dare you? All of this is happening 'cause of you, anyway.

Kay: Oh, shut up! For once in your life, will you just please shut up? Now if you will relax for just a moment, I think I may be able to help my grandson.

Kevin: Okay, look... you're supposed to add a shot of syrup to that, not--not half the bottle. Okay?

Colleen: So... Sharon is my new favorite person.

Korbel: Well, I'll try not to be offended by the demotion.

Colleen: (Laughs)

Korbel: I take it she agreed not to say anything?

Colleen: Do I get an "A"?

Korbel: On delivery and conclusion, not so much on the initial concept.

Colleen: Well, I'm sure it all balances out in the end.

Korbel: We hope. Now in the future, we gotta be more careful.

Colleen: I will do a room check before I invite you over. Don't worry. (Door opens and closes)

J.T.: Did you know that forensics experts can reconstruct fingerprints even after they've been wiped off?

Korbel: What is this, random facts day? Oh, did you know that during his lifetime, Michelangelo's nickname was Il Divino?

Colleen: Guys, come on. I really don't want to play this game.

J.T.: It's just amazing to me that--that no matter how much effort people put into covering up a crime, there is always evidence.

Colleen: What's your point?

J.T.: Oh, just that... this, uh, forensics workshop is really, really informative.

Colleen: Well, you know, isn't that the whole big deal of it all?

Korbel: You know, I have heard good things about the criminal justice department.

J.T.: What are you taking my picture for, hmm?

Korbel: Well, I can't help it. You're... you're such a handsome guy.

J.T.: And you're a weird dude.

Colleen: What are you doing?

Korbel: Just trust me.

J.T.: Hey, why don't you, uh, snap another one? I think I was blinking on that first shot.

Korbel: Sure. Hang on a sec.

J.T.: (Laughs) yeah, good. Just e-mail me that, all right? I, uh, I gotta go.

Colleen: What are you doing?

Korbel: Just let me fix the time and date stamp. Okay, I want an accurate record of how often J.T. happens runs into you.

Jack: Okay, you want to tell me what that was about?

Phyllis: Shh. Shh, shh, shh. (Whispering) she's almost asleep.

Jack: (Whispers) why were you being rude to Lauren?

Phyllis: What are you talking about? I was just pointing out how busy I was.

Jack: (Normal voice) well, find time to apologize.

Phyllis: (Normal voice) why? For being a good businesswoman?

Jack: Let's not pretend this is about business. I know what you're like when you're holding a grudge.

Phyllis: (Whispers) I'm not holding a grudge, Jack. Whatever this is, it's between us, okay?

Jack: You can hate her when you're off the clock. I need the two of you to get along right now and work together.

Lauren: Oh, hey. I'm sending a message to Frederico in Milan.

Phyllis: Oh, do you want a medal?

Lauren: (Sighs) I'd actually settle for civility.

Phyllis: (Sighs) Jack thinks I should apologize to you. Isn't that rich?

Lauren: Phyllis, please.

Phyllis: Listen, Lauren... Summer and I were kidnapped because you kept quiet, and I'm supposed to say I'm sorry?

Lauren: You know, I've--I've really run out of ways to-- to tell you how much I regret what happened.

Summer: (Crying)

Phyllis: See? Now you're making her cry.

Lauren: Thank you. Look, I--I'm gonna work on this project. And, you know, if it works out to be a good experience, I guess it's just gonna be up to you.

Kay: Well, according to my attorney, you have a solid case since you can prove you are Jill's son.

Cane: That's a relief. Will it be a problem 'cause I was working on fake papers?

Kay: We'll have to wait and see. Uh, she mentioned you may have to appear in court.

Jill: He shouldn't have to do that. He shouldn't have to prove his citizenship. He's an American. He was born here.

Kay: Well, we're trying to prove that now, Jill. That's what we're trying to do. Also, she, uh, suggested that you get a, uh, substantial job to show that you are contributing to society.

Cane: It's such a shame this country doesn't see the value of a good mixologist. (Laughs)

Jill: (Laughs) come on, you must've had some other jobs.

