Wednesday Y&R Transcript 4/28/04

Y&R Transcript Wednesday 4/28/04 -- Canada, Tuesday 4/29/04 -- U.S.A.

By Eric
Proofread by Emma

Chris: Oh, God, Michael. All right, what is with the commotion? My God.

Michael: Well, Christine, I'm sorry. You know I'm one of those people who actually believes that we're all better off in a society of laws and law enforcers, but sometimes, I really have to tell you, I wonder who are the good guys and who are the bad guys?

Chris: I was about to offer you a cup of coffee. I don't think your blood pressure can handle it.

Michael: Kevin is back in prison, bond revoked.

Chris: For jumping bail on the Brittany Hodges matter, I know.

Michael: Yes, and, you know, when Genoa City's finest came to take him into custody, they roughed him up pretty good.

Chris: Oh, I doubt that.

Michael: You weren't there. It got ugly.

Chris: All right. What do you want me to do?

Michael: Move up his trial date-- yesterday, today, as soon as possible.

Chris: You know as well as I do that's not advisable. In fact, that's a terrible idea.


Phyllis: I'll tell you, I know you have that vial. I know you do, Drucilla. You know what? I'm gonna get it back one way or another. I'm gettin' it back.

Damon: Who you talkin' to?

Phyllis: Myself.

Damon: You still wound up about last night?

Phyllis: Wound up? Oh, you could say that. Let me tell you something, Drucilla was lucky that you were with me. The way that she was acting, all high and mighty, I was about to slap that smug face of hers.

Damon: Oh, Phyllis, will you let it go?

Phyllis: Let it go? Let it go? Are you kidding me? Damon, you've been working on this hair-straightening project forever, and you just want to let it go?

Damon: I got another vial.

Phyllis: So what? Listen, I'm mad as hell, and you should be, too.


Dru: Good morning, honey.

Neil: Mm, morning, baby. I was in the middle of that article--

Dru: Oh, it couldn't have been anything important.

Neil: Actually, it was. It... ooh, you smell good.

Dru: I just took a shower.

Neil: I haven't taken my shower yet.

Dru: And you're telling me this, why? You need a haircut.

Neil: Because I thought maybe, you know, you could scrub my back.

Dru: Well, sweetie, I would, um, I'd love to scrub your back.

Neil: Yeah? So what are we doing sitting out here?

Dru: Well, because our daughter is in her room.

Neil: She is?

Dru: Uh-huh.

Neil: Isn't she gonna be late for school?

Dru: She's a teenager, honey. It goes with the territory.

Neil: Mmm. That's just as well, because you know what? You ought to read this.

Dru: What? I don't want to read it.

Neil: No, read this article before Lily does. Look, right here. See it?

Dru: Kevin... wait a minute. Kevin Fisher got arrested again?

Neil: Yeah.


Nick: Morning.

Victor: Morning.

Nick: You wanted to see me?

Victor: There are a few things you and I need to discuss.

Nick: Couldn't they have waited till the office?

Victor: No, because I'm not gonna spend a lot of time in the office these days. I made a commitment to the court and to community service. I mean to take that seriously.

Nick: All right. What does this have to do with me?

Victor: I need to tie up a few things before I give this new undertaking my full attention.

Nick: And I'm one of those things?

Victor: Indeed you are, but we'll deal with that a little later, all right? Meanwhile, I need to apprise you of something that came as a shock to me... something that affects the whole family.

Nick: What is it?

Victor: I found out that I have another child... a 6-year-old daughter, to be precise, who I knew nothing about.


Sharon: So why has Victor called this family meeting?

Nikki: Well, since he's also included Ashley and Brad, I think it's safe to assume what's on his agenda.

Sharon: Abby.

Nikki: Yes. Abby. I just wish I knew what he was gonna say.

Sharon: You don't have any inkling?

Nikki: (Sighs) Victor has barely spoken to me since he found out that child is his own flesh and blood. I do know that he intends to be a part of her life.

Sharon: That's it?

Nikki: That's it.

Sharon: You really think your marriage is that shaky?

