Monday Y&R Transcript 4/12/04

Y&R Transcript Monday 4/12/04 -- Canada, Tuesday 4/13/04 -- U.S.A.

By Suzanne
Proofread by Emma

Kevin: Sometimes I think you should die, Mom. That's what I think sometimes.

Woman: You--you think I should die?

Kevin: I've thought about it. I have, you know? Sometimes I get so mad.

Woman: Kevin, you're scaring me.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, you know, I scare lots of women. You know, even the ones who are nice to me, you know? It's like I just wanna...


(Breathes heavily)

Lauren: That wasn't a very hot good-bye at the coffeehouse, was it?

Paul: Well, it didn't make me feel particularly good.

Lauren: Me either.

Paul: At least we agree on one thing. It's amazing to me how Kevin Fisher spreads his poison.

Lauren: How do you mean?

Paul: Well, look what he's done to us. You and I find each other after all these years, and things are great. At least they're great for me.

Lauren: You know how I feel.

Paul: This kid gets us to turn on each other. We're fighting over Kevin Fisher. How does he do it?

Lauren: Well, he's out of the picture now, isn't he? I don't even know if he's gonna come back, so what's our excuse now?

Paul: You know, Lauren, part of me wants him to come back so he can face trial and pay for what he's done.

Lauren: And what's the other part?

Paul: The other part wishes that he would fall in a black hole, perhaps. I mean, nothing painless, but something very permanent.


Victor: So all those years you wanted my child.

Ashley: Yes, and you know that.

Victor: In spite of what you--

Ashley: I did what I did because I loved you. At the time, I thought Nikki was seriously ill, and she desperately needed you. You couldn't leave her. I didn't want to complicate your life with a child born out of wedlock, and I was young. I didn't think I could handle raising a child on my own. And I didn't think I could handle facing the public outcry. Believe me, if I had to make that choice today, it would be completely different.

Victor: Well, I guess you have done that now.

Ashley: I'm really so very sorry. I never meant to hurt you.

Victor: I see that now, but it doesn't answer anything, does it? It just raises a lot of questions.

Ashley: Try not to hate me.

Victor: Look at me. I can never hate you. In spite of what has happened, I can never hate you. But what do I do now?

Ashley: I'm sorry.

Victor: I mean, I can't ignore the fact that your beautiful Abby is my child.


J.T.: Wow. Look at this place. Hey, so what's the name of that boulevard again? Ca... Something.

Shiloh: Cahuenga.

J.T.: Yeah, Cahuenga, right. And then the other one is La Cienega?

Shiloh: Aha, see? You're starting to sound like a native already.

J.T.: I don't know, Shiloh. This place is too much. Even the street names are cooler than back home.

Shiloh: Does that mean you're liking it so far?

J.T.: What's not to like? You have palm trees, fast cars, gorgeous women everywhere I look. I can definitely be happy in a place like this.

Shiloh: Yeah, well, L.A. Will do that to you. It's the most exciting city in the world.

J.T.: Not that you're biased or anything.

Shiloh: Oh, just a little.

J.T.: What time we getting back to the hotel? I want to walk around, check out the strip at night.

Shiloh: That depends on how the rest of the day goes.

J.T.: So you said I have to meet with some people?

Shiloh: Including the president of Beach Front Records.

J.T.: Oh, right. Why am I feeling nervous all of a sudden?

Shiloh: Don't be, J.T., Okay? Listen, when Ian and the rest of them get here, just be yourself. Try and relax. It's all about chemistry. They're gonna ask you some questions. You're gonna ask them some questions. They want to make sure that you're a good investment.

J.T.: Investment.

Shiloh: Mm-hmm.

J.T.: Got it.

Shiloh: Hey, you'll do fine, J.T., and if you need anything, I'll be right here.

J.T.: Thanks.

Shiloh: Here we are.

Man: You must be the one Shiloh’s been raving about.

Shiloh: J.T. Hellstrom, Ian Gardner, the president of Beach Front Records.

J.T.: Nice to meet you, Mr. Gardner.

Ian: Please, call me Ian. And it's good to meet you, J.T.

Shiloh: And this is Stephanie Burke. She's in charge of new talent development.

Stephanie: Hi. Very nice to meet you.

J.T.: How you doin'? Thanks.

Shiloh: Ryan Vanderbilt, head of promotion.

Ryan: J.T., It's a pleasure.

J.T.: Good to meet you.

Ian: Good. Well, now that's out of the way, we should all sit down, hmm?

Ryan: Yeah.

