[an error occurred while processing this directive] Passions Transcript Friday 8/24/07 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

[an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Friday 8/24/07

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Provided By Eric
Proofread By Jodi

Edna: Oh, don't they look so sweet together. Oh, that could have been Bethie and me, if I hadn't been a lush and she hadn't been a lunatic.

Norma: One thing's for sure, we can't tear that beautiful little girl away from her home. It's where her heart is.

Norma: Seeing Tabitha all snuggled up with Endora reminds me of when I used to fall asleep after Daddy read me a bedtime story. Oh, my favorite was "Lizzie Borden, Girl with an Ax to Grind."

Edna: Hey, Normie, um, do you ever wonder how you would have turned out if Daddy had read you "Nancy Drew" instead?

Norma: Naw, Eddie, what Daddy read didn't matter. It was how we were so close like Tabitha and Endora are.

Edna: Oh, what -- what about you and your mommy?

Norma: [Little girl's voice] Mommy? Oh, Mommy! [Normal voice] She was nothing but a pole-dancing ho! But Daddy took care of her.

Edna: Um, something tells me that doesn't mean "provided for."

Norma: Oh, he covered all her final expenses. He said it would look suspicious if he didn't. I wore the cutest white dress to the funeral. Well, actually, to the party Daddy gave afterwards.

Edna: And what did your mommy die of?

Norma: Uh, coroner had a hard time telling, what with her being in so many pieces. It was either blunt force trauma to the head or blood loss on account of her being chopped up and all.

Edna: Yikes. Ok. Hi, Tabs.

Tabitha: Oh, Edna, Norma, I thought you were going to bed.

Norma: Just came for a little snack.

Tabitha: Oh, my stars!

Edna: Oh, am I in the mood for a manwich.

Miguel: What the hell is going on and why -- why am I in a swimsuit?

Kay: Endora?

Kay: Please.

Miguel: You know, it looks like you and Endora are, like, reading each other's thoughts.

Kay: Hurry!

Miguel: Hurry, what -- she's a toddler, Kay. What do you want her to do?

Kay: Oh, thank you. Ok. I can handle it from here.

Tabitha: You certainly cannot. You remember what I told you about using your magic, Kay.

Kay: That I don't know what I'm doing.

Tabitha: Yes, yes, exactly. Exhibit A. If you keep on doing this, you're going to get yourself and him and potentially all of us into big trouble.

Fancy: Ok, um, I don't blame you for hating me for thinking I'm the monster that Pretty and Aunt Sheridan say I am.

Luis: You just should have told me what the deal was sooner.

Fancy: I know. You're right. You're right, I should have told you about Pretty from the start. But I couldn't because I knew this would happen. And now I have to live with the fallout.

Luis: You know you're making this harder on yourself than it has to be.

Fancy: Luis, I know why you came back. You want to tell me it's over between us. Because of what happened to Pretty, I understand why -- why you can't love me anymore.

Gwen: If I can't tell Ethan Theresa's secret, how am I supposed to ruin her life?

Rebecca: Honey, that is the best part. We don't have to do anything. Alistair's already done it.

Gwen: What are you talking about?

Rebecca: Honey, you are just not thinking this through, ok? If Alistair is not dead, then Theresa's marriage to Ethan is not legal. She is a bigamist.

Gwen: Oh, my God. You are right, and she could go to jail for that.

Rebecca: Mm-hmm. Exactamente. See, bigamy is not legal. I mean, despite what all those freak guests try to say on "Dr. Phil" and "Dr. Keith," I mean, they think it should be -- I myself, I mean, I'm against any bigamy or polygamy. I don't want to share my husband's mattress time or money with anybody. Uh-uh, not ever.

Gwen: Yeah, but this isn't about you. It's about Theresa.

Rebecca: You're right. And you've won. And we don't have to upset Alistair by telling Ethan that he's Little Ethan's father. That's true, but, look, who are we kidding? Theresa's marriage to Ethan may not be legal, but that alone isn't going to change his feelings for her. In fact, he'll probably love her more knowing all the grief it'll cause her still being Alistair's wife, and knowing Theresa, she'll play the tortured victim role to the hilt.

