Passions Transcript Tuesday 5/15/07 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

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Passions Transcript Tuesday 5/15/07 -- Canada; Wednesday 5/16/07 -- USA

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Provided By Amanda
Proofread By Jodi

Mrs. Bradley: [Screams]

Gorilla: Quiet. You'll scare the zebras.

Mrs. Bradley: You can speak?

Gorilla: Only when I have something important to say. So listen up.

Mrs. Bradley: Glad I have my therapist on speed dial.

Gorilla: You and that damn phone. You should talk on it less and talk to your daughter more.

Mrs. Bradley: Are you implying that I'm a bad mother?

Gorilla: No. I'm telling you straight up. You stink worse than the skunk hut. Whew! Amy's a great kid, and she deserves a great mom who has her priorities straight. You need to put Amy first from now on.

Mrs. Bradley: Wait, wait. You think I'm going to take orders from an overgrown monkey?

Gorilla: I'm not giving you orders. I'm giving you a choice. Be a good mother to Amy, or I'll go ape on you! [Makes ape noises]

Mrs. Bradley: Ahh!

Tabitha: Did -- did I hear someone scream?

Amy: It sounded like Mommy when she found Daddy and my nanny playing Twister.

Tabitha: Yes, well -- ahem. Where is your mother with our water, Amy? I am absolutely parched. Yoo-hoo, Mrs. Bradley! Thirsty animal watchers over here.

Tabitha: Yoo-hoo, Mrs. Bradley! Mrs. -- Oh, my. Shades of Fay Wray and King Kong. Oh, that big monkey's got Mrs. Bradley.

Gorilla: [Makes ape noises]

Julian: Mark my words. You're going to regret not letting Spike finish the job.

Fox: No, no, I won't. I don't know what I was thinking, thinking that having Miguel dead would make me happy. Murder, even if it's for love -- Dad, that is just -- it's wrong.

Julian: I did not say murder was right. The situation with Kay, it's a means to an end.

Fox: No. There has to be another way.

Julian: Well, I am at a loss as to what it is. I mean, engineering Miguel into a life sentence didn't diminish Kay's love for him or her longing to be intimate with him. From where I stand, you're going to lose Kay to Miguel.

Fox: Not if the idea I just got works.

Julian: What is it?

Kay: What are you two whispering about?

Fox: Ah, Kay, I thought you were taking a nap.

Julian: [Laughs]

Kay: I was trying to, but I just kept hearing the door open and close and people talking. What's going on?

Fox: [Scoffs]

Whitney: Oh, the excitement is killing me.

Theresa: I know. Well, you shouldn't have to wait too long to find out if you're pregnant or not.

Whitney: I know, I know, but it still seems like it's going to take forever.

Theresa: That's why you need to focus -- make sure everything is set for Chad's surprise party.

Whitney: Yes, I know. Thanks again for letting me have it here, really.

Theresa: Hey, what are best friends for?

Whitney: Yeah. Well, let's hope a dead man in drag doesn't fall out of the cake this time.

Theresa: Right. J.T. Cornell, shameless in life and shamed in death.

Whitney: Yeah. Too bad you're not any closer to getting the memory stick from the blackmailer than you were back then.

Theresa: Right. That's true, but you know what? I think we should focus on Chad and make sure he has a wonderful time at the party.

[Door opens]

Whitney: Yeah.

Ethan: Somebody say party?

Theresa: Ethan.

Whitney: Hi, Ethan. I -- yeah, I'm throwing a surprise birthday party for Chad tonight, and of course you're invited.

Ethan: Well, great, good. That's good, that's good. Chad deserves a nice surprise. And you do, too.

Theresa: Excuse me?

Ethan: I have another little surprise planned for you tonight.

Noah: Hey, Chad. Chad, what --

Paloma: You have any idea how this bullet got in the wall?

{Chad: This isn't fun and games, Vincent. I'm done with you.

Vincent: Now, you know the rules, baby. It isn't over until I say so. Now let's kiss and make up.

Chad: No.

Vincent: I said, let's kiss and make up.

Chad: I said, no!

[Gun fires] }

Vincent: Are you sure that's even a bullet hole?

Paloma: See for yourself.

Vincent: Well. What do you know?

Paloma: You took the words right out of my mouth. What do you know that you're not telling me, Vincent? Who fired a gun in here?

