Passions Transcript Wednesday 11/22/06 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Thursday 11/23/06--Canada; Friday 11/24/06--USA

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Provided By Glynis
Proofread By Jodi

Julian: Thank you.  Thank you, my little squaw. It's been  while since I fired my musket.

 Rebecca: It was my pleasure, Pookie. You can poke my hantas any time.

Julian: Oh, you are a nasty little thing, aren't you? That's why we always connect in bed.

Rebecca: Mm, just admit it, Pookie. I'm a thousand times better than that Eve, and she was a whore.

Julian: That's enough. Eve was a wonderful lover and a joy to be with. You could learn so much from a woman like that.

Rebecca: Oh, please, she's a woman whose whole life was filled with secrets and then lies to protect the secrets.

Julian: All right, stop it. I won't stay here and listen to this.

Rebecca: But wait, we were going to play 'Stuff the Turkey'.

Julian: I need some fresh air. It's suddenly very "fowl" in here.

Rebecca: Damn that Eve. I hope she chokes on a chestnut. Then I'd have something to be thankful for. Ah.

Eve: I hope you're hungry.

T.C..: Eve, why'd you go through so much trouble for me?

Eve: It's no trouble. Besides, it's Thanksgiving. And we have so much to be thankful for. You're on the mend, and

Whitney is happy with Chad, and Simone is happy with Rae, and I'm happy with you.

T.C.: I'm the luckiest man in the world. I still can't believe you came back to me.

Eve: We're both lucky, T.C. we have each other, and we have two beautiful daughters, a beautiful grandchild. I think it's important that we realize each and every day just how fortunate we are.

Man: Simone, is that you?

Simone: Yes, it's me, Father Lonigan.

Father Lonigan: Bless you for once again helping to feed those in need on this day of Thanksgiving.

Simone: Oh, you know I look forward to this every year. But should you be up while you're still recovering from being stabbed?

Father Lonigan: I'm much better, thank you. God has not yet revealed to me why I was attacked. But I'm sure there's a greater good behind it.

Simone: It's like my father having his stroke. I mean, we were very upset, but I think it's gotten him and my mom closer together.

Father Lonigan: Yes, I was very pleased to hear that. You're a friend of Simone's?

Rae: Yes, Father. My name is Rae.

Father Lonigan: Welcome to St. Margaret Mary's, Rae.

Rae: Actually, we already know each other. You gave me my first communion.

Father Lonigan: Why is it that I sense you've been absent from my flock for some time?

Rae: I stopped coming to mass when my parents told me I was no longer welcome here.

Father Lonigan: Merciful heaven, why would they say such a thing?

Rae: Because I'm a lesbian.

Sam: Ivy, what are you doing here?

Ivy: Well, it's Thanksgiving. I didn't want you to miss Thanksgiving dinner, so I brought it to you with all the trimmings.

Sam: Keep your food, ok? I have a lot of work to do.

Ivy: It's Thanksgiving. Why are you working?

Sam: I gave Luis the day off so he could spend with his family, so I could have Christmas off to spend with Grace and the kids.

Ivy: I see.

Sam: I don't think you do. You know Grace and I have been apart for years thanks to you and your schemes. Your sick obsession with me all but destroyed my family. So if you think that I want to look at you, much less eat with you, then think again. The only thing that I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving is that you're out of my life.

Tabitha: Oh! Endora. Oh, Endora, will you please trot these turkeys out of here before someone from outside at Kay's bridal shower looks in and sees what foul things you've been up to? You know, we could be outed as witches and burned at the stake before you've said "Salem, Massachusetts."

Tabitha: Oh, my devil, Endora. You've frozen time in the back yard. Granted. Well, at least Kay and company won't be able to witness all the witchiness that's going on in here. But, Endora, Endora, will you please get rid of these ghastly gobblers? I mean, this is ridiculous. Oh!

Father Lonigan: Rae, your parents are wrong. It's true, the church considers homosexuality a sin. But gays and lesbians are among God's children and are always welcome here.

Simone: Father Lonigan's right. He knows that I'm a lesbian and I've never felt shunned.

