Passions Transcript Tuesday 7/18/06--Canada; Wednesday 7/19/06--USA
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Proofread by Jodi
Jessica: Dad? Ivy? Anybody home?
Sam: Jessica. Hey. You're back from Rome. Oh, thank God you're all right. I was so worried about you. Get out of my house!
Spike: Aw, is that any to talk to your new son-in-law?
Sam: You have got to be kidding me.
Spike: Oh, honey, you haven't told him the good news yet. Your little girl and me got hitched.
Jessica: It's true, Dad. Spike and I got married. He's my husband.
Eve: Oh, my gosh, you're here.
Julian: Chad, how are you? Good to see you, son.
Whitney: We heard about Daddy.
Simone: How is he?
Chad: Yeah, Crane security said he looked bad, but he's getting better.
Julian: Well, actually, there's something --
Whitney: Can we just go see him, please?
Eve: Yes, but --
Whitney: Ok, let's go.
Eve: Gosh, I wanted to prepare them, let them know that he'd had a stroke before they saw him.
T.C.: My -- my girls.
Miguel: Tabitha, you have a wrench around here?
Fox: Tabitha's not here.
Siren: What's wrong?
Miguel: What's wrong is your friend here has been messing with my car. You know, for a big shot, you act like you're in sixth grade sometimes, Crane.
Fox: Well, anything I can do to stop you from going off on some sexy weekend with my girlfriend.
Miguel: Hey, it's not my idea. It's what Kay wants.
Fox: Hey, in case you forgot, Kay's got amnesia. She's not in her right mind, and there's no way I'm going to let you take advantage of that.
Miguel: And what are you gonna do? Are you gonna go against Dr. Russell's order and tell Kay everything she thinks she knows is a lie? You know, it sounds to me like you love yourself a lot more than you care about Kay.
Tabitha: What do you think you're doing up here, young lady?
Kay: I was looking for a suitcase for my little getaway with Miguel, and I have come across the weirdest things, Tabitha. Please tell me that the bones in that box are chicken bones.
Tabitha: Oh, yes, really, I must have a yard sale.
Tabitha: Kay's amnesia has made her forget that we're witches, Endora. She could blow the whistle on us if she suddenly catches on. We better get her out of here before she gets too suspicious.
Floating head: It's about time. Who are you? And you, what's your excuse for keeping me cooped up in here these last few years, hmm?
Gwen: Here you go.
Ethan: Thank you.
Gwen: Honey, I cannot wait to hold our beautiful little girl in my arms again.
Noah: You know, you're only going to make things worse for yourself if you keep on staring at them like that. Theresa, why don't you just take control of the situation, march over there, and tell Ethan that you changed your mind?
Theresa: No. No, I said I'm gonna give him up, and that's what I'm gonna do.
Noah: Even if it kills you?
Theresa: Even if it kills me.
Luis: I swore that I wouldn't leave Rome without Marty. I promised Sheridan that I would bring him home to her.
Fancy: Hey, you tried, Luis. I've never seen anyone try so hard.
Luis: And I failed. God. Never heard anyone scream like Sheridan did when I told her that Marty was dead. Never.
Fancy: Well, you'll feel better when you see her in person.
Luis: What about when she sees me? I let her down in the worst possible way. And it's over for me and Sheridan.
Doctor: Losing a child is the worst tragedy there is, but you have to stay calm now. You have to think about this baby you're carrying so this pregnancy can come to term.
Chris: Thanks for everything, Doctor.
Doctor: It's up to you now, young lady. You have to take it easy and do everything in your power not to get upset.
Chris: I'm going to do everything I can to keep her calm.
Doctor: Good. I'll check back in on you later.
Sheridan: Don't bother. I won't be here.
Sheridan: I want to go home. And if you won't sign me out, I'll leave on my own. But I am leaving. Right now.
Gwen: Oh, let me guess. You changed your mind and you've decided to come back here and try and steal Ethan again.