Ian: Got a lot to talk about. And we're all very anxious to get to know our new star.

Stephanie: Yes, we are.


Woman: Kevin, please, just calm down.

Kevin: You never once stood up for me. You know, when dad was wailing on me or locking me in that closet or calling me names, where were you?

Woman: I wanted him to stop.

Kevin: No, no, no. You wished that he'd stop. If you wanted it to stop, you would have done something.

Woman: I couldn't.

Kevin: You could have divorced him.

Woman: Well, I didn't-- I didn't want to be a single mother.

Kevin: Do you think that I wanted to be a battered kid? How much worse off would we have been on our own, you know?

Woman: Tom was a bad man, I guess.

Kevin: You guess?

Woman: Yeah.

Kevin: You guess, but you're still hoping that he'll walk through that door, you know, next week, next year. You'd take him back in a second.

Woman: Oh, you don't know what I’d do.

Kevin: Oh, you know, you really know how to pick 'em, Mom. You know what I mean? Mikey's Dad wasn't much better than Tom the terrible.

Woman: Michael? Do you ever see him? Oh, what a smart boy.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, as a matter of fact, I do see him. He's a successful lawyer.

Woman: Really? That's wonderful.

Kevin: Yeah. He's a little messed up, but he survives.

Woman: Well, you know why, don't you? I mean, he's put all the past behind him. So now, Kevin, look, once it's done and you can't change it, that's the only choice you've got.

Kevin: That sounds nice, Mom. Yeah, and you know, if i felt this guilty, as you ought to, if I knew that I allowed a little boy to be terrorized and abused for all those years, that is exactly what I would do. But the problem is, the problem for me is, is that I am that little boy. And I wear that pain all over me, and it is not something that I can take out of my pocket and throw away, because it's in me, okay? It is me. How do you think that feels?


Shiloh: I told J.T. precisely why we would be such a good fit for someone like him.

Ian: Well, given your background, I think we can do a lot for you.

Stephanie: He certainly does have a nice look. Head shots?

Shiloh: No. I scheduled a shoot.

Stephanie: What about studio time?

Shiloh: I booked room 5.

Ryan: How many samples?

Shiloh: Two.

Ian: Make it three.

Shiloh: Three it is.

J.T.: Samples-- we're recording today?

Ian: We're putting you on the fast track, Mr. Hellstrom. Want to see what you're made of. Think you can handle it?

J.T.: Yeah, sure. You know, it's just a lot to take in all at once.

Ian: Well, you'll be working with Shiloh, and she's one of our best. You'll do just fine.

Shiloh: That is exactly what i keep telling him.

Ian: Before we turn you loose, any questions?

J.T.: Yeah, just one.

Ian: Sure. Let's hear it.

J.T.: If this works out, you're not gonna try to change me, are you?

Ian: How do you mean?

J.T.: Well, you know, like the music I play, the way I look. You're not gonna stick me with four other guys and turn us into the next boy band, are you?

Shiloh: Oh!

J.T.: Not that-- I'm not sounding ungrateful. It's just, you know...

Ian: It's a perfectly fair question, J.T., And the answer is no. We don't do makeovers. We won't try and mold you to fit a certain image. Now we may offer a suggestion or two or tell you when we don't feel something is working, but in the end, you are who you are.

Shiloh: That's right.

J.T.: That's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Ian: Good. Now the three of us have to get back to work, and you two have a very big afternoon ahead

J.T.: Thanks for everything.

Ian: It's my pleasure. We'll talk soon.

J.T.: All right, thank you.

Ryan: Welcome aboard.

Stephanie: It's so nice to meet you.

J.T.: You too.

Ryan: Bye, Shiloh.

Shiloh: Bye. You were great.

J.T.: Yeah, really?

Shiloh: Yeah, you handled that brilliantly. They loved you.

J.T.: So what's next?

Shiloh: We get busy turning you into a star. Come on, let's go.

J.T.: Okay.


Lauren: You know, this need of yours to get Kevin at all costs disturbs me.

Paul: You know, I don't get this. He confessed to you. Why am i so wrong to want to put him away?

Lauren: I'm not saying that your heart isn't in the right place. It's your method.

Paul: Well, if I remember correctly, you were very eager to sign on to my method. You were the one that wanted to accept his invitation to the Valentine’s Day party so you could pull a confession out of the kid. I tried to talk you out of it.

Lauren: You're right. Absolutely, but that is when I thought that Kevin was a monster. Now I know him.

Paul: Oh, now that you know he's a human being. Charles Manson is a human being. What's your point?