Tabitha: Oh, that gorilla's got Mrs. Bradley.

Amy: Mommy!

Tabitha: Hey, you. Did you have anything to do with this? Yes, you.

Tabitha: Yes, well, I'm going to be exercising my hand on your little tush if you don't own up to your magic.

Tabitha: Why, in Hades' name?

Tabitha: How can zapping Mrs. B. into the gorilla's cage teach her a lesson? Well, never mind about me. What about Amy? She's going to watch that giant monkey make mincemeat out of her mother. And dark side insurance doesn't cover psychiatric care for mortal children who've been traumatized by a witch's woo-woo.

Tabitha: As Brutus said to Caesar.

Amy: Mommy, I want to play with the monkey, too.

Tabitha: Amy, dear, no. The big monkey can only play with one person at a time, so you'll just have to wait until Mommy's finished. Poor choice of words. Amy, would you like to see the chimpanzees, huh?

Amy: Ok.

Tabitha: Ok. And you, fix this fiasco. Now.

Gorilla: Roger that!

Julian: Oh, I wouldn't say anything's going on. Would you, son?

Fox: No.

Julian: We were just whispering because we didn't want to disturb your beauty sleep. And as for the door opening and closing, it was me checking on this messenger who's supposed to come by with word on a tedious business arrangement that I have to deal with before it spirals out of control.

Kay: Anything I can help you with?

Fox: No.

Julian: No, no, not at all.

Kay: Has Tabitha come home yet?

Julian: Well, not that we know of, no.

Kay: I want her to get back soon, because I wanted to see if maybe she would baby-sit tonight because Whitney's throwing this surprise birthday party for Chad at the mansion tonight.

Julian: Really. I didn't know anything about a party.

Kay: Yes, she actually just called me. That's what woke me up.

Julian: Mm.

Fox: Well, sounds like fun. You know, we should go, especially since I don't know how many more of these little soirees I'm going to be able to make with the treatments and my illness, so...

Kay: Well, we don't have to go if you're not feeling up to it. You know, the truth is, with Miguel being beaten up in prison, I'm not really in the party mood anyway.

Fox: Are you kidding me? We should go. Sounds like a blast.

Julian: Yes, yes, yes, I concur. Just because Miguel is shut off from the world doesn't mean that you have to be.

Kay: Ok. I'll jump in the shower and go get ready.

Fox: Ok, great.

Fox: I just hope my little plan works.

Julian: Well, it has to. That's all there is to it.

Theresa: Ethan. I'm not really up for surprises right now, you know. I've actually had enough surprises of my own to last me a lifetime.

Ethan: Mine's a good surprise.

Theresa: What about the blackmailer? All right, he is always watching us, watching every single move that we make.

Ethan: Theresa --

Theresa: No, no, no.

Ethan: Take it easy, take it easy. I've got it figured out. I want to be with you.

Theresa: I am married to Jared.

Eve: Whitney, I'm here, honey.

Whitney: Mom, hi! Oh, my God, you look beautiful.

Eve: Oh, thank you, baby. I came here early so I could help with the party.

Whitney: Oh, thank you so much. Ok, so Daddy and Simone are ok watching Miles, everything's fine?

Eve: They're in heaven.

Whitney: Ok, good.

Theresa: Um, I'm going to go ahead and call Chad, and tell him to meet me here to work on some "Crane business."

Eve: Ok!

Whitney: Ok, please come in the kitchen with me. I need some help making sure everything is absolutely perfect, ok?

Eve: Of course, honey.

Whitney: Ok, come on.

Theresa: Ethan, Ethan, no, no. No, no, we can't do this. Stop, just stop for a second. Ok, the blackmailer. He's watching every single move that we make, and you know he knew that we were together before, and what happened? You almost died because of it.

Ethan: Shh. I'm still standing. I'm still breathing. I'm here. I'm not going to let that sick freak rule our lives any more.

Theresa: I know, but we don't have a choice. And you know, it's not just our lives that are affected, ok? My brothers' lives are over if I don't stay away from you.

Ethan: Not if I get them out on appeal, Theresa.

Theresa: Well, that hasn't happened yet. And you know what? While we were together, you know, in the safe room? The blackmailer --

Ethan: Mm-hmm?

