Passions Transcript Friday 6/23/06 [an error occurred while processing this directive]

Passions Transcript Friday 6/23/06--Canada; Monday 6/26/06--USA
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Provided By Glynis
Proofread by Jodi

Fox: Kay, what aren't you telling me? Why were you kissing Miguel?

Kay: Why wouldn't I? He's the love of my life. There's no other man in my heart but Miguel.

Miguel: Kay --

Kay: You know, that's another thing I love about you -- how shy you are about our relationship in front of other people. It's so sweet.

Ivy: I am so sorry, darling. But it's better you find out now rather than later what a two-timing tramp Kay is. I know this must be tearing you apart inside.

Siren: I don't know about his insides, but somebody's about to get torn apart for real. Get your lips and your paws off my man.

Jessica: It's true. Spike's my husband. We were married just tonight.

Noah: Look, that's not funny, Jessica.

Jessica: I know it isn't. I take my vows very seriously.

Noah: How could you marry a cold-blooded murdering pimp? You couldn't.

Jessica: I did. And I'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from calling my husband names.

Luis: Yeah, well, I'm calling your father. He's got a right to know what this scum's done to you.

Jessica: Hey, if you don't mind, Luis, I'd rather give my father the good news myself.

Simone: Ok, who are you and what have you done with Jessica Bennett?

Paloma: You hate Spike. You said you never wanted to see him again.

Simone: You left Harmony to get away from him.

Jessica: I know, and I appreciate your concern. However, I've always felt it was a woman's prerogative to change her mind. "Spike" is actually just a nickname. I am now Mrs. Herbert Lester. Right, darling?

Spike: That's right, baby.

Jessica: I love him and he loves me, and there's not a thing any of you can do to change that.

Gwen: What are you thinking about?

Ethan: Nothing.

{Whitney: I think the ceiling is going to collapse!

Theresa: Forget about the ceiling! J.T., please tell Ethan the truth! Tell him now!

Ethan: I think Whitney's right about this, guys.

J.T.: It's going to cave!

[Screaming] }

Gwen: Why don't I call room service and have them bring up some champagne and strawberries.

Ethan: Hmm, no.  No champagne for me, ok?

Gwen: Then what are you in the mood for?

Ethan: I am in the mood for something.

Gwen: Your wish is my command.

Ethan: I'm glad it is cause I'm in the mood for a little bit of truth.

Theresa: Did you hear what the nun said? I'm going to get Ethan back.

Whitney: Well, yeah, but that's not all she prophesied.

Theresa: That was the most important part, Whitney. You did hear her?

Whitney: Theresa, you only hear the parts you want to hear.  The sister was very clear in her warning.

Theresa: Whitney, I am going to be reunited with the man that I love, and that is all I need to know.

Whitney: Even though she prophesied that there was going to be great pain coming in store for you? Come on, Theresa, you don't seriously mean to stick your head in the sand and pretend like everything's just going to be all rosy?

Theresa: Why not?

Edna: Psst, how much did the old goat give ya?

Norma: More than you, I bet. Daddy loves me best.

Edna: Oh, for the last time, Normy, he's not your daddy. He's my daughter's father.

Beth: Yeah, and you could have told me that before I grew up bitter and poor.

Edna: Bethie, if I had known, you would've known. We could've been something, Bethie. We could've been contenders.

Norma: Daddy took me to a movie with that line in it once.


Edna: Ooh -- oh -- oh --

Norma: What's with these tremors, Daddy? Oh, Norma doesn't have her Dramamine with her.

Alistair: I've begun to unleash the power. All I have to do is transcribe a few more lines, and it's all mine.

Norma: Norma needs a drink to calm her nerves.

Edna: Oh, make me another double, will you? Leave it to Alistair, Bethie, to re-create his mansion library from Harmony all the way over here from arrivederci Roma.

Beth: Hey, hey, I thought you and the battle-ax lady were going to hit the road once I got Alistair to give you some money, huh?

Norma: Did somebody say ax?  Aw, I've misplaced my ax. 

Edna: Oh, God --

Alistair: Oh -- hot, hot, hot. Better leave that alone while I decide the last and final phrases.

Norma: Oopsy-daisy.

Alistair: Put that down.