Rebecca: Honey, I understand. I do. I mean, I see your point, but we promised Alistair that we'd keep silent. And that way he won't try to silence us -- permanently.

Gwen: Look, you know what? I don't care what Alistair wants. I need to tell Ethan the truth.

Ethan: What? What is it? Are you changing your mind about wanting to get pregnant, or what?

Theresa: No, no, it's not that. Look, I know how much you want to have a son and I want that for you, I do, I -- just, before we, you know, try to make another baby, there's just, um, something I need to tell you, something that I've been wanting to tell you for a really long time, but for one reason or another I haven't been able to, so I -- I can't wait any longer.

Ethan: I'm listening.

Theresa: Ok, the truth.

Rebecca: No, no, no -- Gwen, please! You cannot just go barge in on Ethan and Theresa.

Gwen: You watch me. I'm going to blow her out of the water.

Rebecca: Honey, you can't do it, not that -- not since Alistair has made it perfectly clear that he does not want anyone to know that Little Ethan is not Julian's son.

Gwen: Well, I really don't care what Alistair wants. Theresa has got to pay for all the years of torture that she caused me.

Rebecca: Honey, you can't tell Ethan the truth. If you do, Alistair's going to kill us!

Gwen: Well, you know what? At least I will have buried Theresa first.

Rebecca: Ok, well I am too young to die.

Gwen: No, I mean it. Theresa will not end up with Ethan. I can't allow that.

Rebecca: Well, you have to for our sakes!

Gwen: No, no. Not when I finally have a way to destroy her in Ethan's eyes.

Alistair: Whoa, wait a second. Now, Gwen, I knew I wouldn't be able to trust you. And you, Rebecca -- so much for controlling your daughter, right? I guess it's only up to me to make sure that neither one of you tells Ethan Theresa's secret.

Ethan: Theresa, what's -- what's "the truth"? Why don't you just tell me the truth?

Theresa's voice: You're Little Ethan's father.

Ethan: Actually, you know what? You know what? Don't tell me. Don't tell me now.

Theresa: What -- what?

Ethan: Don't tell me. Whatever this thing is, obviously it's killing you inside, right?

Theresa: Yeah, it's been awful.

Ethan: Right. Well, this is our wedding night and I want it to be perfect. I want it to be perfect. I mean, we're going to be thinking about these memories that we make here tonight for the rest of our lives, playing them over and over again, in our heads and in our hearts. I -- I don't think it's the right time. Whatever it is, just let it be.

Theresa: Are you sure?

Ethan: I just want to celebrate us tonight and our marriage and the hurdles that we've had to overcome in order to be here tonight and the future we're going to have with Little Ethan and Jane and our son, hopefully, one day.

Theresa: Ok, but see, that -- that's --

Ethan: I'm sorry --

Theresa: This is about --

Ethan: Wait --

Theresa: Having a son.

Ethan: I don't mean to pressure you about having a son and getting pregnant and all that. I just want to be close to you tonight. I just want us to be happy tonight. I don't want to see any more of this pain that's written all over your face. I want it to be happy.

Theresa: Really?

Ethan: Really. So, whatever it is can you just let it go? Let it go, please, let's just be -- let's just be newlyweds tonight. Let's do what newlyweds are supposed to do. Hmm? Like that.

Theresa: Ok, I'll wait to tell you. Can you just make love to me then? Like newlyweds.

Ethan: Yeah, yeah I can -- shh, shh, mm.

Theresa: Like there's no tomorrow, Ethan.

Theresa's voice: Because once you hear the truth, we might not have tomorrow.

Tabitha: You must stop trying to practice your magic, Kay. You botch nearly every spell. You need training and testing or you -- you're going to hocus-pocus yourself into a disaster!

Kay: Oh, ok. I am doing a lot better than crabby here is giving me credit for.

Tabitha: You call this a lot better?