Father Lonigan: God bless you both. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go check our volunteers out front.

Simone: We'll finish setting up things to serve here, Father.

Father Lonigan: Thank you, Simone, and you, too, Rae.

Simone: Why were you so cold to Father Lonigan just now?

Rae: I think my parents are right. We're not welcome here, despite what he said.

Simone: Rae, I disagree. St. Margaret Mary's has always been inclusive, not exclusive.

Rae: But we're seen as sinners for loving each other, Simone. And love is not a sin.

Simone: Jessica.

Jessica: I hated being home alone and I didn't know where else to go.

Simone: Why, what happened?

Jessica: I did a terrible thing at Kay's bridal shower.

Rae: Terrible how?

Jessica: I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I push away everyone I love, but I do. Nobody wants to be with me.

Ivy: I know you're angry with me, Sam.

Sam: Oh.

Ivy: I know, but what I did, I did for love, our love. It was so perfect, and Grace had no right to come and steal you away from me.

Sam: Grace is the one with amnesia, Ivy, not you. She didn't interfere with our relationship. You dumped me to go be with Julian long before I even met Grace, remember?

Ivy: No. Alistair and my father forced me to marry Julian, and I only went through with it because I thought you didn't love me anymore. I had no idea my father intercepted all those love letters until it was too late.

Sam: Ivy, Ivy, none of that matters now.

Ivy: It matters to me. I still love you, Sam. I will always love you.

Sam: Ivy, do me a favor, ok? Get out of here, ok, and get a life. You know what? I wouldn't take you back if you were the last woman on this earth.

Tabitha: I give up. These free-range fowl are out of control, and it's all your fault, Endora. Don't you act innocent with me sweet pea. Who else do you think I'm talking to? You're the one who conjured up these cacophonous fowl. At least nobody out in the back yard is witnessing these Thanksgiving theatrics. But really, Endora, it is time to be done with this feathery flight of fancy. Otherwise, there's going to be really big trouble, Endora. Well, use your noggin, sweet pea. Thanksgiving and the dark side are completely incompatible. We dark-siders don't give thanks. We give grief and heartache. Endora, rules are rules and if we don't follow them, then bedlam is sure to ensue.

Pilgrim: Pray tell, what be this place of turkeys?

Tabitha: Well, one guess where this is going.

Pilgrim: Tabitha Lennox? Thy clothes. This dwelling. Candles without flames. Flames that leap to life? Water, from a pipe? Once a witch, always a witch. Seize her.

Tabitha: No. Nostradamus said there would be days like this. Keep your hands off me, you pesky pilgrim.

Pilgrim: I condemn thee to burn at the stake.

Tabitha: Oh, no, not again. Endora, Endora, you've got to save me. Endora, don't let them take me. Help, Endora, help!

Rebecca: Pookie, don't leave now. We haven't even had dinner.

Julian: I've lost my appetite. It's Thanksgiving, and I'm alone without friends or loved ones.

Rebecca: Well, what am I, the ghost of Thanksgiving past?

Julian: Right now, you're a guest who has worn out her welcome. Please be gone by the time I return.

Rebecca: How dare Julian treat me like that, like some sex toy that he can just toss aside when he's through playing with me? I need a real man, a man who appreciates me for the nymphomaniac I am.

J.T.: Is this a knockoff? Hello?

Rebecca: Hi, J.T. It's Becky. I just called to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.

J.T.: Oh, Becks, you are as sweet as pumpkin pie.

Rebecca: Mm, you know how food talk turns me on.

J.T.: Yams, giblet gravy, hot buttered rolls.

Rebecca: Mm, I want you more than ever. Too bad you're not here in Harmony.

J.T. I am.

Rebecca: You are?

J.T.: What would Thanksgiving be without my horn of plenty meeting up with your cornucopia?

Rebecca: Where are you?

J.T.: The wharf.

Rebecca: Stay there. I'll be right there.

J.T.: I can't wait for you to give Thanksgiving spread new meaning.

Ivy: Sam, look, at least eat what I made for you. I was up half the night cooking it.

