Passions Transcript Wednesday 8/9/06--Canada; Thursday 8/10/06--USA
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Provided By Glynis
Proofread by Jodi
Kay: Mm. Good morning.
Tabitha: Oh, such sarcasm in one so young.
Kay: No, really, it's a good morning.
Tabitha: Yeah, well, give it a while. Something terrible will happen.
Kay: Eh, not today. The Siren situation is under control.
Tabitha: If you've gutted that guppy, I hope you cleaned up the mess.
Kay: Ok, it didn't go that far, but Miss Finland won't be coming on to Fox any time soon.
Tabitha: Oh, Fox is back to normal?
Kay: Almost. He had to go into work early today, so I got up and made him some breakfast.
Tabitha: What about last night? Were you able to get Fox to rise and shine for you, even after Siren's song seduced him?
Kay: No. No, he was, like, in a fog until he fell asleep, so we didn't make love. But tonight -- tonight's going to be a different story. You might want to get some earplugs for Endora.
Tabitha: I wouldn't get your hopes up for Fox getting aroused with you, Kay. Remember what I told you about the mermaid's curse? Once a man makes love to a mermaid, he can never make love to a mortal woman again.
Kay: You know what? I refuse to accept that, ok, because the love Fox and I share is stronger than any stupid curse.
Tabitha: Well, there is a first time for everything, I guess.
Kay: Uh, thanks a lot.
Tabitha: I'm sorry, Kay, but just because you took care of Siren doesn't mean that Fox is free of her curse. By the way, what did you do with that tarty tuna?
Kay: I wrapped her in duct tape and I threw her in the trash.
Tabitha: But the garbage man won't take her, Kay. There's some silly law against dumping bodies in landfills.
Kay: Well then we're going to have to find a more permanent solution, ok, like sending her back to the ocean so she cannot seduce Fox or Miguel again.
Siren: Kay was so mean to wrap me in duct tape so I couldn't move or speak. Throwing me in the trash was downright hateful. If those raccoons hadn't eaten through it to try to eat me, I'd be on my way to the landfill by now. Well, I'll show Kay. She's already lost Fox to me and now I'll make it so Miguel can never make love to Kay again either. I'll sing my song, make love to Miguel, and he will be mine forever. Just like Fox. And Kay will have no one.
Theresa: All right, so were you able to find someone who can help me do all this work?
Valerie: I have several interviews set up for this morning.
Theresa: Only the best of the best, I hope?
Valerie: I narrowed down the applicants to just three and I'll let you know who the final candidates are.
Theresa: Great, thanks, Valerie.
Valerie: Good morning, Whitney.
Whitney: Yes, it is. Chad and I have never been happier.
Valerie: That's what Chad said. Good for you, Whitney. And for Miles. You know, I always felt really bad when he thought I was his mother.
Whitney: Oh, what a lovely woman. Next time I bring breakfast for the two of us, I'll make sure to bring some cat food for Valerie.
Theresa: Mm-hmm. Well, she has always been proprietary when it comes to Chad.
Whitney: Yeah, well, Valerie needs a life.
Whitney: Speaking of which, how did things go with you and Jared?
Theresa: Um, pretty good.
Theresa: We ended up going to my mother's house last night.
Whitney: Doing what?
Theresa: Just doing salsa.
Whitney: Ooh, muy caliente.
Theresa: We have, you know, a really good time together. Well, except for the fact that I accidentally whacked him over the head with a vase.
Theresa: Yeah, I thought he was this prowler and there was this vase handy, so I just, boom, I cracked him over the head with it. Yeah.
Whitney: Well, you know what? Now I know for sure that Jared is a keeper.
Theresa: Now, why would you say that?
Whitney: Well, when you first met Ethan, you nearly killed him, too.
Theresa: Oh, when I doused him with that paint?
Whitney: Followed by the barbecue sauce and the fish guts. Ugh.
Theresa: Yeah, well since I've met Jared, I have scalded him with hot tea, I've kicked his butt at baseball.
Whitney: That's right.
