Passions Transcript Wednesday 7/26/06 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Wednesday 7/26/06--Canada; Thursday 7/27/06--USA

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Provided By Glynis
Proofread by Jodi

Miguel: I'm so glad we made it just in time for the game.

Kay: I didn't know you were helping coach little Ethan's tee ball team.

Miguel: Well, Theresa suggested it.

Kay: Oh, good for her. You know, Miguel was awesome at softball growing up.

Miguel: You were, too, Kay. Don't act like you weren't good.

Kay: Mm. Meet me under the bleachers later and I'll guarantee you'll hit a home run.

Miguel: Kay, you know we can't do that. There's kids around.

Kay: Right. But at Tabitha's later, mm.

Fox: I can't believe that Kay's mind still has her living in this alternate reality, where she thinks she is engaged to him instead of me. Miguel didn't help matters much by making love to her when he should have been helping her remember what's what.

Siren: I know it's upsetting. I'm upset, too. But at least we're in this together.

Sheridan: James, you and Daddy are going to sell the lemonade and I'm going to take the money and make change, ok?

Chris: Looks like we have our first customer.

Chad: Hey, can I have a -- one lemonade please.

Chris: Coming right up.

Chad: Hey.

Sheridan: Hey.

Chad: You sure you're up for this so soon after --

Sheridan: Yeah, well, staying busy helps to keep my mind off of losing Marty and my baby.

Chad: Well, look, if there's anything I can do.

Sheridan: Just never forget how lucky you and Whitney are to have Miles.

Chad: No, I won't. Hey, thanks, buddy.

Jared: Come on up, Chad. Game starts in five.

Chad: Hey, you down for some lemonade, man?

Jared: No, I'm cool. Hi. Jared. Jared Casey.

Sheridan: Hi. I'm Sheridan. Good luck with your game today.

Jared: Oh, thanks.

Chad: We'll catch you later.

Sheridan: Ok.

Ethan: Ok, ok. Do you remember -- you remember what I told you on the way here?

Little Ethan: Yes. When I swing, make sure to keep my eye on the ball.

Ethan: Exactly.

Gwen: And Janey and I will be rooting for you.

Little Ethan: Thanks, Aunt Gwen.

Theresa: Three lemonades, please.

Whitney: Oh and can you put Miles' in a sippy cup, please?

Chris: Sure.

Theresa: Hi, Sheridan. I thought maybe you'd be, you know, at home taking it easy.

Sheridan: I just wanted to get out and spend some time with my boys.

Whitney: We are so sorry to hear about Marty and your new baby.

Sheridan: Thanks. I just want to put this whole horrible experience behind me.

Theresa: I guess that includes Luis.

Sheridan: It has to.

Theresa: I understand, I do. I've moved on, too, Sheridan.

Theresa: I -- I got to get this -- excuse me.

Chris: Here you go.

Whitney: Oh, thank you very much.

Chris: Oh, and congratulations on the good news. Glad to hear that you and Chad are not related.

Whitney: Oh, thank you very much. It is good news. Now we can get married and raise our son like a normal couple. Will you keep an eye on Miles for just two seconds?

Chris: Sure.

Whitney: Thank you.

Whitney: Running Crane Industries never stops, does it?

Theresa: Nope, that's why I've got Valerie helping me find executive help. You know, I want to spend more time with little Ethan and maybe get five minutes to myself.

Theresa: You know, I'm just thankful that Ethan's always been such a huge part in little Ethan's life. Now that we know that they're father and son, it's more important than ever. Ethan's got both our children, Whitney. Gwen's got Ethan all to herself.

Woman: It's a shame Norman Rockwell isn't around to paint that family. Aren't they just perfect?

Man: All that's missing is an American flag and an apple pie.

Theresa: You hear that? Gwen's living my fantasy. How did things go so wrong?

Sheridan: James, you have made $2.50.

James: I'm rich.

Chris: Soon you're going to have enough money to buy your own glove so that when you can play tee ball next year.

James: Mm-hmm.

