Tuesday Y&R Transcript 3/16/04

Y&R Transcript Tuesday 3/9/04--Canada; Wednesday 3/10/04--USA

BY Eric
Proofread by Emma

Jill: Katherine, Mother, are you home?

Kay: I'm in here, Jill.

Jill: Oh, what are you reading?

Kay: "From Here to Eternity."

Jill: God, it's a long book.

Kay: Oh, please, I'm just kidding. Besides, what do you care how long it is? You're afraid I'll be passing on before I have a chance to finish it?

Jill: Did I say that? Where do you come up with this stuff?

Kay: Shh, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill, I am teasing you, relax. Teasing you.

Jill: You're teasing me? That means you must be in a very good mood today.

Kay: Yes, yes, I feel wonderful.

Jill: Well, I'm glad, because I haven't seen you since I got back from Atlanta, and before I left, I was very concerned about you.

Kay: Yes, you were concerned, overly concerned. Things are going along very well, quite well, in fact.

Jill: Well, that is great, and I'll bet I know why. It's because you haven't been drinking, have you?

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Jack: Thank you for coming by so quickly. Please, help yourself to some coffee. (Doorbell rings)

Jack: I'll get this. Let me take your coat. Damon's already here.

Dru: Thank you, it's cold! Tell me I didn't miss anything. I want all the details.

Jack: The details of our breakfast board meeting? Well, how do I put it succinctly? It was a disaster.

Dru: You were outvoted?

Jack: Yeah, 5 to 1. They all agreed to accept Newmanís offer.

Dru: Even Brad?

Jack: Oh, yeah, the one guy I was counting on folded on me.

Damon: Victor's due back, isn't he?

Jack: Yeah, we're running out of time.

Dru: Well, let's look on the bright side, folks.

Jack: Is there a bright side?

Damon: $75 mil's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

Jack: Well, I don't know about that. Actually, that's why you're here. I wanted to remind you two of our agreement.

Dru: Right and we're gonna support you in holding out for a better settlement from Newman.

Jack: And in return, I will fight for our little project in the lab.

Damon: Putting you and your sister on a collision course.

Jack: Well, don't worry about that right now. The two of us have already butted heads on this hair straightener. We're in full battle mode now.

Dru: Wait, she won't back down?

Jack: Not with four board members behind her, no, which is why we gotta start playing serious hardball.

Damon: We're on your side, Jack, you know that.

Dru: What can we do?

Jack: Well, come on. You're not board members, but you certainly have some pull around the place.

Dru: Uh, my pull with your sister equates to a big, fat goose egg. She doesn't like me, in case you haven't noticed.

Damon: I'm not so sure she's too fond of me, either.

Jack: Well, my sister is just one board member. Gung ho as she is about accepting Victor's offer, the other four may be more vulnerable to changing their minds.

Damon: Brad and Jill?

Jack: Or my old man and Nikki. Look, I need you to let them know how you feel, what you think. Appeal to their reason. Hell, appeal to their greed. I don't really care. We are playing a game of "survivor" here. If we can get three of the four of them to change sides, we can vote Ashley off the island and turn this whole thing around.

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Paul: All right, here you go. Just a touch of honey and lemon.

Chris: Thank you.

Paul: And thank you for bringing over these receipts. What made you look in the drawer? I never would have known where to find them.

Chris: Well, I figured they might come in handy when you're getting ready to do your taxes.

Paul: Oh, yeah, I've been putting that off as long as I possibly can.

Chris: April 15th is less than a month away.

Paul: Oh, right. Don't tell me, you've already filed.

Chris: I got my refund check yesterday.

Paul: That's disgusting.

Chris: No, it's called being organized. You should try it.

Paul: Oh, really? (Cellular phone rings)

Paul: Excuse me. (Ring)

Paul: Let's see, what did I do with the phone? (Ring)

Paul: Paul Williams. Yeah, Cal, what's up? He was, when? What was the charge? Hey, thanks for calling me, and do me a favor, will you? Keep me posted. Yeah, you, too. Bye. Well, well, well, what do you know?

Chris: Is everything okay?

Paul: Yeah, actually better than okay. Do you remember when I asked you if the name Kevin Fisher meant anything to you?