Theresa: And I nearly cracked his skull with a vase. So, yeah, maybe this is a sign. Maybe I am supposed to date him.
Fancy: He could be the one.
Sheridan: Ok, Fancy. If you want to date Luis and he's of the same mind, you don't need my blessing, but you have it.
Fancy: Oh, Aunt Sheridan, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Chris Sheridan, here you are. I woke up in bed and you weren't beside me.
Sheridan: I couldn't sleep.
Chris Why? What's bothering you?
Sheridan: Nothing in particular.
Chris Sheridan, I know that something's upsetting you. What is it? What's going on?
Sam: Luis, you're in early this morning. The recruitment class doesn't start for a while yet.
Luis: Yeah, I couldn't sleep. You're not going to believe this, Sam. Fancy Crane broke in here last night, and then she left the door open. That gun that I had -- that I was having traced? Gone.
Sam: You mean the gun from last night?
Luis: Yeah, the gun from last night. Someone stole it. Now, whoever it was that shot Chris Boothe is probably going to go free.
Sam: You should've reported the shooting.
Luis: Sam, I told you, I wasn't going to report it to protect Sheridan. She's been through enough already -- losing Marty, her own baby -- we just, we agreed the publicity would kill her. And now, thanks to Fancy, the gun is gone.
Sam: I know it's frustrating, but Fancy didn't know how careful we have to be to protect the evidence.
Luis: You got that right. Fancy would never make it as a cop.
Fancy: I can't wait to be one of Harmony's finest.
Sheridan: I am not upset as much as unsettled by everything that's happened lately.
Sheridan: You getting shot really threw me into a panic.
Chris Sheridan, I'm fine. The bullet barely grazed my leg.
Sheridan: I know, but you shouldn't have been shot and even though I doubled security, I'm still worried about what could happen. What if someone hurt James?
Chris Sheridan, calm down. I love you and James too much to let any harm come to either of you.
Sheridan: I know you mean that, but how can you keep us safe when we don't even know who's out to hurt us?
Chris Darling, we don't even know that we are in anybody's crosshairs. I surprised someone who shot me. It was a simple burglary gone bad.
Sheridan: That makes me feel a lot better.
Chris Trust me, I will do whatever is necessary to keep you and James safe.
Sheridan: All right. Well, you go back to bed and rest while I make your breakfast.
Chris I was kind of hoping that I could take you back to bed with me.
Sheridan: Only you wouldn't get much rest, then, would you?
Chris Oh, sooner or later. My guess is later.
Sheridan: That's tempting. But I have to go renew my driver's license before it expires. I was thinking I would take James with me so we could have lunch in the park afterwards. That would give you most of the day to rest.
Chris And what about after I rest?
Sheridan: Maybe you'll get lucky. Maybe Luis will, too.
Chris Excuse me?
Sheridan: I just meant maybe Luis will get lucky tracing that gun that we found. It could lead us to finding out who shot you.
Chris' voice: Spike.
Sheridan: I'll feel much better once the guilty person's behind bars, won't you?
Chris Well, what kind of man would I be if I didn't?
Paloma: Fancy, you're serious. You're really applying to be a cop?
Fancy: 10-4 that. I filled out my application last night. I'm hoping that between Luis being the new recruit officer and me being the new recruit, we'll be spending a lot of time together.
Paloma: You mean, once he calms down about the gun in his desk being stolen after you left the main door open?
Fancy: You heard?
Fancy: Luis was so angry and I felt like such an idiot.
Paloma: Oh, you just made a mistake. He can't hold it against you forever.
Fancy: Well, that's good to hear. I wouldn't want my future in law enforcement to start off on a sour note.
Luis: I still think it was totally irresponsible of Fancy to break in here and then leave the place wide-open.
Luis: You know, she might as well have taken the gun, put it outside with a sign on it that said, "Take me."
Luis: Sam, what?
Luis: Fancy, huh. Manage to close the door this time?
Fancy: You have eyes.
Sam: Good morning, Paloma.
Paloma: Chief Bennett.
