Passions Transcript Friday 8/25/06 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Friday 8/25/06--Canada; Monday 8/28/06--USA
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Provided By Eric
Proofread by Jodi

Kay: Ok, Miguel is sitting with his mom at the hospital.  This is the perfect time to start the spell that will remove the mermaid's curse from Fox.

Tabitha: Yeah.  Auntie Kay needs all your help today, Endora.  As much as I loathe the term, you're going to be doing a good deed.  If the spell works, Siren will never be able to ruin another man's life with her seductive charms. 

Kay: Once Fox is free from the curse, we'll use the other spell to get rid of Siren once and for all. 

Tabitha: Shh.  Don't let Endora hear you say that.  She's very attached to her mermaid. 

Kay: Ok.  So do we have all the ingredients?

Tabitha: Yes, everything except the special one, that'll come later, ok?

Kay: Wait.  What about the fire and the cauldron?

Tabitha:  Oh.  Endora, darling?  Endora. 

Kay: Oh!  You are so handy to have around the house.  Ok, let's take a look.  Oh gosh, this spell is really complicated, huh?  All these ingredients.

Tabitha: Yes, it is a tad over the top, I think.

Kay: A tad?  I hope Fox and Siren don't realize what we're doing.

Fox: What's that supposed to mean?

Fancy:  Who knew ballistics could be so fascinating?

Luis: That's what makes me so damn angry.  It proves it was the same gun used to shoot Chris and my mother, the same one used in that nightclub shooting, Spike's nightclub, months ago.  I'm telling you something stinks about this. 

Fancy:  Spike?

Luis: Well that's a given.  I'm talking about Chris, too. 

Fancy: You're sure they're connected?

Luis: Well I don't believe in coincidences.  I'm gonna question both of them.  Let me tell you something, if I find out that Spike or Chris were involved in my mother's shooting, it's going to get real ugly, real fast.

Fancy:  Where are you going?

Luis: To talk to Spike.

Fancy: I'll come, too.

Luis: No, no, you're going to stay here, ok?  It's way too dangerous.  Just hold down the fort. 

Fancy:  Sorry, Luis, a good cop always sticks close to her partner.  And if I play my cards right, you'll be my partner forever.

Spike:  Well here she comes.  Man, I cannot wait to tell Sheridan your whole story.  She's gonna be tickled to find out that you're just like all the other men that her dear daddy hired to make her life miserable.

Chris: You can't do it.  You will ruin her life.

Sheridan: Chris? 

Spike: But you know what's really gonna hurt? When she hears about what happened in Chicago. 

Chris:  You can't do that.  I will lose Sheridan forever. 

Spike:  I'm really good at telling stories, you know that?

Chris:  It'll destroy her. 

Spike: Once upon a time, there was this guy...

Chris: Alright, I'll do it, whatever you want.

Spike: You'll take the job at Crane Industries?

Chris:  Just swear you will not tell her the truth about me.

Spike: You're mine, buddy boy.  Forever and a day.  Don't you ever forget that.

Sheridan: Chris?

Theresa: I can't even believe I'm leaving all this on your answering machine.  Whitney, I'm just, I'm happy, you know?  I think I'm falling for Jared, I do.  Now he's working here side by side with me at Crane Industries and if I don't watch out, he's going to take over the whole company.  He's that smart, Whitney.  I think I'm over Ethan for good.  I do.  I think Jared Casey's the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. 

Fox: What is it, Kay?  What are you hiding from me?

Siren: And me.

Tabitha: Oh, you've ruined it all.  I told you, Kay, it's impossible to keep secrets in this house. 

Kay:  You did?

Tabitha: Oh, you're such a kidder.  You've caught us.  We were planning a double surprise birthday party because we found out that you two have birthdays close together.

Endora: Birthday party!

Fox: Really? Siren, when's your birthday.

Siren: When's yours?

Tabitha: Well now you've ruined it cause now we're going to have to think of something else. Oh. 

Fox: I can keep a secret.

Kay: Not if you stand here!  Hey, can you do me a favor?  There's a box on the table in the kitchen.  Can you get it for me? 

Fox: Yeah, sure.  It's the middle of August.  Why do you have a fire burning?