Kay: Well, at least I didn't lose him on the way back from Hawaii.

Tabitha: Hawaii? You woo-wooed your way to Hawaii?

Kay: Mm, yeah. I didn't plan to, but we were at dinner at the Seascape after Ethan and Theresa's wedding and --

Edna: Oh! Those two finally got married?

Kay: Yeah.

Edna: Oh, how was it?

Kay: It was great. Everything turned out great. They seemed really happy.

Tabitha: Hm, well, that won't last.

Edna: Oh, what color was her dress? I hope not white, 'cause I hear Theresa is at least five times removed from being a virgin.

Norma: Oh, and how about Ethan's tux? Was it tapered-fit or full-cut, like mine?

Tabitha: Would you hens mind clucking about this later? We have a situation here!

Kay: So, anyway, we were at dinner and we were talking about our wedding and I don't know, we started talking about our honeymoon and where we wanted to go, and we just narrowed it down to two places, Bermuda and Hawaii. So, I figured I would just zap us there and see which one we liked best.

Tabitha: Well, couldn't you have taken a virtual tour online?

Kay: Mm, that's for ordinary people, not for those of us who have special powers. Anyway, everything was fine until he said, "oh, I must be dreaming and I'm sure I'm going to end up in our bed." And I panicked, so I just zapped us back here. End of story.

Tabitha: No, not quite. You can't keep doing this, Kay. I mean, Miguel is going to start wondering what's going on.

Kay: Well then, we'll just make him forget it happened.

Tabitha: It's not that easy. It's like -- it's like with computers. Just because you delete something doesn't mean that it's completely gone. It's the same with Miguel. Erased memory can come back.

Kay: Well, Endora has tons of power. She'll make it right.

Tabitha: Yeah, but you -- you can't count on Endora always being there to help you.

Norma: Hey, I can whack Miguel on the head to make him forget.

Tabitha and Kay: No!

Kay: What?

Norma: Well, I was just trying to help.

Kay: I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean to mess things up. I was just trying to have some fun.

Tabitha: But magic isn't all fun. It's serious business. If you're not careful, you're going to really hurt someone here.

Kay: Oh, I think you're exaggerating.

Tabitha: Yeah, well, you won't when it all blows up in your face. And trust ol' Tabby, it will.

Ethan: I love you.

Theresa: I love you. No matter what.

Ethan: Nothing's ever gonna change my love for you. Nothing.

Theresa's voice: I pray to God you're right.

Tabitha: Kay, we can't keep Miguel frozen like this indefinitely. You know Fluffy. Fluffy likes to snack. He could come in here and see Miguel and mistake him for a big, giant chew toy.

Edna's voice: Great minds think alike.

Norma: What are you thinking, Eddie?

Edna: Oh, just what to do with Miguel.

Norma: Oh, I know. Let's all go back to Hawaii. That way he won't feel out of place.

Edna: No, no, no, don't you remember what Tabitha said? She wants Endora to have stability, a sense of hearth and home. Not flit around like some eurotrash in search of the next rave.

Norma: Well, that was my idea. Who's next?

Kay: Ok, what if we pretend we're having a luau when we unfreeze him?

Tabitha: No, I don't think that'll work, Kay.

Tabitha: Oh, really, Kay!

Kay: I'm sorry, ohh. I didn't mean for this to happen.

Tabitha: I know, exactly, that's the problem.

Edna: Oh, work those hips, honey.

Norma: Oh, I can sing "Tiny Bubbles" if you want.

All: No!

Tabitha: Focus, focus, people. We have to do something about Miguel.

Kay: Ok, I think I got it. All right. We were at dinner at the Seascape before I popped us over to Hawaii, so maybe we should just set up a dinner table here and act like we've been here the whole time.

Tabitha: Oh, no, I don't think that'll work, Kay.

Kay: You have a better idea?

Tabitha: No, not right now.

Kay: Endora, could you change us into our normal clothes and zap in a nice dinner table?