Luis: So, just so everyone here knows, this is police headquarters. Not some place you just break into and then leave wide-open so thieves can steal the evidence.
Fancy: Yeah, I know that now.
Luis: Well, if you came to apologize, too late.
Paloma: Luis, be nice.
Fancy: No, no, Paloma. It's ok. I wouldn't want him to strain himself.
Luis: Excuse me?
Fancy: Yeah, I was going to apologize, but you can forget about it now. I won't say I'm sorry for making an innocent mistake until you say you're sorry for being a jerk.
Luis: I'm a jerk?
Fancy: Hmm. There, that wasn't so hard, was it?
Luis: I wasn't apologizing.
Fancy: Well, maybe you should.
Luis: Maybe you should.
Fancy: You act like I came in here and left the door open on purpose and invited whoever came in and then gave him their gun back.
Luis: Maybe you did.
Fancy: I resent that.
Luis: And I resent you costing me my perp.
Fancy: I told you I didn't mean to. So why don't you stop being so pigheaded and accept my apology?
Luis: Why don't you stop insisting that I give you one?
Sam: You know, I haven't seen anyone go at it like this with Luis since Sheridan.
Paloma's voice: Maybe Luis and Fancy are meant for each other after all.
Theresa: Jared is nice. He's funny.
Theresa: Kind of sexy.
Whitney: Exactly. So relax and just have fun with the guy.
Theresa: Ok, ok --
Whitney: And who knows what's going to happen next, ok? Just chill.
Theresa: Ok, I'm listening, I'm listening. I'm chilling.
Theresa: Just one little problem. Just a, you know, minor little detail that just could nix any chance that we have of ever becoming a couple.
Whitney: Ok, well, what is it?
Theresa: He hates me.
Whitney: Theresa, honey, why does Jared hate you?
Theresa: No. No, he really thinks I'm dirt.
Theresa: Last night, when we were out, he saw the limo, you know. He didn't know it was mine. But that set him off on this tirade against the Crane. Mrs. Crane, in particular. He said, "she is a sweet young thing that married an old man for his loot."
Whitney: Well, that's what the tabloids made you out to be, honey.
Theresa: And he believes every word. He has no idea that I'm Mrs. Crane, the woman that he hates. He thinks I'm a struggling single mother who works for a whip-snapping bitch.
Whitney: Ok. So why exactly haven't you told him the truth?
Theresa: Because it's heaven being with someone who doesn't know that I'm Mrs. Crane. You know, when Jared spends time with me, I know it's because he likes me, not because he wants something from me.
Whitney: Chad felt the same way after he found out that he was Crane.
Theresa: It's hard to find people that you can trust, you know? And that's why I value my friends so much, because I know that they spend time with me for me, not because I'm Mrs. Crane, and I feel like if I tell Jared the truth, he will either be intimidated by me or he'll end up using me.
Whitney: You don't know that.
Theresa: I just don't want to mess things up.
Whitney: Look, I get it. I get what you're saying. And you deserve to have fun for a change. But come on now, you know better than anyone else that the truth is going to come out sooner or later. Jared is bound to find out who you really are.
Valerie: Allen, would you send in the next applicant, please? Thanks.
Valerie: I hope this next candidate is as good as their resume. Theresa needs a take-charge person to be her right hand. If she hadn't chased off Ethan, I wouldn't be playing Theresa's personnel shopper. Oh, well, it's a living.
Valerie: Come in. Right on time. We place a high premium on punctuality here at Crane Industries. I'm Valerie Davis. I'm conducting the initial interview for the executive search. And you must be Jared.
Jared: I'm Jared Casey. It's nice to meet you, Miss Davis.
Siren: Rise and shine, big boy.
Miguel: Hey, where were you last night? I thought I told you you could sleep in my room while I slept in the attic.
Siren: I got wound up in something, crashed somewhere else. How are your ears this morning?
Miguel: Oh, they're better, thank you. Wasn't it weird how I just lost my hearing all of a sudden?
Siren: Yeah, weird.
