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Port Charles Transcript
Proofread by Beth
Jack: Damn! Well, it looks like we're stuck here. Look, do you have a credit card or something?
Livvie: Will I get it back?
Jack: Oh, that's funny. That's really funny.
Livvie: I'm just going to scream!
Jack: You're not going to scream, all right? You'll attract too much attention.
Livvie: Well, isn't that the point?
Jack: No, we're stowaways, remember?
Livvie: Look, you may have to hide like the criminal you are, but I don't! I got stuck in here by mistake, remember?
Jack: The sooner you're out, the better.
Livvie: Do you hate me that much, or are you afraid to be alone with me?
Lucy: Well -- what are you doing in my compartment?
Kevin: What are you doing in my lap?
Lucy: Oh! I -- I -- I tripped. Wait, don't you dare try and change the subject. What are you doing on my train?
Kevin: I could ask you the same thing!
Lucy: Well, not that it's any of your business, but I happen to be going to a spa to have the stress that you caused me relieved. I'm going to have myself buffed and pounded and massaged and all that good stuff -- have my body cleansed of you. Hmph.
Kevin: Well, I'm taking a few days off to go skiing.
Lucy: Well, goody for you. Leave. Because there are no rolling hills in this compartment.
Kevin: Well, I wouldn't be so sure of that.
Lucy: There's no way I plan to share my private compartment with you, so leave.
Kevin: Oh, don't flatter yourself. As a matter of fact, I'm going to find the conductor and have him seat me as far away from you as possible. Ta!
Lucy: Ooh! Good! And wait a minute! Don't you dare come back!
Eve: You're married? Is it true?
Ian: Yeah. It's true. We're married.
Eve: Husband and wife.
Eve: Well, that's the last thing I expected to hear.
Ian: So now I got to ask you a question. Why'd you come looking for me?
Livvie: You are such a jerk. Why do you have to be so hateful to me? God, what an idiot I was to believe in you.
Jack: Livvie, what you did, it was my fault, all right? And don't you ever think you're dumb. You're anything but.
Livvie: So --
Jack: You're free.
Livvie: No. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what I want to know. Was anything that happened between us real?
Kevin: So as you can see, these arrangements simply have to be changed. This is unacceptable.
Lucy: Excuse me, but you are trampling all over my good vibrations.
Conductor: Sorry, lady.
Lucy: Not you -- him. Serenity killer.
Conductor: Sorry, folks. I thought the name on the ticket said Lucoe, not Lucy Coe. Didn't realize the occupant was a woman. But since you two seem to know each other, is this really a big problem?
Kevin and Lucy: Yes!
Conductor: The train's full.
Lucy: Well, can't you find this -- this man one single little seat out there?
Kevin: We'll make do.
Conductor: Thanks, folks.
Kevin: But if anything opens up, as soon as it opens up --
Conductor: I'll move you, Dr. Collins. That's a promise.
Kevin: Thank you.
Lucy: Well, since it appears we are trapped like rats in this small little space, the best thing I can suggest is we simply ignore each other.
Kevin: Works for me.
Lucy: Is there a problem?
Kevin: Do you have to light that? It smells.
Lucy: It smells good, and, yes, I have to because it's lavender and it means tranquility, which I very much need at this point. And wait a minute, I thought we agreed not to speak to each other, so you couldn't possibly be speaking to me.
Kevin: Ah. That's better.
Lucy: This is not going to work. This will never work, not in a million years!
Kevin: Well, it's no picnic for me, either. All I wanted to do was go away by myself for a few days and instead I'm stuck here with you.
Lucy: By yourse-- why are you by yourself? Why aren't you carrying a matching set of little luggage? Where in the world is your lovely little wifey?
Eve: I came looking for you for a lot of reasons. Kind of hard to explain now under the circumstances.
Ian: Why don't you try?
Arianna: Ben's waking up.
Ben: What the -- get these ropes off of me!
Ian: You're staying put.
Ben: Arianna, I'm taking you home!
Arianna: I'm not going anywhere with you ever again. My place is with my husband now.
Arianna: We were married today.
Eve: I thought you told me you two were just good friends.
Ian: Well, that's what we told everybody because, um, Arianna's family didn't want us to be together.
Eve: I see.
Ben: Yeah, I knew there was something going on. I kept seeing you at this man's house. I should have known you were sharing the same bed together. Arianna, you have no morals! None!
Ian: You watch your mouth! That's my wife you're talking about and the sooner you and your family find out about that, the better.
Ben: Oh, yeah, this marriage is just some kind of scam to keep Arianna in this country. I know it is.
Arianna: We got married because we want to be together.