Theresa: He paid a little visit to Little Ethan.

Ethan: If that freak touched --

Theresa: No, no, no.

Ethan: Touched Little Ethan, I swear --

Theresa: God, thank God, no. It wasn't -- it wasn't anything like that. I mean, my son, bless his heart, he actually thinks that he met a clown. But you know what? The blackmailer, he was just making sure that we know that nobody we care about is safe, ok? So, Ethan, please stay away from me.

Ethan: I don't think I can do that. Sorry.

Jared: Tess. What's going on in here?

Noah: Paloma? Mi amor? Huh. All right, maybe she's in the bathroom.

Noah: You in there, kid?

Noah: Huh. Now, where'd she go?

Paloma: Well?

Vincent: Well, what?

Paloma: Who fired the gun that left this bullet in the wall?

Vincent: Look, I told you, I don't know. Are you sure that's even a bullet?

Paloma: Ah, yeah. Ah! Don't touch it. It's evidence.

Vincent: Of what, a crime?

Paloma: You tell me.

Vincent: How can I tell you something I don't know?

Paloma: Are you protecting your sources? You're a tabloid reporter, right? Did you meet someone here to buy a story from them? Did they want more money than you were willing to give them, so they shot the place up?

Vincent: No.

Paloma: Then, what happened? Who fired this bullet into the wall?

Vincent: I wish I could help you, Paloma. But I can't. I don't know who fired that bullet, much less when, because I didn't hear a gunshot. Now, like I said, I was in the bathroom with the water running, and the next thing I knew, you're here accusing me of lying to you.

Paloma: I want you to be straight with me.

Vincent: I am. Besides, why would I lie? If someone tried to shoot me, don't you think I'd be begging for your help?

Paloma: Not necessarily. You tabloid types live by a different set of rules.

Vincent: Look, for all we know, that bullet in the wall could have been there for years.

Paloma: No, the entry hole is still fresh.

Vincent: Well, then, maybe someone in a drive-by shooting had lousy aim. Which would explain why you heard the gunshot, and why I don't know what happened.

Paloma: Except that the angle of the hole indicates that the shot was fired from inside this room.

Vincent: I don't know what to say. All right? Look for the gun if you want. I have to finish getting dressed.

Paloma: I didn't know we were finished yet.

Vincent: Am I under arrest?

Paloma: No.

Vincent: Then we're done.

Gorilla: Mrs. Bradley -- she's a simian now, too! Welcome to my world.

Mrs. Bradley: Oh! I'm an ape now, too?

Gorilla: You're no ape. [Grunts] You're the gorilla of my dreams. [Grunts] Your lesson can wait. Let me show you what hot monkey love is all about.

Mrs. Bradley: Get away from me, you beast!

Gorilla: [Grunting] Like I haven't heard that before.

Mrs. Bradley: Help! Somebody help me!

Amy: Mommy? Where's Mommy?

Tabitha: I think -- I think your mommy must be playing hide and seek, Amy.

Amy: But I don't see her.

Tabitha: Well, that's why it's called hide and seek.

Tabitha's voice: Endora, you naughty girl. Changing Mrs. Bradley into a gorilla, and a sexy one at that.

Theresa: Jared, hi. Ethan and I were actually just discussing Chad's surprise party that's going to be tonight.

Ethan: Yeah. Theresa agreed to let Whitney have it here. It's kind of last minute, but I think we got a handle on it, don't you think?

Theresa: Mm-hmm. And Whitney thinks that Chad needs some cheering up, so...

Jared: He has seemed a little tense lately.

Theresa: Yeah, so I need to actually go call Chad and tell him to come here to work on some business, and then, you know, he can get here and everyone can surprise him.

Jared: Why don't you call him while we get changed upstairs?

Theresa: Yep, I can do that.

Jared: All right.

Theresa: Ok.

Jared: Come on. I'll zip you up in something beautiful, just like you.

Ethan: There's no way I'm letting this happen.

Ethan: Hey, it's me. Listen, put that outfit that I gave you on and get over here right now. No, I'll meet you out front as soon as I change. All right. Neither Jared nor the blackmailer is going to keep me from Theresa. No one will.

Gorilla: Come here, baby. Give it up for daddy.

Mrs. Bradley: But I'm a married woman!

