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Passions Transcript Thursday 7/26/07
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Proofread By Jodi
Edna: Tabby! Help! Save us!
Norma: We can't go back in the basement!
Edna: The torture! Six hours of the "Today" show, every day!
Norma: And no DirecTV!
Tabitha: Jeepers, it really is hell down there.
Norma: We promise to behave if you save us! I'll only kill for food!
Edna: And I'll get extra absorbent diapers!
Norma: Please, Endora, forgive us for trying to kill Miguel!
Edna: Endora! Help your mommy save us!
Whitney: Oh, my God. You knew, didn't you?
Chad: Whitney, what -- what's wrong? You look like you're about to lose it.
Whitney: That's probably because I am, now answer this question. Did you know or not?
Chad: Did I know what?
Whitney: Did you know that your lover Vincent was my long-lost brother?
Vincent: What's the matter, Dad? Aren't you glad to finally meet your long-lost child?
Julian: You're my son with Eve?
Vincent: I'll let you do the honors, Mom.
Eve: Yes, Julian. This is Vincent. Our... child.
Luis: Well, I'm really glad you're all here.
Fancy: We wouldn't be any place else.
Pilar: We decided to come visit you.
Theresa: Have a party.
Paloma: We brought your favorite foods with us.
Noah: The guards are just checking it out right now.
Luis: So, Ethan, does that mean this is my last meal?
Ethan: I did hear back from the governor's office, Luis.
Ethan: My request for a stay of execution was rejected.
Luis: Oh, ok.
Norma: Oh, God! Endora, please -- please help Tabitha save us, Endora!
Edna: The only reason we said we'd kill Miguel is to stay up here with you and Mommy! Tabby, help! Lesbians worldwide are waiting for our comeback tour, "Flannel is Fabulous!"
Norma: We'll give you both a percentage of the profits!
Tabitha: Is it ok, Endora, to try to help them? I mean, I think they do sincerely regret going after Miguel.
Norma: We do, we do!
Edna: Thank you, Endora!
Norma: Thank you so much!
Tabitha: Oh, they're making the boys even angrier.
Tabitha: What's the difference? Oh, of course. Like water these days or dirty air a filter will these mortal lives spare!
Edna: [Cries] Please, Tabby.
Chad: Ok, you're gonna have to say that again, because I'm not sure I heard you right.
Whitney: Well I said that Vincent is my brother, my mother and Julian's long-lost son.
Chad: Oh, my God. Vincent's my nephew? How'd you know that Vincent was my nephew?
Whitney: Valerie told me.
Chad: That's right, Eve and Julian got her to help them find their son.
Whitney: Yeah, and it turned out to be Vincent.
Chad: [Sighs] I don't believe it.
Whitney: What don't you believe? That Vincent is my brother or that your lover is also your nephew?
Whitney: So, you really -- you really didn't know?
Chad: Of course not, Whitney.
Whitney: Ok. I -- I just don't even see how this could be possible. I mean, how could my husband's boyfriend turn out to be my brother?
Chad: He wasn't my boyfriend, Whitney, it was --
Whitney: Ok, just stop, shut up, please -- I don't want to hear it. This isn't about you. This is about me and Simone.
Chad: You're right. You're right, Whitney, she's not gonna believe this, either.
Whitney: I mean, what are the odds, you know what I mean? That your lover is my brother? Like a trillion to one?
Chad: You know what? I think you're on to something.
Chad: Well, remember, Vincent set it up for you and Theresa to find us together.
Chad: So Vincent wanted to cause trouble between us. Maybe even enough to set me up.
Julian: You... are our son?
Vincent: What do you think, Dad? Was I worth the wait?
Eve: Oh, God.
Julian: I have dreamed of this moment for years. I've played it in my mind a thousand different ways a thousand different times.
Vincent: Never like this.
Julian: No, never like this.
Vincent: So, um, shall I call you "Dad," "Daddy," or "Father"?
Julian: Sleazy tabloid reporter. Some down-low home wrecker. Your mother told me more about you, as well, what kind of a young man you are. You're a -- a murderer? What kind of crazy freak are you?
Vincent: I am not crazy.
Luis: Wow. The food smells delicious.
Guard: It does. We inspected it for contraband, didn't find any. I'll be in the corridor. Enjoy your last meal.
Pilar: Your last meal, mijo --
Luis: We're ok, shh.
