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Passions Transcript Friday 7/27/07
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Proofread By Jodi
Hooded demon: Your daughter is ours now, Tabitha, lost to you forever more.
Edna: Oh, are you ok, hon?
Tabitha: Ok? No! That hooded Godzilla wants to take my daughter to live down in sulphur springs -- and I don't mean Arkansas. He wants to tear my child away from me, her mother, and her friends, even Fluffy -- never to be seen again.
Norma: It's evil.
Edna: Pure evil.
Hooded demon: Duh.
Tabitha: You take my daughter away from me, I'll turn you into a set of luggage.
Hooded demon: Remember your place, witch.
Tabitha: Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Edna: A chiropractor could make a fortune off of you, honey.
Tabitha: [Groans] A few dislocated joints are not going to stop me. Ok, give me back my daughter.
Hooded demon: You have failed as a mother, Tabitha. The child stays with me. Endora will fulfill her destiny as a force for the dark side.
Tabitha: I gave her a choice, and she chose to be good.
Hooded demon: You encouraged her, even sending Endora to Esmeralda's "good witch" school.
Tabitha: I think children should have a chance to maximize their potential.
Norma: Daddy sent me to wilderness camp. I could skin an elk in five minutes. Or was it an Eskimo?
Hooded demon: Silence, mortal. You disgust me.
Edna: You're not exactly doing it for us either, hot stuff.
Hooded demon: That odor -- is it the bowels of hell, or you, Edna?
Edna: Well, let's just call it the bowels from hell and leave it at that.
Hooded demon: I should never have sent those bungling witches to take Endora. They failed twice, so I'm here. Come, Endora, an eternity in the netherworld awaits.
Tabitha: No! Noooooo!
Chad: Whitney -- Whitney, wait. Wait, wait.
Chad: Now, are you sure that confronting Vincent is the best way to handle this?
Whitney: Well --
Chad: I mean, even if we find him, you know, he might not admit that he used me to hurt you.
Whitney: Well, we won't know until we talk to him.
Chad: Well, maybe we should -- we should talk to Valerie. You know, do some investigation on our own.
Whitney: No, no, no. We're definitely talking to Vincent first because if he's lying, I'll be able to tell. That bastard. You know, if he did know that he was my brother and that you were his uncle --
Chad: Then what he did is even more suspicious.
Whitney: Yeah, but I just don't understand why he would want to set us up. But if he did do it, I want to know.
Chad: Yeah, I want to know, too. [Sighs] You know, something has always struck me as strange about Vincent. I'm just curious what it is.
Julian: Why are you dressed up in that ridiculous costume? You may be a gay killer, but you're still a Crane, and Cranes don't dress up like clowns on crack.
Vincent: Is that what you think this is? Just a silly costume?
Julian: Well, it's more macabre than silly, but it's a costume, nonetheless.
Vincent: No, Father, this is me -- the real me.
Eve: Julian, do you want to have that drink now?
Julian: No, no. What do you mean that get-up is the real you?
Vincent: Mom knows. Don't you, Mom?
Julian: You mean you've seen him in this sideshow ensemble before?
Vincent: Oh, Mom's not alone. Jessica's seen me in it. So has her father, Judge Reilly, Sheridan, Ethan, and Theresa.
Julian: My God. You're the blackmailer?
Vincent: [Chuckles] Guess it comes with being a Crane by birth.
Julian: My God, our son is the blackmailer.
Vincent: Oh, Dad, but I'm so much more than your son the blackmailer -- so much more.
Julian: What does he mean by that -- what do you mean?
Vincent: See for yourself.
Sheridan's voice: I can't believe what I'm seeing.
Luis: What did you just say?
Fancy: I asked you to marry me.
Luis: Now? Hours before I'm going to be executed?
Fancy: I love you, Luis, more than anyone or anything. I spoke to Father Lonigan, and he agreed to perform the ceremony if you accept my proposal. So? Will you marry me, Luis?
Tabitha: I'll say it again. You give me my daughter back, or there will be hell to pay.
