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Passions Transcript Monday 8/13/07
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Proofread By Jodi
Norma: Always, sugar cake.
Edna: Slave boy, more grapes!
Spike: They are right there in front of you. I still have the kitchen floor to clean.
Norma: Who said you could use a mop? Use your tongue.
Edna: Oh, but feed us the grapes first.
Spike: [Mutters] You old battle-ax.
Edna: What was that?
Spike: I said, of course, your magnificence.
Edna: Oh, ok.
Norma: Don't you want him to peel them first?
Edna: Oh, no, no, no, Normie. All the vitamins are in the skin.
Norma: Ah, my little baklava. This is the life.
Tabitha: [Laughs] You two look like you're having a good time.
Norma: Oh, show her, Spike. Let's do it again.
Edna: Oh, oh.
Norma: I said do it, slave boy, or else.
Spike: I am Spartacus.
Norma: No, I am Spartacus.
Edna: No, I am Spartacus.
Spike: You know what? You can't keep me here like this. This is kidnapping and it's torture.
Spike: And every time you pinch my butt like that, that is sexual harassment.
Tabitha: Listen, your trying to kill us earned you this punishment. But if you would prefer it, I can send you back down to the basement.
Spike: No -- no, not that, never that.
Tabitha: Then you better do what these two ladies tell you to do. And enjoy it while you can, because sooner than you think, Officer Sam is going to be around here arresting you for your crimes.
Miguel: What an unbelievable night, you guys. I mean, this whole night has been like a miracle. I mean, Luis was going to be executed by lethal injection, and all of a sudden, he was exonerated at the last minute.
Simone: Well, my mom sure took her sweet time revealing that Vincent was behind all those crimes. Can you believe it? I have a mass murderer for a half brother and he killed Rae.
Jessica: Hey, don't worry. He'll be punished. Where's Paloma? Wasn't she supposed to meet us here?
Noah: Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you. Dad wanted her to come down to the station and do some work or something like that. She said she would be here as soon as she could.
Jessica: Oh, well, speak of the devil. Hi, Daddy.
Miguel: What's wrong? Is Luis all right?
Sam: Yeah, he's fine.
Kay: Then what's wrong?
Sam: [Clears throat] Jessica, stand up.
Jessica: Well, why?
Sam: Jessica, you're under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Sheridan: What is it? Pretty, let's go.
Pretty: I don't know, Aunt Sheridan, maybe it's not the right time to tell Luis the truth.
Sheridan: No, no, no. Don't get cold feet on me now. Why would you want Fancy to be happy after she hurt you so much? I mean, come on, with a face like this, you're gonna be alone for the rest of your life.
Pretty: [Scoffs] Thanks for reminding me.
Sheridan: Look, um, I'm sorry. Just take your chance, girl. Hurt Fancy the way she hurt you.
Pretty: You're right. Ok, I'll tell Luis right now.
Sheridan: [Sighs] Oh, that's it. Fancy, you are living in a dream world and you are about to wake up.
Luis: I love you. I'm never gonna let anything come between us again.
Fancy: I love you. And all I want is to stay here in your arms forever.
Pretty: Fancy? It's Pretty. Is Luis in there? It's time he heard the truth.
Theresa: Hmm, so this is what it's all about.
Theresa: Just the two of us.
Ethan: I'm never gonna lose you again -- ever. Are you sure you want -- are you sure you want to elope? Because I want to go outside and scream to everyone, "we're together," you know?
Theresa: I think that we should have a big party when we get back, but yes, I want to elope.
Ethan: All right, you're the boss. We'll elope, but we're gonna do it tonight.
Theresa's voice: I have to marry him before Gwen does something to stop me.
Ethan: What --
Gwen: You two busy?
Ethan: Uh, does it look like we're busy, Gwen?
Gwen: Sorry to barge in like this, but I have something to say.
Tabitha: Now then, now then, you two have hogged our lazy slave boy long enough. I have plenty of chores for Spike to take care of while he's still got breath in his body.
Tabitha: I want you to clean my chimney. It hasn't been cleaned in donkeys' years.
Spike: [Mutters] Clean your own damn chimney.