Chris: You sure you are not overdoing it?

Sheridan: I need to be around people -- be around life.

Sheridan: Look, sweetie, your half brothers and their daddies are having so much fun. Only in my dreams. The reality is I've lost my baby, my son, and Luis.

Luis: Sorry I let you down, son -- you and your mother.

Luis: Oh, good. Shift's almost over. I can still make it to little Ethan's tee ball game in time.

Fancy: Ok, so after I messenger my designs to the pattern maker, I'll check in with Theresa to see how Luis is doing. Ah, Luis. Aunt Sheridan all but gave her blessing for Luis to be with someone else. I wonder if that someone could be me.

Luis: I'd work overtime, but until I leave Harmony, family comes first. This is Lopez-Fitzgerald returning to headquarters. What the -- this is Lopez-Fitzgerald -- ignore last call. I'm starting pursuit of a speeding car. What kind of an idiot does 70 in a 30-mile zone?

Fancy: Sure, Luis is pretty amazing. But I just don't see myself pursuing him.

Luis: Whoever is driving that fancy car, you'll be mine before long.

Kay: Ah, what is it about baseball uniforms that are so sexy?

Miguel: Are they really?

Kay: My mistake, it's not the uniform. It's you in the uniform.

Miguel: Behave, ok? I'm here to coach little Ethan's game. I'm not here to do another photo shoot.

Kay: All right. You know, Fox, you should help coach little Ethan, too. He's your half-brother.

Fox: Maybe next year.

Kay: What do you think, Siren? Wouldn't you like to see Fox in a sexy baseball uniform?

Siren's voice: I'd rather see Fox naked and in bed with me.

Theresa: Do you see them all together? That's the reason I can never tell Ethan that little Ethan is his son. Because Gwen will make him sue me for custody for little Ethan just like she did with Jane and I'd never see him.

Whitney: Sorry you feel like you can't just be honest with Ethan.

Theresa: Yeah, maybe it's for the best. I mean, this way little Ethan can spend time with Ethan, and my son can also be Alistair's legal heir. Little Ethan won't hear what Ethan would have if Gwen and Rebecca hadn't outed him as a Bennett to the tabloid exposing his true paternity.

Whitney: I know you still never got that hard proof from J.T. Cornell in Rome to show Ethan.

Theresa: No. I never will. So all I can do to, you know, keep my head up high around here. You know what I mean? So here we are in Harmony again. I do like the small-town feel. You know, the company of friends. The memories that we share. We're at Harmony field as adults, Whitney. And it seemed like yesterday when we were here with our parents and our siblings. Who knows? Maybe the drama is going to subside in our lives for a while, hmm?

Jared: I got it!

Whitney: Oh, Jared. Wait. No, Jared, watch out, watch out!

Chad: Whoo. That was the third out, man. Good catch, good catch.

Theresa: Ohh.

Theresa: Get off me.

Whitney: So much for drama subsiding.

James: Can I have change?

Sheridan: Oh, right. Yes. Here you go.

Chris: Hey, what's wrong?

Sheridan: I was just thinking about our baby, Marty, and Luis. We've all suffered so much pain. My first child -- our first child.

Chris: And Luis. After everything I said, you still miss him, don't you? You still miss Luis.

Luis: Damn it. Driver's not pulling over. This is Lopez-Fitzgerald still in pursuit of a silver late model foreign make, license plate C-R-G 702. Advise if car is stolen. Out.

Fancy: Oh no, not again. Hmm, bad car. Why can't you go slower?

Luis: Copy that. The car's not stolen. Ok, the driver's finally pulling over. Out.

Fancy: Ok, so I have my license. And what else do I need? Right -- why do cops always walk up so all I can see is their belt buckle? Oh, at least this one's in good shape.

Fancy: Oh, it was a miracle I could finally stop. The accelerator was stuck again and that's why I was -- Luis.

Luis: Fancy?

Fancy: Oh, thank goodness it's you and not some uptight by-the-book flatfoot who thinks he's God.