Norma: Ooh -- Daddy doesn't have to get mad at Norma. She just wanted to have a little drink out of it. Daddy -- daddy can have it back right after I have my --

Alistair: I'm not your daddy. And you give me back that chalice now.

Norma: Hey -- hey -- this is fun! Ooh, we haven't played games like this since I was a cute little girl. Remember, Daddy?

[Norma giggles]

Norma: Ooh!

Alistair: Edna, will you please tell your friend --

Norma: Agh.

Alistair: That if she doesn't let go, she will regret the day she was born.

Norma: Hey, come on, Edna. I need some backup here. Daddy's not playing nice!

Edna: Oh, for crying out loud.

[All grunting]

J.T.: Alas, the real decline and fall of the Roman Empire.

J.T.: "Roman Holiday" meets "The Three Stooges" -- you just can't make this stuff up.

Alistair: Let go of my chalice, you nitwit.

Norma: Ooh, Daddy's in a terrible mood tonight.

Alistair: Please, for the last time, will someone just tell her that I am not her daddy?  Because if I were, I'd hang myself.

[Norma gasps]

Norma: That is not nice, Daddy. Don't be so mean to baby Norma.

Edna: Oh, you're not a baby, Norma.  You're a bruiser, and he's right! He's not your daddy. This is Alistair Crane! What the hell am I trying to do. Help you keep this magic goblet? For heaven sakes, just get another glass and pour yourself a double! Agh!

[Norma screams]

Alistair: No! No!

Theresa:  A little pain's not going to scare me off.

Whitney: It should.

Theresa: Come on, who are you talking to here?  I'm your best friend. You've known me for years. A little more pain is not going to do that much more damage, ok? Especially now that I see there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Stop being such a worrywart.

Whitney: Oh, no, no. I'm a realist here.

Theresa: And I'm a dreamer, Whitney. Come on, the nun just gave us amazing news -- you're going to be with Chad, I'm going to be with Ethan. Now, only you could take that kind of information and turn it into some kind of downer.

Whitney: And only you could ignore the facts the way that you do. Now, look, Gwen is married to Ethan, and Chad is still my brother no matter what some old nun says. Now, she's probably wrong about me, just like she's probably wrong about you.

Theresa: She isn't.  We have suffered so much that this is going to work out for us.  I'd stake my life on it.

Gwen: What do you mean you want the truth?  Ethan, I've never lied to you.

Ethan: Look, you and I, we've known each other most of our lives, right? And we've been through more ups and downs than probably 20 couples combined and we've come out stronger for it in the end.

Gwen: Because we love each other

Ethan: Yes, we do, and we -- on that wedding day, we vowed to each other that we would stick by each other through thick and thin.  We're raising children together and we're planning on growing old together.

Gwen: We're going to.

Ethan: Yes, but none of this is going to happen, Gwen, if I don't clear my mind of a few things.

Gwen: Ok. Like what?

Ethan: Like ridding my mind of any nagging doubts.

Gwen: You mean this whole thing --

Ethan: Yeah, I am talking about the situation with J.T. Cornell.

Gwen: I can't believe you're letting Theresa's outrageous lies get to you.

Ethan: Honey, Theresa has raised some questions, not just about you but about your mother, as well. Are you sure there isn't any way that your mother might've known some --

Gwen: Absolutely not. Look, the only thing fueling these accusations is Theresa's desperation to destroy our marriage, and quite frankly, I'm really hurt that you're even bringing this up.

Ethan: I don't want to hurt you. I just want to know that you're telling me everything about this tabloid situation.

Gwen: Honey, this was years ago, and of course I have. I don't understand why you're even asking me about this now.

Ethan: Honey, I wouldn't be bringing it up if I didn't feel right about it. Something doesn't feel right to me. Why would Theresa have this fixation on this J.T. Cornell guy who apparently has incriminating evidence connecting you and your mother to him?

Gwen: Because she's Theresa, that's why.

Ethan: She risked her life, Gwen, just to get me to talk to this guy face to face. She swears that J.T. has proof that you, he, and your mother are connected, and that she swears that you were the ones that sent that story to the tabloids revealing my true paternity.

Gwen: Well, she is lying through her teeth.

Ethan: I want you to tell me why she would do that. Why would she go to such lengths, Gwen? Hmm? I mean, if you're going to risk your life for something, you better be 100% sure. I want you to tell me why she would do that.