Hooded demon: Watch your mouth, Tabitha, or I may take it along with Endora.
Tabitha: You keep your hands off my daughter or I will be forced to destroy you.
Hooded demon: [Laughs] You will destroy me? How? By calling on your good witch friends Esmerelda, Sabrina, and Clara?
Tabitha: I don't need any backup help. I have the power of a mother's love.
Hooded demon: You and the "l" word. This is what I've been talking about. The reproductive process made you go soft.
Tabitha: I've just evolved, unlike you hardcore devils.
Hooded demon: True evil doesn't change. You have, shamefully, for the better. Say good-bye to your mother, Endora -- forever.
[Sounds of distress]
Norma: Uh-oh. Things are starting to get ugly.
Edna: Oh, no. Tabby's down for the count, and there's nothing we can do to help her.
Julian: Oh, Judas Priest, I wasn't prepared for that.
Vincent: I hear that a lot.
Eve: I told you Vincent wasn't just our son.
Julian: Well, even so, that does not excuse his behavior. I mean, murdering Rae, having sex with Chad -- a married man -- blackmailing Theresa and everyone. What is wrong with my family?
Eve: Find me a pen and paper and I'll make you a list.
Julian: It was a rhetorical question, Eve.
Eve: Julian, are you sure you don't want this drink? Or I could get you a pill.
Julian: No. You need help.
Vincent: Well, finding clothes is a problem. Want to go shopping with me sometime?
Eve: Vincent thinks that it's our fault he's like how he is.
Vincent: I'm messed up because of all the alcohol and drugs you used back then -- both of you.
Eve: Now, I told you that's not what happened. Your problems are psychological in origin, exacerbated by some trauma you suffered in childhood.
Vincent: My problems started with you and Dad. You let them take me away from you.
Julian: I beg your pardon. We didn't even know you were alive. We thought you died soon after you were born.
Vincent: You're my parents, ok? You should have known that I didn't die. You should have known and remembered how that man stole me from the hospital.
Eve: I didn't remember until a few years ago. I'm so sorry.
Vincent: You know, I -- I hate you both and both your families.
Julian: Please, tell me this is all a bad dream.
Eve: No, Julian, this is a nightmare.
Fancy: Say yes, Luis. Say you'll be my husband.
Fancy: Are you still here?
Sheridan: Yes, yes, we are.
Father Lonigan: Don't mind me.
Sheridan: Me, either.
Fancy: Oh, God. I know I'm springing this on you, but along with your mother and Father Lonigan, I believe this is the right time for us to get married. I love and adore you, Luis. You're the only man for me, now and always.
Luis: I love and adore you, too.
Luis: And, I guess what I'm trying to say is, um, I accept. Yeah.
Fancy: [Laughs] Wait, wait. Really?
Luis: Yes. Let's just do this. I want to marry you.
Edna: Witch down.
Norma: I'll give her mouth-to-mouth.
Edna: Hey, what are you trying to do, finish her off?
Hooded demon: Come with me, Endora. The netherworld awaits. It's time for you to fulfill your destiny as a force for the dark side. What the heaven? Where did she go?
Edna: Oh, you got here in time. Norma was about to lock lips with your mummy.
Norma: Audience? What audience?
Tabitha: Oh, thank you, Endora. Oh, Mummy feels good as new. That was a magical kiss. Now, where were we? Oh, yes. You were about to leave empty-handed.
Hooded demon: Nice try, witch, but Endora stays with me.
Tabitha: No, she does not.
Hooded demon: Forget about your mother, Endora. You'll be cared for by the finest nannies in the netherworld -- Lucretia Borgia, Lizzie Borden, and Typhoid Mary.
Tabitha: No, she won't. Endora stays with me.
Hooded demon: Since you seem hell bent on doing this the hard way, so be it.
Norma: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Edna: Norma, honey, it'll hurt if you touch it. Slow but sweet.
Tabitha: Oh, shut up, you two. You will not take my daughter.
Hooded demon: Blah, blah, blah. Come, child, it's time to go.