Cane: Well, I helped my uncle with his goats. There's probably not a lot of call for that, is there?

Kay: Afraid not, no.

Cane: Uh... I worked in a factory making little widgets, which were used in the manufacture of bigger widgets.

Kay: (Chuckles)

Cane: No, seriously, um, I worked in construction for a couple years, and I worked at a, uh, used car lot as a, uh, security guard.

Jill: I have an idea. Why don't you come and work with me here at Jabot?

Cane: I gave up wearing lipstick and perfume a couple years ago. I wouldn't know where to start.

Jill: No, no, I'm serious. Come on, sales, contracts... this is a big company. There a lot of departments, something would interest you.

Cane: I don't want a made-up job because I'm the boss' son.

(Cell phone ringing)

Cane: Excuse me. Hello? Would I like to make a comment for the "Leanna Love Show"? You bet I do. (Clears throat) rack off!

Kay: Oh.

Jill: (Laughing)

Cane: Hello? They hung up.

Jill: No wonder.

Korbel: Thanks, Tommy.

J.T.: Checkmate.

Korbel: I doubt you even know how the pieces on a chessboard move.

J.T.: You know, I'm gonna have to get a bigger memory stick for my camera since we're running into each other so often.

Korbel: As you can see, Colleen isn't here. So unless you want to erect a shrine in my honor, why do you want pictures of me alone?

J.T.: Oh, it's a class project. We're studying surveillance.

Korbel: And you chose me as your subject? God, I'm flattered.

J.T.: I'm thinking of titling it "24/7--the monotonous life of Adrian Korbel."

Korbel: (Chuckles) yeah.

Colleen: So where is everyone?

Lily: Uh, Devon is in class, and Daniel and Amber are picking up food. So how was your morning?

Colleen: Um, it was all right, except for the fact that I saw J.T. ten times. I'm serious. He is everywhere I go.

Lily: Wait, what is up with that?

Colleen: I don't know. I don't know, but he needs to get a life.

Lily: Oh, I saw him on campus, and he claimed that he was taking a workshop.

Colleen: Right, 'cause J.T. and school, those go together. I don't know, he just-- he's looking for an excuse to be everywhere I am.

Lily: Well, I don't get why he's still following you around. I mean, it's not like you're still trying to hide your torrid affair with Adrian.

Colleen: (Chuckles)

Lily: You're still seeing him, aren't you?

Cane: Yeah, mostly commercial drywall.

Kay: Uh-huh. Well, I could, uh, speak to Chancellor's head of development. I'm sure he could find you a position commensurate with your skills.

Jill: As opposed to him accepting a job here at Jabot. You are qualified for any number of legitimate jobs here.

Kay: He said he wasn't interested.

Cane: "He" is in the room, Katherine.

Jill: Katherine, there aren't many construction jobs in Genoa City. He might have to leave town.

Kay: You could always visit, and there's always the phone.

Jill: That is not the same thing, and you know it.

Cane: Should I leave, or do you want to hear my opinion?

Kay: You know, you are so selfish, Jill. For heaven's sake!

Jill: I'm selfish?! I'm selfish, you child thief!

Kay: Oh, you stop it! Please stop it. I'm offering him a tremendous opportunity. Can you not-- can you not be happy for him?

Jill: Why are you trying to send my son away again?

Cane: Both of you, be quiet. In case you haven't noticed, I can make my own decisions. That includes where I work. Jill, I don't take handouts. I'm not starting now. And, Katherine, I'm not gonna cozy up to the woman who gave me away.

(Cell phone ringing)

Cane: Excuse me. Whoever it is, it's "no comment."

Amber: Cane, its amber. No, no, I get it. I get it. Lots of reporters calling, huh? Oh, honey, don't-- don't apologize. Don't apologize. Listen, uh, we're gonna pick up some food and head over to Daniel's. Um, why don't you come by when you're done? Oh, family bonding. Sounds good. (Laughs) is that Katherine yelling in the background? Oh, good luck with that. Okay, see you soon, baby. Bye.