Luis: The only reason I'm not going to call Sam is because this is going to break his heart.

Noah: Luis, if anyone's going to call him, it'll be me, his son. Now, are you sure you two didn't know anything about this?

Simone: God, no. The last time we talked about Spike, she was talking about how she couldn't believe she'd ever fallen for him.

Paloma: She said she didn't want to have anything to do with him again.

Fancy: It doesn't make sense.

Noah: Ok, get your filthy mitts off my sister.

Spike: Oh. She's my old lady. I'll do what I want, whenever I want.

Simone: She -- he must've gotten her high again because she would've never married him in her right mind.

Noah: If you have hurt my sister, so help me, God --

Jessica: I am not on any drugs, Noah. I married Spike because I realized I loved him.

Fancy: I wish you would've taken some time to think about it, Jessica. But if they are legally married and she wants to be with him, I don't know what you can do.

Luis: Well, the first thing that I'm going to do is make this guy tell me where Alistair is.

Spike: Oh, really? Hmm, that'd be a no-can-do, buddy.

Fancy: We'll find my grandfather ourselves. I want to get to the bottom of this more than anyone.

Noah: Hold on, I'm not going anywhere until Jessica confirms my story about Lena and Maya. Now, come on, Jessica. Tell us what you heard at the hotel room when I brought Spike to Lena. Tell Fancy how I never stopped loving her. All right? Tell her how they threatened Fancy's life if I didn't act like I was all wrapped up with Maya. Come on, Jessica. Tell the truth.

Jessica: I'm sorry, Noah. I wish I could tell Fancy what you want me to, but it'd be a lie. I didn't hear anything like that.

Siren: Get away from Miguel!

Kay: Who do you think you are?

Miguel: Hey, come on, both of you, stop it, that's enough

Ivy's voice: Perfect -- a cat fight over Miguel. There's no way Fox can ignore that.

Tabitha: Oh, dear. Kay's about to lose everything. Why is she insisting she belongs with Miguel?

Fox: What are you talking about, that you love Miguel? I've asked you a dozen times if you had unresolved feelings for him and you always denied it.

Kay: Well, why would I do that when every time I look at him, my heart skips a beat? You've been out in the sun too long, Fox.  You're imagining things. 

Ivy: Oh, honey, well at least it's out in the open.  I knew she couldn't keep her true feelings covered for long.  And don't worry, Fox, there are dozens of lovely girls out there--

Fox: Stop it, Mother.  I don't want to hear it right now.

Ivy: Well of course not, you're in shock.

Tabitha: Look like she's milking the gift cow that's dropped in her lap. 

Siren: Any time, any place, you've met your match, Kay Bennett. Let's take it outside.

Miguel: That's enough, Siren.

Kay: Whoever you think you are, you're crazy.

Eve: Kay, honey, can I talk to you for a moment? I want to see if I can figure out what's going on here.

Kay: Oh, come sit by me, Miguel.

Miguel: Talk to Eve first, ok?

Kay: Ok.

Eve: Tell me your name, honey.

Kay: What? This is ridiculous. I'm Kay Bennett, I'm your daughter's best friend.

[Kay sighs]

Eve: Can you tell me what year it is?

Kay: Ok, this is dumb. I know who I am and where I am and what year it is and the name of the man that I'm in love with -- Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald -- and we're going to be married soon. Right, honey?

[Norma grunting]

Alistair: All safe and sound. It's mine. The power of the chalice is mine.

Whitney: Oh, wow. You are certifiable, honey.

Theresa: What, because I'm not giving up on Ethan?

Whitney: No. Because you think with your heart instead of your head.

Theresa: If that's what you're doing by denying yourself the man that you love and your son, then I am not missing out on anything.

Whitney: Ok, we are talking about you right now. And, look, you can't just ignore everything that that old nun said. Her vision about you -- it was so clear.

Theresa: She said that I was going to end up with the man that I love.

Whitney: Which would bring you unspeakable pain and agony.

Theresa: You know, I don't run scared every time someone threatens me. It's like that e-mail that I got on the way to Rome.

Whitney: What e-mail?

Theresa: Oh. You don't know it. Um -- um -- you -- you were in the catacombs, you know, being manipulated by Alistair and -- well, he's the master at trickery.

Whitney: What was the e-mail, Theresa? Who was it from?