Sam: Ivy, I said no. And I asked you to leave, and yet you're still here. Please leave, or I'll arrest you for loitering.

Ethan: Mom, Dad, didn't expect to see you two here together. Are you patching things up, by any chance?

Sam: No, son, we're not. And yet your mom can't accept that.

Ivy: I told him I did what I did because I love him.

Sam: And I told your mom that Grace was coming home and we were going to pick up where we left off and try -- try -- to repair all the damage that she's caused.

Ethan: Maybe you shouldn't be in Dad's face right now.

Ivy: I just want him to understand.

Sam: I get it. You don't. Ivy, we are done, finished. Look, I asked your mom to move out, ok, and her things are still there. Look, maybe you can talk to her and tell her to leave me alone before I have to take out a restraining order against her.

Ivy: Do you see how unreasonable he is being?

Sam: Do you see what I'm up against here? Now I don't want you around when Grace gets home, ok? I don't want you around period.

Grace: Ah, I can't wait to get home to Sam. We wasted so much time together because of Ivy. The children have suffered, too. Jessica's married to a pimp, Kay is engaged to Ivy's son, Fox. And Noah's at complete loose ends, no direction. That bitch, for mucking about with my family. Well, at least Sam has finally realized what a truly horrible woman Ivy is and kicked her out of the house. Oh. Hello? How did you get this number?

Tabitha: You pious ninnies. Witches don't get burned at the stake in this day and age.

Pilgrim: Shut thee up, lying hag. Thou wilt soon be a fireball. Go forth. Find me a stake and firewood.

Tabitha: Endora, Endora, you've got to help me. These pesky pilgrims mean business and I don't have the power to send them packing anymore.

Tabitha: Yes, they also introduced religious intolerance to these shores under the guise of religious freedom!

Pilgrim: Lying witch.

Tabitha: Hypocrites, the whole lot of you. I was there at Plymouth Rock, remember? I saw how anyone who didn't embrace ye olde pilgrims' playbook was either axed, pilloried, or dunked.

Pilgrim: Nevertheless, thou art a witch. And you will burn.

Tabitha: Endora, Endora, help me. Save me. Don't let these pesky pilgrims fire your mummy up.

Jessica: I don't know why I do what I do sometimes, and I hate myself for it.

Simone: Kay knows that you've been through a lot lately. I'm sure she won't hold what you did against you.

Rae: You and Kay are sisters, Jess. You love her and she loves you.

Jessica: Well, I hope I didn't cross the line with Kay tonight. If she doesn't forgive me, I don't know what I'd do.

Rae: They look like they could be trouble.

Simone: Just ignore them, maybe they will go away.

Rae: They'll leave, all right. I'll make sure of it.

Simone: Rae, Rae!

Rae: This is a church, we don't want any trouble.

Female teen: You better lose that attitude, dude.

Rae: I have a better idea. Why don't you all leave instead?

Female teen: Girl, why don't you get over yourself?

Rae: Look who's talking.

Male teen: What makes you think we want to cause trouble?

Rae: What do you think?

Male teen: I'm asking you.

Rae: If you're looking for a fight --

Female teen: Chill, girlfriend. We're into loving, not fighting. You should try it sometime.

Rae: What? You think because I'm a lesbian I go around with a chip on my shoulder?

Female teen: Don't you?

Rae: That's it, get out, before I call the police.

Julian: How could you choose a drooling invalid over me?

T.C..: What was that?

Eve: I don't know. I'll just go and have a look.

Eve: Julian, are you out here spying on me?

Julian: I would never have believed it unless I'd seen it with my own eyes that you'd actually rather be spoon-feeding T.C. his dinner than having a wonderful time with me at the mansion.

Eve: Yes, Julian, I would rather be with someone who accepts me than someone who runs my life like they own me.

Julian: Are you saying I treated you like a slave?

Eve: No, I'm saying that you always wanted me to be at your beck and call to do whatever you wanted to do whenever you wanted to do it. So, yes, ok, yes, you treated me like a slave. Thank God I'm free at last.