Kevin: All right, listen, you're gonna give the green copy to the customers, and we keep the yellow copy for--for our records, okay? Got it? Good, okay, um, why don't you wipe that table down over there? Whew, man. He's a nice guy, but he's just not getting it.

Daniel: (Snorts)

Kevin: Where'd all the good employees go? This is the third person I've hired since Jana left.

Daniel: That's rough, Dude.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, and trying to find somebody with, uh, management potential? That's a nightmare. I mean, these people can barely make change.

Amber: Hey, maybe you should post the job on campus.

Kevin: Yeah, maybe.

Daniel: Maybe you should give the new guy a break, and he'll get it.

Kevin: Yeah, he better. I can't be here all the time.

Amber: Hey, listen, we got a ton of food. Why don't you come chill with us, take a little break?

Kevin: What, and leave, uh, Barney Fife here all by himself?

Daniel: Oh, he is not gonna bankrupt you in an hour. Come on.

Lily: Okay. All right. Bye, Dad.

Colleen: Anything exciting?

Lily: Um, not as exciting as you and Adrian. You guys have been together this whole time?

Colleen: Well, okay. Well, we tried to break up, but we just couldn't stay away from each other.

Lily: Oh.

Colleen: I'm sorry I couldn't tell you.

Lily: Whatever. I won't tell anyone.

Colleen: Well, we already got outed this morning. Sharon saw us kissing.

Lily: What? But you know she's gonna tell Jack, right?

Colleen: No, actually, she was pretty cool. She promised she wouldn't tell anyone. But, of course, she didn't hesitate to give me advice.

Lily: Mmm, let me guess. It was, "Don't date him. He's bad for you. You don't know what you're doing. You're gonna get in trouble."

Colleen: Yeah, pretty much. But she also said that I'm an adult, and I get to make my own choices. Gotta respect that.

Lily: Yeah. Well, you think you can trust her?

Colleen: I don't know. I guess we'll find out.

Jack: I wish someone would tell me what's going on around here.

Sharon: What do you mean?

Jack: Oh, Phyllis is pretending to be polite to Lauren, and all the while undermining her mentally.

Sharon: Hmm, last I heard, those two were, you know, as close as could be. But then, um, you know, Phyllis turns on everyone eventually. You know that.

Jack: Well, I know she's unpredictable. But she usually comes around.

Sharon: Right. So how was your morning so far?

Jack: My morning was fine. How was yours?

Sharon: Um, embarrassing, a little. I forgot that you do not live alone anymore.

Jack: Did something happen?

Sharon: Well, I went downstairs to make breakfast this morning wearing nothing but one of your shirts.

Jack: Well, I'm sorry I missed that.

Sharon: Well, Colleen didn't.

Jack: Oh. Well, I mean, we're engaged, right? I mean, she knows that.

Sharon: Yeah. No, it was just a little bit awkward.

Jack: Well, what was it? Did she say something that made you more uncomfortable?

Sharon: Not exactly.

Sharon: Uh, no. The only thing that made me uncomfortable was getting caught. Um, Colleen didn't make a big deal about it.

Jack: Then why are you still flustered?

Sharon: Because she was just so... blasé. She even made a joke about it.

Jack: Well, would you have felt better if she'd been embarrassed?

Sharon: Um, not really. No. I was just surprised at how mature she was.

Jack: Well, it all sounds pretty innocent to me.

[Sharon remembering]

Colleen: (Clears throat) if dating Adrian is a mistake, then it's the best one I've ever made.

Sharon: Well, you're an adult. No one can tell you what to do.

Colleen: You're the first one to realize that. (Laughs) wait, does that mean that you're not--

Sharon: No, I'm--I am not going to tell Jack about this. I'm going to respect your privacy.

Colleen: Thank you. Thank you so much.

Sharon: Yeah, you're right. I'm overreacting.

Daniel: Hey, we picked up a stray at the coffeehouse. Hope you don't mind.

Colleen: Yay! You can eat the carbs.