Eve: So you're -- in love.
Ian: Yes, I am. I'm in love. I didn't mean for it to happen, but when it did it was the most beautiful thing in the world. For both of us. I never met a woman with so much heart and courage.
Arianna: Ian came at a time in my life when I had nothing.
Ian: We were both looking for someone, and we found what we needed in each other.
Eve: This is real, isn't it?
Ian: The way I feel right now for the woman I love is more real than anything I've ever felt in my life.
Jack: Times I spent with you were the most important times of my life.
Livvie: Look, if that's true, then why did you tear into me the way you did at the river? Why did you say that I never meant anything to you at all?
Jack: Because I was bringing you so much pain, all right, and I hated that. So I wanted to make a clean break.
Livvie: You could have just told me that instead of ripping my heart out.
Jack: No, there was no other way.
Livvie: Jack, I know what it's like to have messed-up parents, but that's in the past and it doesn't have to ruin the rest of your life just because your father abandoned you.
Jack: No, no, no, no, my father didn't abandon me. Chris did. See, I was just a kid. I trusted him. I even looked up to him, if you can imagine that. But he just decided to dump me off with strangers and be on his way. Just bounced around from foster home to foster home, never really connected with any families, but -- got to admit, they were all happy to see me go.
Livvie: God, I am so sorry.
Jack: Yeah. Well, I just want Chris to know what it feels like to lose something important to him. He took my family, so I took you, which was the biggest mistake of my life.
Livvie: God. So many things make sense to me now that didn't before.
Jack: I'm the reason we're not together. All right? It wasn't you. You did nothing wrong. You did everything right.
Lucy: So, I suppose Mrs. Dr. Collins will be joining you on the slope for what, a little second honeymoon?
Kevin: I'm not discussing Eve with you.
Lucy: Well, you might as well because I'll just keep hounding you until you crack. Or you know what? I think I'm just going to light my candle again.
Kevin: Eve and I are taking a few days off. Let's just leave it at that.
Lucy: Really? I thought you two were joined at the hip.
Kevin: Will you stop pestering me?
Lucy: Probably not.
Kevin: Oh, I get it. You're planning to bore me to sleep so you can slip the conductor in here for a little action.
Lucy: Oh! You're right. You got me. I've already had him, though. You know, in fact, I've had half the men on this train. I thought I'd maybe finish up the rest of them by breakfast.
Kevin: Oh, well, let's hope you just stick to those who are of age this time.
Lucy: Oh! Aha!
Kevin: Aha, what?
Lucy: I was wondering when you'd get around to bringing up what happened with Jack.
Kevin: "What happened with Jack?" You make it sound like your clothes just magically fell off, you tripped, and landed on his hmm-mm-mm.
Lucy: Oh! How dare you. You are not allowed to speak to me like that. You know what? Everybody told me before I met you you were a stick in the mud, and now -- I've never really seen it, but I get to. I get to see you in full stick-in-the-mud mode. Let me tell you something, pal -- it isn't very flattering. Not at all!
Kevin: Well, you started it. I was just sitting here happily reading, minding my own damn business, but that's just not enough for you, is it? You just don't have the word "stop" in your vocabulary because you just have to push, push, push, push, push.
Lucy: Oh! I do not know why you're here.
Kevin: Push, push, push, push, push!
Lucy: Because last I heard, you were supposed to be running off with your little wifey to make happy-happy. But what happened? Did Eve sort of get tired of your stick-in-the-mud persona, too? Or maybe, better yet, she really actually ran off with Ian this time. Oh, Doc, no. How could she do something like that to you?
Eve: Well, this is your wedding night, and I'm sorry I barged in with hothead here. Um -- congratulations are in order, right? Congratulations. Hey. Wow.
Ian: Thank you, Eve. Thank you.
Eve: I wish you both the best. I really do. If anyone deserves to be happy, it's you, Ian. Take good care of him, ok?
Officer: Sheriff's department.
Ian: I'm glad you're here. This is the man who assaulted Dr. Lambert.
Eve: Yes, and I would be happy to make a statement. He is one hotheaded boy.
Officer: All right, buddy, let's go.
Arianna: Wait. I want you and the family to give me your blessings.
Ben: If this marriage is genuine, you'll have my blessing.
Officer: Come on.
Arianna: I'm sorry. I'm just so tired. Can we please go home?
Ian: Sure. Why don't you wait in the car, ok? Be one minute.
Arianna: It was nice to see you again.
Eve: Well, party's over. I guess I should go.
Ian: Not yet. You haven't told me why you came looking for me.