Nikki: You know the hold Ashley has over him. He's just found out that they share a child. That's why I need your help, Sharon. I really need you to back me up at this meeting. Otherwise, I could lose my husband.


Michael: Under normal circumstances, I'd agree with you.

Chris: You can't prepare for a trial in a day or even a week.

Michael: Yes, I can. Yes, I can! I have to.

Chris: So what, you're just gonna push everything else aside, all your other clients?

Michael: To hell with my clients. This is my brother.

Chris: It wasn't too long ago when you were wishing Kevin never showed up.

Michael: Hi. This is why. This is why. Strangers you can brush aside, even friends if you have to, not family. Family, they just... they just latch onto you like some kind of giant squid.

Chris: So now you love your brother, and you want to save him?

Michael: I'm just doing what I have to do, okay? Even if I have to spend all night trying to prepare for this trial. I can do that. I can do it.

Chris: Michael, one all-nighter isn't gonna do it.

Michael: You're not listening to me, Christine. Every night that Kevin stays in jail, he's at risk, mentally, physically, every way.

Chris: Oh, my God the kid was out on bail. He chose to run. He knew his bail would be revoked. So maybe a little time alone will give him a chance to reflect on his choices. And maybe he'll come out a better person.

Michael: Wow. Wow. You're really starting to buy your own rap, lady prosecutor.

Chris: Be civil or get out.

Michael: Look, I told you Kevin had a lousy childhood. One of the reasons it was so lousy is that often-- often, he was locked in a little closet, and he was left there.

Chris: And I'm sorry about that, I am. That is horrible.

Michael: I'm just asking a small favor. It's not unethical.

Chris: (Sighs) if we move Kevinís trial date up too far, you won't have the opportunity to interview your witnesses. You won't have your client ready to testify.

Michael: I'll wing it. He's innocent. Even if it's not my absolute best, well-rehearsed defense I've ever put on... it'll have to do.

Chris: I'll do what I can. I...

Michael: You're the best. You're the best, best.

Chris: Yeah, okay. Right, right.

Michael: Is it really all right? I mean, you're-- you're comfortable being the prosecutor, are you?

Chris: Michael, go, okay? Go see your brother. Get out of here. Spend whatever time you can with him getting ready for trial. Go.

Michael: Yes, ma'am. Thank you.


Dru: Kevin Fisher has been arrested again. Mnh-mnh-mnh. "Authorities made the arrest after discovering Kevin Fisher at Fenmoreís Boutique. He had failed to appear in court to face aggravated battery charges in the January assault of Brittany Hodges, 20." About bloody time.

Neil: Yeah. Thought that would make you happy.

Dru: And you know what the best part is? "Held without bail." Music to my ears, right? They ought to throw away the key, honey. Don't start with that nonsense again. Please donít.

Neil: What nonsense?

Dru: That Kevin isn't guilty of disfiguring that girl.

Neil: Okay, Dru, I have questions, legitimate questions.

Dru: Baby, the only answer you need is that that freak is a predator.

Neil: I'm not debating that, okay? But Kevin Fisher's been charged with a very specific, very serious crime. You know, we have evidence that he may not have been at Marsino's that day.

Dru: Honey, never mind the stupid evidence. I care about our daughter and making sure that he pays for what he did to her.

Neil: Drucilla, I care about my daughter, too.

Dru: Don't "Drucilla" me. Enough is enough and too much is foolish. Now he has got to be punished, and if the police don't nail him this time, there is no guarantee that they're gonna have another opportunity, Neil.

Neil: I don't understand why we're even arguing about this. This is like--

Dru: I'm not arguing with you. Look, I'm just talking to you. I'm just talking to you. I'm trying to explain to you how I'm feeling about the situation. That's all I'm saying.

Neil: Okay, and all I'm--

Lily: Hey, is everything all right? I thought I heard yelling.

Dru: No, no. We're just having a discussion. Lily...

Lily: Kevin was arrested again? Why didn't you guys tell me?

Neil: Lily, I was going to. It's just that I--

Dru: Baby, you didn't give us a chance, honey.

Lily: I cannot believe it. He is back in jail. My nightmare is over.

Dru: Yeah.

Neil: It's only an arrest.