Chris: Yeah.

Paul: Well, that was one of my contacts over at the police department. They just arrested him.

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Hank: Thank you, officer.

Kevin: Can you please take these off now?

Hank: No, not yet.

Kevin: Right, I'm such a dangerous guy, you're worried I'm gonna attack you.

Hank: I'm not worried about anything, but you should be.

Kevin: Yeah, I'm scared out of my wits. Are you happy?

Hank: Let me ask the questions.

Kevin: You know, we can keep this really simple. You've got the wrong guy, end of interrogation. See? No sweat.

Hank: But then I have a girl with a permanent scar on her face, a girl who easily could have been killed.

Kevin: I didn't do anything to Brittany.

Hank: And the person who did it is still out walking the streets? Mnh-mnh, that doesn't work for me. I need to see that guy in a room with bars on the door and bars on the window.

Kevin: What? No, no, no, no, donít.

Hank: What, talk about prison? You don't like the idea of being locked up in a small gray room?

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Dru: Let me ask you a question, Jack.

Jack: Shoot.

Dru: Why aren't we focusing on Ashley? I mean, she is key here, and if we get her to turn the corner, why, everyone else will follow suit, right?

Jack: I think you're forgetting how stubborn my sister can be.

Dru: What is the likelihood of you being able to stop her from pulling the plug on our research?

Jack: I promise you, I'm gonna give it my all. I want the same promise from you for me.

Damon: And if Ashley kills our research just the same?

Jack: Well, as I said to her, I'm a little higher the pecking order than she is.

Dru: Which means you can overrule her decision.

Jack: Look, this whole thing would be a hell of a lot easier if we had the hundreds of millions Newman should be getting us instead of the $75 million they're all settling for.

Damon: Looks like we got our work cut out for us.

Dru: If there's a will, there's a way, Damon, and quite frankly, I am loaded with will. I'll see you guys later.

Jack: Yeah, keep me posted.

Dru: I will.

Damon: I'll be in touch.

Jack: Damon, just a minute. There's something else I want to talk to you about.

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Kevin: You know, I could do this a lot easier without the handcuffs.

Hank: I bet you could. You know, Kevin, science the way it is, it's just a matter of time. These days, you touch something and, boo-yah, we got you. You breathe on something, it's like you took a photo of yourself standing there red-handed.

Kevin: Well, hey, man, bring on the science. I'm not in that photo. Someone else may be, but not me.

Hank: Well, who else, Kevin? You admitted you were angry at Bobby Marsino.

Kevin: So what?

Hank: You know, you're not taking this nearly seriously enough, son.

Kevin: How could I? It's a joke. It's not a funny joke. It's not even the least bit funny.

Hank: If those cutters match the marks left on the wires at Marsino's, you think that'll be funny?

Kevin: They won't, okay? They canít. It's impossible.

Hank: Yeah, I heard that before.

Kevin: And why did you confiscate a pair of my shoes? What's up with that?

Hank: Let me ask you a question about the day Miss Hodges was injured. Now you told me previously that you got fired in the morning, and then you left. You made some threats, and--

Kevin: I didn't make any threats.

Hank: So I'm wondering, how could you have been there to wire up that pole at Marsino's?

Kevin: Yeah, I'm wondering, too.

Hank: So, Kevin, are you sure you left in the morning, and you didn't come back?

Kevin: Yes, Weber, I'm positive.

Hank: Think about it.

Kevin: I don't have to.

Hank: Maybe you should, because I have a witness who saw you at Marsino's club that afternoon.

Kevin: What? What?

Hank: Yeah.

Kevin: There's no way! That's impossible! That's impossible!

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Chris: Kevin Fisher was arrested?

Paul: Yeah, the cops searched his apartment earlier. They must have found something.

Chris: What's the charge?

Paul: Right now, aggravated battery.

Chris: This is because of that incident at the strip club?

Paul: How do you know about that?

Chris: Michael came to see me yesterday at my apartment.

Paul: Oh, I see. Did he also tell you that he and Fisher are half brothers?

Chris: I'm sure you can imagine my surprise after all these years. He's never mentioned a sibling.

Paul: Yeah, well, they're not exactly that close.