Fancy: I love you.
Sheridan's voice: I love you, too, Luis. I always have, always will.
Ethan: Luis, I tried to do everything I could. It -- it just -- it just wasn't enough.
Luis: Ethan, don't beat yourself up. I know you did everything you could.
Noah: My dad did, too.
Luis: I know. You realize how lucky I am to have had you all in my corner?
Theresa: It wasn't enough, though.
Luis: No --
Theresa: We all tried, Luis. I did, I tried, but I couldn't stop it.
Luis: Hey, hey, stop. Whatever, right? The important thing is we're all here. Together. Ok? Come on, let's eat. Looks good.
Guard: The priest is here to give Luis his last rites.
Edna: Hurry, Tabitha! We can't hold on much longer!
Tabitha: Horrible suction, horrible pain, filter this wind or I'll go insane!
Norma: It's too late!
Edna: Goodbye, world!
Norma: Oh, oh, oh.
Norma: We're -- we're saved!
Edna: We're stuck. Tabby, hurry up! Before we get hit by a fireball!
Norma: A what?
Edna: A fireball! [Screams]
Tabitha: Oh, that had to hurt.
Julian: What were you just saying about not being crazy?
Vincent: I'm not, I just -- I just get angry sometimes.
Julian: Angry enough to kill?
Vincent: Well, you know what that's like, Father.
Julian: I've never killed another person in my life. Nor have I slept with a man like you have.
Vincent: You think I'm gay.
Julian: Correct me if I'm wrong, but Whitney and Theresa caught you having sex with Chad. Two men in flagrante delicto, how is that not gay?
Julian: Well what?
Eve: Things aren't always the way they seem to be, Julian.
Julian: Am I missing something here? I mean, if a man has sex with another man, it means he's gay. How could you be intimate with Chad and maintain that you're straight?
Vincent: That's a good question. And the answer's even better.
Julian: I -- what is this? What's going on?
Eve: Julian, do you want a drink?
Julian: No, no I don't. I want answers.
Eve: Then I think you need a drink.
Julian: I mean, if you're ashamed of being gay, don't be. It happens in the best of families. But murdering, that's a -- that's a bit of a problem.
Vincent: You know, I've had good reason for what I've done.
Julian: Really? What the hell are you talking about? What has been driving you to behave this way?
Noah: We're glad you're here, Father.
Pilar: Father, I'm sorry, but we didn't expect you here so soon. Did they move up his execution time? I thought we could be with him until midnight.
Guard: Sorry, people, I didn't mean to rattle all your cages, I just assumed --
Father Lonigan: I haven't heard a thing about a change of time. I was here offering last rites to a prisoner who was dying of natural causes, so I thought I would stop by and spend some time with Luis --
Luis: Well, I'm glad you're here, Father. Anyway, we were just about to celebrate. You're welcome to join us, if you'd like, as well.
Guard: Thanks, but you know the rules.
Pilar: You bent the rules before. I'll save you a plate, ok? Come, Father. I hope you're hungry. I've made all of Luis' favorite dishes.
Father Lonigan: Pilar's cooking is heavenly, but first thing's first. My son... Luis, are you at peace?
Luis: Yeah, Father, I'm great.
Father Lonigan: Is there anything burdening your heart or soul?
Luis: No. Father, I'm innocent of the crimes that I've been convicted of.
Ethan: Despite our best efforts to prove otherwise.
Paloma: Our last hope was to catch the blackmailer and get him to confess, but time ran out.
Theresa: There's nothing we can do to stop it.
Luis: They've all done their best. Just came up a little bit short.
Father Lonigan: I'm sorry, Luis, and so is our Heavenly Father. Never doubt that those responsible for this injustice will be called to account at a time and place of our Lord's choosing.
Luis: I know, Father. And I know that I'll have a life after this one. It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to.
Father Lonigan: And your conscience is clear?
Luis: Yes. I'm not taking any secrets with me to the grave.
Pilar: I think you need to tell Luis the truth. Your secret. That Ethan is Little Ethan's father.
Theresa: I -- Luis, I'm sorry, I -- I found out last year in Rome. I should have told you, it's just, you know, a lot's happened and -- the blackmailer, he learned my secret and he's been using that to keep me away from Ethan so that he can have him.
Luis: Oh. That's sick. That's great that Ethan is Little Ethan's father, that -- what about Julian, does he know?