Gorilla: Which is fine with me. You're a suitor, and I haven't had a date since the Berlin zooedrm?

Mrs. Bradley: Ok, but still, my daughter's still outside.

Gorilla: Amy doesn't know you're you.

Mrs. Bradley: Well, if not me, then...

Gorilla: Mm!

Tabitha: Oh, forget the bird flu. I think we're poised for an outbreak of jungle fever. Will you please turn Mrs. Bradley back into a human this instant?

Tabitha: Well, at least make your big friend forget the monkey business and attend to the business at hand.

Tabitha: Well, you won't think it's so cute when Jack Hanna turns up with his stun gun.

Noah: If Paloma got pulled in to do an extra shift tonight, she would have left a note, but I just -- I'll call my dad and find out what's going on.

Noah: Oh, hey! Where'd you go?

Paloma: I heard a gunshot not long after you left, so I went to investigate.

Noah: Are you ok? I mean, they weren't shooting at you, were they?

Paloma: No, no, I'm fine. I'm just confused. I could swear the gunshot came from the room next door. But when I went to check it out, I found Vincent, that tabloid reporter, coming out of the bathroom.

Noah: You mean, he's our wall-banging moaner?

Paloma: I was too focused on finding who fired the gun and why to ask him.

Noah: Oh -- and rightfully so. So, what did he say? What happened?

Paloma: He swore he didn't see or hear anything.

Noah: But you don't believe him?

Paloma: No. So I looked around, and I found this bullet stuck in the wall.

Noah: What?

Paloma: Eh!

Noah: So, what did he say when you showed him the evidence that someone had fired a gun?

Paloma: Well, he suggested it could have been a drive-by shooting, but that doesn't add up.

Noah: You know, it's funny. There's something that I've been thinking about that doesn't add up, either.

Paloma: What do you mean?

Noah: Well, when I was bringing the food back, I could have sworn I saw --

[Cell phone rings]

Paloma: Sorry. It could be headquarters.

Paloma: Hello?

Whitney: Paloma, hey, it's Whitney.

Paloma: Oh, Whitney, can I call you back? This is not a good time.

Whitney: Well, you know what? This won't take long. I just wanted to invite you and Noah to a surprise birthday party that I'm throwing for Chad tonight at the mansion, ok?

Paloma: Um, Noah and I have plans.

Whitney: Well, no, you have to come. I mean, you just have to. Chad is going to be so disappointed if you don't, and so will I.

Paloma: Ok, we'll be there.

Whitney: Great, perfect. Trust me, you're going to have a blast. All right, bye. Ok, Paloma and Noah are coming for sure.

Eve: Wonderful, honey.

Kay: Well, looks like we're the first ones here.

Fox: I hope we're not too early.

Whitney: Oh, no, not at all.

Julian: Hello, Eve.

Eve: Julian.

Julian: Perhaps we could have a word.

Eve: I need to help Whitney with something.

Whitney: Well, everything is pretty much done, Mom.

Eve: I think you're forgetting something, sweetheart.

Whitney: Oh. Yeah, I guess we should finish up.

Fox: Um, you know, I forgot. I've got to go take my pills.

Julian: Oh, yes.

Fox: So, I'll be back in a few moments.

Kay: Ok.

Julian: Of course.

Kay: Yeah, I think I'm going to go look for Theresa, too.

Julian: Kay. I'd like to speak with you in private.

Kay: About what?

Julian: About Fox and your ongoing adultery with Miguel.

Kay: I don't know what you're talking about.

Julian: Oh, don't play the innocent with me, young lady. I know you've been seeing Miguel behind my son's back. Behind my dying son's back.

Kay: Look, I've admitted that I still love Miguel, but we've never had sex.

Julian: Oh, yes, you have! Starting on your wedding night.

Kay: Oh, my God.

Julian: Did you really think you could lie to me, much less keep your illicit relationship a secret? I have eyes and ears everywhere.

Kay: Well, then you know it's more than sex. Ok, I love Miguel and I've never stopped and I always will.

Julian: If my poor son weren't already dying, then hearing you say that would kill him straight away.

Kay: Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Crane, but that's the truth.

Julian: He has been enduring grueling medical treatments to prolong his life. And what do you do? You seize every opportunity to get down and dirty with Miguel, the man who tried to kill your husband. What a pillar of virtue you are. Wouldn't your father and poor, dead mother be so proud of your duplicity?