Amber: It's okay. Cane's on his way. He'll help.

Lily: Well, looks like we're throwing a party.

Daniel: Yeah.

Lily: Hi.

Daniel: So what's the latest gossip? Anything hot?

Lily: Um... (Clears throat) nothing worth mentioning.

Kevin: What, uh, what was up with Adrian going all paparazzi on J.T. at the coffeehouse?

Amber: Oh, it sounds like gossip to me.

Colleen: A defensive move. J.T.'s been in our faces.

Kevin: Ah, well, just be thankful he didn't hit you over the head with a coffeepot.

Lily: Well, she can't call the cops 'cause he's just following her around.

Kevin: Not like they'd do anything anyway, trust me.

Colleen: Guys, J.T.'s really freaking me out. I'm worried he's gonna go through my e-mail again.

Daniel: Okay, that is so not cool.

Lily: Well, you guys, he is a private detective, so privacy isn't something that he values.

Kevin: Well, if you want, Colleen, I can make sure he can't get into your computer.

Colleen: You would do that for me?

Kevin: Yeah. Yeah. Uh, to stick it to pretty boy? You bet I would. All I have to do is install a firewall on your laptop.

Daniel: Yeah, but if Colleen uses a web-based internet program, then he could still hack her I.S.P. server.

Lily: Hello? (Laughs) when did I marry a computer geek?

Daniel: Hello? I.T. is a very hot career, and I'm trying to learn more about it.

Lily: (Laughs) okay.

Amber: You know, Colleen, you need to just attack the root of the problem. You need to get J.T. to lose interest.

Colleen: I just wish I knew how.

Amber: Well, hook up with someone new. Always worked for me.

Colleen: No, no. I can't string along some guy just to get rid of J.T. lying to someone isn't fair.

Lily: Yeah, you're right. It's not.

Jill: Great. You made him so uncomfortable he left.

Kay: Oh, please. It was just an offer, for heaven's sake.

Jill: (Scoffs) that you made without consulting me.

Kay: Well, as he said before, it is his decision.

Jill: Katherine, if he worked here, I would be able to see him every day.

Kay: You don't need an excuse to--to be around your son.

Jill: Well, I would if he was off building skyscrapers in Phoenix.

Kay: Well, I just think he deserves a chance to excel in his chosen profession.

Jill: Construction's not his chosen profession, dear. He's drifted from job to job. It's not his dream.

Kay: Well, neither is working at Jabot.

Jill: Well, maybe it would be if he tried it here.

Kay: Fine. Oh, please. The--the offer was just an option.

Jill: Well, it's a very bad option, Katherine. You tried to separate us when he was a baby. You're trying to do it again!

Kay: Stop being so melodramatic! I'm tired of it!

Jill: You know what? I don't wanna listen--

Kay: For heaven's sake! The job was simply a job to be offered.

Jill: Get the hell out of my office.

Lauren: You know, a lot of malls are changing their style to look like these outdoor towns.

Phyllis: Mm-hmm.

Lauren: It's nice. It's more of a shopping experience than just, you know, rote.

Phyllis: Right, right, right. They're more like lifestyle centers.

Lauren: Yeah, yeah. I'm reading they're going up everywhere.

Phyllis: Yeah, they're a mini-tourist attraction, aren't they?

Lauren: (Laughs) yeah. But it's really a genius concept. It is. I'm really excited that Fenmore�s is gonna be part of it.

Phyllis: Yeah. A lot of these centers are a little more diversified. They have, uh, movie theaters, apartment buildings, um, conference centers.

Lauren: Why don't you move N.V.P.? That way they'll be part of the day-to-day activities.

Phyllis: Possibly.

Lauren: I mean, look at this. You could live in this town.

Phyllis: Well, I wouldn't go that far, but, um, it definitely has a-a community feel, with a lot of customers-- a-a wide array.

Lauren: Right, which is great for the retail and the development.

Phyllis: Mm-hmm. And it's structurally sound for the business owner. Plenty of accommodation means a larger profit margin.