Chris: Still, you think you know someone... anyway, you must be thrilled. I know how hard you've been working to nail this guy.

Paul: Well, let me put it this way. I will sleep a lot better knowing he's off the streets.

Chris: Do the police have a strong case?

Paul: I don't know. You tell me, Ms. Assistant D.A. You might be prosecuting this one.

Chris: Great.

Paul: Oh, what's the matter? Now don't tell me that Baldwin gave you some sob story about his brother, and now you're feeling sorry for the guy.

Chris: No.

Paul: Well, then why so glum?

Chris: I'm just tired, all right? I didn't sleep very well last night.

Paul: Are you sure that's all it is?

Chris: Do you have a theory you'd care to share?

Paul: Well, I was just wondering if it might have something to do with Danny.

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Kay: As I have said before, Jill, my drinking is not your problem. It is mine, but if it will make you feel better, I do have it under control.

Jill: Under control? That makes me very nervous, Mother.

Kay: Don't let it.

Jill: Look, you need to commit not to drink.

Kay: And you need to commit not to nag me.

Jill: How can I do that when I'm worried sick over you?

Kay: Well, then just don't worry about... look at me. I mean, just look at me. What do you see?

Jill: What's different about... oh, you had your hair done and your makeup. You look fantastic!

Kay: Well, Arthur arranged a day at the spa for me. He dropped me off-- hair, facial and that sort of thing. And I feel completely rejuvenated.

Jill: He did that for you?

Kay: Well, he's a very special man, your father.

Jill: Yes, he is, isn't he?

Kay: So, daughter dear, tell me about your trip. We haven't spoken since you came back, what, yesterday, wasn't it?

Jill: Yeah, it was yesterday, and I was at the office all day long. And then this morning I had a very early breakfast meeting at the Abbott house. My God, things are so hectic.

Kay: Well, you shouldn't let it overwhelm you.

Jill: Well, it's hard not to when Jabot is in complete turmoil right now.

Kay: Yeah, but you can't get overstressed. I mean, my God, watch your blood pressure. That's becoming more and more a problem of women these days, you know, the blood pressure.

Jill: We're talking just like mother and daughter. How amazing is that?

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Damon: What's up?

Jack: First of all, I want to thank you for your loyalty and support.

Damon: You've been through the wringer this week, haven't you?

Jack: Yeah, there's the understatement of the century.

Damon: Jack, I wish there was more I could do.

Jack: Perhaps there is.

Damon: You got something in mind?

Jack: Dru was right. My sister Ash is the key to this whole thing. I sense that you might have a better chance of getting through to her than Dru does.

Damon: (Chortles) I don't know about that.

Jack: Oh, come on. From all I hear, you have quite a way with the ladies.

Damon: And you don't, sir?

Jack: Well, not with this particular lady and certainly not this particular week.

Damon: Yeah, well, see, the trouble is, Ashley and I have never quite seen eye to eye either.

Jack: You're talking about her take on your research?

Damon: Yes, that. And the lab is her territory. She still views me as an interloper.

Jack: I admit that does make the job more challenging.

Damon: Yeah, quite a bit.

Jack: I'm a little desperate here, okay? I need you to work your magic on my sister.

Damon: Jack, you are not suggesting that I seduce Ashley, are you?

Jack: No, nothing like that.

Damon: That's good, I mean, 'cause the last thing I need is an irate husband after me.

Jack: Yeah, I was kind of counting on her husband to change her mind.

Damon: Sounds more like she's changed his.

Jack: Yeah, I guess he feels grateful to Victor for helping pull her through. She was in a bad way, as you know.

Damon: Not to mention, it probably keeps things calmer around the home front, huh?

Jack: Anyway, you appear to be our last, best hope.

Damon: I-I'll give it the old college try.

Jack: That's all I can ask. Stay in touch, huh?

Damon: You got it.

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Dru: Hi, John.

Dru: The rumors are true.

Ashley: What rumors?

Dru: That you're back in the saddle. You look great. How do you feel?

Ashley: I feel great, but I think you've known for awhile I've been back.

Dru: Well, I thought perhaps we would have passed each other in the halls. Had I known you were back in the building, I would have looked you up.