Tabitha:  Oh, it's a--a--an old recipe.  Palinta, northern Italian style.  It has to be cooked over an open fire. 

Fox: Sounds pretty good.

Kay: Can you get the box, please? Thank you, and then I have a few chores for you to do. 

Fox: Sure thing. 

Siren: Don't be too long. Now what are you two up to? 

Tabitha:  Whatever do you mean?

Siren: What are you hiding?  I know what these are for.  I threw that spell book in the ocean. 

Kay:  Hmm.  You're no match for Endora.  She brought it back.

Siren: Endora, shame.  You think you're so smart?  You'll never be able to cast that spell to break the curse on Fox anyway.  First of all, I have to have my tail, and look at that--legs.  Besides, all I have to do is sing my song and Fox'll follow me right out of here.  He has to be here, too. for that to work. 

Kay: Darn it.

Tabitha: Our plan spoiled, Kay.  Don't let Siren go into the sunroom, though. 

Kay: Tabitha!

Siren: Amateurs.  What do you have in there?  What are you hiding?

Kay: You're doomed, fish slut.

Siren: Ah!  No!

Kay: What're you gonna do, huh?  Call Fox for help?

Tabitha: Oh, no.  He'll see your tail and the jig will be up.

Siren:  You just wait til I dry off.  Ah! 

Fox: Who's screaming?

Kay: Oh, it was just me, honey.  Thought I saw a rat.

Fox:  Oh, let's get it exterminated.

Tabitha: Yeah, well, we're working on it.

Kay: Get ready to say adios, Siren.  It's magic time! 

Fox: Kay, what is this strange little costume for?

Kay: You'll see.  Hey, would you poke up the fire for me, please?

Fox: Yeah.  Hey, where did Siren go?

Kay: Uh, she forgot something.  She just ran out of here. 

Tabitha: With her tail between her legs 

Siren's voice: Those idiots will never be able to cast that spell. 

Kay:  I hope we can pull this off.

Tabitha: We have to, otherwise, Fox's romantic career is over. 

Kay: Oh, God.

Theresa: Oh, Whitney, I think I'm about to use up all the space on your voicemail.  I've gotta go.  I just wanted to say that you were right.  I should have listened to you in the first place.  Jared is a very special guy.  Thanks, bye-bye.

Ethan: Busy?

Theresa: Ethan.  What can I do for you? Did we have a meeting scheduled?

Ethan: No, no meeting scheduled but we have something urgent we need to talk about.

Theresa: And what would that be?

Ethan: Julian's request for partial custody.

Theresa: Ethan, little Ethan is my son.  After all these years he can't just barge into his life.

Ethan: Theresa, he's boy's father and he's got rights. 

Theresa: Julian may be little Ethan's biological father but he's got all the paternal instincts of a lobster.  It's a little late for him to change his mind.

Ethan:  Theresa--

Theresa:  You know what appalls me, Ethan, is how you've decided to take this case.  How can you take Julian's side over mine?  Ethan Winthrop teaming up with Julian Crane?   Against me, Ethan, that is insane.

Ethan: Wow!  You're one to talk, Theresa.  How about the people that you've been teaming up with lately? You'll do anything you want without the regard for the important people in your life.

Theresa:  What are you talking about?  Who am I teaming up with that upsets you so much?

Chris: I'm so sorry, Sheridan.

Sheridan: Sorry about what?  Are you feeling alright?

Chris:  I love you, Sheridan.

Sheridan: So you've told me.

Chris: No, but no matter what, I want you to know that I love you.

Sheridan: I love you, too.  What's wrong?

Chris: Nothing.  I have a little bit of a headache.

Sheridan. Oh.  Well, you poor thing.  I might have some Ibuprofen in my purse.  Let me check. 

Chris: It never ends.  Now I have to take that job at Crane and embezzle funds for Spike.  I made another deal with the devil.  You deal with the devil, you always get burned.

Spike:  Man, what a mess.  But soon, with a little bit of luck, I'll have lots of Crane cash.  Thanks, my boy, Chris.  Yeah, I'll reopen this club. Soon I'll be selling drugs up and down the east coast.  The power works.  What the hell!  What are you doing, man?