Kay: Oh, ok. See, put this there. Open the mouth. Ok, everybody, act like you're eating. Ok? Ok, Endora, zap Miguel. Unfreeze him.

Miguel: Ah! Oh! Oh. What the hell? What? What?

Kay: What's wrong? You don't like what Tabitha made for dinner?

Miguel: Ok, so, since when is Tabitha a chef at the Seascape, Kay?

Kay: Well, why would you think that?

Miguel: Because we were just there. Because we were just at the Seascape, having dinner. Now -- now we're here. We're at home, Kay.

Norma: Yeah, pass me the bread, will you, Miguel?

Miguel: What's going on?

Edna: We're having dinner.

Miguel: I know we're having dinner. We're having dinner -- I was having dinner at the Seascape with Kay, except now we're here. And then we went to Hawaii.

Kay: Oh.

Tabitha: Why ever would you think that, dear?

Miguel: Because we were in Hawaii -- you know what, never mind. Never mind, never mind -- never mind. I'm just losing my mind. Ok? I'm losing it.

Fancy: After what Pretty said, I don't blame you for being disappointed in me. You must be wondering how you could have ever loved someone who hurt their sister the way Pretty said I hurt her. And it -- it kills me that I lost you over this, but I understand how you couldn't possibly love me after hearing what pretty told you.

Luis: Yeah, I just wish you would have told me sooner so it wouldn't have come to this.

Fancy: Yeah. Well -- well, I'm sorry.

Luis: Yeah.

Fancy: And I love you. I always will. Good-bye, Luis.

Luis: Wait -- what do you mean, good-bye? I love you, too.

Fancy: You -- you do?

Luis: Yeah, nothing's changed.

Fancy: But after what Pretty said --

Luis: I still love you.

Fancy: Do you really mean that?

Luis: Yeah, I'll say it again. I still love you.

Fancy: [Laughs]

Luis: With all my heart and soul.

Fancy: I was so afraid I lost you after what Pretty said.

Luis: You haven't lost me. You'll never lose me.

Rebecca: Well, I -- I -- I don't suppose you brought us here for a surprise facial, huh? I mean, because I could really use one. I mean --

Alistair: Didn't I warn both of you to keep quiet about Ethan being Little Ethan's father?

Rebecca: Uh -- uh, yes you did and we are not going to go against you.

Alistair: Then will you stop lying to me? I know exactly where you two were headed. You were going back to Theresa and Ethan's room to tell Ethan the truth.

Gwen: And so what if we were?

Rebecca: Uh, by "we" she means her.

Gwen: Alistair, look, I know that you don't want Theresa's secret to come out, but I have waited years to get my revenge on her and now that I finally have the means to do so, I'm going to do it. And you, of all people, should understand that.

Alistair: It's not that I don't understand.

Gwen: Ok, good, because Theresa has put me through hell. She stole my husband, killed my daughter, drove me temporarily insane --

Rebecca: Yeah, and left you barren.

Gwen: Look, the point is Theresa has to pay and I need to be the one to make her do it.

Alistair: You're only half right. Theresa's going to get everything she deserves and she'll feel a lot of pain, but not at the expense of my public humiliation. I was tricked into believing that Little Ethan was Julian's son, an heir.

Gwen: I need to know that Theresa will not end up with Ethan.

Alistair: Don't worry. She won't end up with Ethan or anyone else, for that matter.

Gwen: And how can you guarantee that?

Alistair: Well, I sent to their room a little while ago a token of my appreciation of those two, a very expensive bottle of champagne, a whole tray of chocolate-covered strawberries and whipped cream. It's one of Theresa's favorite foods and I'm sure she's going to eat each and every one of them.

Rebecca: Oh, I am so hungry.

Gwen: Ok, this helps me how?

Alistair: The strawberries are poisoned.