Theresa: Yes. And then that's why I've given him more power at Crane.
Luis: And Ethan? Does he know?
Theresa: I can't tell him. He'll never forgive me --
Luis: But that's beside the point. You need to tell Ethan that he's Little Ethan's father. You have to tell him now.
Norma: Ow, ow!
Edna: Oh, God, we are like two bugs in a zapper!
Norma: Oh, oh, T-Tabitha! Try pulling us off to the side!
Tabitha: Where's my meat hook?
Edna: What are we, two sides of beef?
Tabitha: I have to stay close to the wall or I'll get stuck as well.
Norma: Fine! Just unhook us!
Edna: And hurry up -- [Gasps] Because I see a swarm of bees coming straight on us!
Tabitha: Where is that meat hook? Oh, I know, I know, I put it over there when that last politician stopped by.
Tabitha: What happened?
Edna: Maybe the boys in the basement decided to give up on us.
Edna: Ok. [Wheezing]
Norma: Even I know this can't be good.
Tabitha: Thy demonic-ness.
Tabitha: Ladies, this is the CEO, chief evil officer of my basement. The hooded demon himself. Oh, my demonic-ness, can I get you anything? Cup of blood or a plate of unicorn puffs?
Edna: [Wheezes] Oh, no. The demon has come for us!
Whitney: What does it matter if Vincent knew that he was my mother's son with Julian?
Chad: Because, Whitney, if he knew, then all of this is just a setup to hurt us.
Whitney: Ok, spare me the conspiracy theory, because I'm not buying it.
Chad: Whitney, if this is true, if this --
Whitney: No, no, no, no, it isn't. It's just another feeble attempt to blame Vincent for seducing you. Like you were an innocent victim to his seductive power. Like Vincent hypnotized you into having sex with him a few hundred times, because you're "straight," and you're "not gay," and you "love Whitney," is that what it is?
Chad: I'm not denying that cheating on you was wrong, ok? I'm just saying that if he knew that he was Eve and Julian's son from the start, then maybe he had a reason to be with me out of all the guys in Harmony.
Whitney: Out of all of the gay guys in Harmony.
Chad: You're missing the point here. All right, what if he set this up to hurt me, huh? To hurt us.
Whitney: But why would he do that? I mean, what reason would Vincent have to destroy our lives?
Vincent: What's driving me to do the things I've done? Good question, Pop. And since you asked, I'll be glad to tell you. Just let me get myself together first.
Eve: Oh, dear God.
Julian: What does, uh, what -- what does that mean?
Vincent: You'll see.
Julian: No, I want an explanation now.
Vincent: Relax, Dad. The wait will be worth it, I promise.
Julian: What is going on here? Why is he talking in riddles?
Eve: It's not just talk, Julian.
Julian: What do you mean?
Eve: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Julian: What's wrong with you, Eve?
Eve: Oh, well, let me think. Our long-lost son killed Simone's lover and had an affair with Whitney's husband.
Julian: Well, is there any more?
Eve: Julian, I think you should have a drink. Trust me, I think you'll need a drink.
Eve: Well, you'll see when Vincent comes back out again.
Julian: I don't know who needs more help. You or Vincent.
Eve: Oh no, he does.
Julian: Why, because he's gay? I mean, when did you become so judgmental? Especially in light of Simone's sexuality.
Eve: I am not being judgmental. Vincent is messed up. Both emotionally and psychologically.
Julian: Well, he may be, but he still has Crane blood running through is veins. He's -- he's still my son.
Eve: Oh, he's your son all right, Julian. And so much more.
Luis: I know how much Marty meant to Sheridan and me. Go tell him. Tell him the truth.
Pilar: Do it, mija. Grant your brother's last wish.
Sheridan: I'm so sorry this is happening.
Luis: I know you are.
Sheridan: Did I hear you mention Marty right now?
Luis: Yeah, I was just remembering him.
Sheridan: You'll be seeing him soon. He'll be there to greet you in heaven.
Luis: Looking forward to that.
Sheridan: I wish I was going with you. I just, I -- I wish I was going with you to be with our son.
Luis: Sheridan, listen to me. You've got way too much to look forward to down here.
Sheridan: No, I don't. Not in this life. Not without you.
Fancy: Well, I suppose one last hug won't hurt.
Ethan: How are you holding up?