Pilgrim: There, ye witch is ready to burneth.

Tabitha: Endora, sweet pea, you're naively oblivious to the jeopardy your mummy is in here. I suppose it's partly my fault for having shielded you from the harsh realities of this anti-witch world that we live in. But, Endora, you have got to help get me out of this mess.

Tabitha: Endora, you can't reconstitute your mummy from ashes. These pilgrims, they're serious. They're going to burn me at the stake. Help, me, Endora, save me.

Ethan: Look, Mother, if Dad doesn't want you around, maybe it's best for everyone, especially you, if you give him the space he needs right now.

Sam: Ethan's right, ok? Do what he says.

Ivy: No, I can't give you up, Sam. We belong together. That's why I did what I did, to make things right again.

Sam: See, it's like talking to a brick wall.

Ethan: Mom, I don't think Dad can be more clear. I think he wants you to leave now.

Ivy: No, no. Your father's a proud man. He's just too proud to admit that what I did had to be done to set things right.

Sam: I managed to forgive you for keeping the fact that I'm Ethan's father secret for a long, long time. But to expect me to forgive you for tricking Grace into believing that she was married to David Hastings? I think it's a little much. You ripped my wife away from me, and you ripped my family apart in the process. Now, I'm never going to forgive you. And trying to get me, too, is a waste of your time.

Ivy: I love you, Sam.

Sam: Ivy, don't make me hate you any more than I already do. Take your food and leave.

Ivy: Please --

Sam: Just get out, and stay out!

Grace: Leave me alone, do you hear me? I won't be a victim anymore.

Rebecca: J.T, J.T, I'm here. Gobble, gobble. Where are you? I can't believe it. I came all the way down here and he's a no-show. Ha! Well...

J.T.: Becks, wait.

Rebecca: Well, it's about time. I thought you stood me up.

J.T.: Well, imagining you in that mink with nothing underneath is enough to make me stand up.

Rebecca: Sorry to disappoint you. I'm fully clothed. It's freezing out here.

J.T.: I went to get this so we could play. I know how much you like Bens and Ulysses.

Rebecca: Isn't that Gwen's bag?

J.T.: This is the loot she ended up giving me for me lying to Ethan about Phyllis the maid.

Rebecca: So, most of the money in there is the money from my divorce settlement from Julian.

J.T.: Your point being?

Rebecca: My point being that why don't you just give me that money back, I mean, 'cause then you'd still have the fortune you made from selling my poor dead mother's jewelry.

J.T.: You're funny. You're funny, Becks. Funny and sexy.

Rebecca: I'm serious, J.T. I need this money.

J.T.: You can't have it.

Rebecca: Ok, half then.

J.T.: Uh-uh.

Rebecca: Third?

J.T.: Eh.

Rebecca: 10%?

J.T.: No sprechen sie deutsch.

Rebecca: How can you be so mean to me?

J.T.: I'm a shameless greedy bastard.

Rebecca: No wonder you turn me on so much.

J.T.: You are shameless, too, Becks. And sneaky. And I've never wanted you more. Come away with me. Let's do it on every continent. We'll do it in the sea, on land, in the air.

Rebecca: Well, as enticing as that sounds, we'd run through that money in no time and then we'd be stuck in a window in Amsterdam performing twice a day for tourists.

J.T.: Hmm.

Rebecca: Entertaining the masses, that would be obscene.

J.T.: What if I told you I knew of a way to make even more money?

Rebecca: More money? I'd say tell me all about it, you sexy thing.

Tabitha: Endora, Endora, things are heating up. Will you send these pesky pilgrims packing before the boys in the basement start calling me hotfoot?

Tabitha: Nothing happened.

Tabitha: Oh, my devil, Endora. What have you done now?

Simone: Rae, don't.

Jessica: Ok, I'll hold her back while you leave.

Male teen: Where's Father Lonigan?

Simone: Oh, my God, you guys came to finish him off?

Male teen: You've been smoking, girl.

Female teen: Yeah, dude, these chicks are whacked.

Rae: Get lost.