Lily: Yeah, but they're gonna put him away for good, right?

Dru: We're hoping.

Lily: I mean, do you realize what this means? I don't have to live in fear anymore. I don't have to be paranoid that I'm gonna run into him whenever I go out. He can never hurt me again. I can finally have my life back.

Dru: Yes, honey.

Lily: This is so great. I cannot wait to tell Colleen and Sierra. I have to go, you guys.

Dru: Aren't you forgetting something?

Lily: Oh, oh, sorry, sorry.

Dru: That's better.

Lily: Bye, Dad.

Neil: Okay. Bye, sweetie. I'll talk to you later.

Lily: Okay. Don't want to forget this.

Dru: Bye.

Lily: Bye.


Damon: You can believe me, baby, I was plenty upset with Drucilla last night.

Phyllis: Mm-hmm. And now, what, you're just over it?

Damon: Well, there's one thing I've learned, there ain't no percentage in holding on to anger.

Phyllis: Right. Well, I'd like to hold on to something-- Dru's neck and just... (Imitates punching noise) but I'm not gonna do that. I'm going to be Zen.

Damon: That's more like it.

Phyllis: Let me tell you something, don't let her near me. 'Cause honestly, I'm not responsible for my actions.

Damon: Don't make me restrain you.

Phyllis: (Laughs) yeah?

Damon: I like that, too.

Phyllis: Mmm, lucky you.

Damon: But I got e-mails.

Phyllis: Yeah.

Damon: Kisses, e-mails. Kisses, e-mails.

Phyllis: Mm-hmm.

Damon: I'll make you a deal.

Phyllis: What?

Damon: You let me read my e-mails, and then we can have kisses until, um, 2:15.

Phyllis: Okay. Who is that one from?

Damon: It's a colleague of mine. He's a chemist with a group in Houston.

Phyllis: Mm-hmm.

Damon: Uh-oh.

Phyllis: What? What's wrong?

Damon: (Sighs) this is not good.


Nick: Another child, a daughter?

Victor: Right.

Nick: How is it that you didn't know about her?

Victor: The child was not a result of an affair that I had, but rather the result of artificial means.

Nick: Do you know who she is?

Victor: Little Abby.

Nick: Ashley's child?

Victor: Ashley had herself inseminated, unbeknownst to me. She had access to sperm that I had stored at a medical facility. She proceeded to bear the child, give birth to it, raise it as her own, and Brad Carlton adopted her as his daughter.

Nick: All right, just hold on a second. Are you telling me that Ashley--

Victor: Right.

Nick: She actually accomplished what Diane Jenkins set out to do, which was trick you into having a baby with her.

Victor: Right, except she didn't reveal it. Certainly not to me.

Nick: How many other people know about this?

Victor: Quite a few, including your mother.

Nick: Mom knows? For how long?

Victor: No idea.

Nick: (Sighs) well, what are you gonna do? How are you gonna handle this?


Michael: Where's my client?

Officer: Well, he's not the only prisoner in this place, counselor.

Michael: I know, but we set a time.

Officer: Well, just make yourself comfortable.

Michael: Don't tell me to make myself comfortable. I am on time. Why aren't you on time?

Hank: I'll take over, officer, thanks. That's no way to talk to a hardworking servant of the people.

Michael: (Chuckles) that's right. I wouldn't want to offend him. He's probably had a long day trying to provoke young, innocent kids into resisting arrest so they can rough him up.

Hank: That isn't what happened.

Michael: Give me a break, Hank. I was standing right there. I took the box cutter away from my client.

Hank: Your client was a fugitive, Baldwin. He's allegedly a, uh, dangerous human being. Now we played it by the book, which means we can exert enough force that no one gets hurt.

Michael: Especially not a policeman.

Hank: Oh, you got a problem with that? 'Cause see, my officers have families to go home to at the end of the day. Now why should they take a chance with a punk kid who jumps bail and wields a weapon at 'em?

Michael: Yeah. What are you doing here? I'm supposed to be meeting with my client.

Hank: I was hoping you could talk to him about his behavior while he's here in the lockup.

Michael: What, he's not a model prisoner? Hank, the kid is terrified.