Miguel: Yeah, earwax must have built up where I couldn't get to it.
Siren: Well, you have been swimming a lot lately.
Siren: So why don't we go back to your room? We can take the plunge now. Pick up where we left off last night?
Miguel: Siren, hey, I can't be with you right now. Look, ok, I need to go back out on the fishing boat and hope today's catch is better than yesterday's.
Siren: What difference does it make?
Miguel: Well, I get paid by how many fish I bring in. And the more I bring in, the more money I get. Therefore, I can help out with Maria.
Siren: Oh, so the more fish you catch, the better.
Siren: And the sooner you catch more than your quota, the sooner you can come home!
Miguel: That would be nice, but I'm not counting on it. I mean, it's going to take me all day to reach my quota, much less go over it.
Siren: Well, I'll send fishy thoughts your way.
Siren: I can do more than send fishy thoughts, Miguel, much more.
Kay: I have to get rid of Siren before she seduces Fox again or sets her sights on pounding the surf with Miguel.
Tabitha: It's going to take more than a roll of duct tape to stop her.
Kay: I know.
Tabitha: Why are you looking at me like that?
Kay: Because you're going to help me.
Tabitha: Oh, has your amnesia flared up again? If you remember, we've already tried to dispatch Siren and we failed miserably.
Kay: Of course I remember. That's why Endora has to be the one to send her packing 'cause she's the one who conjured her up.
Tabitha: Yeah, well, you must also remember that that is exactly what we asked Endora to do and she refused.
Kay: Well, then we'll try again.
Tabitha: It's no good, Kay. Endora likes Siren. She won't send her back.
Kay: There's got to be some way to get rid of her.
Tabitha: Well, I don't know of one.
Kay: What does that pillow say on your bed, huh? "Where there's a witch, there's a way"?
Kay: So, prove it.
Tabitha: All right, let me think.
Tabitha: Oh, there's a book up in the attic with a spell in it, guaranteed to make a mermaid swim with the fishes, if you get my drift.
Kay: Great, let's go get it. The sooner we get rid of Siren, the better. Whoo!
Kay: Ok, what's the name of the book again?
Tabitha: "The Cast-Away Collections: Spells to Purge the Unwanted."
Kay: Uh, what the hell is this?
Tabitha: Oh, Benedict Arnold left that here.
Kay: The revolutionary war traitor?
Tabitha: Yes, well, he was after I got through with him. Oh, Kay, look. Oh, my first broom in the New World. Oh, they don't make them like this anymore.
Kay: Now, focus. The book, Tab, the book. Come on.
Tabitha: Oh, yes, yes. Now, wait a minute, I saw it when I was looking for that lust potion.
Kay: Ok, so it's got to be around here somewhere. So keep looking.
Tabitha: It's no good, Kay. It's not here; that's all there is to it.
Kay: Well then, where is it?
Tabitha: One guess.
Siren: Now you'll never get rid of me, Tabitha. You or Kay.
Andy: I checked. Water's a little warm today. I doubt we're going to make that big haul.
Miguel: Damn it. Yesterday's catch was puny, too. You know, I was hoping we'd score big today. I need that money, man.
Andy: You and me both. Only we can't get the fish to swim into our nets if they move to colder water.
Siren: Cod, scrod, halibut, flounder, mackerel, more -- swim to Miguel's waiting net for him to bring ashore. Cod, scrod, halibut, flounder, mackerel, more -- swim to Miguel's waiting net for him to bring ashore.
Andy: Looks like another wasted day.
Miguel: I think we're getting something.
Andy: Oh, my God. Fish!
Miguel: Yo, it's -- it's thousands of them. They're fighting to get into the net. Come on, reel it. Ah!
Whitney: Theresa, you can't wait any longer. You have to tell Jared the truth -- that you are not a single mom. That you're really Mrs. Alistair Crane.
Theresa: I know I should, ok? When I do, there's no going back, and I'll miss having things simple between us.
Whitney: I know. I understand you like having a guy like you who doesn't know that you're one of the richest women in the world. But the thing is, now that he does like you, you can't keep something this important from him.