Luis: You're under arrest.

Fancy: What?

Jared: Hey, Tess. Fancy meeting you here.

Theresa: What do I look like, home plate?

Jared: Ooh, slow down there. You haven't even gotten to second yet.

Theresa: Ugh, get off! Please, quick.

Jared: Your loss.

Chad: That was an incredible play.

Jared: The catch? Or falling on top of the most beautiful woman here?

Theresa: Ugh. Next you're going to be asking me for my sign.

Jared: Ouch. It's a good thing I'm wearing a cup, huh?

Little Ethan: I want to play like that man.

Ethan: Well, buddy, that man made a pretty good catch, but he ended up knocking your mom down in the dirt. I hope she's all right.

Gwen: Honey, isn't that the man we saw Theresa with the other night?

Ethan: Yeah, I think it is.

Gwen: Huh. Talk about being swept off your feet. Looks like fate found your replacement for Theresa.

Theresa: So what is it with you anyway? Why do you have "5" on your shirt?

Kay: Mm, seeing you back in a uniform is such a turn-on. You know, I've thought of several baseball fantasies we can play out at Tabitha's later.

Fox: Hey, Miguel. Can I talk to you for a sec?

Miguel: Now?

Fox: Yeah. It's about you and the game you're playing.

Fox: You know, I've had it up to here with you.

Miguel: Look, I've been trying to get ready for little Ethan's game, ok? It's not my fault if Kay thinks this is sexy.

Fox: Try buttoning up your shirt, pal.

Miguel: Look, the situation is what it is. Kay thinks she's engaged to me and I'm dealing with it as best as I can.

Fox: By sleeping with her?

Miguel: Look, I held out as long as I could. It's not my fault. She would have gone mad.

Fox: Bull. You put her psyche at risk just so you could -- you could get some.

Miguel: Go to hell, Fox.

Fox: How much longer do I have to sit and watch the woman that I love with another man?

Sheridan: Yes, I miss Luis. I miss what could have been. But you're my husband, and I love you. And I love James and the baby that we lost. You have been so strong for me, and I love you for that. I want to be strong for you, too.

Chris: You don't have to worry about me. Just knowing that you love me and James gives me the strength of a hundred men.

Sheridan: Our marriage means the world to me. I hope you know that.

Chris: Yes, I do. And if this has all been some cruel test, then we'll pass it with flying colors together.

Sheridan: Yes, together.

Fancy: Do your duty and write me a ticket.

Luis: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say --

Fancy: Oh, are you serious?

Luis: Use it.

Fancy: You're really arresting me?

Luis: I'm taking you to jail.

Fancy: For speeding? Since when is that a jail-able offense?

Luis: Since you never paid any of your tickets, there's a warrant for your arrest.

Fancy: That's ridiculous.

Luis: You have outstanding tickets for speeding, parking violations, and making an illegal U-turn.

Fancy: Well, it's not my fault this car goes fast. It's too aerodynamic for its own good. As for the parking tickets, Harmony doesn't have valet parking on Main street, so I had no choice but to double park.

Luis: How about the U-turn?

Fancy: Bling's jewelers was having a 50% off sale and it was almost closing time.

Luis: Oh. All right, all right. Well, in that case, you're still under arrest.

Fancy: This is how you treat me after I risked life and limb to help you find --

Fancy: I'm sorry, Luis. Really, I'm sorry. It's just that whenever I got tickets before, it wasn't a problem.

Luis: Well, it's a problem now. You're under arrest and I'm taking you to jail.

Little Ethan: I saw you fall, Mommy, but that man made a great play.

Jared: Why, thank you, sir.

Theresa: This is my son, little Ethan.

Jared: Nice to meet you, Ethan. I'm Mr. Casey, but you can call me Jared.

Little Ethan: What position do you play?

Jared: Well, left field and sometimes third.

Little Ethan: I play every position.

Jared: Well, that's cool. Good luck in your game today.

Little Ethan: Maybe you and Mommy could come watch me play.