Theresa: Oh, it was anonymous, actually. But it said that I was going to win Ethan here in Rome.

Whitney: And?

Theresa: That I would lose my love here in Rome, too, but...

Whitney: Now, that is strange, don't you think?

Theresa: Yeah, totally strange. That's why I don't even pay attention to the last part of it.

Whitney: Well, it's weird because it's the same kind of contradiction that nun saw in her vision.

Theresa: Whitney, all I know is two totally independent sources said the exact same thing -- that I was going to end up with Ethan. Now, the rest of it be damned.

Whitney: Oh -- you and Scarlett O'Hara?

Theresa: What?

Whitney: Tomorrow's another day?

Theresa: Yeah, and when it comes, then I'll deal with it then. But right now, all that matters is today. And today I believe that I will end up living happily ever after with the man that I love -- Ethan.

Whitney: Right.

Ethan: Why won't you look at me?

Gwen: Honey, I'm just putting on my robe.

Ethan: Honey, I just asked you a question. 

Gwen:  I don't know.  How am I expected to make sense of Theresa's motivations?  I don't know how a desperate sociopath ticks.

Ethan: She's not a sociopath, all right? Her behavior is extreme at times, Gwen, but --

Gwen: "At times"? Are you kidding me? She's certifiable. Her sole purpose in life is to destroy me and end our marriage.

Ethan: I'm not saying she hasn't made her mistakes, all right?

Gwen: Please tell me I'm not hearing this. I mean, you're not defending her?

Ethan: Honey, listen, I -- Theresa's many things, but -- but she's not stupid, all right? She's smart, she's intuitive, she's been running Crane Industries literally by herself without missing a beat.

Gwen: Yeah, she may be shrewd at business, but have you ever thought maybe it's because she's such a good liar?

Ethan: Yeah. Yeah, I have, Gwen. But I'll tell you, there's something about this J.T. Cornell situation that keeps nagging at me.  I saw Theresa in the Roman Ruins, I saw Theresa in the church basement, and I'd never seen a woman more convicted. You need to be straight with me right now. Is there any truth to Theresa's accusations, and do you know this J.T. Cornell or not?

Fox: You think you're engaged to Miguel?

Kay: Uh -- no, Fox, I don't think I'm engaged to the love of my life, I know I am.

Eve: Kay, sit back down, honey. We're not finished.

Kay: Look, I -- I don't mean to be rude, Dr. Russell, but I don't really have time for this, ok? I -- I have to go check on Maria.

Siren: She's faking, isn't she?

Miguel: Look, I don't -- I don't get this.

Fox: What's going on here, Eve?

Eve: I don't know, but I can make an educated guess. I think Kay's brain was affected when she received that electrical shock in the laundry room.

Fox: What, like amnesia?

Eve: Like that. I think she's been jolted -- if you'll excuse the expression -- into an alternate reality, and apparently she's confused her feelings for both of you.

Siren: Give me a break. She's made the whole thing up so she can make out with my boyfriend in front of everybody.

Fox: Why would she do that?

Eve: Siren, I really don't think so. Do you recall I asked Kay what year it was? She never answered me. And I get the feeling that she doesn't have any memory of any involvement with Fox.

Fox: Then it -- it is like amnesia.

Miguel: Except Kay and I were never seriously involved, much less engaged.

Eve: Miguel, let me ask you something. What were you and Kay talking about in the laundry room just as she felt the electrical shock?

Miguel: Being single parents, living under the same roof -- uh -- how we were working together to help raise Maria, and -- oh, and I told her how sorry I was for not being around the last couple of years.

Eve: Oh. Well, maybe that reawakened some old feelings that she had for you before she fell in love with Fox, and somehow she confused her feelings between you and Fox.

Ivy's voice: Thank God for New England Light & Power. I'm going to have to send them a little something extra in next month's bill.

Eve: Look, there's so many unanswered questions about the way the human brain works, so I think for now it's best if we just let things be.

Fox: What are you saying, Eve?

Eve: Well, we don't want to scare her, we don't want to alarm her by telling her the truth. It'd be like waking a sleepwalker in a deep sleep.

Fox: You're not suggesting that we let her go on thinking that she's engaged to Miguel?

Eve: Well, yes, that's exactly what I'm suggesting.