Theresa: I wanted to tell him, Whitney, but, you know, something stopped me.
Whitney: Ok. Well, you can call him now. Meet for lunch, you know, just bring him up to date, ok?
Theresa: And what if he dumps me?
Whitney: He's definitely going to dump you if he finds out you're Mrs. Alistair Crane from somebody else.
Valerie: I must say, your assessment of the stock exchange is both thoughtful and very insightful.
Jared: Thank you, Miss Davis.
Valerie: Oh, please, call me Valerie.
Jared: Well, thank you, Valerie.
Valerie: You know what? I think you're an excellent candidate for the position Mrs. Crane is looking to fill.
Jared: Valerie, I was hoping you'd level with me.
Jared: Well, Mrs. Crane. What's she like to work with?
Valerie: Believe it or not, she's great.
Jared: I understand if you can't be forthcoming.
Valerie: No, really, I didn't know what to expect myself when she took over for Mr. Crane, but I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. She's fair, she gives credit where credit is due, and she treats everyone from the executive staff to maintenance the same way.
Jared: She sounds almost too good to be true.
Valerie: No, she's tough, but never nasty like Mr. Crane was.
Jared: Well, the Mrs. Crane you speak of really doesn't sound like the same one I've read about.
Valerie: You can't believe everything you read in the tabloids.
Jared: Or the praise one gives their boss in order to keep their job?
Valerie: I'm being honest. She's great to work with. Actually, let me see if she can give you some face time now.
Jared: This Valerie is one heck of an actress, painting Mrs. Crane as the doting den mother to all the hardworking boys and girls. What a crock. No, she obviously didn't marry Alistair because she thought liver spots were sexy. No, she did it for money, power, and my guess is she's the same money-hungry slut that I read about in the tabloids.
Luis: Only three new recruits, and one of them is Paloma. It's not a very good start.
Sam: The new recruits are here.
Luis: I don't even want my baby sister becoming a cop.
Sam: Look, you do what you have to do. There are three other applications besides Paloma.
Luis: Three? All right, well, I've only got three -- who's the fourth person?
Sam: I have to take this.
Luis: Sam. Ok. Recruits, it seems as though I have an application missing. Who didn't turn in their application?
Paloma: I did.
Recruit: Me, too, sir.
Second recruit: I did, too, sir.
Luis: Ok. All recruits must have filled out an application. You must have your application in ASAP if you want to be in the class.
Fancy: My application's right here, sir.
Luis: Fancy, what are you doing?
Fancy: I'm applying to be a cop.
Luis: No way. No freaking way.
Theresa: Ok. Just left a message on Jared's cell phone. I told him that I want to meet him for lunch.
Whitney: Good for you. The two of you can connect again and you can tell him who you really are.
Theresa: I hope he's going to be ok with it.
Theresa: Yes, Valerie.
Valerie: I just pre-interviewed someone who is perfect for the slot you're looking to fill. If you have the time, you can see him now.
Theresa: If it means finding someone who can help me, I will make the time.
Valerie: I will bring him in.
Theresa: Thank you.
Valerie: Oh, by the way, he's qualified and gorgeous.
Theresa: Ok, well I can't hire the guy based on his looks, Valerie. Come on, this isn't like an NBC soap. I mean, I don't even care if the guy looks like Jesse Metcalfe. I need to find someone who's hardworking, who's qualified, who I can rely on, connect with.
Valerie: Trust me, he's extremely qualified and it doesn't hurt that he's easy on the eyes. Especially since you're going to be working so closely together.
Theresa: I don't believe this. You two are trying to hook me up with someone.
Whitney: Are we doing that?
Valerie: Are we?
Theresa: Ok, send him in. Hey, try not to drool over him, ok?
Jared: I should just see if Tess called me here.
Valerie: Jared, Mrs. Crane will see you now.
Chris Thank God I found these before Sheridan or Luis did.