Theresa: Look, I told you that I've given up hope that Ethan and I are going to be together, Gwen.
Theresa: Ethan, I, um -- I just spoke to my mother on the phone and, uh, little Ethan, he's just dying to see you. Apparently, he snagged an autographed baseball at a Sox game last night and he just -- he really wants to show it to you.
Ethan: I would love to see little Ethan as soon as Gwen and I get settled in.
Theresa: Well, you know, when we get to the airport, I've got a car waiting for me. So if you don't mind, maybe, you know, the three of us could just go over there and you could see him. And then I could have the car just take you two back home to see Jane.
Gwen: Theresa, we are really, really anxious to get home --
Ethan: Uh, wait, wait. I don't see a problem with it as long as we don't stay too long. I made a commitment to stay in little Ethan's life, I'm gonna do that. Is it ok with you, as long as we don't stay too long?
Theresa: Thank you.
Gwen: I'm sorry, but I still don't trust her.
Ethan: Honey, we have got to start letting go of some of this old baggage or none of us are ever going to be able to move on.
Gwen: Does that mean that you actually believe that she's finally given up on you?
Luis: Aren't you gonna talk to Fancy?
Noah: I would if she'd let me.
Luis: Well, I'm sure she will. She's probably just upset after everything that's happened in Rome.
Noah: God, if only my little sister would have backed me up, you know?
Luis: Well, don't give up. The worst thing you can possibly do is give up on the people that you love.
Man: Will passengers please take your seats and fasten your seatbelts. We're about to begin our final descent into Harmony.
Theresa: So how is my brother?
Noah: Uh, he's hurting.
Theresa: Is that what you guys were talking about?
Noah: No, he was advising me to go and try to make things with Fancy better.
Theresa: And you still think it's a lost cause?
Noah: I think Fancy is in love with Luis.
Theresa: I just -- I just don't see Luis ever giving up on Sheridan, Noah.
Theresa's voice: Maybe Noah is right.
Sheridan: I want to go home.
Chris: You can't. Not after you almost just lost this baby.
Sheridan: But the baby's fine now and I will feel much better at home in my own bed.
Chris: We can't risk getting you upset all over again. Don't you agree, Doctor?
Doctor: Well, normally I'd reject her request out of hand, but in this case -- all right, if you promise to stay as relaxed and calm as possible.
Chris: Are you sure you're ready for this?
Sheridan: Yeah, just take me home, Chris. Take me home.
Fox: Of course I don't want to cause a setback for Kay. But you can't honestly expect me to sit back and do nothing while I watch you sail off into the sunset on some hot weekend with my fiancée.
Miguel: Which leaves us where, Fox? She wants to go and I've run out of stalls, so stop acting like a kid. Now, move out of my way so I can repair the car you tried to sabotage.
Siren: Sit. I will make you something to eat.
Fox: I'm not hungry, Siren, thank you.
Siren: But it's my specialty -- seafood stew. It will definitely give you an appetite... for me. One serving of my stew and you'll never think about Kay again.
Kay: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Tabitha: Relax, dear, it's not what it seems.
Kay: It is a head! A head without a body, floating through the air. Oh, my God.
Tabitha: No, no, no, it -- it's not at all. No, it's a -- it's a, uh, uh -- an optical illusion on video.
Floating head: Now wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Kay: That was not a video. That was real.
Tabitha: Oh, well, then, I really got my money's worth when I bought it, didn't I? You know, those magic trick companies sometimes send you the worst junk.
Kay: So you're saying it's fake?
Tabitha: Well, of course it is. You don't think I've got a real head in this trunk, do you?
Kay: That looked real.
Tabitha: Oh, Kay, everything up here is just for fun. You know, party games.
Kay: I never knew you were into magic.
Tabitha: Well, not real magic, just pretend magic.
Kay: What in the -- these things. Lust potion? What's this for?
Tabitha: Well, it is what is says it is.
Tabitha: It's for someone seeking sexual relations with someone less ardent.