Ashley: I don't mean to be rude, but I'm rather swamped today. Anything in particular you want to talk about?

Dru: Well, as a matter of fact, there is. You know, I heard about Victor Newmanís settlement. $75 million, that's not chump change. And quite frankly, Jabot could use the money right about now, don't you think?

Ashley: So what's your point?

Dru: Well, I know you think we ought to accept the offer, avoid court, legal expenditures, take the money sooner than later, am I right?

Ashley: Boy, you really have your ear to the ground, don't you?

Dru: Knowledge is power.

Ashley: Yeah, but that was supposed to be a closed discussion among board members. Obviously we have a leak that needs to be addressed quickly.

Dru: I know that I'm not one of your favorite colleagues, but we are on the same team. Therefore, let's do what's best for Jabot.

Ashley: And what do you think that is, in your humble opinion?

Dru: In my opinion, whatever causes the least amount of friction, whatever brings people together instead of apart.

Ashley: Oh, so you must be saying that you're in my corner.

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Kevin: Oh, man. All right, all right, fine. Fine, here it comes.

Hank: Here comes what?

Kevin: The lies. Who told you they saw me there?

Hank: You'll find out in court.

Kevin: Oh, God, I can't even believe this is happening. No, not again! Mikey, Mikey, Mikey, thank God you're here! Weber's gone crazy. He's making stuff up.

Michael: Calm down.

Kevin: He's saying that I did stuff that I...

Michael: Calm down! Detective Weber, what's going on here? Why is Mr. Fisher being interrogated without his attorney present?

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Chris: Why do you automatically assume that my mood has to do with Danny?

Paul: Aha, so you admit something is wrong.

Chris: I have a lot on my mind, but, no, this has nothing to do with Danny. Actually, things between us are great.

Paul: Well, glad to hear it, because you know I want you to be happy.

Chris: Thank you.

Paul: So do you want to talk about what is bothering you?

Chris: I'm not sure myself.

Paul: I read in the newspaper about Victor's hearing. I would think you'd be smiling from ear to ear. You won your first major case.

Chris: Did I?

Paul: You got the guy to plead guilty. That's no small feat. Plus, I'm sure he's happy.

Chris: Why would you say that?

Paul: Well, he wasn't turned over to the feds. He got off with a slap on the wrist.

Chris: It was a little bit more than a slap on the wrist.

Paul: Oh, yeah, community service.

Chris: Paul, I'm sure Jabot is planning to file for civil damages.

Paul: Whatever. I'm sure it is just a drop in the bucket for Victor Newman. He should be thanking his lucky stars. He could be locked away in a jail cell somewhere, but instead he's a free man, all thanks to you. You know, if I'm ever arrested for commercial bribery, I certainly hope you're assigned to my case. (Chuckles)

Chris: You think that's funny?

Paul: What?

Chris: Your attitude. You act like I went easy on him, like I wasn't doing my job because I was dealing with the all-mighty Victor Newman.

Paul: Oh, no, I didn't mean to sug--

Chris: Let me just tell you something. I didn't treat him any differently than I would have treated anyone else. If you don't like the judge's ruling, you take it up with him. I did the best I could.

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Dru: I just think it's so sad, you know, all the fussing and fighting, when the answers for Jabot are right here in our faces.

Ashley: You mean the $75 million that Victor--

Dru: Oh, never mind the $75 million. I'm talking about the fact that you are the president of this company. You carry a lot of clout, along with your brother. And here I have siblings locking horns. It's not gonna work.

Ashley: So you're not gonna answer my question about whose side you're on in this disagreement.

Dru: I'm on Jabot's side. I'm on the Abbott family side, your family, who has been so good to me through thick and thin, even when Aunt Mamie got me off the street and gave me a home. And on some level, I've gotta tell you, Ashley, I feel like I'm a part of the Abbott family, believe it or not. And so when I feel all of this tension, I feel like I have to say something. I can't sit idle.

Ashley: So what do you want from me? Obviously, you want something.

Dru: I want you to consider your brother Jack and everything that he has gone through. Now, listen, I know your whole family has suffered, but I've watched this man ache, ache for you and for Brad, on such a soulful level. I think that's why he's so determined to see justice where Newmanís concerned.