Luis: You're going down, sleazeball.  I'm going to get some answers.  You're going to tell me who the hell let you into the mansion.  If you don't tell me, you're not going to make it out of this rat hole alive, you hear me? 

Spike:  Yes.

Theresa: Come on. Ethan, really, I know that look. Who am I teaming up with that you disapprove of so much?

Ethan: Look, forget about it, all right? Today I'm here on behalf of my client, Julian Crane.

Theresa: Well I don't have anything to say, except no.

Ethan: Theresa, you cannot ignore his request for partial custody. No matter what the circumstances, he has parental rights.

Theresa: Well, not if the courts take them away. And you know all about that, now don't you, Ethan? I mean, that is how you and Gwen stole my daughter from me.

Ethan: Let's stick to the subject, if you don't mind, ok? Julian is not asking for the moon here, Theresa. He is asking for partial custody. And it's not going to change a thing. You both live in the mansion, for God's sake.

Theresa: Really -- really, Ethan? Ok. So if Julian got partial custody of little Ethan, that would mean that he would be able to take my son anywhere he wants to, anywhere, whenever he wants --

Ethan: Listen.

Theresa: For six months out of the year. And he's already threatened to take him to Europe.

Ethan: We can make an arrangement that suits both of you. And by the way, if you share custody, he can't take little Ethan anywhere, Europe or anywhere else without your permission.

Theresa: And since when does Julian obey the law?

Ethan: Would you be rationale?  Julian Crane is little Ethan's biological father. 

Theresa's voice: No, Ethan, you are. 

Ethan: A boy deserves to have his father in his life, and you have kept Julian at arm's length since little Ethan was born.

Theresa: That is not true. He can see him whenever he wants.

Ethan: In theory, yes, Theresa, but we both know you've made it difficult for him.

Theresa: Because my son needs a real father.

Ethan: Your son needs a good role model, Theresa.

Theresa: That's right, Ethan, he does.  That's not Julian.  Never. Not in a million years.

Sheridan:  Has the Ibuprofen kicked in yet?

Chris:  A little, yeah, I feel much better. 

Sheridan:  Good.  You see that?  I'm going to buy a media player to help me with my new job at Crane.  I can download videos of all the fashion shows and it's small enough to fit in my purse. 

Chris:  That's great.

Sheridan:  You know, you really impressed Gwen earlier. 

Chris: How's that?

Sheridan:  Well, I told her that I offered to use my clout at Crane to get you a job in accounting but you refused.  She said that proved you're a strong man with a strong character. 

Chris: She's a little old-fashioned, don't you think?

Sheridan:  Why would you say that?

Chris:  What, in this day and age?  A guy can use all the help he can get.  Sheridan, I changed my mind.  I would like you to help me get a job at Crane Industries. 

Spike:  You're out of your mind, Luis.  Look, I don't know what you're talking about.  I'm an innocent man.

Luis: Sure you are. 

Fancy: Luis, what are you doing?  Stop it!

Luis: What the hell are you doing here?

Fancy: Let him go.

Luis: You followed me here?

Fancy: Yes, you were so angry when you left.  I was worried.

Luis:  I don't need a babysitter, ok?

Fancy:  Maybe not, but Spike might need a bodyguard.  What are you doing?  You could be brought up on charges.

Luis: I know exactly what I'm doing, ok?  I'm just trying to bait him into a confession.  Perfectly legal. 

Fancy:  If you say so.  What should I do?

Luis: Uh, leave.

Fancy: No. 

Luis: Alright, fine.  You follow my lead.

Spike: Ok, keep your hands off, Luis.  I did not break into the Crane mansion. 

Luis: Sure you didn't.

Spike: I didn't, I swear.  I had nothing to do with your mom getting shot, man. 

Luis:  Seems like there are a few too many coincidences, Spike. 

Spike:  Like what?

Luis: You really screwed up this time, didn't ya?  See the truth is, I already know who you're working with.  In fact, they're talking right now. 

Spike: Well, who's ratting me out, man?  Who's ratting me out?

Luis:  Come on, Fancy, let's get out of this pit.

Spike: Hey, wait a minute.  Tell me who is the liar that says I'm working with them. 

