Passions Transcript Friday 6/1/07 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

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Passions Transcript Friday 6/1/07 -- Canada; Monday 6/4/07 -- USA

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Provided By Amanda
Proofread By Jodi

Tabitha: [Sighs] Oh! Don't forget the tincture of mole tongue, Endora.

Tabitha: Well, I thought that we should take that long overdue holiday together, Endora, hmm? Ah, maybe that lovely dark bat cavern we read about in your storybook would be nice? Oh, yes, that would be marvelous. You and me together with all those stalagmites for as long as we like. Yes, I think I'll, uh, I'll send a note by vulture to your teachers.

Tabitha: Of course, I forgot. Your teachers are mortal, aren't they? And they think you're mortal, too. Oh, all right, I'll just write your teachers a note then.

Tabitha: Who? Oh -- oh, them. Oh, I'd almost forgotten about them. Somehow I think we've seen the last of those old hags. Anyway, by now they must have come to their senses and realized their sheer idiocy of my killing Miguel. I mean, that would put you and me under intense scrutiny for all the wrong reasons. No, I think they will anoint me not only a wicked witch, but a clever wicked witch as well. Anyway, we won't be here by then, just in case.

Tabitha: Well, I guess we will.

Sheridan: Here you are sentenced to die, and you're worried about Father Lonigan?

Luis: He's never been wrong about his premonitions before.

Sheridan: Mm-hmm.

Fancy: What did he tell you exactly?

Luis: Your grandfather, your father, Alistair, tried to have Father Lonigan killed but only succeeded in blinding him.

Fancy: But why?

Luis: [Sighs] Yeah, why? Well, that's the worst part. In a rare moment of humanity, Alistair confessed his sins to Father Lonigan. And Alistair got scared, paranoid that he was gonna reveal everything that he had told him.

Sheridan: But priests are bound to keep what they hear to themselves.

Luis: Well, in any case, Alistair tried to have him murdered. Father Lonigan hasn't seen a thing since that day on.

Sheridan: Oh, my God.

Fancy: And to think I loved my grandfather all those years.

Sheridan: But Alistair's dead, so why is Father Lonigan so worried?

Luis: Because of all the evil lately. And he's not just scared for himself. He's scared for everyone in Harmony.

[Thunder rumbles]

Blackmailer: You claim to know why I'm here, old man.

Father Lonigan: Yes. I could sense you coming. I could feel you getting closer. The spirit of evil making itself known.

Blackmailer: [Laughs] So you know I'm here to take your life.

Father Lonigan: Yes.

Blackmailer: But you don't know how, do you? You can't see me. You don't know if I have a gun, or a knife. You don't know how I'm gonna stop the beating of your so-called pure heart.

Father Lonigan: The weapon you use doesn't matter.

Blackmailer: But you'd like to know who I am, wouldn't you?

Father Lonigan: That is unimportant as well.

Blackmailer: Oh, I don't think so. You're dying to know who dare invades your holy house, ready to snuff out your life, but you don't know. All you know is your time is up. [Laughs]

Ethan: Julian, come on. Whatever it is, just spit it out, all right? You keep going around in circles about the Crane empire and about Little Ethan. I mean, what the heck is going on between you two?

Julian: Well, quite a lot, actually. Do remind me to talk to the decorator about those hideous drapes.

Ethan: Julian, if you're not gonna tell me anything, why don't you just go?

Julian: All right. [Sighs] I will tell you. It actually involves you the most. It's high time you heard it.

Ethan: High time I heard what?

Julian: Something that is going to alter your life, something that's going to alter all of our lives.

Julian: I just learned something of great import, something that truly surprised me, something that "rocks our world," so to speak.

Ethan: You said it involved me, right?

Julian: Yes, it does. You see, Ethan --

Theresa: Mm! Wait!

Julian: All right, now that is enough, Theresa! Ethan, come with me.

Theresa: No, no, no.

Julian: I'm going to tell you what I've been trying to tell --

Ethan: Oh, my God.

Theresa: Julian, you cannot do this.