Kay: Look. I'm not proud of my situation, ok? But I can't help the way that I feel. And I never meant to hurt Fox. I love him, but it's not the way that I love Miguel.

Mrs. Bradley: Get away from me, you sex starved simian!

Gorilla: [Grunts]

Mrs. Bradley: Your breath wreaks of bananas.

Gorilla: Are you this cold to your human husband?

Mrs. Bradley: It's none of your business.

Gorilla: What about Amy? She sees how you and Mr. Bradley are with each other.

Mrs. Bradley: Just leave them out of this.

Gorilla: Ugh, that's why you're here. To learn a lesson, remember? And part of that lesson is that kids learn about love from their parents. So you better get sweet on Mr. Bradley. Both of you should celebrate having a lovely little girl.

Mrs. Bradley: Celebrate how?

[Kissing sounds]

Tabitha: Endora, will you please change Mrs. Bradley back into a human before it's too late?

Tabitha: And you haven't learned yours, either. Here comes the damn zoo keeper. If -- if -- if you're looking for an escaped emu, it went that way.

Zookeeper: Our zoo doesn't have an emu.

Tabitha: Oh, no, silly me, I meant an elephant. An elephant -- an elephant just came thundering through.

Zookeeper: Yeah, we don't have an elephant, either.

Tabitha: Well, something must have escaped. Why don't you go and catch it before it wreaks havoc in our little hamlet?

Zookeeper: I'm more concerned about an animal getting in the zoo, than getting out. We're only supposed to have one gorilla, and now there's two. And they're trying to mate.

Tabitha: Oh, really, do you think I would be standing here with these impressionable children if those two animals were going to do the deed?

Zookeeper: Maybe it's been so long, you don't remember what it looks like. But those two gorillas are about to share a banana, if you know what I mean.

Tabitha: Well!

Zookeeper: Stand back, I have to tranq the female before she gives the male any diseases.

Tabitha: Oh, no, no, don't shoot.

Fox: The guilt trip Father's laying on Kay ends with her agreeing to the offer. So love Miguel all you want, Kay, because it won't make a difference if you accept it.

[Footsteps]

Eve: Ahh.

Theresa: Ow! Block party!

Whitney: Hey, you look great.

Jared: Being in love is the best medicine there is, right, Dr. Russell?

Eve: Absolutely, honey.

Whitney: Ok, did you get a hold of Chad?

Theresa: Uh, I left a message on his voice mail, so, uh, hope he checks his messages.

Jared: I'm sure he will.

Whitney: Ok, come on.

Ethan: Hey, all right, put this on. Go around back to the terrace off the living room. Stand under a light or something near a light so that people can see you from the living room. All right? Ok, go ahead.

Ethan: Perfect.

Paloma: Mmm.

Noah: Oh, how -- oh, hold on. God, that's incredible.

Paloma: You're insatiable.

Noah: Yeah, when it's this good, I just lose control.

Noah and Paloma: [Laughing]

Noah: Sorry, wait -- a little -- little --

Noah: You know, we should probably stop eating so we can eat a little at Chad's party.

Paloma: You're right, we'd better get going.

Noah: All right, come on. Oh, you know, speaking of Chad. I was going to tell you this before Whitney called, but I -- I could have sworn I saw Chad running away from the motel when I came back with the food.

Paloma: Really, are you -- are you sure it was Chad?

Noah: I'm positive, I -- I called down to him, but he just kept on running.

Paloma: That's strange.

Noah: Yeah, I mean, what would Chad be doing here?

Paloma: Unless Vincent was threatening to print a story about the Crane's and Chad came to stop him.

Noah: And you think Vincent shot the gun at Chad to get him to go away.

Paloma: I didn't see a gun, but that would make sense.

Noah: All right, well, we gotta talk to Chad about this at the party.

Paloma: Yeah, we've got to find out who fired the gun and why.

Noah: Right, exactly.

Chad: Theresa wanted me to meet her in the living room, but -- I wonder what she wants. I haven't thought about work since all this trouble with Vincent started. Oh, jeez, can't let anybody see that.

All: Surprise! [Applause]

Chad: What the --

Kay: Happy birthday.