Tabitha: Uh, what did you say?
Spike: I said can't wait to clean the chimney.
Jessica: Daddy, stop.
Noah: Dad, what are you doing?
Miguel: Sam, you can't arrest Jessica.
Sam: I have to.
Miguel: For what, Sam?
Sam: All the dead bodies that were found at the motels and in the field. The governor was furious tonight after what happened at the prison, and he wants answers. A report came in on all the evidence that was found with the bodies and at the various crime scenes. Jessica, my God. Your fingerprints, your hair, your saliva --
Jessica: No, Daddy.
Simone: She was set up. What about the fingerprint -- what about Spike's fingerprint that was found with one of the buried bodies?
Sam: A fingerprint compared to the mountain of evidence that says Jessica has done this?
Jessica: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Paloma: I hate to have been part of this.
Noah: Shh. You've done everything you could.
Miguel: I'm sorry all of this is happening.
Kay's voice: I can't let this happen to Jessica. I've got to stop this somehow.
Sam: Let's go. I gotta get you down to the station.
Miguel: Hey, Sam, wait.
Kay: Ice station zebra.
Kay: Oh, good, it worked. I wish Tabitha could have seen that. Ok, now what? Now what? I've got to stop my dad from arresting Jessica, but how?
Pretty: Fancy! Luis! Answer me.
Sheridan: Fancy! Fancy, are you all right in there?
Pretty: Sheridan, wait.
Pretty: Where are they?
Sheridan: I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.
Fancy: Mm. What a great idea.
Fancy: A cool swim on a hot night.
Luis: Can't get any hotter than it was in your room earlier.
Luis: Do you know how lucky I am? I thought I was going to be put to death earlier, and now here I am with you. I've been proven innocent. I'm free to spend the rest of my life with you.
Fancy: God, I love you.
Luis: I adore you. I will always be there for you, and I know that you'll be there for me. You'll always stand by me.
Fancy: And you'll always stand by me, too, right?
Luis: Of course. There's nothing that you could ever do that would make me ever abandon you.
Luis: Are you all right? Are you cold?
Fancy: Um, maybe a little.
Luis: I should warm you up, then.
Fancy's voice: I can never let him know what happened to Pretty.
Theresa: What are you doing here?
Gwen: Don't worry, this is nothing I haven't seen before. Little Ethan had a nightmare. Ethan, he was asking for you. I just ran into his nanny in the hallway. She wanted to let you know, but didn't want to disturb you so I came right up. I know how close you and Little Ethan are, and I know you would be really mad at someone if they kept something about Little Ethan a secret from you.
Ethan: Ok. Thanks.
Ethan: Ok, um, I will be right back, ok?
Theresa: Ok, yes.
Theresa: What are you up to, Gwen?
Gwen: I wouldn't take that tone with me if I were you. Like I said, Ethan would be really, really mad at anyone who kept a secret about Little Ethan from him.
Gwen: Hey, did I say I was gonna tell him he's the father? No, I didn't. Like your mother always says, Theresa, secrets come out. And when this one does, Ethan is never going to forgive you -- ever.
Sheridan: Where could they be?
Pretty: You know, maybe it's a sign that tonight's not the night to tell Luis about Fancy.
Sheridan: Don't be ridiculous.
Pretty: Wow. I spent a lot of time in this room when I was growing up.
Sheridan: Well, Fancy's room was always so much bigger than yours.
Pretty: My room was nice, too.
Sheridan: Don't forget about that second bedroom that Father spoiled her with -- the princess room.
Pretty: Yes, it was gorgeous.
Sheridan: Still is.
Pretty: Oh, my God. I can't believe Fancy kept this after all these years.
Sheridan: What is it?
Pretty: This bottle of Caron perfume.
Pretty: [Speaking French] Bon soir, ma soeur. Comment ca va? La plume de ma tante est sur le pont d'avignon.
Fancy: How was Paris?
Pretty: Magnifique. Oh, et les hommes -- ooh, la la! It was wonderful, Fance. We just landed and I came straight back here. I'm sorry you couldn't come because you're sick.
Fancy: So you just came up here to gloat.