Noah: How can you say that, Jess? You were right there in Lena's hotel room when she turned her gun on us and admitted that she knew Spike all along, that they were working for Alistair Crane to break me and Fancy up.

Spike: Hey, don't be putting words in her mouth now, man.

Noah: You know how much I care about Fancy. Now, you are my last chance to convince her that I never stopped loving her. Come on, Jessica. Tell Fancy what you heard.

Jessica: I wish I could say what you want me to, but it wouldn't be true. You know Dad raised us never to tell a lie.

Noah: So marrying a cold-blooded murdering pimp is more important than backing up your own brother?

Fancy: Don't push her, Noah. She obviously didn't hear anything.

Noah: She did. She was right there in the hotel room. You know, I don't believe either one of you. I think you have my sister pumped up on some type of drug again. That's the only reason she'd be stabbing me in the back right now.

Jessica: I'm sorry you feel that way, Noah. But I'm just trying to do the right thing by being honest.

Noah: He works for Alistair Crane. You know that as well as I do. He's been playing us like a bunch of chess pieces, just to make a few bucks, Jessica! He has no conscience, no sense of decency. How could you turn your back on your family and marry him?

{Spike: Hey, Jess -- Jess? Honey, I owe you an apology. I never, ever should've asked you to sell your body so we could get our own place. It was the drugs that I was on. They clouded my judgment. And, you know, I have not been able to sleep a wink since you left. That's the real reason why I tracked you down here in Rome.

Jessica: I thought it was because you were working for Alistair.

Spike: No, no. I did it because I love you. Honey, I've always loved you. Hey, you remember -- do you remember when you said it'd be you and -- you and me forever? Remember?

Jessica: My family loves me, too.

Spike: Oh, honey -- honey, come here. Come here, sit down, sweetie. Sit down. Honey, you know better than that, sweetie. If they loved you, they'd pay more attention to you. They're just -- I don't know -- scared that you'll embarrass them in front of their middle-class friends. And, honey, that's not love. Besides, how they going to keep you from getting on death row for hacking up all those johns?

Jessica: But I don't remember killing any of them.

Spike: Ok, honey. But you do remember having the blood on your hands, right?

Jessica: Yes, but not stabbing them.

Spike: Ok, but I don't think the jury is going to make the distinction, especially with all the evidence that Alistair has against you. Honey, I -- I hate to say this, but you're in this up to your eyeballs.

Jessica: Oh -- oh, my God.

Spike: And, you know, you won't go down the river alone either. I mean, your father -- they'll say he knew about it and he was trying to hide your crimes. He'll probably get charged as an accomplice. Noah, too. And if your sister manages to stay out of this -- well, she'll lose that guy that she's hung up on. She'll probably have to take the kid and move to another country where nobody knows her last name or connects her with you. Oh, honey, it just wouldn't be fair to the little girl having to be known as the niece of an executed serial killer.

Jessica: No, no! I can't let that happen.

Spike: Baby, I hate to see you upset like this, but I wouldn't testify against you if I didn't have to. But you know that damn Alistair Crane. Wait a minute.

Jessica: What?

Spike: Oh, I -- I just thought of a way around this. You know, they cannot make a husband testify against his wife in a court of law.

Jessica: But --

Spike: So why don't -- why don't we just get married, honey? I mean, think about it. Think about it. Honey, I -- I love you, you know that. I mean, it'll be just us forever together. What do you think, sweetie?

Jessica: No -- but I was hoping to find a knight in shining armor. I wanted to live happily ever after.

Spike: Oh, honey, I hate this -- look at me, look at me. Look at me. Honey, so I'll be your knight, and -- and I'll save you from the gas chamber.

Jessica: You mean, that's my choice -- marry you or get the death penalty for killing guys I don't even remember?

Spike: Honey, as much as it pains me to say this, yeah, that's about it. So what's it going to be, honey? You and me for all eternity, or your head on a block? }

Noah: Please, Jessica. Come on, tell me the truth. Why did you marry him? No matter what the reason is, no matter how bad you think it is, I will help you get through it. I swear. You just have to tell me why.

Noah: Jessica, look, there is nothing you can say that would make me or Dad or any of us stop loving you. But there has got to be a reason that you married a man you know is not good for you.

Simone: You don't think Spike threatened Jessica with those johns who got stabbed?