Kay: Well, Miguel has been so tired lately. Maybe this could do the trick for us.
Eve: Go to your father. Don't let him see how afraid you are. Go on, be strong.
Eve: You know, T.C., I told you how Julian had Whitney and Simone found in Rome and brought them in on the Crane jet.
T.C.: Thank you, Julian.
Woman: I got your message to meet you at the hospital with Miles.
Whitney: Oh, my God. Look at you, Miles. Oh, honey, you've gotten so big. It's ok, it's ok. I missed a lot, haven't I? But that's ok. You know why, because I am going to be with you every day. I love you, honey. I'm so sorry. Oh, honey.
Simone: Uh, Whit, I think it's something you need to tell everybody.
Whitney: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I know what you're thinking, but it's ok. While Chad and I were in Rome, we found out that we're not brother and sister. We're not even half brother and sister.
Eve: But, honey, how can that be when you are both my children?
Chad: Look, I didn't want to break it to you so suddenly, but, um, the fact is, I'm not your son.
Julian: But, uh -- the tests -- they proved that you are.
Chad: They were doctored by Alistair. We found the proof in Rome.
Eve: Well, then who are your parents?
Chad: Liz is my mother and Alistair's my father.
Eve: I -- I don't know what to say.
Julian: You -- you are certain of this?
Chad: Oh, it's definite. Whitney and I aren't even cousins. It turns out Liz is your adopted sister.
Chad: Yeah, look, I don't know all the details. All I know is Whitney and I can be together now.
Julian: Why, I suppose it's possible.
Chad: It's real.
Whitney: Well, Mom, Dad, isn't that great? I can be with the man I love and we can raise our son together. Isn't that awesome?
Simone: Daddy, are you ok?
T.C.: I'm so happy.
Jessica: Please, Daddy, don't be upset.
Sam: Don't -- don't be upset? Oh. Don't be upset that you've married a drug-pushing pimp!
Spike: Easy there. You gonna let your old man talk about me like that?
Jessica: Stop it, Daddy!
Ivy: Jessica, please, you can't be serious. You can not be married to this revolting degenerate.
Spike: Ah, now, I'd lighten up there, blondie. See, if you and the con man ever get hitched, then I'm going to be your son-in-law, Mom.
Ivy: Over my dead body.
Sam: You told me that you would never see him again. You told me that you hated him for the way he degraded you. Oh, wait, I get it. He's got you back on drugs, doesn't he? You were high when this happened. You don't remember being married to him. But listen, don't you worry, ok? We're going to get it annulled. It'll be like it never happened.
Jessica: No, no, no, Daddy. I was sober and straight when Spike and I got married.
Spike: That's right.
Jessica: I married him because I love him.
Sam: You low-life punk. I swear I'm going to kill you for what you did to my daughter.
Fancy: Do you want the driver to drop you off at the hospital?
Luis: No, she left the hospital. She's back home.
Noah: What? Wait, that's a good thing, man. It means, you know, that she's feeling better, physically.
Luis: Yeah, I hope so. The news of Marty almost caused her to miscarry the baby. It's way too soon for her to deliver.
Fancy: Well, then, we'll go straight to the estate. We can drop you off at your house on the way, Noah.
Luis: You guys, come on. Can you just work things out here for me, please?
Fancy: We've done that ad nauseam, Luis.
Luis: Ok, well, maybe you need to do a little less talking and a little more listening.
Luis: Look, I'm just saying, you know, two people who love each other shouldn't be apart, ok?
Fancy: You and Sheridan are apart.
Luis: Yeah, I think that that's a little bit different. Maybe if I'd have brought Marty back to Sheridan, you know, maybe I would have a chance. But as it is, she's married to Chris and having his baby. It's over for me and Sheridan, all right?
Sam: Jess, you can't look me in the eye and tell me that you want to be married to this piece of filth.
Jessica: I can and I will.
Sam: Why did you bring him here?
