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Provided By Glynis
Proofread by Jodi
Fox: Miguel, it's time to come up for air. Remember Kay hit her head and fainted? Maybe she should go to the emergency room.
Tabitha: "Fainted," my aunt Fanny. Siren bonked her on the head with a baseball bat.
Fox: Miguel! Remember Kay was hurt tonight when she got that electric shock?
Kay: I don't need the emergency room. All I need is love from the man of my dreams. You.
Siren: Poor Fox. It hurts, doesn't it? Seeing the people we love best kissing like that.
Fox: It's killing me. That shock really scrambled Kay's brain. She thinks she's engaged to Miguel. So, I know that Dr. Russell says that we're supposed to humor her, but I don't know for how much longer I can do that for.
Siren: If we try, I know we can get through anything together.
Tabitha: That mermaid is making a move on Fox. Remember the mermaid's curse? If she makes love to him, he will never be able to make love to a mortal woman.
Tabitha: Endora! Where did you learn words like that?
Theresa: I can't believe this. You aren't brother and sister.
Whitney: I know. I know, I can hardly believe it myself.
Chad: See, I knew loving you couldn't be a sin.
Whitney: It's proof miracles happen, Theresa. I just hope one day you can be this happy.
Theresa: Oh, yeah, I'm going to be this happy. I'm going to find J.T. I mean, the nun said that I would receive information tonight that would bond Ethan to me forever, right? She was right about you two, so she's got to be right about Ethan and me. Will you help me find J.T.?
Chad: Of course. He couldn't have gotten that far.
Theresa: All right, let's go get him.
Fancy: Please, Grampy, call off your goons. These people don't deserve this.
Alistair: Yes, they do. They're going to get exactly what they deserve.
Edna: What's that noise?
Norma: Sounds like an army marching.
Alistair: Oh, no. No, the click-click-click of stiletto heels, the drum beat of heavy boots. It -- it can't be.
Fancy: Can't be what?
Alistair: It's the help that Paloma and Simone went to get. And if it is what I think it is, then my whole body is going to be ripped limb from limb.
Beth: By who?
Alistair: By them.
Simone: Sic 'em, sisters.
Woman: Alistair Crane --
Beth: Back off lady!
Alistair: Good girl. Good girl.
Gwen: Fancy, what is happening?
Fancy: My grandfather is trying to kill us all -- Luis, Ethan, Noah, even Mrs. Wallace and that crazy Norma.
Gwen: Oh, my God, nothing can happen to Ethan.
Fancy: Oh, my --
Fox: Miguel, can I talk to you for a second?
Kay: Don't go too far.
Fox: This is insane.
Miguel: I know. But what do you want me to do, huh? Dr. Russell said to play along with Kay's fantasy until she snaps out of it.
Kay: No offense, all of you, but can you guys clear out? Miguel and I would like to go to bed. Right, honey?
Miguel: Just a minute.
Fox: So you're going to go to bed with my fiancée, in our bed?
Miguel: What else do you want me to do? I can't do anything to upset her. God knows what will happen if I do.
Fox: I guess I don't need to say that all you're going to do in that bed is sleep, right?
Miguel: Right. Of course.
Fox: As long as that's understood.
Kay: I miss you.
Miguel: I'm not going anywhere.
Fox: Listen, you've been hurt tonight and you should get some rest, ok?
Kay: Party pooper. Now, remember what I said about Siren, ok? She's a little crazy. She thinks she's a mermaid, so you might want to rethink your relationship. But don't worry, there's plenty of fish in the sea.
Fox: Good night, Kay.
Kay: Good night.
Fox: Go to sleep.
Siren: Oh, you poor man. I know we can get through this together.
Fox: Siren, I'm going to go sleep on the couch downstairs.
Siren: Fiddlesticks. You won't get any sleep down there. Why not sleep in Miguel's room with me?
Fox: Because there's not a couch in there.
Siren: But there is a nice big bed. We can share.
Tabitha: Brazen hussy.
Fox: Siren, do -- do you want me to sleep with you?
Chad: We're going to be looking forever. This neighborhood is like a maze.
Whitney: I don't see him anywhere. Theresa, I really hope this works out for you. I haven't been this happy in so long, and I want the same for you.
Theresa: Thanks. I think he's really gone. I was so close to being with Ethan.
Whitney: Don't give up on your miracle. Look, I got mine. You can get yours, too.
Theresa: Yeah, you know, I know when I'm, like, the third wheel, and you guys have helped me look so much already. So, I mean, I know you just want that alone time together, so please go, you know?