Theresa: So, um, Jane and Little Ethan are ok, Mama? That's good. I -- I just -- I -- I kind of figured that they were going to sleep through the night. We kept them up kind of late for the wedding. I tried to tell Ethan the truth about Little Ethan, Mama, and he stopped me. He said that this is our wedding night and he just wants us to enjoy it, right? Mama, I know that Gwen is not going to give up until she tells Ethan the truth about Little Ethan, but trust me. He will know by then. I will tell him. Yes, of course I'm afraid that Ethan's going to hate me, but you know what? I just -- I just have faith. I have to believe that -- that he's going to understand and that he's going to forgive me, because, I mean, I -- I don't know what I would do now if -- if I lost him, Mama. I mean, it would kill me. I know, I know. You're right. I just -- I need to tell him and the sooner I tell him, the better. Oh, hi. Um, Mama, I -- I got to go. I -- I -- I -- I'll call you back, ok, later. Thank you again. [Sighs]

Ethan: Is everything ok?

Theresa: Yes. I was, uh, you know, just checking in on Jane and Little Ethan.

Ethan: Of course you were. It's one of the things I love about you. You're a great wife and you're an incredible mother and, when we have our son, whenever that is, he's going to grow to love you as much as I do.

Theresa: Um, look, Ethan, about our s --

Ethan: You know what, I'm sorry. I just mentioned having a son again, and I don't want to put any pressure on you. But I have to tell you. Once we have a son together -- [Sighs] I'm going to be able to die a happy man. I'll tell you that. And how about these? You know you want one of these strawberries. They're your favorite.

Fancy: Luis, I was -- I was so afraid I lost you. Between Aunt Sheridan hinting at what happened with pretty and my own sister saying I deliberately left her scarred and disfigured --

Luis: You're not going to lose me.

Fancy: You promise?

Luis: Cross my heart. It's not going to happen. I love you, Fancy Crane. You're the woman I want to spend my life with, have a family with.

Fancy: That's what I want, too.

Luis: All right, so relax. Everything is going to be fine.

Fancy: [Sighs]

Luis: And I know you didn't do those things that Pretty said you did to her. I know you'd never throw caustic pool chemicals in her face.

Fancy: Yeah.

Gwen: How do you know she's even going to eat the strawberries?

Alistair: Well, next to chips and salsa, it's her favorite food. But let me tell you something about those strawberries. They have so much poison in them, one will kill her.

Rebecca: How convenient.

Alistair: Yes, isn't it? So you see? Theresa will be dead, and Little Ethan's paternity will remain a secret.

Rebecca: Uh, Alistair --

Alistair: Mm-hmm?

Rebecca: Is right, Gwen.

Alistair: Ooh.

Rebecca: I think this is best for everyone.

Alistair: Uh-huh. Listen to your mother. You know, there's no reason for you to go against me. It would be a big mistake. Now you really don't have to because Theresa will die, if she hasn't already. [Chuckles]

Ethan: Hmm?

Theresa: [Sighs]

Ethan: Come on.

Theresa: Can I have it later? I'm not really that hungry.

Ethan: Wow, Theresa, are you ok? I mean, are you -- are you sick? Because I've never seen you turn down a chocolate-covered strawberry.

Theresa: I just have a lot on my mind right now, you know? I'm just --

Ethan: Theresa, honey, I thought we were going to, you know, just enjoy the night and not worry about whatever it was that you wanted to tell me.

Theresa: Yeah, I know. I just -- I think I need -- I need to get this off my chest.

Ethan: Ok, all right then. If you need to get it off your chest, by all means, but I think we should just forget about it and enjoy our wedding night, but you have to do whatever you want to do. So do whatever you have to do.

Theresa: Right -- well, I -- I think that's -- that's just it. I -- I'm -- I'm not sure. What are you --

Ethan: Well, honey, you -- I think I know what you need. Um, how about a nice, hot, relaxing bath? Hmm? That might put you in the mood for one of those strawberries, ok?

Theresa: You're so good to me. No wonder I love you so much.

Ethan: One of these isn't going to kill me, right?

Tabitha: More mashed potato, Miguel? Hmm?

Miguel: No. What?

Tabitha: More food? More of anything?

Edna: Yeah, eat up, hon, because it's delicious.