Hank: Jeez, man.

Michael: He's a little unstable.

Hank: A little?

Michael: And he's probably gonna give you some attitude. So? Half the people you lock up in here give you attitude. You deal with it.

Hank: All I'm saying is your brother would have a lot less to be terrified about if he starts cooperating a little more. Now you do what you want to do with that. (Door opens)

Hank: Thanks, officer.

Michael: Can we take these cuffs off, please?

Hank: All right.

Kevin: Got you outnumbered 2 against 1.

Hank: Yeah, Kevin, you sure do.

Michael: What are you talking about?

Kevin: Come on, Mikey. Let's make a launch for him.

Michael: W-wait, Ke-- stop it!


Sharon: Nikki, I will do my best.

Nikki: You're best? I am asking for your full support.

Sharon: I know. I'm just... I'm spread a little thin right now.

Nikki: You're always spread a little thin.

Sharon: Look, uh, I have a lot on my plate. But I will do my best. I really think you're worrying too much about this.

Nikki: Do you? Well, then why won't Victor tell me about Abby?

Sharon: I don't know. Why don't you ask him?

Nikki: Don't you think I've tried? He's furious with me.

Sharon: Well, that's not your fault. That's Ashley. She created this whole fiasco.

Nikki: Yeah, but I kept her secret. How can he trust me now?

Sharon: Nikki, you have been the most loving, loyal wife that any man could have ever wished for. You've stood by him through thick and thin. He's not gonna throw that away.

Nikki: I hope you're right. It's funny, right now, you have more faith in my husband than I do.

Sharon: Nikki...

Nikki: Look, the one thing I have learned, love does not conquer all.

Sharon: So you're just gonna give up on Victor?

Nikki: Well, I think he's already given up on me.

Sharon: That's only because you're letting Ashley make you feel insecure.

Nikki: Look, I am asking you for a little help. Is that really so much?

Sharon: Nikki, don't do this, all right? I said I would help you.

Nikki: No, you said you would do your best.

Sharon: Well, that's the same thing.

Nikki: No, it isnít.

Sharon: I can't do more.

Nikki: Why not? Why? Because of Cameron Kirsten? He's dead.

Sharon: Maybe not.

Nikki: What?!

Sharon: That's right, Nikki. What if we're wrong? What if he's alive after all?


Michael: Just go. Go.

Hank: You need to shape up, son.

Kevin: I'm not your son. If I was your son, I wouldnít...

Michael: All right, all right. Just go. Go. All right? Please?

Kevin: I hate him.

Michael: You know, don't waste the energy. How you doing?

Kevin: Great. Great. The bed is soft, the food is good, the views are outstanding.

Michael: Kevin, Kevin.

Kevin: It's a nightmare, okay?

Michael: Okay. Okay. We've got to start thinking about your defense. I asked Christine about moving your trial date up, so you spend the least amount of time in here.

Kevin: How little are we talking?

Michael: Well, I don't know. I mean, a few days if we get really lucky, a few weeks if we donít.

Kevin: Weeks? No, no, I canít. I canít. I can't do--

Michael: Yes, yes, yes, you can. This is doable. This is so doable. You just gotta play the game. You gotta do your time as quietly as possible. You don't act up, you don't do anything to call attention to yourself. You don't want the guards to notice you, you don't want the prisoners to notice you. You find a little place inside yourself where you can hunker down and wait. If you got something to read, you read-- are you listening to me?

Kevin: Yes.

Michael: Listen to me.

Kevin: Yes, I'm listening to you, Michael. This is not something I can learn how to do. I can't get used to this. I barely made it through the night last night. And when I woke up this morning, I wasn't thinking to myself, "Okay, I'm getting the hang of this." And if I am, it's the kind of hang that involves a rope. Do you get what I'm saying?


Dru: Honey. It's been awhile since Lily left. Been awfully quiet. What you thinkin' about?

Neil: I just wish I'd never seen that P.I.'s report, you know? Then this would be so easy.

Dru: The only one making it difficult is you.

Neil: Drucilla, are you suggesting that I sit back and do absolutely nothing, let Fisher go to prison for a crime that he didn't commit?