Julian: Oh, yes -- you must be kidding!

Theresa: No, no, no, I'm serious. I need a few minutes, just a few minutes. Just stay right here. Do not say a word to him. Don't say one word!

Julian: All this stalling will not change what I have to tell Ethan. The truth is the truth.

Ethan: She said she needed a couple more minutes. I think we should give it to her if she needs it. You said yourself it won't change anything, so let's just do what she asks.

Julian: All right, but be quick about whatever it is you're up to.

Theresa: I will be.

Julian: But this is a colossal waste of time. She should just get it over with.

Sheridan: We know you were set up by someone to make you look guilty of Fancy's attacks and those two murders.

Luis: Then whoever it is, they definitely have a lot of pull.

Sheridan: They bent all the rules to rush your trial and see you sentenced to death. And now he's moved up your execution date. He is definitely obeying someone's orders.

Luis: Yeah, but whose? That's the million dollar question.

Fancy: Well, Judge Reilly's not the only person being blackmailed -- look what Theresa's been through.

Sheridan: Yeah.

Luis: I know. Whoever it is they definitely have it in for my family. And the part that I hate most about it is I'm gonna be gone before we ever find out who it is. Look, the two of you, I want you to stop worrying about me, ok? Right now I am more worried about Father Lonigan and what he's sensing.

Sheridan: He actually said that he feels that evil is in our midst.

Luis: Yes. He's never been wrong about this stuff before. Look, it's too late for me at this point. Maybe the two of you can go check on Father Lonigan, though.

Fancy: It is not too late for you, Luis.

Sheridan: You can't give up.

Luis: I'm not giving up. I'm just trying to be realistic. Now, look, the two of you have been great. I really appreciate all the support, but there's just not much that I can do at this point.

Fancy: You can hang on. We'll be out there. We'll find the person behind all this horror and we'll clear your name before they --

Luis: I know you're gonna try.

Sheridan: We will do more than try.

Luis: I don't wanna lose you, Fance.

Sheridan: Look, no one's going to lose anyone. We are going to find a way to stop your execution and end this reign of evil, all at the same time.

Father Lonigan: God loves you. I love you as well as I love all his children. Let me help you.

Blackmailer: You don't fool me, old man. You just want to save your sorry, pathetic self. You think you can break me down with your pity?

Father Lonigan: It's not pity.

Blackmailer: Hah! Well, forget it. It's not going to save you. I'm going to kill you no matter what. Do you still love me now?

Father Lonigan: Yes. Yes, I do.

Blackmailer: Then you're a fool as well as an enemy.

Father Lonigan: No man is a fool for loving his fellow man.

Blackmailer: What about fellow woman?

Father Lonigan: Excuse me?

Blackmailer: Never mind. Let's see if you still love me after this.


Tabitha: That's quite enough, Endora. [Sighs] Frankly, we weren't expecting company.

Bad witch: Why not?

Second bad witch: We told you we'd be back.

Lucretia: We wanted some time to go over our notes to review your case more thoroughly.

Tabitha: Oh!

Tabitha: Well, now that you have reviewed my extraordinary resume as the most wicked resident in Harmony, no doubt you've come to see that my not killing Miguel was not only creative, but shrewd as well. His death would have aroused enormous suspicion about me and Endora. Whereas just knocking him out cold and erasing his memory serves our purpose perfectly.

Bad witch: Your questionable behavior with Miguel was not the only issue on the table.

Second bad witch: No, in fact, we spent the entire evening watching Tabitha Lenox's "Greatest Hits."

Tabitha: Excuse me?

Lucretia: We looked at everything since the days of that little talking doll you made. The one who died becoming human? A good human?

Tabitha: Oh, yes, Timmy. My Tim Tim. [Chuckles] He had a mind of his own, that mischievous little imp. He might have been good, but he wasn't above stirring up quite a bit of trouble with me. Did any of you happen catch some of my atrocities with that mealy-moused cousin Charity? And I was downright vicious when it came to killing her mother, Faith. And then there was that avalanche I caused, you remember that? Oh, I was quite something.