Pretty: No, I was worried about you, and I missed you. It would have been so much more fun if you had been there. And I went to Caron, had them make this up especially for you. It's unique -- your very own perfume.
Fancy: Oh, Pretty. Oh, it's exquisite.
Pretty: Citrus and musk. Now, that will make the men come running. As if they didn't already. They don't call mono the kissing disease for nothing.
Fancy: You bitch.
Pretty: Oh, I wish you'd been there. Shopping in Paris with mother is not as much fun as shopping with you. She actually looks at the price tags.
Fancy: Ha ha.
Pretty: And that's not all.
Fancy: What, more presents?
Pretty: Ha ha. Oh, nope, not so fast. Now, what is better than Parisian clothing, Parisian jewelry, or Parisian men?
Fancy: [Gasps] You didn't.
Pretty: I did. Ha ha, Parisian pastry.
Fancy: Oh, you angel.
Pretty: Yes, I know. Oh, give me some.
Pretty: Oo, let me try this.
Fancy: I wish Pretty and I could be close again. I guess that's too much to hope for.
Luis: What's wrong? You look kind of sad.
Fancy: I was just -- I was just thinking about how close I came to losing you.
Luis: But you didn't. Come on, don't think about the past. What about the great future that we have to look forward to?
Fancy: I can never lose you again.
Luis: You're not going to lose me. I love you so much. I never will let anything happen to you, ok?
Pretty: It's not right, Sheridan. I should just keep my big mouth shut.
Sheridan: Wait a minute. So, while your attacker, Fancy, shares a night of ecstasy with a beautiful man, you'll be satisfied sleeping alone?
Sheridan: Is it fair, Pretty? Come here. Look at this. Is it fair that Fancy have one more moment of joy after what she did to you? Huh?
Pretty: Stop it. I hate to look at it.
Sheridan: No, look it. Look at your face. Remember how lovely you were before Fancy disfigured you? Before she turned you into a monster?
Pretty: I'm not.
Sheridan: No, mirrors don't lie. So, why should Fancy have one more night of joy when you have to look at this mess every day? Uh-huh.
Pretty: Where do you think they are?
Sheridan: That's my girl. Security should know.
Sheridan: This is Sheridan. Has my niece, Fancy, left the grounds? Well, I want you to check every camera. I want to know where she is right now. Thank you. Oh. There's a visitor at my cottage? Ok. Thanks. Luis and Fancy are at the indoor pool. But I have a visitor at my cottage so I'll be over shortly.
Pretty: Don't take too long. You might enjoy picking up the pieces.
Sheridan: That's it. After tonight, Luis will be mine.
Kay: Jessica, gosh, how am I going to get you out of this mess? Well, I could just destroy all the evidence. You know, but the only thing is that would keep them from convicting Spike when they find him again. Hmm, what do I do? Tabitha, of course. She'll help me fix this. Ok, don't move, anybody, ha ha. I'll be right back. Wait, what am I doing? I can just blink myself over like Samantha in "Bewitched."
Kay: Gosh, that's too hard, never mind.
Tabitha: Well, don't just stand there. Get a brush and pan and clean up all this soot.
Spike: Yes, master.
Kay: Hello. Well, I thought I'd pop over and ask for your advice. Look, I've got a problem.
Tabitha: Yeah, I can see that. We all do.
Kay: What is that supposed to mean?
Tabitha: [Clears her throat]
Sam: Hey, how did we get over here?
Edna: Hey, good looking, you up for a Roman orgy? Boom.
Sheridan: Hello? Is anyone here? I, uh, I was told I had a visitor.
Chris: Hello, Sheridan. We need to talk about James.
Sheridan: Chris. What is it? Is James all right?
Luis: You all right?
Fancy: Yeah, yeah, I'm just tired.
Luis: Don't tell me I wore you out.
Fancy: Are you kidding? Of course you did.
Luis: Ha ha. I guess we just have to go back to bed, then.
Fancy: Well, maybe we can snuggle up on the lounge chair again.
Luis: That sounds like an offer I can't refuse.
Fancy: Um, Luis --
Luis: I thought you said you were tired. Let's just enjoy my first night of freedom together. Ok?