Woman: I'm sorry that you're in so much pain, Kevin. I really am.

Kevin: But since it's too late to do anything about it, let's forget the whole thing.

Woman: Well, I know that sounds kind of mean, but, yes, I me, if you've got an idea for something else that we can do about it, I'll listen.

Kevin: No, no, you're right. You're right. Let's drop it. If I am filled with hate and resentment and I can't get along with people and I can't have a normal relationship with a woman and I feel like killing myself half the time, well, that's my problem at this point. You can't fix that.

Woman: I wish that you didn't feel so bad.

Kevin: Well, there you go wishing again.

Woman: Well, what else am I supposed to do?

Kevin: I don't know, Mom. I don't know.

Woman: Look, I've known people who've been through a lot and they still turned out okay. You remember my friend Loretta Meyerson? She and her family, they had it so bad between one thing and another, I'm surprised any one of them survived. But her boy is in medical school, and that little girl she adopted, that crack baby, remember? That girl is writing for the newspaper. All right, I don't read it much, but I hear she's really good.

Kevin: Gee, Mom, you know, I always knew that I was a failure, but it wasn't until this moment that I realized exactly how much of a failure I was. So thank you. Thank you for straightening that out.


Sierra: You know, it's too bad you couldn't go to L.A. with J.T.

Lily: Yeah, I know he would have loved having you along.

Colleen: Yeah, I know, but it's for the best. I mean, he's got meetings and photo shoots and that stuff.

Lily: But wouldn't you at least like to be out there with him?

Colleen: Yeah, of course. I mean, this is a big deal for J.T. I would have loved to be out there with him, but...

Lily: So why don't you just go out there then?

Sierra: Yeah, surprise him.

Lily: Yeah, come on, Coll. You know you want to.


Victor: How much does Nikki know exactly?

Ashley: Why do you ask?

Victor: Curious.

Ashley: You're just curious?

Victor: What do you think?

Ashley: I think I don't want to say anything that's gonna make things worse.

Victor: Did you honestly think you could keep this secret from me indefinitely?

Ashley: You don't have to tell me how unrealistic that was.

Victor: I'm sure you've heard it often.

Ashley: Yep, more times than I can count.

Victor: And then you decided it was no longer right to keep this secret from the real father?

Ashley: I decided that after I had that breakdown.

Victor: What changed your mind?

Ashley: When I realized that you were the only one that I responded to. And I don't understand the psychological dynamic of that, but I just... I felt that I owed you. I owed you the truth.

Victor: I'm sure you didn't get a lot of support for that.

Ashley: No. There's been concern over the implications of you knowing. Because of Abby.

Victor: I understand.

Ashley: How did she seem when she told you that you were her father?

Victor: She was convinced. How did she find out about this?

Ashley: I made a tape when I thought I was dying from cancer. And, um, I was watching it, and I thought she was out of the house.

Victor: And she wasn’t.

Ashley: That poor little thing. I haven't even had a chance to talk to her about it. You know, how do you explain something like that to a 6-year-old? But I have to, knowing what she's seen and heard on that tape.

Victor: Do you want me to be there?

Ashley: No.

Ashley: Brad and I are gonna sit down with her and try to make her understand.

Victor: She will never understand.

Ashley: Don't say that. Hopefully, some day she will.


Colleen: Okay, even if I wanted to go to L.A., It doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Sierra: Why not?

Lily: Yeah, is this really you talking or is it Shiloh?

Colleen: Okay, yes, I want to go, but Shiloh knows what she's doing. I mean, this is her business. And if she thinks that it's not a good idea for me to go--

Sierra: She doesn't know you or J.T.

Lily: Sierra has a point. And don't forget, he really, really wanted you to go.

Colleen: I know. Broke his heart to tell me I had to stay here. And I know that he could use the support.

Sierra: So why are you so convinced it'd be a bad idea for you to go? I mean, I don't get it.

Colleen: Because... I don't know. It just seemed that way.

Lily: Well, does it seem that way now?

Colleen: No, maybe not. You know, it is possible that he could really need me.

Lily: That's what we've been trying to tell you.

Colleen: I know, but... It's just, i don't wanna get in the way.

Sierra: You won't.

Lily: Listen, worst case scenario-- you'll go there, surprise him and put a smile on his face. Now would that be so terrible?

Colleen: Yeah, but J.T.'s already gone, and it's not like my Dad's gonna let me go out there alone.

Lily: Well, have you asked him?

Colleen: No. But he's going through some really heavy things with Ashley right now. And I don't think I should ask him.