Hooded demon: Stop stalling and come with me.
Hooded demon: Stubborn child, and with the power to back it up. You'll make a fine dark side witch.
Hooded demon: Excuse me!
Tabitha: Endora, Endora, be careful. Be careful. If you defy the hooded demon, there could be hell to pay -- literally.
Julian: Our son is more than I was prepared for.
Eve: I'll drink to that.
Julian: I so wanted him to love us, to embrace us as we would him. You'd at least think that he'd be proud to be a Crane.
Eve: Well, proud or not, he certainly does act like a Crane. I mean, Alistair would applaud all the horrible things he's done -- murder and probably rape, uh, extortion, blackmail.
Julian: Vincent has terrorized Harmony in ways even Alistair couldn't have imagined.
Eve: And it's all our fault.
Julian: Don't beat yourself up about what's all ready happened. It won't change anything. What we have to do now is just deal with the present. I have to protect Crane Industries from scandal.
Eve: Is that your way of dealing with the here and now?
Julian: Vincent is going to need help. He's going to need a lot of help. It's going to cost money. Crane is what pays the bills. It also has the resources to keep his misdeeds from going public until I have a chance to clean up the mess he's made of so many people's lives.
Eve: Oh, my Vincent. My poor, poor Vincent.
Whitney: Poor Vincent? What about me and Chad? What about the awful things he's done to us?
Father Lonigan: It's so quiet. What's happening?
Sheridan: Luis and Fancy are still kissing.
Father Lonigan: How sweet. I wish I could see it.
Sheridan's voice: That makes one of us.
Luis: You sure you want to marry me? I'm going to be executed at midnight.
Fancy: Luis, how many times do I have to tell you? I love you. Marrying you will make my life complete.
Luis: Mine, too.
Sheridan's voice: Luis used to say I made him complete.
Fancy: Ok, well, since Father Lonigan agreed to perform the ceremony, all we have to do now is have the warden issue a special marriage license, which shouldn't take very long. Father, we'll be right back. And then my dream of marrying you will finally come true, ok?
Luis: Well, nothing like getting married to take your mind off being executed.
Sheridan: [Scoffs] I'll say.
Luis: At least I get to go to heaven being Fancy's husband.
Sheridan: What about Fancy?
Luis: What about her?
Sheridan: Well, after you're gone, she'll be a widow. Her dream of being your wife will have ended as quickly as it started.
Luis: I think she's aware of that.
Sheridan: Ok, ok, I suppose.
Luis: Look, Sheridan, if you're trying to start trouble, you know, I really don't have the time for it.
Sheridan: No, no, Luis, Luis, I'm not trying to spoil things here, ok? I just -- I wonder if Fancy has really thought things through. I mean, yes, you'll be married for a couple of hours, but she's going to be the widow of a convicted killer for the rest of her life. And I wonder if that's a burden that she's ready for.
Hooded demon: If you don't come with me now, your defiance will be punished.
Hooded demon: Don't say I didn't warn you.
Tabitha: Oh, my stars. Endora is standing up to the demon.
Norma: You go, girl. Put the demon in his place.
Hooded demon: Silence! It seems it will require more effort to teach you your lesson.
Hooded demon: I don't like your attitude.
Hooded demon: Ow! How dare you zap me!
Hooded demon: Such insolence.
Hooded demon: How rude.
Hooded demon: Loved ones? Oh, that does it, kid. You are toast!
Tabitha: No, no! You will not kill my daughter.
Hooded demon: Watch me.
Whitney: Poor Vincent? Mom, why would you even say something like -- oh, well, I see you've been drinking. I guess that's the reason.
Julian: Whitney, don't attack your mother. She's been dealing with a lot right now. We both have.
Whitney: Well, who isn't? I just found out that Vincent is my brother.
Eve: Who told you?
Chad: Where is Vincent now? We need to talk to him.
Eve: Well, he was here earlier, but --
Julian: But now we don't -- we don't know where he went.
Chad: You know, I don't believe you.
Whitney: Yeah, I don't either.
