Port Charles Transcript
Proofread by Beth
Frank: Good girl, Nellie, you're booting on the first try. What the -- "I feel so alone." How the --
Neil: Hey, Dad, why don't you just move out here to the garage?
Frank: Hey, Neil, have you been messing with my computer?
Frank: Well, then how the heck did this get here?
Joe: Guess who.
Gabriela: The guy I'd like to kill.
Joe: I didn't do it, I swear.
Gabriela: Yeah, you're right, you didn't. You didn't tell me you knew that Ian was in love with Eve.
Joe: How did you find out?
Gabriela: Only in the worst possible way -- from Arianna, Ian's wife.
Ian: Joseph tells me we live here now.
Arianna: Yeah. I know I should have waited until you came back and discussed it with you first, but --
Ian: Yeah. It's a bit of a surprise.
Arianna: Well, Frank was worried about Neil, you know, because of Ben and everything, and I thought a change might be good for you now that Eve's left and -- you're upset with me, aren't you?
Ian: No. I think this is going to work just fine.
Kevin: I just found out you were back.
Eve: Yeah. I had a change of plans. How are you?
Kevin: I'm good. You?
Eve: I'm good. Actually, I'm really good.
Kevin: I'm glad. So, where are you staying?
Eve: Oh, yeah, I was going to call you. I'm at the Port Charles Hotel.
Kevin: I assume your plans have something to do with an unpredictable Irishman?
Eve: I know what I'm doing, Kevin.
Kevin: Is that why whenever he seems to be in the picture, you end up getting hurt?
Neil: March 9, 1973.
Frank: Yeah, it won't let me change the date no matter what I do. I'll send something.
Neil: I wonder how I knew you'd be writing to Karen.
Frank: I wonder how you got so nosy.
Neil: Something tells me this is going to take a while.
Frank: Well, hey, you don't have to leave.
Neil: No, that's cool. I got homework anyway. Tell me when you're done with your love letter.
Frank: It's not a love -- letter. "You'll never guess where I'm sending this from -- Nellie. She says hi and she misses you. She's not the only one. Hurry home, ok? Frank." All right. I hope you get this. I wonder if it went through. I can't tell -- "I'm so in love." Karen.
Eve: I know you're wary of Ian.
Kevin: No, I'm a lot wary of Ian because you always seem to end up getting hurt. He even went and married somebody else.
Eve: But he's not in love with -- her.
Kevin: Wait a minute. Are you saying that he left you for a woman that he doesn't even love?
Eve: You don't understand.
Kevin: No, I guess I don't.
Eve: If I tell you something, you have to keep it a secret. You have to promise that you will not tell anyone ever.
Kevin: Well, of course I won't. What is it?
Eve: Ian and Arianna's marriage is a marriage of convenience. He married her so she wouldn't be deported.
Kevin: He married the woman who ran over you with her car so she could get a green card?
Eve: Well, that was an accident.
Kevin: Well, still --
Eve: No, he can't let them send her back.
Kevin: Why not?
Eve: I've said too much already. Ok, just let me tell you that Arianna is in a lot of trouble with her family and Ian is keeping her safe from them.
Kevin: Oh, I get it. So his marrying this beautiful young woman is another one of his selfless good deeds.
Kevin: And you're ok with that?
Eve: Yeah. All right, it's hard.
Kevin: Hard? He sent you off to some godforsaken island.
Eve: No, no, no. That was my idea. I needed to get away to think for a while. It just didn't turn out to be for so long.
Kevin: Don't tell me -- Ian just popped up out of nowhere.
Eve: Yeah, it was amazing. He didn't even know I was there. It was like this --
Kevin: What an incredible coincidence.
Eve: Kevin, it's a good thing he showed up because I got very sick. He saved my life.
Kevin: You were sick? Eve, why didn't you tell me? Are you all right?
Eve: Yes, I'm ok now. Thanks to Ian.
Kevin: Ok. In that case, I'm grateful to him.
Eve: This is weird. I shouldn't be talking to you about Ian.
Kevin: Oh, of course you should.
Kevin: Remember what we said? Friends. Friends no matter what.
Eve: Yeah, but still --
Kevin: Still nothing. Friends should be able to talk about anything. And they should be able to do it without sarcasm. I'm sorry.
Eve: You don't have to apologize, Kevin.
Kevin: It's just that I still feel so protective of you.
Eve: I appreciate that. I really do. But you don't need to protect me from Ian.
Kevin: Ok, just tell me something. Why is it the man feels compelled to save every woman he meets whether she needs it or not?
Eve: But Arianna does need his help.
Kevin: And the only way to do that was to marry her?
Eve: Well, otherwise, the INS would deport her.