Fox: Happy birthday, Chad.

Whitney: Happy birthday, honey.

Chad: Whitney, what is this?

Whitney: Honey, are you ok?

Chad: No, I, uh --

Whitney: I didn't mean to give you a heart attack or anything.

Chad: No, baby, I just, uh, I forgot -- I forgot it was my birthday.

Whitney: Oh, honey.

Chad: Oh, thank you.

Vincent: Trust me, lover, this is one birthday you'll never forget.

Tabitha: No, no, don't shoot -- don't --

Zookeeper: I'm -- I'm not killing the female, I'm tranq-ing her.

Tabitha: But -- but -- but the male -- the male and -- and -- they're not -- m-a-t-i-n-G. They're just spending some quality primate time.

Gorilla: There will always be work lunches, massages and personal trainers. But Amy's only young once. This is her time. So let that junk go. Concentrate on the joy that Amy can give you if you let her.

Amy: Have you seen my mommy?

Zookeeper: Lady, get your hand off my piece.

Tabitha: Watch your language, sir.

Tabitha's voice: Endora, turn Mrs. Bradley back into Mrs. Bradley. She's learned her lesson now, that's obvious.

Tabitha's voice: Whatever good you may have done will be undone if Amy sees Queen Kong being tranquilized up close. And not only that, Amy's therapy sessions will replace your playtime.

Zookeeper: What the -- where'd that gorilla disappear to?

Tabitha: Oh, Mrs. Bradley, there you are. Where have you been? We were beginning to worry.

Mrs. Bradley: Uh, well, I was -- I'm not sure where I was.

Amy: Mommy!

Mrs. Bradley: Oh, darling.

Zookeeper: What did you do with your lady friend?

Gorilla: [Whistles]

Zookeeper: Did you just --

Tabitha: You know, I'm a bit confused here. You keep talking about a second gorilla in this cage, but my daughter and I never saw a second one. Did we, Endora?

Chad's voice: Stay in the moment. You left all your problems back at the motel with Vincent.

Chad: Thank you all for coming. Uh, it's -- it's so good to see so many of my friends and family could make it.

Vincent: Happy birthday, man. Nice party, Whit.

Whitney: Ok, how dare he show up at this party after what he did to Valerie.

Chad: Did you invite him?

Whitney: Of course I didn't invite him, Chad. I invited Valerie.

Chad: Well, how would he find out about the party, Whitney?

Whitney: Well, I don't know. He is a sleazy tabloid reporter. It takes some nerve to come here, though.

Chad: He's got brass, that's for sure.

Whitney: Well, I'm not going to put up with it. I'm going to tell him he needs to leave this very second.

Chad: No, no, Whitney, Whitney, stop. Don't make a scene, ok? It's not worth it.

Whitney: Yeah, but I don't want Valerie to walk in here and find Vincent here. That's not right.

Chad: Ok, look, I'll call Valerie. Tell her that Vincent showed up. She can decide to come if she wants.

Whitney: Yeah, but that's not fair. I mean, Vincent is the one who's in the wrong here, not Valerie.

Chad: Ok, ok, don't make a scene. Don't make a scene, ok? It's my birthday, come on.

Whitney: Ok, ok, it's fine. Go ahead and call Valerie.

Chad: All right.

Chad: It's voice mail. Valerie, it's Chad. Look, Whitney and I would like you to know that -- that Vincent crashed my surprise party. Now, you're still welcome to come, but we understand if you don't.

Theresa: So, you're sure you're not overdoing it.

Jared: No, no, I'm fine. Being around you makes me feel wonderful.

Julian: Have you truly considered the consequences of leaving Fox for Miguel? What kind of future you and that dear little Maria would have with Miguel serving a life sentence?

Kay: Theresa and Ethan are trying to get Miguel and Luis out on appeal.

Julian: Well, they won't be successful, will they? The evidence against both of them is overwhelming.

Kay: I don't care, because I love Miguel, and -- and I know that something's going to happen and he's going to be set free.

Julian: Actually, you know, I may be able to help you with that.

Fox: Said the spider to the fly.

Kay: You -- you would help Miguel get out of prison so that we could be together.

Julian: Actually, I know an investigator who could get Miguel off.

Kay: Really? Who? How?