Chris I won't lose you, Sheridan. I love you too much and you make James too happy for me to blow things now. Between this and what I've already burnt, I've taken care of everything that connects me to your father. If you ever knew about my ties to Alistair, you'd hate me forever and Luis would kill me.
Luis: This is a joke, right? Like Paris Hilton pretending to work on a farm?
Fancy: Don't compare me to Paris Hilton. She gives young, rich, and blonde a bad name.
Luis: Yeah, whatever. I'm going back to work. And just so you know, this is a police station, not the set for the next "Naked Gun" movie.
Fancy: I am serious, Luis. I'm applying to join Harmony PD Here is my application.
Luis: Oh, ok. Wow, nice and neat. I'm sorry, you've been rejected.
Fancy: For what?
Luis: For being you. I am not going to waste my time trying to train you to become a cop.
Fancy: I'm not going anywhere. I applied for the job of a police officer and you are going to give me the same consideration you're giving the other recruits.
Luis: Ok. First rule of being a recruit is that you take orders, not give them. So, see you later. Have a nice day. Don't call us, we'll call you.
Paloma: Luis, you can't do that.
Luis: Yes, I can. Now, Paloma, you stay out of this or you're going home, too.
Paloma: For what reason?
Luis: Because I already told you I don't want you doing this.
Paloma: Well, I am, and so is Fancy.
Luis: No, you're not. You see, here's the deal. I am in charge of new recruits, so if I refuse your application, you're going home.
Sam: Luis, you may want to rethink your position.
Fancy: Sam, please -- let me. Um, if you reject my application simply because you know me, that's bias grounds for a lawsuit.
Luis: Give me a break.
Fancy: And if you summarily reject two female applicants out of a field of four, I think I smell a sexual discrimination case, don't you, Paloma?
Paloma: Actually, I do.
Luis: You kidding me?
Sam: Luis, get a grip. The law is on their side.
Luis: Oh, well, that's great. Use the law to pretend that you want to enforce the law.
Fancy: That's not what we're doing.
Luis: Yes, it is.
Fancy: Is not.
Luis: Is too.
Sam: Hi, James.
Sheridan: Sam, what's going on?
Sam: Fancy and Luis are arguing and Fancy is winning.
Luis: You aren't seriously going to play this sexual discrimination card, now are you?
Fancy: Would you rather I go for sexual harassment? Remember, you watched me remove my clothes in my jail cell, with you in there with me?
Luis: That's blackmail.
Fancy: Incentive has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
Luis: You know, if I weren't in a room full of witnesses right now --
Fancy: Let's start all over, shall we? Paloma and I are here to start training to be police officers. You have no right to refuse us the chance.
Luis: See, I have every right because I am in charge and I am telling you, both of you, that there are no badges in your futures. Now go home before I arrest the both of you for loitering.
Kay: I can't -- I can't believe the book is gone. I mean, how the hell does Siren know that there was a castaway spell collection up here in the first place? I've had her bound and gagged in duct tape all night.
Tabitha: Well, she is not there now. Like Willie the Whale, she's free.
Kay: What? How did she manage that?
Tabitha: Oh, never underestimate a mermaid. They are so crafty.
Kay: Yeah, well I'm going to find her and I'm going to get that book back.
Tabitha: Oh, you're wasting your time, Kay. The book's long gone by now.
Andy: Can you believe this? We're catching fish faster than we can load them.
Miguel: Yeah, we got at least four times our quota down in the hull.
Andy: One more load and the hull will be full.
Miguel: Ah, we're going home early.
Andy: Yeah, baby! Whoo!
Miguel: Come on. Andy:
Siren: Thanks, little fishies, for helping me. Now Miguel will be home early and over the moon with the money he made. His big catch deserves a big celebration and I will give it to him all night long.
Paloma: Fancy and I aren't going anywhere.
Luis: I'll deal with you later, after this recruit gets the boot.
Fancy: Ooh, threats of physical violence. Nice, Luis, very professional.
Luis: What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be on your way home, scratching "to be a cop" off your to-do list?
Fancy: I thought I told you I will not take no for an answer. I am here to apply to be a cop, as is Paloma. So unless you have a better reason than "because I say so," we're staying to train to be cops.