Bad witch: "Was" being the operative word. [Laughter]

Tabitha: I'm still something. I'm evil to the core. There's nothing as wicked as old Tabitha.

Bad witch: Then perhaps you'll tell us, old evil Tabitha, what you're doing with those suitcases?

Bad witch: Planning a little trip somewhere are we? [Laughter]

Tabitha: Actually, yes. Endora and I were just about to take off for a wee holiday, so if you don't mind --

Lucretia: Oh, but we do. We've reached a verdict. We're here to tell you how we've decided to classify you -- as a good witch or a bad witch.

Julian: All this stalling. I'm of a mind to tell you before she comes back -- if she comes back. That way, she can't stop me.

Ethan: No, you won't.

Julian: You aren't the least bit curious?

Ethan: You told her that you'd wait. I'm gonna hold you to that.

Julian: All right. Actually, it'll be more entertaining if she's here. I can't wait to see the look on her face.

Theresa: Ok. All right. This has got to be it. Come on, open up. It's the only way that I can stop Julian from telling Ethan the truth, that Little Ethan is really his son. Oh, God, this has gotta work. This just has to work.

Lucretia: We've studied your moves and motives, scrutinized your relationships with these mortals you live amongst. After steady deliberation, we've come to a unanimous decision regarding your classification.

Bad witch: Perhaps you would like to see some highlights of the last few years.

{Timmy: Oh! Tabitha, Timmy loves it!

Tabitha: And because you've been such a good boy, I'm going to lock Fluffy in the attic for the night.

Timmy: Oh, thank you, Tabitha!

Tabitha: I love you, too, sweet pea. Oh, I love you. Here.

Timmy: What's this?

Tabitha: Another end-of-the-year present. I haven't told you this before. I pretended not to care, but I did. I did care. Oh, Endora, as much as I love you, you're a very bad influence on me. These sickly maternal feelings are recoloring my entire personality. I really feel sorry for Kay. }

Bad witch: And those are just a sampling of what we saw.

Second bad witch: There were numerous times where we saw you taking care of this Kay person.

Bad witch: Don't forget that streetwalker, uh, Jessica something.

Tabitha: Oh, please, I've known those two Bennett girls since they were born.

Lucretia: You were not only kind to them, you punished a perfectly evil degenerate named Spike, when any self-respecting witch would have rewarded him. We could go on, but I think our point's been made.

Bad witch: Seeing how that you have chosen to take care of these mortals that you're supposed to be torturing, we have no choice but to issue the following decree.

Lucretia: We hereby declare you a good witch.

Tabitha: No. No, you're wrong. I can't be. I'm a bad witch. I'm -- I'm rotten to the bone.

Guard: I'll get you back to your cell.

Luis: Check on Father Lonigan for me. I'm worried about him. 

[Sheridan sighs]

Fancy: Why hasn't Ethan called me back? I've left him so many messages.

Sheridan: Don't worry. He's probably just tied up. I know he'll do everything in his power to help.

Fancy: Yeah, I'll try him again.

Sheridan: While you do that, I will go to the church and check on Father Lonigan. Oh, and, by the way, don't think that this is a permanent rapprochement. I'll do as Pilar asked and act as if we're getting along in front of Luis, but nothing has changed. As soon as he's cleared and free from prison, I'll be going after him again. He's not going to be with you, so don't get used to it, ok?

Fancy: You selfish bitch. Sheridan, go check on Father Lonigan and while you're there, ask him to pray for your miserable soul.

Sheridan: Oh, sweetheart, you're the one that's gonna need prayers when you lose Luis to me.

Blackmailer: [Laughs] Still care about me, old man? Still wanna pray for my soul?

Father Lonigan: More than ever.

Blackmailer: Shows how much you know. I don't have a soul.

Father Lonigan: Of course you do. All God's children have souls. Yours is just very troubled -- weary, pained, full of doubt -- but it is there.

Blackmailer: You know nothing about me.

Father Lonigan: I know enough to know that you have been very hurt. I don't believe that you came to this place, to God's house, to kill me. I believe you came to search for something -- something that could give you peace.