Julian: Well, I'm not at liberty to go into the specifics of that at this point. But just rest assured this person can get the job done.

Kay: Oh, my God, Julian. That would be great. Please have this person do that.

Julian: Well, yes, but I really -- I would like you to do something for me.

Fox: Gotcha.

Whitney: Hey.

Chad: Hey.

Whitney's voice: Oh, my gosh, I need to check my pregnancy test results.

Whitney: Um, I will be right back. Ok?

Chad: Where are you going?

Whitney: Well, um, I'm working on another surprise for you.

Chad: Oh.

Whitney: And I want to see if it's ready.

Chad: And what's that supposed to mean?

Whitney: You'll see.

Vincent: Thought she'd never leave.

Chad: Get lost.

Vincent: Hey, uh, just one thing. The next time you point a loaded piece of steel at me, it better not be a gun.

Chad: Stay the hell away from me, ok?

Vincent: Now, you know you really don't mean that.

Chad: Yes, I do.

Theresa: Excuse me, Vincent, why are you here? Because you know --

Chad: Theresa --

Theresa: It upsets Whitney, Chad.

Chad: It's ok.

Theresa: Ok, you know what? I'm sorry, it's your birthday.

Theresa: [Screams]

Mrs. Bradley: Come on, Amy, let's go.

Amy: You're taking me to your massage?

Mrs. Bradley: No, I thought we'd go get some cotton candy and go put our pajamas on and maybe read a story with Daddy.

Amy: Oh, Mommy.

Mrs. Bradley: [Laughs] Come on.

Zookeeper: The gorilla just waved.

Tabitha: Big deal. I knew an orangutan nurse once that --

Zookeeper: Excuse me, I need to go home. It's been a long day. Way too long.

Tabitha: True, but with the usual cartoon lunacy that your magic tends to create. Endora, you have to be more careful where and when you practice your woo-woo. Otherwise, you're going to get us into big trouble. Big, big trouble.

Theresa: [Screams]

Ethan: Shh, Theresa, Theresa --

Theresa: Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

Ethan: It's me, it's me. It's ok -- surprise!

Theresa: What -- what if -- my God, the blackmailer! I mean, what -- what if he sees us? What -- I mean, he knows everything that we say and every --

Ethan: Theresa, shh.

Theresa: What?

Ethan: I hired an impersonator, ok?

Theresa: You did what?

Ethan: I did. He's out -- he's out on the terrace right now. He's dressed in my clothes. So, if this blackmailer sees him, he's going to think it's me and think that I'm alone out there when actually I'm here, alone with you, and we can do whatever we want.

Vincent: Is that Ethan outside?

Jared: Yeah, he was going out for some fresh air.

Kay: Mr. Crane, if you can get Miguel out of prison, I'll do anything you want.

Julian: Wonderful. I see we understand each other.

Kay: Wait, what exactly do you want me to do?

Julian: Oh, that. I want you to stay with my son.

Kay: What?

Julian: You heard me, dear. If you want me to have Miguel set free, I want you to stay married and faithful. To my son, specifically. Never see Miguel again.

Fox: Perfect.

Eve: Chad, there's an emergency at the hospital. I'm going to have to go. I'm so sorry.

Chad: No, no, it's ok. You just drive safe.

Eve: I will. Happy birthday, honey.

Chad: Thanks.

Eve: Hi.

Noah: Hey, Chad, sorry we're late.

Paloma: Happy birthday.

Chad: Thanks. Look, there's a lot to eat lot to eat and drink. So, uh, enjoy yourselves, ok?

Noah: Well, wait -- I want to ask you, what happened at the motel today?

Chad: What motel?

Noah: Aw, come off it, man. Come on, I saw you running away. I was calling after you and you just kept going.

Whitney: Um, excuse me for one second. Uh, everyone, please, can -- can I have your attention for one second? Um, I have an announcement that I would love to make.

Chad: Baby, what is it?

Whitney: Chad, honey, um, everyone -- I just found out that, um -- we're going to be celebrating another birthday very soon. I'm pregnant.

Vincent: Whitney's pregnant? You're cheating on me with your wife?

On the Next Passions:

Julian: Swear you will never be intimate with Miguel again.

Noah: You were the one who fired this gun at the motel, weren't you?

Person: If they're together, I swear, they're both dead.

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