Jessica: The thing is, I knew you would be upset with me.
Sam: Then why?
Jessica: Because we have no place to live. Spike lost his apartment and we don't have any money.
Ivy: And you came here to ask your father if you could stay here? You're kidding.
Jessica: He's my father, Ivy. And this is our house. It's not up to you.
Sam: You just hold on a second, all right? Because I agree with Ivy. There is no way you're staying in this house.
Ivy: Sam, wait. Come here. Ok. I think maybe it's time to use a little reverse psychology here. The fact of the matter is Jessica is married to Spike. Do you really want to put her husband in jail?
Sam: You bet I do!
Ivy: Even if it makes him a victim in her eyes? It's just going to make him more sympathetic to her. Think about it. If you are really worried about Jessica and what's going to happen to her, then you should let her stay here. Let her live here, where you can keep an eye on her and make sure he doesn't hurt her anymore.
Sam: There's no way that he is going to stay in this house, sharing her bed, creeping around this house.
Ivy: Ok, look, even if staying here is the best thing for Jessica? If you kick them out now, Sam, where are they going to go? A motel, a shelter? Please, that will drive you nuts. Wondering what he is doing with her, what he's doing to her. Sam, you know I'm right.
Sam: All right. We'll try it. You can stay in your old bedroom.
Jessica: Thank you, Daddy.
Sam: But there's going to be some rules. If you are going to stay here, there's rules.
Jessica: Sure, Spike's ok with that, right?
Spike: No problemo, Pops.
Sam: Rule number one -- you ever call me pops, dad, or chiefy ever again in this house, you're out. You got that?
Tabitha: Here, Kay, give that to me.
Kay: No, you know, maybe this could help with my love life with Miguel. I don't know what's wrong with him lately. He's --
Tabitha: I told you, none of these silly things are real. They're all just pretend, so please give it to me.
Kay: Are you sure? I mean, this looks really authentic.
Tabitha: Kay, Kay, look, there's the suitcase. Now, why don't you go and get it, and we'll all go downstairs and see if Miguel has got his car repaired now. Go on, go on, go on.
Tabitha: We're going downstairs now.
Endora: We're going?
Sam: Rule number two -- you're gonna get a job.
Spike: Say what?
Sam: Yeah. I know it's a foreign word for you. But that's usually the way decent people make a living and support their families.
Spike: Well, now, you know I got nothing against working.
Sam: And no pimping.
Spike: No sweat.
Sam: Listen up. If I find any sort of drugs here in this house, you're out.
Spike: Yeah, sure thing. I mean, trip on this -- who would have thought it, huh? Me living in the same house as the chief of police. That's a trip.
Ivy: Jessica, why don't you and Spike give us a little time to digest this on our own, ok?
Spike: Good idea, blondie, 'cause I could use a smoke.
Sam: My God, how did it come to this, Ivy? How in God's name did it come to this?
Fox: How can you remain so calm while your boyfriend's about to set off on some romantic getaway to the beach with my girlfriend?
Siren: You'll feel better once you have some of my stew.
Kay: Hey, did you get the car fixed?
Miguel: Yeah, it's ready to go.
Kay: Great, I can't wait to get out of here. Just the two of us.
Siren: You ready for a taste, Fox?
Fox: Not now, Siren, thank you.
Tabitha: Little does he know what a mermaid stew can do. It's even more potent than the lust potion in Mommy's pocket.
Tabitha: I know. I'm worried, too, sweet pea. You know, if Fox succumbs to Siren's mermaid charms, he'll be cursed for all eternity, and he'll never be able to love another woman. At least we've been able --
Endora: I'm finished. Finished.
Tabitha: Thank you. We've been able to keep Kay's mitts off Mommy's lust potion. If she knew how well that worked, she would use it on Miguel in a flash. And then she'd probably remember that we were witches. And that would not bode well, would it?
Endora: For you.
Tabitha: Thank you.
Endora: For you.
Kay: Tabitha says it's just pretend, but what if it's not?