Blackmailer: Wrong again.

Father Lonigan: I only pray that I can help you find what you're looking for.

Blackmailer: [Laughs] There's nothing here that I'm looking for, Father.

Father Lonigan: Yes, there is. You just don't know it yet.

Blackmailer: They're all lies, false promises of hope for those stupid or desperate enough to buy into them. That's all there is.

Father Lonigan: Something has moved you. Is it Mary's love for her child?

Blackmailer: None of your business.

Father Lonigan: That's real love. A mother's love for her infant, stronger than any other love but God's.

Blackmailer: My mother didn't love me! Nobody loved me! Nobody cared for me. Nobody touched me, nobody held me. Nobody could even stand the sight of me, so don't talk to me about motherly love.

Father Lonigan: Forgive those who have hurt you.

Blackmailer: Forgiveness is for weaklings. Babies are innocent. They need to be held, touched, taught that they're worth something -- more than just treated like garbage and tossed out into the street. What kind of God creates a baby whose own mother screams in revulsion at the sight of him? What kind of God is that? Tell me, old man. Tell me. I'm too gruesome for even a mother's love.

Father Lonigan: But not to God. God does love you.

Blackmailer: Liar! You can't see me. You don't know the horror.

Father Lonigan: I don't need to see you with my eyes. I'm blind to your physical frailties. And so is God. We see only the goodness in you.

Blackmailer: Monsters don't have good inside them. Monsters deserve to die and make others die as well. Still don't believe me?

Blackmailer: Here! Feel the monster that your God created.

Julian: Oh, all right, time's up, she's not coming.

Ethan: No, no, you said you'd keep your word.

Theresa: Won't you please come in.

Julian: Gladly.

Julian: I was going to tell Ethan, but he insisted that I wait for you.

Theresa: Ah. You might be glad that you did, Julian.

Julian: Why would that be, since I'm the one who's holding all all the cards?

Theresa: Not quite.

Ethan: Enough, come on. Let's get to the point, please.

Julian: But of course. Shall I tell him, or would you like to, dear?

Theresa: Um --

Julian: Fine, I will. Ethan, would you care for a seat? I think you may need it.

Tabitha: Me, a good witch? That's ridiculous! Never in a thousand years. I've always hated that Glinda imposter. I'm a bad witch. I'm a very, very, very bad witch.

Lucretia: I'm afraid we've had no indication of that whatsoever -- quite the contrary.

Tabitha: Well, then you must have been looking in the wrong places. You know what I think? I think you lot made up your minds about me before you even considered my case. I think you're just a bunch of --

Lucretia: Don't say it, for your own sake.

Tabitha: All right, I won't. I don't care what you think anyway. You can call me a good witch from here to kingdom come. I know what I am, and I don't need your stinking stamp of disapproval. Oh, to heaven with the lot of you!

[Witches gasp]

Tabitha: Yeah! And there's more where that came from, too.

Lucretia: Before you insult us further, I think you might want to hear the rest of what we have to say.

Bad witch: After we declared you a good witch, we took a vote.

Tabitha: On what?

Bad witch: On the future of your little witchlet.

Tabitha: What's Endora got to do with any of this?

Lucretia: A good deal. Now that you've been certified as lacking in all of the qualities of a true bad witch, we'll need to see to her proper upbringing.

Tabitha: What are you talking about?

Bad witch: Even though that you have been a total and utter failure as a bad witch, we feel your daughter has promise.

Second bad witch: And as such, we need to protect her from your bent for humanity.

Lucretia: We know she's teetering on the edge of goodness. That's unacceptable. Her evil nature must be nurtured so that she attains the full measure of her wickedness.

Tabitha: What are you getting at?

Lucretia: Isn't it obvious? You're an unfit witch, which makes you an unfit mother for a baby witch.

[Tabitha gasps]

Lucretia: Therefore, by the powers vested in us by the dark side, we are hereby taking custody of Endora from this evening forward. She'll live with us, be raised by us, and the demons willing, become one of the worst beings this universe has ever known!