Luis: Why? You're a Crane -- you can be anything that you want.
Fancy: Well, maybe I want to give back to the community.
Luis: All right, fine, join the Harmony garden club.
Fancy: I have allergies.
Luis: Of course you do. Being a cop is dangerous business.
Fancy: Yeah, with hot heads like you on the force, I'm not surprised.
Luis: I am not a hot head.
Luis: As for the uniforms, you know they're standard issue -- not the designer duds you're used to.
Fancy: Oh, come on, you really think I'm that shallow?
Luis: Don't make me answer that. The point is being a policeman is dangerous business and that's the reason that I don't want you to do it. You either, for that matter. So go on and get out of here.
Paloma: I'm not leaving either.
Sam: Luis and Fancy sure know how to get under each other's skin, don't they? Look, I better stop this before it goes on any further.
Sheridan's voice: The same way Luis and I used to go at it.
Kay: Well, Siren's gone, all right. Looks like she chewed through it.
Tabitha: Is there nothing that girl won't put in her mouth?
Kay: Gosh, so she -- she got free and stole your book. Now what are we going to do?
Tabitha: I haven't got a clue, dear.
Kay: Well, thank God Fox is at work and Miguel is on the fishing boat because I'm sure she'd try to go after them.
Tabitha: Yeah, well, if not now, she will soon.
Kay: Yeah, not if I can help it.
Kay: Endora, sweetie, we need to talk.
Tabitha: Don't push her, Kay. Endora likes Siren in spite of the barracuda's bad behavior.
Kay: Endora, please. You wouldn't send Siren packing the last time we asked you and now Fox isn't with me. So I am begging you, please, would you please send her away because she is going to cause more trouble for Miguel. Look -- and I don't want to believe in the mermaid's curse, but if it is true, Siren will ruin both Fox and Miguel's life. So I am begging you, please, please, will you please send Siren back to the ocean?
Miguel: What the -- Siren?
Siren: Sorry, I thought I'd help get you all lathered up.
Luis: You know, pulling a stunt like this isn't funny. You're making a mockery out of police recruitment.
Sam: So, I see you people are still at it.
Paloma: Luis won't let us apply to be police officers.
Fancy: Yeah, he's sexist, biased, and discriminatory.
Luis: They don't understand that being a cop is serious business, not something you just do on a whim.
Fancy: No, I told Luis it isn't a whim. I am serious about being a cop.
Paloma: I am, too.
Luis: Maybe you should just go on home. Look both ways before you cross the street.
Fancy: You see? You see the way he is?
Sam: Luis, relax. Take five, all right? Let me talk to them, all right?
Luis: Good luck.
Paloma: Is Sheridan over Luis or not?
Fancy: She said she was, and Aunt Sheridan even told me it was ok if wanted to date Luis. But I wonder if Aunt Sheridan was fooling herself.
Whitney: You know what? You'll look more like the almighty Mrs. Crane if you're in here by yourself for your interview. Why don't I just go out the back way and I'll catch up with you later, ok?
Theresa: Ok. I just hope this guy is as good as Valerie says because I need somebody, and fast.
Whitney: Ok, but as soon as you're done with that, you're going to call Jared again. I mean, leave a message about it before he finds out from somebody else, ok?
Theresa: Okay, Whitney thank you so much.
Valerie: Mrs. Crane is really looking forward to -- Ah, you know what, I have to deal with this. Why don't you go on in and I'll join you and Mrs. Crane as soon as I can.
Theresa: Come in.
Theresa: Jared. What are you doing here?
Jared: I'm interviewing for the job.
Theresa: The executive position with Mrs. Crane.
Jared: Yeah, you work here, too?
Theresa: Yeah. This is -- this is where I work.
Jared: Come here.
On the Next Passions:
Spike: I am going to rob casa Crane, and you, my friend, are going to help me.
Tabitha: You have to choose one -- Fox or Miguel.
Valerie: Jared Casey, meet Mrs. Theresa Crane.
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