Kevin: How do you know they won't find out the marriage is a sham?
Eve: They won't. They won't find out. Ian would not let that happen because if they find out, Arianna's life will be in danger.
Kevin: Ok. So what now? What about you?
Eve: Everything is going to work out. I know it.
Kevin: I just want you to be happy.
Eve: Don't worry.
Kevin: Well, I'll always worry where you're concerned.
Ian: We'll make this look like a real home. We'll have our friends over for dinner and -- I don't know -- meet the neighbors, like real newlyweds.
Arianna: Yes. That's exactly what I thought.
Ian: Yeah. And this thing you got from the nurses -- fantastic.
Ian: Yeah. Yeah, really. Hey, if it came with a card, hold on to it. Going to start a scrapbook.
Arianna: A scrapbook?
Ian: Yeah, to document our life together for the INS.
Arianna: Right. The INS.
Ian: What's the matter? Something wrong?
Arianna: No. I -- I just -- I had a visit from Agent Lassen while you were gone.
Ian: Well, I'm sorry you had to go through that on your own.
Arianna: And she was asking questions about where you were, and I told her you were away on a medical emergency.
Ian: That's the truth.
Arianna: She still seemed really suspicious, you know. She started asking about other things.
Ian: Like what?
Arianna: Like little daily rituals we've established, places we go out to. You know, just evidence of our life together. I had nothing to give her.
Ian: Well, you wouldn't, would you?
Arianna: It hit me how my life was in this limbo. I'm not who I was, yet I'm not who I claim to be, either.
Ian: Let me tell you something. Let me tell you what I see. I see an incredibly courageous woman with a will and the spirit of -- you are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.
Arianna: That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Ian: I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm not just being nice. And I will prove it to you. Ok.
Arianna: What -- what are you doing?
Ian: Now, what's the saying? Pictures don't lie. Is that right? Here we go. Smile.
Arianna: Wait, no, Ian --
Ian: Aha! Ok. Wave this around for a bit, and you'll see what I'm talking about. Who you are shines through your eyes, especially when you're smiling. That gives me an idea. Why don't we take some more of these snappies for our friends at the INS?
Arianna: Wait, what are snappies?
Ian: Snappies -- pictures for our scrapbook. You ready? Ok. Here you go. Why don't you take a couple of your husband relaxing over here in his new chair, drinking whiskey? Ah! The picture of domestic bliss.
Ian: I'm ready. Perfect. This is nice. It's comfortable. I'm beat. I am.
Arianna: Look, I've been going on and on about myself. I didn't ask about you, your trip.
Ian: The island. Well, it was -- it was quite an experience.
Arianna: Well, tell me about it. Tell me everything that happened on the island.
Joe: He swore me to secrecy. He was concerned that with the whole INS thing --
Gabriela: Well, maybe I could have helped if I had known.
Gabriela: With Arianna. I mean, at least I wouldn't have encouraged her with Ian.
Joe: I didn't know you had.
Gabriela: I mean, she's grateful to Ian. She feels like he's the only person in this world she can depend on.
Joe: This is not good.
Gabriela: Tell me about it. She's even trying to make herself over to be like Eve. And I helped her, thanks to you.
Joe: Poor Ian.
Gabriela: Excuse me -- poor Ian? What about poor Arianna? I mean, first she gets raped, then her own brother blames her for it and tries to kill her, and she somehow manages to escape and travels halfway around the world, and now she's --
Joe: And now she's setting herself up for a really big fall.
Gabriela: Yes. I don't know how much more of this she can take.
Ian: Oh, you've really got a knack for this, don't you?
Arianna: Oh, have you ever taken a bad picture?
Ian: You should see my passport.
Arianna: Well, what I would like is to hear about your time on the island.
Ian: Ok. Well, there was a -- there was a contagious disease going around, and one person in particular got very sick. But thank God I was there and was able to help. Thank God I was there. Anyway, enough of that. We got to get back to this marriage thing. We got to start getting serious.
Arianna: What do you mean?
Ian: Well, we'll have to start taking pictures of each other, but not just here but everywhere -- all around town.
Arianna: That seems like a lot of trouble. Are you sure you don't mind?
Ian: Well, let's see -- having my picture taken with a beautiful woman on my arm. It does sound rough, but if you want this marriage to look real --
Arianna: I do. More than anything.
Kevin: I'm not trying to tell you who to be with. I would never do that, especially now that Lucy and I have --
Eve: Lucy and you what?
Kevin: Lucy and I seem to have worked out things between us.
Kevin: Yeah. But this time, I think we might actually have a shot.
Eve: Well, that's great. That's great. If Lucy makes you happy, then --
Kevin: I know that's hard for you to believe.