Male teen: No, you get out of our faces.

Father Lonigan: Is that you, Will?

Will: Yes, father. My friends and I are here to help with anybody who needs Thanksgiving dinner.

Jessica: You are?

Female teen: Yeah, Same as you.

Simone: Oh.

Rae: We didn't know.

Male teen: A lot of people disrespect us on account of the way we look.

Female teen: Don't sweat it, Miss thing. We've been dissed by better than you.

Father Lonigan: It's easier for teenagers at risk to open up to young people who look more like them than straight-laced adults.

Simone: That makes sense, doesn't it, Rae?

Rae: Yes, I suppose it does.

Julian: I may be a bit tipsy at the moment, but you, my dear, are stark raving mad. I never wanted to be your master. I wanted to be your partner, your equal in every way. How could you cast that aside and go back to some man who kicked you out of your own home when he found out that his perfect wife wasn't just so perfect when she was growing up?

Eve: Julian, you listen to me. I hurt T.C. by lying to him day after day for all those years, just like when Ivy lied to you about Ethan. Remember? You were furious. But now that time has passed, he's starting to realize that it was his putting me up on a pedestal as a perfect wife or a perfect mother that made it so hard for him to come to terms with what I had done.

Julian: So I take it that you and T.C. are fine and dandy again.

Eve: For now, yes.

Julian: You're making the same mistake that Ethan is, Eve.

Eve: What are you talking about? What mistake is Ethan making?

Rebecca: More money, J.T.?

J.T.: Mm-hmm.

Rebecca: Feel how my heart is pounding at the thought of all those greenbacks?

J.T.: Uh-huh.

Rebecca: So, who are you blackmailing, you big, strong, rich man, you?

J.T.: No, sorry, Becks, trade secret.

Rebecca: How about just a little hint, huh? I'll make it worth your while.

J.T.: A hint?

Rebecca: Mm-hmm.

J.T.: Ok, being a crack investigative reporter from way back, I've managed to dig up some dirt that people here thought was buried a long time ago.

Rebecca: Ooh, dirty talk. Don't stop now.

J.T.: If I wanted to put the squeeze on a few people today, it would be a million bucks tomorrow.

Rebecca: And nobody can squeeze quite like you, J.T.

J.T.: You've got a pretty good grip yourself, Becky.

Rebecca: Mm, the better to pleasure you with.

J.T.: Oh, before I forget... yes.

Rebecca: What's that?

J.T.: Just your average, everyday blackmail letter.

Rebecca: Who are you blackmailing J.T., who, who, who?

J.T.: Someone with a deep, dark secret is going to have to pay through the nose to keep it that way.

Rebecca: Well, that could be anyone in Harmony.

J.T.: Uh-huh.

Pilgrim: Thou must stop trying to kill our fowl.

Native American: These be our fowl. This be our land.

Tabitha: Ha, it's a pity you people didn't get that in writing.

Pilgrim: We art grateful for thine help thus far. But henceforth, we shall celebrate Thanksgiving on our own.

Native American: Uppity pale face.

Pilgrim: Rude savage.

Tabitha: Excuse me, smoldering mother here.

Native American: Kill the invaders!

Pilgrim: Smite ye locals.

Tabitha: What is this, the early American version of "Kill Bill"?

Pilgrim: Lizbeth! Lizbeth!

Tabitha: Endora, the fire, put out the fire!

Tabitha: Oh, oh, oh. Oh, thank you, Endora. That was a bit of a close call.

Father Lonigan: Will, you and your friends can help in the kitchen serving Thanksgiving dinner.

Will: Sweet.

Female teen: Awesome.

Will: Give me five, Padre.

All: We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing. He chastens and hastens His will to make known

Rae: I feel terrible. I judged those kids by the way they looked, which to me was threatening. I did the very thing I don't want people to do to me -- label me as a gay woman and think that I'm someone who wears flannel shirts and plays pool and changes the oil in my truck for fun.

Simone: Rae, we all have preconceived notions about certain people. But I think the trick is just put aside those stereotypes and see people for who they really are.