Eve: I -- heard you disappeared. Thought you might be in trouble, so I thought I would come riding to your rescue for a change instead of the other way around. And yet, here you are, coming to my rescue once again.
Ian: Well, I'm up for that challenge any day.
Eve: That's good to know.
Ian: So, we both had weddings today. Fancy that. How was your ceremony?
Eve: Oh, you should have stuck around. It was a real tearjerker.
Ian: Yeah. Well, Kevin can't be happy with you. You renewed your vows and then you came looking for me.
Eve: Well, you know Kevin. He's very understanding. You know, in fact, I should get back to him.
Ian: One more thing. Why'd you come looking for me here in this cabin? We were here during the period of time that you say you don't remember. Or do you? Do you remember what happened here?
Eve: Nope. I don't. I read about this place in the police report and I just thought you might have come here. Pretty lucky, huh? I found you.
Ian: Hmm. Well, maybe the next time you come to rescue me, bring a couple of burly guys with you.
Eve: You better get back to your wife. I hope you'll be as happy -- I hope you'll be happy.
Jack: Livvie, I never meant to hurt you. You got to believe that.
Livvie: You had your reasons for the things you did and I understand that. But it doesn't change the fact that you hurt me.
Jack: Yeah. You're standing up for yourself. That's -- that's good.
Livvie: Yeah, it's about time, right?
Jack: Yeah. Look, I'll never forget the times we spent together. I mean, I'm a better person for knowing you.
Livvie: Yeah, well, you take care of yourself, Jack.
Jack: Yeah. You, too.
Livvie: Goodbye, Jack.
Conductor: Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't have a ticket, do you?
Jack: Uh, no -- my things are in my compartment. I --
Conductor: Save it for the cops. They'll decide what to do with you at the next station. Meanwhile, you're not going anywhere.
Eve's Voice: I want to be with you. I've known it since Christmas Eve. I think I've known it longer than that -- when we were kidnapped and thrown together. And I just tried so hard to fight those feelings. I think we were meant to be together. We had no other choice but to fall in love.
Arianna: Are you ready to leave this place behind?
Ian: Yeah. I was just making sure the fire was out completely.
Arianna: It must have killed you to tell Eve you're in love with someone else, to look at her and lie.
Ian: Had to be done. Besides, Eve has her own life to get back to -- a loving husband.
Arianna: I'm just so sorry you've been put in this position.
Ian: Was my idea.
Arianna: While Ben is around, we're going to have to make him believe this marriage is real. So we're going to have to convince everyone that we're happy newlyweds.
Ian: I know. I made a commitment. I'm sticking to it.
Arianna: I just wish there had been some other way.
Ian: Goodbye, Eve. I love you.
Eve: Ian. I took too long. I took too long to remember. Now I've lost you. I've lost you.
Lucy: I'm sorry I said anything about Eve and Ian. You know, I was just sort of taking a shot in the dark. Is -- is that what happened, Doc? Did Eve run off with Ian?
Kevin: I don't know, exactly, but my bride took a hike somewhere. Seems like I should care more about that, but right now I don't.
Lucy: Well, I'm very sorry because I know how much you wanted your marriage to work.
Kevin: Well, let's just say that lately I'm not thinking straight about anything. I didn't want to talk to Eve. I didn't want to talk to you. All I wanted to do was glide down some snowy slope. The way my luck is going, I'll probably run right into a tree.
Lucy: You know, maybe the universe is just trying to tell you something.
Kevin: Oh, can it, Lucy! I'm not interested in hearing about your mystical woo-woo. And I'm not interested in hearing yet again how the universe has thrown us together so we can live happily ever after. As far as I'm concerned, the universe is as screwed up as I am.
Lucy: Oh! Well, let me tell you, Mr. Dr. Know-it-all, that's not even what I was going to say. And you better be careful pooh-poohing the universe because she will bite you back.
Kevin: You don't think she already has? My wife is off God knows where, my vow renewal ceremony was as close to a funeral as I'll get to while I'm alive, and you and I are at each other's throats!
Lucy: That is what I mean by the universe. Maybe the universe did this on purpose, threw us together so we could see what it'd really be like if we were getting back together. Well, let me tell you! This is not a pretty picture.
Kevin: What, oh, what will it take to shut you up?
Lucy: Oh! Do you know you get very rude when you're hiding your real, true feelings? Rudeness just rears its ugly head.
Kevin: Will you shut up!
Lucy: Make me.
>> On the next "Port Charles" --
Scott: Look who's back in town.
Rhonda: Hi, sweetie.
Karen: Hi -- Mom.
Kevin: How did this happen?
Lucy: I don't know, but it doesn't matter because it will never, ever happen again.
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