Fancy:  I can't wait to see you in a lineup.

Spike:  Ok!  Alright, I'll talk, alright?  I'll tell you whatever you want to know. 

Kay: Hurry, Fox will be back any second.

Tabitha: Oh, this spell is absurd. So many steps. Check off the jellied hermit crab.

Kay: Ooh. Ok, well, we're in good shape. Siren has her tail, she's all tied up. Now we just got to get Fox in the costume.

Tabitha: Yeah, and how are you going to make him do that?

Kay: Hmm, I'll just tell him it's to help Maria's daycare center.

Tabitha: What?

Kay: Oh, just trust me, ok? All right, once he's in the costume, he has to shoot the arrow.

Tabitha: Yes, and the arrow has to hit Siren.

Kay: Trust me, sweetheart, ok? Siren won't really get hurt. We just have to do this to help Fox, ok?

Endora: No.

Siren: Ah!

Kay: Keep quiet! Oh, my God, oh, my God, she's drying off! Her tail's disappearing!

Tabitha: Oh, all hands to the pump!

Kay: Hush!

Fox: Ok, the trash has been taken out. What's next on your list, my little commander?

Kay: Um...

Fox: Oh, did you guys see that we've got a little leak going on here?

Kay: Oh, it's not a problem. The plumber's on his way.

Fox: Are you sure?

Kay: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a problem, promise.

Fox: You know, is that polenta supposed to smell like that?

Tabitha: Oh, yeah, it's an interesting smell.

Fox: You know, we can always order Chinese.

Kay: Honey, I need you to do me a little favor.

Fox: Sure.

Kay: You see this costume in the box here?

Fox: Yes.

Kay: I need you to put it on for me.

Fox: What?

Kay: It's cupid.

Fox: Yeah, I know what it is. It's a skimpy little mini-skirt and some wings. Why would I put that on?

Kay: Please, it's not for me. It's for Maria's daycare center.

Fox: What?

Kay: Yeah, we're making this holiday hunks calendar to raise money and you get to be February. Valentine's Day, February, get it?

Fox: You're out of your teeny little mind, darling.

Kay: Oh, come on! February's better than march. Poor Luis -- all he gets is this little green hat and a big shamrock.

Fox: There's no way in hell that I'm going to put that thing on.

Tabitha's Voice: Fox has to play cupid and shoot Siren with the arrow or he'll never be free of the mermaid's curse.

Luis: Go ahead, Spike, just spit it out. Who let you into the Crane mansion?

Spike: Hey, I just -- I just don't know how I got myself into this -- this mess.

Luis: It's all right, man. We'll get you a good lawyer.

Spike: Thank you. Thank you, Officer Luis. Thank you, you sucker! Come on, man. What a lame story. "Hey, Spike, we got your accomplice, so you got to talk." Come on, man, what a clown you are. Come on.

Luis: You're going down, Spike.

Fancy: No, don't let him get to you, Luis.

Spike: Hey, ooh, am I going down? Hey, man, you don't scare me, buddy, ok?

Luis: I already know you're a murderer.

Spike: Really?

Luis: Mm-hmm.

Spike: Really? Why don't you prove it? Because I think if you had anything on me, you would've arrested me a long time ago, right? Oh, and by the way, I almost forgot. How's that sweet mom of yours doing in the hospital anyway, huh?

Luis: You --

Fancy: No, Luis, don't! Stop it!

Theresa: No matter what you say, I will never give Julian partial custody of little Ethan.

Ethan: Don't think about it as giving something away. Why don't you think about it as adding little Ethan's father to his life?

Theresa: I wish that were possible, Ethan, I do. I would give anything for my son to have a real relationship with his father, for us all to be a family.

Ethan: With Julian?

Theresa: You -- you would never understand.

Ethan: You're right, I would never understand. And I don't understand. If you want little Ethan to have a real family, Theresa, then give him partial custody.

Theresa: No, Ethan, no. He's unpredictable, ok? You know what Julian's like. Look, let's just say that my son amuses him for a while. And then what? What if he gets bored? He'll drop him, Ethan. He will drop him in a second and he will hurt him.  Or what if he turns into the old Julian again?