Kay: Hey, um, I'm gonna go finish packing.
Tabitha: Oh, ok.
Miguel: Hey, I'm gonna go clean up so we can hit the road.
Fox: Hey, watch it, Miguel.
Miguel: Back off.
Noah: Thanks for the lift.
Luis: Sure thing.
Noah: Look, Fancy, I hate this.
Fancy: Luis wants to get to Sheridan.
Noah: Ok. Look, I'm not giving up on us.
Fancy: Then you're wasting your time, Noah. I will never forget that you cheated on me with Maya.
Noah: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't cheat on you. My sister Jessica saw --
Fancy: Then why didn't she say it?
Noah: I don't know.
Fancy: Well, I do. It's over, Noah.
Noah: Look, why don't we, um, why don't we just give it a few days to cool off, and I'll call you then? I love you, Fancy. I -- good luck with Sheridan, Luis.
Fancy: Mm-hmm. Goodbye.
Julian: You know, Chad, uh, I couldn't have asked for a better son.
Chad: Well, thanks, but you're not rid of me just yet. Looks like I'm your kid brother, and Sheridan's, too.
Julian: She'll be as proud and happy as I am. You're a fine young man.
Chad: Thanks. Look, do you know where I could find my mother? You think she's at the Blue Note?
Julian: Actually, she left town.
Chad: You're kidding.
Julian: No, she left Harmony a few weeks ago. Someone else is managing the club.
Chad: Why did she leave? Did something happen?
Julian: Uh, you could say that, but -- I'll fill you in, but now is not the time or place.
Eve: I want you to know that I was always thrilled and happy to think -- and proud -- to think that you were my son.
Chad: That goes both ways, you know?
Eve: I mean, not -- not that I would want to change anything. This works out much better for you and Whitney. It's just -- well, now there's gonna be a huge hole in my heart, knowing that I'm not your mother.
Chad: Me, too.
Whitney: Hey, Chad? Do you mind coming in here for one second?
Chad: Yeah. Excuse me.
Julian: Actually, you know, perhaps it's -- it's better this way. They can be together. They can get married and raise Miles together.
Eve: But you know what this means, don't you, Julian?
Julian: That our son is still out there somewhere.
Eve: Or not. Maybe he's dead. Maybe he's been dead all along.
T.C.: I want to say I'm sorry.
Whitney: Daddy, no. No, it's ok.
Chad: Yeah, we're ok, Coach.
T.C.: Sugar bear, I was so angry when you told me that you were --
Simone: That I was gay? I know.
T.C.: I'm sorry.
T.C.: Will you accept my apologies?
Simone: Of course I accept your apology, Daddy. And that's -- that's all in the past now.
T.C.: You mean that you're not --
Simone: Oh, no, I'm still a lesbian, but let's just leave all the bad things that we said to each other back there, somewhere.
Chad: I'm sorry, I meant to turn it off before I got here. I'm gonna take it outside.
Chad: What's up? No, I told you -- me marrying Whitney isn't going to change a thing for us. I'll make sure we see each other whenever we want.
Noah: Hey, Dad. Hey.
Sam: Welcome back.
Noah: Hey, Ivy. What, is something wrong?
Sam: Well, uh, where should I begin?
Spike: Well, look who's here, my favorite new bro-in-law.
Noah: Oh, you filthy son of a --
Theresa: Oh, I missed you so much.
Little Ethan: You, too, Mommy. Hey, Uncle Ethan!
Ethan: What's up, buddy? How are you? It's good to see you.
Little Ethan: I was waiting for you. Grandpa Martin took me to the Sox game last night.
Ethan: Oh yeah?
Little Ethan: They killed.
Gwen: Hey, little E, where's your grandma?
Little Ethan: She's in the kitchen. She said she'll be out in a minute.
Little Ethan: You should have been there, Uncle Ethan. It was awesome.
Ethan: I'll bet it was.