Rae: Like me judging Father Lonigan.

Simone: Maybe you can cut him a break. Just because he wears a clerical collar doesn't mean he can't be tolerant of who we are.

Rae: You're right, Simone. I'll give the padre another chance. Judge not lest ye be judged.

Simone: That's my good girl. And I bet Kay gives you another chance, too.

Eve: Answer me, Julian. What are you talking about? What mistake is Ethan making?

Julian: He is staying with Gwen out of guilt.  Everyone, including Gwen knows that Ethan loves Theresa much more.

Eve: So you think that I'm staying with T.C. out of obligation.

Julian: Well, that or guilt, whatever you want to call it. How can you honestly love T.C. more than me? He's angry, he's unforgiving, he's judgmental.

Eve: And you're not?

Julian: Fine, you stay here. You feed him, you wipe his drool, you change his diapers. I don't give a damn.

Eve: Julian. Julian!

Ethan: Mother, come on, let's go.

Ivy: No, not with your father so angry with me. I love him so much.  Sam, I really do, I always have.

Sam: Ivy, listen, I'm not going to go another round with you, ok? Just do what Ethan says and leave with him now.

Ivy: Where am I going to go, Sam? What am I going to do?

Sam: I don't know. Why don't you call David Hastings? Maybe you two --

Ethan: Dad, Dad, that's not helping, is it?

Sam: Look, Ivy, wherever you go, you need to move on with your life.

Ivy: No.

Sam: Yes. Ivy, I am going to be with Grace when she comes back, ok, and there's nothing you can do to change that.

Ethan: It's time to go, come on. It's ok.

Sam: Don't you worry, Grace. Ivy's never going to come between us again.

Grace: I'm not going to listen to one more word that you say -- no. No! My mind is made up and you are not going to stop me.

Rebecca: Mm, oh, J.T., would you give it up for your little Becky wecky?

J.T.: Ok, but make it quick. You know what the cold does.

Rebecca: Not that. Tell me who you're blackmailing.

J.T.: No, Becks, sorry, no can do.

Rebecca: Ok, well, but what if something were to happen to you? Wouldn't you want your work to go on?

J.T.: My unrelenting pursuit of the truth and the high price of keeping it quiet?

Rebecca: Exactly. Now, if you were to tell me who it is you're blackmailing, then if you suddenly turned up dead, I could make sure that the blackmail-ee still paid up.

J.T.: Wow, no stiff could have a better friend than you.

Rebecca: Aw, J.T.

J.T.: But don't worry. My life is not in danger because I've got all the life insurance I need...right here.

Rebecca: But it's so small.

J.T.: I told you, the cold -- oh, you mean this gizmo, yes.

Rebecca: So, whatever's in there, it's really that valuable?

J.T.: Mm-hmm. You have no idea.

Rebecca: Really. It's worth that much?

J.T.: And then some.

Rebecca: Huh, imagine that.

Tabitha: Endora, will you please curb your enthusiasm for Thanksgiving? Halloween is our time to give thanks... for ghouls and goblins and ghosts and gore. Will you please remember that and conduct yourself accordingly in future? And listen, will you please get rid of these infernal turkeys now? They're getting on my nerves.

Tabitha: Oh, well done, well done, my little witchlet. Now, all we have to do is unfreeze everyone in the back yard and then we can pick up where we left off.

Tabitha: Oh, bravo, Endora. Excellent rebooting of the time-space continuum. Ok, now I think everything is back on track. And no harm has been done. Wait a minute. Who is that out there in the back yard with Fox? Yo bowl, zoom in. Zoom in closer on that companion of Fox's. Oh, hell's bells and buckets of blood. Endora, I think it's that woman, that blonde I saw earlier upstairs. Bowl, go closer, go closer. Oh, Endora. We're doomed.

Endora: Oh no!

Tabitha: Charity is back in Harmony.

On the Next Passions

Tabitha: If Charity is back in town, our days could be numbered.

Charity: Hi, Kay.

Kay: Charity?

Fancy: I'm just trying to make things easier by steering clear of you.

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