Ethan: That's not going to happen. 

Theresa:  You don't know that, ok?  He's been a selfish bastard all of his life.  A few years of atonement don't make up for all his decades of self-gratification.  He will backslide, Ethan.  I know he will, and he will break my son's heart.  But you won't do that, right? Because you promised me that you will always be in my son's life.

Ethan: Of course.  I promised that and I will always be in his life.  I just don't understand why you're so worried about Julian. It's the other men in your life, Theresa, that you need to be careful of.

Theresa: What?

Ethan: Come on, Theresa, you know what happens to kids that have single parents.  Mommy's boyfriends, they drift in and out, and the child has no real sense of belonging to anyone. 

Theresa:  Hmm.  You're talking about Jared, right?  Well, that's a stretch, I think, right?  That Jared would end up breaking my son's heart?

Ethan: Your son's heart? How about your heart? I don't think Jared is good for you or little Ethan and I think you need to get rid of that guy right now..

Fox: Forget about it, Kay. There's no way I'm going to prance around in this thing. And it doesn't even look like cupid. Maybe if cupid was an entry in the gay parade.

Kay: Please?

Tabitha: Well, at least you get a costume. When the firemen put out a calendar, they only wore their hats.

Fox: No, no way. There's no way that I want pictures of me in this thing all around town. It would be on the Internet in like two minutes.

Kay: Ok, how about this? We'll take a picture of you, and then we'll just PhotoShop somebody else's head on it.

Fox: Then why don't you just shoot someone else altogether?

Kay: Because we don't have a lot of time. We're on a deadline here. Ok, I have an idea. You know that guy that hit your car and blamed you for it?

Fox: That jerk on Mariposa Street?

Kay: Yeah, his daughter is in Maria's daycare class. We'll put his head on it.

Fox: That would serve him right.

Kay: So you'll do it?

Tabitha: Come on, come on.

Fox: You'll throw away the originals?

Tabitha: Time's a wasting. Come on.

Kay: He'll do it!

Fox: The things I do for you.

Tabitha: Put it on, put it on, get the costume on.

Fox: Oh, my God.

Kay: And then we'll take the picture.

Fox: Ok, all right.

Tabitha: Now it's time to get that special ingredient.

Kay: I've been looking forward to this.

Kay: Knock it off.

Kay: What? I can't hear you. What did? What did you say? Oh, we need something else for the spell.  What's that they say in the dentist's office? Yeah, "it might hurt a little."  Oh, did that hurt you?  Get ready to say bye-bye you stinky fish.

Chris: I'm embarrassed to ask you for your help to get a job at Crane.

Sheridan: Oh, Chris --

Chris: But I do think it's going to be for the best, for you, me, and James. We'll both be working in the building. James will be downstairs in daycare. We can see him whenever we want. Now, what do you say?

Sheridan: I suppose.

Chris: You hate the idea?

Sheridan: No, I'm just concerned with how it looks. If people know I got you the job, you'll be resented by your co-workers. Gwen said the same thing.

Chris: But you offered to help first, you know?

Sheridan: I know, I know, but is it the right thing to do?

Chris: Well, we don't have to decide right now.

Sheridan: Let me think.

Fancy: Stop it, Luis!

Spike: Ok, you like this, huh?

Spike: Oh ho ho, quick one, aren't you?

Spike: Oh, I think you cracked a rib.

Luis: Good.

Fancy: No, stop it, Luis, right now! I don't remember this lesson in the training course.

Luis: You have a lot to learn, cadet.

Spike: Hey, I want to thank you, pig, because this is police brutality. And you're going to be thrown off the force.

Luis: Yeah, right.

Spike: Yeah?

Luis: Yeah.

Spike: I got a witness. I got a witness. Ain't that right, baby, huh? She's my witness.

Fancy: What's happened? It's all going dark.

Spike: What?

Fancy: Hysterical blindness. Oh, damn, I didn't see a thing.

Spike: Oh, great, another liar.

Fancy: Oh, no, wait, wait, wait. It's a miracle. I can see again.

Spike: Oh, great. Two dirty cops, huh? Ok, huh, how are you going to explain this?