Theresa: You shouldn't be calling him "Uncle Ethan." You should be calling him "Daddy."
Chris: Let me put these things away.
Sheridan: No, no. Not yet, please.
Fancy: Aunt Sheridan, are you here?
Sheridan: Oh, dear God. It's Luis.
Luis: I had to come in person. I'm so sorry.
Sheridan: I was just going through his things.
Sheridan: Why? Why did he have to die, Luis?
T.C.: All...of my girls... with me.
Chad: I gave you my word. We'll see each other soon, I promise.
Kay: Well, have a nice weekend, everyone. I know we will.
Kay: Thanks -- thanks again for watching Maria for us. You have no idea how much this little getaway with Miguel means to me. Things haven't been too great in the romance department, if you know what I mean.
Tabitha: Yes, yes, I think I do.
Kay: Yeah, but that's all gonna change once we get to the inn at the beach. Well, have a good weekend, Siren. You, too, Fox. Let's go.
Tabitha: There's Fox worrying about Miguel making love to Kay when what he ought to be worrying about is what Siren's damn soup is going to do to him. One helping of that and she'll seduce him and steal his heart for all eternity. And he'll never be able to be with Kay again.
Siren: After a taste of this, the only woman you'll care about is me.
Jessica: Noah, stop!
Noah: The hell I will!
Sam: Let him go! Let him go.
Spike: Man, you two have some serious anger issues to work through. You guys ever consider a 12-step program maybe?
Noah: Go to hell, all right? You don't know half the stuff this guy's done.
Sam: I'm afraid I do, ok? I know that these two are now married, and they're going to be living in this house together.
Noah: What? In our house? You can't be serious.
Ivy: Yes, he is, Noah. But your father made it conditional on some ground rules.
Spike: Believe me, it's like being in the Army.
Sam: Yeah, for one thing here, Mr. Unemployment is going to get an honest job.
Noah: I'll believe that when I see it.
Sam: Jess, why don't you go upstairs, ok? I need to talk to Noah, all right? I think we all need some down time here.
Spike: You got it, Chief.
Spike: Hey, hey. Come on, stop looking so guilty. It's not your fault that him and that rich chick are broken up.
Jessica: Yes, it is. If I had backed up his story the way I should have, she might be back together with him now.
Spike: There's nothing you can do about it now.
Noah: Dad, how can you let him live here?
Sam: It's not going to be easy, but at least this way we'll have contact with Jessica. Look, maybe we can talk her out of it.
Noah: Or someone could end up dead.
Sam: Do you think Spike's gonna kill someone?
Noah: No, I'm talking about me. Because if I get half a chance, I'm gonna kill him.
Gwen: Oh, my God.
Theresa: It -- it's not what you think.
Gwen: I mean, now you're wishing that Ethan were little Ethan's father? Theresa, you need to get over this, ok? Julian is little Ethan's father, whether you like it or not.
Little Ethan: Check it out, Uncle Ethan.
Ethan: That -- that is cool.
Gwen: Just because you named your son after my husband is not going to make him his father.
Ethan: Ok, right in the hole. That's good. Little harder, little harder. Come on. Give me a curve ball. Curve ball, hold it like that. Nice. You're getting good. You're getting really good.
Luis: I wish there -- I wish there was something I could say.
Fancy: I was there, Sheridan. Luis did everything humanly possible to save Marty.
Chris: I'm not sure this is good for Sheridan. They didn't want to release her from the hospital.
Chris: Is it the baby?
Sheridan: No. No, I'm fine. Oh, my God.
Chris: These can't be contractions. It's still way too soon. That's ok, that's ok.
Luis: We have an emergency at the cottage on the Crane estate. Please hurry.
Fancy: Oh, dear God. If she delivers this early, she'll lose the baby.
Chris: Do something!
Luis: What's happening?
Fancy: Is she losing the baby?
On the Next Passions:
Kay: Is that a whale?
Miguel: What, where?
Kay: Oh, my God! Whoo!
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