Lauren: Yes, and happy people all around.

Phyllis: There you go, happy people.

Lauren: Yeah.

Phyllis: Yeah.

Lauren: Why don't we do something like offering a rewards program? You know, for people who continue to shop with us.

Jack: Well, sounds like I'm interrupting a good brainstorming session.

Lauren: Well, hey.

Phyllis: We were talking about the structural details of the complex and how it will, um, assist revenue.

Lauren: Actually, I'm really glad you came back. There are a few things I wanna go over before we proceed. I really need your assurance that Fenmore�s is going to be highlighted in this development.

Jack: Consider it done.

Lauren: Okay. And I wanna lock in my rent for five years.

Phyllis: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. (Laughs) wow. Getting ahead of yourself. I mean, if--if the center is successful, we have every right to raise your rent.

Lauren: If the project is successful, it's because the foot traffic was brought in by Fenmore�s.

Jack: You're right. And I'm happy to offer you a 5-year lease.

Lauren: Thank you. I also wanna make sure that I'm able to pick the location and work with the architect on design.

Jack: That won't be a problem, either. First I want to get both of you out to Clear Springs to look at this site together.

Lily: Hey, maybe there's a way that you can pretend to date somebody else without hurting anyone.

Cane: We're the bad guys when it comes to romance, huh?

Amber: Uh, because we have to do things like pretend-date to get your attention.

Daniel: Here we go with the rules again.

Kevin: Yeah, and then you find the girls who don't sweat using a guy. They're fun.

Lily: Oh! Colleen, I got it. You need a beard.

All: (Laugh)

Cane: That would definitely get my attention.

Daniel: Yeah, in a bad way.

Lily: No, you guys, I mean, a cover. Remember when you acted like you were dating Daniel 'cause my parents didn't want us together?

Colleen: I already tried that. I dated rocky, and J.T. didn't even notice.

Amber: Okay, because he wasn't your type. You need to find someone plausible.

Lily: Yeah.

Colleen: It's a good idea. But the question is... who?

Daniel: Well, you know I'd love to return the favor, but the whole marriage thing, that kind of excludes me.

Lily: Yeah, and there are some things that I won't share with you.

Daniel: (Laughs)

Cane: I'd do it, but we'd end up on the internet.

Amber: Besides, I'm the jealous type.

Kevin: Ahem. Colleen, I think you're overlooking the obvious choice here.

Colleen: Who?

Kevin: Me!

All: (Laughing)

Jack: I want you both to get out to Clear Springs. Check out the area. Check out the site. Get inspired. I want your help in making this a truly unique shopping experience for anyone who goes there.

Lauren: You don't ask for much, do you, Jack?

Jack: I also want you both to go there in the next couple of weeks.

Phyllis: Oh, okay. I'm gonna have to check my schedule.

Jack: Okay, great. I'll leave you two creative geniuses to do your magic.

Phyllis: Great.

Lauren: Thanks.

Phyllis: Great. That's great. Well, I'm booked till the end of the year. You're gonna have to go alone.

Lauren: Gee, what a shocker.

Phyllis: Mm-hmm. Uh-oh. I have to change her.

Lauren: Yes.

Phyllis: I don't have any diapers.

Lauren: You don't?

Phyllis: I have to go down to the nursery, unless you have one.

Lauren: Yes, actually I do.

Phyllis: Thank you.

Lauren: Oh, is Summer still having trouble with diaper rash?

Phyllis: She was never having trouble with diaper rash. No, she wasn't.

Lauren: Phyllis, there's this new lotion I got, all right? It's got aloe and tea tree oil. It should heal her in a day or two-- and the diaper.

Phyllis: Thank you very much. And I'll maybe try that. (Whispers) hi, Sweetie. Yeah.

Colleen: (Laughs) wait, so you dating me?

Kevin: Why not?

Colleen: Kevin, that's the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard.

Lily: Yeah, talk about something J.T. would never believe.

Kevin: Oh, come on. We've worked through our issues.