Lily: Then don’t.

Colleen: What do you mean?

Lily: Well, if he's all stressed out, then maybe he wouldn't mind not having you around for a couple of days.

Colleen: Yeah, but I still can't fly to L.A. By myself. Unless you guys think he really wouldn't miss me.


J.T.: So I guess that's it.

Shiloh: Oh, no. We're not finished yet. Follow me.


Woman: Kevin, I'm not saying that you're a failure. You're still young. I mean, it isn't over till it's over. You can't change the past, but you have the power to make your own future.

Kevin: (Scoffs) did you get that from that stupid book you read?

Woman: What difference does it make where I got it if it's true?

Kevin: What kind of future are you making for yourself, huh?

Woman: Honey, come on. I'm not young like you.

Kevin: Yeah, but you're still hoping that Tom the loser abuser is gonna walk in and ask what's for dinner. You actually want the past back.

Woman: Tommy and me, we had some good times.

Kevin: Yeah, I guess you did, you know, when you left me locked in that closet-- that one right there-- and you went out and you didn't come home until after the bars closed. Think about what you saved on babysitters. You're so lucky.

Woman: Okay, look, if you want to drag these bad memories up and talk about them, I can't stop you. You stick around if that's what you want. Just don't break anything, don't start any fires and don't play music late at night. I don't want any trouble from the neighbors.


Paul: Okay, here's your aspirin.

Lauren: Thank you.

Paul: Lauren, I really don't want to be the reason for your headache. But I don't see where being damaged goods gives Kevin the right to get off the hook for everything he's ever done.

Lauren: It doesn’t. And what you don't understand is that I really admire how you want to help clean up the world. But I think how you do it is just as important.

Paul: Look, quickly and efficiently, that's all.

Lauren: And what about fairly and compassionately?

Paul: What have I done that is unfair?

Lauren: You made the walls close in on a guy who was feeling trapped already. You gave him no other choice but to run.

Paul: That's not true. That is not true. I told him to turn himself in and be a man.

Lauren: Oh.

Paul: I said nothing about running.

Lauren: We just see the world in such a different way.

Paul: No, we don’t. You know, you cannot save every sick puppy you run across. Because sometimes those sick puppies turn into vicious attack dogs.

Lauren: Oh, wonderful. Well, let's just put Kevin down, shall we, like some sort of unwanted stray?

Paul: Oh, God, I'm not talking about euthanasia. What is it with you women? You always reduce things to the absurd.

Lauren: Excuse me? Did I hear you right, Williams?


Victor: What do you want to be the result of all this?

Ashley: I don't know.

Victor: You must have some idea.

Ashley: I know i want some peace. For as long as I can remember, it's just been like living in a war zone. Every single day is like walking through a minefield-- careful what you say to Victor. Careful what you say to Jack. Careful what you say to Brad. You have to be careful, careful, careful. Oh, God, that's what living with a lie does, see? You're just always on the edge trying to keep the secret. It's enough to drive somebody insane. And I'm really sorry if i made your life so difficult by telling you the truth, but I just couldn't cope with it any longer. What I did was wrong... The way I got pregnant. And the lies and the deception, it was wrong. But, Victor, you have to know that I don't regret, and I will never regret, having my Abby... However she came to be.


Lily: So I got your reservation on the next flight to L.A., so you need to hurry.

Colleen: Okay, but before I go, you guys, we need to get our stories straight. My Dad cannot find out about this secret trip.

Sierra: All right, why don't you tell him you're staying with Lily, and she can cover for you?

Lily: No, there's a problem. Colleen's Dad and Ashley know both of my parents, so if they run into each other...

Colleen: That'd be bad, very bad.

Lily: Exactly.

Colleen: Well, where else could stay?

Lily: Yeah, what about you, Sierra?

Sierra: Um... I don't think so.

Lily: Listen, it's perfect, because, see, Colleen's parents trust you and they don't know your parents that well, right? What else could be better?

Colleen: Yeah, and it's not like my Dad's gonna be calling your house or anything. I'll tell him to call my cell phone. Please, Sierra, please? It's perfect.

Sierra: I don't know. I mean, if I got caught, I'd be grounded for life.

Colleen: No, you wouldn't. Look, my Dad has, like, a million things on his mind right now. He won't even know I'm gone.

Sierra: Are you sure? I mean, I really want to help. It's just--

Lily: Sierra, you're the only one who can do it. Please.

Sierra: All right, fine. I'm in.