Pretty's voice: You're finished, Fancy. Tonight I tell Luis everything.
Theresa: No matter what you think, Gwen, I'm not stupid. I know I'm going to have to tell Ethan the truth about Little Ethan. And when I do, he's going to be angry with me, but you know what? We're going to work through that. And when we do, we're going to spend the rest of our lives making each other very happy.
Gwen: Oh, see, that's where you are stupid, Theresa. You're too blind to see that you're only going to make Ethan miserable, just the way you always have. 'Cause you are not capable of being happy or making anyone around you happy.
Theresa: That's not true.
Gwen: Really? 'Cause every time you get what you want, you become immediately dissatisfied and you look for the next big thing to feed your ego. You lie, you cheat, you steal. You do whatever you have to to get what you want. And the sad thing is that you never learn from your mistakes. You don't care that your lies hurt people. And this lie? This lie is going to tear Ethan's heart out. He's going to hate you when he finds out that he's Little Ethan's father.
Ethan: What did you just say?
Theresa: Ethan, I --
Ethan: No, wait. Um, what did you just say?
Gwen: About you being Little Ethan's father? Ethan, it's no secret. I mean, you're always together. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the people in this town think it's true.
Ethan: Yeah, well those who don't know the truth.
Gwen: Come on, you've always been like a father to Little Ethan. More so than Julian. I mean, you're always at his sporting events. You even went to the father-son banquet at the country club.
Ethan: Julian went to Switzerland. I didn't want Little Ethan to miss out.
Gwen: I was just telling Theresa that despite our differences, the children always come first. And I really admire the way you are with Little Ethan. Always concerned for him and his welfare. It's a two-way street. You know, he also thinks of you as a father. Like tonight, right? He asked for you in the middle of the night, not Julian. Not Theresa.
Theresa: He asks for me at other times.
Gwen: I'm sure he does.
Theresa: Well, Gwen, thank you so much for telling Ethan that Little Ethan needed him this evening, but if there isn't anything else.
Gwen: You know, actually there is.
Sam: What the hell is going on here?
Tabitha: Endora, Endora. Freeze them.
Tabitha: I told you over and over again not to use your magic powers until you're properly trained. If you're not careful, you're going to expose us all. As it is, I'm going to have to cast a spell on Sam and this motley crew so they forget any of this ever happened.
Spike: What in God's heaven?
Tabitha: Watch your language in front of Endora.
Kay: You're here? You're the one who killed all those sleazy men, aren't you?
Chris: Don't worry. James is fine, physically, at least.
Sheridan: Thank God. You really worried me, showing up out of the blue like this. I thought something was wrong. Why are you here? I thought you were done with me.
Chris: James made something for you at summer day camp. He wanted me to give it to you.
Sheridan: James made this? It's gorgeous.
Chris: Yeah, he's learning how to carve, but I think what it means is more important, Sheridan. I think he wanted you to know how much he misses you.
Sheridan: I miss him, too.
Chris: Yeah, those dozens of phone calls and cards sure helped cheer him up.
Sheridan: I'm sorry, I have been really busy. It's been really hard around here.
Chris: Look, I didn't come to fight, Sheridan. I'm just concerned about James. He thought that the three of us would always be a family.
Sheridan: I did, too.
Chris: Did you really, Sheridan? Or were you just stringing me along the whole time? Was I just a convenient little substitute for Luis, the only man who's really had your heart?
Pretty: Hey, Fance, you want to swim?
Fancy: Yeah, sure.
Pretty: Ooh, it's mine.
Fancy: Ha ha, dream on. Now, if you're very nice to me, I'll share.
Pretty: Come on, you are not going to make me say it.
Fancy: Uh-uh-uh, you know the rules.
Pretty: Please, Fancy. Pwitty, pwitty, pwitty pwease?
Fancy: That's what I like to hear, pwitty.
Pretty: You've been making me say that since I was three years old.
Fancy: You know this is just a dream I'm having. I wish we could both go back to the way it used to be.
Pretty: What are you talking about?