Norma: Oh, I'll say.

Miguel: I still don't understand how we got here.

Edna: Well, you came down the stairs with the rest of us.

Norma: Yeah, we've been sitting down here, chowing down ever since. More bread, Edna.

Edna: Oh.

Norma: And butter.

Miguel: Weren't we at the Seascape tonight?

Kay: Uh-uh. Nope. Not tonight. No, we were at Ethan and Theresa's wedding and we came back here and Tabitha had whipped up this nice meal.

Norma: Hey, more meat, please. And the gravy.

Miguel: Why do I feel like I was in Hawaii?

Kay: I don't know why you'd feel like that.

Norma: Oh, I know.

Kay: You do?

Norma: Uh, remember? I -- I was showing home movies. Yeah, my home movies of my surfing days.

Kay: Yeah.

Miguel: No. No.

Tabitha: I thought that was a National Geographic special on whaling.

Kay: Yeah.

Norma: You know, maybe you'd fallen asleep, Miguel, but back then, I could hang ten with the best of them, huh? Hey, I was even in the aloha finals one year.

Edna: You don't say.

Norma: I just did.

Miguel: Yeah, well -- well, I just feel so confused because I don't remember walking down those stairs, I don't remember watching your home movies, and I could've sworn, Kay, that we went to the Seascape after Ethan and Theresa's wedding.

Kay: Oh, ok, you know what? It's been a long night. You should probably just lie down.

Miguel: Ok, but please tell me I did not imagine Theresa getting married tonight.

Kay: No, no, Ethan and Theresa, finally married.

Edna: Well, here's to the happy couple.

Norma: Oh, yeah.

Tabitha: You know, Miguel, why don't you just put your feet up and -- and relax here while we go and do the dishes, huh? You do look a bit overwhelmed.

Kay: Yeah, come on. Come over here and just -- come on, and lie down, ok? Just sit here and I'll check on you in a little bit, ok?

Edna: Oh, stop stuffing your face.

Miguel: Ok, first the Seascape, then I was on a beach in Hawaii. What the hell's the matter with me?

Ethan: Are you feeling better?

Theresa: Yeah, much better. Thank you.

Ethan: Good, I'm glad to hear it. Oh, um, while you were away, I -- I took a bite out of one of the strawberries and then I kind of took a couple more bites and a couple more bites after that. There's one left.

Theresa: Oh, my God.

Ethan: I'm sorry, but I -- I left one for you though. One.

Theresa: That's sweet. You can have it.

Ethan: No, I saved it just for you. That is yours.

Theresa: Ok, well, I'd like to have it later and...

Ethan: What?

Theresa: I think it's time that we talk.

Ethan: Theresa, we -- we -- we agreed not to talk, to let it wait, right?

Theresa: I -- I know. I just, um -- I changed my mind. I think I need to say this so that, you know, we can talk about it.

Ethan: All right, I'm -- I'm all ears.

Theresa: Ok, um, all right. What I need to tell you -- what I've been wanting to tell you for the longest time is -- is this. You don't have to hope that the next child that we have together is a boy because, well, Ethan, your dream has already come true. You have a son. It's our son together. Julian isn't Little Ethan's father. Ethan, you -- you're his father. Ethan... oh, my God. Is -- Ethan, Ethan. Oh, my God, Ethan. Ethan, wake up. Ethan, Ethan, wake up, please!

Tabitha: Kay, you have to stop using your magic. Look what it's doing to poor Miguel. He doesn't know if he's coming or going. A few more woo-woos that turn into boo-boos and that lad could lose his tiny mind.

Kay: Ok, I'm going to be more careful. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. I just know that magic will make our lives better.

Tabitha: Good. Keep that thought.

Kay: But it can make our lives better.

Tabitha: [Sighs] The record shows, thus far, that you have made a total mess of things.

Kay: Well, I'm going to get better.

Tabitha: Yes, with practice and intuition, but you --

Kay: Watch this.

Tabitha: No, no, Kay, whatever you are going to do, don't do it. Don't.