Colleen: Yes, but there's a huge difference between no longer despising someone and dating them.

Kevin: Yeah, Colleen, and there is a thin line between love and hate.

Amber: Opposites attract.

Kevin: Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know when Jana had us trapped in that freezer, struggling for our lives, uh, let's just say that the building wasn't the only thing that caught fire that night.

Amber: Ah! (Laughs)

Colleen: Oh, Kevin, stop. No.

Kevin: Come on.

Lily: Oh, my gosh.

Kevin: Think about it. Nothing would bother J.T. more than seeing us together, and nothing would make me happier.

Colleen: That's true. That would drive him crazy.

Cane: I think it's brilliant.

Amber: Now all we have to do is figure out where you two are going on your first date.

Kevin: So... are you in?

Colleen: Okay... but no kissing. I'm serious. No kissing.

Kevin: All right.

Phyllis: So, um, we should get the contracts to you in, um, a few days. I guess that's it.

Lauren: Okay. Thanks.

Phyllis: Mm-hmm.

Lauren: You know... if Fen and Summer-- (coos) hello-- (normal voice) end up getting married, and you still hate me, the wedding's really gonna be terrible.

Phyllis: That's right. I wish it didn't have to be like this.

Lauren: It doesn't.

Phyllis: You lied to me, Lauren. You lied to me.

Lauren: We made a mistake, Phyllis.

Phyllis: A mistake that could've cost my daughter's life.

Lauren: But it didn't.

Phyllis: That makes it okay?

Fen: (Coos)

Lauren: No. No, it doesn't.

Phyllis: Listen, when I got pregnant, you and Michael were the only people I told-- the only people. You were--you were like a family I never had... and I thought I could trust you with anything.

Lauren: You can.

Phyllis: No, I can't.

Lauren: You still can.

Phyllis: No, I can't. No, I can't. Your lies cost me something very, very precious, something very dear to my heart, something I can never get back, and that's our friendship.

Daniel: Hey, Cane, you wanna give me a hand cleaning some of this stuff up? I mean, you're a pro at it, right?

Lily: Hey, ignore him. You're our guest.

Amber: (Laughs)

Cane: Thanks for calling. I had to get out of there. I felt like I was stuck in the middle of a brawl. (Groans)

Amber: Oh, it's okay. They never would've argued in front of you if they didn't consider you part of the family.

Cane: Yeah, but it wasn't your typical mother-daughter argument. I was the referee, not the newfound son.

Amber: Mm. Yikes.

Cane: I just can't figure out what's more important to Jill-- you know, getting to know me or making her mother pay.

Kay: William?

Will: Ah. Um, I'd hoped we could avoid this, but as your friend, I'm advising you to hire a good attorney.

Kay: This is about the video footage, I take it?

Will: Mm. Given the widespread exposure of cane's story, um... I have no choice but to open a criminal investigation into his kidnapping. I'm sorry.

Korbel: He has been following me around all day. The least he could've done was carry my groceries. Hey, J.T. smile.

J.T.: (Grunts)

Colleen: I'm sorry.

Korbel: Yeah, I'm not. I've got enough photos for a restraining order... or at least a Ken Burns-style documentary.

J.T.: Oh, this is horrible. Will you pass the sugar?

Kevin: Hey, Colleen. You hear about that deejay that they have spinning at the campus center on Friday nights?

Colleen: Yes, actually, I have. Sounds kind of cool.

Kevin: Think maybe you'd wanna go on Friday?

Colleen: With you?

Kevin: No, with Lily.

Colleen: (Laughs) are you asking me out on a date?

Kevin: (Laughs) well, I mean, if you-- if you need to put a label on it, then, uh, yeah. I guess I am.

Colleen: Well, in that case, Kevin, I would love to go out with you.

J.T.: (Scoffs)

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

David: I have been working overtime on our strategy.

Victor: Promote Jack Abbott the best way you can, without tearing down my wife.

Brad: You have to learn that your actions have consequences.

Sharon: Back off, Phyllis.

Phyllis: Or what?

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