Dru: How can you be so sure that he's innocent?

Neil: Because he was not at that club when the cops say he was.

Dru: You told me the bartender told you that he was--

Neil: That's another thing. That bart-- that bartender Angelo, I don't trust that guy at all.

Dru: You sound like you want Kevin Fisher to go free. Obviously the police have enough evidence; otherwise, they never would have arrested him. Why don't you let the police do police, and you do Neil Winters, okay? Baby, did you see Lily's face? When was the last time you saw her smile? She's happy. Don't take this from her.

Neil: I gotta get ready for work..


Nick: If you have another daughter out there, it means I have a half sister. This is mind-boggling.

Victor: I'm calling a family meeting to discuss that and a few other matters.

Nick: What else is on the agenda?

Victor: First of all, I want to deal with the issue pertaining to compensation for Jabot Cosmetics. I want that settled.

Nick: Well, I can understand that. What else?

Victor: Next thing is the interim position of C.E.O. at Newman enterprises.

Nick: So you finally made a decision.

Victor: I have, indeed.


Neil: Honey, I need to get moving. What do you feel like eating for dinner? 'Cause if you like, I can pick up something on the way home if you don't feel like cooking. I hear there's a new Vietnamese place on the corner of Willow and Third. The food is really... whoa, look at your hair.

Dru: So now he notices. Do you like?

Neil: You look absolutely gorgeous, as always, but, yeah, I could get used to this.

Dru: Well, its springtime, and I thought I'd do something kicky.

Neil: It is kickin'. I don't get it, though. When you woke up this morning, you d--

Dru: Mm-hmm.

Neil: Wait a minute, you're not telling me that Damonís hair straightener that he's been working on is finished?

Dru: I'd have to say so.

Neil: I had no idea it was anywhere close to ready.

Dru: Well, what can I say? Damon works quickly.

Neil: Apparently. My hat's off to him. I mean, what, you just put it in, and bam...

Dru: Bam.

Neil: No big deal with chemicals, no trip to the hairdresser?

Dru: Oh, no, that's a wrap on that.

Neil: Most of all, you look absolutely amazing. (Doorbell rings)

Dru: Thank you. Do go on.

Neil: Forget it. I'm not answering that.

Damon: Drucilla, are you in there? Open the door right now!

Neil: What the hell is that?

Dru: Get rid of him.

Neil: What?

Dru: Get rid of him.

Neil: That's Damon, isn't it? Hey, Damon. How--

Damon: Where's Dru?

Neil: She's right over there.

Phyllis: Hey. Hey.

Neil: Wh--hi.

Dru: Oh. (Chuckles)

Damon: Tell me you didnít.

Dru: Didn't what? Oh, use your hair straightener? Maybe I did, maybe I didnít.

Damon: Dru, did you use it or not?

Dru: Why do you want to know so badly?

Damon: Because if you did, I suspect you'll be very sorry in fairly short order.


Michael: Do not talk like that.

Kevin: I told you, Michael, I can't spend another night in here. I'd rather die.

Michael: Oh, shut up. Shut up. Look, you dug yourself into a hole, and I want to try and help you out of it. But I'm gonna need to see a little effort here.

Kevin: In other words, try not to go nuts?

Michael: Oh, thank you. Look, it's tough. It is tough being behind bars. You know, most people in your shoes talk to their lawyers, their lawyers have no idea what they're experiencing. But I do. And I am a living testament to the fact that you can get out of this.

Kevin: You were always stronger than me.

Michael: You know, just being bigger and older doesn't necessarily mean stronger. I mean, look what you had to put up with when you were a kid. Listen, man, you are a survivor.

Kevin: I went to see Mom.

Michael: When you took off? You did, huh?

Kevin: Yeah.

Michael: Oh.

Kevin: It was a complete waste of time. She's more out of touch with reality than ever.

Michael: Well, so are you if you thought you were gonna get any help from Gloria Fisher.

Kevin: Good point.

Michael: Well, look, you know what? Forget about her. You're--you're here. You're in jail, and there's no judge in the world that's gonna post bond for you again, Kevin.

Kevin: I'm not gonna make it another night, Mikey.