Ethan: Yeah, that'd be nice. Hey, hey, why don't you go check in with Uncle Miguel, ok?

Little Ethan: Ok.

Ethan: I'll be watching. Go on.

Jared: Little Ethan, big Ethan.

Whitney: Ethan is little Ethan's godfather.

Jared: Oh, I thought --

Theresa: You thought wrong.

Gwen: Jared, it's good to see you again.

Jared: Yeah, small world. Even smaller town. Is this your daughter?

Gwen: Yes, it is.

Theresa: No, it's not.

Gwen: Her name is Jane.

Theresa: If you want to get back to work, Gwen, I'd love to keep her.

Gwen: Won't be necessary.

Theresa: Taking the day off?

Gwen: Well, not that it's any of your business, but Collier actually gave me my walking papers.

Theresa: He did?

Gwen: Yeah, some kind of nonsense about restructuring the company. But who knows and who cares. I get to be a full-time mother again.

Ethan: No worries, I'm on the job hunt tomorrow, too.

Gwen: And we're assuming Ethan won't have the same kind of trouble he did before?

Ethan: I am right to assume that, right?

Jared: Is it me, Tess, or is there a whole lot of something going on here?

Chad: Hey, she's going to have to tell you later. We got a game to get back to. Come on.

Jared: All right. Well, it was nice running into you, Tess. I guess I'll see you around.

Theresa: Not if I can I help it.

Gwen: You make a great couple.

Theresa: Nobody asked you. Why don't you go play ball, Jared.

Jared: All right, I'll -- I'll hit you a homer.

Whitney: I happen to think you're right, Gwen. They do make a lovely couple, don't they?

Theresa: I thought he would never leave.

Gwen: Now, is that any way to treat your new boyfriend?

Theresa: Excuse me.

Gwen: She and Jared bicker like an old married couple.

Whitney: Oh, I think there's something there, all right, but Theresa -- she'll never admit it.

Gwen: Well, that is fantastic.

Ethan: Fantastic? Why would you say that?

Gwen: Because Theresa always denies the truth, so that means that she is attracted to Jared. He's attracted to her. Wouldn't it be something if they wound up together?

Ethan: Yeah. Yeah, that would be something.

Luis: You have the right to remain silent -- what are you doing?

Fancy: If I can't hear you read me my rights, then you can't arrest me. So I'm tuning you out.

Luis: Well, you just heard my question, so obviously you can hear me. You have the right to remain silent --

Fancy: Ok, wait.

Luis: What now?

Fancy: I'm thinking.

Luis: Fancy, please, can I just do my job so we can get this over with?

Fancy: What if I buy all your tickets to the policeman's ball?

Luis: You want me to add bribery to your list of charges?

Fancy: Fine. Read me my stupid rights.

Luis: Turn around, put your hands on your head, please.

Fancy: Ok, officer. Go on, do your duty and frisk me.

Fancy: What, handcuffs? You're putting me in handcuffs?

Luis: Standard procedure. Now, you have the right to remain silent.

Fancy: You've got to be kidding me.

Luis: Anything you say --

Fancy: Luis!

Luis: Can and will be used against you.

Fancy: Blah, blah, whatever. Yeah, I've heard it before. I love black...

Miguel: Good hit, Ryan, good hit! Way to go, way to go. Lucy, Lucy, make sure you run as soon as they hit the ball, ok? Ethan. Hey, you're up, slugger. Come on.

Kay: Theresa, little Ethan's up to bat.

Theresa: What?

Kay: Little Ethan's up to bat!

Theresa: Baby, hit a home run, baby! Come on, baby, come on!

Ethan: Hey, hey, slugger. Remember what I told you, all right?

Theresa: That's it, baby! Run, baby!

Miguel: Way to go, my man! Yeah! Way to go!

Kay: Miguel is such a great coach. Actually, he's great at everything.

Whitney: Hey, Theresa, Miles and I are going to go watch Chad play for a little while. You want to come?

Theresa: Oh, nice try, but I'm watching the game.