Paloma: Maybe, but we can't say anything out loud.

Jessica: I'm really sorry, Noah. I love you, too, but I love Spike in a whole different way. That's why I married him.

Noah: But this is not like you, all right? What are you hiding? What's going on?

Jessica: Ok, nothing. Just stop badgering me.

Luis: That's it. I think I have seen and heard enough.

[Jessica screams]

Luis: You're going to tell me where Alistair is, or you're going to wish that you had.

Fox: There's no way I'm going to stand by and do nothing while the woman I'm engaged to carries on with Miguel.

Ivy: Oh, honey -- now, Eve is a doctor.

Eve: You know, if I thought there were any other way to snap Kay out of this, I would try it, believe me. But for the moment, I think we would do well just to do nothing.

Miguel: What do you think will happen if we told her the truth?

Eve: God, I don't know. A worst-case scenario, she would never come out of this alternate reality. She might never remember who she's really in love with.

Ivy's voice: I know it's Miguel, and soon everyone else will, too.

Eve: I know it's very strange, but I think for now, the best option is just to go along with Kay -- you know, be gentle, don't argue. And then with any luck, well, things should be better after a good night's sleep.

Fox: So what are you saying, that -- that she might be back to her old self by the morning?

Eve: There's a chance.

Fox: And if she isn't?

Eve: Well, we're just going to have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

Siren: I'm sorry, but I am not about to sit around and act like everything's normal when it's not!

Fox: Yeah, I don't know how I can do that either.

Eve: Well, you know, you can do whatever you like. But I think if you have Kay's best interest at heart, you'll try.

Fox: I want to talk to you -- in private.

Whitney: You know, I really wish sometimes that I could be like you -- just throw all reason to the wind.

Theresa: Whitney, you can. All you got to do is just believe with all of your heart that true love conquers all. Next time you see a glass, you think half full, not half empty.

Whitney: Well, you know, that would be a little bit easier for me if Chad weren't my half brother. Now, believe me, I would love more than anything to believe in the power of love, as you say.

Theresa: Well, go for it, try it, and you know what? Good things will happen for you and Chad, just like things are going to happen for Ethan and me.

Whitney: See, this is what I don't understand. How can you possibly believe that Ethan is going to leave Gwen when he's told you a million times that he won't?

Theresa: I believe in miracles. I'm going to get one, and so are you.

Ethan: It's now or never, Gwen. Look, you tell me the truth right now and I will never ask you about this again. Do you know J.T. Cornell?

{J.T.: You give me money to get out of Rome, or do I stay put and hope Theresa doesn't find me?

Gwen: Ok, fine, I'll give you the money. Where are you, J.T.?

J.T.: The church of the blind monks.

Gwen: Ok, I'll be there as soon as I can. And whatever you do, please, please do not let Theresa see you. }

Gwen: Ethan, for the last time,no.  I do not know J.T. Cornell.

Alistair:  Alright, everyone stay away from me.  If anyone tries to touch this chalice, I will kill them.

Norma: Oh, why is Daddy in such a grouchy mood tonight? Has Norma been a very bad girl?

Beth: Hey -- if you don't stop calling my father your daddy, I'm going to have to put you out of your misery.

Norma: He's not your daddy, he's mine. Everyone says I look just like him.

Edna: Who knew that Precious would be the most normal person I know? Oh.

J.T.: It's not every day I find myself in Alistair Crane's Roman lair. What's an old investigative reporter to do with time on his hands? Snoop. Snoop, snoop for the scoop.

Beth: I'm warning you, Norma, back off! Yeah, better yet -- take my mother in her ratty housedress and beat it --

[Edna gasps]

Beth: Both of you.

Edna: You wretch. Boy, you never change, Bethie.

[Beth sighs]

Norma: I'm not going. Daddy wants me here.

Beth: I warned you not to call him "Daddy"!

Norma: Oh --

Edna: Oh -- oh -- oh, no. Ooh.

Alistair: I'm trying to unlock the secrets of the universe, and I'm surrounded by total idiots.

Norma: Stop! Oh, no!

[Beth and Norma scream]

[Norma laughs]

J.T.: What have we here?

[Norma yells]

Beth: No!

J.T.: Oh, my God, they were right! Alistair Crane really is a bastard.

Norma: Oh, oh!