Michael: Oh, man. Mm. How am I supposed to, you know, stay up until the wee hours of the morning trying to put together a defense for you, when the attitude I get is, you know, "I'm not gonna make it"? Fine. Then, well, let's not even bother with a defense.

Kevin: That's fine with me.

Michael: Why are you giving up?! Why? Huh? Look, you have got a great lawyer, who also... who also happens to be your brother.

Kevin: What were you gonna say, who also loves you?

Michael: (Chuckles) yeah, okay. You know, um, you're family, I guess. So for all intents and purposes, I love you. Which means that you could at least show me a little gratitude and make an effort not to fall apart on me.


Nikki: Sharon, have you been hallucinating again?

Sharon: No.

Nikki: Well, then how could you possibly think that Cameron Kirsten is still alive?

Sharon: Because Nicholas said so.

Nikki: What?

Sharon: That's right. Listen, it turns out that there is an S.E.C. investigation into not only Cameron but his company. Nicholas says he could have been facing prosecution. So you see, he had every reason to disappear.

Nikki: Yeah, but he didn't-- at least, not the way Nicholas thinks.

Sharon: Well, I'm only saying it's a possibility.

Nikki: Sharon, the man is dead. You killed him.

Sharon: I know that, but what if--

Sharon: "What if" nothing! We saw the body!

Sharon: Yeah, but the face-- I mean, you couldn't really tell if it was him.

Nikki: Who else could it be? You said he was wearing the same clothes he had on that night.

Sharon: Fine. You're right.

Nikki: Yes, I am right. You have got to get Cameron Kirsten out of your mind and move on. This family is fighting for its survival. We need you. I need you, so don't flake out on me!

Sharon: Okay, Nikki. I will try. I will try. I will hold it together, and I will get Cameron out of my mind for you, for this family. You can count on me.

Nikki: Don't just try. Do it.

Sharon: You can count on me.


Kevin: Mikey, you don't understand what it's like.

Michael: Yes, yes. I do understand. When you were little, you were locked in a closet. You don't like being confined. You might actually have a clinical-- a genuine clinical phobia. But you're a man now, and you can do a few days in jail.

Kevin: No, no, no. I canít. I can't, so I wonít.

Michael: Kevin, you promise me-- you promise me no more suicide talk.

Kevin: Fine. Fine. We won't talk about it.

Michael: Oh, no. But I can see it in your eyes. You're thinking it.

Kevin: Mikey, I have to do what I have to do.

Michael: No. I don't accept that. Look, I don't believe that you tried to burn Brittany Hodges. Therefore, I can get you off. Not guilty. Free as a bird.

Kevin: What about the other stuff?

Michael: What other stuff? What other stuff? You know, there's no other evidence, not that we know of. It would help if you hadn't confessed to Lauren Fenmore, but we can get around that easily.

Kevin: Oh, God. The walls are closing in.

Michael: What are you doing?

Kevin: The walls are closing in on me, Mikey.

Michael: No, no. Look--no. Just push 'em back.

Kevin: I'm being smothered. I'm being smothered, Michael.

Michael: Kevin! Just look at me. Look in my eyes. Look at me. Just breathe. Breathe. See? Yes. Look, this is a humane country. Jail is bad, but it's not some Turkish drug prison. Look. Look at me. There are weak people. There are weak, pathetic people who can do this. You are made of tough stuff.

Kevin: I can't breathe. I can't breathe. It's like being buried alive.

Michael: Yes, you can breathe. Breathe. No, it's not.

Officer: Time's up.

Michael: We'll be right out! Please! Look at me. Just-- Kevin, don't do anything stupid in jail, 'cause I won't be able to stop you, and then you'll be gone. We won't ever see each other again, and you don't want that, right? Right?

Kevin: No. Do you believe in heaven?

Michael: Yeah. Yeah, heaven's gonna be the day you walk outta here. And we're gonna get in my car, and we're gonna drive and drive and drive somewhere out west where there's just big sky and big land, and there are no walls anywhere, none.

Kevin: You think?