[Witches cackle]

Lucretia: Say good-bye, Tabitha. You'll never see your daughter again. [Laughter]

Tabitha: No. No. No!


Guard: I'm with a prisoner. Yeah, the hall's locked down. [Sighs] All right I'll come back for him. They need me on one of the cell blocks. You can't go anywhere anyway, so I'll be right back.

[Luis sighs]

Julian: You see, Ethan --

Theresa: You know, a moment, Julian. You might want to let me go first.

Julian: Why would I want to do that?

Theresa: Mm, because I'm a nicer person than you are, because it might be to your advantage, because you don't want to say something that you can't take back.

Julian: Well, I really don't plan to, do I?

Ethan: Here we go again. Will you two please cut it out.

[Phone rings]

Ethan: Excuse me. It's Fancy. I better get this. Fancy, what's up?

Fancy: Oh, thank God. I've been trying to reach you for hours.

Ethan: What's wrong?

Fancy: Something terrible has happened. I have to see you.

Ethan: Fancy, I'm in the middle of something right now.

Fancy: It's a matter of life and death, Ethan. I need you now.

Ethan: Ok, listen, take it easy. Calm down. Where do you want me to meet you?

Fancy: Uh, the Book Cafe as soon as you can get there.

Ethan: All right, I'll be -- I'll be there soon. It's Fancy. She's upset. It probably has to do with Luis.

Theresa: No, you have -- you have to go.

Julian: Yes, by all means.

Ethan: But when I come back, we will talk about what the hell it is you have to tell me, ok?

Julian: [Laughs] You can take that to the bank.

Julian: Did you arrange that? You know all these reprieves are not going to keep me from telling Ethan that he is your little boy's father.

Theresa: Julian, there is something that can stop you from telling Ethan the truth. Do you want to hear what it is?

Tabitha: Never. Never. You can't take my child away from me. I won't let you.

Lucretia: It's not up to you, Tabitha. We can do whatever we want.

Bad witch: It's what's best for the child.

Second bad witch: We want to protect her.

Tabitha: I'll protect her. I'm her mother. I belong with her. She belongs with me. We love each other.

Lucretia: Love! Isn't that just like a good witch to speak of love. There's no place for love in our world.

Tabitha: Listen, why don't you all just get back into your rattletrap jalopy and get the blazes out of here now!

Bad witch: Not without the child.

Tabitha: Listen, listen, if you want a promise -- my promise -- I will give it to you. I -- I promise. I will raise Endora to be as wicked as they come. Look, I'm already instructing her in cauldron cookery 101. Before you know it, she will be wreaking havoc on the entire world. I'll see to it. I promise. This -- this child is my whole life. She's my world. I -- I would -- I will do anything for her. I will do anything for her.

Tabitha: Oh, and I love you too, sweet pea. Now, you go now. We'll -- we'll be in touch.

Tabitha: There, you're leaving then. [Groans]

Theresa: I think you might want to reconsider telling Ethan the truth about our son.

Julian: And why on earth would I want to do that to Ethan? To spare you the heartache you are going to feel when he tells you how much he hates you for lying to him? To spare you the indignity when you're tossed out of this office on your pert little behind, stripped of your son's inheritance and his illicitly gained birthright -- the one you stole from me when you passed him off as my spawn? I wouldn't spare you a dime if you were begging on the street, and that's exactly where you are going to end up when I am through with you. You're going to get exactly what you deserve for steamrolling over me without a care for anyone but yourself. It's time that you were publicly humiliated. In the process, I'm going to take back everything you stole from me.

Theresa: I don't think so.

Julian: Oh, if you think I'm going to back down, you are delusional.

Theresa: No, I just think you might want to hear what I have to say. And once you do, I think you might want to make a deal with me.

Julian: Oh, dream on, dream girl. You have nothing to offer me to keep the truth from Ethan. No deal.

Blackmailer: [Growls] No more talking. Nobody pities me. Nobody.