Fancy: See? It's a dream. That's the man I love and you're trying to take him away from me. It's so sad. I mean, I know we used to fight like cats and dogs, but we loved each other once. We were so close before the accident.
Pretty: What accident?
Fancy: Never mind. Forget about it. Just let me enjoy this silly dream. But doesn't it feel like yesterday when we really felt like sisters?
Pretty: Well, wasn't that always a dream? Because sisters would never hurt each other like this, bitch.
Fancy: [Shrieks] Oh, God.
Pretty: Bad dream?
Fancy: [Whispers] What are you doing here?
Pretty: What do you think? I came to tell Luis the truth.
Kay: You're the murderer. Admit it!
Spike: I am so out of here. Oh, come on. Not this again. Let me go.
Tabitha: Now, tell me, what exactly is going on here?
Kay: My dad just arrested Jessica for murder.
Spike: You -- you see? I knew that she was evil.
Kay: Oh, shut up. There's evidence that links Jessica to all those bodies in those hotel rooms and out in that field. But there's also evidence that he did it.
Spike: Hey, give me a break. One lousy fingerprint? There are dozens of bodies up there.
Norma: Ooh, I love this town.
Tabitha: Well, tell your father. He'll arrest Spike. He'll sort it out.
Kay: No, Tabitha. You don't understand. The evidence against Jessica is overwhelming. The only thing that will stick against Spike is that he kidnapped her and buried her alive.
Norma: Oh, you bad, bad boy.
Kay: Norma, please. Look, I'm not gonna let my sister go to jail for a crime that she did not commit. I have to find evidence that he did it.
Norma: Well, get him to confess. Where's my axe? It's -- it's right here. My boys always started babbling when I handed them one of their feet.
Edna: Oh, not now, Normie. Not now. This place is a big enough mess as it is.
Tabitha: You know, Norma had a very good idea.
Norma: Thank you.
Kay: Yeah, yeah, she's right. I'll just cast a spell and make him confess.
Tabitha: No. No, not you, Kay.
Kay: Sassafras and katzenjammer. Let's hear him jabber.
Spike: I did -- I did it. I killed them all. Cuff me. Cuff me, I did it. Please, I did it.
Kay: I did it.
Noah: I did it. I killed them. I did it.
Simone: No, he's a liar. I did it. I'm a murderess. I killed them.
Paloma: No, I -- I did it. I'm the murderer --
Jessica: No, you're crazy. I did it, I'm the murderess. No, I did it --
Miguel: I did it, I'm the murderer --
Sam: Don't listen to them. I did it --
[All talking at once]
Edna: And him, a policeman.
Norma: Oh, murder most foul.
Kay: Oh, God. Now what do I do?
[All talking at once]
Sheridan: I don't know what to say except I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you or James. When I met you, I thought Luis was dead and I honestly thought that I could move on with my life.
Chris: Look, I -- I shouldn't blow up at you like that. I know that you didn't hurt me or James on purpose, at least not at first.
Chris: Look, it's ok. We can't choose who we fall in love with. But what upsets me is that James doesn't understand and he's hurting, Sheridan. He's been moody, he's been way too quiet. And when I finally asked him what was bothering him, he burst into tears and asked me what he did wrong to make us break up.
Sheridan: Oh no.
Chris: And I told him it wasn't his fault, but you know kids. They're gonna believe what they want to believe.
Sheridan: So do adults. Poor James.
Theresa: So, what else do you have to say?
Gwen: Not much. I just wanted to say how happy I am that things worked out with Luis. It would've really been a crime had he been executed.
Ethan: Well, thank you.
Theresa: Thank you.
Gwen: And I'm also very happy for Pilar. You know, what must it have been like for her living in fear that she could lose her son? Can you imagine anything worse? Of course, Julian and Eve aren't exactly celebrating tonight. You know, they find out their long-lost son, Vincent, is a murderer.
Ethan: Yeah, that's awful.
Gwen: Yeah, it's a tragedy. 'Cause, you know, finding out that you have a child should be a time of joy, not one of pain.
Theresa: Ok, if that's all, Gwen.
Ethan: Yeah, Gwen. Thank -- thank you.
Gwen: Ok, good night.