Whitney: No, no, no, it's all right.
Chad: Now, look, first I've got to get this back to the Vatican. The Pope is going to be excited I got this from Alistair.
Theresa: And then?
Chad: We might be able to find a little time to ourselves.
Theresa: I'm happy for you guys, I really am. You know, after everything that you went through, Whitney, God gave you your life back, so you give me hope.
Whitney: Yeah, I mean, think about it. We're going to be able to be a family, raise our son together, have a normal life just like everybody else.
Theresa: That's right. All right, get out of here before I start to cry. God bless you.
Chad: Now, don't you give up on happiness, Theresa. It's waiting for you right around the corner.
Theresa: So maybe if I keep praying, I'll get my miracle just like Whitney.
J.T.: Come on, come on. Damn this stupid thing!
Theresa: That's J.T.
J.T.: How hard can it be to steal a stupid motorbike?
Theresa: J.T., stop!
J.T.: Theresa. Good God!
Theresa: You are not going anywhere.
Gwen: Ethan! Oh, my God.
Fancy: Luis, behind you!
Beth: Daddy, stop! Please let Luis go.
Alistair: I was hoping he'd be dead already, but the lesbians have turned the tide, so your precious Luis will be just fine.
Beth: Thank God for the lesbians.
Luis: They're running! Go on!
Alistair: Don't run, you bastards! Stay here and fight! Don't let them beat you!
Edna: Run! Run, you cowards!
Norma: With a long enough lever, women can move the world!
Beth: What are we going to do, Daddy?
Luis: You're going to go to jail, Beth. It's over, Alistair. No more running, no more hiding. You are finally going to pay for the pain that you have caused everyone.
Fox: Siren, are you asking me to sleep with you? No way. Listen, just because Kay and Miguel are sharing a bed together doesn't mean that I can just jump into bed with another woman.
Siren: Oh, Fox.
Fox: Listen, Siren, Kay and Miguel aren't making love tonight. And neither are we, all right?
Siren: Well, really. I asked you to sleep with me, but I didn't mean sex. How could you think that? You can sleep with me to rest. Platonic, like Kay and Miguel.
Fox: Thanks, Siren. But, no, the couch is going to be just fine. I really need to be alone anyway, ok? Good night.
Tabitha: What's the big smile, fish girl? Fox refused to sleep in your room. I thought you'd be angry.
Siren: Win some, lose some, right?
Tabitha: What are you up to?
Siren: Whatever do you mean?
Tabitha: Oh come, come. I've known a few mermaids over the centuries. I know when something's up. Normally I wouldn't care because I would be perfectly happy for Kay to be with Miguel, but -- I was getting to you, Endora. You see, Endora loves Fox very much, and she is not going to sit idly by while you ruin his life.
Siren: Sweetie, we're old friends, right? You gave me these great gams. You're not going to turn on me now. Now, look, your auntie Kay has been very, very rude to me, and when grownups are very rude they must be punished. So, if Kay gets her memory back --
Tabitha: "When" Kay gets her memory back.
Siren: Whatever. When Kay gets her memory back, she'll have lost both Fox and Miguel. Isn't that hilarious? Night-night, you two.
Tabitha: Don't worry, Endora. Mummy will keep her eyes on Siren. We're not going to let her ruin Fox's life as well with that mermaid's curse.
Miguel: This is so crazy. I can't make love to Kay. She's engaged to Fox, and I promised -- what if she freaks out when I refuse? I can't keep saying I'm tired. She's not going to believe me.
Kay: Ready or not, here I come.
Kay: You like? I know you said were tired earlier, so I thought this little number might perk you up. You like it?
J.T.: Ciao, bella! Yee-ha!
Luis: That's right, justice will finally be served. You're going down. And you are going to jail, Beth. I want to thank you girls.
Paloma: You mean women.
Luis: Yeah, sure, as you like. Because without all of you, your friends, we would have never won that battle.
Simone: Well, you can always count on the sisterhood. Right, ladies?
Simone: They all hate Alistair because he's a homophobic bigot.
Paloma: And a pig.
Noah: Alistair, tell Fancy how you orchestrated our breakup.
Alistair: You're rather confused, aren't you, Noah?
Noah: What? Come here!
Luis: All right, all right. Hey, hey, hey, enough of that.
Gwen: Ethan, I was so worried about you.
Ethan: Don't be worried. It's a good day. We just took down Alistair Crane, all right?
Luis: All right, Alistair, it's time for you to go to the authorities.