Whitney: Well, I know, but, you know, maybe you can just walk me over there. Good exercise.

Theresa: But it wouldn't do me good to see Jared, though, now, would it? Come on, I'm busy.

Whitney: Since when are you too busy for love?

Theresa: Love? Ok, I don't even like Jared.

Whitney: You know what? I don't believe you. Jared is a great catch. And you know what, he's exactly the kind of guy that you need to be with.

Theresa: Mm-hmm, right.

Whitney: Yeah, right. He likes you and doesn't even know that you're one of the most powerful women in the world.

Theresa: Well, this rich and powerful woman has a game to watch and work to do, so --

Whitney: Ok, fine. Fine, you know what? I can take a hint. I'm out.

Theresa: Me and Jared, hmm? Please.

Kay: Oh, come on. He was out.

Fox: I just wish there was a way to jog her memory so she would remember that she's engaged to me and not Miguel.

Siren: If seeing us making out at the inn didn't bring Kay around, nothing will.

Fox: Yeah, we'll just see about that. Kay.

Miguel: What are you doing, Fox?

Luis: Come on. What? What? It's this stupid lock. The damn thing needs to be replaced.

Fancy: Typical. It's like I'm being arrested by the keystone cops.

Luis: There.

Fancy: Hmm, finally.

Luis: Yeah. Just remember, Everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Fancy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you sound like a broken record.

Luis: I'm just trying to help you, you know.

Fancy: So let me go.

Luis: Well, I can't,

Luis: Got unpaid tickets which led to a warrant for your arrest.

Fancy: That's impossible. My grandfather always took care of them.

Luis: Well, I'm sorry, but your grandfather is gone now.

Fancy: And thanks to him, so is Marty.

Fancy: Oh, I'm sorry, Luis. I don't mean to keep rubbing salt in your wounds.

Luis: No, it's ok. I know you don't. You're not like that.

Fancy: No, I'm not.

Luis: Here's the thing, ok? Your unpaid tickets kept piling up and they led to a warrant for your arrest. You ignored them.

Fancy: I did not ignore them. I just assumed someone from Crane was fixing them.

Luis: Well, so what did you think about those long, skinny envelopes kept piling up?

Fancy: That was them?

Luis: Oh, my God. What, you didn't even open them?

Fancy: No. They looked so boring and official, so I just threw them away

Luis: Well, see, that's what you get for being irresponsible.

Fancy: Well, I would have been responsible if I had known I was supposed to be.

Luis: My God. Sounds like something Sheridan said when I arrested her for reckless driving.

Fancy: Wow, so this is like history repeating itself.

Luis: My God, I hope not.

Fancy: What do you mean?

Luis: What I mean is after Sheridan and I met and fell in love, there was just so much pain for everyone.

Fancy: I'm sorry, Luis.

Luis: Yeah. I'm sorry, too.

Fancy: So, do you -- do you think you'll ever get over Aunt Sheridan?

Luis: I don't think so.

Fancy: Oh.

Fancy: I can see how you and Aunt Sheridan will always love each other, but that shouldn't stop you from being open to loving other people.

Luis: Hasn't stopped Sheridan.

Fancy: You can't blame her for loving Chris any more than Aunt Sheridan could blame you for falling in love with --

Luis: All right, all right, can we not talk about this right now, please?

Fancy: Ok, I understand. Just never say never, ok?

Luis: Ok. Now, about your arrest -- why don't you call Ethan, get him down here so he can meet with the court about your warrant. You'll be out of here in no time, all right?

Fancy: He's not answering.

Luis: All right, so call Crane legal. Otherwise I'm gonna miss little Ethan's tee ball game. And if they don't answer, I'm gonna have to take you with me.

Fancy: Is that standard procedure?

Luis: No, that is not standard procedure. I'll be honest with you, I don't have another private cell, and I don't think you're gonna mix too well with the other ladies I have in lockup.

Fancy: Oh, thanks.

Luis: Don't thank me. Just get a suit down here so I'm not stuck here all day, all right?