Ashley: Oh, you call that justice?

Dru: He's going through a divorce. My God. I mean, regardless of what you and I think about Phyllis, she is the love of his life, and he is devastated behind this. And he needs a win, Ashley, and this could be it for him.

Ashley: You mean me backing down and doing things his way?

Dru: Why not, why not? I mean, it's only taken a lifetime for him to get this opportunity. How is it gonna hurt you to support him?

Ashley: You almost finished?

Dru: No, not quite, not quite. I want you to think about your position. I want you to think about the hard line you took with your brother in persuading an entire board to vote him down. Now I think you're an intelligent woman. And with that intelligence, I expect you to make the right decision. And maybe, just maybe, you need to reconsider what that is.

Ashley: Okay, well, I heard you out, and now I've got a question for you.

Dru: What?

Ashley: Did Jack put you up to this? Tell me the truth.

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Phyllis: Oh, stop, stop, stop it! Stop it. (Door opens)

Phyllis: (Whistles) oh, hi.

Damon: Hey. How did you...

Phyllis: Um, I should have waited out in the hall, I know

Damon: You found the key I hid.

Phyllis: It comes from all those years of hacking into computer security. I'm doing you a favor.

Damon: Oh, is that right?

Phyllis: Yeah.

Damon: Well, thank you, I think. How long have you been here?

Phyllis: Oh, just a little while. This is getting so old, isn't it? That I'm running over here to... every time I need a big, broad shoulder to lean on... listen, if you need your space, I'll just...

Damon: Phyllis, why don't you stay?

Phyllis: Yeah?

Damon: Yeah, I would like you to.

Phyllis: Oh, hey, okay. Well, if you insist, I'll stay.

Damon: You've been crying. You want to tell me why?

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Jill: I have to admit, you make an excellent cup of tea, Mother.

Kay: I'm glad you approve.

Jill: I'm very proud of you.

Kay: Why, because I make good tea?

Jill: No, because you're getting your life together and that makes me so happy.

Kay: Well, I'm glad.

Jill: Oh, that's where Arthur must have been-- driving you to the salon-- when I called him. I left a message. I wonder why he hasn't called me back. (Doorbell rings)

Kay: I think you're about to get your answer.

Jill: Hello. Your ears must be burning. Mother and I were just talking about you.

Arthur: Now forgive me for not returning your call, but I thought I'd be seeing you here, and I'd much rather talk to my beautiful daughter in person. Hello, Katherine. Jill, your mother and I have news.

Jill: News?

Arthur: Oh, yes, very exciting news, isn't it, Katherine?

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Hank: Your brother was apprised of his rights. He chose to speak to me and answer a few questions.

Kevin: Well, I told them there was only one answer, Mikey. I didn't do it.

Michael: I'm telling you... I'm telling you, when they say, "whatever you say can and will be used against you in a court of law," that's exactly what they mean. It will be used against you, never for you. That's why you don't talk.

Kevin: Yeah, then you sound even more guilty.

Michael: No, then you sound smart, so control yourself and let me talk to the nice detective. Can we take these cuffs off?

Michael: So what are the charges?

Hank: Aggravated battery, at least. Could be attempted murder.

Michael: We're talking about the incident at Marsino's.

Hank: Yes. Mr. Fisher, sit down.

Michael: Based on what evidence?

Hank: We got a search warrant for Mr. Fisher's apartment.

Michael: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute. Another search warrant? You were just there looking for pieces of wire.

Hank: Yes, a second search warrant.

Michael: Hmm, Hank, you sure you're not persecuting this man?

Kevin: Seriously.

Hank: I got some information and decided to have another look. You don't like it, you can talk to the judge who issued the warrant.

Michael: I'm sure I will.

Hank: So you gonna be representing Mr. Fisher?

Michael: Yes, I am.

Hank: Seems to me you're not in much of a position to represent anyone, Mr. Baldwin. Word is, you're about to have your license suspended.

Michael: Let's cross that bridge when we come to it, Detective.

Hank: You know, I've never had a brother defending a brother before. That mean you two grew up together?

Michael: Is there a point to this?

Hank: Let's face it, Mr. Baldwin, you know this kid. You know he's a bad apple.