Theresa: Just sorry that this is where things have come to.
Ethan: Theresa, I can't believe that he is going to die.
Theresa: I'm sorry for other things, too. There's one in particular.
Tabitha: Am I missing something, your demonic-ness? I mean, you have never come upstairs to corral a mortal before and, let's face it, these two are more bumbling than evil.
Hooded demon: Correct.
Tabitha: Well, then what are you doing up here?
Tabitha: You want Endora?
Hooded demon: Yes.
Tabitha: [Yelling] Noooo!
Ethan: Don't you be sorry. You did everything you could, we all did everything that we could. It just turned out this blackmailer was too powerful, Theresa.
Theresa: Look, about the blackmailer... and the secret that he used to control me?
Ethan: You said the secret had nothing to do with us, right?
Theresa: It does have --
Guard: Excuse me. The warden needs the condemned's attorney to sign some papers. Joe here will take you to him.
Ethan: All right, I'm coming. I gotta go. We'll talk later.
Theresa: I tried to tell Ethan.
Theresa: Just didn't know you'd be here.
Sheridan: It's no secret that I still love Luis. Always have. It's the same as you loving Ethan. And his loving Gwen hasn't stopped you any more than Luis loving Fancy has stopped me. The only difference is I'm losing Luis. You're not losing Ethan.
Theresa's voice: Or am I?
Theresa: Secrets. Always secrets.
Man: I know all about secrets.
Paloma: I'm sorry I gave you and Sheridan a hard time when you came to Puerto Arena.
Luis: Well, I'm sorry I treated you like my baby sister when you're really just a young woman.
Paloma: I've turned out all right, haven't I?
Luis: Better than all right. I'm proud of you.
Pilar: Palomita? Go fix Father Lonigan something to drink while I fix him a plate, huh?
Paloma: Si, Ma.
Noah: Luis? I wanted to ask you something.
Luis: Go ahead.
Noah: I'd like your blessing to marry Paloma.
Pilar: Here, mija. Take this to the guard, please.
Pilar: Father? I fixed you a plate with a little bit of everything. I hope you like it.
Father Lonigan: Thank you, Pilar.
Pilar: Would you like anything, Fancy?
Fancy: An honest answer?
Pilar: I'm sorry, what?
Fancy: Ah, well, Father Lonigan and I have been talking about doing something, but, um, before I go through with it, I want your opinion.
Chad: Whitney, look, when I first met Vincent, he came up to me out of all the guys in the bar. I didn't want to talk to him, but he kept the conversation going, you know? Like he knew exactly what to say to make me feel at ease.
Whitney: Can you spare me the details, please, and just get to the point?
Chad: Whitney, look, we both know that Vincent is bad news, right? The way he treated Valerie, how he set you and Theresa up to catch us together. I mean, I just wonder what else he's done.
Whitney: Yeah, well -- I will say this one thing. I mean, if Vincent did set out to target you, his own uncle, for sex, I mean that would be pretty sick.
Chad: And why would he use me to hurt you? What possible motive could he have?
Julian: All right, Eve, now what is going on? You make it sound as if life is about to end as I know it.
Eve: It is.
Julian: Oh, please, all this melodrama. I think the truth is you're using our son's heinous behavior to justify using drugs and alcohol again.
Eve: Maybe I am, Julian, but I think you may want to join me.
Julian: Look, we know he's a sexual predator. We know he's a killer. How much worse can it be?
Eve: Why don't you turn around and see for yourself?
Vincent: Hello, Daddy. What do you think?
Luis: You want my blessing to marry Paloma?
Noah: Yes. Look, I understand this isn't the best time, considering you're about to be -- I mean, considering -- I know I need to get a better job and a future for us, and I will. It's --
Luis: You have my blessing.
Noah: Thank you. I will look after her, I promise.
Luis: Well, you need to promise me something else.
Luis: Ok. Not only do I want you to look after her, I want you to look after my family when I'm gone, you promise me that?
Noah: I'm -- I'm honored. Of course. I promise.
Luis: Good. Because I'm gonna be watching you. And if you don't, I'm gonna haunt you, you hear me? Ok?
Noah: All right.
Paloma: What's going on?
Luis: You'll know soon enough.
Luis' voice: At least I can go to my grave knowing that Paloma and my family have someone looking after them.
Father Lonigan: What do you think, Pilar? Fancy won't do it without your approval.