Fancy: Ok.

Fancy: If I can't reach Crane legal, then I'd have to stay with Luis all day. Maybe even all evening.

Gwen: Honey, do you think you should be doing this so soon after?

Sheridan: Well, it's not easy, but Chris is being strong for James, so I want to be strong for Chris. How are things with you and Ethan?

Gwen: Well, they're getting better -- you know, finally. And there is a possibility that Theresa has actually given up on Ethan.

Sheridan: Oh, wouldn't that be something.

Gwen: Life without Theresa. It would certainly take some getting used to, but I am more than willing to try.

Ethan: Hey, are you ready to get back to the game?

Gwen: Sure.

Ethan: All right.

Gwen: Honey, take care of yourself all right?

Sheridan: I will.

Kay: Whoo! Way to go, Miguel! You're such a great coach! You're a natural! Whoo!

Siren: How can you jog Kay's memory without messing her mind up more than it already is?

Fox: I'm going to remind Kay of the first time I took her to a Red Sox game. There was something funny that happened. If she can remember that on her own, maybe she'll remember that she's engaged to me.

Siren: Or not.

Fox: Listen, I have to try something, all right? If Kay doesn't remember soon that she's in love with me, I'm going to lose my mind.

Jared: Mind if I watch your son's tee ball game with you?

Theresa: Is your game over?

Jared: Yeah, we won. Chad and Whitney and the baby will be over in a sec.

Theresa: Whatever.

Jared: I wanted to apologize for yelling at you last night for looking at Ethan. I didn't realize you two had a son together.

Theresa: Who -- who told you little Ethan was our son?

Jared: Well, I just figured calling Ethan "Godfather" was to protect the kid.

Theresa: Oh no, no, no. I actually named little Ethan after Ethan because at the time I was --

Jared: Hoping that he'd leave his wife for you?

Theresa: Things have changed since then.

Jared: I've been in a similar boat -- I mean, loved someone I couldn't have. Oh, I did a lot of stupid things to get her attention, a lot of stupid things.

Theresa: I -- I did use you last night. You know, I -- I wasn't trying to get to Ethan. I was kind of trying to rattle Gwen's cage, and I am -- I am really sorry about that.

Jared: Well, whatever the reason, I'm sorry I overreacted. I was interested in you, and I thought you were gaga for Ethan.

Theresa: Not anymore.

Jared: You're sure?

Theresa: Positive. My son is my top priority, you know. My son and my job.

Jared: Well, you have been working the whole time you've been here.

Theresa: It's ok, you know. It has plenty of perks.

Jared: In my opinion, any job that makes you work through your son's tee ball game isn't really worth it.

Theresa: Oh, no, no, no, it's ok. Look, I have a very demanding boss.

Jared: Probably a woman, huh?

Theresa: Now, what would make you say something like that?

Jared: Well, every female boss I had was a complete jerk, always trying to overdo it and busting everyone's chops trying to act like they're tougher than the men.

Theresa: Wow, just when I thought that you weren't the missing link.

Jared: Excuse me?

Whitney: What's wrong?

Theresa: Oh, just found out that Jared here is a sexist pig.

Luis: Someone from Crane legal on the way?

Fancy: No, they're all in a meeting.

Luis: Damn it. Little Ethan's game's got to be half over by now. If I don't leave now, I'm going to miss the whole thing.

Fancy: So take me with you like you said.

Luis: I can't.

Fancy: Why not?

Luis: Because you're my prisoner and I'd need you in handcuffs.

Fancy: I don't mind.

Luis: Oh, God, that sounds like something Rebecca would say.

Fancy: Oh, I'd rather be cuffed outside on a beautiful summer day than locked in a dreary cell.

Luis: You wouldn't be embarrassed if people saw you in cuffs?

Fancy: No, I'll -- I'll carry this sweater so no one will see my hands.

Luis: Ok, if you're all right with it, then.

Fancy: Mm-hmm.

Fancy's voice: So I'm being a little sneaky.