Eve: No, it's not. It's not at all. Yes, it is. I just don't understand what you see in her. Yeah, kind of like how you don't understand what I see in Ian.
Kevin: Ooh, touché.
Eve: I'll tell you what -- you be in my corner with him, and I will be in your corner with her.
Kevin: I'm always in your corner.
Kevin: Oop. Except right now.
Kevin: Yeah, I got to go.
Eve: Ok, I understand.
Kevin: I really am glad you're back. And I really do hope things work out for you.
Eve: Me, too. For both of us.
Gabriela: Maybe I should go over there, you know, just talk to Arianna?
Joe: Gabby --
Gabriela: No, I've got a good excuse.
Joe: Yeah, I'm sure you can come up with a great one.
Gabriela: No, I'm serious. There's a package here for Ian.
Joe: Gabby, listen to me --
Gabriela: It could be important, Joe.
Joe: I think we should both stay out of this. It's Ian's first night back. He and Arianna just moved into the new place. Ok? Let the dust settle before you go barging over there.
Gabriela: I do not barge. How about this package?
Joe: Just leave it for the courier.
Gabriela: Well, you've got to change the address.
Joe: Know what else I'm going to do? To make up for everything, I am going to buy you a big bowl of Jell-O.
Gabriela: Oh. It is going to take so much more than Jell-O.
Eve: What's going on, Ian?
Frank: Wow. Karen. Now, this goes in the save file.
Karen's Voice: And here's something else to remember.
Frank: Guess absence does make the heart grow fonder.
[Series of beeps]
Karen: Don't you have a life? Jeez, you weren't kidding about keeping in touch.
Frank: Hey, what do you expect when you return an e-mail message in under five seconds? Especially a message like that.
Karen: What message?
Frank: Didn't you get my e-mail?
Karen: No. But does that mean you actually have the computer working? I guess her days as a paperweight are over.
Frank: Sort of. She's still as moody and unpredictable as they come. Typical woman.
Karen: You mean that in the nicest of ways, of course, right?
Frank: Yeah, really, Karen, I sent an e-mail to your address and I got an answer, but I guess it wasn't from you.
Karen: Well, what was the message?
Frank: Well, it's no big deal. I'll -- I'll send you another e-mail. I'd rather hear the sound of your voice.
Karen: Oh, yeah, same here. But, unfortunately, you'll have to hear my voice saying goodbye. I'm late for a meeting, so call me later?
Frank: You bet.
Frank: Who is sending me messages?
Frank: If Karen's not the one who's so in love, who is? Is it you, Nellie? Are you like that crazy computer in "The Twilight Zone" that falls in love with Wally Cox and -- oh, here we go again. Another message from cyberspace. "I've never felt like this before." "Who is this?"
Colleen: So the guy went after his wife with a gun? Is she ok?
Kevin: Yeah. I was able to talk him down. The gun wasn't even loaded.
Colleen: Thank goodness.
Kevin: Turns out he's been battling depression and he went off his meds.
Colleen: Is that why you admitted him?
Kevin: Well, that and if I can get him the help he needs, he won't have to go to jail.
Colleen: He's lucky to have someone like you on his side.
Kevin: And I'm late for dinner with Lucy. I'll see you.
Woman: You bastard.
Lesley: That jerk almost killed me. He should be locked up in jail, not some hospital room he can walk out of.
Kevin: Lesley, I know tonight was rough, but the gun wasn't loaded. And your husband is here because he's ill.
Lesley: I can't get him to take his medicine. Can you?
Kevin: I'll do everything I can to see that he does.
Lesley: I don't want to hear any more of your lies. I hate all of you doctors! I hate you!
Kevin: Let's take a walk, and we can --
Lesley: Get your hands off of me!
Lesley: Let go of me! Let go of me! Stop it! Let go of me! Let go!
Kevin: No, it's all right. It's just a scratch.
Colleen: Excuse me, you're the patient now, and this is not just a scratch. You're going to ER.
Kevin: Well, so much for my dinner plans.
Colleen: Lucy will understand.
Kevin: Yeah, she may understand, but she's not going to like it.
Arianna: So, when do we start this photo session?
Ian: There's no time like the present. But I should take a shower.
Arianna: Oh, ok. Right through there. And I'll just change when you're done.
[Knock on door]
Arianna: The INS. Oh, God. We're not ready.
Eve: Arianna. Hi.
Ian: Arianna, how'd you get --
>> On the next "Port Charles" --
Karen: What exactly did the message say?
Frank: It said, "I'm so in love."
Karen: You thought I sent that?
Arianna: If you really want to help us, then just stay away from us! Leave us alone!
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