Julian: As you can see, Vincent is not here, so why don't you two just run along, and we'll talk later.
Chad: No, we're not going anywhere until we see Vincent.
Whitney: Come on, let's check the house.
Eve: No, Whitney, wait. Ok, Vincent is not here.
Julian: So why don't you just be on your way.
Whitney: We'll leave after we check the house and make sure that Vincent is gone.
Chad: And if we find Vincent, we're going to get him to answer some questions that we have.
Whitney: What is it, Julian? What is it that you know Vincent has to hide?
Sheridan: Look. [Sighs] I know things haven't been great between us -- mostly because of Fancy, but she is still my niece and I love her. I love both of you. And I would hate to see her suffer because she acted impulsively -- again.
Sheridan: Because of what she did to Pretty.
Luis: Oh, Sheridan --
Sheridan: No, no, no, please, just hear me out. Hear me out, ok? We all know that you're innocent. We all know that you were framed. Well, what about poor Fancy? She'll have to carry the public burden of being the widow of a convicted killer for the rest of her life. What if she wants to date again? Say she does meet a man who isn't put off by her "stain." Say they get married and have children. What then? Will her children be teased about their mother? Will they have to suffer then because of Fancy's impulsiveness now?
Luis: [Scoffs] Are you sure your concern isn't just a ploy to keep us apart?
Sheridan: No. No, of course not. Look, if you want to marry Fancy before you -- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If you want to marry Fancy, then go ahead.
Luis: I'm not sure that I trust your motive, but I have to agree, you do have a point. Being the widow of a convicted killer -- that is a burden.
Sheridan: That's all I'm saying. Since we're being honest here, if I really wanted to break up you and Fancy, all I'd have to do is tell you what she did to Pretty.
Luis: Oh, good God, how bad can it be?
Sheridan: No, it's not for me to tell you, but maybe Fancy will as a wedding gift -- so that there won't be any secrets between you two.
Fancy: Luis, the warden gave us our marriage license, so all we have to do now is have Father Lonigan perform the ceremony.
Luis: That was fast.
Fancy: Yeah. [Laughs]
Luis: Listen, about that -- I just --
Fancy: What's wrong?
Sheridan: Um, Luis is having second thoughts.
Fancy: Oh, no, wait. Let me guess -- this is your doing, isn't it, Aunt Sheridan? You won't even let me enjoy the last hours I have left with the man I love.
Tabitha: Oh, poor Endora. I wish I could do something to help her.
Norma: You can, Tabby.
Edna: Yes, Tabby. Tell her that you love her.
Tabitha: You two misfits might be on to something here. Yes, yes. Endora, Mummy loves you! Mummy loves you more than anything.
Edna: Endora's winning!
Norma: I think the demon's almost done for!
Tabitha: Mummy loves you, Endora! Mummy loves you, Endora!
[Hooded demon screams]
Chad: Answer us.
Whitney: What are you hiding? Did Vincent know that he was your son before Valerie found him?
Chad: Did he target me to ruin our marriage? Well? Were we set up?
Julian: Well, I'm -- I'm afraid that Eve and I can't possibly respond to such wild accusations.
Whitney: You can't, Julian, or you won't?
Chad: I think I'm gonna go search the house for Vincent.
Julian: No, Chad, wait --
Whitney: No, no, Julian, unless you want to hit a woman, you will stay here and tell me what's going on with Vincent. Mom, did you know that he was my brother?
Eve: Yes, but I only found out recently.
Whitney: [Scoffs] Why didn't you tell me, Mom?
Eve: Because Vincent has issues, and I wanted to help him with them first.
Julian: We both wanted to help.
Whitney: You two always have an excuse.
Eve: Julian and I only just found our son.
Julian: It's been overwhelming, to say the least.
Whitney: Well, it's certainly been overwhelming for Vincent. I mean, he beat up Valerie.
Eve: Oh, no.
Julian: Is that all that he did?
Whitney: Now, why do you ask that? I mean, what are you guys not telling me?