Kevin: His mind is made up, Mikey. He's gonna nail me for something if it kills him.

Hank: Oh, no, it wonít. Believe me.

Kevin: He says he's got a witness--

Michael: All right, Kevin! You have a witness?

Hank: Yes, placing Mr. Fisher at Marsino's in the afternoon at a time which he claims he wasn't there.

Kevin: I wasnít. I swear to you, I wasnít.

Michael: All right, all right. You gonna tell me who this witness is?

Hank: Of course not, Mr. Baldwin. You'll find out in court.

Michael: Fine, you want to play it that way, let's get to the bail hearing.

Hank: No, no, no, no, not so fast. There will be a bail hearing, but not right now.

Michael: What? Okay, this is going downhill real fast. Why the hell not?

Kevin: Mikey, Mikey, please, don't let him keep me here.

Michael: It's okay.

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Chris: I don't know why I did that.

Paul: No, I am sorry.

Chris: No, I should be the one that's apologizing.

Paul: I didn't mean to imply that you were handling Victor with kid gloves.

Chris: I know you didn't, I know you didnít.

Paul: I bet you tore up that courtroom. I bet you did one hell of a job in there.

Chris: All right, stop, stop. I didn't mean to jump down your throat. I... things have been a little rough these past few weeks. The case took a lot out of me, a lot more than I thought it would.

Paul: Well, come on, Chris, cut yourself some slack. I mean, it's not every day you go after the head of some international conglomerate. You know, I bet you next time, when you get a--

Chris: I don't know that there will be a next time.

Paul: What? What are you saying?

Chris: I am starting to think that maybe prosecutorial work may not be for me.

Paul: Don't you think you're just a little burned out, and that's all?

Chris: No, it's more than that. This job isn't what I expected. Yes, it is great helping people, to bring them to justice, but if every case is gonna be like this, I can't do it. It's too draining.

Paul: Well, what are you gonna do?

Chris: I haven't decided. Stick it out, I guess, and hope it gets better.

Paul: You know what? I'm sure it will. New jobs are always hard, and this whole thing with Victor Newman, I mean, you were just thrown in the deep end. I think you should stick with it, and you'll see, it'll work out fine. And if it doesn't, then you can do something else. I'll support you.

Chris: I should get going.

Paul: All right, will you let me know if there's anything I can do to help?

Chris: I will. I'll show myself out.

Paul: All right.

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Michael: All right, Detective, you give me one good reason why we're not in a bail hearing right now.

Hank: Come on, Counselor, you know better than that. I gotta book this guy first.

Michael: That takes care of 20 minutes. What next?

Hank: And I have three other cases I'm juggling.

Michael: Get help. Not our problem. You can't hold this man without due process.

Hank: And I still have to wait for his fingerprints to clear in Washington.

Michael: (Chortles) you're crazy funny, Detective, you really are. You crack me up. Are you telling me you haven't run my client's fingerprints at least ten times? You had a grand jury order him to take a blood test in a case involving sex with a minor, and you didn't run his prints?

Hank: What I did then was then, Mr. Baldwin. Right now I gotta play by the book.

Michael: This isn't right, Hank. You're dragging your feet.

Hank: There's only one thing I'm doing, Mr. Baldwin. I've got a beautiful young girl who was permanently disfigured, and I gotta put the nut job in jail who did it to her before he does it to the next person who gets in his way.

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Phyllis: Crying, me? I'm not crying.

Damon: Are we gonna be real here?

Phyllis: (Chuckles) remember how I told you that things couldn't get worse, that I hit rock bottom, and things couldn't get worse? I was wrong, I was wrong. Before, I could at least fantasize about spending time with my son, and now that's out the window. So if we're talking in terms of absolute rock bottom...

Damon: Phyllis, why don't you tell me what happened?

Phyllis: Okay, um, remember, we talked about, um, seeing my son? You said that if I wanted to reconnect with him that I should go to Danny, and I should be firm, and I should demand it. I did that. I took your advice.

Damon: You went to your ex-husband?

Phyllis: And his sister. Yeah, and I told her why I have the right, since I've changed as a person, to build a relationship with my son.

Damon: They wouldn't listen?