Alistair: Ladies, why don't you tell Luis what happened when you went to the authorities for help.
Simone: When we went to the police station, they ignored us.
Paloma: They did more than that. They locked themselves in. Alistair must have paid them off.
Luis: Damn it!
Alistair: Yeah, Luis, why don't you take me to the authorities? Because all they're going to do is give me some excellent Chianti and some cannoli. Because they're all employees of mine and they're not going to help you punish me.
Luis: Oh, yeah? We'll see about that.
Alistair: I'm the richest, most powerful man on earth, Luis. And the poor fools who think they're getting justice are the ones who cannot afford good lawyers or judges.
Luis: There will be justice. Because if the authorities won't help me, I'll make you pay myself. You're a dead man.
Miguel: Kay, we shouldn't.
Kay: Shh, this is no time for words.
Miguel: Kay --
Kay: I love you.
Tabitha: Oh. Oh, my. Kay has been shopping online again. That lingerie is ridiculous. The less material they use, the more it costs, it seems. Oh, please. No mortal man could resist a kiss like that. Endora, if we don't do something, Miguel and Kay are going to make love. Listen, sweet pea, I know Mummy always says no magic, no magic after bedtime. But, listen, I want you to hit Miguel with a double whammy right now, right now.
Kay: What was that?
Miguel: I don't know. Did you see purple light?
Kay: I don't think so.
Miguel: Maybe I banged my head.
Kay: Are you ok?
Miguel: Yeah, I'm fine. I think I was just too close to the edge. I don't think I've fallen off my bed since I was 5. Do you smell burning hair?
Kay: No. Let's get back to what we were doing.
Miguel: Kay, look, I'm tired, and that was a real mood breaker.
Kay: Oh. You don't like this?
Miguel: Are you kidding? You look incredible. I just think we should wait.
Kay: Ok. We'll just talk and snuggle.
Miguel's voice: I was barely able to resist temptation. Let's hope she's done for the night.
Tabitha: Oh, well done, my little demonette. I think that was a triple whammy. Uh-oh. Oh, I'm sorry, my pet. I think your efforts have been in vain. Siren is preparing to make a move on Fox, and she's going to use the siren's song. My, yes. Yes, mermaids have been using the siren's song to seduce mortal men for centuries, either to make love or to their deaths.
Tabitha: Oh, you can't, sweet pea, you can't. I'm afraid mermaids have their own sort of magic to protect themselves.
Siren: No man can resist siren's song.
Siren: You're mine, Fox, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Nun: Oh. Do my eyes deceive me?
Chad: No, Sister, they don't. We rescued the chalice.
Nun: Oh, bless you. You have saved the church and all its followers, and perhaps the human race.
Chad: It's all in a day's work.
Whitney: Don't be so modest. You're a hero. You're my hero.
Whitney: Oh, you don't have to call me that anymore. You see, your prophecy came true. Chad and I found out that we were never brother and sister, so there's no reason for us not to love each other anymore.
Nun: Then --
Whitney: No, I won't be taking my final vows. I'm never leaving this man again.
Nun: Ho capito, I understand. I'm happy for you, carissima. And to get married and raise children in the faith is -- how you say -- equally valid way to serve God. Enjoy each other.
Whitney: Thank you so much for everything. I mean, if it wasn't for you, I might still be down in the catacombs.
Nun: No, no, no, forget that. The chalice is returned to its rightful home. And you, carissima, are with the man you love. Go. Go with God.
Whitney: Thank you.
Nun: Enjoy yourselves, my children, while you can. Great trials are coming to you two. Great trials.
J.T.: Oh, God. Get this woman away from me.
J.T.: Get off me!
Theresa: No, no. Don't you even try to get away from me, ok, because I will bean you with this, I swear I will.
J.T.: Oh, you wouldn't dare.
Theresa: You know what? When I want something, I do whatever it takes to get what I want. And I want Ethan, so you will prove to him that it was Gwen and Rebecca who sent the information to your sleazy tabloid.
J.T.: My God.
Ethan: Hey, hey!
Noah: Luis, let go of him. You are the only one who's going to go to jail.
Luis: I don't care!
Fancy: Please, Luis, don't hurt him!
Alistair: Sorry, ladies, I'm still alive.
Luis: Not for long. You know why? Because I know agents at Interpol who aren't on your payroll, and they'll come take you into custody.
Fancy: They won't hurt him, will they?
Noah: Fancy --
Luis: Fancy, come on.
Noah: What are you doing? After all this time, can't you see that your grandfather is a monster?