Fancy: Oh, let's see, Spike. I guess you got drunk and slipped on the scotch you spilled. Maybe you should think about AA.

Luis: Great.

Spike: Damn you, both of you.

Luis: Shut up. I'll be back, Spike.

Spike: Yeah?

Luis: Yeah. Because I'm not going to rest till you're behind bars for life.

Spike: Hey, blondie, you know, too bad your grandfather didn't throw you to the lions when he had a chance.

Luis: Lions? How did you know about the lions in Rome? What else do you know about Alistair Crane?

Theresa: Why do you want me to get rid of Jared? What do you have against him?

Ethan: Theresa, think about it. You're rich, you're a single mother. You have to be careful about the men that you date.

Theresa: Excuse me?

Ethan: Theresa, think about it. Come on, you're bringing a total stranger into little Ethan's life. That's not good for him. It's not good for you.

Theresa: Well, what do you know that I don't know about him? Do you have some kind of proof that he's not on the up and up, Ethan?

Ethan: Well, I --

Theresa: Because as far as I'm concerned, he's been a perfect gentleman, all right? He's kind, he's decent, he has a law degree, he has an MBA. Do you have some kind of proof that he's this bad person? Because if you do, I need that proof right now.

Ethan: All right, I don't have any proof, Theresa. But that doesn't mean he's not hiding something. There is something about him that's not right. I don't know what it is. I can't prove it, but I feel it.

Theresa: I know what the problem is. It's not that Jared is not the right guy for me. It's the fact that I feel so right in his arms, you can't stand it.

Kay: Ready or not, here it comes. Oh!

Tabitha: Yes, in deedy, hell's a-poppin'.

Kay: Is this good?

Tabitha: Oh, no, dear, no. It's bad, the very best kind of bad. When Fox hits Siren with that arrow, the first step of our spell is complete.

Kay: Ok, we have to get her ready for the arrow. Endora, will you do the honors?

Endora: No.

Kay: I promise you, we won't hurt her. Much.

Kay: Perfect.

Kay: You know what this is? It's a target, and your fanny's the bull's-eye. Whoa, whoa, don't give yourself a heart attack, honey. It'll all be over soon, once Fox shoots you.

Fox: Kay, I've changed my mind.

Kay: Oh, no, you don't. No, no, no. Come out here. Let us see you.

Fox: No.

Kay: Oh, come on. It's for Maria's daycare center.

Fox: I look ridiculous.

Kay: Oh, you'll be in good company. There are going to be 12 guys in that calendar that are going to look ridiculous. You won't even see your face in the picture. You don't even have to smile.

Fox: I'm going to get you for this.

Kay: Come out here. Let us see you.

Tabitha: Adorable. I like the wings the best.

Fox: Ok, that's it. I'm out of here.

Kay: No, no, stop. Ok, get right over here and pose. Ok, now just -- all you have to do is shoot the arrow in the target.

Fox: You're lucky there's a target, otherwise I could shoot you right now.

Kay: Oh, can you stand on one foot, like cupid?

Fox: One foot? Are you serious, one foot?

Kay: Please.

Kay: Ok, ready, aim -- fire!

Fox: Camera -- where's the camera, Kay?

Kay: The what?

Fox: The camera. You're doing a shoot for a calendar. Do you have a camera?

Tabitha: Oops.

Chris: Sheridan, help me get the job. Please? I think it'll be good for all three of us. We can take James to daycare together, see him at lunch, pick him up after work together.

Sheridan: Well, that does make sense.

Chris: I mean, you're right. People might resent me at the beginning, but I can get past that pretty quickly. I mean, people usually like me wherever I work.

Sheridan: Well, you are a fairly nice guy. That might be one of the reasons why I married you.

Chris: So you'll help me get the job?

Sheridan: Of course.

Chris: You don't know what this will mean for us.

Sheridan: I'm happy to do something for you for a change.

Luis: What else do you know about Alistair? Come on.

Spike: Nothing.

Luis: You're lying.

Spike: Look, I did a little work for the guy, all right? He never confided nothing in me. I mean, he was one bad dude.

Luis: If I find out that you're withholding something from me --

Spike: Like what?

Luis: I got evidence. I got plenty of it. And you're going to be rotting in a jail cell soon enough. Yeah.