Colleen: Thank you so much. Oh, my God, you guys. My Dad's gonna kill me. All right, well, we have a plane to catch. Oh, my gosh


Shiloh: I think I'll have the Cobb salad. How about you?

J.T.: Nothin' for me.

Shiloh: You're not hungry?

J.T.: No, I'm too excited to eat. Are you kidding me?

Shiloh: Well, I'm not gonna just sit here and let you watch me eat.

J.T.: All right, I'll have the burger.

Shiloh: That's more like it.

J.T.: Hey, have I thanked you lately?

Shiloh: Gosh, not in the last 15 minutes.

J.T.: All right, then thank you again. Honestly, today was... It was amazing, absolutely amazing.

Shiloh: And it's about to get even better. Ian called.

J.T.: (Stutters) why didn't you tell me?

Shiloh: Because I wanted you to be sitting down when I gave you the good news.

J.T.: What is it?

Shiloh: He loved the samples you recorded. He wants you back in the studio right away. You're gonna be doing a full track.

J.T.: You mean...

Shiloh: Your first single. How do you like the sound of that?

J.T.: Wow.


Paul: Look, I'm sorry. I never should have said that.

Lauren: No.

Paul: I think this would be a good time for me to, you know, grovel a little.

Lauren: I just want you to understand that if you don't treat people, even damaged people, like people, you become something else yourself.

Paul: But, Lauren, I did exactly what you're saying. I could have gone to the police, but I didn't. If I had, they could've nabbed him. He would be in jail right now on new charges based on his confession to you. And you would be standing right in front of the grand jury going back on that sacred little promise you made that maggot. I was thinking of you, and I did give him another chance to do the right thing. So where is it that I'm unreasonable, that I'm thoughtless and selfless and cruel and mean?

Lauren: I just wish that he hadn't run. I mean, it just made everything worse.

Paul: I agree. But you'll have to talk to Kevin about that. I didn't make him run.

Lauren: You helped.

Paul: If I admit I helped, can we call it a draw?

Lauren: I don't want to argue with you.

Paul: I helped. But from here on out, it's up to Kevin to do the right thing.

Lauren: And I want you to know that i have never stopped thinking that you are a really great man, Paul Williams.

Paul: And you know what? I've always thought that you were very feisty and beautiful and a sexy woman.

Lauren: You get over here right now.


Woman: Feeling better?

Kevin: No.

Woman: You want something to eat?

Kevin: No. My stomach is still... Upset. It's not you. It's... It's just this place.

Woman: What did you hope to find here?

Kevin: I don't know.

Kevin: You know, for awhile, I thought that if I killed you that would make everything better, you know? And maybe I wouldn't be so mad at everyone and everything. Don't worry. I know now that that wouldn't help.

Woman: Well, I know you think that my life is nothing much, but... I like it okay.

Kevin: That's because you cut the past off like the bad end of a banana.

Woman: Oh! Yeah, I guess, I guess you could say that.

Kevin: That's not gonna work for me, Mom. You know, you can go on and you can continue to live in your pink and fuzzy little world of denial. I wish that I could be there with you, but, um... But I can’t.

Woman: Are you leaving?

Kevin: Yeah, yeah. That's a relief, huh?

Woman: How about a hug before you go?

Kevin: Uh, I don't think that's a good idea.


Victor: You have an adorable and beautiful daughter.

Ashley: She is. I love her dearly.

Victor: I know you do.

Ashley: So does Brad. We have a good family.

Victor: But he's not her father.

Ashley: Not biologically. But Abby’s had only one daddy, and that's Brad.

Victor: That's not satisfactory.

Ashley: What are you saying?

Victor: Abby is my child.

Ashley: You didn't even know that until yesterday.

Victor: I know I didn't, but I know now, and I should have known a long time ago.

Ashley: Don't make me regret telling you.

Victor: You told me how insufferable it was to keep this a secret. Now you've let me know. That has certain repercussions, changes everything.

Ashley: It doesn't have to change anything, Victor. Nothing has to change.

Victor: Yes, it does. I have another daughter. And I want my child.

Ashley: Victor, you cannot mean what you're saying right now. Please tell me you don't mean this.

Victor: I mean it. I want you to leave right now.

Ashley: No. Victor, you can't take our baby away from us. Please, don't even say that. You cannot take our baby away from us.

Victor: You and I have a lot of things to think about, so please leave right now.


Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Sierra: This is gonna be such a great surprise.

Colleen: Yeah, it is.


Shiloh: If a reporter asks if you're dating anyone, say no comment.


Sharon: I have to be absolutely certain he's dead.

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