Luis: Let's go.

Miguel: Ok, just bring your hands together. Bring them together.

Fox: Hi, Kay.

Kay: Hey.

Kay: Whoo!

Fox: Are you enjoying the game?

Kay: Yeah, yeah, it's great. How about you and Siren?

Fox: I think she's more into sailing than this, but that's fine. I know you love baseball as much as I do.

Kay: Yeah, I can't wait until Maria grows up. She can play, Miguel's going to be her coach. It's gonna be great.

Fox: Yeah, that'll be great. You know, if little Ethan wasn't destined to take over Crane Industries, I'd say the kid would have a shot at the majors. I'd choose the Red Sox for him because that way we could all go up to Boston together and go watch the game up in the Crane sky-box.

Kay: Yeah, that'd be great.

Fox: Yeah, but we'd best all be on our best behavior.

Kay: Why?

Fox: Well, wasn't too long ago I was up there with a girl, and we were attracted to each other and --

Kay: Ok, Fox. Too much information.

Fox: No, no, it's -- it's a funny story. It's got a great ending, I promise.

Kay: Ok.

Fox: So, you know, we're up in the Crane sky-box watching the game, and we're attracted to each other, and a kiss leads to some kisses and touching. And before you know it, we -- we were making love.

Kay: In the sky-box?

Fox: Then my father walked right in, and I was so embarrassed and the girl was mortified. You -- you ever have anything like that happen to you, Kay?

Kay: Oh, my God.

Fox: What is it? What are you remembering, Kay?

Sheridan: James, you've made $28.50.

James: Wow.

Chris: I appreciate you pitching in like this, especially given what you've been through these last few days.

Sheridan: Well, we're a family now, Chris. You, James, and I are together no matter what.

Sheridan: What's Luis doing here with Fancy?

Chris: I don't know.

Gwen: Good hit, little Ethan.

Ethan: Yeah, that a boy!

Theresa: That's right, Jared is a sexist pig.

Gwen: Ooh, Theresa looks furious.

Ethan: Hmm. Looks like she and that Jared guy aren't going be an item after all, huh?

Gwen: When are you going to learn?

Ethan: What?

Gwen: Honey, when a woman gets emotional with a man, no matter what the emotion is, it means she has feelings for him, right? You know, the opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference. So if Theresa has the energy to be mad at Jared, it means they have a chance together, which means we finally have a chance to have a Theresa-free life.

Theresa: Why don't you go find the nearest pen and wallow in it?

Whitney: Ok, whoa, Theresa, are you sure you heard right? I mean, I don't think Jared is a sexist.

Jared: I think she likes me. Listen, I'm not a sexist. I wasn't talking about all female bosses, just the ones that I've had.

Theresa: Well, maybe you were a lousy employee.

Jared: No, trust me. I'm tops at everything I do.

Chad: Jared, let's go get a beer, all right?

Whitney: Yeah, good idea.

Theresa: Yeah, and try not crushing the can against your head for a change because it's really not the turn-on for a woman I'm sure you think it is.

Jared: You know, Chad, you can always tell when a woman goes without a man too long.

Theresa: Well, that man won't be you, Jared, ever.

Whitney: Wow, that was a good move. Chasing off a guy that's interested in you -- that was nice.

Theresa: So what? Look, he's a sexist.

Whitney: You were acting like a total shrew.

Theresa: You know, I don't really care, Whitney.

Whitney: You should care. I don't know if you've noticed, but Harmony isn't exactly teeming with catchable fish. Jared is a good guy, ok?

Theresa: No, look, he's a caveman, Whitney. And you know what? It's like what I told him. I have my son and my job to think about.

Whitney: And that's all you're ever going to have if you don't change your attitude. I know you don't want that. I know you don't want to spend the rest of your life alone with no one to share your life with.

On the Next Passions:

Fancy: You will find love again, Luis, probably where you least expect it.

Eve: I've decided to go back with T.C.

Julian: You're leaving me?

Theresa: I challenge you to a game of baseball.

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