Kay: Dishes be clean. Rinse themselves. Edna and Norma aren't worker elves.

Tabitha: That is, by far, the worst spell I have ever heard cast by any witch anywhere.

Kay: Oh, well, it's not Shakespeare, but it's working.

Tabitha: What?

Edna: [Gasps] Normie, Normie, is it too much gin? [Gasps] Or too much salt? Is that plate washing itself?

Norma: That it is, Eddie. Let's make out while it does.

Edna: No, no, no, Endora is watching. Oh, for heaven sakes. Wow.

Kay: Hmm. Thank you. You see? My magic is getting better, way better. This is one spell that's going to work out perfectly.

Miguel: [Coughs] Ok, maybe it's just the stress of the last few months is really getting to me. Suffering, like, post-traumatic stress syndrome. But if -- if I don't just get a grip soon, I'm going to call Dr. Russell, and everything's going to be ok. I'm thirsty.

Miguel: Ok, ok, you did not just see that. You did not just see the dishes in the air. When you open your eyes, everything's going to be back to normal, Miguel. The dishes will be on the table and not airborne. [Sighs] Ok, ok, so much for the power of positive thinking. Now you're just a hatchet and a diaper away from being as crazy as Norma and Edna.

Miguel: I just -- I need some help. I need it now.

Luis: I know you are not capable of hurting anyone. You are much too kind and fair and warm and loving --

Fancy: Oh, ok, please, Luis, you need to listen to me. I have to be honest with you.

Luis: All right, about what?

Fancy: Um, what Pretty said --

Luis: Mm-hmm.

Fancy: Is true. I did throw those pool chemicals at her. I destroyed my sister's face and I'm to blame for ruining Pretty's life.

Alistair: Ok, ladies, how about a little champagne to celebrate Theresa's demise? Hmm?

Rebecca: Well, uh, will you join us?

Alistair: Oh, I'd love to, but I have places to go, things to do, and besides, I -- I'm going to be a widower soon.

Rebecca: Oh, I'll drink to that.

Alistair: [Chuckles]

Rebecca: Will you do me one favor, though? Put Theresa in an open casket, 'cause I always wanted to, well, imagine her going to the great beyond in a big old sombrero and a fake mustache.

Alistair: [Chuckles] It's my pleasure.

Rebecca: Oh, goodie.

Alistair: Ladies, let's remember something, that Little Ethan's paternity will always remain a secret or you're both going to end up like Theresa.

Rebecca: We understand. Don't we, Gwen?

Gwen: Yup, we do.

Alistair: Excellent. Enjoy.

Rebecca: Ok, well, I'd like to propose a toast to Theresa's last breath. It's been a long time in coming, but well worth the wait.

Gwen: Here, here.

Rebecca: Gwen, just think about it. I mean, a life without Theresa. I mean, I can't even imagine it. We both know what a vivid imagination I have.

Gwen: Yeah, but I wish I would have been able to tell Ethan about Little Ethan and see the look on Theresa's face when he tells her that he hates for keeping his son from him. But I guess her being dead will just have to do.

Rebecca: [Sighs] Yeah, I guess it will have to, because I think Alistair is very serious about keeping Little Ethan's paternity a secret and we do not want to cross him.

Gwen: I know. We don't, I know.

Rebecca: I mean, if he's going to do in Theresa with some poisoned strawberries, I wonder what he would do to us.

Gwen: I don't know, but I'm sure he'd want to take us by surprise.

Rebecca: More champagne? Uh, I don't remember seeing Alistair pop the cork on this. Do you?

Gwen: No, I don't.

Rebecca: Ok, why don't we go celebrate Theresa's demise somewhere else?

Gwen: Good idea, because we certainly don't want to end up dead like Theresa.

Rebecca: Uh-uh.

Theresa: Ethan, come on. Come on, wake up.

[Panting and babbling] Oh, God, help me! Somebody, please, help me! Come on, Ethan, wake up. Come on. Please, help me, somebody. Oh, God, Ethan.

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