Father Lonigan: I don't feel sorry for you. I feel compassion for all God's children. I know you have experienced hurt -- a hurt that has twisted your heart and your mind and tried to eat away your very soul.

Blackmailer: Oh, it's eaten away, Father. It's gone.

Father Lonigan: I don't believe you.

Blackmailer: You should. What's left of my soul is a dark, bottomless pit filled with bitterness, pain, and rage.

Father Lonigan: It doesn't have to be. Turn away from the darkness. Look towards the light. Let God shine the light of love into your very soul.

Blackmailer: You think you're talking to me as if I'm some kind of normal person. What's it gonna take to convince you that all that garbage doesn't apply to me? I was born a freak, I'm gonna die a freak. And I'm taking a whole lot of people with me when I go.

Sheridan: Father Lonigan, are you here? Father Lonigan? [Screams]

Tabitha: Oh, Endora. Are you all right, Endora? Oh, well, they have gone. That's all we care about, right? Endora? Endora? Where are you? Endora, where are you? Hey. Endora, now, listen. This isn't the day for games. Come on, come on. Come out, come out, wherever you are. Endora? Endora? Now, Mommy's going to be very cross with you. You're a naughty girl. Endora? Endora? No, no, this can't be true. They were just trying to frighten me. They couldn't have taken her. They couldn't have taken my little girl. That would be too cruel. Endora! Endora! Endora. Oh -- oh, where is she? They've taken her. They've taken my baby, my witchling. Endora!

Julian: I must hand it to you, Theresa. Who would ever have dreamed that you could pull off a respectably convincing poker face? But I know you have nothing to make a deal with, darling. The jig is up. As soon as Ethan comes back in here, I'm going to tell him what you have been hiding from him for months -- nay, years. And you're going to lose all the ill-gotten trappings that went along with having Little Ethan prancing around as the favorite Crane heir.

Theresa: You know, if you could just stop threatening me long enough, I could tell you why you shouldn't be wearing that smug, sure-of-yourself expression.

Julian: All right, get it over with. Tell me what you got, baby, because it's not gonna matter a whit anyway. Because the moment Ethan learns that you have been lying to him, you will not only lose what you've stolen from me by parading your son around as a Crane, you will lose Ethan and you will end up with what you should have had from the very beginning -- the Lopez-Fitzgerald birthright. Nada.

Fancy: Oh, Ethan, thank God you're here.

Ethan: I got here as soon as soon as I could. What is wrong?

Fancy: It's Luis. You can't let them kill him.

Father Lonigan: May the lord be with you now and forever. In the name of the Father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit, amen.

Sheridan: Luis, no.

Fancy: Oh, God, please don't do this to him. Please, no.

Sheridan: Oh, my God.

Fancy: Luis.

Father Lonigan: Now, and at the hour of our death.

Guard: He's gone.

Luis: Oh, my God. I really am gonna die.

[Sheridan screams]

Blackmailer: [Laughs] Seems we have ourselves some company, Father.

Sheridan: Oh, my God.

Blackmailer: Not really. God can't help you now.

Sheridan: Who are you?

Blackmailer: All in good time, Sheridan.

Sheridan: How do you know who I am?

Blackmailer: How could I not? I know everyone around here.

Sheridan: Father Lonigan, Luis asked me to come check on you.

Father Lonigan: That's very thoughtful of you, Sheridan. But as you can see, I'm fine, just a tad busy. We were in prayer, so won't you come back tomorrow?

Blackmailer: Nice try, Father, but she isn't going anywhere.

Sheridan: Why not?

Blackmailer: Because I said so, that's why. Yes, now that you've come here, you've spared me the trouble of hunting you down and killing you elsewhere. What a lucky break, being able to kill two birds with one stone -- or in our case, two losers with one gun.

[Gun cocks]

Blackmailer: Ladies first, as I always say to my better half. [Laughing]

On the Next Passions:

Julian: You're going to lose Ethan. There's nothing you can do to stop it.

Fancy: We have to do something to stop him, Ethan, or Luis is gonna die.

Tabitha: I've come to take my daughter home, witch!

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