Luis: Calling Interpol right now. They'll come pick up the garbage, and then you're going to tell me where my son is.
Beth: Daddy, what are we going to do?
Alistair: What do you mean, "we"?
Alistair: Just a few minutes ago you had a gun on me, trying to make me save Luis.
Beth: I know, but you know how much I love him.
Alistair: You betrayed me.
Beth: I saved you from the lesbian. I got caught up in the moment.
Alistair: Oh, in the moment. I see. Well, let me tell you something. Luis is fine and we're in danger, and if I go to prison you go to prison, too, and you'll never see Marty again.
Beth: Can't you do something to get us out of this?
Alistair: Oh, I can make sure that they don't take us alive.
Beth: What? Wait. That's not to unlock your car, is it?
Alistair: You said you wanted to escape. When I press this button, the whole piazza blows up.
Beth: What? With us in it?
Alistair: You won't feel a thing.
Tabitha: Oh, dear, I thought so. Siren is about to use the mermaid's song to lure Fox into her arms. Oh, yes, yes. Music has strong magic. It hath power to soothe the savage beast. Well, whatever.
Siren: Prepare yourself, mortal. Soon you will be mine.
Tabitha: There she is. Can you hear her, Endora?
Fox: Singing. God, that's beautiful.
Fox: And riveting. Where's that music coming from? I have to find where that music is coming from.
Tabitha: Oh, Endora, Fox is caught in Siren's musical web. He's doomed.
Theresa: Unless you want me to bean you with this, then you will help me convince Ethan that it was Gwen and Rebecca who exposed his true paternity.
J.T.: Or what?
Theresa: Or I will turn you in to the I.R.S. and you will go straight to jail.
J.T.: Oh, come on.
Theresa: No, J.T., this is it, all right? You either give me the proof or you spend the rest of your life behind bars.
Beth: Is it over yet?
Alistair: It will be. Damn it, damn it.
Gwen: Honey, are you ok? Are you hurt?
Ethan: I'm fine. I mean, my jaw got in the way of someone's fist, but other than that I'm fine.
Luis: Just got off the phone with Interpol. Agents are on their way. Do you hear that, old man? Huh? Because you're going to the big house, Italian style.
Fancy: Well, they won't hurt him, will they?
Noah: Fancy --
Fancy: No, it's like you said, he is an old man.
Noah: Look, he is tough, ok? He's going to get what he deserves.
Luis: Yeah, he will. So I guess that means no cannolis for you, huh? What do you have in your hand? What is that?
Beth: I'll see you in heaven, Luis.
Kay: I love you so, so much. I always have.
Miguel: You're the best, Kay.
Kay: Ok, I have a question.
Kay: I have been telling you I love you all night. Why won't you tell me you love me back? Is something wrong?
Tabitha: Look, look, Endora. Fox is in the song's power.
Tabitha: I have never seen anyone in a trance that deep. Once he finds that doorknob, he's going to be in Siren's clutches forever. Yeah, but he has no control over his own actions, Endora. That song is the song the mermaids have used to lure sailors to their death on the rocks for centuries.
Tabitha: Listen, if you think Miguel is coming to the rescue, then you're really much mistaken. Because Siren is singing to Fox, and no one else can hear her. Except us, of course. Oh, Endora, pay attention. We've got to do something before it's too late. Come on, hurry. Let's go upstairs. Come on.
Siren: Come to me, Fox. Come to me.
Siren: Come to me, human. Hear the mermaid's song.
Fancy: What happened?
Ethan: Are you all right?
Gwen: Yeah, I think so.
Luis: Where's Alistair?
Noah: He's gone. What the hell was that?
Edna: Oh, a smoke bomb, a real stinkeroo.
Norma: I hate secondhand smoke.
Luis: Damn it! Come on, we can't let him get away, him and Beth!
Norma: Daddy? Daddy? Oh.
Edna: Come on, Normie. Come on, come on.
Luis: Damn it. Alistair and Beth got away again.
Fancy: Well, at least he won't get hurt.
Noah: Fancy, how can you say that? How can you defend your grandfather like this? Even though he didn't confess, it is obvious that he is the one who ripped us apart.
Fancy: Oh, this is so you. Blame everyone except yourself. Whatever my grandfather did or didn't do, the bottom line is you didn't have faith in me, faith that I could handle the truth.
Noah: All I was trying to do was protect you, Fancy.
Fancy: Protect me, or protect yourself?
Noah: What? What does that mean? Look, can't we just forget about all this and start over? I mean, can't we just solidify that thing that is us?