Spike: You ain't got nothing on me! "Yeah, yeah, he slipped on a bottle of scotch." Right. Ow, oh! Damn you, Luis!

Ethan: All I want for you is happiness. I just don't think you or little Ethan are going to find that with Jared.

Theresa: Well, you know what? Before you came in here, I was on cloud nine because of Jared. He's a wonderful guy, Ethan. I never thought that any man but you could make me happy, but, you what?  He does. 

Ethan: I don't trust him. I think he's bad news.

Theresa: You should listen to yourself, Ethan, really. I mean, you have been telling me for years, "Theresa, you've got to move on. You need to find another man." And now that I have, you can't stand it.

Ethan: He's not the right guy for you, ok?

Theresa:  Then who is the right guy, Ethan?  Then who is?  Why don't you tell me? You know what I think.  I think that this isn't about Jared.  It's the fact that he's not you.  There will never be a guy for me you approve of, will there, Ethan? So what do you want me to do? You want me to just end up alone pining for you? Is that what you want?

Fox: Kay, please tell me you don't have me out here half-naked in angel's wings, and you don't have a camera

Kay: I -- I mean --

Fox: Oh, Kay.

Kay: Oh, there it is. I was so turned on by your legs, I forgot all about it.

Fox: Ok, let's get on with it, shall we?

Tabitha: Yes, one good shot right into the bull's-eye.

Kay: Ooh, nice try.

Fox: Sorry, Kay.

Tabitha: He's no Geena Davis, is he?

Fox: All right, here we go. Target on.

Kay: Fox, come on.

Fox: Sorry, I skipped archery at the boarding school. I've never done this before.

Tabitha: Yes, but -- well, just try again, dear, try again. Siren's losing her tail, she needs more water.

Siren's voice:  Feet, don't fail me now.

Fancy: Stop it.  Your temper doesn't help matters.

Luis: I know! It just feels good, all right?

Fancy: It's ok I followed you, isn't it? 

Luis:  It's a good thing you did.  I would have killed Spike otherwise.  That bastard.  I'm telling you, I know he is as guilty as sin.

Fancy: Yeah, I get that feeling, too.

Luis:  You do?  What are you feeling, [inaudible]?

Fancy: Yes, that's it exactly.

Luis:  Huh, maybe you got cop's instincts after all.

Fancy: Really? Well, I hope so. Say we're right, and Spike is guilty -- how do we prove it?

Luis: We'll find a way. I'm going to make Spike pay and whoever his accomplice is. They're both going to pay for what they did to my mother.

Sheridan: This is exciting. We'll both be working at Crane. Which department do you prefer?

Chris: Accounting. I mean, like we discussed, I have experience in it.

Sheridan: All right. Done. I'm going to go buy my media player, and then we'll get your resume. Oh, and you can wear your new suit to your interview with Theresa.

Spike: Luis.

Spike: Yeah, what?

Chris: It's Chris.

Spike: You taking care of what I told you to do?

Chris: Yes. She's helping me get a job at Crane in accounting.

Spike: Great. The sooner, the better. Listen, we're going to have to move up this whole timetable. Luis is all over me. As soon as you get your office, we're going to start.

Chris: I'm sorry, Sheridan. You can't ever learn the truth about me, because I can't lose you.

Ethan: I don't want you to be alone.

Theresa: Well, it doesn't seem that way. Because you don't even know Jared and you're judging him. So if he's not the right guy for me, then why don't you tell me who is? Because there's got to be somebody else out there, right?

Ethan: I don't know what to say.

Theresa: Well, that's a switch. I want to be happy, Ethan. And we have established that it's never going to be with you. Is that correct?

Ethan: Yeah.

Theresa: Then you let me go. You let me live my life on my own terms. You chose duty and Gwen, and that's all very fine and noble, and I suppose that I get that now. But if I'm out of your life that way, then I've got to be out of your life all the way. You let me make my own mistakes, Ethan. You let me figure out who the right --

On the Next Passions:

Tabitha: Let's hope we can pull this off.

Kay: Oh, we have to. We're Fox's only hope.

Jared: Ethan's yesterday's news, man. I'm Theresa's future.

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