Julian: Well, as your mother said, it's rather complicated.
Eve: It's just -- it's so very complicated.
Whitney: Ok, I'm so sick of this. I'm sick of all your excuses, Mom. And I'm sick of you trying to manage the truth, you know, like you're some sort of political spin doctor. I mean, cover-ups become secrets and secrets become these huge time bombs. I mean, look what happened with Daddy, to our family -- and now, your latest secret may have helped destroy my marriage.
Fancy: What did you say to Luis?
Sheridan: Why does it matter? Luis is his own man. He can make his own decisions.
Fancy: It matters because you're still trying to come between us. Even in our last hours together, you're trying to keep us apart.
Sheridan: Have Father Lonigan marry you. What do I care? When we're all dead and gone, Luis and I will be together for eternity.
Father Lonigan: Sheridan, why would you think such a thing?
Sheridan: Because of our commitment ceremony in Mexico. It wasn't legal, but in God's eyes, Luis and I were united for eternity.
Father Lonigan: That's not for you to say.
Sheridan: Uh, no offense, Father, but you weren't there, so what do you know?
Sheridan: I'm sorry, but it's true.
Fancy: No, the only truth here is that you had your time with Luis, but you let him go.
Sheridan: Look, I was crazed with grief because Father let Beth steal Marty. I -- I blamed Luis, but I was wrong and I said so.
Fancy: It doesn't matter. Luis loves me now.
Father Lonigan: Ladies, please, this is not the way that Luis should spend his final hours, listening to you argue.
Sheridan: You know what? You're right, Father. I won't let Fancy upset Luis by dragging me into another argument.
Fancy: What -- I didn't.
Sheridan: You're obviously overwrought, so I will just let you calm down.
Sheridan: [Whispers] Come here. Vincent, what are you doing here?
Vincent: You failed to keep up your end of our bargain, Sheridan, so now you're gonna have to pay.
[Hooded demon screaming]
Tabitha: Suffering salamanders! Endora's killing the hooded demon with kindness!
Edna: The house is being destroyed!
Norma: We're all gonna die!
Tabitha: No, if Endora eases up, we will -- concentrate, Endora. Focus, focus! Oh, the demon's almost done for!
Chad: I searched the whole house and no sign of Vincent.
Whitney: Ok, let's go find Vincent and get to the bottom of what's really going on here.
Eve: I'm so sorry, Whitney.
Whitney: Yeah, well, you know what? Sorry isn't helping me.
Chad: Or me. I was with my nephew without even knowing it.
Julian: Oh, please, if you hadn't been with Vincent, you probably would have been in the low down with someone else.
Chad: No, Julian. See, that's just it. I swear there's something different about Vincent. I mean, look, I know this sounds crazy, but there were times when Vincent reminded me of Whitney.
Whitney: Oh, ok, that's just gross. Oh, my God. And you know what? It's like you guys are like this train wreck that just won't stop. How many lives have your secrets destroyed? And how many lives will Vincent destroy?
Fancy: Wait, tell Luis my aunt is delusional, Father, saying she'll be with him in heaven?
Father Lonigan: Our Lord has promised that all who believe in him will share life eternally.
Fancy: Thank you, Father. What did Aunt Sheridan say to you?
Luis: Well, just that if we get married, you're gonna be the widow of a convicted killer in a few hours, that's all. I just thought that might be a burden for you to bear.
Fancy: I don't care about that. All I want is to make the dream of me being your wife come true.
Luis: Oh --
Fancy: I know -- I know we won't have long together, but what time we do have left will be as husband and wife.
Luis: I know. That all sounds good, ok, but listen --
Fancy: Luis -- Luis, we love each other. I want to marry you and I thought you wanted to marry me.
Luis: I do. I want to marry you more than anything. I just don't want you to make some sort of choice you're gonna regret, that's all, ok?
Fancy: I could never regret marrying you, Luis.
Luis: Are you sure?
Fancy: Oh, damn my aunt Sheridan. You were sure -- you were fine about us getting married before she opened her big mouth. Why couldn't Sheridan just let us be happy sharing what little time we have left together?