Ethan: So we, uh, better hit the road, huh? We got stuff to do.
Gwen: Where are you, uh -- you going somewhere? It's late.
Fancy: Pretty, please don't do this.
Pretty: I've waited long enough. I'm gonna show Luis that you've scarred me for life and he's gonna know what you're really like.
Luis: [Moans] What's going on? Who's this?
Pretty: Hello, Luis. I'm Pretty Crane, Fancy's sister.
Luis: Pretty. Oh, Sheridan always talked about you.
Fancy: Um, Luis. There's something --
Luis: So nice to meet you, finally. You look upset though. Is everything all right?
Pretty: Not exactly, no. It hasn't been all right for a very long time. Not since Fancy did this to me. It's ironic they call me Pretty, isn't it?
Fancy: Oh, God.
Luis: Wow. You did that to your own sister?
[Everyone talking at once]
Kay: Tabitha, what do I do?
Tabitha: You do nothing. When you do do something, all heaven breaks loose. Endora.
Tabitha: Ah, thank you, sweet pea. Now I can hear myself think.
Kay: Ok, what -- what do we do, ok? Spike has got to go to jail. I'm not gonna let Jessica be punished for his crimes.
Edna: Oh, wait one cotton pickin' minute here because we don't want to lose our houseboy.
Norma: Yeah, Spike comes in very handy.
Edna: This morning he waxed my back.
Norma: And my chest. Groveling is coming along nicely.
Edna: Yes. Oh, and if you squish your eyes like this, he looks kind of cute. Well, he does.
Tabitha: I don't want to lose Spike either. I want him to fix my roof.
Kay: Are you guys crazy? That man has got to go to jail, and for that to happen, I have got to make him confess to those murders.
Tabitha: Kay, I know you want Spike punished, but just leave it to me and stop being so impatient. But first of all, we've got to get all these people out of my house and then we can address your problem.
Kay: No! No more delays. My sister is in trouble and I'm gonna help her right now. Alla-kazam, shipoopy!
Sam: Wait, wait, wait a second here. Weren't we just --
Noah: Just over at Tabitha's.
Kay: What are you talking about? No.
Miguel: Yeah -- yeah, we were just at Tabitha's.
Kay: Ok, everybody please stop. Look, you can't arrest Jessica.
Kay's voice: Darn it. I thought I zapped Spike over here with us.
Kay: You changed your mind?
Sam: I can't arrest Jessica. She's innocent of those crimes.
Kay's voice: My magic has saved the day.
Kay: Oh, good. Dad, what are -- what are you doing?
Sam: Kay Bennett, I know you were the one who killed all those men. All the evidence points to you. You're under arrest.
Sheridan: It kills me that I've hurt James.
Chris: Look, Sheridan, I didn't come here to punish you. James asked me to bring this carving and that's what I've done.
Sheridan: So why didn't you bring him? I want to see him, too.
Chris: I don't think it's gonna be a good idea.
Chris: Sheridan, he needs more time away from you to adjust. If we reunite him with you now, I think it'll just confuse him. I'll keep an eye on him and when he's ready, I will let you visit.
Chris: Good night, then.
Sheridan: Good night.
Sheridan: Oh, James. I got your message loud and clear. I am so sorry that I hurt you.
Sheridan: No, no, I'm sorry, but I can't see you right now. Not you, not now.
Gwen: Where are you going this time of night?
Theresa: You know what? Can we just keep this one our little secret, please?
Ethan: Honey, you know -- you know what? I don't -- I don't see why, because it's gonna be big news tomorrow. It will.
Ethan: Gwen, congratulate us. We are eloping, and tonight, this woman is gonna be Mrs. Ethan Winthrop.
Gwen's voice: The hell she will.
Luis: How could you do that to anyone, let alone your own sister?
Pretty: She's mean, Luis. You don't know her.
Fancy: No, no. I never meant to hurt her.
Pretty: Liar! She made me a freak because she's jealous of me. Look what you did.
Fancy: No. No, no, no. Oh, God. Oh, God. Luis, I just had the most horrible nightmare.
Pretty: Good. It's time to turn nightmares into a reality.
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