Michael: Oh, yeah. Definitely. But it's up to you. You gotta tough this out. Right? Just please--um, please. Look, you go on... and you show them what a man is made of... (door closes)

Michael: You do it for me. You do it for me, because I'm the brother who loves you, right? Right. Okay, so you go on now. All right? Thank you.

Michael: All right? Go on. Gonna--I'll be in touch. We'll see each other, all right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right.


Dru: So, um, you came all the way over here because of an e-mail? What a waste of time.

Damon: My colleague is a highly respected cosmetic chemist. Last year, his company did research on one of the compounds I used in the synthetic formula. In some of the tests, it interacted with a protein found in human hair.

Dru: Interacted how?

Damon: To put it simply, Dru, it attacked the protein. Happened so often, they abandoned their study, determined it was unsuitable for consumer use.

Neil: Hold on. Damon, are you telling me that you gave my wife a product that hasn't been thoroughly tested?

Dru: Oh, honey--

Neil: Yeah, what? How could you do that?

Phyllis: One second. Did she not tell you?

Neil: Tell me what?

Phyllis: Yeah, she actually stole a vial of the untested synthetic formula, used it on herself without consulting Damon.

Neil: You did what?

Dru: Honey, I can exp--

Damon: We'll talk about that in just awhile. Right now, Dru, how are you feeling?

Dru: Fabulous.

Damon: Mm-hmm. And your hair--no itching? No burning of the scalp?

Dru: No itching. No burning. I feel absolute--ha ha ha ha! Stop the presses. I know what you guys are up to. You're just trying to scare the Drucilla.

Damon: Scare you?

Dru: Yeah. Yeah, you're just trying to get me freaked out so I'll give you back the vial, and then you'll have both of them.

Damon: She thinks this is a con.

Phyllis: Yeah.

Dru: You guys tried to scam me. You lose. I win. I keep the vial.

Neil: Honey, how much do you really know about this hair straightener?

Dru: I know that it works like magic, okay? I know that my hair looks absolutely gorgeous. Do you see the shine? Hmm? Do you see the sheen? Do ya? Let me talk about the texture, okay? Can I just tell you it just absolutely feels like silk? Can I just... oh, my God. Oh! Ohh! Ohh! My hair! Honey! Honey, my hair! Oh, my God. Oh, my hair. Oh, my hair. Oh, my God. Ohh!


Nick: All right, let's hear it. Who are you gonna replace me with?

Victor: You'll find out everything in the meeting later on.

Nick: Why don't you just tell me now?

Victor: I'm not going to do that because I want the whole family present when I talk about all this.

Nick: Well, then you have chosen someone. You still intend to fire me?

Victor: You'll find out soon enough, son. Kindly be here at 12:00 sharp, and tell Sharon about it, will you?

Nick: I'll pass it along.


Hank: You wanted to see me?

Michael: Yes. I would like my client put on suicide watch.

Hank: Come on, please. That kid is so melodramatic.

Michael: He has a morbid fear of incarceration.

Hank: Oh, so you're a shrink now, too?

Michael: Do it, Hank.

Hank: Look, the kid couldn't off himself if he tried. There are no ropes, no sharp objects, no electrical outlets, no windows to jump out of. He's safe.

Michael: My brother is in danger of being beaten in that cell. You know that, and I know that.

Hank: Nothing's gonna happen to your precious brother.

Michael: Can you guarantee that? Because, Hank, if something does happen while my brother is in your custody, it is on your head, and I'm not talking a baseball cap. I am talking one world-class lawsuit. Oh. No. Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Can I take that back? I don't want to make any threats. I'm sorry.

Hank: So where's this going, Baldwin?

Michael: I am asking you, man-to-man, to make sure that nothing happens to him. He's way in over his head. Can't you find a separate cell for him? I know you could if you--

Hank: We're not running a vacation resort here, Mike. Now youíre sorry little brother caused a lot of people a lot of trouble.

Michael: That's the answer I was looking for. Thanks for nothing.


Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Neil: Why don't you tell me what we're looking at here?

Dru: It's bad, honey. It's bad.


Man: Do we make you nervous, Kevin?

Man #2: We don't like perverts.


Victor: At the family gathering, you'll find out everything, all right?

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