Phyllis: Actually, that... no, Gina--Gina was great. She was sympathetic. She sympathized with me, that's what she said. She told me she sympathized with me. And Danny--Danny was, um, he was...

Damon: He was what?

Phyllis: Danny was kind. Danny was kind to me. And when he said he was sorry, I actually believed him.

Damon: Sorry? Sorry for what? For refusing to allow you to see your own son?

Phyllis: No, Danny actually was going to allow it.

Damon: You lost me.

Phyllis: I, uh, ran into Danny at the coffeehouse after he had a conversation with our son about the three of us getting together. And Daniel said no.

Phyllis: Isn't that hilarious? Danny, my son, said, "screw you, Mom."

Damon: So Daniel...

Phyllis: Yeah, Daniel is the one who doesn't want to see me.

Phyllis: He even threatened not to visit if his father forced him. (Giggles)

Phyllis: That's it, voilŗ. That's over. It's probably my punishment, right? All these years dreaming about seeing my son again, that's over. My own flesh and blood doesn't want to see me. My own son doesn't want to see me. My own son wishes I were dead. It's kind of funny, right?

Damon: You could cry. You can. It's okay.

Phyllis: I can't cry. I'm afraid I'll never stop.

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Ashley: So did he?

Dru: Don't be ridiculous. Like Jack would ask me to talk to you about this.

Ashley: That's a good point. However, I'm having a really hard time believing that you actually buy what you're saying to me, that we should turn down that much money at a time when we obviously need it so badly to accept some pie-in-the-sky deal that might take years to collect on, if we ever do, all for Abbott family harmony? I don't know. It just doesn't ring true, especially coming from you.

Dru: Are you calling me a liar?

Ashley: I smell a rat. Maybe its name is Jackie. Maybe it isnít. Either way, butt out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jill: So we're celebrating sparkling water, flutes and all?

Arthur: Oh, yes, this is a momentous occasion.

Jill: Momentous?

Arthur: This is the day when we three truly become a family. Let's toast to that.

Arthur: Well, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.

Jill: Yeah, but I'm not sure what this celebration is about.

Arthur: Your mother and I have a surprise for you. Now we're both very pleased about it, and we hope you will be, too.

Kay: Well, we've decided... actually, Arthur would like to move in here, Jill, with us. I was totally, totally against it at first, and...

Jill: You changed her mind?

Arthur: I can be very persuasive. Now isn't it wonderful, Jill? She's agreed.

Jill: I see. And, uh, you didn't hear anything; you didn't listen to one word that I had to say about this?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michael: My client has no criminal record of any kind.

Hank: I'm still going to wait for his prints to clear.

Kevin: What is he talking about, Mikey? How long does that take?

Michael: As long as Detective Weber wants it to.

Kevin: Does that mean that I'm gonna have to spend--

Michael: All right, quiet. You gotta be quiet!

Kevin: You gotta get me through this, Mikey! You've got to get me out of this!

Michael: Detective Weber, may I have a word alone with my client?

Hank: You want us to get started on the booking, don't you?

Michael: Well, if we're waiting on Washington, we'll have the time, right? Hank, please.

Hank: Okay. Make it quick.

Kevin: I swear, Mikey, he is a crooked cop. I think he planted--

Michael: Shut up! Shut up! Look, I don't want to hear anymore of your paranoid theories. I just want to hear you say that we're doing it my way, start to finish.

Kevin: Okay.

Michael: And you do not say another word. You do not utter anything unless I tell you to speak, right? Promise me now!

Kevin: I promise.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phyllis: Sorry.

Phyllis: You come home from a hard day's work, and here I am, all messed up as usual.

Damon: Shh. Hush. You're just going through one of those difficult phases in life right now. You know, you're looking at a lot of change, a lot of adversity raining down on you all at once. It's like that sometimes, you know? Like the universe is saying--

Phyllis: "Give up, Phyllis, give up."

Damon: Well, no, no. But listen, you really didn't come here for one of my pep talks, did you?

Phyllis: Mnh-mnh.

Damon: You came 'cause you needed somebody to be on your side, always.

Phyllis: Are you on my side?

Damon: Baby, that's an incredibly stupid question.

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