Pilar: I think it's a great idea.
Fancy: Thanks, Pilar. I do, too.
Man: You're one of Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald's sisters, right? The rich one.
Theresa: For now, yes.
Man: Is it true?
Theresa: Is what true?
Man: The Cranes have lots of secrets? Being on the inside, you must know.
Theresa: Yes, the Cranes are all about secrets.
Man: Yeah. But you don't need to be rich to have them. A secret is why I'm here. What's yours?
Theresa: Well, if I had one, I don't even know if I would tell you.
Man: And who am I gonna tell? I'm on death row.
Theresa: Good point. Ok. My secret's gonna cost me the man that I love.
Man: Your husband?
Theresa: He will be soon.
Man: Wow. What are the odds?
Man: Like I said, a secret is why I'm here. My wife kept a big one from me. When I found out, well... I killed her.
Tabitha: Well. I'm sorry you made this trip up here for nothing, but there's no way in heaven I would let you take my daughter down there. She is staying here with me!
Hooded demon: Tabitha, you have strayed. You were once so evil and ruthless. My prized witch. Now, look at you.
Hooded demon: You've gone soft. Saving mortals? Feeling -- [Grunts] love? You are aiding and abetting the enemies in the dark side's war against goodness and we will stand for it no more!
Tabitha: Message received. From now on I will do better -- oh -- worse.
Hooded demon: I'm sure you will. Without a constant source of sweetness and light to distract you.
Tabitha: I don't understand.
Hooded demon: Endora. I'm taking her with me.
Tabitha: Give me back my daughter, you overgrown lizard! What the? What?
Hooded demon: Endora is ours now, Tabitha. Your daughter is lost to you forever!
Tabitha: No! Nooo! Nooo!
Whitney: Chad, if you think that, you know, Vincent setting you up changes things between us, it doesn't, ok? Because you still cheated on me.
Chad: But you know, if he never came to me at the bar -- you know, maybe I would have gone home alone and stayed true to you.
Whitney: Yeah, right, Chad.
Chad: Ok. Well, maybe that's wishful thinking, but still. If he targeted me or you, don't you think your mom and Julian should know?
Whitney: Yeah. Absolutely. But you know what? Instead of going to them with a theory, why don't we go find Vincent right now and get the truth out of him.
Chad: Are you sure you're ready for that?
Whitney: Yeah, I'm sure. I suggested it, I'm ready.
Chad: What if whatever Vincent tells us is more sick and twisted than we ever imagined?
Eve: Julian, you look like you could use a drink. Or a pill. Or both.
Julian: You're my son? You're Vincent?
Vincent: That's right. Wanna play some baseball, Dad?
Theresa: So -- you killed your wife over a secret that she kept from you?
Man: Yeah, but in my defense, it was a doozy about our son.
Theresa: Your son?
Man: A woman shouldn't come between a father and his son. It's about as wrong as it gets. My wife, what she did to me, it was unforgivable. I was so angry when I learned her secret, I -- I killed her.
Ethan: Um, excuse me. What -- what are you doing here?
Man: Is this your future husband?
Theresa: Yeah. It was really nice talking to you.
Ethan: What about?
Theresa: Well, I just, you know, I wanted to take my mind off of Luis for a few minutes.
Ethan: Right. Uh, did you want to apologize to me before? What did you mean by that?
Theresa: You know, I -- I just kind of forgot, actually.
Ethan: Ok. Hey, it's ok. I understand. It's hard to think about anything other than Luis right now. Come on.
Ethan: I'm sorry to interrupt. I need Pilar, Paloma, and you to come with me. There's some papers that need to be signed as Luis' next of kin.
Pilar: I see. Ok, mijo. I'll be right back.
Luis: Theresa? Did you tell Ethan yet?
Theresa: Not yet.
Luis: Why not?
Theresa: So he doesn't end up on death row for killing me like that man killed his wife?
Fancy: Hey. Um, Luis? There's something I -- I want to ask you.
Luis: Go ahead.
Fancy: Um, ok, well, Father Lonigan and I were talking, and -- [Whispers] No, ok, wait.
Fancy: Well... Luis? Will you marry me?
On the Next Passions:
Luis: Nothing like getting married to take your mind off being executed.
Vincent: Pretty's winging her way back here, even as we speak.
Norma: You go, girl. Put the demon in his place!
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