[Norma groans]

Fox: I just got one question for you, Miguel. Where do you think you're sleeping tonight?

Miguel: I hadn't thought about it, but with Kay, I guess.

Fox: Oh, the hell you are.

Miguel: Ok, come off it, Fox. I'm not trying to make time with your girl.  I'm with Siren

Fox: Oh, really? Why is it that she and I aren't getting that feeling right now?

Miguel:  What's wrong with you? You heard what Dr. Eve said and I'm just trying to follow her orders. And if Kay thinks she and I are together, that's just how we have to play it, man.

Fox:  Ok, so you really think that you're going to go upstairs and get into bed with the woman that I'm engaged to act like you're her fiancÚ?

Ivy: Sweetheart, honey. I'm sorry. I couldn't help but overhear, and don't be upset with Miguel.  He's just trying to do the right thing. 

Fox: Damn it.

Ivy: Come on, really, it's for one night.  What could possibly happen in one night?

Siren: Kay's made a big mistake if she thinks she can win against a mermaid.

Kay:  [Sighs] Well, Maria's sound asleep, which means you and I can go up to bed. Hope you're not too tired.

Miguel: Uh-uh.

Theresa: Ok. If you don't believe me, then what about the nun? She said she had this vision, Whitney, that we were going to be happy with Ethan and Chad.

Whitney: And that we were going to experience deep suffering and pain.

Theresa: But she didn't go into detail about that, so how much weight could it really carry?

Whitney: Right.

Theresa: All I know is I'm very close to finding J.T. Cornell, and when I do, he's going to prove to Ethan that his wife is a duplicitous snake, he's going to divorce her and he's going to come rushing back to my arms where he's always belonged. 

Whitney:  You're dreaming, as usual.  What you want here -- it's impossible.

Theresa: Not in my vocabulary. I know God's going to come through for us. He works in mysterious ways, you know.

Whitney: Yeah, but see, the problem is so does Satan.

Gwen: You're scaring me.

Ethan: How am I doing that?

Gwen: The way you're looking at me, your tone. And I'm not even sure I understand what the big deal is about.

Ethan: Gwen, are you kidding me?

Gwen: Look, I don't know J.T. Cornell, but what difference would it make if I did?

[Ethan sighs]

Ethan: Honey, the tabloid editor is not the problem.

Gwen: That's exactly my point.

Ethan: The tipping off of the tabloid editor is not the problem, either. The real problem, the insurmountable problem, doesn't have a damn thing to do with whether I'm a biological Crane or not -- it's the lie. Because if my wife has been lying to me for years and years and heaping one untruth on top of one another over and over and over again, that's unforgivable. No marriage can survive that level of dishonesty, not even ours. But you've told me that you don't know J.T. Cornell and that you never gave him any information about me or my father, so we have nothing to worry about. Right?

Gwen: Right.

Jessica: Oh! Don't hurt him, Luis! He's my husband. I love him.

Luis: She can't help you now.

Spike: Yeah?

Luis: Nobody can.

Spike: You ain't got no cop jurisdiction here, deputy do-right!

Luis: I don't need jurisdiction.

Fancy: Wait, wait, be careful, Luis. He could have a weapon.

Luis: Got a weapon? You got a weapon, Herbert?

Spike: Oh, funny.

[Jessica shrieks]

Luis: Now you're going to tell me where Alistair is or I'm going to beat it out of you. Hear me?

Alistair: Come on! Do it! Release your power! Do it! Make me reign supreme!

Edna: Oh! You two stop it or I'm going to crush you with my walker!

[Edna groans]

[Beth groans]

Beth: Shut up, Mother, and take this psycho with you!

[Norma yells]

Beth: Ow!

J.T.: He thinks he's found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but what I've got here on him is just as good.

Beth: I am going to kill you!

J.T.: To think how he tortured these miserable wretches over the years.

[Norma laughs]

Alistair: Oh, I did it. Ah. I have unlocked --

Beth: Damn you!

Alistair: The first level of the chalice's power. Oh!

Beth: All right!

[Alistair chuckles]

Edna: Ooh, ooh. Ooh, would the both of you just cut it out!

On the Next Passions:

Alistair: It'll all be mine, all mine.

Theresa: You've been lying to Ethan for years, but it all ends tonight.

T.C.: I got to get out of here.

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