Sheridan: No, no, I didn't kill Theresa, but you didn't keep up your end of the bargain, either. You never produced Pretty. Now, I know you're the blackmailer, so what's to stop me from turning you in? So with you in custody, Luis will be cleared of all his charges and he won't be executed tonight.
Vincent: That's right, Sheridan. If you turn me in, Luis will live, but he won't be with you. He'll be with Fancy.
Sheridan: [Exhales] Oh, God, what am I gonna do? I can't let Luis die, but I can't let him live with Fancy, either.
Vincent: I can still fix this, Sheridan, just kill Theresa.
Sheridan: Even if I agreed to do that, it's too late. Luis is going to be executed tonight.
Vincent: I can delay his execution in time for Pretty to get here.
Sheridan: You can?
Vincent: Here's a picture of Pretty getting on a plane bound for Harmony earlier today.
Sheridan: How do I know this is a recent photo?
Vincent: See the newspaper in the photo?
Sheridan: Yeah. It's today's date all right.
Vincent: Pretty's winging her way back here even as we speak.
Sheridan: Well, she has certainly changed through the years.
Vincent: Well, she's been through hell, Sheridan. Such hell.
Sheridan: And it all started with Fancy. I will stop her from marrying Luis yet.
[Hooded demon screaming]
Tabitha: Go for it, Endora! You can kill the demon and save us all!
Hooded demon: [Screaming] Uh-oh.
Tabitha: Oh! Oh, Endora. Endora, you did it. Oh, you did it. You did it. You freed us from the boys below.
[Laughs] Oh, my brave little girl. Are you all right? Did the hooded demon hurt you? Huh? Hungry? You can have anything you want! Oh, yes, yes, you're a heroine for saving us from the demon.
Edna: Whoa, that evil demon is -- he's really gone!
Tabitha: Can you believe it, you two? Endora went hand-to-hand with the evil forces in the basement and she won.
Tabitha: Oh, we've witnessed history here, ladies. No, I mean, this is the big picture. Good against evil. Heaven against hell.
Norma: It's interesting how the clash of ideologies usually results in physical destruction. A symbolic corollary, if you will, to the intellectual battle waged.
Tabitha: Oh, isn't she adorable?
Julian: Whitney, you cannot tear into your mother like this. The situation with Vincent is -- it's overwhelmed her as it has me.
Chad: Well, fine, let's blame Vincent. He's the bad guy here.
Whitney: Ok, I forgot I have to get to the prison for Luis' execution. Theresa needs me right now, but this whole Vincent business is not over.
Chad: Yeah, not by a long shot.
Eve: I have to get to the prison, too.
Eve: A coroner called me. He wants me to be there so I can declare Luis dead. He wants me to declare Luis dead. I can't do this when I know that Luis shouldn't be executed, that our son's the one who killed Rae. I can't do it, and I won't!
Julian: No, no! You cannot stop Luis' execution. I won't let you.
Luis: Honey, relax about Sheridan, ok? Ok? Now, look, now that I know you don't mind the stigma of being my widow, we can get married as planned, ok?
[Laughs] All right.
Luis: There is just one thing.
Luis: Just one question that I want to know the answer to.
Luis: Ok. What happened with you and Pretty?
Woman: Is your seatbelt on tight? Thank you. Please put your seat back up. We'll be landing in Harmony soon.
Woman's voice: My God, that woman -- "Pretty" they call her. I can't ever remember a Crane flying commercial. I wonder what her problem is.
Sheridan: So Pretty is on her way to Harmony.
Vincent: But it's up to you to make sure she comes between Luis and Fancy.
Sheridan: Not a problem. In fact, it will be my pleasure to pay Fancy back for stealing Luis.
Vincent: Get off of me!
Chad: The hell I will. I'm gonna kill you with my bare hands.
On the Next Passions:
Eve: I'm not gonna let Luis die for crimes he didn't commit.
Luis: Fancy and I are getting married --
Noah: And it's a double wedding.
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