Fancy: I don't think there is an us, Noah. Maybe there never was.
Ethan: You all right?
Noah: All right? How can any man be all right without the woman he loves?
Theresa: That is just a taste of what I will do to you if you do not cooperate. Do you hear me, J.T.?
Theresa: Now, I have been trying to get Ethan back for six years, and I will not let some ex-tabloid editor stand in my way. I've got the power of God on my side.
J.T.: Oh, you're crazier than Alistair.
Theresa: A nun said that I would receive information tonight that would bond Ethan to me forever.
J.T.: Ooh, fortunetellers.
Theresa: Better. She said that Chad and Whitney would get back together, and you know what? They are.
J.T.: Because of me. I'm the guy that told Chad that Whitney's not his sister.
Theresa: Well, then, good, you can get me proof, J.T. Like the photograph of you and Rebecca in bed together, the answering machine tape from your apartment. That will prove that I'm telling the truth to Ethan. Otherwise you're going to go straight to jail after I break every bone in your body!
J.T.: Wait. What if I give you something better?
Theresa: Better than what?
J.T: .Better than Gwen and Rebecca exposing Ethan's paternity.
Theresa: What's better than that?
J.T.: Oh, something that will bond you with Ethan forever.
Theresa: Ok, that's what the nun said.
J.T.: Well, I have information that I have kept from Alistair for a very long time. It is -- it is shattering information. And it's absolutely true. Would you like to know what it is?
Kay: Well, why won't you tell me you love me?
Miguel: Kay, it's late.
Kay: Oh, no. You don't love me anymore.
Miguel: Kay, it's not that, it's just --
Kay: Well, then why won't you say it? Say it.
Miguel: All right. I love you, Kay. I'm sorry, I just -- I didn't know I wasn't saying it. I'm really tired.
Kay: No, it's ok. I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to sound so needy. It's just I'm used to hearing you say it over and over again all the time, every day. So you love me, right?
Miguel: Yes, I do, more than any other woman in the world. That's God's honest truth.
Fox: What's happening?
Tabitha: Oh, we're too late, Endora. Neptune's acoustic love tunnel. And now Fox is already inside it, so all he can hear is Siren's song of doom.
Tabitha: Fiend! Fiend! You won't get away with this.
Tabitha: Oh, no, don't do it, dear boy. Don't do it! You will -- you will regret it for the rest of your days.
Siren: Go in the bedroom. Wait for me. I'll be there in a second.
Siren: No one can fight the siren's song.
Tabitha: You'll destroy him.
Siren: So? There are too many humans on this planet as it is. You can't stop me, Tabitha. You never could.
Tabitha: Oh, sweet pea, what are we going to do? We've failed.
Whitney: Oh, my God, Chad. Our miracle. Can you believe this?
Chad: Baby, all my prayers have been answered.
Whitney: All the dreams I had, Chad, dreams I thought were sins. They were my heart sending out prayers to you.
Chad: You know, all I ever wanted was you, and Miles -- to be a family, to come home from a hard day's work and see you two smiling, waiting for me. Whitney, what we've been given is a true blessing, a chance to live a quiet life with the woman I love more than anything in the world.
Whitney: And no stigma.
Whitney: I don't have to hear that word 'incest' again. And Miles can hold his head up high. Chad, I love you so much.
Chad: Why don't you kiss me again.
Whitney: Oh, no problem.
Luis: Damn that man, he is infuriating! I'll find him, I swear I'll find him.
Noah: It's -- it's all right, Luis, ok? You will catch him.
Alistair: Don't waste your time, Luis. I'm long gone.
Luis: The hell you are.
Alistair: You may have won this battle, Luis, but you've lost the war. You will never see Marty, and Sheridan will never, ever forgive you.
Luis: I'll find you, Alistair!
Theresa: You tell me everything you know, J.T., or you suffer the consequences.
J.T.: Ok, ok. And then you promise not to send me to jail.
Theresa: I am not in the mood to bargain, ok? Just tell me what you know!
J.T.: Ok! Listen, Julian Crane, the kid's father --
Theresa: Yes, Julian Crane, little Ethan's father. What?
J.T.: Well, guess what. He's not the kid's father.
Theresa: Of course little Ethan is Julian's son.
J.T.: No, no, no, no. No, you're wrong. Little Ethan's father is Ethan Winthrop. Your Ethan.
On the Next Passions:
Norma: We're going to put on a show. Tonight we're going to sing a few songs.
Tabitha: Who do you really love?
J.T.: Now do you believe that Ethan is little Ethan's father?
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